Title: What Friends Are For Author: Jaimi - canadian_cowgirl69@canada.com Rated: PG-13 Classification: Story, Angst, Friendship (Harm/Mac) Spoilers: Enemy Below Summary: Set before 'I Miss My Friend'. Our fave couple deal with the aftermath of the season 7 finale. Disclaimer: Don’t own anyone or anything, so don’t sue me. Author's Note: Some things don't go along with the spoiler's I've read for the season premiere or second episode, but half this was written before they came out, so I didn't feel like changing them. Also, most likely, the skipper would inform the Admiral of Bud's injuries, but for the story, I wanted Harm to be the one to deliver it, so I worked around it. Hope it wasn't to noticable. Also, I'm not sure how long it would take someone to recover from Bud's injury, so I'm just guessing. And lastly, in all likelyhood, it would be Harm that would try to talk Bud out of his funk, but for the sake of this story and 'I Miss My Friend' to work, I used Mac. K, I think that's all folks. Read and enjoy. What Friends Are For By: Jaimi 1330 ZULU USS Seahawk Arabian Sea Sauntering down a corridor, Commander Harmon Rabb Junior kept an eye out for his partner and best friend, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. He had just returned from a recon flight, his last one before they headed back to DC. She’d promised to meet him outside the flight gear locker room. He still had his flight suit on, having only stowed his helmet and other gear. He enjoyed being in the flight suit...it almost made him feel young again. But really, he’d just been too impatient, wanting to tell his partner about his flight. Despite her being nervous about Tomcats and flying, she always supported and humored him by listening to him babble on about it. As he rounded a corner, he was shocked to find a pale faced Mac standing outside sickbay, with a concerned looking Captain Johnson by her side. Harm's brow furrowed as he approached them, and Mac's sad, chocolate brown eyes met his questioning blue-green ones. He reached out a hand, placing it on her shoulder, and looked between his tough Marine partner, and the Seahawk's grim Navy captain. "What's wrong?" he asked warily. "What happened?" He looked to Mac, who bit her lip, before answering him quietly. "We were just radioed by some troops in Afghan..." She paused. Taking a breath she continued. "They informed us there was an accident involving Lieutenant Roberts in a small village where he was overseeing the groundbreaking for a school that was destroyed during an airstrike." Harm swallowed convulsively before asking hesitantly. "Is he...?" Harm couldn't finish that thought. Instead he asked, "what happened?" "They didn't tell us much," Captain Johnson interjected warily, concern for his JAG officer quite evident. Bud was a hell of an officer and a likeable man. "They were loading him into a helo and said to have a trauma unit ready upon their arrival...with several units of his blood type on hand." Harm paled. Severe blood loss. Not good. He met Mac's eyes again, and instinctively reached down and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She squeezed back but remained silent. If the captain noticed their physical display of support, he said nothing. "I guess all we can do is wait then...what's their ETA?" Harm asked, quietly. The captain looked at his watch. "Should be here any minute now." "About 2 minutes and 36 seconds." Mac said listlessly, none of her usual mischievousness present when rattling off the time. The captain and Harm managed half-hearted smiles. Captain Johnson was, by now, well aware of Mac's many talents. Less than three minutes later, there was shouting heard as a team hurried a stretcher down the corridor toward sick bay. Strapped to it was Bud Roberts, mumbling nonsense, clearly in a state of shock. The three standing by in the corridor exchanged looks of horror upon seeing the bloody stump under the thin white sheet covering the young man. "Oh god," Mac mumbled out, before the three of them followed the team into sickbay. ********** Harm, still in his flight suit, sighed for what seemed the hundreth time in the past two hours. Mac and him were sitting outside sickbay, waiting for news on their friend. What they'd been told so far wasn't comforting. The two partners and the captain had stood back while the doctor had shouted orders. When the officers that had brought Bud in stood back as well, Harm zeroed in on them. Bud had been trying to help a little boy, who was playing in a mine field. PO Coates, who they then noticed come in behind them, looking pale and shaken, had left to get help from the villagers. Bud had been safely on the road when she left. For some reason he'd stepped off the road. /Fatherly instinct,/ were Harm and Mac's identical thoughts. He stepped out, and on to a land mine. It had blown his right leg off at the knee. There was massive blood loss and he was in a state of shock. He lost conciousness not long after he arrived in sickbay, shortly there after, all four of them were shooed out. The captain had left for the bridge, intending to inform his crew of the latest news. There were many worried sailors aboard. Bud was well liked. Jen had sat with them for a while, eventually allowing herself to break down and cry. Mac had immediately gathered the girl in her arms, until she quieted. Then, embarrassed at her 'lack of control', Jen had apologised. Mac would hear none of it, and told her to go take a hot shower and get something to eat. They would let her know the moment they heard something new. Reluctantly, she complied, and now the two were left alone. Neither shed a tear, but both knew the pain the other was going through. They thought of Harriet and AJ. They had told the skipper that they would inform the admiral themselves, as soon as they knew more on Bud's condition. They would leave it to their CO to inform Harriet. Sighing as well, Mac leaned her head against Harm's broad shoulder. Looking down at her tired features, Harm looped his arm around her slender shoulders, pulling her closer, resting his cheek against the top of her head. They stayed that way for the next two hours, waiting, hoping and dreading. Finally, when four hours had elapsed, the door to sickbay opened and a tired, blood covered doctor emerged. "Commander, Colonel," he acknowledged. They quickly stood, hands immediately intertwining. Good news, or bad, they'd deal with it together, as always. "Well, good news is, we've got him stabilized. However, he IS in critical condition. I want to get him to Bethesda, ASAP. We don't have the proper equipment to deal with this kind of injury here. I'm going to ask the captain to prepare a transport for him back to the states. His leg, or what's left of it, is pretty tattered. I've stopped the bleeding, but he'll need reconstructive surgery to make it better suited for a prosthetic limb. I've got several units of blood being pumped back into him, and I'm sending several along. I've given him a dose of Morphine for the pain, but I don't think he'll be waking up anytime soon. His body's been through quite an ordeal." /Well that's putting it mildly,/ Harm thought, bitterly. "We'd like to accompany Lt. Roberts on the transport, Doctor." Mac stated quietly. "Well, that's the captain's decision, but I don't see the problem...it'd probably be handy on the off chance that he did wake up during the trip. Anyway, I'll have him ready to move within the hour, if you could inform the captain, have him radio Bethesda, so they're ready for him... The lieutenant has a family, does he not?" They both nodded, Harm speaking up. "Yes, we'll be informing them ASAP." "Very well. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patient to tend oo." "Yes, Doctor. Thank you," Harm offered, giving Mac's hand another supportive squeeze. Bud was alive and stable. He wasn't out of the woods yet, but it could be worse...he could be dead. The tired man meerly nodded, retreating back through sickbay doors, allowing the two lawyers a glimpse of their extremely pale friend, lying motionless on a gurney. Sharing a distraught look, the two made their way toward the bridge to inform the captain of the latest news, making a mental note to drop by Petty Officer Coates quarters. *********** Approx. 8 Hours Later 0246 ZULU BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL BETHESDA, MARYLAND Admiral AJ Chegwidden sat on a hard plastic chair in a waiting room, a toddler on his knee and a distraught lieutenant pacing in front of him. "Harriet," he admonished gently. "Sit. You're going to wear yourself out." Harriet sighed, turning big blue eyes to her CO and friend. "I'm sorry, Sir. I'm just so worried. They didn't tell you anything more?" "No, Harriet, just that he was injured while ashore in Afghan, and that they were transporting him here ASAP. The captain had the transport ready to go, so Harm had to cut short. He did say Bud was stable, or they wouldn't be moving him so soon. The colonel and the commander will be accompanying him," he added, hoping that would ease her fears some. He saw a little tension leave her shoulders, but not much. /What did you expect? They're not doctors, or miracle workers. They can only be there with Bud in support. If he's even concious to appreciate the support,/ he thought, grimly. "It's gonna be okay, Harriet. Bud's strong. Whatever happened, I'm sure he'll pull through. He's got two wonderful reasons to live," AJ finished gently, indicating her and little AJ. Just then a small group of people approached. It was PO Jason Tiner, Commander Sturgis Turner and Congresswoman Bobbi Latham. "Sir, we came as soon as we got your message. Have you heard anything more?" Sturgis asked. He had just returned home from the Watertown that evening, being greeted at the airport by Bobbi. When they'd arrived at his place, he'd immediately seen his answering machine blinking. Half an hour later, they were here, crossing paths with Tiner in the parking lot. He'd been out with friends, on his day off, when he'd returned home to a similar message. The three took seats in the waiting room as AJ told them they'd learned nothing more, but that the trio were expected to arrive anytime. ************* A weary Mac and Harm walked side by side, making their way to the waiting room the nurse had instructed them to. During the flight home, the partners had sat on either side of Bud, Harm going up front time to time to converse with the pilots. Mac had held Bud's hand the entire time as the medics accompanying them monitered his vital signs. Seeing their friend so still and lifeless, had taken its toll on them. As they rounded the corner, the group already present looked up. Immediately, the partners were bombarded with questions. Mac ignored them all except the silent Harriet, who's sad eyes looked pleadingly at her. Without a word, Mac opened her arms and her young friend flew into them, finally allowing the tears to fall. "It's okay," Mac murmured in her friend's ear. "It's okay. He's going to be okay. I promise. Everything's gonna be okay." The group immediately quieted, watching the two women, as Mac calmed her friend down. Once Harriet was reduced to sniffles, she pulled away, only to have Harm pull her into a hug. Upon releasing her, he sighed. Everyone looked at him expectantly, waiting for word on their friend. "Bud's stable, but in critical condition. He's lost a lot of blood and he's unconcious, but if he remains stable through the night and doesn't lapse into a coma, the doctor's feel he'll make a..." Harm hesitated. /Full? A full recovery?/ he thought to himself. /The man has lost a leg, how is that possible?/ With an inward wince, Harm berated himself. /Because you idiot, Bud's not you. He's not that vain. He's got enough courage and will to go on without two legs. Plus he's got Harriet and AJ. They make him complete. He doesn't need both legs to live life fully with a beautiful wife and child. What do you have?/ He felt cold inside, but then warmed at the thought of his partner. /Mac, I have Mac./ He paused in thought. /Do you?/ Harm shook himself out of his thoughts, and continued. "...a full recovery... However..." "What happened?" AJ asked, not so patiently. "Didn't I tell you earlier?" This earned him a dark look from his CO. Obviously not, or he wouldn't be asking. "Sorry, Sir. It was a long flight... Anyway, that's the however part. Bud was over in Afghan with that whole village school business. There was a child playing in a mine field there. PO Coates ran to get help, while Bud tried to keep the kid from moving anywhere. I don't know exactly what happened, but I have a feeling fatherly instinct played a part... Bud stepped into the mine field...onto a mine." There were sharp intakes of breath, and Mac and Harm shared a look, Mac taking Harriet's trembling hand as Harm finished. "He was thrown several meters...his right leg...his right leg was, uh..." What the hell was he supposed to say? Blown off? Blown apart? Wasn't there anything less gruesome? Finally he settled with the least graphic he could think of in his exhausted state. "...his right leg was severed at the knee. There was uh, nothing left to reattatch." /No shit, Sherlock,/ he cursed himself. There was silence, and the occasional muttered curse from Admiral Chegwidden. Bobbi instinctively covered little AJ's ears, though really the little boy was fast asleep. "But he...he's going to be okay? I'm not gonna lose him? Please tell me I'm not gonna lose him?" Harriet practically begged, tightening her hold on Mac's hand, her gaze switching back and forth between her two closest friends. "You're not going to lose him, Harriet. I promise. He's got too much to live for," Harm said in his quiet, gentle way. Mac smiled. Harm was an arrogant, cocky, SOB, but damn, he could be the sweetest, most gentle man on earth...next to Bud Roberts of course. Suddenly, the adrenaline that had been keeping her going the past 24 hours wavered, and the full reality of the situation set in. Bud was in surgery. Bud was being pumped full of blood because he lost nearly half of his own. He was unconcious. He'd nearly died. There was still the possibility that he could, however small, despite Harm and her's promises. Dear, sweet, gentle, forgiving, compassionate Bud. She felt her insides crumble, but she remained composed. She had to be strong...for Harriet and for little AJ. At the same time, both her and Harm looked over at their godson, sleeping peacefully on Bobbi Latham's lap. What would they tell him when he woke up? ************ Several hours later, the tired group looked up to see a doctor approaching. "Is there a Lieutenant Sims here?" Harriet stood shakily, not relinquishing her hold on Mac's hand. Mac in turn had been leaning against Harm, who held little AJ in his arms. The boy had woken an hour ago, and Harm and Mac, at Harriet's approval, had carefully explained to him that his daddy was hurt, and that he no longer had one of his legs. They assured him his dad would be okay, but that he was going to need AJ to be a good boy for his Mom, and make sure his Daddy knew how much he loved him. The boy, eyes wide and innocent, had nodded saying, "Daddy get bettah soon? Can I see Daddy?" "Not yet, AJ, and your Daddy will be okay, he just needs some time," Mac had reassured the three year old. Satisfied with their answer, he had curled up in his Uncle Harm's lap, and suckered the tall commander into reading him a story. Less then ten minutes later, the little boy was fast asleep again. Harm still held him, curled against his chest, his other arm behind Mac, his hand resting on Harriet's shoulder in silent support. Now as Harriet stood, he and Mac stood as well. "I'm Lieutenant Sims. How is he doctor?" With a sigh, the doctor relayed Bud's condition, everything they'd done and everything they would have to do. "Physically, aside from missing a leg, he's going to be fine. I have every reason to believe he'll remain stable during the night, and that I can pronounce him officially out of the woods by morning. He should come around sometime tomorrow after the pain killers and sedatives wear off. Emotionally may be a different matter. People deal with this type of injury in many different ways. I CAN tell you this, the sooner he accepts what is, and begins healing emotionally, the sooner he'll learn to use his leg again...prosthetic included of course. He'll need to enter rehab, do some physio and so on. He's got a long, difficult road ahead, and he'll need all the support he can get." He looked at Harriet, then to the rest of the group, getting nods of understanding in return. "He'll have it," AJ assured him quietly, confidently. The doctor met AJ's firm gaze and nodded. "Alright. Now I suggest you all go home, or to your hotels and get some sleep. You all look like hell." They all managed slight smiles at the doctor's good natured ribbing. Nodding, the man left back the way he came, no doubt checking up on Bud in recovery. Suddenly Harriet gasped. "Oh no, I forgot all about Mikey and Bud's father." "Don't worry about it Harriet," AJ began. "I'll call them. You just-" "Don't even say it, Sir. I'm not leaving him. I'm staying right here." The admiral looked about to argue, then stopped, sighing. What right did he have to tell a wife she couldn't be near her injured husband? None. "Alright Harriet, but I'm staying with you. I'll just go grab us some coffee and make those phone calls to his brother and father." AJ looked to Harm and Mac. "You too give looking like hell a whole new meaning." They grimaced. Mac was still in her uniform from morning...middle east morning that was. And Harm was still in his flight suit. The same one he was chased by a dirty nuke, then went on a recon mission in. Harm managed a smirk and a small attempt at joking. "I hope we don't look as bad as we smell." Mac rolled her eyes, as the others chuckled. "You do," AJ assured them, a hint of affection in his gaze. "Why don't you two head to the nearest hotel, and take little AJ with you." The partner's looked ready to argue, but AJ's well being curbed their decision, and they just nodded, standing. Bobbi, Jason and Sturgis stood as well, knowing there was nothing more they could do here for the night. "I can drive you Sir, Ma'am," Jason offered. "It's Harm and Mac, Jason, and that'd be great thanks," Mac replied, as they both realized they didn't have their vehicles here. They'd taken the helo straight to Bethesda from the airport. Sturgis spoke up, gathering his jacket and Bobbi's purse. "Bobbi and I are going to head back to DC, Sir. We'll come by tomorrow afternoon to check up. Tiner, you want us to wait for you and follow you back?" "No thanks, Sir. I've got a friend in Bethesda I'll stay with tonight. I have tomorrow off as well and I'd like to visit Lieutenant Roberts." AJ looked at the young man with carefully concealed fondness. He was a good kid. Harriet didn't bother hiding her affection. She stepped forward, wrapping the slightly embarrassed Petty Offier in a tight hug. "Thank you, Jason, that's very sweet of you." Tiner just smiled shyly, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "No problem, Ma'am." ************** The Next Evening... 0134 ZULU MAC'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, VIRGINIA Mac smiled, as she leaned against the arch between her kitchen and living room. Harm was stretched out on her couch, their godson perched on his stomach, absently petting his Teddy Bear as the two of them watched Aladdin. AJ was staying with them for a few days, as Harriet wanted to stay with Bud, but didn't want AJ being stuck at the hospital the whole time. The two had agreed to look after him as long as need be. They would drop him off at daycare before work, pick him up after and make the drive up to Bethesda so he could visit his parents. They would then drive back to Mac's where he would spend the night and begin the routine all over again the next day. Harriet had been unsure at first. She was afraid he would get homesick, and start missing them. He did indeed miss his parents, even after the first day, but he adored his godparents, who spoiled him rotten, so he was quite content for the time being. At first, Mac had offered to look after him herself, telling Harm he didn't have to stay over if he didn't want to. (They'd agreed he'd be better off at her place, since it was a safer neighbourhood and she had a TV) However, he had insisted that they were both his godparents, so they would both look after him, together. Unless of course she didn't want him staying over... /Yeah right,/ Mac had thought but had simply smiled saying, "of course I don't...not want you to, that is. I was just giving you an oppurtunity..." "To what? Run? Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm just as dedicated to him as you are," he replied, slightly hurt by the supposed assumption. Mac was quick to reassure. "That's not what I meant, Sailor." "What did you mean?" he asked, quietly. "Let's not start this here. I don't want to fight, especially in front of AJ, so let's just drop it. You go make us some dinner, unless you want me to whip up some Kraft Dinner." Harm made a face, deciding to drop the subject for now. The look on his face got a giggle from both Mac and AJ. So Mac went about entertaining AJ while Harm made some grilled cheese sandwhiches, and chicken soup. Not his usual gormet style, but he didn't get to be the Navy's top lawyer by being an idiot. No toddler was gonna eat some fancy cuisine, especially one consisting mainly of steamed vegeatables...nor was Mac for that matter. After they'd eaten, Mac had shooed both boys out of the kitchen to allow her to clean up. "You cooked, so I'll clean. Go put a movie on for the little guy, and I'll join you when I'm done." Now as she stood watching them, she was filled with both warmth and heartache. This was what she wanted, this family atmosphere. A husband, cuddled with their son, watching cartoons. She had it now, but it wasn't real. AJ wasn't her son, and Harm was NOT her husband. She sighed, causing Harm to twist his head around to look at her, concern evident. "You okay?" Pushing her emotions to the back, she put a smile on her face saying, "what? I'm not allowed to sigh without raising suspision of impending doom?" Harm rolled his eyes at her theatrical response, turning back to the movie. "You watch to much TV, Marine." Mac just shook her head, and settled herself in the chair beside the sofa. Her thoughts drifted from the movie to their visit with Bud. They'd left the hotel that morning and after getting breakfast had headed straight for the hospital. They'd learned upon their arrival that Bud was awake and coherent. They allowed AJ in to see his father first, then the partners had gone in. They'd found AJ perched on his mother's lap, talking animatedly to his father who had a forced smile on his pale face. The younger man had looked up to see his friends in the doorway, nodding politely. "Ma'am, Sir..." Harm had frowned playfully, "Bud, how many times have we told you. Off duty, it's-" "Mac and Harm, sorry." "Don't apologize, just get it right," Mac teased with a smile. Bud hadn't returned the smile, just nodded again. They spent the next few hours there, going in and out, as they were only allowed a certain amount of time with him before the doctor insisted he rest. Each time, he seemed more and more despondent, only talking when spoken too. Mac wanted to chalk it up to shock and exhaustion, but she knew better. It had already started. Bud wasn't going to deal with this lightly. No one should, but she wasn't sure if he was even going to deal with it at all. Any talk of rehab or physio, Bud seemed to drift off, never paying attention. Mac sighed. They'd left that afternoon, with a promise to visit tomorrow after work. Bud seemed relieve to see them and his son go. He'd even suggested Harriet go with them. Of course she had refused. /Good girl,/ Mac had thought. /Don't let him push you away./ Now, as she sat here looking at her partner and her godson, she wandered how long and how far Bud was going to push away all the people who loved him...his son included. *********** As the movie credits rolled, Mac stood, taking in her sleeping charges. Harm was fast asleep, one arm behind his head, the other wrapped around the three year old, who's face was buried in his chest. Mac smiled softly. What a picture. Not wanting to, but knowing she had to, she carefully bent, and attempted to lift AJ into her arms. Even in his sleep however, Harm was protective, and he woke instantly, tightening his hold on the little boy, who didn't stir. Upon seeing his partner's amused face, Harm loosened his hold, and stretched, yawning. "How long have I been asleep?" "Not long. Somewhere around Aladdin's trip to the snowy north." Harm just rolled his aquamarine eyes and stood, as Mac lifted AJ into her arms. "Where's he gonna sleep?" he asked, quietly so as not to wake the boy. "With me I guess...or you maybe," Mac answered softly. Harm raised his eyebrows. "Mac, isn't the reason you woke us up cause you don't want him falling off me onto the floor, or me rolling off onto him?" "Well that and you don't fit on that couch, Sailor. I meant you two could have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." Harm was already shaking his head. "Mac, I'm not pushing you out of your own bed." "And I'm not letting you sleep on that couch. It would kill your back. It's no good to sleep on for anyone, let alone someone who's 6'4"." "Since we're obviously not going to agree about that, do you have another suggestion?" Harm asked, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Mac looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "We'll share the bed, Sailor. You on one side, me on the other, AJ in between. Think we can handle that?" Harm looked at her for a moment, before shrugging and saying, "we've done it before without the kid, so I suppose so." Mac rolled her dark chocolate eyes, secretly pleased. "Glad you approve." Harm, who was equally pleased, just smirked. ************ For the next few weeks, Harm and Mac played the part of parents, enjoying it immensly, but tiring more and more. Having not been able to recover from the Kabir incident, as well as the constant travelling back and forth, the late nights with AJ when he got homesick, the big cases coming in, and the stress of Bud's condition, both physical and emotional, things were taking a toll on the partners. However, they knew Harriet and Bud had it worse, so they sucked it up, and plowed ahead, once again running on adrenaline. The few hours of sleep they did get when AJ settled, were peaceful and restful. The two had grown accustomed to sleeping together, and even woke a few times in each other's arms, AJ sleeping quietly amongst the tangled limbs. At first they'd been embarrassed, but their friendship was strong, so they shrugged it off. They came to enjoy the mornings where the three of them lay in bed for a few minutes, Harm tickling AJ, who tried to crawl under Mac for protection. Mac was at her most content during these times, allowing herself to forget that it this wasn't real. That it wouldn't last. Harm found himself having similar thoughts. It felt so right, waking up with Mac in his arms, then lying in bed with her, goofing around with a toddler. /So,/ he thought to himself one morning. /This is what having a family feels like./ With a smile, he carefully calculated how many days it was until AJ's 5th birthday... He couldn't wait. ************ 3 Weeks After The Accident 2038 ZULU JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA Mac and Harm looked up from their case file resting on Harm's desk, as there came a hesitant knock on his office door. They both smiled upon seeing Harriet standing in the doorway in civvies. She was to start back at work tomorrow, as she'd finally decided Bud was okay on his own at the hospital. He'd been okay for a while, but Harriet hadn't wanted to allow him an oppurtunity to push her away. So, she'd asked for stress leave and stayed at the hospital with him day and night. Tomorrow she would return home, and AJ in turn could as well. Mac and Harm were a little sad to have their temporary family broken up, but niether said so. Mostly, they were both just secretly sorry that they wouldn't be waking up beside each other anymore. "Hey, Harriet? How are you? How's Bud today?" Mac asked, a cheerful smile on her pretty face. Like clockwork, Mac and Harm hadn't failed to take AJ up to Bethesda everyday after work. Bud didn't say much to them, he didn't even really say much to AJ, but he did attempt a smile for his son, and at least pretended to listen to the toddler talk about how much fun he was having with Aunt Mac and Uncle Harm. At Mac's friendly questioning, Harriet sighed. "He's fine. Same as always, and that's what I'm hear to talk to you guys about. Well, mainly you Colonel." At their questioning looks, she continued. "He hasn't gotten worse, but he hasn't gotten better. I mean I know he's going to be fine, but that's just it. He hardly talks, and only then to answer questions and to say he's fine. That's it. 'I'm fine, Honey'," she mocked in clear frustration. "It's like he's in this funk, this robot-like mode. He doesn't seem to care about anything. I mean, they want to start him on physio, you know, get his rehab going, but he just doesn't seem to care. He doesn't even want to try, and I can't get through to him, and I just don't know what to do anymore." Harriet now had tears in her eyes and she took a deep breath after her verbal tirade. "I'm sorry," she finished, meekly. Mac smiled sympathetically, going around to shut Harm's door. "It's okay, Harriet. You obviously needed to vent and that's what Harm and I are here for." Harriet gave them a watery, but sincere smile. "That and taking care of my son. I can't thank you two enough for that. I'm sure you'll be glad to get rid of him tomorrow evening." "Are you kidding?" Harm asked. "He's our godson, Harriet. We love the little tyke and we love having him around. Don't ever think he's a burden to us." Mac nodded, adding, "Harm's right Harriet, and as for Bud...well, specifically me you said? What did you want me to do?" Harriet sighed. "I don't know what exactly you can do Ma'am, but I was hoping maybe you could talk to him, as a friend, as a Marine, as someone who's had their own share of struggles... I just... I don't know. I just have this feeling that you could open him up, get him to confront what's going on inside that head of his..." She paused, but before Mac could answer, she added quickly. "If you're not comfortable Ma'am, I'd understand. I mean-" "Harriet, calm down. I'll do it. I'll TRY to talk to him, but I don't know if it'll do anything, except get him angry at me." "Oh, he couldn't get angry at you, Ma'am. You know Bud's very fond of you. Both of you mean so much to him. I just believe you can get through to him, Ma'am. You're his friend, his mentor, but also his superior. You've ALWAYS been very honest with him. With me, I don't think he believes I can be totally honest with him. That I'd want to protect him first and foremost, and he's afraid to unload on me. He's trying to protect me and AJ in his own way." Harriet gave a heavy sigh as she finished. "I'm desperate." Mac smiled. "Take it easy, Harriet. Harm and I will bring AJ up to see him this afternoon. When we get there, you and Harm can take AJ for some Jello or something and I'll try talking to Bud. If that doesn't work I'll force him to listen, and if he doesn't listen, I'll kick his ass, okay?" Harriet smiled a real smile at Mac's attempt to lighten the situation. "Thank you, Ma'am, and Sir...for everything." "What are friends for?" Harm responded simply. ***************** 2346 ZULU BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL BETHESDA, MARYLAND Mac stood before her friend and comrade with a gentle expression on her face. So far no luck on getting him to talk, but she didn't want to abandon her cool just yet. "Please Bud, you've got to talk to someone." "What are you talking about Ma'am, I'm fine." That was probably the hundreth time he'd stated as much, but this time, Mac noted, there was an angry, frustrated edge to his voice. She decided to push a little further, where she had the feeling the root of the problem might be. His wife and child. "Then why are you trying to push your wife and son away?" "I'm not," he replied, none to convincing as he avoided her concerned gaze. "Don't lie to me Bud Roberts. I'm your friend and your superior, I-" Bud cut her off, his voice growing cold. "Then as my friend, respect my wishes for you to drop the subject, and as my superior...it's none of your businesss...Ma'am." /Well now we're getting somewhere,/ she thought. "Yes, it is." "Escuse me?" Bug's eyes narrowed, but Mac bore on. "You heard me, Lieutenant. Maybe not as a superior does it concern me, but you're not only hurting yourself, who I care very much about, but also your wife, who happens to be like a sister to me, and your son, who is also MY godson." By now her voice had raised a few notches, as she attempted to get her point across. Bud was quick to retaliate. "I'm not hurting them by pushing them away, COLONEL. I'd be hurting them by being around!" This last part was shouted. Normally, the Bud Roberts she knew would be appalled by his behavior, shouting at a senior officer and, well, just her. He never raised his voice to his friends. Neither noticed though, as both realized he had confessed. Mac looked concerned, while Bud looked angry. "You really believe that, Bud?" she asked, softly. "YES!" he shouted. Now that he was on a roll, he couldn't seem to stop. He wanted to yell, scream and cry. Why didn't they understand? He was the husband, the father, the one who took care of them. They shouldn't have to babysit him. He would be a burden, a nuisance. No good to his wife, when she needed a lightbulb changed, and no good to his son, who all too soon would want to join a baseball team. What good was a one legged father for practice? He told his Marine friend all this, shouting angrily at her. "Bud-" "Don't tell me it's not true, Colonel. I may be a cripple, but I'm not an idiot." Mac's eyes narrowed, and her voice rose with each statement as she railed into the young lieutenant. "Well I'd never accused you of being an idiot until this very moment, Lieutenant. First of all, none of those things should matter, if you love your wife and child as much as they love you. You deal with it together, the way a family should. Secondly, you're letting your own self pity cloud your mind of any logic. This isn't 1902, Lieutenant. They have new, improved ways for amputees to get around. Prosthetics that are so updated, they could almost pass for real limbs. Granted you've got a long road to recovery ahead of you, but don't you give me that bullshit about forever or EVER being a burden to your family OR your friends for that matter. We're here for you too Lieutenant, whether you like it or not. Now quit being so damn selfish, and think of your wife and child. They need you to get up off your ass, and start TRYING. They don't need your protection from you and your so called disability, they need YOU! So grow up, and get back on your feet!" "Don't you mean FOOT, Ma'am," Bud, hissed back, her words entering his brain, but not registering as they would at a later time, when he would regret his next ones he shouted back in anger. "And you really shouldn't be the one to talk about being selfish, about needing to grow up and get on with it, my FRIEND." Mac's eyes widened as he practically sneered the word. "You've had your own bouts of self pity and childish behavior when you got drunk that time years ago, and all in your teen years... You don't think that was selfish? Burying the sorrows of your childhood in the bottle?" A flash of hurt crossed Mac's beautiful features, not missed by Bud, but he didn't let on that he noticed. Swallowing, Mac replied, her voice now quiet. "Fine. You're right. I was selfish...maybe I still am... But I DID get over it. It took a long time, but I'm here aren't I? Caring very much about people other than myself...MORE than myself. But you're a better person than I am, Bud. So, I expect better from you. Don't let it take the loss of a loved one to sober you up from this state of self pity you're in. Please, just let it take the plea from someone who loves you. A lot of people who love you. I finally did it, and I didn't even have the reasons that you do, family and friends that love you so much they stick by your side, they pray for you, they cry for you, they smile for you, despite your cold front... they yell and scream at you, even if it means having lost you as a friend...all in attempt to not lose you completely, to a fate worse than death." She sighed as she finished, then added softly, "you have something special, Bud. That constant, thriving love, need and affection all around you. ...I envy you. Please, don't give it up." That said, Mac turned and left the room, leaving a angry, confused, shameful and utterly lost Bud Roberts behind. ************** Outside the hospital room, Harm, Harriet and AJ had returned from the cafeteria to find Sturgis, Bobbi, Meredith and the admiral all standing in the hall. Just as the trio reached them, the shouting had started, and they'd all exchanged worried glances as the volume grew and their words could be heard. Suddenly Bud could be heard hollering back at their Marine friend, and his words made Harm pale, then grow angry. Harriet gasped, unable to believe her husband could be so cruel. Harm made to go in, but the admiral grabbed his arm. "Let her finish, Harm. You're here when she comes out," he stated softly. Harm nodded, as there was silence inside. They could hear Mac's soft voice, but the words weren't clear. Suddenly the door opened and a pale Sarah MacKenzie emerged, running right into Harm's solid form. He caught her by the elbows, and she looked up in surpirse. Harm could plainly see the pain in her dark gypsy eyes. Bud's words had cut deep. "Mac-" he started, his blue-green gaze showing deep concern. She realised immediately that her friends had heard their arguement. She shook her head, her gaze flickering to the others present. "I'm fine...I mean..." she faltered, swallowing. "Except for the fact that the only man in the world who has never hated anybody, now hates me...I'm just fine." She whispered out the last part, and Harm pulled her a few feet away from the others, allowing her to bury her head in his chest and cry softly. The past few weeks had finally taken its toll on the tired Marine, and now that the adrenaline was spent, she had no energy to hide her emotions. It hurt. It hurt too much to hold in. The remark about her past had stung, especially coming from her young friend, but worse yet was the fact that Bud Roberts...kind, gentle, compassionate, Bud Roberts... hated her. ************** The group was shocked and concerned by the blow-up between their two friends and the breakdown of the tough Marine colonel. Harriet Sims-Roberts on the other hand, was just plain appalled, disgusted and down right angry. How could he? Without a word, she handed her son to her CO and marched into her husband's hospital room. "BUD ROBERTS, HOW DARE YOU!" she shouted, tears in her eyes. Bud's head snapped up at his wife's sudden entrance. He winced upon seeing her. She was angry, heartbroken and ready to tear a strip off him. He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. "Oh no you don't, Mister. You've said quite enough, now it's my turn. Everything Mac said is true. She's right. About who you are, what you're doing... She wasn't trying to hurt you Bud, she was trying to get through to you, to help you, to make you understand. AJ and I love you, no matter what, and we need you, no matter what. Not your leg, Bud, YOU! ...though right now, I can barely stand to be in the same room with you. What you said was wrong Bud, very wrong. The colonel was trying to help, she IS helping. You know her and Harm have been taking care of AJ so I could be with you, and they haven't done it out of any sense of duty, but because they're our friends. They love us, they love AJ...they love YOU!" Taking a breath, Harriet sighed deeply, shaking her head in defeat. She continued, her voice now soft. "I will always love you no matter what, so will AJ." She turned to leave and then turned back. "You know you promised Bud... Til death do us part. You're not dead, Sweetheart. You lived...you weren't taken away from us, so please don't leave us now." After Harriet left, the events of the past half hour came crashing down around him, and tears slipped down his cheeks. How could he have said those things to the colonel? She was one of his dearest friends. And selfish? What was he thinking? The colonel was the least selfish person he knew. '...they yell and scream at you, even if it means having lost you as a friend.' She'd give up a friend, all in attempt to save him from himself. "What have I done?" he asked himself quietly, the tears still flowing. 'they need you... ...I envy you. ...don't give it up...' His thoughts immediately went to Harriet. 'What you did was wrong... I'll always love you... We need YOU, not your leg...YOU! ....always love you... don't leave us...' 'You're a better person than I am. ...I expect better from you...' Wiping his eyes, Bud Roberts made a decision. He'd let the colonel down. He wouldn't do it again. The next day, Bud started his rehab, a determination born of guilt, purpose and love. *********** One Month Later... 1539 ZULU JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA Mac smiled to herself as she and her partner exited the courtroom and headed towards the bullpen. He'd just beaten her in court, but she didn't care. He had been so great the past month, spending more time with her, trying to convince her that all was not lost in her friendship with Bud. The young lieutenant would be returning to part time duty at JAG in less then a month, taking up residence in his old office, much to Singer's chargrin. He'd been home from the hospital already for about a week. Harm and Mac had gone over for supper (Harriet had invited them in hopes of Mac and Bud patching things up), but little to nothing had been said between the two. Mac, too afraid to cause any more damage, and Bud to unsure of himself and what to say. As they entered the bullpen, they were suprised to see the SecNav and Admiral Boone standing outside the admiral's office, chatting. From the looks of things, it was a social call. /Probably about the Marine/Navy charity ball next week,/ Mac thought, with a grimace. Good things had not happened the last time she went to any sort of ball, as memories of Mic's unexpected arrival not so many years ago came to mind. The partners continued side by side, about to turn into Harm's office when the admiral caught sight of them. "Rabb. MacKenzie," he called, motioning them over. The two shared a look, knowing they were about to be told of their required attendance to the upcoming social event. It would not only bring positive press for the Navy for being a charity event, but also for having JAG's own heroes from the Kabir incident present. Mac knew Sturgis, and Bud, despite not yet having returned to his duties, would be ordered into attending as well. "There goes my weekend," Mac whispered to her friend. This earned her a quizzical look, to which she replied, "I was planning on relaxing this weekend." "The ball isn't til next Friday," Harm whispered back, as they made their way toward their CO and his companions. "Yes," Mac said slowly, her tone like that of a mother talking to her dim-witted child. "But I need a dress." Harm frowned. "You've got dresses," he argued back. "Old ones. You can't where an old dress to a fancy ball." Harm gave her a surprised then smug look, before replying with a flyboy grin. "You are SUCH a woman." "Thanks for noticing," she bit back, as they came to a halt before their superiors. They quickly came to attention, but were at once waved at ease. "Commander, Colonel, I assume you are prepared for the Marine/Navy charity ball next Friday..." the admiral said, getting right to the point. The partners shared a look that did not go unnoticed by the three older men. "Almost," Harm replied, turning back to them, a smirk on his handsome face. "Do you always consult each other before answering a simple question?" Admiral Boone asked, with a smirk of his own. Mac and Harm looked perplexed. "Sir?" they asked in unison. "Tell me you didn't just have a little silent conversation there," he continued, challenging them to deny it. "Well we, uh-" Mac started but Harm finished. "We were just discussing the ball, Sir. I'm ready, but apparently the Marine is not." Mac gave him a withering look which he ignored. "Oh?" The admiral looked at Mac, eyebrows raised, a mirthful glint in his eye. Mac fought the urge to roll her eyes. Harm continued. "Yeah, she needs a new dress, cause the old ones are too five minutes ago." Mac swung her gaze back to her partner. With a sweet smile she said quite matter of factly, "you're an ass." This caused the two admirals to laugh, and even the SecNav to smirk. It was nice to see someone other than a superior put Rabb in his place. Apparently MacKenzie did it often and well. Harm was about to reply when a three year old bundle of energy slammed into his legs, nearly toppling the tall Navy commander. "Oof," he exclaimed, steadying himself, then breaking out into a grin upon seeing his godson smiling up at him. "Hey there, little man! Where did you come from?" he asked the youngster, who had his arms wrapped around the lawyer's long legs. "Momma and Daddy bwought me. Said they gonna visit, an dat I could come too. Said yous and Aun Macs miss me." Mac, who had brightened upon seeing her godson, answered as she crouched down beside him. "You bet we did, Baby. Now come here and give me a kiss." AJ giggled and threw himself into his Aunt Mac's arms, sharing a sound kiss on the lips with her. Harm grinned at the scene, before bending down and swooping his godson up into his arms and high above his head. "Did you miss us?" he asked the squealing three year old. Admiral Boone raised his eyebrows in amusement as not only the two lawyers forgot the presence of himself and the SecNav, but the JAG as well. Admiral Chegwidden had visibly brightened upon the arrival of his namesake and was now next to Rabb, chatting away with the little boy about his stay with his godparents and his new preschool. All attention was diverted as there were choruses of, "Lieutenant!" and "Welcome Back. Good to see you, Sir!" heard around the bullpen. The small group, including little AJ turned to see Bud and Harriet making their way slowly across the bullpen, Bud in a wheel chair, as he still tired easily from the effort of walking. It took them a while to reach the group, as Bud had to stop for greetings from his many friends and co-workers. When they finally reached them, little AJ cried out. "Daddy, look, I found Aun Mac and Unka Harm!" Still unable to meet the colonel's eyes, Bud looked directly at his son, and smiled. "I see that. You didn't interrupt them, did you AJ? Mommy and I told you to be quiet and behave yourself." Unwilling to get his godson into any trouble, Harm smiled, saying, "No problems, Bud. He was the perfect gentleman." Harriet shared a look with Mac, who grinned, rolling her eyes. "Always covering their own," Mac said knowingly, drawing a confused look from her partner. "Huh?" he said, intelligently. "Children always band together for the greater good of covering their butts." The others chuckled while Harm frowned playfully upon recognizing the insult. "We resent that...don't we Buddy?" he asked the little boy, still happily perched in his arms. AJ just giggled. He didn't understand how Mac was teasing Harm, but he always could tell when she was, and he never ceased to find it quite funny. Harm grinned, shaking his head. "Brat!" Bringing his officers back to reality, AJ cleared his throat, then said with a sincere smile, "Well, well. Nice to see you back where you belong, Bud, but you're not back on duty for another few weeks." "I know, Sir. This is just a social visit, and AJ really wanted to see his godparents." The SecNav and Admiral Boone looked at Mac and Harm in surprise. "You two are the boys godparents?" the SecNav asked. Harm nodded, laughing as Mac reached over and tickled little AJ, causing the boy to giggle and squirm. He returned his attention to his superiors, eyebrows raised at them. "What? You don't think we'd be able to take care of a toddler?" Admiral Boone shrugged. "The colonel, undoubtedly, I'm sure she'd be great." Mac looked surprised and pleased at the comment. Her and Boone had never been close, despite their tie through Harm. The admiral chose not to notice her look and continued. "However, with all the trouble you get into on your own, I never pictured you with kids...looks good on you though, Harm." Harm smirked. "First of all, Mac gets into just as much trouble as me...admittedly more when I'm around, but she's hardly innocent." Mac frowned, mocking insult at his comment, but her frown turned into a smile as AJ made a silly face, then blew her a kiss. "But uh, what can I say, I love kids." "I can tell. I'm almost waiting for the baby talk to start here," Boone teased, as Harm tickled little AJ's belly, then pulled the toddler closer, kissing his forehead, before handing him to Mac. "Anyway, is there anything else we can do for you, Sirs?" Remembering why he'd called them over, AJ looked to address Bud and Harriet as well. "Just a reminder of the charity ball next week. Dancing is not required. Attendance and proper attire is." He gave Bud a look that said he wouldn't pressure him, but his attendance would be VERY, VERY much appreciated. Bud smiled, nodding. Mac turned to Harriet, AJ still in her arms. "I don't suppose you're free to dress shop this weekend?" Harriet looked sincerely regretful. "I'm afraid not Ma'am. My family is visiting for the weekend, though believe me I'd rather spend my Saturday with you at the mall." Harm and Bud rolled their eyes. "Listen to you two. You sound like two teenage girls, getting ready for the prom," Harm teased, with a Flyboy grin. Mac rolled her eyes, while Harriet got a mischievous grin. "Well, since I can't go with you, that leaves the position open for the next entitled candidate. Commander, as the colonel's best friend, I believe you're required to take over dress shopping duty." Harm's eyes widened. "What? How do you figure?" "Those are the rules, Sir." "What is there a manual on friendship that I don't know about?" Mac, though secretly thinking of the fun she'd have dress shopping with Harm, took pity on him. "Take it easy, Flyboy. I wouldn't dream of putting a squid through that kind of strenuous work." Harm raised his eyebrows, as did the other gentlemen of the Navy profession. "Work?" Mac grinned. She wasn't going to force him to join her, but no way was she gonna let him off the hook without a good teasing session. "You can barely keep up to me in the field, what makes you think you could keep up to Marine on a shopping spree." Harm grinned. "A Marine on a shopping spree? Now there's something I have to see." "Then it's settled," Harriet cut in. "You'll go." Both Harm and Mac looked at Harriet in amusement. Mac opened her mouth to protest, but Harm interrupted her. "No, Mac. That's fine, I'll go with you. It'll just mean that you'll owe me." Mac looked at him warningly. "Harm, the last time we went shopping together, you were practically stamping your feet in impatience to leave, and that was only grocery shopping." Harm threw up his hands. "How long could it take to pick out a slab of dead cow?" Harriet, sharing a look with Mac, spoke up innocently. "Sir, it's not that simple. You have to keep the best before date in mind, the quality, the weight, the price-" She stopped at Harm's partially stern look. "I get the point, Lieutenant." She just smiled, winking at Mac. "ANYWAY..." the admiral stressed, giving his officers a stern glance. "Rabb and MacKenzie, back to work. Bud, Harriet, make the rounds, but try to avoid these two again. I'd like some work to get done." "Aye, Sir," they replied, with bright smiles. Admiral Boone and the SecNav watched in partial amusement, and partial awe, as the tall, proud Navy commander bent to softly kiss his godson's forehead. Seeing the commander with the child was almost touching, and if they weren't gruff old men they'd be misty eyed at the tender display. Mac, after kissing her godsons forehead as well, carefully handed AJ over to Harriet and the two partner's quickly saluted their superiors before heading back to their offices. They both had piles of paperwork to do if they wanted to be free on the weekend to dress shop. *********** That Saturday... 2152 ZULU RANDOM DRESS SHOP WASHINGTON, DC Harm sighed for what felt like the millionth time since this whole charade had started. He'd picked Mac up in his Corvette at 0900 sharp that morning...okay, well maybe more like 0919 sharp, but close enough. Things had started out fine. They'd grabbed some breakfast at a small cafe outside central DC, before heading to the closest mall. Now, nearly eight hours later, she still hadn't found a dress, and his feet and back were killing him. Lord knew, he enjoyed seeing Mac in the many different array of gowns she tried on...many with no back, high slits and low neck lines, but a guy could only take so much of this all day shopping deal. He'd been in more dress shops than he could count, been ogled by more women then he cared to try and count, and been pestered by more salespeople than he knew existed...how many people had to offer help to one poor guy, standing in a dress shop with his best friend, who by the by, took no pity on his predicament. Mac was once again in the fitting room, having grabbed three dresses to try on and model for Harm. The first two, like all the others, he had insisted she looked great in. She however, had turned around to look at herself in the mirror, hands on her hips, saying, "I don't know..." Harm mentally prepared himself for another session of indecision as the dressing room door opened once again and his partner emerged. This time however, before he could utter, 'beautiful Mac, I think you should get that one', his jaw dropped, as he fully took in the vision standing before him. In all the other gowns, she had, as always, looked drop dead gorgeous...in Harm's opinion she could wear a paper bag and still look gorgeous, and it had nothing to do with how little the bag would cover. This gown however, left him breathless. It was like something out of a fairy tale. The color was a shimmering aquamarine, that set of her olive toned skin and dark features. The top was tight, flattering her full breasts and slim waist. With split sleaves, the material loose around the neckline, just resting on the tips of her slim shoulders, the front and back drooping down in the loose material fashion. The skirt was long, hugging the lush curve of her hips, then flowing out gracefully, to the floor. Like a princess, she was exquisite. Glorious. Breathtaking. He could think of a million different adjectives, none fully doing her justice. All he come up with aloud was, "wow!" Mac blushed at his blatant response, and his obvious approval as his eyes ran up and down her figure. Feeling a little self concious, she crossed her arms over her chest, and asked meekly, "it looks okay?" "Okay? Are you kidding me? Geez Mac, you look...wow!" Mac smiled shyly. "You said that already," she said softly, rubbing her bare arms. Harm smiled at her sudden timidness. This Marine would never cease to amaze him. She turned from him to look at herself in the mirror, running her hands down her sides, smoothing imaginary wrinkles. Standing, he came up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Seriously Mac, I'm not saying this cause I'm so sick of shopping I think I'll hire someone to do my groceries for the next year." Mac laughed softly, quieting as Harm continued, voice soft and sincere. "It's perfect, Sarah. Definately the one to get. And since we're going together, I think I should have a say in what you wear." Mac raised her eyesbrows, meeting his gaze in the mirror. "Oh really, we're going together are we? How do you know I don't have some hot date?" Harm grinned, looking very much the cocky Tomcat pilot he would always be. "I know you do. Me." Mac laughed, replying. "Gee, you're such a romantic. I know I'm only your best friend, but can't you do better than that?" /You're more than my best friend,/ he thought, but didn't voice as much. Now wasn't the time. There were to many other things to worry about right now, like her friendship with Bud. He was determined to help his friends work things out between them. Instead he just shrugged, saying, "I'll work on it." Mac, still smiling, rolled her eyes, content to leave it at that. She didn't expect much from her partner anymore when it came to a chance at intimacy. It saved her from getting her hopes dashed time and time again. They were friends. Best friends. That was enough for her...it would have to be. Looking back up, she met his eyes again, as he still stood behind her, staring at her with those amazing eyes of his. His eyes. She looked at her dress, then back up at his eyes. "Hey Flyboy, I'm glad we're going together. We match." Harm looked at her, plainly puzzled. She laughed at his expression, then filled him in. "This dress, Sailor. It matches your eyes." Harm frowned thoughtfully. "My eyes are that color?" Mac nodded with a sweet smile. "Yep...beautiful, huh?" At her words, Harm blushed. He'd had people comment on his eyes before, mostly women telling him he had "nice eyes", but having his partner and best friend pretty much tell him his eyes were beautiful was...different. It actually meant something. It was a real honest compliment from the woman he loved. "You think so?" he asked quietly, voice rough. Mac smiled at his obvious discomfort. Her partner could be cocky as hell, but sometimes, she knew, he wasn't all that sure of himself. She knew part of him knew he was attractive...he got plenty of compliments...but most were from lucid women, who's eyes rarely met his because they were everywhere else. He sometimes felt more like a piece of meat, than an attractive man with other attributes. Mac's compliment was honest and real, and had nothing to do with any sexual attraction. "I do," she answered him, softly and sincerely. He met her gaze through the mirror once again and smiled almost shyly, no hint of his usual arrogance whatsoever. "Thanks." ************ Next Friday... 0132 ZULU NAVY/MARINE CHARITY BALL ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA Harm smiled down at his partner as they danced slowly around the ballroom. She was even more breathtaking than when he'd seen her try on the dress the Saturday before. Now, with her hair up in a twist, bangs brushed across her forehead, the tiny jewel pins holding her hair glittering, making the princess aura even more evident, she was... Well, he didn't think a word existed to describe her, as the rest of the ball attendants seemed to agree. When the two had walked in together, arm in arm, they'd made an impressive sight. Harm in his dresswhites, Mac in her gown, wives hadn't bothered scolding their husbands for their blantant staring...they were too busy staring themselves at Harm. Paying no attention to the onlookers, they'd headed straight for the JAG group, who had whistled their appreciation. As the ladies had quickly surrounded Mac, fawning over her dress, Harm had shared a look with Bud. The two men had finally had a heart-to-heart a few nights ago, and Harm had made a suggestion on how Bud could patch things up with Mac...or at least make an attempt to. Harm had assured Bud that Mac very much missed his friendship. What Bud had hurt her, but losing his friendship hurt more. Now, as Harm relished the last few moments of Mac's soft curves tucked against his lean frame, he caught Bud's eyes across the room. The younger man nodded to him before moving off to make a request. Harm selfishly held his partner close down to the last quiet strains of the song, making small patterns on the soft skin of her shoulder with the tips of his fingers. Brushing his cheek against her dark, silky hair, he breathed in the delicate mixture of her shampoo and perfume. He couldn't get enough of her, but the song was finished, and his duty as a friend took over. Pulling away, Harm casually suggested Mac and him grab a drink before continuing. Mac agreed, and the two left the dance floor. Returning to their friends, Mac was sipping at her punch when Bud approached her. She looked up, meeting his pale blue gaze for the first time since their blow-up. He was smiling shyly. She offered a timid smile back. All activity nearby stopped as the JAG crew recognized the significance. They were all well aware of the tension between the two for the past month or so. Harm gave them all a stern glare, and they quickly returned to their conversations, sneaking peaks and straining ears to witness the unfolding event. "How are you, Bud?" Mac managed to ask, setting her cup down. Bud took a deep breath, then said bravely and sincerely. "Alright Ma'am...well, better than alright, thanks to this really great friend that I had...that I lost...because I was an idiot." Mac looked down at the table cloth, saying softly, "you never lost me, Bud. You're still my friend...our relationship has just been a little...strained...as of late." Bud smiled wryly. "A little? I think this is the most we've said to each other in over a month." Mac just smiled. She had nothing to say to that, it was sadly true. Taking another breath as a new song began, he held out his hand to her. "Would you do me the honour of a dance, Colonel? I'm a little rusty, but I had a good teacher." He looked at her meaningfully and she smiled, then frowned in concern. "Bud, should you be dancing?" He shrugged, taking her hand. "I think I can manage one, it won't kill me and it'll be well worth it." Mac looked genuinely concerned. "Bud, I don't want you to hu-" Bud gave her a patented puppy dog look, something he'd undoubtedly picked up from Harm over the years. "Please?" Sighing, Mac smiled affectionately at him. "I'd love to, Lieutenant." They were both quiet as they began dancing to the song that was now playing. Mac's quickly recognized the tune, and her eyes met Bud's. "Is this just coincedense or..." Bud shook his head. "I requested it." He paused, gathering courage before continuing. "I can tell you a million times over how sorry I am, but I don't know if I could ever really express how much and why. You know I'm not very good with stuff like this, always blubbering and bumbling and..." He sighed, but continued on. "You're a very special person, Mac." To say she was surprised by Bud's use of her name, and not her rank, or 'Ma'am' would've been an understatement, but she was to caught up in what he was saying to react. "You're one of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. You've always been there for me, whether I wanted you there or not, and always when I needed you. What you did at the hospital that day, took a lot of sacrifice on your part. ...You saved me. What I said was wrong. I didn't mean it, I was angry, scared and confused. I thought I was going to lose everything, and I almost did from being so stupid and selfish. Thanks to you, I didn't. You're the most unselfish person I know, and I never want to lose your friendship. If you can forgive me, I want to make it up to you somehow. Will you give me a chance, Ma'am?" Mac was stunned, to say the least. Finally she whispered out, tears in her eyes, "I thought you said you were no good at this stuff?" Bud couldn't help as his own eyes got misty. "Is that a 'Yes, I'll give you a chance, Bud?'" Giving a watery laugh, Mac nodded, pulling Bud into a tight embrace which he readily returned. "Bud, you don't need a chance. There's nothing to forgive you for. I understand that you were hurting and confused. I'm just so glad I didn't lose your friendship over it." "Never," he said, voice wavering with emotion. They were still locked in a hug, the JAG crew looking on with wide grins. "But Ma'am, you were wrong about one thing." Pulling back, Mac looked at him curiously saying, "well, I've wrong about a lot of things, Bud. Do you mind narrowing it down?" He smiled, squeezing her hand. "You said I was a better person than you are. You were wrong. I don't think you give yourself enough credit Ma'am. You're an amazing human being, and I am a damn lucky one to have you as a friend. I can only hope one day to be as good of a person as you are. Honestly. Never forget that." This brought a new batch of tears to Mac's eyes, and she pulled him into a hug again as the song they'd barely been dancing to, came to a close. "Thank you, Bud." Bud just smiled, singing the last line to her as they stood in the middle of the dance floor, embracing. "That's what friends are for..." The End AN: Okay, so that last bit was kind of corny, but I couldn't resist. If you couldn't figure out what song it was, read on...actually read on anyway, to get the significance of Bud's request for it. Also, I'm no med student, so please bare with any inaccuracies of Bud's condition and procedures taken. Lastly, with this fic, Mac and Harm are a lot cozier. I was taking into account Kip's info on Mac and Harm reevaluating their relationship next season, and since it won't be romantic, then it will be on their depth of friendship (in my opinion). Thanks for reading. And I never thought I'd feel this way And as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you And if I should ever go away Well then close your eyes and try To feel the way we do today And then if you can remember Keep smiling, keep shining Knowing you can always count on me, for sure That's what friends are for In good times, in bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for Well you came and opened me And now there's so much more I see And so by the way I thank you And then for the times when we're apart Well then close your eyes and know These words are coming from my heart And then if you can remember Keep smiling, keep shining Knowing you can always count on me, for sure That's what friends are for In good times, in bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for... *Song is "That's What Friends Are For" sung by Elton John, Dionne Warwick, Gladys Knight etc... P.S. I had to use a program without spellcheck, so apologies for any spelling mistakes.