Title: The Hard Way Author: Nicole Category: S, Rish [Harm/Mac, Brumby/Mac] A [Brumby/Mac] Rating: PG Spoilers: Adrift I Disclaimer: Michaela is mine, but that's it. Summary: Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Feedback: desired Archive: Ex Libris and BTL, any others, please ask first. Author's Notes: had this idea for a while now, in fact, I had it completely written in my head, so I thought I'd get it out before I lost it. The idea, not my mind! Timeline: Adrift I, but Harm never left for his quals. Just as the priest said the words, "… Speak now or forever hold your peace," the church doors opened. Everyone turned, all thanking God that this was only the rehearsal, but the actual wedding. "May I help you?" Mac asked, walking over to the teen girl. The girl, dressed casually in jeans and a black t-shirt, leather jacket hanging from one hand, shook her wet black hair over her shoulder. "I'm looking for Mic Brumby," she said, her Australian accent obvious in her words. Mac walked back to the front of the church and told Mic that the girl wanted to see him. Mic approached her, as he got closer, recognition dawned. "What do you want?" Mic asked softly as that his voice wouldn't carry. The girl imitated his tone, her voice not carrying either. "Have you told her? I assume that you're the one getting married." Mic sighed. "Yes, Sarah and I are getting married tomorrow. And no, I haven't told her." "Don't you think you should? I mean, she should know that she's getting a ready-made family." "Michaela, I couldn't. Even now, after so long, it's hard to talk about your mother. I can't." "She looks like her. Sarah." Michaela changed the subject. Mic glanced over his shoulder at Mac watching them. "Yeah, she does." "Is she a substitute?" Mic turned back to Michaela. "No!" he exclaimed, then lowered his voice again. "Kayla, I love Sarah. Not like I loved your mother, but I do love her. That's why I came here." Michaela's dark brown eyes looked imploringly at Mic. "Tell her, please. I want my daddy back. I want a family back." Mic nodded and took Michaela's hand, leading her up to the front of the church. "I would like you all to meet my daughter, Michaela Amanda Brumby." Mac's mouth dropped open. "Mic!" she hissed. "You never told me you had a daughter!" Mic looked at Mac slightly sheepishly. "It's hard for me to talk about. I'll tell you everything later, okay?" Mac nodded and kissed Mic lightly. The rehearsal and dinner went off without a hitch and finally Mac, Mic and Michaela were all sitting in Mac's livingroom. Mic looked at Mac. "Where do I start?" "From the beginning?" Mac suggested, shifting slightly as Michaela's foot dug into her thigh. "Sorry," Michaela mumbled as Mic began. "Well, I met Amanda Elizabeth James eighteen years ago. I was in love with her from nearly the beginning, but she was in love with her best friend. I ignored that and pursued her until I finally convinced her to marry me. That was sixteen years ago. She got pregnant right away, with Michaela and her twin, Jessica. Jess died a week after she was born." "I'm sorry," Mac said softly. Mic smiled and continued. "About a year after Amanda and I married, when Michaela was about three or four months old, Amanda announced that she wanted a divorce. That the only reason she married me was because her best friend rejected her, and now he wanted her." Mic sighed. "We divorced and she took Michaela. I found out a few years ago, just after I left JAG, that Amanda and her husband had been killed in an accident. Michaela was in foster care and apparently loved it. She didn't want to live with me, so I left her there." Michaela picked up a bit of the story then. "I heard a couple weeks ago that dad had come here, so I came after him. I was kinda freaked when I saw you, you look a lot like mom did. Very beautiful." Mac smiled slightly. "Thank you. Um, I have a guest room if you want to stay here." Michaela grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her brown eyes. "As long as it's as far away as possible from your guys' room, sure!" Mic's mouth dropped open and Mac started laughing. "Don't worry, Michaela!" she exclaimed, still grinning. Mac showed Michaela the guest room and sat with her, talking for a couple hours while Mic slept. They talked about JAG and school, being a teenager, about Harm and Bud, Harriet and the Admiral. But mostly, they talked about Mic. "Are you sure you love him?" Michaela asked, hugging the pillow Mac had given her. Mac smiled. "Of course I love Mic." "But do you love enough? Do you know for sure that you would never leave him? No matter who said that they loved you or let go or whatever?" Mac inhaled sharply at the words 'let go.' "Kayla, why are you asking me this?" Michaela sighed. "I don't want to see my dad hurt again. I know how much it hurt him when my mom left. My uncle used to tell me stories about dad from before my mom left, then after. He became a different man. I don't want that to happen again." Mac looked at Michaela with wonder in her eyes. "You barely even know him, how can you care so much?" Michaela tilted her head. "Just because I haven't lived with him since I was a baby doesn't mean I don't love him. Sarah, if you have any doubts, *don't do this*! Don't hurt him like my mom did, please." Mac sighed. "Michaela, I do love your father. But it's true, I love someone else more. And if he loved me, I don't know what would happen." Michaela's eyes burned with an intensity beyond her years. "Don't marry my father tomorrow, *please*! I want him to be happy, but not if it's just going to hurt him more later." "I'll talk to Mic in the morning," Mac said as she stood up. "Goodnight, Michaela." "Goodnight, Sarah," Michaela replied, snuggling down into the blankets. As soon as Mac left, Michaela stood up and walked over to the window, pressing her hand to the glass as she gazed into the sky. The lightning flashed and her whispered plea of "Please," was drowned out by the thunder. Mac rolled over and opened her eyes, seeing Mic watching her. "Good morning, Beautiful." Mac smirked slightly as she yawned and blinked sleepily at Mic. "Listening to the country station again?" Mic laughed and got up out of bed. "Just tellin' the truth, luv." Mac sighed and stood up. As she suddenly remembered what Michaela had said the night before, Mac said softly, "Mic, I think we need to talk." Mic sat back down on the bed. "Sure, luv, what is it?" Mac sighed again. "Mic… God, I don't know how to say this… I think we need to postpone the wedding." Mic froze and his eyes widened. "Why?" he whispered. "I just… I have some things to think about and I definitely want to get to know Michaela better." Mic nodded. "All right. I'll call everyone. How long?" Mac squinted slightly. "A week?" Mic smiled and stood up, kissing Mac softly. "Sure, luv." Mac groaned as she entered the bullpen. She had told Mic that they would go to lunch and she would tell him what she had been thinking about, but apparently he was sure that she would proclaim her everlasting love for him, so he had gathered the bullpen to hear the announcement. Even Michaela was there. "Mic, what's all this?" Mac asked quietly. Mic grinned from ear to ear. "I thought we could have all our friends around." Mac glanced around nervously. "Mic, I'm not sure that's a good idea." "Of course it is, luv!" Mic exclaimed. "Now, what did you want to tell me?" Mac groaned silently as she felt everybody's eyes on her. When she spoke, her voice was so low that even Mic had to strain to hear her. "Mic, I can't marry you. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it." Mic took a step back, stunned. "What? Why?" he whispered. Mac glanced at Michaela, who nodded encouragingly. "I don't love you like I should, Mic. I would be like Amanda was. Be with you until my best friend was ready to love me. I'm so sorry, Mic." Mac slowly slid the ring off her finger and handed it to Mic. Mic looked at Mac with tears in his eyes. "I love you, Sarah MacKenzie," he whispered. Mic gently brushed Mac's lips with his own and walked away. Michaela approached Mac and just looked at her, watching her watch Mic leave. "I wish you could have made him happy, Sarah," Michaela said softly. "I know he loved you very much." Michaela gave Mac a hug, them followed her father out. Harm walked up to Mac and saw a tear make its way down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Mac," he said, wiping the tear away. Mac looked up at Harm. "I couldn't do it," she said. "I couldn't marry him." Harm gently hugged Mac. "I know, Mac." Mac turned her head to rest against Harm's shoulder and a couple more tears seeped out from beneath her eyelashes. "I love you, Harm."