TITLE:   "This is Not a Marriage"
  AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner 
  SUMMARY:  Missing Moments #10-this one from the
episode "Silent 
Service ".  
The tenth in a summer long series of 'in lieu of a new
JAG' stories 
wherein 
older episodes will be revisited and we'll explore
what happened that 
we did 
not get to see, or in some cases what should or could
have happened.
  DISCLAIMER:  JAG of course belongs to Paramount and
DB productions et 
al.  
No copyright infringement is intended.
  FEEDBACK:  If you would like, but never expected or
demanded.  
Feedback 
addy is ssbpmn@aol.com
  
                  NOTE:  All parts of this story, as
well as much of 
our 
other works, are available at 
              
                           
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all registered 
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users-no subbing required.  Please ignore any notice
of adult content 
you may 
see-there is no R nor NC17 content there.
              
              Other archives containing our stories:
              
                  
http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/ 
  or 
  http://www.netroenterprises.com/exlibrisjag
                             
                       or BTL-
                      
http://www.wtv-zone.com/trgarchive/btl/
                       http://destined.to/btlarchive -
{BTL, H/M 
Fanfiction 
archive.}
             
                            or the Harm-Mac shipper
archive at    
http://hmarchive.topcities.com/index2.html  [sadly,
not always up and 
running]
  *******************
 
"When He Listens to Me"

Capt. Flagler gave Harm and Mac an approving nod as
they readied to 
board 
the chopper.  "You two make a good team."

"Yes sir we do," Mac smiled.  "When he listens to me."

Harm smiled as well and gave her a gentle nudge at the
same time.  Her
teasing was music to his ears.  It had been but
forty-eight hours 
before 
that she had been dead in his arms.

"Hodge is already aboard.  I'm sure you'll have some
questions for the 
man.
And one last thank you.  I'm sure had you not found
out what was 
happening,
the death toll would have been higher."

"Just doing our jobs sir," Harm smiled.  His voice
still bore evidence 
of 
the injury, but at least he could speak without pain
unless he tried to 
keep 
up
too long of a conversation and strained it.

A seaman opened the hatch and Harm stepped through,
reaching back for 
Mac.
He repeated the same action as he boarded the chopper,
reaching down to 
help her aboard.

"We've replaced the Harmon Rabb you used to know with
a lookalike," she
mimicked as she let him pull her up.

"Cute," he grinned and his eyes fell on Hodge.  Their
tormentor's wrist 
was
chained to that of his guard, a young Petty Officer. 
Hodge shot them a
defiant glare, which Harm returned at once, the hand
he still had 
around
Mac's arm tightening involuntarily.

"Commander, Major, I'm Yorkas," the young man nodded. 
"Is this going 
to be 
a problem for you?  Having him here I mean?"

"Well he's not my first choice in a traveling
companion," Harm groused, 
"but it's OK. It's a long flight--we can start our
questions."

"Actually sir you may as well not bother," Hodge spoke
up.  "I have 
nothing
to say until I have a lawyer, which I'm planning to
ask for JAG
representation.  Are either of you interested?"

"The only thing I'm interested in is throwing the
switch that sends 
your
sorry ass to hell," Harm scowled.  "And once you're
found guilty, I 
mean to
find out how I can volunteer."

"Sir, you know the only place my sorry ass is going is
to Bethesda," he
grinned.  "I'll be spending the rest of my life eating
good food, 
watching
TV, walking in the gardens. . .and I can practice
medicine on the other 
poor devils there with me to my heart's content.

"Yorkas, if you want to gag this guy, we didn't see
nothin'," Harm 
moaned.
"What you can do please is move him down to the far
end there.  I'm 
already
getting visions of my hands around his throat."

Hearing that, Mac grasped his arm and pulled him to
the seat.  "Hey 
Flyboy,
voice usage remember.  Necessary talking only, and
threatening the 
prisoner
isn't necessary, not when you've got me to do it for
you."

Harm nodded and settled down, deliberately turning his
body away from 
Hodge
and toward Mac.  Since the incident in sick bay, he
had found himself 
staring at her.  Not meaning to but it seemed he would
now and then 
realize 
that he
had been watching her.  And it did not take a
psychologist to tell him 
why.
She had been not breathing--dead for all practical
purposes--and he was 
not
through being grateful she was spared.

"Harm you okay?" she asked. "You're spacing out on me
sailor."

"Yeah I'm fine. I'll be a lot better when we're home."

"You really don't like being on here with him do you?"
she asked as she 
looked over at Hodge.

"No I don't."

"Anything you want to talk about?' she said softly.
They hadn't spoken 
of 
what had happened but she knew it had affected him.
Her memories of the 
incident were vague, but she could still feel his arms
around her, 
hugging 
her close to him once he'd brought her back.

"It's not something I want to think about" he
whispered. "Let alone 
talk 
about it."

"Okay. But if you do you know I'm here." For emphasis
she reached for 
his 
hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

"And for that I'm eternally grateful" he murmured.
He'd come so close 
to 
losing her. Closer than he wanted to think about.

"Why don't you try and get some rest" she urged. "I'll
keep an eye on 
our 
friend and see what I can get out of him."

"Just don't get too close to him" Harm sighed.
"Please."

"Harm he's handcuffed. It's not like he's going to be
able to do 
anything. 
Would you chill sailor. You are way too uptight. Now
relax and get some 
rest."

He closed his eyes and she gently brought his head
against her 
shoulder. For 
a moment he opened his eyes and looked at her, her
brown eyes looking 
warmly 
at him.

"I thought you might like a pillow," she said softly.

"Thank you" he smiled.

He'd just drifted to sleep when the chopper lurched
and at once he was 
awake 
again.

"What's going on?" he asked as his eyes flew open and
he looked around.

"I don't know" Mac said uneasily.

Moments later the situation became all to clear as the
pilot informed 
them 
they were experiencing mechanical problems and he was
going to attempt 
to 
land at the nearest island.

"I'm going to have to unhook him" Yorkas informed Harm
and Mac. "In 
case we 
crash."

"You're going to let him loose" Harm shrieked before
his voice faded.

"I have no choice sir" Yorkas said as the chopper
started to go down.

"Harm I'm scared" Mac whispered as she clutched his
hand. "What if we 
go 
down in the water?"

"We won't" he croaked. "If we do, I'll get you out. I
won't let 
anything 
  happen to you." He looked out the window of the
chopper and realized 
Mac's 
  fears were about to come to fruition. There was no
way they would 
make the 
  island and he reached for Mac just as the chopper
headed into the 
cold icy 
  waters of the Arctic Ocean.
  
 'Harm I'm not a good swimmer," she gasped, watching
the cold water 
seemingly 
rise up to meet them.  "I'm not.  I barely passed it
in basic.  I'm 
not."
 
 "Ssshh OK.  I'm not going to let anything happen to
you," he promised, 
his 
arms going around her more fully.  He managed a look
into the cockpit 
and saw 
the pilots fighting the stick, and then saw land
looming before them.  
 
 "You think we'll make the beach?" she asked
desperately.
 
 "Might be just as well if we don't.  The water is
more forgiving."
 
 "Harm I. . . I want to tell you. . ."
 
 He put his hand on her mouth and smiled softly. 
"It'll keep."  
 
 "Crash positions back there," the pilot screamed.
 
 Mac shot Harm a panicked look and he pushed her head
down between her 
knees, 
wrapping his arm over her back and holding on to her
with a death grip.  
A 
second later the chopper hit with a vengeance,
breaking apart almost at 
once. 
 The blades flew in all directions and cold water
swamped the cabin.
 
 "Harm."  The word tore from her lips as the first
shock of the icy 
water hit 
her.  
 
 "Hodge, Yorkas, get out of here," he shouted, taking
even tighter hold 
of 
Mac and leaping from the cabin onto the strut,
bringing Mac with him.  
"Don't 
let go of me, no matter what," he hissed, getting a
good look at the 
land 
from the choppers lights.  "It's not that far.  We can
make it easy."
 
 She shook her head doubtfully but gamely moved with
him.  Neither was 
prepared for the coldness of the water.  When they
jumped from the 
strut, the 
water hit them like a brick wall, icy cold and taking
their breath away 
momentarily.
 
 "Harm I can't," she shouted, holding back instead of
starting to swim.  
"I 
can't."
 
 "Oh yeah you can," he told her fiercely.  "You can
and you will 
because I 
won't take any thing else from you.  Suck it up
Marine."
 
 "I'll try.  No promises."
 
 "I won't let you go," he warned her.  "Now.  Swim. 
Move those pretty 
legs."
 
 Too startled by his comment for any other reaction,
she willingly 
attempted 
to kick, and with a few powerful strokes of his free
arm they made a 
few 
yards progress until she went limp in his grasp, her
head going under 
as a 
wave closed over them.
 
 "Mac?  Mac what the hell is the matter with you," he
raged as he 
pulled her 
up.  "What kind of a stunt was that?  You're not
working with me here 
Marine."
 
 "I just couldn't," she panted.  "So cold."
 
 "Then don't.  I'll pull you."
 
 "No you can't.  I'll pull you under," she gasped. 
"Harm no."
 
 "Shut up and kick then.  Either way I'm not letting
you go."
     
 The knowledge that he would willing die for her
forced her to move and 
 despite the numbing of her legs she did as he
directed. Coughing and 
 shivering they finally made it to the island, landing
together in a 
heap on 
 the ground.
 
 "Mac you okay?" he panted.
 
 "Freezing but okay" she managed between chattering
teeth. "God Harm 
it's so 
 cold."
 
 "I know" he said as he drew her shivering frame
against him. "And wet 
on top 
 of it isn't going to help any."
 
 "What are we going to do?" she whispered as she
burrowed closer to 
him. 
 "We're in the middle of the Arctic Ocean."
 
 "I'm sure the pilot got off a distress signal. Help
will be here soon. 
We 
 just have to stay warm until then." With those words
he wrapped his 
arms 
 tighter around her as he looked around the island for
anywhere that 
would 
 provide some shelter from the cold.
 
 "Harm have you seen Hodge or Yorkas?" Mac asked.
 
 "Not since they got out ahead of us. They would be
here if they'd made 
it."
 
 "You think they're dead?" she whispered.
 
 "Likely" Harm sighed. "I took us the most direct path
to the island. 
If they 
 had gotten out and made it they would be right around
here."
 
 "So we're alone?" she said quietly.
 
 "I guess" he said as he looked around again. "I don't
see anyone else. 
We 
 must have been the only one's who made it to shore."
 
 "Thanks to you" she sniffled. "You saved my life
again. That's twice I 
owe 
 you for."
 
 "Well I didn't bring you back to lose you again" he
whispered. "No 
way."
 
 "I could have drowned both of us you know. And when I
realized that 
might 
 happen that's when I forced myself to move."
 
 "I wouldn't have let either of us drown. Not if I
could help it."
 
 "Harm someone will find us right?" she whispered as
she shivered 
against 
 him. "We didn't make it to land just to freeze to
death did we."
 
 "I hope not" he said quietly as he hugged her
tighter. "Because 
there's 
 still a lot of things left I want to do in this
world. Like tell the 
woman I 
 love that I love her."
 
 "Jordan?" Mac sniffled.
 
 "No. Sarah Mackenzie."
 
 "Okay my ears must be water logged because I could
have sworn you just 
said 
 my name."
 
 "I did" he said with a small smile. "I don't love
Jordan. I love you. 
Course 
 I didn't realize it until the other night when I
thought I'd lost you 
 forever. When you died in my arms."
 
 "I was wasn't I?" she said quietly. "And then
suddenly your arms were 
around 
 me and I knew everything was going to be okay."
 
 "After I'd died a thousand deaths thinking I wasn't
going to get you 
back" 
 he whispered. "Those were the most horrible moments
of my life. I have 
never 
 been so scared as I was then."
 
 "You were afraid of losing me?"
 
 "Afraid that you would never know how much I loved
you" he said 
softly.

"Oh Harm I. . ." she tried, and violent shivering as
the cold 
penetrated to 
her core stole her words.

"Sshh OK no more talking," he told her firmly.  "We've
got to get a 
fire 
going here somehow."  His gaze fell on the chopper
wreckage bobbing in 
the 
surf and he gave her one final quick hug.  "I'm going
to see if the 
first aid 
box survived the crash.  There should be matches."

"You're going back out there in that water?" she
shrieked.  "No way.  I 
won't 
let you." 

"Hey if I don't, you and I are going to die of
hypothermia before a 
rescue 
team can get in here and I'm not going to let that
happen.  I said 
something 
very important to you a few minutes ago and I'm
planning to stick 
around so 
we can get back to that.  See if you can bring some
wood down here to 
the 
beach.  Just be careful.  I'll be right back."

She could only shake her head as the cold seemed to
penetrate ever 
further 
within her.

A quick kiss to her forehead and he was gone, plunging
back into the 
frigid 
water, his eyes on his goal.  

Part 2 follows immediately


Disclaimers and such in part 1


For Mac, the sand several yards back from the surf was
littered with 
wood and 
despite her fingers that were too frozen to move, she
was able to 
gather an 
armful.  She dropped it onto the sand and at once
scanned the water for 
Harm, 
spotting him a moment later making his way toward her.
 Movement to one 
side 
of him caught her eye and she turned in that
direction.  

"Hodge."  The word came in the form of a scream of
warning to Harm, for 
the 
man who had tried to kill them before was bearing down
on him from 
behind.  
Somehow he had survived the crash and the water, and
was now about to 
extract 
his vengeance.

She screamed Harm's name once again and started for
them just as Hodge 
sprang 
from the chest-deep water, landing square on Harm's
back and pushing 
him 
forward.  The breath knocked from him by the blow,
Harm was face down 
and not 
moving.  

With murderous intent, Hodge closed his hands around
his throat from 
above, 
his thumbs pressing inward on an already injured area.

Acting purely on adrenaline and with instinct and
training helping, 
Mac's 
hand closed around one of the pieces of wood.  She
grabbed it and 
without 
thinking, tore into the water, heading for the two
men, the club behind 
her 
back.

"Let him go Hodge.  Now."  Her scream was carried by
the wind and Hodge 
looked up laughingly.  

"I may be going to die in this frigid ocean, but it's
your fault.  If 
you'd 
never come to the Watertown. . ."  He left his
sentence unfinished as 
he 
applied renewed pressure to Harm's throat.  

Without hesitation Mac drew closer, ignoring that her
legs were too 
numb to 
feel any longer.  She brought the wood out from behind
her, and holding 
it 
like a baseball bat, she swung with all her might at
the back of 
Hodge's head.

Wood connected with target with a resounding whap. 
Her blow landed at 
the 
base of Hodge's skull.  He froze for a full second and
for a long 
moment his 
eyes locked with hers, open and staring in death until
his body gave in 
and 
he collapsed into an onrushing wave.

Harm had not moved, still face down in the water and
she screamed his 
name 
yet another time as she wrapped her arms around his
middle and tried to 
lift 
him to her.
  
 "Harm" she wailed as she somehow managed to lift his
head from the 
water and 
 with a sob realized he wasn't breathing. With
desperation overwhelming 
her 
 she somehow managed to drag him out of the water to
the shore. She lay 
him 
 on the ground and forced herself to calm as she
gently tilted his head 
back 
 and placed her mouth over his and began rescue
breaths.
 
 "Harm don't do this to me" she pleaded between
breaths. "Don't you 
dare die 
 on me."
 
 With renewed effort she started again, not willing to
let him die. Not 
when 
 he'd admitted that he loved her. Not when they still
had so much left 
 unspoken.
 
 To her undying relief he finally coughed and at once
she helped him to 
a 
 sitting position, her arms wrapped firmly around him.
 
 "Easy sailor. Slow deep breaths. I've got you. You're
going to be 
okay." Her 
 words ended with a small sob and she choked back
tears as she realized 
she'd 
 almost lost him.
 
 He turned to face her, his mouth opening but no words
coming from his 
 further damaged vocal cords. He tried again, barely
managing to squeak 
out 
 her name.
 
 "Oh god Harm" she whispered. "I almost lost you. You
were dead. And I 
didn't 
 get the chance to tell you that I loved you too."
 
 His eyes said everything his voice couldn't and
before either of them 
could 
 stop themselves, they were in each other's arms. Her
lips found his 
again, a 
 long kiss ensuing until the need for air made him
pull away.
 
 "Sorry" she whispered as he took in a deep breath.
 
 "Okay" he managed in a barely audible voice. "Love
you too."
 
 "Don't talk" she said softly as she placed her finger
to his lips. 
"Hodge 
 probably damaged something more."
 
 He nodded and shivered violently at the same time and
at once she 
realized 
 they needed to get the fire started before they both
froze to death. 
She 
 hugged him tightly for a moment before heading to the
water, the kit 
Harm 
 had been carrying now floating near the shore. He
followed her and 
together 
 they made their way to where she'd gathered the wood.
 
 "Please let there be matches in here" she prayed
between chattering 
teeth.
 
 To both their relief there was and minutes later
they'd managed to get 
a 
 small blaze going. He wrapped his arms around her and
together they 
sat as 
 near the fire as they could.

"My clothes are like ice," she said finally, trying to
stop her 
chattering 
teeth long enough to talk.

He nodded, edging them closer to the fire.  "Just hang
on Mac, please.  
They're coming."

"You know that for a fact do you?  And don't strain
your voice any more 
please.  If you think I'm going to do all the openings
and closings 
from now 
on you'd better think again."

He smiled softly and pressed her to him, opening his
coat as best he 
could to 
attempt to cocoon her inside with him.

"They're coming," he croaked a few minutes later. 
"The pilots had 
plenty of 
time to get off a mayday and throw the ELB switch. 
Just pray they find 
us 
before dark."

He did not have to elaborate for her to know what he
meant.  The 
temperature 
would drop even further, and drastically cut their
survival chances.

He began to rock her gently, his lips pressed to her
temple.  Despite 
their 
desperate situation, there was a feeling of peace
coming over her.  He 
had 
told her he loved her, and she had responded in kind. 
It was in the 
open; 
what they had held too long hidden in their hearts had
been spoken 
between 
them.  They would move on from there.

An hour passed and Harm realized she was leaning
heavily on him, almost 
dead 
wait, as if she was. . ."Mac are you awake?" he
demanded as loudly as 
he 
could.  With quick maneuvering, he managed to get face
to face with her 
and 
knew she was not.  He had allowed her to fall asleep,
thus hastening 
hypothermia insidious approach.  "Dammit," he shouted,
ignoring the 
pain that 
shot through his throat.  "OK Marine this is not
acceptable.  You will 
wake 
up immediately."  In desperation he gave her a sharp
shake and she 
managed to 
get her eyes open.

"Let me sleep Harm," she mumbled.  "I want to sleep."

"If you sleep you might not ever wake up," he growled.
 "You've been to 
enough survival you know that."  The pain in his
throat became 
unbearable and 
he grabbed his neck with one hand while he shook her
again and before 
she had 
time to refuse, rose and pulled her to her feet. 
"March you worthless 
excuse 
for an officer," he hissed.  "March.  I'm not going to
watch you die."  

He got behind her and locked his arms around her
middle, forcing her 
legs to 
move.  

"Fire.  Need the fire," she gasped.

"No.  March."

For the next twenty minutes he dragged her in a circle
around the fire, 
keeping her legs moving, shaking her as best he could
to keep 
circulation 
moving.  It was at that point his own strength gave
out.  His arms 
released 
her and she fell forward at once, with him landing on
top of her.  In 
his 
last gasp of strength he inched them toward the fire,
enclosing her as 
fully 
in his embrace as possible, and from there blackness
took over.
================
The Search and Rescue chopper swung in low over the
water under the 
skilled 
hands of its pilot.  Ensign Blake Culver knew what he
was doing, 
knowledge 
gained from long hours of experience and training.  At
the same time he 
knew 
that the chances of anyone being alive were. . .

His partner, Ensign Chris Mattingly, grabbed his arm,
shaking him 
firmly.  
"Blake, that's wreckage down there and. . oh yeah,
look on the beach."  
At 
once the chopper dove as Chris picked up the mike,
calling excitedly.  
"Red 
Dog leader, Puppy-four here.  We've found them."
    
  Culver nodded and skillfully guided to the chopper
to the beach, 
gently 
  landing a few seconds later. At once Mattingly
jumped from the 
chopper, 
  hurrying over to the pair that lay by the burned out
fire. He was 
checking 
  pulses when his partner reached him a few seconds
later.
  
  "Are they alive?"
  
  "I've got pulses on both of them. Weak but
considering I wasn't even 
  expecting that I'll take it. But we're going to need
to hustle if 
they're 
  going to make it."
  
  Mattingly nodded and at once moved to help him lift
Harm first.  
Together 
  they carried him to the chopper, gently laying him
on the floor. 
Culver 
  quickly reached for the blankets while Mattingly
returned for Mac. 
With 
ease 
  he picked her up and moments later she too was
aboard the chopper.
  
  ***************
  Harm's first conscious thought was Mac. He opened
his mouth to scream 
her 
  name only to have nothing come out. He forced his
eyes open, looking 
around 
  him for Mac. It was then that he realized that they
were no longer on 
the 
  island. That he was somewhere warm and dry. But
where was Mac?
  
  He tried to call for her but again nothing came out.
With growing 
  frustration and worry that something had happened to
her, he forced 
himself 
  to a sitting a position. There were piles of
blankets over him and he 
  finally managed to push them all away. Despite the
IV in his hand, he 
swung 
  his legs over the side of the bed, determined to
find Mac. Fear that 
she 
  hadn't survived began to overwhelm him. He tried to
keep her awake. 
But 
  maybe it had been too late.
  
  "Commander where in the hell do you think you're
going" the corpsman 
asked 
  as he hurried into the room. With a gentle push he
forced Harm back 
against 
  the pillows and returned the pile of blankets over
him. "You are in 
no 
  condition to be moving sir. Hypothermia is nothing
to mess with."
  
  "Mac" Harm finally managed to croak out.
  
  "Your partner" the corpsman nodded. "Yes she's here
as well. We were 
afraid 
  she wasn't going to make it at first.  But she's
starting to turn the 
corner 
  and Captain Muller is optimistic she's going to be
okay."
  
  "Need to see her" Harm whispered. "Please."
  
  "Not yet. You're not ready to be out from under
those warming 
blankets yet. 
  Just give it a few more hours and then we'll see how
you're both 
doing."
  
  Harm shook his head that that was unacceptable and
the corpsman gave 
him a 
  long look. "Sir, I'm sorry but that's the orders
from Captain 
Muller."
  
  "No" Harm croaked.
  
  "Look it's just a few more hours. Then you can see
her."
  
  The little activity he'd done has zapped his
strength and with a long 
sigh 
  he leaned back tiredly against the pillows. He
immediately sent a 
prayer 
  heavenward, praying that she was in fact going to be
okay. The fact 
that 
  they hadn't been sure she was going to make it had
send a chill 
through him
  and he prayed the corpsman hadn't just told him she
was okay so he 
wouldn't 
  worry.
  
  "Please lord" he whispered. "I love her. I can't
lose her."
  
  With that prayer on his lips, his eyes dropped shut
again.
  
 At the other end of the hall Mac managed to get her
eyes open.  That 
she was 
warm and dry was the first thing she was aware of. 
That Harm was not 
holding 
her was the second.  Her hands groped, not able to
move far under the 
cocoon 
of warming blankets.  She opened her mouth to holler
for assistance 
just as 
the door to the room opened.  
 
 "Major I could see by my monitors at the desk you're
doing better," 
the 
grandmotherly woman smiled.  "You gave us quite a
scare."
 
 "Am I OK?" she asked timidly.
 
 "You're doing a helluva lot better than a few hours
ago," she assured 
her.  
"We were having a hard time stabilizing your BP, but
the fact that you 
started in such good health kept you going.  You have
some minor frost 
bite 
and as soon as your temperature, with your BP and your
heart rate, all 
normalize, you can get up."
 
 "Thanks.  I'm not one to. . .Harm?"  The word tore
from her.  "The man 
I was 
with.  Harmon Rabb.  Where is he?"  Before the nurse
could answer, Mac 
started to push the blankets away.
 
 "No ma'am that's not going to happen," she said
firmly.  "He's right 
down 
the hall, and he's sleeping.  He was whining for you
earlier too."
 
 "Then he's OK?" she gasped.
 
 "Actually he was brought in in better shape than
you," she smiled.  "I 
take 
it he's more than a colleague you work with?"
 
 "Yes ma'am," Mac blushed.  "We're still trying to
figure it out, but 
more 
for sure."
 
 "Good for you honey," she laughed.  "Just think good
thoughts and get 
some 
rest.  What they're dripping into you will help with
that."
 
 Mac nodded, feeling her eyes wanting to close.
 ================
 "I love you Sarah."  
 
 She was having that dream again.  The one where Harm
is holding her 
hand and 
telling her that he loved her.
 
 A slow smile came across her face.  "Love you too,"
she murmured and 
she 
felt her hand being squeezed.  "Love you. . ."  This
was no dream.  
Harmon 
Rabb was there, warm and alive, and telling her those
words.  Her eyes 
flew 
open, immediately meeting his as he hovered over her,
his face but a 
few 
inches from his.
 
 "What a nice way to wake up," she murmured again. 
"Thank you."
     
"You're welcome" he whispered hoarsely. . "I'm so glad
you're okay. You 
had 
  me scared Marine. I was afraid I was going to lose
you again."
  
  "Never" she said softly. "Are you okay?"
  
  "I'm fine" he assured her. "Of course I'm going to
be limited on 
talking 
for 
  a while. But right now there are a few things I need
to say. Starting 
with 
I 
  love you very much Sarah Mackenzie."
  
  "I love you too. And I think I owe you for saving my
life last night. 
I was 
  giving in and you wouldn't let me."
  
  "You saved my life earlier" he reminded her. "So
we're even."
  
  "I killed Hodge didn't I?" she whispered.
  
  "I'm sorry you had to but I'm not sorry he's dead."
  
  "I didn't really mean to kill him," she said
quietly. "I just wanted 
to get 
  him away from you before it was too late."
  
  "Honey you did what you had to do. It's not your
fault. He was a 
psycho. 
You 
  probably saved someone from being hurt by down the
road."
  
  She nodded, knowing he was right. But like the time
in the mountains 
when 
  she'd killed the poacher, it wasn't easy to live
with the fact she'd 
taken 
  another's life. Course there was no doubt in her
mind that she would 
do it 
  again if it meant saving Harm's life.
  
  "You okay?" he asked.
  
  "Yeah I'll be okay with it. It just takes time. He
would have killed 
you if 
  I hadn't done it. And I couldn't lose you."
  
  "Just like I couldn't lose you," he said softly.
  
  "Harm what about Jordan?" she asked. "I mean you
told me last night 
that 
you 
  loved me and not her."
  
  "And I meant that. And when we get back I'm going to
sit down and 
tell her 
  the truth. That all the time I've been with her I've
been secretly in 
love 
  with my partner."
  
  "She's going to hate you" Mac sighed.
  
  "Yeah and she has a right to. I've kind of been
leading her along the 
past 
  few months."
  
  "Did you love her at all?"
  
  "Not really" he admitted. "I mean I care for her but
I was never in 
love. I 
  never had the feelings for her that I have for you."
  
  "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you
say that" she 
smiled. 
  "And I want to talk more but right now but I can
tell you're pushing 
your 
  voice and I don't want you to make it any worse."
  
  "Promise we'll talk more later" he whispered.
  
  "Promise. And I don't want you to leave but I know
you need to rest 
too."

Part 3 follows immediately.

Disclaimers and such in part 1----


  "Who says we can't share?" he smiled as he motioned
for her to scoot 
over 
on 
  the bed.
  
  "Great idea Commander" she sighed when they'd
finally gotten settled. 
Her 
  head lay on his chest, his arm gently stroking her
hair.
  
  "You'll have to explain this to the corpsman. I
don't have that much 
voice 
  left."
  
  "Just wake me when he comes" she whispered as her
eyes dropped closed 
again.
 
 "Parsons what the hell is going on in there?" 
Corpsman Flanders 
nodded to 
his co-worker through the open door.  "Do we have a
bed shortage I 
don't know 
about or what?"
 
 "Do I look like the Answer Man?" Parsons sputtered. 
"Who is that?  
And how 
did he get in there?"
 
 "He's got a hospital ID on.  Obviously he's a
patient," Flanders 
sighed.  
"Which I guess might explain the empty bed in 212 come
to think of it.  
All I 
know is Dr. Rubenstein isn't going to want to do
morning exams with 
them 
together, so you and me are going to to have to go
move the man back 
where he 
belongs."
 
 "Unarmed?"
 
 Parsons shot him a withering glare.  "Let's just do
it.  Rubenstein 
doesn't 
like fooling around and you know it's going to be our
fault."
 
 Flanders made a growling noise and walked into the
room, checking 
Harm's ID 
bracelet and shaking his head.  "Commander Rabb.  Sir,
you're going to 
need 
to get back into your own bed for morning rounds."
 
 "Huh what? I'm. . ."  Harm attempted to sit up and
realized the weight 
on 
his chest was his partner, the woman with whom he was
in love.  His 
hand went 
to this throat as it protested the first words to be
uttered in several 
hours 
and he kissed Mac's cheek, giving her arm a gentle
shake.  "Honey 
sorry.  
They want me to go back to my room.  Are you going to
be OK?"
 
 "Harm," she murmured groggily, "You have to go?"
 
 "Yeah they're making me un-ass," he croaked.  "I'll
be back as soon as 
I 
can."  Gently he pushed her up from him and put his
mouth to her ear.  
"Love 
you."
 
 "Love you," she smiled and rubbed her cheek to his as
he slowly got 
off the 
bed.  "Come back and have breakfast with me."
 
 "Promise," he smiled and allowed Flanders to take his
arm, walking him 
out.  
They had just reached the door when Mac let out a
sharp cry of alarm.
 
 "Harm?  Harm where are you?  I can't see.  Oh god
Harm it's all dark 
and 
fuzzy.  HARM?"  
 
 By the time her voice had risen to near-shriek level,
he was back at 
her 
side, holding her face between gentle palms.  "Mac I'm
right here," he 
said 
softly, hating that he was not able to make his voice
calming, not that 
he 
felt that way.  He was in fact approaching abject fear
as what she was 
saying 
registered.
 
 Both corpsmen hurried to the bedside, each
instinctively reaching for 
her, 
only to have her cling to Harm in her distress.
 
 "Ma'am do you have any idea what could be affecting
your eyes?" 
Parsons 
asked gently.
 
 "Hodge," she gasped.  "He sprayed me with ammonia but
they cleaned 
them on 
the Watertown and they were OK.  I mean they were
hurting some last 
night but 
I didn't think much. . .God I'm blind.  Help me
please."
 
 "Mac you are not blind," Harm said fiercely.  "We're
going to get it 
fixed.  
Guys please.  Please get her some help."  With that he
wrapped his arms 
around her, as if his embrace could remedy the
problem.  "I need a 
doctor 
here now," he screeched, closing his eyes against the
pain in his 
throat.
 
 "Both of you calm now please," Flanders begged and
gestured to Parsons 
to 
get help.
 
 "I can't calm down," she wailed.  "I'm blind.  Blind
you hear me?"
 
 Harm tightened his grasp of her, rocking her
awkwardly as he looked 
pleadingly to the young corpsman.
 
 A few minutes later Parsons returned, panting hard. 
"OK they've 
called in 
the ophthalmologist but it's going to be about forty
before he can get 
in.  
Mr. Rabb let's get you back to your room for your
morning exam while 
Major 
Mackenzie rests and waits."  As he spoke he reached
for Harm's arm and 
Mac 
clung to him even more tightly.
 
 "Take your hand off me.  Now." Harm hissed.  "You'll
be one sorry 
corpsman 
if you try to make me leave her just now."
  
  "Okay fine" Parsons sighed. "You can explain
everything to Doctor 
  Rubenstein. Except that you're not supposed to be
talking."
  
  "I'm not leaving her" Harm repeated. "Now go about
your duties and 
leave us 
  alone until the ophthalmologist gets here."
  
  The corpsman walked out shaking his head and Harm
let out a long 
sigh.
  
  "Harm I'm scared" Mac whispered as she clung to him.
"What if I 
really am 
  blind?"
  
  "You won't be. You're going to be fine. Just try and
relax until the 
doctor 
  gets here."
  
  She was still clinging to him when the young woman
Harm guessed to be 
the 
  ophthalmologist came in.
  
  "Commander, I'm Lt. Commander Jenkins. I'm going to
take a look at 
Major 
  Mackenzie's eyes now."
  
  Harm nodded and gently turned Mac's head so that the
doctor could 
look at 
  them.
  
  "Parsons said she'd gotten ammonia in her eye" the
doctor said as she 
looked 
  at Mac's eyes. "Is that correct?"
  
  "Yes ma'am" Harm managed.
  
  "Okay. We're going to need to get these washed out
again and then 
we'll 
keep 
  them bandaged so they have a chance to heal
properly."
  
  "But she's going to be okay right?" Harm whispered.
  
  "I don't see why not" she assured him with a smile.
"And I'm sorry 
but 
  you're going to have to let go of her so I can take
her to get those 
eyes 
  treated. And I know Dr. Rubenstein is very anxious
to take a look at 
you 
and 
  that throat."
  
  "I want to stay with her" Harm sighed.
  
  "I know. And as soon as I'm done with her she'll be
all yours again. 
I 
  promise."
  
  "Harm it's okay" Mac spoke up quietly, a little of
the Marine in her 
  returning. "I'll be okay. And you need to let the
doctor look at you 
too."
  
  "You'll be okay?" he whispered. "If you want me to
stay with you I 
will. 
  I'll just whine and complain enough so that they
have no choice but 
to let 
  me."
  
  "No it's okay" she whispered. "I want to know you're
going to be okay 
too."
  
  "Okay Major let me help you" Lt. Commander Jenkins
said as she 
reached for 
  Mac. "I promise I'll take good care of her
Commander."
  
  "I love you" he whispered before letting go of Mac.
"You're going to 
be 
  fine."
  
  "Love you too" she murmured before taking Jenkins
hand and allowing 
her to 
  lead her from the room.
  
  "Ahh there you are Commander" an older gentleman
said as he walked 
into the 
  room a few seconds after Mac and Lt. Commander
Jenkins had left. "Do 
you 
  think we might be able to go back to your room now
so I can take a 
look at 
  you?"
  
  "Do not talk to me like I'm five," he returned.  "We
can do that.  
But 
someone better let me know if Major Mackenzie needs
me."
 
 "She'll be fine.  I saw them in the hallway.  Her and
Lt. Cdr. 
Jenkins.  I 
take it she's got a problem developed with her eyes."
 
 "Yeah she does, and it's a good thing that lousy
bastard who did it to 
her 
is dead or I'd be on his ass like. . "
 
 "Commander, with due respect, shut up, and let me get
a good look at 
you."
 ===========
 An hour later Harm was pacing in front of the nurses'
station.  No 
amount of 
persuasion would send him back to his room.  Finally
in total 
frustration he 
banged his fist on the desk in front of the young
woman.  "Goddammit 
who do I 
have to kill to get some information around here," he
exploded.  "Ma'am 
please.  Please can you find out the story on Major
Mackenzie.  She 
went with 
the eye doctor hours ago."
 
 "Sixty-two minutes Flyboy," Mac called softly from
behind him.  "And 
you 
mister are not supposed to be yelling like that."
 
 Harm took a long breath and turned around slowly,
expecting to see her 
in 
bandages but still not prepared.  Lt. Cdr. Jenkins
herself was leading 
her 
back.  "Sarah honey," he gasped and closed the
distance to her.  "How 
are 
you?  Doctor she's OK?  Her eyes are OK?  Or at least
they will be soon 
right?  She's not going to be blind is she?"
 
 "Not very likely," the doctor assured him, laying a
calming hand on 
his arm. 
 "There was some swelling and inflammation that wasn't
obvious at 
first.  
I've washed them and instilled drops and we'll be
doing that every four 
hours 
for the next twenty-four.  Keeping them bandaged and
away from light 
and use 
will go a long way to helping the healing process."
 
 Harm swallowed hard.  "OK thanks."  With no
hesitation he took  her in 
to 
his arms.  "Marine you've got to stop scaring me like
this.  I'm not a 
young 
man."
 
 Both Mac and Jenkins laughed and Mac relaxed in his
grasp.
 
 "Doctor as you can see I'm in good hands.  Thank
you."
 
 "You are in very good hands," she smiled.  "Hands
that belong to a 
handsome 
Sailor.  You busy for dinner Mr. Rabb?"
 
 "You bet I am," he smiled.  "I've got to cut up the
patient's meat."
 
 His arm tightly across her back, Harm took Mac back
to her room, 
helping her 
into bed and without waiting to be invited crawled in
after her.  Only 
then 
did she allow herself to let down her Marine guard and
she held tightly 
to 
him.  "I'm scared Harm.  And if anyone asks I'll deny
I said it, but to 
you I 
can.  I'm scared.  She told me not to be, but I am. 
I'm sorry."

  "It's okay" he soothed. "There's nothing to be sorry
about. Just 
relax. 
 Everything is going to be fine."
 
 With those comforting words and his warm arms around
her, she fell 
back 
 asleep, him following not long afterward.
 
 "Quite a pair aren't they?" Parsons smiled as he and
Flanders looked 
in on 
 their patients.
 
 "Considering the shape they were in when the SAR team
found them, I'm 
not 
 surprised. Only love and someone from above got them
through that."
 
 ****************
 Twenty Fours Hours Later
 
 "Okay Major relax" Lt. Cdr. Jenkins said as she
carefully removed the 
 bandage.
 
 "Mac she said relax not break my hand" Harm teased as
Mac clutched his 
hand 
 nervously.
 
 "Sorry" Mac said with a long sigh as she slightly
relaxed her hold on 
his 
 hand.
 
 Moments later the bandages were removed and all let
out a sigh of 
relief 
 when Mac looked over at Harm.
 
 "God it is so good to see you again" she whispered
and at once he 
pulled her 
 into his arms.
 
 "See I told you it was going to be okay" he said
softly.
 
 "I'll leave you two alone" Jenkins smiled as she
walked out.
 
 "Thank you" Mac said softly. "For everything. I think
we learned a lot 
about 
 each the past few weeks haven't we."
 
 "If you mean how much we mean to each other yeah" he
nodded. "And I'm 
sorry 
 I was such a jerk while we were on the Watertown. You
wanted to talk 
and I 
 kept pushing you away."
 
 "You said and I quote, 'This is not a marriage'."
 
 "Maybe one day it will be" he said with a small
smile. "Because we 
both know 
 there's something there Sarah. Something a lot more
than just being 
 partners."
 
 "Yes there is" she whispered. "This isn't going to
change right? When 
we go 
 back to JAG it's still going to be like this isn't
it."
 
 "Yes ma'am. Of course one of the first things I need
to do when we get 
back 
 is tell Jordan the truth."
 
 "Are you going to tell her why?" Mac asked.
 
 "Of course. She probably knows anyway. Or at least
suspects. Annie 
did. She 
 once asked me if I was secretly in love with you. Or
course I denied 
it but 
 she was right on the head."
 
 "Secretly in love" Mac smiled.
 
 "It's not a secret anymore Major" Harm whispered
before their lips met 
in a 
 meaningful kiss.
 
 
 The End