TITLE: "Wounds to Bind " Chapter 4 [concluding]
                 AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
                   SUMMARY:   Summer 2003.  Paraguay is over.  But Harm 
and Mac have been 
irreparably changed by what happened.  Life changing decisions are made 
both 
professionally and personally.        	  
                   CLASSIFICATION/RATING:   J/S/R/A    PG for language 
and some violence.
                   SPOILERS:  A Tangled Webb especially, but in any of 
our work, any JAG 
episode may be referred to.
                   FEEDBACK:  If you're so moved but never expected nor 
begged for.  Addy is 
ssbpmn@aol.com.  Please however, we request you respect the work, and 
the effort that 
goes into writing it.
                   NOTE:  All parts of this story and previous 
chapters, as well as much of our other 
works, are available at 
                                 
                      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
                                 
                     The message archives are open to all registered 
Yahoo users-no subbing 
required.  Please ignore any notice of adult content you may see-there 
is no R nor NC17 
content there.
                                 
                                 Other archives containing our stories:
                                 
                                      
http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/ or 
http://www.netroenterprises.com/exlibrisjag
                                                                     
                                           or BTL-
                                           
http://www.wtv-zone.com/trgarchive/btl/
                                           
http://destined.to/btlarchive - {BTL H/M Fanfiction archive.}
========
From the Conclusion of Chapter 3—

"Never mind," Clay groused, stepping out of the truck and offering his 
hand up to Mac.  An 
offer he withdrew at once, as soon as he saw her glare.

"Oh--my--god," Mac whispered as soon as her feet hit the ground and 
Clay had stepped out 
of her line of sight.

"Mac you OK?" Cari asked from somewhere behind her.

"No."  Her reply was barely audible.  

Cari jumped down to her side, putting her hand on her shoulder.  "What 
do you need?"

"To find Harm alive and well but it's not going to happen," she 
whispered, pulling from Cari's 
grasp and taking several strides toward one of the buildings.

"How does she know that is the one where Mr. Rabb is?" Christian 
questioned.

"Because this was what I saw," Mac flung back over her shoulder.  "He's 
inside here.  On a 
cot.  He'll be wrapped in a green blanket.  Or rather his body will."

She took another few steps toward the door and Clay unrooted himself 
from his spot, 
sprinting past her, blocking her way.  "Cari, can you. . .would you go 
in first?" he called, and 
firmly planted his feet in front of the doorway, his body language 
daring Mac to try to go 
around him.
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Wounds to Bind" Chapter 4---
  
  "Get out of my way Clay" Mac hissed. "Now."
  
  "No. No way. You are not going in there first. If he is dead, you 
don't need 
  to see him like that. Cari, please."
  
  She nodded and walked around the pair while Clay kept Mac from 
entering.
  
  "Clayton Webb get out of my way or else."
  
  "Or else what?"
  
  "Dammit Clay" she wailed as she pounded on his chest. "Let me get to 
him."
  
  "Not until I know if he's alive," Clay said calmly. "Seeing him dead 
isn't 
  what you need right now."
  
  "Clay he is alive" Cari called from inside. "But before you guys come 
rushing in 
  here you need to know something else."
  
  Mac had already taken a step and Clay quickly stopped her at Cari's 
words.
  
  "What is it?" he called.
  
  "Taylor's body is in here with him" Cari answered and for a moment 
all of 
  the color drained from Mac's face. "It's not a real pretty sight or 
smell."
  
  "Oh God" Mac gasped before turning away as what little food she'd 
eaten 
  quickly came up. Clay put his arm around her until she was finished, 
finally 
  looking up at him weakly. "I'm sorry."

  "Stay out here until we can take care of Taylor's body" Clay begged. 
"Mac 
  you don't need to see that."
  
  "I want to see Harm" she whispered.
  
  "You will. Just give us a minute please."
  
  "No. Now Clay."
  
  "Cari can you cover her?" Clay called.
  
  "Already done."
  
  With that Mac hurried inside, her stomach turning once again as the 
stench 
  reached her nostrils. She managed to keep from vomiting by focusing 
on Harm. 
  Nothing else mattered but him.
  
  "How is he?" Mac whispered as she watched Cari attend to him.
  
  "I'm not going to lie to you "she said quietly. "He's not good. He 
needs to 
  be at a real medical facility right away."
  
  "He's going to die."
  
  "Not if I can help it" Cari answered.
  
  "Cari?" Clay whispered as he walked in.
  
  "Clay we need to get him out of here quick. If you can call in any 
favors 
  anywhere, now would be the time. He needs to be choppered to 
somewhere in 
  the States."
  
  Clay watched Mac kneel down beside Harm, her hand going to his 
  sweat-drenched forehead.
  
  "Harm can you hear me?" she whispered. "Harm its Sarah. I'm here."
  
  With a sigh Clay walked outside and dialed his cell phone. He would 
beg and 
  plead all he had to but somehow he would get what he needed.
  
  "Kershwin it's Webb. I need a fast favor or you're going to lose 
another agent."
  
  Several minutes later he hung up victorious. He'd managed to persuade 
  Kershwin that the life of Harmon Rabb was worth saving. That he owed 
it to 
  the man after everything he'd done.
  
  "ETA of a chopper is about an hour," Clay said as he walked back in. 
"Will 
  that help?"
  
  "Immensely" Cari nodded. "Thank you. I'm going to do all I can here 
but he 
  needs the ICU of a hospital."
  
  "He'll make it won't he?" Mac whispered. "Please tell me he's going 
to be 
  okay."
   
 "I. . .Mac if I promised he would be and then I was wrong, that would 
just compound your 
grief.  He's very sick and I'm not even sure the best place to take 
him."
 
 "Bethesda," she whispered, fighting off tears she knew would not help.
 
 "Eventually yes.  But the kind of help he needs we're talking about 
needing has to be minutes 
away, not hours."
 
 "I know.  I feel so helpless."
 
 "You and me both.  I'm going to give him an injection of anti-viral.  
It can't hurt and may help."
 
 "At least you'd be doing something," she breathed, and as she spoke 
she lifted his upper 
body so that she was cradling him.  "Why isn't he conscious?"
 
 "From the fever and it's probably just as well.  I'm sure when he's 
awake he coughs, and that 
is a pain not to be believed when your lungs are inflamed."
 
 Mac fought back another rush of tears of sympathy and gathered him 
closer in her arms.  At 
the same time she felt Clay's eyes on her and she looked up at him, her 
eyes shiny with those 
tears.  "Clay please.  I tried.  You and me.  Honestly I did try."
 
 Pain crossed his face and he shook his head as he knelt beside her.  
"Sarah, the time we 
had together, I will always cherish."  His voice broke and before he 
could continue she 
reached out and cupped his cheek.
 
 "It was a special time in my life too," she whispered tearfully.  "I'm 
sorry, and yet I'm not.  If 
that made any sense.  And if I misled you or gave you reason to think. 
. .god this is awful.  
What the hell is wrong with me?  I did this exact same thing to Mic. I 
tried with him too."
 
 "Mac, you want to know what I think?" Cari asked softly before Clay 
could answer.
 
 "Sure.  Why not."
 
 "OK.  I think we are put on this earth fated to be with one person.  
And if you try to make it 
happen with someone else, it can sometimes work.  More often it's 
doomed to failure."
 
 Mac's eyes traveled down to the still form in her lap. "So you think 
this guy here is my mate--
like my soul-mate?"
 
 "Yeah I do," Cari smiled gently.  "I think you are his one in five 
billion.  As he is yours.   And 
Clay here may wish it was him but in his heart. . ."
 
 "He knows," Clay finished for her softly, resting his hand on the top 
of Mac's head.  "He 
knows, and right now he's going to see to it that you and the big guy 
here have your chance."
 
 "Thank you," she replied tearfully, at that moment not able to say 
more.
 
 It was a long forty minutes later that they heard the sound of chopper 
blades.
 
 "Thank God," Mac breathed.  "Clay--Taylor.  We have to take her back."
 
 "Yeah I know.  I had them bring a body bag," he replied quietly.
   
 "I didn't know her" Mac said softly.
 
 "She was a good agent. She didn't deserve to die like this. I'm just 
 thankful that Harm kept her with him so she could get the burial she 
 deserved."
 
 Mac nodded as the corpsmen who'd arrived with the chopper hurried into 
the 
 room. She could only watch as Cari explained to them Harm's condition 
and a 
 few moments later he was lifted onto the stretcher and carried back to 
the 
 chopper.
 
 "I need to go with him" Mac said as she hurried after them. "Please. I 
need 
 to stay with him."
 
 "Ma'am there's only room for one of you--you or the doctor" she was 
told when she 
 reached the chopper.  "There's another chopper coming but we can't 
wait."
 
 "Mac you should go" Cari offered at once.
 
 It took a few moments and it was the hardest decision Mac ever had to 
make 
 in her life.
 
 "No" she said finally. "I want you to stay with him. Just in case."
 
 "Mac" she started.
 
 "You can take care of him" Mac whispered. "All I can do is hold his 
hand. 
 Please. I want you to go with him. I know you'll take good care of 
him."
 
 "I'll do my best Mac" Cari said softly. "Once we get him to the Naval 
 Hospital at Roosevelt Roads it's just a waiting game to see if his 
body can 
 fight everything. You know that right?"
 
 Mac nodded. "I just want him alive. That's all that matters right 
now."
 
 Cari climbed aboard the chopper and a moment later it took off, Mac 
taking a 
 deep breath to keep back the tears.
 
 "Sarah" Clay said softly.
 
 "Don't talk to me" she whispered, her anger returning, reasonable or 
not. "If he dies without 
ever knowing I loved him it's your fault." With that she walked away, 
the tears she'd been 
trying to hide now flowing freely from her face.
 
 "Lord please don't let that be the case" Clay sighed. "Please don't 
let it 
 end this way."
 
 As promised another chopper arrived a short time later and they 
watched 
 soberly as the body of Taylor Wallings was taken to the chopper in the 
body 
 bag. Mac blinked back tears, knowing how easily that could have been 
Harm as 
 well.
 
 "That's not going to be Harm" Clay said quietly as he read her mind. 
"We got 
 to him before it was too late. I know it."
 
 She said nothing and climbed aboard the chopper, closing her eyes and 
 issuing prayers heavenward. Prayers that when she arrived at Roosevelt 
Roads 
 it wouldn't be too late. She opened her eyes and glanced over at Clay. 
Deep 
 down she knew it wasn't his fault. In fact, if it hadn't been for him, 
Harm 
 most likely would have died.
 
 "Thank you arranging to get him somewhere so quickly" she said 
finally.
 
 "Mac I want him to live just as much as you do. I hope you know that."
 
 "I just wish I'd gotten to talk to him one last time" she whispered.
 
 "You will talk to him. And it won't be a last time. He's going to be 
okay 
 Sarah. You have to believe that."
 
 "I want to. But I'm so afraid."
 
 "Give him more credit than that. He made it this far. He's going to be 
 okay."
 
 The chopper had barley touched down when Mac jumped from it, anxious 
for 
 word on Harm.
 
"Colonel Mackenzie?  And Mr. Webb I believe?"  The young Ensign stood 
in the door way at 
attention.

"That would be us," Clay nodded.  "You're here to take us to Mr. Rabb?"

"Yes sir.  Ensign Patrick Cassidy.  They took him right down.  Dr. 
Mueller and our best 
internist are on it, and they have a call in to a virologist from the 
University.  My orders were 
to bring you to where they're treating him and see that you're 
comfortable.  Dr. Mueller said to 
tell you she promises she'll be right out to see you."

"Thank you Ensign," Mac nodded with a long swallow and hesitantly 
touched her fingers to 
Clay's palm, hoping against hope he would not push her away, despite 
the rage she had 
directed against him earlier.  "I'm sorry," she added.

His hand closed around hers and they began to follow the young man.  "I 
know; and so am I.  
I should have let you know.  I was just trying to spare you knowing he 
was worse.  Sorry.  I'm 
just not good with relationship stuff."

She gave him a wan smile.  "Maybe you'll have a chance to practice on 
Cari."

"Did you notice something?  Did she say something?" he gasped eagerly.

"Clay, you're sounding like a sixth grader here.  I'll pass her a note 
in math next period.  
Seriously, if she's someone you'd like to get to know, ask her out."

"She and I already talked about that sort of."

"Well there you go," Mac smiled, sobering at once when they stopped in 
front of a room with 
large windows, curtains tightly drawn across them.  "Ensign, why the 
secrecy?"  

"SOP while evaluating a patient ma'am.  Shouldn't be long.  What can I 
get you?"

"Word on my partner.   My friend," Mac begged at once.  "Anything is 
better than not 
knowing."  With that she started for the door herself, only to have 
Patrick bar her way.  
"Ma'am give them five minutes please before you make a scene.  Capt. 
Woods runs a pretty 
tight unit here.  He'd write you up in a heartbeat."

"Like I care anything about that," Mac sighed, feeling Clay's 
restraining arm.  

"Mac give them the five minutes.  Please."

"All right.  I'll go wash my face and get a cold drink.  When I come 
back I want this door 
opened."  She knew she was being unreasonable and at that moment she 
did not care.

When she returned, just at the time she was reaching for the door 
handle, a long glare at Clay 
daring him to stop her, it was pulled open from the inside and Cari 
stepped forward.

"Hi Mac."

"Cari," she gasped in reply.  "OK he's still alive.  That much I can 
see in your face."

"Yes he is, and there's a fragment of good news.  Dr. Lemuel and I are 
having a lot of tests 
run but I'm playing my hunch and starting him on massive IV 
antibiotics."

"Virus--they don't help," she frowned.

"No, but the virus has given him pneumonia.  It's a secondary 
infection.  Pneumonia and his 
bronchi are badly inflamed I believe.  Plus because of the congestion, 
he's. . .OK there's no 
way I'm going to be able to say this without scaring you no matter how 
much I assure you 
we've already started treating it with drugs."

Mac nodded, holding tightly to Clay's hands.  "Go ahead."

Mac thought she was prepared, but as Cari had predicted, hearing the 
words sent waves of 
cold fear through her and she clung tightly to Clay.  Heart Failure.  
  
 "Cari you're not going to let that happen right?" Clay said as he drew 
Mac 
 against him.
 
 "We're doing everything we can. But I want to be as up front as I can 
be at 
 this point. It's a very real possibility that it could happen."
 
 "No" Mac whispered. "Please don't let that happen."
 
 "I'm trying.  The fluid is just overwhelming the heart's ability to 
pump." Cari sighed. "Honest 
Mac right now it's just a waiting game to see if he's going to respond 
to the antibiotics or not. I 
wish I could tell you something more optimistic but I can't."
 
 "You're not sure he's going to make it are you?" she wailed.
 
 "Right now fifty-fifty odds would be optimistic" Cari admitted. "But 
we're 
 not giving up yet."
 
 "Can I see him?" Mac asked.
 
 "Just for a minute before he gets moved up to the ICU area. I don't 
honestly 
 think you can handle staying much longer right now anyway."
 
 She opened the door and led Mac in, Clay following closely behind her. 
Mac 
 froze midway and it was only when Clay forced her to move that she 
did. His 
 arm stayed around her as they both glanced at the man that lay beneath 
all 
 the wires and tubes.
 
 "Cari" Clay whispered.
 
 "I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do."
 
 Mac remained silent as the tears slid down her face. In her mind, 
she'd 
 already lost him. There was no way he was going to live. And she 
couldn't 
 watch him die.
 
 "Sarah" Clay called as she suddenly whirled around and hurried out of 
the 
 room, nearly colliding with the doctor as he walked in.
 
 "Clay let her go" Cari said softly. "She's going to need some time 
alone."
 
 "No. She doesn't need to be alone right now. That's the last thing she 
 needs." He took one last look at Harm before turning and heading out 
of the 
 room to find Mac.
 
 "Ensign which way did the Colonel go?" he asked the young man at the 
desk.
 
 "Outside sir. She seemed pretty upset."
 
 "That's an understatement" he sighed. "Thank you ensign."
 
 Clay hurried outside, finally locating her on a bench outside the 
hospital. 
 He could hear her crying as he neared her and he reached down in front 
of 
 her and pulled her into his arms.
 
 "It's going to be okay" he whispered as she sobbed. "Somehow it's 
going to 
 be. I promise."
 
 "He's going to die Clay. I know it."
 
 "You don't know that. God didn't put you two together on this earth 
just so 
 he could do this. You belong with Harm and it's going to happen."
 
 "I want to believe that" she cried.
 
 "Then do. Come on Sarah. We didn't think we were going to get out of 
 Paraguay alive did we? And we did. Harm is going to pull through this 
too. 
 He's strong and he has a lot to live for."
 
 "He doesn't know I love him."
 
 "So go in there and tell him."
 
 "I can't" she shuddered. "I don't know if I can see him like that 
again. 
 It's not him there."
 
 "He needs you. He needs to know your there. You're going to have to 
suck it 
 up Marine and go in there. You know that."
 
 "I can't watch him die."
 
 "He won't if you're there."
 
 "You believe that?"
 
 "I know if I were dying and you were at my side telling me you loved 
me, I 
 would fight it with everything I had" he said softly. "And I guarantee 
Harm 
 will too."
 
 She nodded, knowing he was right but still afraid of what might 
happen. 
 "Will you stay with me?"
 
 "I'm not going anywhere" he promised. "Not until I know Harm is going 
to be 
 okay."
 
 "Thank you. I don't know how I'd handle this if you weren't here."
 
 "That's why I am. You ready to go back in?"
 
 "Give me a minute please. I need to prepare myself for it again."
  
"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

"I didn't think it would be this bad.  I mean he only got here maybe 
fifteen-twenty minutes 
ahead of us and look at all they've done to him."

"Which means they've gotten a big jump on treating him," Clay reminded 
her.  "But I think 
there's too much chance that he could know you're here for you not to 
be there.  He's been 
through hell and he deserves to have the woman he wants more than 
anything in this world 
right beside him when he wakes up."

She swallowed hard and nodded at the same time, her face wrinkling in 
thought.   "Clay how 
can you be so noble?  I mean how can you after what we were to each 
other, so gladly turn 
me over to him?  I don't get it."

"Well it's not nobleness I can assure you of that," he said slowly.  
"In fact it's killing me.  But 
Sarah, I would want you only if you could love me unconditionally with 
all your heart and soul.  
If you were with me as second choice, because you couldn't have Harm. . 
.well, I guess it 
would be OK for some men.  But I think I deserve better."

"I think you do too," she whispered tearfully.

"And because I do love you, well I can't hold you when I know your 
heart is somewhere else."

"Clay a part of me will always love you.  No matter what happens here," 
she whispered again.  
"Take me to Harm?"

She walked with him right up to the door, stopping suddenly just a few 
feet shy.  "Clay go in 
and make sure it's OK," she begged.  "I mean just check to be sure it's 
not worse can you?"

"You bet."  He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek and 
slipped through the door,  
hearing her draw in her breath to hold as he did so.

His breath came out in a long sigh of relief as he saw no change.   In 
two quick strides he was 
beside the bed, and he pressed his fingertips into the back of Harm's 
hand.  "OK Rabb, listen 
up.  The woman you told me you love is waiting outside for you to tell 
her that in person, and 
she has a message for you along those lines too.  So you better start 
getting better really fast.  
You can fight whatever bug this is.  I know you can.  You've got ice 
water in your veins when 
you're in air to air combat, so you can bloody well act like you've got 
a set here and fight this.  
And that's all I've got to say until you can talk back to me.  Now 
here's Mac."

Rapidly he opened the door.  "Mac coast  is clear.  He doesn't look any 
worse and I've 
chewed his ass so he's ready for you."

"OK thanks," she gulped, and kissed his cheek as she passed him.  For a 
long minute after 
Clay had closed the door, Mac simply sat quietly and watched Harm's 
chest rise and fall, 
keeping time with the life giving oxygen that was being pumped into him 
as his breathing was 
assisted.

"Looks like it's just you and me now Sailor," she said softly, 
tentatively touching his fingers to 
his hand.  She had expected him to feel cold.  The cold of death, since 
in the dark recesses of 
her mind she had already declared him dead.  Instead the skin was warm, 
fever warm, and 
dry.  "Harm."  His name escaped her throat as a soft coarse cry and she 
pressed his hand to 
her mouth to stifle herself.  Tears she could not control and no longer 
cared to try slid down 
her cheeks, wetting his hand.

"God above, don't take him from me," she prayed silently.  Once and 
once again, then over 
and over.  It was as if the words were on an old 45-rpm record with a 
deep scratch.  "God 
above, don't take him from me. . .God above. . ."
 
 It was a long twenty-four hours before there was any sign of change. 
She'd 
 slept at his side, Clay not able to persuade her to leave him. Cari 
was in 
and out constantly, monitoring her patient along with Dr. Lemuel. Each 
time 
 Mac would look to them hopefully, waiting for any indication that 
something 
 had changed. That he was getting better.

 "Finally" Cari sighed on this particular trip in. "It's not much but 
we'll 
 take it."
 
 "Take what?" Mac asked.
 
 "We're finally getting the fever down. It's just a little but it's a 
 step in the right direction. And right now it's the best we've had."
 
 "So there's still hope?" she whispered.
 
 "I never gave up hope" Cari smiled. "I think Harm has a lot left to 
live 
 for. We just need to give him a little help to fight this thing. And I 
think 
 it's finally working."
 
 "Please Lord" Mac murmured as she reached for Harm's hand and squeezed 
it. 
 "Come on sailor. I'm here and I'm waiting for you to get better."
 
 "And that's probably the best medicine for him" she smiled. "You keep 
 telling him that. It's going to make a difference."
 
 It was another long eight hours before it did. Mac had been dozing in 
the 
 chair when she felt pressure on her hand. Immediately she was awake 
and at 
 his side.
 
 "Harm it's me" she said softly. "Easy sailor."
 
 His eyes finally opened, looking up frantically at her for a moment.
 
 "Harm it's okay. Just relax. They've got you on a breathing tube. 
Please 
 just relax."
 
 Her soothing voice calmed him and she squeezed his hand for further 
 reassurance as she reached for the call button.
 
 "He's awake," she said unnecessarily to Cari when she walked in with 
Dr. 
Lemuel.
 
 "I see that. Hello Harm. Nice to have you back with us. I'm Cari. And 
you 
 sure have given this woman here a big scare."
 
 "Yes he has" Mac whispered.
 
 "Mac why don't you give us a few minutes and then you can come back 
in" Cari 
 suggested.
 
 She nodded and gave Harm's hand another squeeze before walking out of 
the 
 room.
 
 "Hey what's going on?" Clay asked. "Everything okay?"
 
 "He's awake. And I guess that's a good sign. Cari and Dr. Lemuel are 
in with 
 him right now."
 
 "See I told you he was going to be okay."
 
 "I'm still afraid that's not going to be the case" she sighed. "He's 
been 
 through so much Clay."
 
 "And he's got you to get him through the rest. He's likely going to be 
off 
 is feet for a good while but at least you'll be there with him. Then 
he'll 
 be fine and this will all be a distant memory."
 
 "Yes I will be" she nodded. "I should never have let it go like it 
did. When 
 we got back from Paraguay I should have worked it out with him."
 
 "But you didn't because of me" Clay said quietly.
 
 "It's not your fault Clay. I went to you and quite frankly I'm ashamed 
of 
 how I used you."
 
 "Sarah you didn't use me. You needed someone and I was happy to be 
there for 
 you. Figuring it might lead to something else. Hoping anyway."
 
 "And you've stood with me through all this" she sighed. "And if it 
wasn't 
 for you, Harm wouldn't even be alive."
 
 "I'm your friend Sarah. I will always be that."
 
 "A good one at that" she whispered.
    
"We've known each other a long time," he said softly.  "We've been down 
and dirty before."

"Yeah I know," she agreed.  "I hope that time is over.  For all of us."

"Sounds like you're making a decision."

She bit her lower lip and shook her head.  "Not a decision I can make 
for myself alone.  At 
least I hope not.  I hope he and I. . ."  Her thought went unfinished 
as the door opened and 
Cari and the doctor emerged.  

'Mac he's all yours," Cari smiled.  "He's awake but he's going to be 
hoarse from the tube.  I 
know you won't tire him out."

"Can you tell me for sure he's going to be OK?"

"That would be a little premature," Cari replied, speaking slowly.  
"But I like his chances a 
helluva lot more now than I did a few hours ago."

"OK I can live with that.  Any improvement right?"

"Exactly.  Small baby steps.  It's going to be a long time before he 
goes back to full duty."

"You left out the 'if ever' that you're thinking," Mac said flatly.

"I know.  I didn't want to hit you with too much at once."

"Thanks.  Right now I'll take alive and go from there."  With that, Mac 
slipped through the door 
to Harm's bedside.

"Dr. Mueller can I offer you some coffee?" Dr. Lemuel smiled.

"Uh actually doctor thank you but I was about to make the same offer to 
Mr. Webb here.  He 
and I are trying to get acquainted."

The doctor put up his hands in surrender.  "OF course.  Say no more."  
He left them alone 
and Clay looked down at the petite woman, smiling amusedly.

"You're offering to take me for coffee Doctor?"

"Yes Mr. Webb I certainly am.  You know I've met a lot of people in the 
Agency, but I have to 
say unequivocally you are by far the most fascinating.

"Is that in a good way?" he asked anxiously.  "Or is that code for 
Clayton Aaron Webb you are 
without a doubt the biggest putz on the planet."

"I guess you'll have to let me buy you that coffee so I can expound," 
she laughed, motioning 
him to follow her.
=============
Harm's eyes were open when Mac reached the bedside, and without 
hesitation she bent 
down and kissed his dry lips, a kiss he tried in vain to return.

"OK Flyboy, the doctor said you were going to be hoarse, not to mention 
I'm not to be tiring 
you out so why don't you just lie back there and listen," she 
whispered, feeling tears once 
again behind her eyes and this time not bothering to prevent their 
tracking down her cheeks.

He nodded slowly, and even more slowly lifted his hand, beseeching her 
with his eyes.  At 
once she took it, pressing it to her now dampened cheek.  

"Hi," she managed, her throat tightening and just getting that one 
syllable out was a struggle. 

His mouth formed the same word but no sound came out and she smiled 
softly.  "Don't rush 
it.  You're going to be OK."  As she spoke she rubbed his hand against 
her cheek, wetting it 
with her tears.

His eyes opened wide, his face clearly indicating he had no memory of 
what happened.  His 
expression asking where he was and begging answers.

"We got Baracas and the virus, and came and got you," she told him 
quickly.  "Mission 
accomplished.  A helluva lot of people owe their lives to you for 
finding out what was going to 
go down."  

He mouthed 'OK' and his hand convulsed in hers as he tried to speak and 
still there was no 
sound.

"Just relax.  You're going to be OK," she soothed.  "Maybe it would 
help if I did this."  She 
leaned down and kissed him again, her lips trailing across his cheek to 
her ear.  "I love you 
Mr. Rabb," she whispered, letting her mouth touch his ear.
  
  His hand gently squeezed around hers and she gave him a small smile 
as she 
  leaned back. "I want you to rest. We'll have plenty of time to talk 
later. 
  Right now all that matters is you're going to be okay."
  
  He opened his mouth to speak again and this time she heard the words 
he'd 
  been trying to utter.
  
  "Sarah. Love you."
  
  Mac smiled brightly at his words, her hand gently stroking his cheek. 
"Rest 
  Harm" she said softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
  
  He nodded and this time his eyes started to drop shut and Mac held 
onto his 
  hand as he once again drifted to sleep.
  
  ***********
  "So he's going to be okay?" Clay asked as he and Cari sat down in the 
  cafeteria of the hospital.
  
  "As I told Mac, baby steps. Right now this is a step in the right 
  direction."
  
  "So wait" he frowned. "You're saying he still might not be okay?  I 
don't 
  understand."
  
  "Look" Cari said slowly. "His body has been through a lot. The virus, 
the 
  pneumonia. We're just being cautious."
  
  "Does Sarah know this?"
  
  "I told her the same thing I told you. We're pleased that there's 
  improvement but he's still not out of the woods yet."
  
  "But you're sure he will be?"
  
  "Clay" she begged with a tired sigh.
  
  "Okay I'll let it go. But if there's something Sarah should know, you 
need 
  to tell me first."
  
  "There's nothing to tell except we're just cautiously optimistic at 
this 
  point."
  
  "Which means?"
  
  "Clay."
  
  "All right. I'm sorry. I just want him to be okay. It would destroy 
her if 
  she lost him and I don't want that to happen."
  
  "I know. And I think it's wonderful that you care about her that 
much."
  
  "Don't you dare let anyone know you've seen this side of me" he said 
with a 
  small smile. "It would ruin my reputation."
  
  "I won't. But I have to say you are a lot different than some people 
portray 
  you. You're not the cold and calculating person they make you out to 
be."
  
  "I do what I have to when I have to" Clay sighed. "But when it gets 
personal 
  like with Harm and Mac, well then it's different. I just keep going 
over in 
  mind if we could have done something to get to him sooner."
  
  "We did the right thing," Cari said softly. "You knew what we had to 
do 
  first. You told Mac that."
  
  "Yeah but at the same time it wasn't easy. I wanted to go find him 
just as 
  much as she did."
  
  "But your training wouldn't let you."
  
  "No. I knew what we had to do. But it wasn't easy."
  
  "It never is. But then no one said this life would be easy. But you 
knew 
  that. It was probably never easy for you father either."
  
  "So you know about my Dad" he smiled.
  
  "Neville Webb was a legend. Everyone knows of him. You're always 
trying to 
  live up to him aren't you?"
  
  "Yeah I guess," he admitted. "After Paraguay I was pretty sure I'd 
never 
  make that."
  
  "We'll you've redeemed yourself."
  
  "Harm did all the work. We just got Baracas."
  
  "Clay you did a lot too" Cari smiled. "You'll get recognized for 
this."
  
  "You too. You're the one that saved Harm's life."
  
  "I'm just glad I was there to help. Honestly that's why I came to the 
  agency. So I could make a difference in cases like this."
  
  "Well I know Sarah will be forever grateful to you. As will I."
   
 A slow smile came over her face.    "Sarah's gratitude is nice and all 
well and good, but you 
Clayton Webb, well indebtedness from you is something to cherish.  
Especially since I hope 
once we're back in DC we're going to be seeing each other."
 
 Now it was his turn to do that same smile.  "I want that to be more 
than just a hope."  He took 
his finger and gently tilted her head up so that he could give her a 
quick gentle kiss.
 
 "You're certainly everything everyone says about you," she sighed.  
"Just know that I'm a 
little scared of you as well as in awe of you."
 
 "You're afraid I'll hurt you."
 
 "I know that you're coming from what you hoped would be you and Mac.  
I don't do 
rebounds."
 
 "Nor do I," he told her firmly.  "Sarah and I were doomed from the 
start.  She has loved that 
man since the day she met him.  Only an idiot would have tried to fight 
that."
 ==============
FOLLOWING MORNING"

 "Everyone comfy?"  The cheerful voice boomed into Harm's room from the 
door as soon as 
the nurse opened it and saw that Mac had availed herself of the extra 
space on Harm's bed. 
And was sleeping in the crook of his arm.
 
 Neither moved and the nurse shook her head, walking in on well padded 
shoes to check 
Harm's monitors.  When she emerged, the nurse with whom she was making 
morning rounds 
was waiting for her in the open doorway.  "Macy, what's with them?"
 
 "Love," Macy shrugged.  
 
 It would be another twenty-four hours before Harm would show a 
definite turn around.  Cari 
herself breezed into the room that morning.  Mac, having been given a 
cot next to Harm's 
bed, this time was on her feet at once, seeing the doctor with his 
chart.
 
 "Cari?  Cari is that a small hint of a smile?"
 
 "A small one," she whispered.  "The infection is most definitely on 
the run.  His blood work 
looks amazingly better than it did twelve hours ago even."
 
 "He's going to be OK," Mac sighed, pulling herself from the bed and 
standing at his bedside.  
"Wow.  He's going to be OK."
 
 "Yeah we think so," Cari smiled confidently.  "You're going to be able 
to take him back to DC 
in a week or so."
 
 "He's not going to be ready for duty that quick though surely?"
 
 Cari's face took on a whole other look at those words.
 
 "Cari?"  Mac felt the cold of ice seep into her belly.  "Cari?"  
 
 The other woman gave her a helpless shrug and motioned her out of the 
room.  "Mac I. . 
.actually I'm glad you brought that up because. . ."
 
 "Cari do you have any idea how much you're scaring me right now?"
 
 "Sorry, getting to the point.   Remember I told you he might have some 
residual heart 
damage.  We haven't run the definitive tests yet--he's not up to 
that--but what I'm seeing now 
would indicate that's the case."
 
 Mac took a long shuddering breath and Cari pressed her hand to her 
shoulder before going 
on.  "On the good news front, it's not life threatening I would bet 
money."
 
 Mac allowed herself a small measure of relief at those words. "But it 
could be career-
threatening?"
 
 "It could be," Cari nodded.  "But remember a few days ago you swore 
that alive was 
enough."
 
 ""Yeah I did.  So how bad is it?"
 
 "It's related to the heart muscle, from all the hours that the heart 
and lungs were congested 
with the fluid from the pneumonia," she explained gently.  "The muscle 
enlarges and 
weakens.  Medication will help compensate and some recovery is 
possible.   But enough to 
maintain the Navy's, or the Agency's, physical standards for speed and 
endurance, not to 
mention that he's going to need to have easy access to his medication. 
. .are you seeing 
where I'm going here?"  
 
 "Yes and I don't like it" Mac whispered. "I don't know how he's going 
to 
 react to this."
 
 "Likely he's going to be happy that he's still alive so he can spend 
the 
 rest of his life with you" Cari said with a small smile.
 
 "But giving up his life, which is to say his career if he wanted the 
Navy to re-instate him, isn't 
going to be easy for him."
 
 "The Agency won't keep him either. I can almost guarantee that."
 
 "So he has nothing" Mac sighed.
 
 "No he has his life and he has you" Cari reminded her. "Honestly Mac I 
think 
 that's going to be enough."
 
 "You don't know Harm."
 
 "No I don't. But at the same time, I think he's going to be happy with 
what 
 he has."
 
 "So he's going to have to live with this for the rest of his life" Mac 
 asked.
 
 "Like I said with medication it won't be an issue. Except that he 
can't work 
 for the Agency or in the Navy. But there wouldn't be any reason he 
couldn't 
 do anything else. Like work in a civilian law firm."
 
 "That's not Harm."
 
 "No it's probably not. But that will be up to you two to figure out 
what 
 he's going to do."
 
 "So when are you going to tell him all this?"
 
 "I'm not. You are. Hearing it from you is going to make it a lot 
easier for 
 him to deal with."
 
 "Nothing is going to make it easier" Mac sighed.
 
 "Hey what's wrong?" Clay asked as he walked up to them. "Is Harm 
okay?"
 
 "He's doing a lot better" Cari told him. "We're much more optimistic 
that 
 he's going to make a full recovery."
 
 "With the exception of one little problem" Mac moaned.
 
 "What?" Clay frowned. "What's wrong?"
 
 "Harm will likely never work at the Agency or JAG again. Cari will 
explain it."
 
 With that Mac turned and walked into Harm's room, leaving Cari to talk 
to
 to Clay.
 
 "Cari what is she talking about?" Clay asked.
 
 "Harm's developed a heart condition that we can easily treat with 
medicine. 
 However it's likely enough of an issue that he wouldn't pass the Navy 
 physical and we both know how strict the Agency is."
 
 "I see" he sighed.
 
 "Like I told Mac, I don't think it's life threatening. We can treat it 
with 
 medication and likely he'll live a normal life."
 
 "He just can't do the things he was born and trained to do."
 
 "But he's alive. And once they both get passed the shock of this, 
they'll 
 realize that's all that matters."
 
 "You're right. I know you're right. I just hope he can live with it."
 
 "Maybe now they'll both appreciate life a little more" Cari said 
softly.
 
"Well none of us is the same person we were a few months ago," he 
sighed.  "I'm not even 
totally sure of my status.  I mean Paraguay seems to have gone away but 
you know as well 
as I do things like that have a way of coming back months later.  Like 
when you're being 
considered for reassignment.  God knows even being sent to Paramaribo 
was punishment.  
Now I'm stuck in DC which when I thought I was going to be with Sarah, 
I was OK with."

Sofia's eyes narrowed as she thought over his words.  "This goes back 
to what we were 
saying before.  About rebounds."

"I told you that's not the case didn't I?"  

"Yeah you did.  You're going to have to remind me of that a little," 
she said softly, adding with 
southern candor.  "Clay, for a long while, not since med school in 
fact, I didn't have anyone in 
my life.  Between the hours I work, the studying I do to keep up and so 
forth.  Then two years 
ago, a new guy comes into my section.  A doctor like me, researcher.  
Daniel Tapping.  We 
date.  He pulls me kicking and screaming into a relationship.  I fall 
in love.  We start talking 
about rings."

She paused for breath and Clay frowned.  "Are you telling me this guy 
is my rival?"

"Yeah.  He's so interested in me that three months later he resigned 
and went home to 
Flagstaff to his wife."

"Oh I'm sorry," he whispered, shaking his head.

"Are you really?"

"Hell no," he grinned slyly, taking her hand.  "Cari, you and I--I 
can't explain it except that 
except for Sarah, in what has to be the last ten years at least, I've 
never met anyone I was 
drawn to like I am you.  When I first met Sarah, before JAG, we let 
careers and ambitions get 
in the way.  This time we tried again, and there was something much 
stronger and more 
formidable.  About six-four, two hundred pounds worth."

"You were hoping she could forget him and move on with you."

"Yeah.  But it wasn't going to happen, and you know what, if you 
believe that adage about 
God moving in mysterious ways, well that brought me to you.  I can't 
say as I'm sorry."

"I'm not either."

"Or about Daniel?"

"Hell no."
=============
Mac was just getting herself seated when Harm heard her and forced 
himself awake.  "God 
bless all I do is sleep."

"And get better," Mac smiled, leaning down for his kiss.

"Yeah?  Really?  Like in Rabb you're good to go.  Rabb, get out of here 
and get back to 
work."  His eyes lit up hopefully as he spoke.

"Well sort of," she said slowly.  "You're going home--when they say 
you're well enough for me 
to take you.  But they've got the infection to turn around and that's 
the best news."

He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face.  "But there's more that you 
haven't told me--yet."
 
 "Yes there is," she said as she reached for his hand. "But we don't 
have to 
 talk about that right now."
 
 "Mac whatever it is, I want to know" he whispered. "I need to know. 
Please."
 
 "I know you do. But there's no easy way to tell you this."
 
 "Tell me what. Mac you're scaring me. I am going to be okay right?"
 
 "With the exception of the fact that probably you'll never work at JAG 
or the CIA 
 again yes" she said softly.
 
 "Wait. I don't understand it. I'm getting better. Why wouldn't I be 
able to 
 go back to the Agency."
 
 "Because of the virus and how long it was left untreated your heart 
was 
 damaged" she said quietly. "Cari is pretty sure with medicine it won't 
be 
 anything you'll have to worry about. But it's enough of an issue that 
you 
 wouldn't pass the requirements for the Agency. Or the Navy for that 
matter."
 
 "So I have no career anymore."
 
 "There's always civilian law. You could easily get a job with a firm 
in DC."
 
 "Mac I can't work for a civilian firm. You know that."
 
 "I know. And I'm so sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to 
your 
 new career with the Agency."
 
 "Taylor's dead isn't she?"
 
 His question and sudden change of subject caught her off guard and for 
a moment she didn't 
answer.
 
 "Mac?"
 
 "Yes she is" Mac said finally. "Clay arranged for her body to be 
returned to 
 the States to her family. And I'm sure they're grateful to you for 
making 
 sure that that could happen."
 
 He nodded; his eyes closing briefly before opening up to look at her 
again.
 
 "I need to talk to you about so much" he sighed. "I just don't have 
the 
 strength yet."
 
 "I know. And right now all that matters is you getting better. We'll 
have 
 plenty of time to talk later. I'm not going anywhere until you can 
come with 
 me."
 
 "Is Clay still here?"
 
 "Both he and Cari are" she nodded. "And I don't think either of them 
are 
 going anywhere either. But right now I want you to rest and I promise 
we'll 
 talk about everything later."
 
 "I didn't love her."
 
 "You mean Taylor?" Mac said slowly and he nodded.
 
 "I'm not proud of what I did" he sighed.
 
 "Harm we can talk about this later" Mac said as she squeezed his hand. 
"I'm 
 not going anywhere. I promise."
 
 "You won't leave?" he murmured as his eyes dropped shut again.
 
 "Never."
 
 With that he relaxed and a moment later was asleep when Cari and Clay 
walked 
 into the room.
 
 "How is he?" Cari asked. "Did you talk to him?"
 
 "I told him" Mac sighed. "I don't know if it really sank in. He did 
ask me 
 about Taylor."
 
 "And you told him?" Clay asked.
 
 "He knew. He just wanted confirmation."
 
 "Sarah how about a break" Clay suggested. "You haven't left this room 
since 
 he got here."
 
 "No" she shook her head. "I promised him I'd stay. And I am."
  
"You need some time to yourself," Cari spoke up firmly.  "Seriously 
now.  He's going to go 
home and need a lot of looking after.  You want to do that don't you?"

"Well of course but. . ."

"One of the first rules of care-giving is to take care of yourself 
first.  Clay get in there and sit 
with Harm.  Mac and I are going to clean up, get some non-hospital, 
read decent food, maybe 
a hot cup of tea, and take a walk through these beautiful grounds.  See 
you in about two. . 
.hours that is."

"Whoa wait, do I have baby-sitter tattooed to my forehead?" he yelped.

"Mister, you have your orders," Cari told him, taking Mac's arm.

"Cari no, he's going to wake up and I'm not there and I've broken a 
promise," Mac moaned.

"On the contrary, he'll have Mr. CIA here," Cari smiled.  "Please Mac I 
need some time 
myself, and I don't want to be alone really."

"OK, but Clay I want your word of honor that if he wakes up and he's 
upset, you're to call me 
right away," she stipulated.

"OK OK, just go so you can come back.  I'm not no nurse."

"Of course you are, and an adorable one," Cari smiled and gave him a 
quick kiss.

"I can't be bought with sweetness," he groaned and slipped inside 
Harm's door.

"You two are good together," Mac said softly, allowing Cari to propel 
her along.

"He's a pretty neat guy," she agreed.  "I do feel a little swept off my 
feet and maybe a little bit 
like he's coming off you and onto me.  In fact he and I talked about 
that earlier."

"Well think of it more as me coming to my senses and taking him with 
me," Mac replied.  "I 
mean it was wonderful being with him.  He's sweet and caring and tender 
and knows how to 
treat the woman in his life.  And for a while we both thought I was 
that woman, but it wasn't 
going to happen.  I almost made that mistake two years ago and you'd 
think I'd have learned, 
but I'm a hard headed Marine and sometimes it takes it being pounded in 
to me a few times 
before it takes."

"Well Clay and I have only just met--not counting a kiss a couple years 
back that was in the 
heat of a party, but I know. . ."  She paused and smiled in 
realization.  "You and Harm. . .from 
day one right?"

"Oh yeah totally.  We were both just too stupid to let it happen.  So 
by all means do not use 
us as a barometer."
===========
Inside Harm's room an hour passed slowly.  Clay leafed through two 
magazines and helped 
himself to some jello left untouched on a tray they had brought Mac.  
Finally he closed his 
eyes and began to doze off.  Just in the middle of a pleasant dream, 
prominently featuring 
Carissa Mueller, he felt a hand close over his.  His hand that had 
wandered to the edge of 
Harm's bed as he leaned forward to rest.

"Sarah?"

Clay froze at first, not daring to open his eyes.  A moment later he 
realized Harm likely had 
not opened his either.  "Hmmmm," he responded in the best mimic of 
Sarah Mackenzie's 
voice he could manage.

"Love you."  Harm's voice was muffled by his pillow, his eyes still 
closed as he attempted to 
wake up, struggling against the medication that kept him relaxed and 
resting.

"Harm this is so sudden.   I had no idea," Clay said in his normal 
voice.

 Harm's eyes flew open and Clay gave him a wide smile. "Welcome back 
Harm."
 
 "Where's Mac?" Harm demanded.
 
 "Getting a needed break. She hasn't left you side since we found you. 
She's 
 exhausted and Cari took her to get some real food and to clean up."
 
 "But she's okay?"
 
 "Of course she is" Clay assured him. "You're the one lying in the bed 
not 
 her."
 
 "You saved my six this time" Harm sighed.
 
 "So we're even" Clay shrugged. "Besides I didn't want Sarah by 
default."
 
 "I love her Clay."
 
 "I know. And she loves you. She always has. She tried to convince 
herself 
 that she could love me but it was never going to work."
 
 "But you love her don't you?"
 
 "Rabb I have always loved Sarah" Clay smiled. "And I always will. But 
at the 
 same time I know where her heart lies. And it's with you. And I love 
her 
 enough not to fight that."
 
 "Am I getting out of here soon?" Harm asked.
 
 "Not yet buddy. You were pretty sick."
 
 "I'm sorry about Taylor. I wish I could have done more for her. She 
didn't 
 deserve to die like that."
 
 "No she didn't. But like the rest of us, she knew the risks of what 
she 
 did."
 
 Harm nodded. "She was a good agent. I learned a lot from her. Course 
I'll 
 never be able to use it."
 
 "Harm there's worse things in life than not being able to work at the 
Agency 
 or for the Navy. Right now you should be thanking your lucky stars 
that 
 you're still alive. And that you have Sarah in your life."
 
 "I am thankful she's here" Harm sighed.
 
 "Do you have any idea how upset she was about you" Clay continued. 
"All she 
 was worried about was getting to you before it was too late."
 
 "That's why I didn't tell you where I was. I wanted to make sure you 
took 
 care of Baracas first. I knew she'd want to get me first and then it 
would 
 have been too late to stop him."
 
 "You did the right thing. Course you know that."
 
 "I just wanted to make sure Baracas didn't hurt anyone else. Watching 
Taylor 
 die was hard enough."
 
 "Get some rest Harm" Clay said quietly. "Sarah will be back shortly."
 
 ********************
 "Okay I needed that" Mac sighed as she emerged from the shower.
 
 "I know you did. And now we'll get some food and then you can go back 
and 
 see Harm."
 
 "Did you call to make sure he's okay?"
 
 "Yes" Cari smiled. "He's doing fine. I told you the worst is past."
 
 "I know you keep saying that but I'm just afraid to believe it. I came 
so 
 close to losing him."
 
 "Sarah he's going to be okay."
 
 "Thank you. I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you for 
everything you 
 did for him."
 
 "Just seeing that you and him get another chance is thanks enough" 
Cari 
 smiled. "And of course now that you're with Harm, well that leaves 
Clay open 
 for me."
 
 "You really like him don't you?" Mac smiled. "And of course I'd be the 
first 
 person to tell you what a wonderful guy he is."
 
"I know he comes highly recommended by you," Cari smiled.  "I really do 
want to see if he 
and I can find some common ground.  You know I meet men by the dozen 
coming and going 
and never once did any of them--well save one but that's a long sad 
story--grab me like your 
Mr. Webb."

"He's not mine," Mac smiled.  "Except that in another lifetime, another 
time and place where 
there was no such person as Harmon David Rabb, well then, yeah maybe."

"I guess. . .I hope he likes me too," she said softly and then shook 
her head.  "Would you 
listen to me. I sound like I'm in seventh grade talking about Thomas 
Worster."

"He does.  And if you like, I'll pass him a note in study hall."

"Please," she giggled.
=============
"Clay you're still not Mac," Harm fretted.

"Sorry, no.  Just the sitter," he sighed.  "Give the woman a break 
would you.  She's exhausted 
and stressed to the max and you're going to need care when we get home 
and you know 
she's going to want to be the one and only one to do it.  Not that 
you'd let anyone else 
anyway."

"Well I guess not," he mumbled.  "Have I mentioned how much I hate 
being dependent on 
anyone.  Not to mention having no direction in my life at this moment."

"I would think having Sarah Mackenzie as part of your life. . .hell she 
is your life. . .would be 
enough," Clay told him firmly.  "Good god man you've only got a small 
heart problem that 
medication can control.  You can teach at the JAG school or at 
Annapolis or you can consult 
as a civilian at JAG making eighty thou.  Use your imagination and stop 
moaning about what 
you don't have.  You have so much."

"Yeah I guess I do," he said softly.  "And there's irony in there 
somewhere that I needed you 
to remind me."

"Don't worry about it.  I want you to meet Cari."

Harm's blank look told him he was not sure of whom he was speaking.

"Cari.  Carrisa.  Mueller.  Your doctor fool.  The one that was with us 
when we came after 
you."

"OK.  With you.  Sort of.  Taylor died."

Clay looked a trifle startled at that stray thought but recovered 
quickly.  "Yeah. Her body was 
sent back to her folks under flag."

"Thanks.  I wasn't going to leave her."

"No you wouldn't I know.  I'm sorry.  I know you and she were close."

"I didn't love her Clay.  I slept with her but I didn't love her."  His 
voice grew higher pitched 
and Clay shot a wary eye to the door, concerned that Mac would come 
back and find him 
upset.

"Hey OK you didn't love her.  We've all been there man," Clay assured 
him.  

"You're going to tell me you slept with Mac but you didn't love her?"

"Not quite.  Loved in vain maybe," he replied quietly.  "Harm she's 
yours.  She always has 
been.  Now relax before she comes back and rips my heart out for 
getting your shorts in a 
knot."

"I want out of here," Harm groused.

"Yeah and I want to be in the next Star Trek movie," Clay sighed.  
"Neither of us are going 
anywhere any time soon."
 
 "This sucks."
 
 "Better than the alternative" Clay reminded him. "You're lucky Harm. 
You're 
 still alive and you have Sarah in your life now."
 
 "What if she's just here because she thinks she should be?"
 
 "Rabb where do you come up with these things" Clay moaned. "That woman 
loves 
 you.  With all her heart and soul. If we hadn't gotten to you in time, 
well 
 I don't even want to think what she would be like today. She loves you 
Harm. 
 Don't blow it this time."
 
 "And I love her. I just don't want to mess up her life."
 
 "How would you do that? You're not an invalid Harm. And maybe now that 
 you're not at JAG or the Agency you'll concentrate on what's important 
in 
 life."
 
 Harm nodded slowly, knowing Clay was right. There was more important 
thing 
 in life. Mainly having Mac in his life.
 
 He was still pondering Clay's words when Mac returned a short time 
later.
 
 "Hey you're still awake," she said as she sat down next to his bed. 
"How you 
 feeling?"
 
 "Like I'm ready to go home," he said with a small smile.
 
 "Soon. And of course you know you're not going home alone."
 
 "Mac I don't want you taking care of me."
 
 "Okay" she said slowly. "I'm not going to force myself into your 
life."
 
 "No that's not what I meant" he sighed. "I want you in my life. I just 
don't 
 want you feeling like you have to take care of me."
 
 "I want to take care of you because I love you Harm" Mac said softly. 
"What 
 is it going to take to get you to realize that?"
 
 "A lot of you saying that."
 
 "Then I'll be happy to keep saying it. I love you Harm. And nothing is 
going 
 to change that."
 
 "I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back" he sighed.
 
 "Harm you don't have to figure it out right now. And honestly all you 
need 
 to be worrying about is getting better. Not what you're going to do."
 
 "I want to be able to provide for you."
 
 She smiled at his words. "I know you do. And we'll figure something 
out 
 Harm. You've always talked about Frank wanting you to go out there and 
work 
 for him."
 
 "Yeah he has. But I don't think I'm cut out for corporate law."
 
 "I can so easily picture you having your own little practice 
somewhere" Mac 
 smiled. "With a little sign that says Rabb LLC."
 
 "How about Rabb and Rabb?" he said softly.
 
 ******************************
 Three Months Later
 St. Simon's Island
Georgia
 
 "Harm be careful" Mac fretted as Harm climbed the ladder. "You know 
they 
 have professional people to do this."
 
 "I can hang a sign" he smiled as he nailed the small wooden sign to 
the 
 building. A moment later he stood next to her and looked up at the 
sign. 
 "Perfect."
 
 "It's actually false advertising" she giggled. "There's only one Rabb 
right 
 now."
 
 "That's going to be fixed real soon," he said seriously. "I promised 
you as 
 soon as we were settled it would happen. And we're settled."
 
 "I still can't believe this is ours" Mac sighed as she looked up at 
the big 
 home that would be both their living space and office. A prewedding 
gift 
 from Trish and Frank, Mac was still amazed at what a whirlwind the 
last 
 three months had been. As promised she'd stayed with him while he'd 
finished 
 his recuperation back in DC. Afterwards there had been a trip to La 
Jolla to 
 tell Frank and Trish the news and then the decision to come to St. 
Simon.
 
 "You sure you don't regret giving up JAG to come here?" he asked as he 
put 
 his arm around her.
 
 "Not for one second" she smiled. "This was the best idea yet sailor."
 
"Not quite," he smiled.  "You and me getting married.  You and me 
getting started on our 
baby.  Both of those rank pretty high up there."

"Oh yeah they do,"  she agreed, taking his hand and walking through the 
house to the back. 
They stepped out onto the patio deck and then onto the sand.  They 
kicked off their shoes 
and walked across the sugar like grains until the water lapped at their 
toes.  

"So tell me about this wedding you've envisioned for us," he 
encouraged, swinging her hand 
as they walked.

"It ends with the minister saying, ladies and gentlemen, may I present 
Mr. and Mrs. Harmon 
Rabb," she sighed.   

"Well that's a given.  Are we talking hillside with the goats?"

She wrinkled her nose, her memory at once gong back to a crowded noisy 
bar where the goat 
conversation had occurred, and how miserable she was.  Engaged to one 
man, loving 
another, and hating herself for doing nothing to correct the situation.

"Mac did I lose you?"

"Yeah for a second I guess," she smiled.  "I guess we can talk about 
the wedding.  I mean 
what kind to have."

"If you want to sure," he said seriously, turning her to face him.  
"But honestly all I care about 
is like you said, I just want you to be Mrs. Rabb when it's all over 
with."

"Me too."

"So whatever you want is just fine," he went on.  "We can get married 
anywhere you say."

"Thanks.  Can I have some time to think on it?"

"All you need," he assured her, tugging her hand to walk.  When they 
had gone another ten 
feet he stopped and pointed back up the beach to the clapboard house, 
done in the style of a 
New England sea captain's home.  "I can't believe that's ours.  That's 
our home Sarah."

It was those words that came to her in the middle of a sleepless night 
several hours later.  
The ocean crashed outside her window and mingled with the sound of 
Harm's light snoring.  
She lie in his arms, listening and feeling happiness well up inside 
her.  All at once it was clear.  
She knew what she wanted.  Still in his grasp she rolled so that her 
head was resting against 
his chest and she listened to his heart beat.  
=======
ONE WEEK LATER

The wedding of her dreams.  Dressed in a long white dress of gauzy 
cotton and carrying a 
bouquet of flowers native to the area, Sarah Catherine Mackenzie stood 
on the windswept 
beach behind their house.  Next to her, dressed in white also, was the 
man she had loved for 
so long it was hard to remember a time when she did not.

Harmon David Rabb carried a bible, an old King James version, to which 
two plain  gold 
bands were attached with gold ribbon.  His hand joined hers, and hers 
was cold and clammy 
from anxiousness.  "No second thoughts?" he asked softly.

"Not a single one."

 The young minister from the nearby church had them kneel before him 
once they had said 
simple vows of love and devotion.  Jacob placed a hand on each head and 
looked 
heavenward.  "Father above,  faith, hope and love all come from You.  
And the greatest is 
love.  Harm and Sarah, may you cherish each other all the days of your 
lives here on Earth.  
Now rise and be presented as Mr. and Mrs. Harmon Rabb for the first 
time.  And Harmon, you 
may kiss your bride."

The kiss was accompanied by the squawking of the sea birds to whom they 
had just been 
presented.  For there were no others in attendance.  Down the road 
there would come a  
chance to share their happiness with their family and friends.  But 
this was their time.  The 
wedding Sarah had dreamed of consisted only of Harm and herself, and 
God's emissary on 
Earth, as they declared eternal love.

THE END
 
  *************************
 Epilogue
 Two years later
 
 "Clay we should have called and warned them" Cari Mueller Webb said as 
she 
 and Clay drove towards Harm and Mac's home.
 
 "And ruin the surprise" Clay smiled.  "No way. The look on Harm's face 
will 
 be priceless."
 
 Cari turned to give her husband's arm a quick swat. Husband of just 
hours as 
 they'd been married in a small ceremony at the Webb family estate 
earlier in 
 the day before heading off to St. Simon.
 
 "It is their anniversary you know. They might have plans."
 
 "With Matt and another one on the way I doubt it" he laughed.
 
 A few minutes later they turned not into Harm and Mac's driveway but 
to the 
 one just past it. It was another large home that workers had been 
fixing up 
 over the past few months.
 
 The moment they pulled in, Harm stepped out of the front door, fifteen 
month 
 old Matthew in his arms, Mac halfway waddling behind him, now six 
months pregnant.
 
 "Hey you missed the driveway" Harm smiled. "We're over here."
 
 "I know" Clay said as he helped Cari from the car. "This is our 
driveway."
 
 "Your driveway" Harm's eyes widened. "You bought this?"
 
 "For my lovely wife" Clay grinned. "I hope you don't mind us being 
 neighbors."
 
 "Wife?" This time it was Mac that looked shocked.
 
 "As of a few hours ago" Cari smiled. "I am now Mrs. Carissa Margaret 
Mueller Webb."
 
 "Well Mrs. Webb this calls for a celebration" Mac said happily 
recovering her surprise. 
 "Cookout on our beach in a few hours."
 
 "Hey no you've got plenty to take care of" Cari laughed. "Clay 
actually 
 ordered a dinner for all of us. The caterer should be here soon."
 
 "Honey I think I'm going to like having them in the neighborhood" Harm 
 smiled as he put his arm around Mac.
 
 
 The End