Title: The Little Girl

Author: Nicole Carter

Category: S

Rating: PG language

Spoilers: anything about Mac’s childhood.

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, but, Don, can I buy Harm
off of you?

Summary: A case reminds Mac of her childhood. 



1500 hours

JAG HQ 



“Your new case is in Yuma, Arizona. A Marine Corporal
was accused of physically abusing his two daughters.
Rabb, MacKenzie, you will be prosecuting. Roberts, you
and Lieutenant Singer will be defending.”

“Lt. Singer, Sir?” Bud whined.

AJ frowned. “Yes, Lieutenant. Do you have a problem
with that?”

“No, Sir!”

“Good. Dismissed.” 



1400 hours

Yuma, Arizona 



Mac stepped off the military transport and smiled.
“Ahhh. Home sweet heat.” She joked.

Harm groaned as the wave of heat hit him. “How do
people stand it?” he muttered.

Mac poked Harm in the ribs. “Squids,” she said, “no
tolerance for the heat. This is nice weather, Harm.”

“It’s gotta be 100 degrees in the shade!”

“Yeah. So?”

“Sir, Ma’am?” Bud interrupted. “We should probably get
going.”

Mac grinned. “Right.” 



Mac knocked on the office door. “Enter!” the voice
inside called. Mac opened the door and stepped in,
Harm by her side. “Colonel Daniels?”

The man at the desk looked up. “Sarah!” he exclaimed.
“Good God, girl! What brings you here?” The Colonel
stood up and came around the desk, enveloping Mac in a
hug.

Mac pulled away after a moment. “This is Commander
Harmon Rabb, Jr., my partner. We’re on a JAG
investigation of Corporal Winters.”

Colonel Daniels seemed to notice Mac’s uniform only
then. He frowned. “Are you sure you can handle it,
Sarah? For what I heard and what Consuelo told me, the
situation is very much like your own was.”

Mac’s face went pale. Her voice was strained as she
said, “I’m sure I can handle it, James. I’m not that
little girl any more.”

Daniels smiled. “I can see that. All right, what do
you need?”

“Can you tell me where the Winters’ live?”

“They don’t live on base.”

“All right. Do you know where they live?”

“Yes. And so do you. I believe you can find the way?”
Daniels gave Mac a significant look, and Mac’s face
went pale again.

“Yeah.” Mac whispered. “I can find the way.” 



“Mac? What was that about?” Harm asked once they were
in the car.

“Colonel James Daniels in the father of my elementary
school best friend, Consuelo. I told Consuelo
everything about me and my family, and she told her
dad. But I made her promise not to, so she didn’t tell
him until my father was in the brig and I had run away
with Chris. Needless to say, James is quite protective
of me, especially about my childhood.” Mac turned the
car into a dirt driveway. “And here we are. Winters’
residence, and ex-residence of the MacKenzie family.
Come on, Harm.” 



Mac knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal a
16-year-old teenage girl, dressed in provocative
clothing.

“Yeah?”

“I’m Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie, and this is my
partner, Commander Rabb. We’re here on a JAG
investigation of Corporal Winters.”

“Come in. Colonel Daniels told us to expect you. He
just didn’t tell us that Sarah MacKenzie would be one
of the lawyers. I’m Shannon. I’ll get Stephanie.”
Shannon turned toward the stairs. “Stevie! Come on
out! The JAGs are here!” On the side of the stairs, a
section of the wall was pushed out, and a young girl
crawled out and stood up, pushing the section of wall
back. “Come on. We can talk in the living room.”
Shannon led the small group to a room just off the
main hallway.

Mac and Harm sat down on the couch, and Mac took a
moment to look around. “It hasn’t changed.” She
commented quietly. The walls were still mustard
yellow; the carpet still burnt orange, although there
were a few more stains on the worn fabric than she
remembered. Beer cans and vodka and whiskey bottles
littered the floor and dirty clothing was strewn over
every flat surface.

Mac sighed and got down to business. “Can you tell us
what happened?”

Shannon looked at Mac with a piercing gaze. “Imagine
your own life if August 29th hadn’t happened.”

“How do you know about that?” Mac whispered.

Shannon turned to Stephanie. “Stevie, go get the
book.”

Stephanie nodded and ran back under the stairs. She
emerged a few moments later, clutching a worn binder
and handed it to Shannon.

Shannon looked at the book. “I found this when I was
nine. Stevie was only a year old, and I read it to her
when she was old enough to understand. But now that
you’re here, I’m giving it back to you.” With that,
Shannon handed the book at Mac.

Mac looked at the binder in her hands. “Oh my God.
This can’t be happening.”

Harm looked at Mac, concerned. “Mac? What is it?”

Mac met Harm’s eyes. “My diary. I started it when I
was six, and maintained it until I ran away with
Chris.”

“We’ll talk about this later?”

Mac nodded, then turned to Shannon and Stephanie once
again, all Marine. 



Three days later

1300 hours

Courtroom 



“Corporal Joel Winters, on all charges specified, you
are found guilty as charged.” 



Two days later

2100 hours

Mac’s apartment 



Mac silently handed the binder to Harm. Earlier, she
had checked to see if all of the papers were there.
Upon her satisfaction, Mac had invited Harm over for
dinner and after she had planned to let Harm read the
diary. Knowing that the diary would be too long to
read straight through, Mac had only put the most
important pages back in the binder.

Harm looked at Mac questioningly.

“Go ahead. I want you to know how I grew up. To know
the real me. To know who I was.”

Harm nodded and opened the binder. Mac bit her lip as
Harm started to read. 

 

 



October 18, 1973 (six years old) 



I’m six now. Momma said I should try to write ‘bout my
life. So I am. Dunno why, though. Momma says my time
is getting’ better. I’m within three minutes, now.
Daddy wasn’t drunk today. He said it was ‘cuz his
“baby girl” was gettin’ older. But he was drunk last
year. Daddy’s really nice when he’s not drunk. He
makes me feel nice. But momma said not to think that
daddy’ll not be drunk lots. She says that it’s not the
way it is. 



August 27, 1975 (7 years old) 



Momma came home real happy today. She says she’s gonna
have a baby. I’m gonna have a little sister or
brother. I hope it’s a girl. I don’t want a brother.
Boys got cooties. 

 



Harm smiled. “’Boys got cooties’?”

Mac just blushed. 

 



Momma says she’s gonna tell daddy some time soon.
Maybe tomorrow. 



August 29, 1975 (7 years old) 



Today was the worst day of my life! When daddy got
home, momma told him about the baby. He said bad stuff
and hit her. He thought she was having an… um… an
affair. And that the baby wasn’t his. He hit her lots.
He hit her where the baby was and she yelled. So he
hit her more. Then momma started to bleed. It’s always
bad when momma bleeds. An’ daddy started yelling about
how he was sorry. But I know he wasn’t. If he was,
he’d stop. He took momma to the hospital, and when he
came back he was really sad. And more drunk. He kept
sayin’ stuff like the baby was gone, and momma had
some long word-thing. It kinda reminded me of horses,
but I know it was about the baby. So I’m not gonna
have a sister, or even a brother. I hate daddy. 



February 4, 1978 (10 years old) 



My teacher asked ‘bout my bruise today. She said it
looked like a hand print. I didn’t know what to tell
her, so I just left. I don’t think she was very happy.
But I didn’t know what to do. If I told her that daddy
hit me, she’d ask daddy about it. And daddy would get
really mad and hit me way more. I can’t ever tell
anyone. My time is getting way better. Momma says I’m
within a minute. When I get so that I’m right on, I
won’t have to worry about being around what daddy
comes home. I’ll know what he’s coming and go to my
room. Then maybe he won’t hit me as much. But maybe
he’ll just call me down and hit me more. I don’t know.
But I have to try. 



January 3, 1980 (12 years old) 



Momma’s more distant every day. It’s like she’s not
really here anymore. She just goes through the
motions. Everytime I try to get her to talk to me, she
just brushes me off. It’s like I don’t even matter
anymore. Like she doesn’t love me anymore. Then again,
I am daddy’s child, too. Who could love something with
him in it? 



October 18, 1983 (15 years old) 



Momma left last night. That doesn’t really surprise
me. I knew she was going to leave, it was just a
matter of when. But daddy didn’t know. When I came
home from Jessica’s house, he was sitting on the
couch, drunk, as usual, but there was something
different. I asked where momma was and he said she was
gone. I asked where and he said he didn’t know. She
just left. Then he started to cry. He pulled me into
this big hug and started to cry on my shoulder. It was
disgusting. He hits and yells at me, then when the
going gets tough, he expects me to comfort him? Not
going to happen. I gotta admit, though, I’m kinda hurt
that momma left on my birthday. But then, she hasn’t
cared about me for years now. Why bother? I’m the
daughter of Joe MacKenzie. It’s like I’m nothing. 



June 21, 1985 (16 years old) 



School is out! After another shitty year at that
monstrosity they call an “education house” I’m finally
free! Free from interfering teachers who send me to
the hospital’s loony bin. God! Do they think I like it
there? So what if I show up at school drunk sometimes?
Or if I skip school to have sex? It’s none of their
business! And how dare they comment on my clothing! I
don’t give a flyin’ fuck if they think I dress too
provocatively. They’re not the ones trying to find a
good sex partner. I mean, that new jock, Aron, is
pretty good, but he’s too righteous. Doesn’t like too
be seen with me, even if he’s fucking me. Oh well. I
guess I just have to find some one else. 



July 5, 1986 (17 years old) 



I’m in love. And surprisingly, he loves me, too. His
name is Chris Ragle. He’s so sexy, it’s not even
funny. And good in bed, too. He has a Harley and is
never seen without his leather jacket. He wants me to
run away with him. Away from Arizona. Maybe to
California. I want to go. It’ll get me away from
daddy, and away from the people who talk about me so
that I can heard them. Just because I pretend not to
have feelings, doesn’t mean I don’t. They call me
Chris Ragle’s little slut. Well fuck them! I will go
with Chris. He’s leaving tomorrow, so I’ll pack my
things now and leave this shitty little town far
behind me, in the dust of a Harley. 

 



Harm closed the binder and looked up at Mac. “I don’t
know what to say.” He said softly.

Mac was watching Harm with tear-filled eyes. “Say that
you understand me a little more. That you understand
what drives me.”

Harm nodded slowly. “I think I do. Mac… that was
incredible. I just spent short parts of your life
through your eyes. It wasn’t much, but I saw the
little girl begging to be loved by her daddy. I saw
the little girl hurting over her mother’s rejection.
There have been times in the past when I would see a
vulnerability in you, the little girl, and I would
wonder… what happened to you that made you so
desperate for love? And now I know. Thank you, Mac.”

Mac frowned. “What for?”

“For trusting me enough to let me see you.”

“I’ve always trusted you, Harm. Ever since day one.
And I always will.”

“Just as I’ll always trust you, Marine.” 



The End