TO BREAK HIM


Author: LeE

e-mail: lee_81881@yahoo.com

Classification: Angst/Romance  H/M

Rating: R

Summary: Palmer has a new plan to make Harm's life
hell. Who will he go after?

Disclaimers: I don't own them. JAG is property of CBS
and DPB. This is just for fun.

Author's Note: Well, here's my first Palmer story. It
took a while to finish, but it's finally done. I'll
post it all within the next week (I hope). 



UNKNOWN LOCATION
MONDAY
2100 EST

He had been watching her every move for weeks now.
Yes, finally. Finally he had exactly what he needed.
This time the great Harmon Rabb, Jr. would have no way
of escaping the torture. His heart would be ripped
from him, his mind would be tampered with, and his
soul would be shattered. Yes, this time, Harmon Rabb,
Jr. will beg to die. This time, finally, Harmon Rabb,
Jr. would break, forever.


JAG HQ
NEXT DAY
0750 EST

"Enter"

"Hey Mac"

"Hey flyboy, you're here early!!! Did you sleep with
your uniform on, or did you fly a Tomcat over the
Beltway?" she said with a teasing smile and a light
tone.

"Very funny, Marine"

"Well, I'm a funny..." he cut her off

"Yes, I know. You're a funny lady"

"Well of course I am" she smiled at him and he could
barely stay on his feet, so he went and sat down
across from her.

"Hey, I was wondering...Are you free for dinner
tonight?" he said squirming a little on his chair, an
action that did not go unnoticed by Mac. Oh, she was
going to enjoy this one to fullest. God knows he
deserves it.

"What?????!!! Are you asking me out on a date,
Stickboy?"

"Aww, Mac..Come on, don't call me that at the office.
Anyone could hear you and then..."

"Don't change the subject, Squid. You're not getting
out of this one so easy" she answered smiling at him
and trying hard not to straight out laugh at his look
of discomfort. 

"Alright, I can tell when I've been beaten. Listen,
you can call it whatever you want. I just think that I
haven't been spending enough time with my best friend
lately, and I think it would be nice if we could ...."

"Oh my God!! Stop babbling will you? I know what
you're saying. Of course, you wouldn't ask me out on a
date, Harm. I'm not stupid you know?"

His eyes were wide and staring intently into hers.
"Well, that's not what I said. I just meant that...." 

"Harm, calm down. You're not on the stand here, and
frankly, I'd like to know what's got you so jumpy
lately. You've been acting like this around me for a
few weeks. What do you have to say for yourself ha?"
she said, still smiling but a little more serious this
time. 

She didn't want to pressure him into doing or saying
anything. However, she knew that Harm, as any other
member of the opposite sex, was a little slow when it
came to serious things like relationships, even if
what he was referring to was only friendship. 'God I
hope friendship is not all he has in mind' STOP IT!!!
She scolded herself. She knew damn well that Harmon
Rabb didn't like to be cornered. She had learned that
the hard way on a horrible ferry ride in Australia two
years before. 

Harm felt this conversation getting a little too deep
for his own comfort, and he decided to go back to
defensive mode. If she didn't get the hint by now,
then he'd have to try something more extreme, but not
right now. Sarah Mackenzie just threw him for a loop
every time he talked to her, and he had lost his
ability to resist her a long time ago. 

Standing up with a look of resolution on his face he
said, "Well, if you don't want to go then just say so
and I won't keep taking up your time" he finished and
turned around to leave.

"WHOA!! Stop it, right there, Mister. What's wrong
with you Harm? I think I'm missing something here"

He stopped and turned around to look at her once
again. "You're not missing anything here Mac. I just
came in here hoping my best friend would want to spend
some time with me away from work, and she decided to
make use of her cross-examination skills on me" he
finished looking away from her.

She laughed heartily at his words, and when she
noticed his forced smile she sobered up. 

"Alright, Harm. That's enough. Hey, I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to put you on the spot. It's just that
you've been like this for a while now and I wanted to
know what's going on. Anyway, I won't do it again"

"Promise?" he said with a sheepish grin

She smiled. "Promise. Now get out of here before I
decide to use my other skills that have nothing to do
with JAG and more to do with combat training" she said
and smiled as he rolled his eyes at her.

"1900, your place. I'll bring dinner and maybe you can
help me out with a few cases" he finished and left
without another word.

'I wonder what's gotten into him,' she thought. The
rest of the day all she could think about was how much
fun it would be to spend some time with her best
friend. 

UNKOWN LOCATION
Same time

"So, dinner tonight ha? I can't wait to see how this
one works out" Palmer's devilish eyes shone with
excitement as he thought about what lay ahead for his
favorite Navy Commander. "Well, time to get to work.
I've waited enough already" He was sitting on a chair,
in the middle of a room surrounded by monitors. He had
a wonderful view of every corner of the lovely Colonel
Sarah Mackenzie's apartment. He hadn't gone through
the trouble of doing the same at Harm's apartment. He
already had enough footage of Sarah Mackenzie to bring
Harm to his knees. However, that wasn't the fun part.
It would be too easy to just kidnap her, send him the
tapes and then kill her. Because he knew that as soon
as his plan started rolling, Harm would be entirely
helpless, which was worse. If he kidnapped her, Harm
would at least come after her. What he had in mind was
a heck of a lot better. He reached for the phone and
made a quick call, telling the woman on the other end
to meet him at their pre-arranged location to put
their plan in motion. 

MAC'S APARTMENT
1400 EST

She had left work early to get the apartment cleaned
up and ready for her evening with her best friend.
There'd been so many misunderstandings the past two
years, and she hoped tonight could be the start to the
renewal of their friendship and hopefully something
more. He had taken the first step to rectify his
position concerning her when he followed her to the
Guadalcanal. She wasn't ready at the moment to talk,
but it was a start on his part. Then, there was the
Jagathon, and of course, the kiss under the mistletoe.
She had seen fireworks when he kissed her, and she
could sense that it had been the same for him. 

HARM'S APARTMENT
Same time

He was really excited about his evening with Mac.
After all this time they were finally back on track
with their friendship, and hopefully more. He was
tired of beating around the bush, tired of the dance,
as she had called it. He wanted to set things right
once and for all between them and start on that
Eternity he had told her about in Australia. The past
few months had been great. The Jagathon, the kiss
under the mistletoe. Oh, yes, that kiss. It wasn't a
great passionate kiss, like the one the Admiral's
porch, but it was a start, and he had seen heaven when
he felt her lips on his. He couldn't wait for the
evening to come. He was going to do it tonight.
Tonight was the night that Sarah Mackenzie would
finally see the side of him that he didn't show
anyone. Tonight he would wear his heart on his sleeve
for her and he would give her the power of attorney
over his heart and his life. He had to laugh at that.
It sounded funny, but it was the truth, he was finally
ready. Ready to be all he wanted to be for her. "Only
for you, Sarah" he said to an empty apartment. "Only
for you"

The sound of the phone ringing brought him back to the
real world where his fantasies were not reality, yet.
He walked over and picked it up.

"Rabb" he answered 

"Well, well, well. Long time no see, buddy"

"Palmer" he said his voice a whisper. 

"Well, I see you've missed me too. I'm flattered
Commander"

"Stop it Palmer, what do you want?"

"Actually, what I want is very simple, Harm. I want
you to call your lovely partner right now and cancel
your little dinner party tonight"

"What? Are you insane? What are you going to do with
her? Palmer...I'm warning you. If you touch her..."

"Relax, relax. I'm not planning on touching her. Well,
not for now anyway. She IS tempting you know...."

"PALMER!!" he yelled into the phone

"Alright, don't get so upset now. It was just a
thought. I want you on your best behavior Commander"

"Palmer, I promise you, if you hurt her..."

"Actually, Harm. You'll be doing that all by yourself"

A feeling of dread came over Harm as he thought about
what Palmer's words entailed. How could he ever hurt
Mac? What was this psycho planning to do to them?

"What do you mean Palmer?"

"Oh you'll see in time. For now, I want you to call
your lovely Mac. Tell her you can't make it tonight
because something else came up, and wait there for my
next call. Now don't even think of doing anything
stupid. Sarah's apartment is wired and ready to
explode anytime now. You better play nice, Commander"
he finished with an evil laugh.

"What are you going to do Palmer? Leave her alone.
This is between you and me. Leave her out of this"

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. She's already a part
of you, therefore, that means, she's a part of this as
well. Besides, don't be so negative. I think you'll
enjoy this little game. You'll find out a lot of
things you didn't know about the Colonel"

"Palmer...." he said on a warning tone

"Oh shut up already and do what I told you. I'll be in
touch" and with that he hung up and left Harm alone
with his thoughts. Not wanting to risk Mac's life, he
picked up the phone and decided to play along with
Palmer until he could find a way to get to Mac.

He picked up the phone reluctantly and dialed Mac's
number. 

MAC'S APARTMENT
Minutes later

She wouldn't admit it to herself or anyone, but she
was devastated. She had set her hopes on an evening of
friendly banter between her and her best friend. She
was dying to see what Harm would wear. She had picked
out carefully what she would wear, and now it was all
down the drain. 'Next time I'll make HIM come and
clean this place' she thought. Realizing that she was
probably being ridiculous, she went to her bedroom to
change into her pajamas. It was a little early for
that, but she didn't have plans to go anywhere. After
she changed, she settled for watching some TV. She sat
in her living room and tuned into one of those
military shows they had on TV. Great, she thought. Who
would really want to see a TV show about the military,
except military people? There was nothing else
interesting, so she settled for that show and watched
for a while. 

After half an hour, she grew tired of just sitting
doing nothing, so she went to her room and retrieved
her diary from one of her drawers. It was locked, so
she took the key from on of the drawers in the kitchen
and unlocked the little blue book that read "Sarah
Mackenzie's Diary" and started writing.....

HARM'S APARTMENT
Same time

He couldn't believe this. What was Palmer trying to
do? This was just too much for him and he knew it, but
he had to play along until he could find some way to
solve it. He sat in front of his computer and silently
watched Mac move around her apartment. When she
entered her room to change, her figure on the screen
was covered up by a black spot as if covering an R
rated scene from an underage audience. He was relieved
actually, because he felt bad enough for intruding on
her privacy. The last thing he wanted was to take
advantage of her that way. He could still see her
legs, and her head, but the rest was covered. Her face
conveyed disappointment and sadness, and he knew he
was the reason for it. He saw her walk over to her
living room and turn on the TV. She sat there with
Jingo on her lap, and since there were cameras from
every angle in her apartment, he could see what she
was watching on TV, the back of her head, her face,
and he could also see her from the side. 

Different screens showed him different angles of the
whole apartment. He watched slowly as she rose from
the chair and suddenly the audio came on in the
computer. He could now hear everything going on in her
apartment as well as see it. 'Oh my God, what am I
doing?' This was horrible. However, he had no choice. 

Palmer had called him earlier and given him the
address to the website he had setup for Harm to watch
the video feeds from Mac's apartment. It was on the
whole day, but Palmer could control it from where he
was, hence the censoring of the view when she had been
changing. A wave of rage washed over him as he
realized that Palmer was looking at this as well. Just
to think that stupid son of a bitch could see her
completely naked, and apparently had been doing it for
weeks, made his blood boil.

He saw her as she went to her bedroom, took the diary
from one of her drawers and went to the kitchen to
retrieve the key from one of the cabinets there. That
was his Marine, always protective, even of her own
diary. She sat back down at the couch and started
writing. She started writing and reciting what she was
writing at the same time. He couldn't read it, but he
could certainly hear what she was saying. 

<"Dear Diary:

     Today was a good day. Well, most of it anyway.
Harm came to my office today, and we had a nice enough
conversation. You know, for a minute there I thought
he wanted to come tonight so that we could talk a
little. I mean, I don't expect him to flat out declare
his love for me. I know he doesn't love me the way I
love him. Well, I guess I still have a little hope
that maybe he really is in love with me but is still
afraid to tell me. After all, he hasn't started dating
anyone else. I guess I have to live with that, but I'd
much rather have him as a friend than not have him at
all. Anyway, back to our conversation at the office.
He asked if he could have dinner with me tonight. For
a moment I thought he was really asking me out, so I
confronted him. MISTAKE. I should know better than
that. God knows I should've learned my lesson in
Australia, but no, I had to go and do it again. I
cornered him again, and he got scared. I noticed his
discomfort and took advantage of it. He still wanted
to have dinner with me tonight, but I guess he changed
his mind. It's not like I'm not used to it, but it
still hurts to know he's afraid of me. I wish I could
just get to work tomorrow, close the blinds and lock
the door to his office and kiss him until he begged me
to have my way with him.. ha!...what an idea.....">

Harm just sat there speechless. His Jarhead loved him
and she was scared he didn't love her back. "Oh God,
Sarah. What have I done?" Had he really messed up that
bad? Had he really closed himself up so much that she
had doubts about the way he felt for her? 'Did she
forget all the times we saved each other? All the
looks I've given her, the kiss on the Admiral's porch,
how I flew through a storm to keep my promise, or how
I followed her to the Guadalcanal just to talk to
her?' As he thought about all this he suddenly
realized something. He still hadn't seen things from
her point of view. After thinking about it a little
longer realization struck him hard. For every time he
had reached out to her, there had also been a time he
had rejected her. Australia came to mind, and he felt
his insides turn. "I'm an idiot," he mumbled to
himself.

He sat in his apartment and watched her get ready for
bed. He could tell she was exhausted, but the lines of
disappointment and hurt that accompanied the contours
of her face were not lost in him. He fought with
everything he had not to go to her and hold her and
assure her that everything would be all right. He had
no clue what Palmer had planned, but he was sure it
wouldn't be pretty. However, what was awaiting him the
next day he never would've imagined. 

JAG HQ
NEXT DAY
0930 EST

Harm was already in his office by the time Mac
arrived. She was late. He wanted nothing more than to
run to her office, take her in his arms and tell her
everything. He wanted her to know he loved her so much
it hurt. But he knew that he couldn't do anything. Not
until he figured out a way to stop Palmer. He watched
as she walked to her office. The grace that usually
accompanied each step she took was not there today. He
walked over to his door and saw her enter her office,
close the blinds and shut the door.

He noticed Harriet looking at him funny. She could
probably see the dark circles under his own eyes from
the lack of sleep, and his hands were slightly bruised
from punching the wall repetitively the night before.
He heard his office phone ring and was grateful that
it had saved him from Harriet's scrutinizing stare. He
walked over and sat down behind his desk. He sighed
loudly and reached for the phone.

"Rabb" he practically yelled 

"A little jumpy this morning, aren't we?"

"What do you want Palmer?"

"Well, you didn't think this would end just like that
did you? Last night was just the beginning. Now,
listen up and don't interrupt or the pretty Colonel
dies. Actually, her and your Grandma Sarah" 

"What did you do to her?" he demanded

" Calm down now. Do you think I would just let you
walk into the Colonel's office right now and run away
with her? WRONG!! If you make any move, or if you
leave DC at all, your Grandma dies, understood? Don't
bother calling her. She's not home," he laughed as he
finished.

"Palmer. I'm getting sick of this..."

"Shut up, Rabb. Listen. I've sent a little diversion
your way, understood? She will be there at around
1100. Now, she has instructions to make sure your
lovely partner sees and hears all of this" 

"Palmer, I swear when I get my hands on you....." he
stopped when he heard the dead tone on the phone. That
crazy son of a bitch.

It was 1030, and Harm hadn't left his office. He
looked up and saw Mac headed towards him. Oh, no, he
thought. What do I do now?

A knock on the door. 

"Enter," he said in a shaky voice

Mac opened the door and walked in. "Hi"

He didn't look up at her. Instead kept staring down at
his paperwork, trying to find something to delay the
inevitable. 

"Harm, listen. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner this
morning. I'm not mad at you for canceling on me
yesterday okay?"

He looked up and what he saw gave him the chills. The
words came out of her mouth, but resignation was
written all over her face. She tried to smile at him,
but he could read her better than she thought. Of
course, Mac had no idea he had watched everything the
night before. She thought she could fool him, so when
he didn't respond, she continued.

"Harm, look. We are friends, ok? You are my best
friend. I don't want to loose the friendship we've
just found because of a stupid incident. Besides, it's
not like you stood me up. We were just having a
friendly dinner, nothing important" she finished
sounding more determined than she really was. 

She saw the look of amazement on his face and his eyes
wide open staring at her. "Harm, please promise me
that we'll still be friends. I don't want to lose you,
Harm. Promise?"

He nodded absently at her. 

"What was that? I can't hear you!" she tried to
lighten the conversation, just like she had done the
day before.

"Promise" he whispered, still his eyes transfixed on
her.

"Harm, are you okay? You look like you need a nap. Why
don't you go home?"

"Well...."

He was cut off by an annoying voice coming from the
doorway. 

"Hi honey" the obnoxious blonde said as she came
through the door, cell phone in hand, of course. 

Harm just stared at her and then, remembering Palmer's
words rapidly sobered up and spoke. 

"Hi Caroline" he answered, standing up and walking
around his desk. She got closer to him and whispered
something in his ear that chilled him to the bone. 

Mac was feeling pretty uncomfortable and tears welled
up in her eyes. She fought them back, stood up and
squared her shoulders before turning to the couple
that was now standing at the door behind her. She
heard Caroline kiss Harm, on the lips if her hearing
didn't fail her. She didn't turn around to witness it.

"Uh, Mac. You remember Caroline, don't you?" Harm said
looking everywhere but at her.

"Of course I do. Nice to see you again, Caroline" she
answered and nodded towards the blonde who was by now
holding on to Harm's forearm, her paws clinging to his
uniform sleeve.

"Same to you, Mac. Well, I guess we better get going.
Harm here has a picnic in store for us today, and
it'll take us a little more than an hour to finish
everything I have planned for lunch. You know, after
last night, I think I owe you one," she said looking
at Harm seductively.  

Mac felt her blood boil. He had been with her. He lied
to her. How could he do this to her? After everything
they'd been through he had the nerve to show off his
latest acquisition right in front of her. Mac could
tell that Harm was uncomfortable, but of course, she
thought it was because he had lied to her the night
before. The wave of pain that took over her did not go
unnoticed by Harm, but he tried not to think about it.
He needed to do this. He had to do this to keep Mac
safe, for now. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then" Mac said
rapidly making her way in between the two of them and
retreating to her office. 

Harm walked out with Caroline and the bullpen froze.
She was holding on to him very protectively. Harm
seemed uncomfortable, but they didn't notice that. If
there was something everyone was sure about was that
the Commander loved the Colonel, and now he was dating
another woman? Men! 

Once in her office, Mac closed the blinds and shut her
door for the second time that day. She buried her face
in her hands and cried like a baby once again. After
crying her eyes out, she waited until most of the
bullpen was at lunch before heading out. She told
Tiner she needed the afternoon to do some interviews.
She just wanted to go home. She decided to call the
Admiral before leaving. 

"Admiral?"

"Yes"

"It's Colonel Mackenzie, Sir"

"Colonel, what can I do for you?" 

He knew where this was going. He had seen them the day
before talking in her office. He had also seen the
look on both their faces this morning. 'Something
happened, last night.' To top it off, Harm had the
audacity to show off his new girlfriend at the office,
in Mac's face, knowing full well how Mac felt about
him. 

"Uh, Sir...I'm not feeling well...."

"Granted"

"Sir?"

"I know what's going on Colonel. I'm old but not
stupid. Go home, and if you need a couple days to sort
through this let me know. I'll give you leave until
you can return with your head back on straight"

"Uh, Sir...thank you, Sir. I don't think I'll need
leave for now. I just need to go home and rest" 

"As you wish. If you need anything let me know"

"Thank you, Sir. I appreciate it" 

"You're welcome, Colonel. Now go home and get some
rest. We'll see you here tomorrow at 0800 then"

"Aye aye Sir" And with that she hung up the phone and
headed home before Harm walked back in with his
luscious blonde in tow. 

HARM'S SUV
20 minutes earlier

Once they were on the beltway driving away from JAG he
couldn't wait any longer and started.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he raised
his voice at the woman sitting next to him in his car.

"Well, Commander. No need to get all upset about it,
now is there?" 

"Why don't you stop with the formalities and give it
to me straight?" he demanded

"I can't tell you everything right away, but you'll
understand in time. Now do what I tell you unless you
want to see you lovely partner and your dear Grandma
flying in pieces from the explosion" she answered with
an evil laugh, so much like Palmer's.

Harm did as she told him. They went and had lunch
according to her plan, and after an hour returned to
JAG. He stopped in front of her car and she leaned in
and kissed him on the lips before he could back away.
She then got into her own car and drove away in her
Porsche. 


JAG HQ
1400 EST

Sturgis had noticed everything that had gone on in the
office that morning. He knew what was between Harm and
Mac. At least he thought he did. Mac had confessed to
him she was in love with Harm, and he had no doubt
that Harm felt the same for her. Well, at least not
until today. Sturgis felt his blood start to boil as
he thought of what Harm was doing to Mac. He had grown
to respect and admire the Colonel and he considered
her a friend. He had known Harm to be stubborn and
bull-headed, but this was just way too much. This was
cruel and heartless. He made his decision and walked
over to Harm's office.

Harm had just entered his office and the look on his
face was priceless. He looked up and saw Sturgis
walking straight towards his office. 'Great. Here
comes the first lecture. Oh, Mac. I'm so sorry'. 

"Enter" he called weakly as he realized that he
couldn't just evade everyone forever. 

Sturgis walked in and closed the door. He sat down in
a chair across from Harm's desk and stared at him for
a couple minutes before talking. There was something
wrong. He didn't know what, but he would find out,
sooner or later.

"Rabb" he started "You're an idiot" he said
matter-of-factly

"Excuse me?" Harm said taken by surprise at his
friend's words and the use of his last name.

"You heard me. I can't believe you're doing this to
Mac"

"Sturgis, you have no idea what you're talking
about..." He stopped suddenly when he saw Sturgis
stand up and walked towards the door. 

He turned before opening the door. "Harm, I didn't
come here to hear your excuses or to get an
explanation. I just came here to inform you that
you're the biggest jerk for playing around with Mac's
feelings like she's some kind of object"

"Sturgis, you really don't know that much about..."

"Stop it, Harm. Stop kidding yourself and admit it.
That lady Marine adores you. She's madly in love with
you and she's showed you more than once that she would
die for you. Around here, the stories of you two are
like legends from another time" he took a calming
breath and searched his friend's face for any kind of
emotional response. 

Harm's eyes watered, but he kept himself under
control. Sturgis inhaled deeply and lowered his head
slightly to show a little understanding. 

"Listen, Harm. Deep inside, I know you love her. In
fact, I know you love her even more than she loves
you, but you just can't let go of that damn ego of
yours. If you keep this up she's going to lose her
soul sooner or later, and when her heart reaches the
point of no return, it'll all be your fault" and with
that he turned and shut the door behind him. 

He sat at his desk, staring out the window, for a
longer time than he could keep track of. He wondered
how life could go from almost perfect to completely
hellish with a single phone call. He went over what
Sturgis had just told him. How was he so sure that Mac
loved him? How did he know that he loved her so much?
'Maybe I'm that transparent, he thought. Maybe we both
are. What are you doing? Thinking this way won't keep
her safe.' Harm knew he had to think of something and
fast. First, he needed to know where Caroline had come
from. He had just met her once, and now she was
Palmer's best buddy? He picked up the phone. 

"Hello"

"Hi Bobbie, how are you?" he said trying to sound
enthusiastic, but failing miserably.

"Harm, what a surprise. How can I help you?" she
asked, fighting her inclination to tease him sensing
the apprehension on his voice. 

"Bobbie, I need to know where you met Caroline"

"What? What does Caroline have to do with...Oooohhhh,
I see. You want to call her don't you?"

"Bobbie, you couldn't be farther from the truth"

"Really? Listen Harm, if you are planning to make a
certain Marine Lt. Colonel jealous, I don't want any
part in this. God knows what she'll do when she finds
out you are doing this to her, and frankly, I don't
want to know. Unlike you, I value my life, thank you
very much" she blurted out before Harm could stop her.


"Bobbie..." he said exasperated

"Alright. Fine. Listen, only thing I know is that her
last name is Parker and that she's from New York"

"Nothing else?"

"Nope. I could check for you if you really need it,
but that's all I know. Why don't you give Webb a call?
He might now something we don't" she said
sarcastically, unaware that she had ignited Harm's
curiosity.

"You're right. I probably should," he said as he
sighed. Frustrated that he couldn't get more
information from Bobbie. That was a start though.

"Well, let me know if I can help. Is everything all
right, Harm? You don't sound too good" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just the flu I guess"

"Alright, then. Listen I have a meeting in five. I
gotta go"

"Okay. Thanks for your help"

"Anytime"


MAC'S APARTMENT
That evening


She sat on her couch and started writing once again.
This time the tears were running uncontrollably and
she was trying hard not to break down. She calmed
herself enough to speak and started. 

	"Today was one of the worst days of my life. I don't
know what's wrong with me. I love him so much and I
thought he could tell. I don't know what else to do to
get his attention, and it feels like all my efforts
are going down the drain now. He started dating that
Caroline woman, and God knows he'll start pulling away
from me. Just like he did with Renee. I had a fiancée
back then, but it didn't make it hurt any less. I
don't know if I can stand this. I'm afraid I'll break
down in front of the whole office when I see him
tomorrow. I don't think I can face him. Is he really
that blind? Can't he see how much I love him? Can't he
feel it when I'm around him? Well, I thought I felt
the same things coming from him. Maybe he just used me
to entertain himself while he found another blonde. I
don't know. I guess he didn't mean any of what he said
on the Admiral's porch. After all, he did choose his
long-legged blonde over me the night that Mic left me.
Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why couldn't
I just love Mic? What am I going to do now?...."

Heavy sobs interrupted her recital. She couldn't
speak, even less could she write. The full
understanding of what Harm was doing came over her. 

"I love you, Harm" she whispered to the empty
apartment while her tears flowed. "I'll always love
you," she said again curling up in her sofa and
clutching her diary in he hands.

Harm, on the other side of town, couldn't believe what
he was hearing. He was finally getting an insight on
the thoughts of his Marine. "I love you too, Sarah" he
said to his own empty apartment after hearing her
painful sobs and ragged words coming from his computer
and feeling guilt and regret wash over him. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the knock
on the door of her apartment through the speakers. An
uneasy feeling came over him when he realized that it
could be Palmer or one of his 'helpers' at the door.
He watched as she walked over to the door and looked
through the peephole. She had a confused look on her
face, but still opened the door. 

He saw her pick up a big yellow envelope and reach
inside to take out the contents. Inside the envelope
there were three pictures. Big enough for her to
realize who was in them. Harm watched her face as
emotions surfaced that she had never allowed him to
see. Soon her face was full of tears and she sank to
the floor crying. Harm watched as one of the screens
in his computer focused on the pictures that were now
on the floor. Palmer had enlarged them with the sole
purpose of making them visible through the
surveillance cameras he had setup at Mac's apartment.
Harm focused on them, trying to block Mac's sobs to
prevent himself from screaming and going after Palmer
himself. That could put Mac's life in danger. 

The pictures were taken in the street in front of his
apartment. A tall blonde woman, was tangled up in an
embrace with a tall dark haired man that look just
like him from behind. The second picture was a little
more revealing, and it was easy to recognize the
blonde's face. It was Caroline, the one that Sturgis
had introduced him to. The third picture, taken from
the opposite angle, showed the man's face. It was
Harm. My God, that's why he canceled the dinner with
me tonight. She looked at the bottom corner and saw
the date and time printed on them. They had been taken
the day before at 1800. An hour before he was supposed
to have dinner with her. There was a note inside the
envelope. 

     "Hope you like this little souvenir. I guess he's
mine after all. Oh, you're so blind. Can't you see
that he'll never want you? You'll never be woman
enough for him"  

Caroline had signed the note. She couldn't believe
what she was seeing. God knows what they were doing
right about now. She had controlled herself a little,
trying to fight back the tears so she could read the
note. But, as soon as she read it the tears broke
through once again. 

Harm felt like climbing the walls. His heart broke at
the sight of his Sarah crying and sobbing on the
floor. His torment was only increased by the sound of
her sobs that filled his ears. He watched her as she
tried to calm herself and went back to the couch and
sat down with her diary. She was still crying and her
body shook with sobs every so often. She was writing,
but wasn't reciting it aloud, so he couldn't know what
she was writing, but he could very well imagine it. 

How could that Caroline have done this? Who was that
guy she was kissing in the pictures anyway? It looked
just like him. Realization struck him at once. That
was Palmer. He had impersonated him before. My God,
what else is he planning to do? I have to stop him. I
can't let him destroy Mac that way. This is just too
much. 

He was still sitting in front of the computer when a
message popped up in his screen. 
It read "If you deny anything when you see her
tomorrow she'll die. Don't even think about explaining
anything to her. I'll kill her on the spot if you
don't follow the rules" and then his computer turned
off on its own. Palmer had probably sent him a virus
through e-mail and taken over his computer with one of
those intrusive computer programs.

Rage took over him as he read the note and started
pacing the floor of his apartment. He punched the wall
repetitively. Finally, he put on his running gear, and
went out and ran as fast as he could. He needed to get
his head back on straight if he was going to find a
solution to any of this.  

NEXT DAY
HARM'S OFFICE
1600 EST

He hadn't seen her the whole day. She had arrived late
and headed straight for the Admiral's office. After
being there for about 15 minutes, he saw her walk to
her office, retrieve some papers from one of her
cabinets, and leave the office. 

"God help me" he whispered as he thought of the things
he had seen written on her face. The sound of the
phone startled him and he reached for it.

"Rabb"

"Well, hello" Palmer said in a cheery voice that made
Harm sick to his stomach

"Palmer......what is it? Spill it. I don't have any
patience today"

"Now, now Harm. I think you're forgetting who holds
your life in his hands. Let me see. Oh, yes. I DO!!"
he said and laughed hard at him. Harm's patience was
running low. After Sturgis words and what happened at
his office with Mac, he was about ready to go after
Palmer and kill him with his bare hands. Palmer's next
words brought him back from his angry thoughts.

"Oh, by the way Rabb. Your Grandma Sarah says hello,
and Mac. Well, let's just say she's home early"

"Palmer. What exactly is it that you want? Tell me!
NOW!!"

"Harm, you need to work on your people skills you
know? You forget I'm not a witness in the stand," he
said.

"Palmer, when I get my hands on you, I promise
you....."

"Stop making promises, shut up and listen now...."
Palmer raised his voice and Harm recognized it as the
end of the game, for now.

"What?"

"I want you at your apartment, in an hour. You're late
and they both die. We're going to have some fun with
your pretty Marine. Oh, and by the way, you better
make sure everyone thinks you're serious with
Caroline" he finished and hung up the phone. 

The line went dead and Harm just stared at the phone
in his hands, silently asking God why this had to
happen to them. "Why now? Why?" he said looking out
his window. He didn't hear the Admiral knock on his
door and enter silently. He heard Harm's last words. 

"Why now what?" he asked from the door and watched as
Harm jumped on his seat, turned back to face him and
stood up at attention all at once. 

"As you were" AJ waved him off and sat down in front
of him

"Ah, Sir? What can I help you with?"

"Harm" he started and saw Harm's face turn from
worried to annoyed to his surprise

"Sir. With all due respect, if this is about Mac,
please let me save you the trouble. I'm an idiot, and
a jerk because I don't care for her feelings at all.
Everyone here keeps thinking that I'm in love with her
or something. Admiral, Mac and I are friends, that's
all. I'm going out with Caroline and hadn't told her
anything because I didn't want to hurt her feelings,
but it was bound to happen sooner or later. She'll get
over it. She's not a lovesick girl, she's a Marine for
God sakes," he said all this looking straight at the
wall and without any emotion evident on his face;
nothing but anger.

By the time he was finished his anger was evident. The
Admiral misinterpreted it, of course. He assumed he
was angry with everyone for telling him what to do,
when the truth was that he was angry with himself for
even thinking of saying those things about Mac. His
Sarah. Oh, how he loved her, and how he wished Palmer
would just kill him so she could be safe. But that
wasn't the case. 'Suck it up, Rabb' he told himself as
he prepared himself mentally for the Admiral's
response. 

The look on the Admiral's face was one of fury, anger
and frustration. He stood up, squared his shoulders
and called Harm to attention. Harm expected it, so he
stood at attention in front of his CO.

"Commander, I'm a man of few words, but I have plenty
to say to you. However, I won't because I am your CO,
and you are a damn fine officer. I respect you for
that, and its only for that reason that I'm not making
your transfer to Iceland effective immediately" AJ
said looking him straight in the eyes. 

Harm swallowed hard, but he knew he couldn't break
down now. Not in front of his CO, and definitely not
at the office. However, that look on his face was all
the Admiral needed to recognize what was going on. 

He spoke again, hoping not to say anything he would
regret. After all, he wasn't sure why Harm was doing
this, and it sure as hell wasn't because he didn't
love Mac. Even he could recognize a man in love. "As
you were, Harm. I've known you and Mac for a long
time, and I hope you know I trust you and I consider
you family. However, I don't think I need to tell you
what my opinion of you as a man is at this moment. So,
I'll save my comments to myself. But if you ever need
to talk...."

"With all due respect, Sir. I already explained the
situation to you and I would expect you to believe me.
I don't love Mac, Admiral. We are friends and she's
like a sister to me. As far as your opinion of me
goes, I know I should have told her I was dating
someone else, but I can't change that now. She'll be
fine. I'm not the only man in the world" he finished
trying to sound convincing, but failing miserably.

"You are to her, Harm. That's exactly what you are to
her" the Admiral replied sadly.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Sir" he stated looking
straight ahead and not once into his CO's face. He
couldn't. 

"Harm, go home. You have the rest of the day off, and
don't come back tomorrow until you have figured out
what your problem is and how to solve it. Understood?"
he said, his voice rising in an exasperated tone.

"Aye, aye, Sir"

With that, the Admiral turned and left, leaving Harm
alone in his office. Alone with his thoughts, his
thoughts of the love of his life. Sarah. Suddenly, he
remembered what Palmer had said. He said he was going
to have fun with Mac. 'Oh God, please help me do the
right thing'.  With that he gathered his things and
headed home.

The Admiral saw him leave the office. Yes, something
was terribly wrong with Harm. 'There's no way in hell
that Harm is not in love with Mac' "I'll find out,
Harm" he said under his breath. He sat in his
oversized chair and sighed. 


HARM'S APARTMENT
1720 EST

He entered his apartment and the first thing he
noticed was the blinking on his answering machine. It
was Mac. "Hey Harm. I left the office early because I
wasn't feeling well. I won't be here the rest of the
evening, so don't think of coming over with chicken
soup or anything, flyboy. I'll see you tomorrow, bye"

She wasn't angry. She didn't sound sad at all. Her
voice was calm and stable. Was she really okay with
him dating someone else? Did she not love him the way
he thought she did? The ringing of the phone again
interrupted his thoughts. 

"Rabb"

"Hey buddy. Glad to know you can follow orders. Now, I
would suggest you turn on your computer and get
comfortable" and with that he cut the connection.

Harm didn't have time to react. He stared at the phone
a good long minute and then walked straight to his
computer and turned it on. He took off his dress shirt
while the computer booted up. Soon he was staring at
his computer intently, watching her every move. Why
was Palmer doing this? Why not kidnap her and get it
over with? Why did he make him sit and watch this?

Mac was sitting on the edge of her bed. Her head was
hanging down and her hands were clasped tightly in her
lap. He could see her shoulders heave from her sobs
and after 10 minutes of watching her in this position
he saw her look up. She walked slowly over to the
closet, wiping her tears with both her hands. She
opened the door and took out a book that looked a lot
like a photo album. The image in Harm's computer
focused on the book, and he read "H & M" in the front.
It was written in beautiful gold lettering. 

Mac slowly walked out of her room and into the living
room. She sat down on the couch and with a heavy sigh
opened the album to the first page. Harm saw the
picture but he didn't recognize it. It looked like a
picture taken at...Oh yes; he recognized her blue
summer dress she had worn when they went to Arizona
for their first case. They were looking at each other,
smiling, leaning against an old truck. From a
different angle he could see her tears hadn't stopped
flowing, but she wasn't paying any attention to them.
She hadn't even tried to wipe them away. The pictures
were covered with plastic. It wouldn't ruin them. 

He watched as she looked over the pictures one by one.
She would stop from time to time and would cry so hard
he thought she would break into pieces. Harm was
losing his patience. After watching this for about an
hour, he couldn't stand it any longer. He had to talk
to her, touch her. He thought if he could just see
her, then maybe she would read his thoughts and know
what was going on. He knew they were connected to each
other. He toyed with this idea over and over on his
head. Minutes later he arrived at the same conclusion.
He couldn't risk Mac's life like that. Not to mention
Grams. 

A message box popped up in his computer making an
annoying sound at the same time. He noticed that he
couldn't see Mac's face in the screen anymore.  

"Remember I told you that you would be the one to hurt
her? Take my word for it, Rabb. You haven't seen
anything yet"

Realization suddenly struck him and he understood
Palmer's plan perfectly. He knew that Mac was his
life. Palmer knew Harm would do anything for her. If
he didn't have Mac in his life, then he might as well
be dead. Turning her against him like this was the
equivalent of killing her. After all the years of
heartache and misunderstandings, Harm didn't know if
they could survive this. However, at the moment, the
important thing was to keep her alive. What he felt
would have to wait. He had to figure out a way to stop
Palmer. 

His computer had turned off on its own once again,
after a note from Palmer on the screen had threatened
to kill her if he left his apartment or used the
phone. It wasn't until hours later that he heard the
phone ring again. He answered it and out came Palmer's
voice.

"Go see what I left at your doorstep, Rabb. You'll
love it" Palmer said and hung up the phone quickly. 

Harm walked over to his door, and opened it slowly. He
saw a little box on the floor and bent down to pick it
up. He closed the door and walked over to the couch.
He sat down and opened it cautiously. Harm was an
investigator. He also knew Palmer. Whenever stalkers
sent their victims gifts they weren't pretty. He
expected to see a lot of things. Maybe a piece of
Mac's clothing, or some other indication that he had
her. Harm knew that Palmer wouldn't kill her. That
would be too easy. 

When he opened the box, a look of confusion spread
across his handsome face. "A book?" he said to
himself. He took it in his hands and looked at it more
carefully. 
"Harm's Diary" it read in the front. Despite his
shock, Harm opened the book and started reading parts
of it. The handwriting was exactly like his. The dates
on each entry were perfect. Palmer had records of all
the cases he and Mac had been on, and he definitely
knew enough of their personal lives to write a
biography on each of them. 

"Oh my God" Harm said to an empty apartment. He knew
what Palmer had done with this. He had sent it to Mac.
He was sure of it. God knows what he wrote in here. 
An envelope fell from inside the book as he lifted it
to his face. He looked at it and opened it. There was
a note inside. 

'You're probably right, Rabb. I sent this to your
pretty Marine. She's probably read it by now. Why
don't you go to your computer and check on her?'

Quickly he stood up and went to his computer. Turned
it on and waited. The image in front of him tore at
his heart like nothing else ever had. She was curled
up in her bed. He could see the lines of exhaustion on
her beautiful face. There wasn't a single dry spot on
her cheeks. Her eyes were red from crying so hard, and
she was still sobbing uncontrollably with a pillow
hugged to her chest. He noticed a book; identical to
the one Palmer had sent him, open upside down next to
her on the bed. He watched with tears in his eyes as
she sat on the bed, took the book in her hands and
threw it against the wall with all the strength she
had left. 

Harm started trembling in his chair as his tears
flowed. He knew he had to read what Palmer had written
on that book. All he wanted was to take her in his
arms and make all her pain go away. However, he knew
what Palmer was capable of. The phone rang again.

"Palmer what do you want now?" he said directly to the
phone, knowing exactly who it would be. 

"Now Rabb. You better not do anything stupid or I'll
kill her. After all it would be so cruel to kill Mac
now. She would die without knowing how you feel. No,
better yet. She would die hating you and thinking you
hate her. Have you read what's written in that diary?
If you haven't I suggest you do"

"Palmer, that's enough. Give me a time and place and
we'll settle this once and for all. Leave her out of
this" he demanded

"I already told you, Commander. She is a part of this
because she's a part of you. My plan will work this
time, Harm. What you've seen is only the beginning"
and with that he hung up the phone, once again leaving
Harm at a loss of words.

He sat down and took the diary with him and started
reading. 

<"I can't believe they've partnered me up with a
Marine. My god she looks exactly like Diane. I wish I
didn't have to see her every day. I guess I'll have to
get used to her...">

<"So, she's an alcoholic. I should've known. No wonder
she's the way she is. I'm stuck with her. I hope I
don't have her as a partner much longer. I feel sorry
for her, though. She seems like she doesn't have any
friends. Oh well, it's probably her fault. After all,
she's probably messed up so much she doesn't deserve
any. Now, onto the more interesting parts of my
day...">

<"Well, I kissed Mac today. What a mistake!! At least
she understood why I did it. She's so different from
Diane. Diane was the woman of my dreams, Mac is just,
well...she's a Marine. Doesn't really act much like a
woman. I regret kissing her. But oh well, she's a
Marine, she'll deal with it...">

He read on and on, and with every turn of a page rage
and fury overtook him. It was heartless to do this to
her. "I'm going to kill you Palmer, if it's the last
thing I do" he murmured and kept reading. Every word
he read felt like he was being stabbed. His heart
ached in a way he had never thought possible. He read
over his alleged words that referred to Mac's
ex-husband, Dalton, her leaving JAG, her father, his
leaving to fly, and his return. He turned the page
with eyes clouded by tears. What he read made him stop
breathing. 

<"Why is she so stupid? Why would she ever think I
have any kind of feelings for her? Is she blind? We've
been partners for four years and I've never given her
any indication that I'm attracted to her. Why did she
ask me about how long we're going to wait? My whole
purpose that night was to take her back to the crime
scene, so we could get back to DC quick. I do have a
date with Renee, and apparently Mac is about to mess
this up for me too. God knows all the women I date are
jealous of Mac. Can't she tell that all I do for her
is out of pity?  I should've said "Yes, Mac. Forever
is how long we'll wait because I don't ever want to be
with you that way", but I took pity on the woman again
and tried to let her down gently....">

He went on to read a lame explanation for the way he
kissed her on the Admiral's porch. Palmer also made up
a lie to explain why he had flown back through the
storm on the night of her rehearsal dinner. Something
about Renee not wanting to go to the wedding alone,
and how he was glad she was getting married so he
would get her off his back once and for all. 

"NO!!!" he screamed to the empty apartment, and then
broke down and cried. He cried longer than he ever
had. He could feel Mac's pain. He could see her face
every time he closed his eyes. His pain was unbearable
and he cried himself to sleep on his couch. He was in
the same position when the sun peered through the
window and woke him up the next morning. 


MAC'S APARTMENT
Same night

She felt like there was no reason to be alive anymore.
The past six years had all been a lie. He didn't love
her. Heck, he didn't even like her as a person, let
alone a friend. She thought Harm was the one person
who saw her for what she really was. She had opened up
to him and trusted him. He, on the other hand, had
kept everything from her. So many things made sense to
her now. Everything she read on that diary, she
believed. Harm had never been clear about his feelings
for her. She thought it was because he was scared to
fall in love with her. She thought wrong. Now she
understood everything perfectly. He wasn't clear with
her because he felt sorry for her. Fear and a feeling
of unworthiness that she couldn't bear replaced all
the self-confidence and self-esteem she had left. 

She didn't know what she would do, but she'd be damned
if she let Harm see her like this. 'NO! I will not
give him the satisfaction. If he sees how much this
affects me he'll just write my name in his little
black book and go on with his life. I sure as hell am
not leaving JAG. Not after I've worked so hard to
build my career. But I won't make it easy for him to
be around me.' "I'm a Marine, and I won't let that
bastard break me down" she said to herself with an air
of conviction. 'Not another tear, not ever again. No
more crying for Harmon Rabb, Jr.' however, there was
still a strong feeling inside her that told her to
hold on a while longer. She couldn't explain it, but
she had a strange feeling that there was more to this
than what she'd read. But being the stubborn Marine
she was, she pushed it away and focused on her plan to
get over him. 


UNKNOWN LOCATION

'Oh yes; the pain of rejection. Rabb will never
survive this. His feisty Marine? I don't know. Maybe
she'll get over it, but Harm isn't as strong as she
is. Harm will break. He will beg me to kill him once
I'm done with him. I won't do it though. The pain
he'll feel in his heart will be enough to make him
numb to any physical pain. Killing his body is not the
answer. Killing his soul is exactly what this will do
to him.' 

Palmer laughed out loud as he heard Mac's voice and
the things she was saying about Harm. She hated him,
and didn't want anything to do with him. Oh, yeah.
Everything was going as planned. Now all he had to do
was make a quick phone call and it would all be over.
He reached for the phone and dialed. He had one last
request for Harm, one more order. Yes, it was time to
put the icing on the cake.

SUNDAY 
2300 EST

"Rabb" he answered the phone sleepily.

"Listen up. I don't have much time"

"What do you want Palmer?" he said irritably

"It's time for the real deal, Harm. Let's see just how
far you can really go"

"Palmer, quit the bullshit" he said raising his voice
a he came fully awake.

"Listen, and listen good. There's only one way I'll
spare the lives of your two Sarahs"

"Palmer...." He warned

"Walk away, Harm. You either request a transfer out of
JAG or you resign your commission. As simple as that."

"You've got to be kidding me..."

"It's not a joke, Commander. Do it and they'll live"

"Palmer...I swear when I get my hands on you I'll..."

"Give it a rest and do it" and with that he hung up
the phone and left a stunned Naval officer to make the
most important decision of his life. 

MONDAY
JAG HQ

Harm hadn't seen Mac at work since the day Caroline
appeared. She had left early and apparently the
Admiral had given her leave. It had been five days
already since she received those photos of "him" and
Caroline kissing. No one knew where Mac was. Well, at
least not during the day. He had tried going to the
website that Palmer had set up, but there was nothing
there. It was as if Palmer had forgotten about it. It
seemed like Palmer had left Caroline in charge of his
plan. Caroline and those damn videos he got every
night.  
 Harm looked up and saw Mac enter the bullpen and head
towards her office, not a single glance. He recognized
the emptiness on her eyes and remembered the last time
she had seen her image and heard her voice in the
video the night before.  
 "I hate you, Harmon Rabb, Jr. I HATE YOU!!!!" she had
screamed. He didn't see tears in her eyes that time.
She was past that point. She wasn't feeling sorry for
herself anymore. She was numb, and was blocking
everything and everybody out. He knew what she was
doing, and he knew that if he let it go on for long he
would lose her forever. If he let her go on believing
all the things she had read, then she would reach the
point of no return, like Sturgis had told him. Once
again Palmer's words came back to him. Was that really
the best thing to do?
He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't see
her approach his office. 

"Good Morning, Commander" she greeted icily when she
heard his permission to enter.

"Uh, hi Mac"

"It's Colonel Mackenzie for you, Commander" she said
and turned to look at the file on her hands. She knew
she was being unreasonable. She needed to talk to him
about this. Maybe he didn't know Caroline had sent her
the diary. Maybe he was trying not to hurt her and
that's why he hadn't told her the truth in Australia.
But damn it! It hurt too much right now. 

"Mac what's wrong?" He thought that maybe if he got
her to talk about it maybe she would show some emotion
and it would prevent her from drifting farther away
from him. She was having none of that, though. She was
determined. A woman with a mission. She had decided to
forget, and that's exactly what she would do. No one
else had ever stopped her from doing anything, and
Harmon Rabb would not be the first.

"There's nothing bothering me, Commander, except you
overstepping your boundaries and not treating me
respectfully. I expect to be addressed like you would
any other person in this office. Am I making myself
clear?"

Harm winced at her tone and the look in her eyes told
him he better back off. He did. 

"Fine, *Colonel*" he said emphasizing her rank. "Is
there any reason for you stopping by my office?" He
wanted so much to kiss her and hold her, but he knew
he couldn't. 

"Yes. The Anderson case. Here are my notes from the
interview. If you have any problem with them let me
know. If not, I'll meet you this afternoon at our
agreed time" she said looking him straight in the
eyes. 

Harm was really worried now. He expected to see her
looking like hell, but once again, she had surprised
him. She looked as sharp and determined as he'd ever
seen her before. When she looked at him, there was no
trace of tears, exhaustion, pain, or anything else.
She was simply numb. 

"I'll see you this afternoon, then, Colonel," he
answered

"Good" she said and turned to walk away

"Sarah?" she stopped dead on her tracks, her back
stiffened and she turned and looked at him. The look
on her eyes made him feel like a criminal on death
row. After all, he was, in a way killing her. She was
losing her soul, just like Sturgis had said. 

"Don't you ever, EVER call me that again. Understood,
Commander?" she turned and left.

Harm sank down on his chair, and closed his eyes.
Their conversation replayed over and over on his head,
and he could see her face void of emotion. Her steps
were aimless, her voice sounded like an automated
answering machine, and her eyes, God, her eyes were
hollow. There was nothing in there. It was like
someone else had decided to take over her body and had
taken away her soul. 

THURSDAY
JAG HQ

Caroline had made her appearance at JAG more times
than he cared to count. He had tried everything to get
her to talk. However, she always reminded him that
Mac's and Grams' life depended on him. Palmer had
every angle covered. Webb was away on an undercover
assignment and Palmer knew it. The police? Yeah right,
like they'll be able to do anything. The Admiral? No
way. The Admiral was treating him like a criminal
these days, not to mention everyone at Jag. The icy
stares and sarcastic comments were horrible for him to
deal with, especially every time Caroline appeared.
But, even that he could cope with. What he couldn't
bare was Mac's reaction to all of this. She wasn't
avoiding him. Oh no. Mac made sure that Harm knew she
was there. Every time Caroline appeared Mac made sure
to swing by and say hello. She was determined to show
Harm that she didn't care. 

Harm had been thinking about what he could do for the
past week. It would soon be two weeks and he was sick
of it all. Most of all, he was sick of hurting Mac.
She could act and say whatever she wanted at the
office, but late at night, her true feelings came to
life, and she was as vulnerable as she could ever be.
Palmer wasn't cutting Harm any slack. He made sure
that Harm received the tapes from Mac's apartment.
They were in the mail. Every day, he would come back
from work, press play on the video cassette player,
and there she was. Curled up in a corner of her room,
crying and sobbing. He saw her more withdrawn every
day that went by. Palmer had told him the day before
what it would take for him to leave Mac and his
Grandma alone. Harm had been reluctant to do what
Palmer had said. However, after seeing the state Mac
was in, he knew there was nothing else he could do. He
would give it all for her. He had to.

He took the phone and dialed. 

"Tiner, is the Admiral in?

"Yes, Commander"

"Could I see him?"

"Now, Sir?

"Yes, Tiner. If it's possible"

"Ok, just a second, Commander"

He waited

"Commander Rabb, Sir?"

"Yes, Tiner"

"The Admiral will see you now"

"Thank you Tiner"

"You're welcome, Sir"

Harm headed towards his CO's office. He hated what he
was about to do, but he had to. A minute later he was
standing at attention in front of his CO's desk.

"As you were" The Admiral took in his appearance and
the lines of exhaustion and worry that were evident on
his face. He felt sorry for the man, but he knew that
he had brought this upon himself. Nobody told him to
go date another woman, while the one he loved was
right in front of him.

"I understand you wanted to see me, Commander?"

"Yes, Sir. I did"

"Spill it Rabb, I don't have all day"

Harm winced at the sharp tone, but decided this was
too important. He had to do it. For Mac. Palmer had to
stop hurting her. Only God knew the danger she was in,
and it was all because of him. He couldn't live with
it. 

"I'm waiting" the Admiral said exasperated

"Sir, I'd like to request a transfer"

The Admiral jerked his head up and looked at his
officer like he had grown a second head. 

"You what?"

"I would like to request a transfer, Sir" Harm
repeated.

The Admiral laughed sarcastically. "Let me get this
straight, Harm. You want me to approve a transfer so
you have an excuse to hurt Mac even more?"

"Sir?"

"Don't 'Sir' me Rabb. You know exactly what I'm
saying"

"Uh, Sir, I'm sorry, but I don't" he tired to play it
innocent, but he failed miserably.

"Okay. Let me spell it out for you. You want a
transfer because you want to leave JAG so you can
marry that blonde and get Mac off your back" his eyes
burned with anger

Harm was shocked. He never thought the Admiral
resented him that much for dating Caroline The
Admiral, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was
doing. Maybe this was the only way to get Harm to
break down and tell him what was going on. 

"Sir. I have no intention of marrying Caroline"

"Well, what do you want then, Rabb? Get away from Mac?
After all you've put her through you realize you can't
handle her anymore and have decided to abandon her? Do
you have any idea what this will do to her? You made
her who she is Harm. It's because of you and your
stupid indecision and insecurities that she's like
this. Six years Harm. It's been six years that she's
loved you, and all you can do is turn your back on
her, after you made her believe you loved her?"

"Sir, with all due respect, I think I already
explained that to you the other day in my office. I
don't love Mac. We are just...."

"Quit the bullshit, Commander" the Admiral yelled and
stood up from his chair, letting his temper get the
best of him. 

"You love that woman more than your life itself, and
you know it as well as we all do. You're just a damn
coward," He said as Harm swallowed hard and tried to
hold back tears. That's when the Admiral knew he had
gotten through to him. He softened a little and
continued.

"Harm. I know what it feels like. I've made mistakes
in my life as well, and I'm trying to prevent you from
making the biggest mistake of your life"  

"Sir, with all due respect, you have no idea what it
feels like. My letter of resignation will be on your
desk today before I leave. It's been an honor serving
under you, Admiral" he came to attention one last time
and left the Admiral's office after his whispered
approval. The Admiral was stunned. 'Maybe I pushed him
too hard. Maybe he really is not ready. Maybe love is
not enough for those two.' 

Harm sat in his office, turned to his computer and
started typing. He was finished a while later,
printed, signed, and folded the later. He sighed
heavily and looked at his office. He was sure going to
miss this place. The Navy had been his life for so
long that he didn't know what he would do next. His
determination was still there though. He had to leave.
He needed to get Palmer away from Mac. If he resigned
his commission and went somewhere up in the mountains
and hid there, then maybe Palmer would realize he had
already won and would leave Mac and his Grandmother
alone. It was him he wanted after all, not them. 

He left the letter with Tiner and returned to his
office. He took out a box and started to empty the
contents of his desk drawers. His eyes settled on the
pictures of him and Mac that he kept in his office.
The NATO ball, AJ's christening, the Jagathon. She
looked so happy and alive in those pictures. She
looked like she was happy to be with him. All of that
was gone now. She only had anger, resentment, and hate
to offer him. He had to leave. He couldn't take Palmer
down while he was so close to Mac. He had to distract
him so he could make his move. This was the perfect
plan. 'Mac hates me anyway. I've got nothing to lose.'

NEXT DAY
JAG HQ

The staff meeting was already under way when Harm
walked in. He knew the Admiral had read his
resignation letter, but didn't know if he would
announce it to everyone yet. Truthfully, he didn't
care. He was leaving anyway. He had grown indifferent
to the stares and the comments of his co-workers, so
he wasn't nervous or apprehensive about how they would
take the news. Mac, on the other hand, was something
else. He knew she hated him, and that she still cried
every night. He wanted to say goodbye to her. He
needed to talk to her, hug her, and kiss her one last
time before he left. God only knew if he would survive
Palmer, but he knew it was the only way. 

"Okay, all the cases are assigned for next week.
Anything else?" the Admiral asked. The room was quiet.

"Very well. Uh, one last thing. Commander Rabb will no
longer be with us, effective on Monday of next week.
He has presented his request for resignation. That'll
be all. Dismissed" he stood up and walked towards the
door. It took the rest of them a few seconds to digest
what the Admiral had told them. Harm was already at
the door by the time everyone else started moving. 

Mac was stunned. She couldn't believe Harm had
resigned his commission. A transfer she would've
understood. But resigning? He surely didn't do it for
Caroline. Harm's first love was the Navy. It was the
only thing that he had left of his dad. The Navy and
those damn Tomcats. There was something wrong. She
knew it, and even though she was fighting hard not to
care about him, she could feel his pain. She didn't
know how, but she did. Just like the time she had
found him in the ocean when his plane went down. She
had always been able to feel him inside her heart.
This was one of those times. 

Harm walked to his office ignoring the glares and
whispers like he had gotten used to doing. He took
another empty box and started taking down the things
from the wall. There wasn't much left to take home.
Everything else he had cleaned up the night before. He
saw Mac headed towards his office. He froze. He didn't
know what to expect. 

She knocked. "Enter" he called weakly

"What the hell is going on?" she shot at him

He was taken aback by her reaction. "What?" he shot
back, a look of disbelief on his face.

"You heard me, Harm. What's going on? Why are you
resigning your commission?" her voice still way above
conversation level.

"Mac. Leave it alone, will you? I don't want to be in
the Navy anymore. I'm sick of the life. I need a
change" 

"Oh, I see. You want to go marry Caroline and get on
with your life," she said matter-of-factly. The pain
was there this time. He saw it, and his heart suddenly
felt a surge of hope. She wasn't gone. She was still
the Mac he knew. She still had her soul. She hadn't
reached the point of no return yet.

"Mac. Caroline has nothing to do with this, you hear
me?" he said looking at her directly, his voice
conveying all the anger he felt inside even as he
tried to suppress it. For a second he forgot what his
original plan was and just looked at her, initiating a
silent conversation with her. 

Mac stared at him for a while. That's when she saw it.
She saw the love in his eyes as well as the pain and
regret. Her eyes were locked with his, and every
second that passed the walls around her broke down a
little more. He was so transparent. She forgot
everything she had read in that stupid diary and
focused on him. 

His mouth moved slightly and she thought she saw a
hint of a smile in his lips. That was all she needed
to see. He might have written all of that in his
diary, but there had to be an explanation. 

Harm felt better than he had since the day Palmer had
first contacted him. He could tell Mac was reading his
thoughts. He saw it in her eyes. Her eyes, yes, her
eyes. They were smiling back at him. She was still
furious and hurt, but her eyes conveyed understanding.
He felt the change in her demeanor instantly. 

They stared at each other for a long time, and a
silent conversation took place. She didn't know what
was going on exactly, but she knew he was doing this
because he had to, because he was protecting her
somehow. Minutes later she broke the silence.

"Harm, tell me what's wrong" she stated, her voice
considerably softer, but still a little edgy.

"Mac, there's nothing wrong" he said, but his eyes,
well, his eyes said a whole different story.

"Harm, is someone after you? Are you in trouble? Are
you going to Russia again?????!!!!" as she asked the
last question thinking of the airline telephone number
at the same time. 

"NO! This has nothing to do with Russia, Mac. This is
something I have to do"

"Where are you going?" Her voice full of relief after
he assured her he wasn't going to Russia.

"I don't know, Mac. Probably California. I haven't
seen my mom in a while" 

"Oh. Harm, well, I hope you know you can talk to me if
you need it. I'm sorry about the way I've treated you
this past week. I had my reasons, which are not
important now. I just want you to know that no matter
what you write in your diary or whom you kiss, I'll
always be your friend. I care for you very much" the
words shot right out from her mouth before she
realized what she had said. She didn't want him to
know about the diary or the pictures. His eyes had
convinced her that he didn't want to hurt her. There
was no way he could know what Caroline had done.  

Harm didn't say a word. He couldn't. He knew
everything about that diary she had read and he
couldn't risk talking about it. She saw the guilt
spread across his face and her heart sank, once again.


"You know?" her voice a whisper and her eyes wide

"Know what?" he said trying to evade the question

"You know about the diary. The one your girlfriend
sent me. What about the pictures? Did you know about
that too?" her voice rose with every word. At his look
of embarrassment she continued.

"You coward" she hissed. "You knew what she was going
to do and didn't have the decency to tell me the
truth. Always hiding. Always stopping at mid-sentence.
How could you do this to me after all we've been
through?" the pain and hurt were obvious by now and
her eyes watered. Maybe she misinterpreted what she
had seen in his eyes minutes before.  

This isn't going well, he thought. He couldn't break
in front of her. Her life depended on this. Her life
and his Grandma's. He took a deep breath and started. 

"Yes, Mac. I know. I'm the one who told her to do it,
because I was too much of a coward to tell you myself.
Is that what you wanted to hear? There. Now leave me
alone and don't ever come near me again for your own
good. Contrary to the office gossip, I don't love you
Mac. I never did, and I never will. Is it not enough
for you to read it? Do you need to hear it from me
too?" He took the last box of things he had on his
desk, walked around his desk and out of JAG. 

MAC'S APARTMENT 
That Evening

Mac sat on the floor, curled up in the corner of her
room as she had done all week. Harm had lied to her.
He knew about the diary, and he had planned it all to
get rid of her. She was trying hard to believe this so
she could get over him and get on with her life. But
she couldn't.

The tears kept falling, but she couldn't shake the
feeling she had inside. The same feeling she had after
she read the diary and saw the pictures. She wanted to
hate him for doing this to her, but somehow she knew
that it wasn't his fault. Something inside her told
her that this was hurting him as much as it was
hurting her. That's when she made her decision.
Whatever it took, she wouldn't let him run away. She
loved that man more than life itself. 'I'll fight for
you Harm. I won't let you do this alone.' 

At that moment, all her pride left her and only love
was left for her to feel. "I love you Harm. Can you
hear me? Talk to me, I promise I'll believe you. I
love you," she said to herself, with her face buried
on her hands, she prayed Harm could hear her. After
saying those words out loud, a sense of peace came
over her. Somehow she knew that Harm could hear her.
She had decided to forget everything else but her love
for him. Nothing else really mattered to her, and at
that moment, that magical connection she'd always felt
they had was more real than ever before.  

She reached for the phone and dialed.

HARM'S APARTMENT
Same time

He had left JAG that afternoon and returned to his
apartment. Nothing mattered anymore. He had said those
words to her. He had told her himself that he didn't
love her. For a minute there, he thought she had
understood. Those long moments when she stared at him
and smiled he thought would be enough for her to
understand. 

He didn't wait around for her reaction though. He had
left the office after telling her he didn't love her.
'Oh God, she believed me. She fell for Palmer's plan.
I'm so sorry, Mac.' As he thought more over the events
of the day, and of the past two weeks his heart
swelled with pain and hurt. He had never felt so
helpless, so unworthy, so hurt;
so,----broken.  

He kept going over the events of the last two weeks
over in his mind. "I love you, Sarah. You're my life.
Can you hear me? I love you. Please, you have to
believe me". He kept repeating those words to himself,
praying that somehow she could hear him. 

Suddenly, he heard her voice. He stilled for a minute,
and there it was again. He turned around forcefully.
Nothing. He closed his eyes and he could see her in
front of him. 

"It can't be," he said to himself as he shook his head
thinking that he was probably delirious. They had
communicated strangely before, but never like this.
His mind had to be playing tricks. The phone brought
him back from his thoughts and he walked over numbly
and answered.

"Palmer, whatever you want you got it! Why don't you
just kill me now? Get it over with. I can't stand it.
You win! Just don't hurt her please!" the last words
came out in between sobs. Somewhere in his mind, he
knew that it wasn't a smart move to let Palmer know
what he was doing to him, but he couldn't help it. At
this point he was begging for compassion, even though
he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere with Palmer. He
simply couldn't handle anymore. 

After a few seconds, there was no sound coming from
the other end of the line. 

"Palmer?" he yelled into the phone

"I know you're there you son of a bitch. ANSWER ME!"
he yelled, and then the line went dead. 

MAC'S APARTMENT
10 minutes later

Mac was still trying to process what she had heard.
Harm had answered the phone thinking it was Palmer
calling. Everything made sense now. She didn't know
exactly what Palmer had done, but she was sure that
the diary and the pictures weren't Harm's doing. An
idea came to her. She made a quick phone call; picked
up the diary Palmer had sent her and ran towards her
car. She couldn't give up on him now. Harm was the
center of her universe and she'd be damned if she let
a psycho like Palmer take him from her. 

THE ADMIRAL'S HOME
McLEAN , VA
2100 EST


A.J was nervous. As if Webb calling him and telling
him the story on Harm wasn't enough, now he had to
deal with a bull headed Lt. Colonel. He'd never heard
Mac sound anything like she had on the phone minutes
ago. He was sure this had something to do with Harm.
Somehow she had found out about Palmer and the whole
mess. What else could it be? He heard the bell ring
and went to open the door. 

"Admiral"

"Come in, please, Mac," he said as she made her way
into his home and he closed the door behind him.

"Admiral, I don't know what to do, Sir"

"Mac, first of all, does this have anything to do with
Harm?" He wanted to make sure she knew about Palmer
first, before he said something that could put Webb's
plan in jeopardy.

"Yes, Sir. It does"

"Then, please call me A.J. I have a feeling this will
get a lot more personal than the matters at the
office," he said. She smiled.

"Thank you...AJ"

"Very well. Now, what is it?"

She went on and told the Admiral what she had heard on
the phone when she had called Harm's apartment. She
didn't know what to say, so she just hung up the
phone. He listened to her story and thanked God that
she had come to him instead of going to Harm's
directly. She continued.

"I knew it. I could feel it. I knew there was someone
else behind this. I tried to ignore it, AJ. I really
tried to hate Harm. I tried to convince myself I
didn't need him, but I couldn't. That bastard Palmer.
He's blackmailing him. When I heard Harm on the phone
he was telling Palmer not to hurt her. Palmer probably
has Caroline, and is blackmailing him" she finished in
a whisper and broke down crying in front of her CO. 
'Damn you Palmer' he thought. He had managed to make
Mac believe that Harm loved Caroline and not her. He
put an arm around her and spoke softly. 

"Mac, I really hate to tell you this, but.... Well, I
think I have a pretty good idea how Palmer made Harm
resign his commission"

She looked up at him and her eyes opened wide. 

"What...."

"Mac, Harm and I had a couple of conversations before
he resigned this morning. One in his office and one at
mine"

"And...."

"Both times I spoke to him I noticed his change in
attitude when I referred to you"

"You have to tell me what he said. Please, I need to
know"

"Mac, I don't think.."

"Please. You don't understand. I need to know."

He groaned. "All right. But Mac, you have to know one
thing. That man loves you, regardless of what he says.
He doesn't love Caroline, he doesn't even like her" at
her look of confusion he continued. "You just have to
be patient. Don't give up on him ok?"

She handed him the book she had on her hands. He
looked at her in confusion.  She explained where the
book had come from.

Minutes later AJ's voice broke the silence. "Wow! You
still believe in him after reading all this" It was a
statement, not a question. The feelings between his
two officers were as deep as he had imagined. 

"I love him, AJ. I love him more than life itself. I
can't deny it any longer, and no matter what he says,
and no matter how much it hurts to hear him say he
doesn't love me, I can't give up on him. I know he
doesn't love me like I love him, but he would never
write anything like this about me. We're friends, and
I know he at least respects me. This is not his fault.
Palmer made him do this and I'm going to find out why.
Palmer will pay for this, I promise he will" 

AJ smiled at the determination he heard on her voice
and touched her arm to show support. "I know he will,
Mac. I know he will"

"Mac, I won't process Harm's letter of resignation
until this is cleared up. Webb is coming back from his
mission two days early. He's scheduled to arrive
tomorrow morning. I know because I called his office
to talk to him about Harm. I thought he might have
some insight, especially if he had resigned to go to
Russia again. Webb's secretary took a message and he
called me back a few minutes before you got here. He
informed me that Palmer had escaped about a month ago
but that they had found him dead. Apparently, that was
only another one of Palmer's sick jokes"

"We can't!! Palmer will know when Webb returns. If we
ask Webb for help, God knows what Palmer will do to
Harm, or Caroline"

"Webb assured me that no one knew about his return,
and the only reason he called me was because he was
worried about you and Harm" he finished and stood up
from his spot on the couch and started moving around
the living room. 

"AJ, we have to do something. I can't stand to see him
like this" she whispered softly

"Mac, you're the strongest woman I know. It's amazing
how much faith you have in Harm"

"I can feel it inside. I can't explain it, I just
know"

Yes, they were soul mates. They could feel each other
even when they were so far apart, physically and
emotionally. Harm had resigned his commission for her,
and Mac? Oh, Mac was the strongest one of the two.
Even when all the evidence told her he was a jerk, she
still believed in him, and here she was. Willing to do
anything to help him and bring him back. 

"Just like you found him when he went down at sea?"

"Yes. Only this time it's stronger. This time it's not
about him dying physically. He's losing his soul,
Admiral. It feels like if I don't do something he'll
reach the point of no return and I'll never get my
best friend back"

"Mac, he knows how much he's hurt you this past two
weeks. You know how he deals with guilt. You'll have
to help him through this, even after Palmer's gone.
He'll never forgive himself for everything Palmer did
to you"

"I won't give up on him, Admiral. I can't live without
him. Not anymore. I'll be his best friend and I'll
dance at his wedding to Caroline. I'll take him
whatever way I can have him" she finished and AJ gave
her a knowing look and nodded his head. 

"All right. This is a start. We'll see Webb first
thing tomorrow morning. Now I want you to go home and
get some rest. You'll need it if we're going to find
out what's wrong with Harm tomorrow. Straight to your
apartment, you hear me? No stops anywhere." He hated
lying to her like this. He knew what the plan was with
Clay. He had coordinated everything on the phone with
Webb a couple hours before Mac had called him. As
guilty as felt for keeping Mac out of this, he knew
they couldn't risk her life. Harm would kill them if
he found out they'd let Mac get anywhere near Palmer. 


She drove back to her apartment, more at ease,
thinking that they would do something the next
morning. As soon as Webb returned, they would figure
out what to do, and Harm would be out of danger. She
had no idea what was about to happen that night. 

All the drive back to her apartment she kept hearing
Harm's voice in her head. 'I love you Sarah' was all
she heard. The feeling grew stronger within her. She
couldn't take it anymore. Finally giving in, she
quickly turned around and headed for Harm's apartment.


HARM'S SUV
Same time

"Rabb" he answered his cell phone

"Harm! Thank god. Where the hell are you?"

"Webb? WEBB!!!"

"Calm down Harm. I know everything. I need to talk to
you. Can we meet somewhere? You need to hear this, but
not over the phone"

"Webb. Are you out of your mind? I'm about to...."

"HARM! This is about Mac and your Grandma. Meet me at
the Wall in 20 minutes. Don't be late!" and with that
he hung up the phone leaving a stunned Harmon Rabb
hanging. 

Harm turned and drove towards the place Webb had told
him to meet him. All he could think of was that Palmer
may have gotten Mac and his Grandma and could be doing
God knows what to them. He parked near the area 15
minutes later, opened his door and walked towards the
place they had agreed to meet. 

Webb was already there. He recognized Harm walking
towards him and shortened the distance meeting him
half way. They sat down at one of the benches. Harm
was impatient and Webb could tell. So he started his
story.

"Harm, I want you to listen and don't interrupt me
until I'm done okay?"

"Fine. Out with it already!" he looked at Webb
expectantly and he began

"We knew that Palmer had escaped from prison a month
ago. We knew he would come after you so we let him.
You, Mac and the rest of your family have been under
CIA surveillance for the past month. We knew that
Palmer would never go for the kill. That's not his
style. Since he's obsessed with making you suffer, we
knew he would go for Mac"
"But why Mac and not me? I mean..."
Webb cut him off. "Harm! You love the woman. Palmer
knows it, hell, everybody knows it except her!!" he
exclaimed exasperated at Harm's ignorance. 
Harm opened his mouth to speak but Clay raised his
hands. "No, let me finish. Harm, Palmer doesn't have
your grandmother. She's never been involved in any of
this. Palmer was simply playing games with you. Just
like he's been telling you that Mac's apartment is
wired. It's not. He does have all the surveillance
equipment installed, that's how he gets the tapes to
you and how he setup that website"

"You knew about that too? Weren't you undercover
somewhere?"

"That was a cover. We made Palmer believe that I would
be away on an undercover assignment. We knew that he
would make his move when I wasn't around, since he
knew I couldn't come out and help you two"

"Where's my Grandmother? He might go after her...."

"Harm, relax. She's under our custody. We've had her
for the last week. She's at home, but she's heavily
surrounded with operatives. She's fine and anxious to
see you"

"Hold on a minute. You're trying to tell me that you
know about everything that's been going on these past
two weeks? You know I resigned my commission as well?"

"AJ told me about that earlier tonight. He called me
and left a message. I received it and called him. He
said Mac had called him and was going over to his
house tonight. I told him to tell Mac that I'd be back
tomorrow morning. So now we have time to go get Palmer
tonight and not have that jarhead of yours involved in
it. That is the way you want it isn't it?"

"Of course. I don't want her anywhere near that
psycho"

Webb smiled. "That's what I thought. The Admiral
seemed to agree with me. He'll be meeting us in about
an hour at the address we have. Palmer should be
there, and he'll get the surprise of his life. We'll
get him this time, Harm. He'll be put away forever. I
promise you"

Harm was still a little skeptical. "So, you're telling
me that you've been spying on Palmer all this time and
he doesn't know about it?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. He was in prison too
long and he barely managed to escape. We know he lost
many of the contacts he had outside of prison after
the September 11 events, because many of them went
back to the Middle East. We were just waiting for him
to make his move. The fact that he told you he had
your grandmother when he really didn't was all we
needed to know he's desperate. He's not thinking
straight. He's just out to get you, and he's being
driven by emotion. We'll get him tonight" 

"Webb, I just don't get it. We all know Palmer's
smarter than that. What's different this time?"

Webb looked at him and Harm understood at once.
"Caroline?" he asked. Webb nodded. 

"Harm. Caroline's last name is Parker. She was
Jordan's cousin. She and her family have blamed you
for her death for a long time. That's why Caroline
came to DC from New York. We're not sure how, but
Palmer got a hold of her and she agreed to help make
your life a living hell. We searched her place as soon
as we got word at the Agency that Palmer had been
contacting someone new from prison. Bobbie introduced
her to me once when I saw her at the Pentagon. She
told me that she had introduced her to AJ. I asked her
if you were there when Caroline met AJ and she said
that you and Mac both were there. We found evidence in
her apartment of her communication with Palmer,
including e-mails, phone bills, and an address put
away in a safety box under her bed. That's how we know
everything"

"Where is she now? Caroline? What if she goes after
Mac? What if she's just like Palmer..."

"Harm, we have Caroline. That's exactly how we're
going to get Palmer tonight. She's going to help us.
We made a deal with her"

Webb's cell phone rang. 

"Webb"

"?"

"Yes. I have enough people waiting for her to make
sure she doesn't try anything silly. They'll keep her
safe. I sent people I trust over to her apartment"

Harm was listening intently now that he recognized
they were talking about his Sarah. 

""

"Yes" and he clicked and closed his cell phone. He
turned to Harm.

"She's on her way home Harm. She'll be safe. Before
Palmer realizes there's anything wrong he'll be
handcuffed and on his way to a not-so-comfortable
padded cell somewhere overseas"

"I hope you're right, Webb. Now, let's get moving.
What's the plan?"

Webb started explaining the strategy to Harm as they
went over to his SUV and drove into the night towards
the place where Clark Palmer would finally meet his
end.


HARM'S APARTMENT
Same time

She parked her 'Vette and turned off the engine. She
sighed heavily before opening her door and walking
straight towards Harm's building. She went up the
stairs to his front door. She mustered up all her
courage and knocked. She didn't know what she would do
if he rejected her again, but at least now she could
talk to him alone and maybe she could get him to open
up. She knew what she heard. The voice in her head was
Harm saying 'I love you, Sarah' not 'I love you,
Caroline'. 

No response. She knocked again. Nothing. She clutched
the diary she carried tighter between her hands,
sighed, and lifted her hand knocking harder this time.
Nothing again. She looked for the spare key she had
for his apartment. She tried it. It didn't work. He
had changed the locks without telling her. 

There wasn't much she could do, so she sat on the
floor in front of the door and cried. He had already
left her. He didn't even say goodbye. He just left.
Her body grew weak from her sobbing and exhaustion
soon overtook her. She soon fell asleep with her knees
tucked under her chin and the diary in between her
hands that encircled her legs. 'I love you, Harm' was
the last thing to cross her mind. 

ABANDONED WAREHOUSE
WASHINGTON, DC

When the Admiral arrived at the place they had agree
to, Harm and Webb were already there, along with what
seemed like 80% of the CIA. Webb had surely taken
extra precautions this time. He really wanted to nail
Palmer, not so much for his own satisfaction, but for
Harm and Mac. He wouldn't admit it to others, but Harm
and Mac had definitely helped him more than they had
to, and he considered them friends. He was as
disgusted by what Palmer had done to Mac as AJ was.

They were about two blocks away from the warehouse
where they knew Palmer was at. Caroline had been
working with them, since she had no other choice, and
she had installed a surveillance camera in the main
room where Palmer had all his equipment. At the
moment, Caroline was handcuffed and sitting inside one
the cars there. 

"Is everything ready?"

"Yeah. We were just waiting a little longer for AJ to
arrive. Is everyone ready over there?" Webb said to
one of his people. 

"Just say the word"

"All right. Five minutes. We go in and out. I want him
dead or alive. Understood?"

"Sure thing, boss"

"Fine. Go back and wait for my signal" With that the
CIA operative went back to the others and left Webb
with an anxious Navy Commander. 

"Harm, wipe that look off your face. Everything will
be fine. He has nowhere to go"

"I wish I could believe you, Clay"

"Well, you're gonna have to. Caroline is going in with
them. One of them has been undercover. Palmer will
think the guy she's with is the same one he met a week
ago, and that's when we'll make our move. It should be
a clean one"

"Yeah, well. You never know with Palmer"

Webb didn't answer him. He simply stared in the other
direction. The sound of his phone interrupted his
thoughts and he reached for it.

"What do you mean she's not there yet?" Webb answered
exasperated when he heard the news coming from the
other end. He waited for an answer and then continued.

"Well, I want you to get me her location ASAP, and
don't wait for my permission to follow her and keep an
eye on her, understood?" he heard the man on the other
line speak his understanding and hung up the phone.

Thankfully, Harm didn't hear this conversation. AJ did
however. 

"Webb, what's going on?" AJ said in a low voice so
Harm wouldn't think there was anything wrong. 

"Mac never made it to the apartment, AJ. I don't know
where she could be" Webb said more relaxed than he
actually felt. 

"Well, I told her to go straight to her apartment and
to wait for my call in the morning"

"Yeah, but you know Mac. She probably went to Rabb's
apartment or to JAG to do some research to help Harm
tomorrow"

"Webb, what if Palmer knows about this? What if
Caroline told him something and you didn't notice.
What if he hired someone else to get Mac?"

"Palmer wouldn't pay someone else to do it. He likes
to do things on his own," Webb said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, right. That's why he hired Caroline isn't it
Webb?" and he laughed sarcastically.

"I guess you have a point there. Listen. I wasn't
going to tell you this, but, well, we've had all of
your cars monitored for a while now; Yours, Harm's,
Mac's, the Roberts', and especially, Harm's family in
California. We know where you've been the past two
weeks. Well, at least we know where your vehicle has
been" he said and risked a sideways glance at AJ who
looked at him in disbelief.

"So you know where Mac is?"

"Not right now. But it won't take long to find out.
They probably already know. I'm just waiting for them
to come back and confirm my own suspicion" His cell
phone interrupted their talk.

"Webb"

""

"All right. Go and keep an eye on her. Keep me
informed" 

He then turned to AJ.  "AJ, she's safe. I think it's
better not to tell Harm about this. He'll go crazy and
might do something stupid"

"You're right. We'll just tell him she's safe with
your men. That IS the truth, isn't it?"

"Of course. She'll be fine"

"All right"

Harm was getting ready to go in with the team when AJ
and Webb walked over to the CIA team. 

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Harm answered impatiently

"Harm, I don't think it's a good idea for you go in
there with them. It won't be necessary. They know what
to do"

"Clay, this is about Mac. Do you have any idea how
much pain that bastard has caused her?" he almost
yelled at Webb.

Clay didn't back down. Not this time. "Yes I do, Harm.
I do have an idea because I've seen all the tapes as
well. I read the diary and I saw the pictures"

"Well, then how can you tell me not to go in?"

"You idiot!!!" Webb yelled "The pain Palmer has caused
Mac will be nothing compared to the pain she'll feel
if you die!!!!!! Don't you get it!!!!?"

Harm didn't know what to answer, and Clay continued, a
little softer this time. 

"Harm, listen to me. Mac is not in there. Mac is safe.
Don't go in. Palmer will do anything to get you, and
when he realizes he's cornered God knows what he'll
try to do. If he sees you in there you'll be his only
target. Use your head, Rabb"

Harm stayed quiet for a few moments. He turned and
stared the other way. He started walking away when he
heard Clay's voice again.

"Besides, do you have any idea what Mac will do to me
if I let anything happen to you?" he said with a hint
of a smile.

Harm gave him half a smile. "Okay Webb. You win.
However, if anything happens in there I'm going in. I
won't let Palmer get away"

"Deal"

"Deal" Harm answered and went to stand next to the van
where the monitor showed the insides of the warehouse.


Webb turned then to his men. "It's time. Let's get
this done"

A few minutes later they were all ready to begin. Webb
had convinced AJ to stay outside with Harm, just in
case they needed back up. Webb's team was more than
ready to do their job, and this time, they had no
intention of messing up.

Caroline went in first with the undercover CIA agent
that had been working the case for the past week.
Apparently Palmer had figured out what was about to
happen. He turned around as he heard them walk into
the room where he was and shot them both square in the
chest. He then ran towards the back of the warehouse
to escape. 

Harm heard the shots coming from inside and looked
rapidly at the monitor screen and saw two motionless
bodies on the floor. Palmer was nowhere to be seen,
and Webb's men were running all over the building
trying to locate Palmer. 

Harm looked around frantically as he realized that
Palmer had escaped and could be anywhere. Harm ran
towards the building. He went around towards the back
of the warehouse. AJ had seen him run, but Harm had
told him to guard the front of the building until Webb
came out. 

"STOP!" Harm yelled at the retreating back of Palmer.

Palmer turned to see Harm pointing a gun at him.

"I guess you're smarter than I gave you credit for"

"Palmer, you're a dead man. If you move I'll kill you"

"Oh, come on Rabb. Are you really going to kill me?
Why? Because of what I did to your little Marine
partner? Do you know where she is?"

"Palmer, shut up. She's safe. I'm the one that's here.
Leave her out of this"

The Admiral had seen Harm run towards the back and
when Webb came out and told him Palmer had escaped
they both ran after Harm. They found Harm standing,
aiming the gun at Palmer, and getting ready to fire.  

"Harm, calm down. It's not worth it" AJ tried to
persuade Harm not to shoot him. Palmer had been
telling Harm about everything he had done to Mac, and
the battle raging inside his head was evident in his
body language. Harm was holding the gun with both
hands, feet squared on the floor, and his eyes
conveyed his determination to put an end to Palmer's
life once and for all.

"Face it Rabb. She hates you. She'll leave you, just
like everyone else" Palmer was desperate now. He knew
he was cornered, but if he could get Harm to kill him,
then Harm would be brought up on murder charges. There
was no way he could get off, unless he pleaded
insanity. If Harm killed Palmer, it wouldn't be in
self-defense, and that was sure to end Harm's career. 

"She doesn't hate you Harm. Mac loves you, more than
anything else. You should've seen her tonight. She was
so worried about you, and she told me she'd do
anything to keep you safe" AJ tried to reason with
Harm.

"He's lying Rabb and you know it. She hates you. Words
can't be taken back, and you told her you didn't love
her. You know how fragile she is. Do you really think
she's strong enough to get over what you said to her?
She might forgive you, but she'll always resent you"
Palmer kept pressing him to pull the trigger. 

"SHUT UP!!" Harm yelled, all of a sudden unable to
keep his feelings under control. He double checked his
aim on Palmer's forehead and got ready to fire. A shot
was heard and hit Palmer right between the eyes.
Harm's eyes widened and he slowly turned sideways. AJ
mimicked his action.

"It was about time he shut up," Webb said as he looked
at Palmer once again and then at Harm and AJ. He put
away his gun and started walking back, leaving behind
two stunned Naval officers.

He turned around as if he had forgotten something and
spoke. 

"Oh, and Harm. Don't worry. Your name and AJ's will
not be associated with this. As far as the Agency is
concerned, this was my investigation. I'm giving them
Palmer's real body. They'll love me," he teased. 
"Just make sure I get invited to the wedding okay?" he
laughed and started walking away again.

Harm just looked at him and back at his CO, who simply
smiled weakly and turned to walk back as well. Harm
looked at Palmer's body for the last time and walked
away.

HARM'S APARTMENT 
0350 EST

He had to figure out a way to go talk to Mac now that
everything had ended. He could've sworn he heard her
talk to him the night before. He brushed it off,
thinking it was probably due to all the stress he had
been under. 

Webb had forgotten to tell Harm that Mac was at his
apartment. AJ either forgot to tell him or thought
it'd be a nice surprise for Harm.

He parked his car, but didn't notice Mac's car parked
right across the street. What he did notice however,
were all the CIA agents in front of his building. 

"What's going on?" he asked on of them

"We were just watching over the Colonel," he answered

"The Colonel? Why would you be..." he trailed off as
he figured out what the man was trying to tell him.

"Thank you" he said simply

"You're welcome, Sir" the man answered and led the
rest of the team towards their vehicles and away from
the apartment.

Harm looked sideways and saw Mac's Corvette parked
across the street. He ran into the building, up the
stairs and through the hallway. As he got closer to
the front door he noticed someone sitting there on the
floor. He recognized her immediately and quickly knelt
down in front of her. He took her face in his hands
and tried to wake her up. She was half-asleep still
and was moaning lightly as he tried to stir her awake.


"Hmmmm...Harm?"

"Yes, Sarah. I'm here, wake up" She wasn't fully awake
yet, and if she was she didn't let him know. She threw
herself at him and hugged him fiercely. He waited a
few seconds for the shock to wear off and then hugged
her back. He heard a thud behind him and turned his
head to see the object on the floor. It was that damn
book that Palmer had sent her. 

"Harm...hmmm...don't go...please..don't..leave...me.."
she kept murmuring things like this against his chest
for a few minutes. Harm's eyes were wet with tears. He
thought she hated him. He thought he would never get
her respect and friendship back, and here she was
begging him not to leave her. Of course, she was half
asleep, but it didn't matter to him. 

"Sarah, you have to wake up. Please, wake up" He
hadn't shaken her too hard because he didn't want to
startle her, but she didn't seem to show any signs of
waking up, so he shook her a little harder. 

She opened her eyes and he felt her tense slightly in
his arms. She took a minute to take in her
surroundings. She looked up at Harm and saw his tear
stricken face. She had been crying heavily as well and
he could tell. Their eyes locked and before he knew it
she was kissing him. Mac knew that words wouldn't cut
it. This was about emotions, about feelings, about
their hearts beating together as one. She had to
convince him to stay with her and not with Caroline.
The only way she could get through to him was by
showing him exactly what he meant to her. 

Harm was startled. He couldn't move. Her lips felt so
perfect against his. He knew, at that moment that he
had to make a decision. However, it had been a long
two weeks, and he was so emotionally weak that he
found it impossible to resist her. He needed to be
assured that she loved him. 

She moved her hands to his face and caressed him
tenderly as she felt him reacting to her. He moved his
lips against hers and she parted them slightly to
allow him entrance to her mouth. He gladly accepted
her invitation and soon their hands were doing as much
work as their tongues. Something in the back of his
mind reminded him that they were still in the hallway.
He broke off the kiss reluctantly and stood up,
bringing her up with him and carrying her into his
apartment. He could feel how weak she was. She hadn't
been sleeping much, and her diet definitely had
suffered a blow. He had carried her before, and she
had definitely lost weight. 

Once they were inside the apartment, he put her down
on the couch and sat next to her. He turned and looked
her straight in the eyes. She said nothing, returning
his piercing gaze.

"Harm, what's going on?" she demanded. 

Harm suddenly felt like he had to think before he
could answer and he stood up and walked away from the
couch. He turned to look at her, but at that moment,
the biggest emotion he felt was guilt. Guilt for
everything she had been through. He remembered that
book they had left on the floor outside the door. He
started walking towards the door and as if reading his
mind she spoke. 

"Don't, Harm" He stopped in his tracks. He turned
towards her and she explained. "Harm, leave it
outside. I don't want to see it ever again" she said
determined and Harm could only stare. 'How much more
amazing can this woman be?' However, the guilt he felt
over causing her so much pain was killing him inside
and he started to drift away from her. 

"Mac, Sarah...I don't...I don't think we should do
this now. You, you deserve so much better than me, and
I..well... I think you're better off if you just leave
me now. All I seem to do is cause you pain and...." He
had his back towards her, but she could see the
tension building up in his perfectly shaped shoulder
blades. She'd had enough of him and she wasn't going
to take any more. 

"How dare you!" she yelled. He winced visibly but
didn't turn around. She walked over to where he was
standing and grabbed his arm. In one swift motion she
turned him around to look at him and this time he
couldn't control his tears. They were running freely
down his cheeks. She felt her heart twisting inside of
her. She lifted her palms to his cheeks and cupped his
face wiping away his tears. 

"I heard you Harm", she simply said.

"Huh?" was all he could say, as he faked confusion and
swallowed hard. He knew what she was talking about. He
just didn't want to face it. 

"I heard you calling me Harm. Yesterday night. You
were calling me. I know it. You were saying that you
love me, and that you were sorry. You asked me if I
could hear you and I said yes. Then you asked me to
believe you, and I told you I did. Didn't you hear
me?" she said as she traced the contours of his
handsome face with her fingertips, her eyes never
leaving his. 

He remembered the exact moment he had said those words
to an empty apartment, praying that she could hear
him. He also remembered seeing her face and hearing
her beautiful voice telling him of her love and her
trust in him. It had to be a sign. This had to mean
something. It wasn't normal for two people to
communicate like this. God was trying to tell them
something. Finally tired of fighting, Harm gave in. 

"I heard you, Sarah," he whispered as his eyes grew
wide and she smiled gently.

"You also said that I was your life," she said shyly.

"I did. You are my life, Sarah" he rewarded her with a
smile of his own

"Harm, I don't know how this happened. I don't know
why Palmer is after you. I don't know why he sent me
that book or the pictures. Please Harm. Tell me it's
not true. Please, tell me you didn't mean what you
wrote. Please tell me he forced you to do it.
Please...." her voice was barely there as her tears
ran down her cheeks and she begged him to answer. 

He hugged her tight to him trying to impart all the
strength he had left to her. Words would not be enough
to take her pain away and he knew it. Her self-esteem
had been shattered, all her memories of the past six
years had been threatened and her self-confidence was
probably non-existent by now. 

"Sarah...."

"No, Harm. Don't. I won't let you run away this time.
You're not going anywhere....I'll do whatever you
want, but please don't go. If you really want to be
with Caroline, I'll deal with it, but don't tell me
you don't...."

He tried to cut her off. "Sarah, please. Listen to
me..."

She wasn't done yet. All of a sudden a thought came to
her and he noticed her indecision. What was she
thinking telling him that it was okay to be with
Caroline? She had to fight for him! She'd be damned if
she just gave him up that easily. She stepped away
from him and continued her rambling. 

"NO! You listen to me. I'll tie you down or lock you
in here if I have to, but you're not leaving. I won't
let you, Harm. I know you love me. I can feel it, and
I know you can feel my love as well. I promise you..."

He spoke a little louder and grabbed her shoulders
gently.  "I LOVE YOU," he said loud enough for her to
stop talking and look at him. She stared at him, but
the words weren't registering yet. 

"HARM! I'm not done. I won't take your excuses this
time. Even if it takes me a lifetime, I'm going to
make you..."

He had no choice. He lowered his head, stilled her
head with his large hands on either side of her face
and kissed her. She didn't respond at first. Seconds
later, she was returning the kiss. When they finally
came up for air he rested his forehead on hers and
spoke with choppy breathing.

"Did you hear what I just told you?"

"Huh?"

He smiled. "I said that I love you, Sarah. I do. I
won't run away from you anymore. I can't do it. If I
ever have to be away from you again I don't think I'll
survive," he stated kissing her nose gently. 

"What?"

"You heard me" he smiled and kissed her again softly
on the lips, caressing her face as he did so.

"You mean I won't have to go up one-on-one against
that blonde?" she said unaware she had said it out
loud, as her face reflected her determination.

Harm laughed at this and she simply looked away
embarrassed.

He noticed her discomfort and turned her face towards
him to look her in the eyes. 
"You would get into a catfight for me?" he said trying
to keep the amusement out of his voice.

She regained her composure and squared her shoulders
as she looked at him. "Harm, I'm a Marine trained for
combat. I don't do catfights," she said firmly and he
just laughed. She smiled at him and he gathered her in
his arms once again.

"My feisty Marine" he said almost to himself, as he
kissed her forehead and caressed the side of her face.
She heard him, but said nothing, only able to
concentrate on the wonderful feeling of being in the
arms of the man she loved.

A few minutes later, the events of the past two weeks
came back to her. She started speaking, never leaving
her place in his arms. 

"Harm?"

"Yes, Sarah?"

"Harm, what happened tonight? Why are you here instead
of with Caroline?" 

He sighed and tried to push her back a little so that
he could look her in the eyes. She refused and held on
to him tighter. "Don't let go Harm, please. You can
talk like this. Don't let me go"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Sarah, I never
wanted to be with her. I was NEVER with her. It was
all Palmer's plan. I had to go out with her the times
she went to the office, but it was Palmer's idea. She
was working for him"

She was confused. "She was? Why? Where did she meet
Palmer?"

"Apparently he contacted her from prison," he stopped
and sighed "Mac, Caroline was Jordan's cousin," He
heard her gasp. 

This time she pulled away from him. "You're serious?"
He nodded.

She laughed sarcastically and looked away from him.
"And I thought you had resigned your commission
because Palmer had kidnapped Caroline. I heard you
talk to Palmer on the phone Harm. Yesterday night when
I called you apartment"

"I know, sweetheart. The Admiral told me the story of
how you found out"

"The Admiral? When did you talk to him?"

He knew they had lots to talk about, but right now
they both needed to rest. "Listen, why don't you go
lie down while I take a shower, and maybe we can get
some rest. In the morning I'll tell you everything
okay?"

She looked at him for a few seconds and then nodded
her approval. Harm kissed her long and passionately
and then turned and walked towards the bathroom. She
walked around his apartment and ended up in the couch.
She looked around and then saw the stack of tapes on
top of the TV/VCR. 'Harm didn't have a TV here in the
living room before' she thought to herself. She walked
over and took one of the tapes in her hands. 

Harm came out of the shower dressed in shorts and an
old Navy shirt. He heard her sobbing softly and walked
out towards the living room. He sat next to her and
gathered her in his arms, hugging her tight to him. He
saw the TV was on and there were several tapes next to
her on the couch. He reached for the remote and turned
off the TV. His shirt was wet from her tears and he
just let her cry for a long time in his arms, knowing
exactly what she had seen. 

When she finally regained some of her composure she
sniffled and looked up at him. She caressed his face
with her soft hands and spoke. 

"Harm, I'm so sorry. I was such a bitch to you this
past week. I had no idea what Palmer was making you
do. I'm sorry I doubted you, I'm so sorry" her tears
started falling again and he wiped them away with his
thumb.

"Honey, you have nothing to apologize for. You were
the one who had to read those awful things, and see
the pictures" he couldn't stand it any longer and he
felt warm tears leave his eyes. She hugged him tight
once again and they both cried.

"Sarah, I was so scared. So scared that you wouldn't
forgive me for all I said and did"

"Shh, Harm, you have nothing to apologize for. You
were trying to protect me. Besides, no matter what you
said or did, I could always feel you inside. I tried
to deny it and I tried to ignore what I felt, but I
know you would never hurt me intentionally, and I hope
you know I'd never hurt you intentionally either"

"Of course. Sarah, I don't know exactly what to do
next. All I know is that I never want to be away from
you again. I need you right here next to me forever.
That's what I was planning on telling you that night
we were supposed to have dinner"

"Oh, Harm. I've been waiting years to hear you say
that. I love you, Harm"

"I love you too, Marine" he said and claimed her lips
in a soft but passionate kiss.

The morning came and found them wrapped in each other,
still on the couch. They had fallen asleep and it was
now time to wake up, face the day, and talk. They woke
up, had breakfast together, and then talked. Harm
explained everything and they both cried in each
other's arms. The worst part was over now. They drove
to her apartment so she could check on Jingo at take a
shower herself. 

"Hey, flyboy. You think breakfast is the only meal of
the day?" It was already 1220 and Mac's stomach was
rumbling. 

Harm laughed and kissed her forehead. "Go get changed.
I'll take you to Beltway Burgers" 

She smiled broadly at him and went into her room to
change. Ten minutes later she came out and they were
on their way. 

After lunch they drove over to the park and spent the
afternoon lying on a blanket in each other's arms.
They talked about everything and simply enjoyed being
with each other. 

When the sun started to set, they drove to her
apartment once again. Minutes later they were on the
couch, arms and legs tangled up, watching a movie.
When it was over, they clung to each other a while
longer. 

"Harm..." she started tentatively and he knew exactly
what she was thinking. He decided to spare her the
torture and spoke himself.

"Sarah, listen. I love you and this is one
relationship I can't afford to mess up. I don't know
how you want to do this, but whether you're ready or
you want to wait for us to be together, it doesn't
matter to me, as long as you're happy"

Her heart melted at his words. He was such a
gentleman, and he was all hers. How could she make him
wait? God knew she didn't want to wait herself!  

"Harm, don't you think six years of foreplay is
enough?" she said and smiled at him. He kissed her and
smiled.

"Okay. I guess I can see your point. However, would
you be disappointed if I said I wanted to wait one
more day?" he said. He saw the look of confusion in
her eyes and continued. 

"Sarah, I want our first time to be special. I want to
make you feel like no one else has before. Please, let
me do that for you" he pleaded with her and his eyes
told her how serious he was.

"Oh, Harm. I could wait forever for you. We can wait
as much as you want to" she said and wrapped her arms
around his neck and kissed it softly.

"Well, let's not take the waiting thing too seriously
all right?" he said and laughed "I just want it to be
perfect for you, and I already have it all planned"

"You do?"

"Yep, we leave tomorrow morning. So, I'll let you rest
for now. I'll be here tomorrow bright and early.
Everything is arranged with the Admiral. We have the
whole week off"

"Wow, that sounds wonderful" she said and kissed his
cheek.

He stood up to leave but she stopped him with a hand
on his wrist. He turned to look at her and saw the
look in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone. 

"Harm, I know you said you wanted to wait, but, would
it be too much to ask for you to stay and hold me
tonight? I don't want to be alone yet"

He caressed her face tenderly with his fingertips and
smiled. "Of course I'll stay with you tonight"

"Thank you" she said and led them hand in hand towards
the bedroom where they both slept comfortably in each
other's arms.

NEXT MORNING

"Good morning, Marine" he smiled

"Good morning, Sailor" she answered looking sleepily
at him.

"Are you ready to get on with our adventure?" he said
and wiggled his eyebrows at her. She laughed.

"Of course I am"

"Good. Because I'm more than ready" he finished and
brought her head down to rest against his chest,
kissing her softly on the forehead.

"Harm?"

"Hmm?"

"How long have you been awake?"  

He smiled as he figured exactly where this
conversation was going. She needed reassurance. She
was going to get it.

"Well, I was awake for about half an hour" he answered
trying to keep the amusement from his voice.

"You were?"

"Yes, I was, and do you want to know what I did all
that time?" She nodded against his chest.

"I was watching the most beautiful woman in the
universe while she was sleeping"

She smiled and kissed his chest repetitively.  "Wow,
Sailor. This is a side of you I could definitely get
used to"

"And you better get used to it. This is just the
beginning"

"Well, don't you think this woman you were watching
sleep deserves a fair hearing, Counselor? I mean she
did sleep after hours"

"Of course"

"Well, this woman you were watching sleep has an
excuse for not waking up in time. You see, she was
sleeping in the wonderful arms of the handsome sailor
she loves more than her own life. Is that a good
enough reason for her internal clock to go crazy?"

"Oh, I think it's more than good enough" he answered
as she pushed herself up and claimed his lips. 

Half an hour later they were ready to get on the road.
Harm wasn't telling her anything and she wasn't really
surprised. It was really hard to get something out of
Harm, especially when she couldn't use her seductive
tactics on him yet. He wanted to wait until that night
and she had every intention of honoring his wishes. 

VIRGINIA BEACH
1100 EST

After some time on the road, they finally arrived to
their destination. A luxurious cottage at the beach
was not what she was expecting. The place was
beautiful. 

"Harm, how did you know about this place? I didn't
know it existed"

"Well, it's property of Frank's company. I had already
called Frank and mom and told them I was going to tell
you how I feel about you, the day before the Palmer
fiasco. Mom started screaming and praising God, while
Frank got on the phone and gave me this address and
said it'd be available whenever I needed it. So, I
made a quick call yesterday and here we are"

She had to laugh at the mental picture Harm's
description of his mother made. She had never met her,
but she was sure they would definitely become good
friends. 

Once they were all settled, they got dressed and
headed out to the beach. Mac complained all the way
about being hungry, while Harm paid no attention to
her rambling. When they neared the beach shore she
understood why. 

Harm had arranged for them to have their lunch at the
beach. The food was delicious and they stayed in the
beach for hours, just talking and holding each other.
The sunset finally ended their beach day. They
gathered all their belonging, and hand in hand they
walked back towards their home for the next week. 

"All right, Marine. You are going to take a shower and
get dressed, because I'm taking you out to dinner to a
wonderful place I'm sure you'll love"

"You're taking me out to dinner too?"

"Yes I am. Don't look so surprised. I told you this
was only the beginning remember?  Now, I don't want to
hear another word until you come out here dressed and
ready to go"

"When will you get ready?"

"Right after you. It takes me a lot less time you
know?" he said teasingly.

"Oh, really? Well, I think you'll be surprised"

"Aha, right. Go on now" he said as he guided her to
the bathroom and closed the door.

When he heard the shower running, he hurried outside
to make his phone call. Mac didn't know he had brought
his cell phone with him. He kept it off the whole
time, unless he needed to make a call. This call was
definitely important. After he arranged everything, he
went back inside.

Twenty minutes later, Mac emerged from the bathroom
dressed in a simple light blue dress that flattered
her already perfect figure. Harm's jaw dropped open at
the sight and she just smiled and placed a kiss on his
cheek. 

After recovering from that vision in blue, Harm headed
towards the bathroom to get ready. He emerged a while
later, wearing kakis and a navy blue button up shirt
that accentuated his well toned body. It was her turn
to stare. Sure, he had gained a few pounds since his
crash last May, but it didn't make him any less
handsome or sexy. He was the man of her dreams--
actually, he was any woman's dream--and just to think
that in a few hours he'd be all hers was driving her
insane with anticipation.

"Ready Marine?"

"Harm, Marines are always ready," she said and he
rolled his eyes mockingly at her. She smiled.

"Come on ninja-girl. We'll be late for our
reservation" He walked towards the door right behind
her, but before she had a chance to open it she found
herself enveloped in his strong arms. He kissed her
passionately and after they came up for air, he rested
his forehead on hers and kissed her nose lovingly.

"Hmm" was all she could say.

"Did I spoil your make up?" She had to laugh at this.
"Yes you did," she said with a chuckle.

"Well, you don't need it anyway" 

She kissed him one more time and headed out the door.
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at the restaurant.
The food was delicious and the place was exquisite.
After they finished their meal, Harm paid the bill,
and they headed back home. 

"Mac, normally, I'd take you for a moonlight walk on
the beach. However, I can't wait for you to see the
surprise I have for you"

"And would that surprise have anything to do with you
and me, alone, and a bed?" she smiled seductively at
him and he felt his heart beat faster than ever
before.

"Uh, of course, well yeah, but that's not all of
it...you see..."

She smiled at his discomfort and decided to silence
him with a finger to his lips. "Shhh, Harm, I know
what you meant"

He hugged her to him right before they opened the door
to their place and whispered in her ear.

"Sarah, I love you so much. I just want to make sure
you know why I'm doing this. It's not about the sex,
even though you ARE definitely a desirable woman. It's
more than that. I've had sex with other people before,
as you have, but I'm about to make love for the first
time in my life, and I want it to be perfect, for us"

She couldn't keep her tears in check this time. He
caressed her cheek and kissed her softly. 

"Oh, Harm. I love you so much" and that's all she
managed to say before her tears inhibited her speech
ability.

"I love you too, Sarah" 

Without another word he led her inside. She gasped
when she took in her surroundings. The room was full
of red roses. There were rose petals in the floor that
led to the bed they were about to lose themselves in.
Candlelight lit the room slightly. 

She looked at him with surprised eyes and he just
smiled. He bent down and captured her lips with his
and so their amazing night began. She returned his
kiss passionately and they were soon lost in their
love for each other. 

"Harm..." she whispered breathlessly while he placed
soft kisses on her neck and jaw line.

"Yes, baby?" 

"Please, Harm. Make love to me" Her voice was barely
there as a result of the amazing sensations his hands
and lips were provoking.

She felt him smile against her skin and felt herself
being lifted up in his strong arms. He carried her to
the bed and put her down carefully, never breaking the
contact between his lips and her soft skin. His body
descended over hers and he kissed her deeply, earning
moans of pleasure from her. He started to undress her
piece by piece, and once he was done, kissed his way
down her beautiful body. 

She had enough of his assault and opened her eyes
finally to look at him. Just as she was about to
comment on his overdressed state he smiled at her and
without warning invaded the soft skin in her inner
thighs. She spread her legs instinctively, inviting
him to claim the place where she needed him the most.
He did just that, and minutes later she flew over the
edge with a soft cry of his name as she ran her
fingers through his silky hair.

As soon as she recovered the Marine in her surfaced
and she flipped him over to hover on top of him. 

"I think someone's a little overdressed here," she
said while she pressed her lips lightly to the
sensitive skin behind his ears while straddling him.
She took one ear lobe in her mouth and he gasped
audibly. He swallowed hard and tried to speak, but he
couldn't. Instead he opted for body language; his
hands touching and squeezing everywhere he could
reach.

Sensing his inability to communicate properly, Mac
locked her eyes with his and started undressing him,
slowly and tenderly, just as he had done to her. Their
eyes never left each other until she was finally done.
Her eyes traveled up and down his handsome figure as
she tried to memorize every little detail. 'God, this
man is amazing' she thought. She started to kiss her
way up from his legs towards his manhood and when she
finally arrived at her destination Harm was about to
lose control. 

"Sarah..." he whispered followed by a deep groan as he
felt her warm breath on his erection and her lips
envelop him seconds later. She continued her
ministrations, running her tongue up and down the
length of him slowly, gently sucking. 

Harm knew it wouldn't last long if he let her keep
going full speed ahead. With all the strength left in
him, he pulled her up to him and kissed her soundly
while flipping them over and settling between her
legs. 

"Oh, Harm...I love you, please, take me now"

These words made something snap inside of him and the
full meaning of what she was asking him to do dawned
on him. This woman loved him, and she was there, his
for the taking. No more misunderstandings, no more
pain, no more regrets. He knew that once they took
this final step, nothing would ever be able to
separate them ever again. 

She noticed the concentrated look on his face and for
a second wondered if she had said something wrong.
Harm noticed her hesitation and quickly recovered and
kissed her lovingly. He pulled away and locked his
eyes with hers while he buried himself deep inside her
welcoming depths. He stilled for a few moments, amazed
and overwhelmed by the feeling of completeness their
lovemaking was giving him. 

Mac had the same look on her face. She brought one of
her hands up to his face and caressed his cheek
lovingly to let him know she felt the same way. A tear
escaped his eye and she brushed it away with her
thumb. 

"You're amazing, Sarah" he whispered, his eyes still
wide with admiration of the amazing woman beneath him.

"I love you Harm," she whispered back to him.

They moved together, their bodies molding perfectly
against each other. No trace of awkwardness or
hesitation was present as he thrust deeper and faster
into her. She met his thrusts one by one while her
hands traveled up and down his back and broad
shoulders. He felt her muscles tighten around him and
he called her name in between moans of pleasure. 

They reached the peak of their lovemaking
simultaneously and succumbed to the powerful feeling
of togetherness and oneness that overwhelmed them
both. It took them longer than they expected to
recover, and when they finally did, whispers of love
and promises of forever lulled them to sleep in each
other's arms. 

Harm woke up the next morning as the sun made its way
through the window. He looked down at the wonderful
woman lying in his arms, and uttered a hushed prayer
towards heaven, thanking God for his fortune. The
events of the last two weeks ran through his mind and
he felt out of control for a second. He remembered
Palmer's words and felt nothing but relief as he
thought of how far from the truth he had been. 

Sometimes we need to fall apart in order to pick up
the pieces. Many things had been broken the past two
weeks. But just the same, other things had been
rebuilt. His ego, his pride, and the walls he had
built around his heart had been shattered, only to
make way for love and trust to take their place, and
for destiny to work its magic. After all, the best
writers always start out with rough drafts. Maybe
their lives were no different. 


THE END!!!!!!!! Well, this one was a roller coaster
ride. It took me almost three weeks to finish and I
couldn't have done it without help from my wonderful
beta readers. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope
all of you enjoyed reading it as well. Feedback is
appreciated of course..