TITLE:  "Starting Again VIII—Mountain of Sacrifice"
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner  
SUMMARY:  The eighth in the Starting Again series of post-Adrift stories, in which 
a shadow from the nightmare of Palmer and Leavenworth threatens Mac and 
Harm’s happiness and Mac searches for answers away from D.C. while she 
attempts to help Chloe. Rated PG for mild language and violence. 
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to Paramount, CBS, et al.  No copyright is intended 
with this work of entertainment only.
FEEDBACK:  Please, if you would like to express your enjoyment.  If our work 
does not appeal to you for any reason-we have no problem with that, but 
please, no need to share that with us.  Feedback addy is SSbpMN@aol.com

NOTE:  All parts of this story will be available at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories.  No subbing is required to 
read from the message archives.

“Starting Again VIII—Mountain of Sacrifice”---


HARM & MAC's APT.
Midnight
15 Nov 01


"Mac you coming to bed or what?" Harm hollered as he put down the case folder.  
"Honey you've been pounding those keys for an hour.  Give it a rest."

"Harm, Commander Alford is not going to defend himself," she shot back.  "I was 
tasked with defending him and that's what I'm going to do."

"You can't do it if you're exhausted," Harm reminded her, keeping his tone level.  
"And the way we keep each other up at night is making it pretty bad."

Indeed in the two weeks since the incident at Leavenworth with Clark Palmer, the 
nightmares that had plagued them shortly after Harm's mishap had returned, 
along with a tension between them that seemed to ebb and flow.  Bumps in the 
road, though at times they seemed like mountains.

Ten minutes passed while he listened to her type, and he was about to roll from 
the bed and bodily bring her to join him when he heard her shut down the 
computer.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked gently when she appeared in the 
doorway.  

"Case or otherwise?"

He smiled slightly and shrugged.  "Anything."

"The case is making me crazy," she sighed.  "I mean how do you defend a man 
who's computer was loading with kiddie porn.  Entrapment my six."

"Tell him to plead guilty."

"Like I haven't tried," she scoffed, dropping her robe on the chair and crawling into 
bed.  It took but a moment for them to settle in their customary positions, her head 
resting on his chest where the beating of his heart would soothe her to sleep.

"I think we maybe need to take some time away," he suggested softly, stroking 
her back as he always did.  "Like one of those three-day cruises out of Baltimore.  
Just some time."

When she did not respond he gave her a small shake.  "Does the idea of being 
away with me suck that much?"

"No of course not," she laughed gently.  "It's just that I don't know how I feel about 
anything right now."

"You know I understand that," he told her quietly.  "I just want to do whatever it 
takes to help you through this.

"We could think about it I guess," she conceded, "but Harm that wouldn't change 
anything that's happened."

"No but we might have a chance to not focus on it."

"That's what work is for.   Please go to sleep.  I'm fine.  I just want to lay here and 
have you hold me."

"Easily done," he sighed and helped her get comfortable.  As he watched, she put 
her hand on her belly, something she had done every night since they had gotten 
home.  Covering the spot where for a few short hours she had been sure a baby 
had been growing.  A baby made from the deep abiding love they shared.
============
"You let her go or I'll kill you with my bare hands you sonafabitch."  The words 
came from Harm, low and deadly, and from deep in sleep and dream.  Before Mac 
could react, he had sat up with such force that she was thrown away from him, 
only to have him thrash about as if looking for his target.

This time he landed on her and his hands closed around her throat, getting hold 
before she, in her infinite surprise, could prevent it.  "Harm.  Harm stop," she 
shouted, fully awake now, and she pushed him back from her with all her strength, 
breaking his grip and waking him at the same time.

She coughed and rolled against him, finding him drenched in sweat and trembling.  
It was June re-visited.  The nightmares of that time.
  
 "It's all right" she soothed. "It's over now. It was just a nightmare."
 
 It was several minutes before he finally calmed.
 
 "I'm sorry," he said finally, looking at her and noticing the marks on her 
 neck. "I did that didn't I?"
 
 "You were having a nightmare. And I'm fine. It's you I'm a little worried 
 about. That was another Palmer nightmare wasn't it?"
 
 "How'd you know?" he sighed.
 
 "Cause you mumbled something about letting her go or you'd kill him" Mac 
 said quietly. "Harm, these nightmares aren't going away. It's been two weeks 
 and if anything they're getting worse. I think you need to talk to someone 
 about this."
 
 "You mean like Captain Taylor?"
 
 "He helped you through things before" Mac pointed out. "And the only reason 
 I'm suggesting it is because it's really starting to affect you. You're 
 barely getting a few hours sleep a night."
 
 "And I could have hurt you" he whispered. "Mac, if I'd…"
 
 "I would have had your six on the floor before you could have hurt me," Mac 
 said with a small smile. "You were asleep and I had the advantage. You just 
 got a lucky grab in the first time."
 
 "Well I don't want to risk that happening again" Harm sighed. "I'm going to 
 call Captain Taylor in the morning and maybe for good measure I'll go sleep 
 on the couch."
 
 "No, but I am going to get us a new set of sheets for the bed and a cool 
 washcloth for you" she said as she stood up. "You stay there."
 
 She returned minutes later with both and a short time later she lay against 
 him again.
 
 "When you call Captain Taylor tomorrow tell him I'd like to talk to him as 
 well" Mac said quietly.
 
 "Mac, is there something you're not telling me?" he asked.
 
 "No, I just need to talk to him too."
 
 "With me there right?" Harm demanded.  "Mac?"
 
 "Harm, I just need to talk to someone other than you about this right now" 
 Mac sighed. "And before you start jumping to conclusions, it doesn’t have 
 anything to do with Palmer."
 
 "Yeah sure whatever you say" Harm sighed as he rolled over. He'd never quite 
 believed Mac when she'd told him Palmer hadn't gotten that far with her. But 
 since they'd been home she'd been aloof with him. And now she wanted to talk 
 to Captain Taylor alone.
 
 On her side of the bed Mac rolled over as well, their backs to each other. 
 She couldn’t tell Harm what was really bothering her. He had enough to worry 
 about without her longing for a baby. Besides, they weren't even married 
 yet. She managed to keep her tears at bay until she could tell he was 
 asleep. Only then did she give, her tears wetting the pillows.
 
 JAG HQ's
 Next Morning
 
 "Good luck" Harm said as he walked into Mac's office. "You think you'll be 
 done by lunch?"
 
 "Only if Commander Alford realizes he doesn't have a prayer of being found 
 innocent and decides to plead guilty" Mac sighed. "Which isn't going to 
 happen."
 
 "We're in a good mood today"
 "Sorry. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The person who 
 usually holds me had his back to me all night."
 
 "Mac" Harm started and stopped. "Never mind. You won't tell me anyway. Maybe 
 you'll open up to Captain Taylor since you won't talk to me."
 
 He walked away and headed to his office, slamming the door behind him. 
 Before the trip to Leavenworth everything had been fine. Now the ghost of 
 Clark Palmer was hanging over them, threatening to tear them apart. He 
 reached for the phone and dialed the familiar number to Captain Taylor's 
 office. Minutes later he hung up, having managed to get an appointment for 
 that night.
 
 He spent the morning in his office behind the closed door, finally venturing 
 out after 12:00 for lunch. There was no sign of Mac so he headed out, 
 feeling the need for some fresh air.
 
 Ten minutes later Mac and Bud walked back from the courtroom.
 
 "How'd you get him to plead guilty ma'am?" Bud asked.
 
 "Once you started your case Lt., he knew he didn't have a chance in hell of 
 getting off" Mac replied. "And he finally realized that he was just going to 
 drag his family through the wringer if he didn't."
 
 She headed to her office, noting at once that Harm's was empty. A quick 
 glance out the window at the parking lot told her he'd gone out. She was 
 about to head to the breakroom when her phone rang.
 
 "Colonel Mackenzie"
 
 "Hi Mac, its Chloe."
 
 "Chloe, how are you?" Mac asked as she sat down. "Long time since I heard 
 from you."
 
 "And whose fault is that?" Chloe retorted. "You're the one who's always busy 
 with Harm."
 
 "Chloe" Mac sighed.
 
 "Since Mic left you haven't had any time for anyone but him" Chloe 
 continued.
 
 "Honey, I'm sorry if you think that but it's not true. You know I always 
 have time for you. Is something wrong?"
 
 "What do you care?" Chloe asked.
 
 "I happen to care a very lot young lady" Mac said sharply. "Now tell me 
 what's wrong."

"Nothing."  

The logic of a thirteen year old. Mac sighed and tried again.  "Chloe you must 
have called about something.  Do you need to talk?  You know I'm here for you."

"No I don't," she retorted.  "I know you've been there for Harm.  You were there for 
Harm when you should have been there for Mic."

"Chloe at the risk of sounding harsh, you are sailing into waters you know nothing 
about," Mac told her firmly.  "And are none of your business really, though I'll be 
glad to talk to you calmly about what happened."

"Yeah right," Chloe muttered.

"Chloe, I have time to talk to you.  I don't have time for mood and attitude," Mac 
said firmly, "I'm not in the best frame of mind here myself."

"Oh yeah, what's the matter.  Harm not giving you any?"

"That's it, I'm hanging up.  When you want to talk about what's on your mind, you 
call me again," Mac told her, unable to keep the irritation from her voice 
completely.  She put the phone down with a decided click and her head into her 
hands, pressing her fingertips into her temple against the headache that was 
rapidly taking over her being.

"Ma'am are you OK?" Harriet called softly.  "I've got that information on the Los 
Angeles Class Submarines you asked for.  You want it now?"  

"No but I need it for the Walters case," she sighed.

"Are you OK?" Harriet persisted, "I mean with respect ma'am you don't look well."

"Harriet come in and close the door and for godsake don't say ma'am again once 
you do."

"OK, Mac, are you OK?" 

"No I'm not," she sighed.  "I've got Chloe with a problem she won't share and 
Harm with nightmares from Leavenworth that he can't shake.  It's after his crash 
all over again.  And that doesn't leave this room."

"No ma'am. . .uh Mac," she stammered.  "Can I ask if you're also having 
nightmares?  I mean I only know a little of what happened but if that man had 
done that to me I would be waking up screaming every night."

"Harriet, he did nothing but touch me," Mac replied.  "Nothing else.  Uncle Matt got 
to him before it could go further."

"Can I ask why you didn't try to fight him off?" Harriet asked gently.  "I bet you 
could have killed him."

"I made a deal for Harm's life," she answered simply.  "And Harm thinks it went 
further than it really did.  You know when we left Leavenworth, we went to this 
little cabin in the desert and everything was fine but somehow we got back here 
and it's all gone to hell.  And then there's the problem of the baby on top of that."

"You're pregnant?" Harriet squealed and clamped her hand over her mouth at 
once.

"No I'm not," Mac sighed.  "False alarm.  I thought I was.  And after I got used to it, 
I loved the idea.  And then I wasn't.  Those first few days I tried to convince myself 
the test was wrong and that I really was, but my own body told me differently last 
week."

Harriet nodded her understanding.  "You know that happened to me too, the 
month before I got pregnant with AJ."  There was silence for a moment and she 
continued, "Chloe was pretty upset at the dinner.  She hasn't gotten over it yet 
huh?"

Mac shook her head.  "No and when she called, I know she wanted to talk and 
then she got this attitude, and I got one back, and things tanked from there."

"She's thirteen Mac," Harriet smiled.  "If you figure out the mind of a thirteen year 
old, you need to resign your commission and write a book because you'll make a 
million easy."

"I'll try to give her grandmother a call later and see if I can get a clue.  I just know I 
don't need this on top of everything else," Mac sighed.  "Thank god for the long 
weekend coming up.  And Harriet thanks for the research.  I'm sorry.  I should not 
be whining to you.  That's not what you're here for."

"Hey I have Bud and a two-year old.  I'm pretty well used to it," she smiled.  "You 
want me to stay with you?"

"No I think I'm going to go into the lounge and take something for my headache.  If 
anyone is looking for me, you don't know me."

"Yes ma'am," Harriet smiled and opened the door.  "Call me if you need anything."

Twenty minutes passed and Harm returned, looking immediately to Mac's office 
and finding it dark.  "Harriet where's Colonel Mackenzie?" he called at once, 
spotting her coming from Tiner's desk.

"I don't know her sir," she responded with as straight a face as she could manage.

"I beg your pardon?  Harriet are you OK?"

"I'm fine sir, but the Colonel is nursing a headache in the lounge and probably 
doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Tough," he barked, feeling a rush of concern for her and he strode off at once.
   
 "Harm, I just have a headache" Mac sighed. "I just needed some peace and 
 quiet for a change."
 
 "Okay, I can tell when I'm not wanted" Harm said as he turned and walked 
 towards the door again.
 
 "Harm, wait" Mac said as she push herself up to a sitting position. "I 
 didn't mean you."
 
 "Well I'm not real sure anymore" he said quietly as he turned to face her 
 again. "Since Leavenworth everything has been different."
 
 "I know. That's why we need to talk to Captain Taylor."
 
 "We have an appointment tonight" Harm replied.
 
 "Good" Mac sighed. "I'm sorry if I snapped at you. But after Chloe's call 
 I'm not in a good frame of mind."
 
 "I'm guessing she's still a little upset that you didn't marry Mic."
 
 "Harm she's a teenager. I'm sure the only thing she's really upset about is 
 the fact she didn't get to be a bridesmaid and walk down the aisle all 
 dressed up."
 
 "Or maybe she's just thinking you made the biggest mistake of your life by 
 letting Mic leave" Harm said quietly. "And she's probably right about that."
 
 With that he turned and walked out of the room. Mac let out a long sigh, 
 wondering how things had suddenly gotten so crazy. After Fallon, everything 
 had been perfect. Now she couldn't even talk to Harm and Chloe hated her.
 
 "Ma'am you okay?" Harriet asked as she stuck her head in the lounge a few 
 minutes later.
 
 "Just peachy" Mac sighed as she pushed herself to her feet.
 
 The rest of the afternoon was spent apart, Harm staying behind closed office 
 doors while Mac did the same. The call from Chloe was still bothering her 
 and she finally decided to call Martha.
 
 "Mac, how are you?" Martha gushed.
 
 "I'm fine. The reason I'm calling is Chloe. She called me earlier and I got 
 the feeling something was wrong but she wouldn't tell me what."
 
 "Well that makes two of us" Martha sighed. "Yes there's something wrong but 
 she won't tell me either. Been that way since after she came back from 
 seeing you. I know she was real disappointed that you and that Mic fellow 
 didn't get married. But she seemed okay and then school started and then 
 suddenly she's no longer speaking to me half the time. Always running off to 
 be alone in her room or out riding."
 
 "Is she having problems at school?" Mac asked.
 
 "Well her grades aren't what they were last year. I know something's 
 bothering her but I'm clueless as to what to do. The only time she's happy 
 is when she's out riding alone."
 
 "So you've tried talking to her then?" Mac prodded.
 
 "Yes and I just keep meeting a brick wall. You know how she can be."
 
 "I know" Mac sighed.
 
 "You know I was going to call and see if you might be able to come up and 
 visit for a few days" Martha replied. "Maybe she'd open up to you. You and 
 her have always gotten along so well. Maybe you could come up during the 
 Thanksgiving holiday. She's off school and you and her could spend some time 
 alone."
 
 "I'll see what I can arrange Martha" Mac said as she looked at her calendar.
 
 "Chloe says you've got a new boyfriend" Martha continued. "You could bring 
 him as well if you'd like. Or maybe he could come up and meet you later so 
 that you and Chloe could have a little time alone."
 
 "I'm not so sure that would be a good idea" Mac sighed. "Chloe isn't exactly 
 thrilled that I'm with Harm. It might be better if I came alone."
 
 "Well the invitation is extended to both of you" Martha replied. "But I know 
 it would mean a lot to Chloe if you came."
 
 "I'll see what I can do and call you back" Mac promised.
 
 She hung up and sat at her desk for several minutes before deciding that 
 maybe going to see Chloe wouldn't be such a bad idea. She hadn't really had 
 a chance to talk to Chloe about everything after Harm's accident and she 
 knew Chloe was probably feeling neglected. And it would give her some time 
 away from Harm. And right now that might not be such a bad thing.
 
 There was a knock at her door and seconds later Harm stuck his head in. "We 
 need to go if we're going to make our appointment with Captain Taylor."
 
 She nodded and seconds later they made their way out to the car. She waited 
 until they were on their way to tell him about her call from Martha.
 
 "Martha called me this afternoon" she said casually. "She's worried about 
 Chloe."
 
 "And"
 
 "And she asked if I could come up and see Chloe over her Thanksgiving break. 
 I guess since school started Chloe hasn't been her normal self and her 
 grades are slipping and of course Chloe won't talk to Martha."
 
 "We'd both go right?" Harm asked.
 
 "Actually I was thinking that maybe I'd go alone" Mac said quietly. "Well at 
 least for the first few days. Martha said you were welcome to come and I 
 thought that maybe you could just fly up on Wednesday night and have 
 Thanksgiving with us."
 
 "Mac what's going on?"
 
 "Harm, nothing is going on. I just think that Chloe will be more willing to 
 talk to me if you're not there."
 
 "Is that it? Or are you just using Chloe as an excuse to get away?"
 
 "No I am not" Mac said irritably. "But now that you mentioned it, I thought 
 it might be good for us to have a few days apart."
 
 "Because of what happened at Leavenworth?" Harm demanded. "That's it isn't. 
 That's why you want to talk to Captain Taylor and that's why you suddenly 
 want to get away from me."
 
"Harm why don't you leave the psychoanalyzing to the good Captain," she 
groaned, pressing her finger tips to her temples once again.  "He's the one getting 
the big bucks for knowing what's going on in my head.  But I will tell you that the 
only thing that happened in that infirmary is what your imagination is conjuring up.  
Like I've told you a hundred and fifty times since we've been home."

Harm simply shook his head and they fell silent for the remainder of the ride.  He 
parked at Bethesda and for one of the few times in their togetherness he did not 
come around to open her door but stood at the rear of the car to await her.  

For a moment she sat still, willing her head to stop pounding, and then opened the 
door to step down from the high SUV.  As her second foot touched the pavement 
with her weight she was overcome with dizziness and staggered, feeling her self 
fall to her knees with a small cry of surprise. 

"Mac?"  Harm wheeled around when he heard her, infinitely amazed to find her 
struggling to her feet.  "Mac my god what?"

"Harm nothing I'm OK," she shot back, not wanting him at that moment to be 
concerned over her.

"You are anything but OK," he yelped, his frustration with her forgotten as he 
closed the distance between them in three strides, lifting her to her feet and then 
pressing her against him.  "You are not OK," he persisted.  "Tell me what's 
wrong."

"Uh headache due to stress due to everything--is any of this getting familiar."

"Yeah of course it is, because of what happened.  What's so hard to understand 
about that?"

"Because nothing happened," she screeched in total frustration.  "My problem 
dealing with it has only to do with your reaction and how I hate what it's doing to 
you.  Let me go."

"No I won't."  He shook his head firmly.  "You're not well and I'm not letting you go 
and fall.  And this is a discussion we're going to have with Captain Taylor."

"Yes we are," she replied just as firmly, "because I can't go on like this."
=================
It was those words she repeated in answer to Captain Taylor's first question of 
"what can I do for you."

"Thank you for coming to the point," Captain Taylor smiled.  "My appointments 
clerk has urgent marked here.  And Mac since you've obviously reached the 
boiling point, why don't you go ahead first, if that's all right with you Harm."

"By all means," Harm sighed, leaning back in this chair.

"Start at the beginning please," Captain Taylor reminded her, fixing his gaze on 
both of them and frowning.  Something was wrong, something was missing. . .and 
he realized what it was.  From the first minute he saw them for the first time, as 
they walked through the door to his office all those weeks ago, they had held 
hands.  Their hands had been joined through every minute of every session, save 
the times when they held each other as one would cry.  As they would exit, it 
would be with hands joined. 

Now Harm's arms were folded across his chest and her hand gripped the arms of 
the chair as she started speaking, beginning with the story of their arrival in 
Leavenworth, the prison uprising and being held by Palmer.

"May I take over at this point?" Harm spoke up, having remained silent as she 
spoke.  "I mean I'd like to deliver the punchline if I may."

"I'm just going to deny what you're about to say, but of course, if you want to make 
a pre-emptive strike, knock yourself out."

"She struck a deal sir.  A deal with Satan.  That the prisoners would leave me 
alone if she would allow Palmer to. . .if she would. . .if she would service him."  He 
spat the last words out bitterly and sank back into his chair in misery."

"OK, I'm getting the picture," Taylor nodded.  "And Mac you did so?"

"No I didn't have the chance," she said softly.  "My uncle arrived with a guard and 
subdued Palmer.  It was over before it began.  Nothing more than some foreplay 
and touching and it was awful and I hated it."

Captain Taylor nodded, looking from one to the other.  "And what if your uncle had 
not come on like the cavalry, would you have done what this Palmer wanted, in 
order to save Harm's life?"

"In a heart beat," she replied defiantly.  "I happen to love him and if were to die I 
would have no reason to live myself."

 
 "And how am I supposed to live with myself after what you did" Harm snapped.
 
 "Harm, nothing happened" Mac shouted. "What is it going to take for you to 
 understand that."
 
 "Harm, why don't you believe Mac?" Captain Taylor asked.
 
 "I don't know" Harm sighed. "Probably because I know that she would do 
 anything to protect me including lying about what happened so I wouldn't be 
 upset by it."
 
 "Harm, I happen to think Mac is telling the truth" Captain Taylor said 
 quietly.
 
 "Then ask her why she wanted to talk to you alone and why she wants to go 
 away for Thanksgiving without me" Harm snapped as he stood up. "I'll be 
 outside waiting." He strode from the room before either Mac or Captain 
 Taylor could say anything.
 
 "Okay this is going well" Mac sighed.
 
 "I can see why you two wanted to see me right away" Captain Taylor said with 
 a small smile. "Was I right in my conclusion though?"
 
 "Yes you are. Nothing happened except for what I told you. But he won't 
 believe me."
 
 "What did you want to talk to me alone about then?"
 
 "When we were at Leavenworth I wasn't feeling good and the doctor thought I 
 might be pregnant. Course it turned out I wasn't."
 
 "And that's upset you?"
 
 "Yes. Before this Harm and I had talked about having a baby one day. But we 
 haven't even set a wedding date and our superior officer doesn't even know 
 we're together. But now all I can think about is having a baby."
 
 "You didn't want to share this with Harm?" Captain Taylor inquired.
 
 "I didn't want to lay this on him on top of everything else" Mac sighed. 
 "He's been dealing with the guilt as it is. He's up almost every night with 
 nightmares. I figured I could handle it on my own. But it's starting to 
 consume me. All I can think about is having a baby."
 
 "But you're afraid that by telling Harm he's going to think you're 
 pressuring him into making the commitment to get married sooner?"
 
 "I just don't want him to feel pressured about anything right now. We'd just 
 gotten him through the flying stuff and now this."
 
 "Mac, I think he can handle this" Captain Taylor smiled. "Your silence is 
 making him believe that something more happened at Leavenworth."
 
 "I know but I just don't feel I can talk to him about this right now" Mac 
 sighed.
 
 "Well I'll see what I can do to convince him that nothing happened that 
 night. Now what was the other part? He said something about you not wanting 
 to spend the holiday with him.
 
 "It's a long story but I'm a "big sister" to Chloe. She and I have been 
 close for several years. She's thirteen and she's having some problems 
 adjusting to school and her grandmother who she lives with asked me to come 
 up and visit during Chloe's break from school."
 
 "So why not just have Harm go with you?"
 
 "Chloe isn't exactly thrilled with Harm right now," Mac admitted. "She was 
 looking forward to being the bridesmaid at my wedding and when that didn't 
 happen she blamed Harm for everything."
 
 "I see" Captain Taylor smiled. "So you want to go alone and see if you can 
 talk to her and find out what's going on with her and at the same time 
 convince her that Harm's not such a bad guy."
 
 "Bingo" Mac sighed. "And of course Harm went off the deep end when I 
 mentioned it to him."
 
 "That's because he thinks you're hiding something from him. Let me try 
 talking to him alone and see if I can make some headway with him. But it 
 wouldn't hurt for you to tell him what you're feeling about the baby."
 
 "Not yet. I will but not right now."
 
 "That's your choice. I won't mention it to him. But I think you should 
 consider telling him how you feel."
 
 "Why don't I go see if I can find him?" Mac said as she stood up.
 
 Captain Taylor nodded and Mac slipped out the door. He wasn't in the outer 
 office and she headed out to the hallway, finally finding him staring out 
 one of the large windows.
 
 "Hey" she said softly as she walked up behind him.
 
 "Hi" he said quietly. "You finished telling Captain Taylor all your 
 secrets."
 
 "Yeah and he wants to talk to you alone now" Mac said quietly.
 
 Without a word he turned and walked back into the office and Mac let out a 
 long sigh. She hoped Captain Taylor would be able to get through to him.
 
 "So what did she tell you?" Harm said as he sank back into his chair.
 
 "Harm, I'm sure you know by know that whatever Mac told me is confidential" 
 Captain Taylor said quietly.
 
 "Great so she'll tell you what Palmer did to her but she won't tell me" Harm 
 said irritably.
 
 "Harm, all I'm going to say is you have to let this go," Captain Taylor said 
 quietly. "Mac has told you nothing happened and yet you chose not to believe 
 her."
 
 "You heard her" Harm retorted. "She'd do anything to protect me."
 
 "Yes but that doesn't mean she did in this case."
 
 "So what am I supposed to do?" Harm sighed.
 
 "Let it go" Captain Taylor said gently. "Tell yourself that Mac isn't lying 
 to you. That nothing happened with this Palmer person."
 
 "Easier said than done" Harm said quietly.
 
 "For your sake and Mac's you need to. Otherwise it's going to tear you two 
 apart. And after everything you two have been through together, it would be 
 a shame to see that happen. You love each other very much. Don't let this 
 destroy you."
 
 Mac was waiting for him in the outer office when he finally finished with 
 Captain Taylor.
 
 "Everything okay?" she asked.
 
 "Can we go and get that cup of coffee like we usually do?" he asked quietly. 
 "I'm not really hungry but I'd like us to try and talk about this again."
 
 "I think we can do that," she said as she reached for his hand.

His hand froze at her touch and she looked back at him quizzically, then began to 
withdraw in hurt.

"No don't," he told her, himself reaching for her.  "We've always left here holding 
hands and I'll be damned if we're going to stop.  I may not have much control over 
anything else but I can at least hold your hand."

"Please," she whispered, and their fingers knitted together.  "Feels good," she 
whispered again.  "I need you Sailor.  And I love you."  She lifted their hands so 
the joining was clearly visible to both.  "Like this it's like nothing can tear us apart."

"Yeah," he nodded soberly.  "That's how I want it to be, honest to god it is."

"Coffee, now," she smiled.  "And we'll talk.  Like we always have."

They walked in silence the two blocks, letting the cold fresh air clear their heads, 
and after they got their cups, took them to a table in the far corner as they always 
did. 

"You want to talk to me about what you and the Captain discussed?" he asked 
gently.

"Will you share with me?" she countered, and he nodded soberly, leaning forward 
to listen closely to her.

"You know how you sometimes don't know you want something until you can't 
have it," she whispered after a long pause.  "Harm, I had convinced myself I was 
pregnant.  In a few short hours there I had convinced myself I was carrying your 
child.  A baby I wanted very badly by the way.  I know it never existed but I feel 
like I was pregnant and lost it."  Her eyes filled with tears and she wiped them 
away irritably.

"And that's what's been bothering you?" he asked incredulously.  "Not what 
Palmer did?"

"No not what Palmer did.  Palmer did nothing.  Palmer did nothing that I can't 
handle.  But I had a baby taken from me.  Not a baby in my belly, but a baby 
nevertheless.  It's not that hard to understand."

"I was disappointed too," Harm sighed suddenly, toying with her hands.  "But more 
that was replaced by such an overwhelming feeling of relief that you were OK.  
Well not OK because of Palmer but alive."

"I just know that your refusal to believe me is putting a very big wedge between 
us," she whispered, tears again threatening.  "Harm it's important to me that you 
accept my word.  Not just for this but for everything else.  It's a matter of trust.  
And it's upsetting to me that you don't trust me enough to believe me.  I would 
have let him--I freely admit that.  I would have let him because there is nothing I 
wouldn't do if it meant keeping you from being hurt."

"And do you know how much that knowledge scares me," he returned at once.  
"And how much I would have rather died than had you to let Palmer. . ."

"Well you need to get over that," she answered evenly.  "Discounting for a 
moment that he did nothing, try to realize how your death would have affected me.  
You are everything that is good and meaningful in my life.  That's been true for so 
long."

"I do want to believe you," he whispered, his voice barely audible.  "See I don't 
want to think that you did anything like that to save my sorry ass.  And that's the 
whole thing.  I'm not worth that."

"Oh yeah you are," she countered, with just the hint of  a smile.  "Bottom line, I 
was willing, but I didn't.  And it's done with.  I don't want to think any more about 
that trip or Palmer or a baby that was almost mine.  I can't.  Harm don't you see 
we wasted so much time--all those years we knew each other.  We're together 
now, and we're letting this kind of thing come between us."

"Well maybe. . .maybe" he stammered.  "Maybe we both have something to as 
you say 'get over' from that trip.  You know when we went to the cabin after, it was 
totally perfect.  I didn't let myself think about it; but once we got home it was like 
cold reality set in."

She nodded and lifted his hand to her lips, kissing the palm.  "Well why don't we 
go home and try to remember what we did that night in the cabin.  I know we don't 
have a hot tub, we have a warm shower and an even warmer bed."
==========
They lay together afterward, for the moment at least their problems behind them 
as their legs and arms intertwined.

"Did we make a baby that time?" he whispered.  

"Well if we didn't it won't be for lack of effort on your part," she assured him and 
her kiss was long and loving.  "You were magnificent."  

A contented silence followed for several minutes.

"Mac. . .Sarah, I don't want you to go," he spoke up suddenly.

"Go?" she frowned and then realized to what he was referring.  "Harm I feel like 
Chloe needs me.  That call was a cry for help."  

  
 "I need you too" he pouted.
 
 "I know but Harm's she's thirteen and you know at that age that everything 
 is magnified a hundred times in intensity. And I'm supposed to be her big 
 sister. "
 
 "I know. Doesn't mean I like the fact that you're ditching me for the 
 holiday."
 
 "What if I didn't ditch you for the Holiday? Martha invited both of us up to 
 visit. I could go early and spend a few days alone with Chloe and then you 
 could fly up on Wednesday night."
 
 "How early are you talking?" he inquired.
 
 "I'd like to spend at least the three days before with her" Mac replied. 
 "Harm, I never had a chance to sit down and explain to her what happened. 
 And I think that once I do, she'll be a little more accepting of our 
 relationship."
 
 "Am I allowed to whine and complain the whole time about you leaving me" 
 Harm said with a small smile.
 
 "No. But I want you to tell me whether or not you think you can handle 
 flying solo" she said seriously. "Because if you can't, we'll make other 
 arrangements."
 
 "Is this really important to you?" Harm asked.
 
 "Very. You know Chloe and how hard of a time she's had. If there's something 
 going on that I can help her with, I want to be there for her."
 
 "Then I can handle it. You sure you want me to come. I could just spend 
 Thanksgiving here all by myself eating a frozen turkey dinner."
 
 "Yes I want you to come" Mac smiled. "And I promise by the time you get 
 there Chloe will have changed her mind about you."
 
 "You think?"
 
 "I know" Mac smiled before leaning forward, her lips brushing his. "Trust 
 me."
 
 "With my life" Harm whispered before pulling her into his arms again.
 
 
 Sunday, November 18th
 Dulles International Airport
 3:00 PM EST
 
 "Okay, I hate this already" Harm complained. "And you haven't even left 
 yet."
 
 "I know but complaining about it isn't going to make it any easier" Mac 
 sighed. "And it's only for three days. You'll be there Wednesday night."
 
 "Yeah but" he started and stopped at her long look. "Okay, I'll shut up now. 
 No wonder you're glad to be going away for three days."
 
 "I'm not glad to be leaving you" Mac said as she wrapped her arms around 
 him. "But I am happy to be seeing Chloe again."
 
 "I know" he sighed. "So what are you and Miss Chloe going to do for three 
 days?"
 
 "Hopefully get her to talk. She wasn't as excited as I thought she'd be that 
 I'm coming. But Martha's property is huge and I'm sure we'll be out 
 horseback riding or something."
 
 "Promise me you'll be careful" he said as the last call came over the PA.
 
 "You got it sailor" she whispered "I love you. I'll see you on Wednesday. 
 Chloe and I will be at the airport to pick you up."
 
 "Love you too" he said softly as he hugged her tightly. "Call me when you 
 get in so I don't spend the night worrying please."
 
 "Of course" she said as she regretfully let go of him. "Bye sailor."
 
 "Bye Marine"
 
 ******************
 He jumped at the sound of the phone hours later, racing to answer it.
 
 "Hello"
 
 "Miss me yet" she said softly.
 
 "More than you know" he said with a long sigh. "How was your flight?"
 
 "A little bumpy but okay otherwise."
 
 "Bet it was nice flying without someone smashing your hand the whole time" 
 Harm teased.
 
 "Actually it was pretty lonely" Mac smiled.
 
 "Oh please, I think I'm going to throw up. " The loud voice of Chloe behind 
 her came through the phone and Mac turned and gave her a long glare.
 "I see she's still excited about us" Harm said quietly. "Maybe it's not a 
 good idea for me to come up there."
 
 "Don't worry about miss smarty pants," Mac said with another glare in 
 Chloe's direction.
 
 "Mac, I'm serious. If you think I shouldn't come up, I won't. I don't want 
 to ruin her holiday."
 
 "We'll see" Mac sighed. "But I do have to get going. I love you and I'll 
 talk to you later."
 
 She hung up and turned and gave Chloe a long glare. "What?" Chloe said 
 innocently. "I didn't do anything."
 
 "Never mind" Mac said as she reached for her luggage. "You and I are going 
 to have some long talks, young lady."
 
 "If this is why you came up then you can just turn around and go home" Chloe 
 snapped. "It's obvious you'd rather be with Harm anyway."
 
 "Chloe I came up here because I care about you and I wanted to spend some 
 time with you" Mac said quietly. "And because you and I need to clear the 
 air about whatever it is that's bothering you so much."
 
 "Like you care," Chloe said as she turned and walked away.
 
 Martha overheard the exchange and hurried over to Mac. "See what I mean" 
 Martha whispered. "She's like that with everyone."
 
 "So it's not just me," Mac said with a long sigh. "Well that's a relief."
 
 "Come on, let's get you home" Martha sighed as well. "I've got dinner 
 waiting at home for us all.  Kyle is on the road--no surprise there.  He makes 
good money trucking but sometimes I'm left with it all to do."
===================
"Remember I'm going out with Shannon and Tara," Chloe sighed as she sank into 
her chair, picking listlessly at the pot roast.

"Eat," Martha chided her, "and honey don't you think you should stay here tonight.  
After all Mac has come all this way to spend some time with you."

"Plans," she answered through a mouthful of carrot that she had finally allowed 
herself.  "Mac won't mind.  She's going to call Harm anyway."

"No as a matter of fact I was going to ask if you'd like to go someplace and just. . 
.well hang out," Mac smiled.  "But if you've made plans with your friends you go 
ahead.  I claim you for tomorrow though.  Early."

"To do what?"  Chloe eyed her suspiciously.

"You'll see.  You go have fun tonight.  But we're going out early, so you be ready."

Chloe opened her mouth to object and then stopped, knowing she was risking 
losing her privileges for tonight.  "For an extra hour tonight, deal."

"Half hour and quit while you're ahead," Martha advised, "now eat.  You don't eat 
enough to keep a minnow going."
=============
"At least you can see I wasn't exaggerating," Martha smiled while she and Mac 
cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen.  "I'm going to make some coffee so 
we can go talk while we have the chance."

"When Chloe first came to live with me, she talked of nothing but you and 
someone named Harm," Martha began when they were seated.  "Then suddenly 
when she mentioned you and a man, it was Mic.  And she would be bothered, but 
she never said much.  Almost a year ago she told me you were engaged and that 
she had decided if it was what you wanted she would be happy; and then all 
spring of course she was thrilled with the arrangements that were underway.  She 
was going to be the first in her group of friends to be a bridesmaid."  Martha took a 
long breath.  "Mac when she arrived home she was in tears."

Mac gasped, her hand to her mouth.  "I didn't know she was that upset. . .well OK 
I did I guess.  But I was pretty upset myself.  Harm nearly died Martha.   I almost 
lost him in the crash."

"Harm?  You're back to Harm?"  

Chloe didn't tell you?  And it's not a matter of 'back' anyway.  We were never really 
there.  When Chloe was talking about me and Harm before was the fantasies of a 
preadolescent.  No way was that going to happen back then.  But of course to the 
mind of a ten year old it's all so simple.  Harm left JAG for six months Martha, and 
I. . .well I drifted in to a quasi-relationship with Mic Brumby.  When Harm came 
back we were so far apart I didn't see it ever getting better and eventually--to 
make a very long sad story in which I come off badly, short--Mic and I became 
engaged.  Then came Harm's crash and faced with losing him, it was suddenly 
clear."

"OK this is all becoming a little easier to understand," Martha sighed.  "See when 
she came back, all she said was Harm had an accident with his fighter, but he 
was OK, and that you called the wedding."

"Mic called the wedding, bless his heart for seeing that I was not in love with him," 
Mac smiled sheepishly.

"Well whatever, it upset the child, and about the time I thought she was getting 
over, something else happened, something I'm totally clueless with.  And it can't 
relate to school, we're talking late June here."

"Chloe liked Mic, and he liked her," Mac smiled softly.  "He paid her some special 
attention, which I know she grew up without a lot of, so that's understandable.  At 
the same time she's also old enough to understand that grown ups have to do 
what's right.  And marrying when there's not that kind of love there would be about 
as wrong as you can get."

"You're in love with Harm."  It was a statement, not a question.

"Does it show?" Mac blushed and smiled at the same time.

"Your whole face, and your eyes, light up when you speak of him," Martha smiled.  
"And right now you look tired.  I'll bet a hot bath and a warm bed."

"Bingo.  And then tomorrow Miss Chloe and I are going on a little trip."
  
 "Trip where?" Martha asked.
 
 "I thought we'd do some camping" Mac smiled. "A little time away might get 
 her to open up a bit."
 
 "You sure you can handle her?" Martha asked.
 
 "I'm a Marine remember" Mac said as she stood up. "I'm going to go get that 
 hot bath."
 
 After soaking in the tub she retired to her room. She stared at the phone 
 for several minutes before picking it up and calling Harm.
 
 "Hey, I didn't expect to hear from you"
 
 "Chloe's out with her friends and I needed to hear your voice again" Mac 
 said softly. "Especially since I'm not going to talk to you until you get 
 here on Wednesday."
 
 "Why not?" Harm demanded.
 
 "Cause I'm going to take Chloe camping" Mac explained. "We're going to leave 
 tomorrow morning and come back Wednesday. I figure a few days in the 
 wilderness will get her to open up."
 
 "Camping?  Alone. You sure that's a good idea."
 
 "Harm, come on" Mac laughed. "I think I can handle two days of camping with 
 Chloe."
 
 "Can I help I worry about you" Harm sighed. "Why do you need to take her 
 camping?"
 
 "Because she's not going to open up to me with Martha here" Mac said 
 quietly. "This way it's just me and her."
 
 "Just promise me you'll be careful."
 
 "Always sailor" Mac whispered. "I guess I'll talk to you on Wednesday."
 
 "I love you. I'm glad you called. I missed you already."
 
 "I love you too."
 
 ************************
 Next Morning
 
 "Come on Chloe" Mac called. "I want to get moving sometime today."
 
 "All right geez" Chloe sighed as she stumbled down to the kitchen a few 
 minutes later. "Don't you believe in sleeping in?"
 
 "I told you we were heading out early this morning" Mac smiled.
 
 "So where are we going?" Chloe asked.
 
 "I thought you and I would do some camping" Mac replied. "Just you and me 
 for the next two and a half days."
 
 "Serious. How are you going to stand not talking to Harm for that long?"
 
 "I'll manage" Mac assured her. "So you what do you think? Sound like fun?"
 
 "Sure whatever" Chloe shrugged her shoulders and Martha shot Mac a 
 sympathetic look.
 
 "Don't sound so excited" Mac teased. "Is the idea of spending some time 
 alone with your big sister that bad?"
 
 "We'll see" Chloe said as she turned and headed upstairs.
 
 "Good luck" Martha sighed. "I have no idea what's come over that young lady. 
 She was always headstrong but now she's just down right impossible to deal 
 with it."
 
 "Yeah we'll we just have to fix that," Mac said with a small smile. "By the 
 time we get back this young lady will have a changed attitude."
 
 "God Bless you if she does" Martha said softly. "Okay, I've got all stuff 
 you wanted together. Now when shall I expect you back on Wednesday."
 
 "Harm's flight comes in at 6:00 and I want to be at the airport to meet him" 
 Mac replied. "So we'll probably be back in the afternoon."
 
 "Good cause they're predicting that storm to move in Wednesday night. Your 
 friend may have a bumpy ride in."
 
 "I hope not," Mac said quietly. "He's not real good with flying right now."
 
 "Well you know they're never right about these things" Martha said quickly, 
 sensing Mac's worry. "I'm sure he'll be in before it gets here."
 
 "Me too" Mac sighed. The thought of Harm flying alone through a storm wasn't 
 a pleasant one and she hoped the storm would hold off until after he got 
 here.
 
 **************************************
 JAG HQ's
 08:25 AM EST
 
 "Commander, do we have a new starting time?" AJ asked as Harm stepped off 
 the elevator.
 
 "Uh, no sir" Harm sighed. "Sorry sir. It won't happen again."
 
 "I would hope not," AJ said as he studied his officer closely. "Long weekend 
 Commander?"
 
 "I didn't sleep to well last night sir" Harm replied as he shifted 
 uncomfortably. "If you'll excuse me sir, I do need to get to court by 
 08:30."
 
 AJ nodded and Harm quickly escaped to his office. He'd overslept thanks to a 
 night of no sleep.  He'd gone to bed after Mac's call, only to wake up a few 
 hours later with the Palmer nightmare. And without Mac's arms to comfort 
 him, sleep had eluded him until the early hours of the morning, when he'd 
 finally succumbed to exhaustion.
 
 "Sir, you ready?" Bud asked as he stuck his head in Harm's office.
 
 "As soon as I get some coffee" Harm replied. "I'll meet you in there."
 
 Harm hurried to the breakroom, arriving just in time to see Singer pour the 
 last cup from the pot.
 
 "Oops, sorry" she smiled. "Next pot will be ready in five minutes."
 
 "I don't have five minutes" Harm groaned and turned and hurried to the 
 courtroom.

"Something wrong with the commander?" Bud frowned as he passed Harm and 
reached Singer, standing there with the empty coffee pot in her hand.

"Oh he must not be getting any," she answered flippantly.  "Not since the queen of 
the commercials left him high and dry."

"Lieutenant you need to. . ." Bud began and quit at her look of defiance.  Someday 
she would say the wrong thing to the wrong person and be laid out for it.  In the 
meantime he would ignore her.
==================
"Heads up," Chloe screeched and dropped her duffel bag to the bottom of the 
stairs. 

"Let's see you Ms. Madison," Mac called, stepping from her room where she had 
donned warm clothes.  "Not bad.  You ready?"

"My friends are doing fun things," she said softly.

"And when we get back Wednesday afternoon you can join them," Mac smiled.  
"But this is our time.  Sometimes we do things we don't really want to do for 
people we love.  This is one of those times.  I've called the outfitters in town and 
we have some food and sleeping bags and a tent waiting.  Hope you've got a 
strong back."

"Can we just go?"

"Right now."  

Martha was waiting at the door.  "You two have a wonderful time.  It's so beautiful 
out there now, hard to believe the weather is going to turn cold in two days."

"Thanks Martha.  We've dressed warm and have warm changes," Mac assured 
her.  You enjoy your peace and quiet."

"Are you kidding?  I'm going to spend the time on the phone telling people 'no 
Chloe is not here.  Is there a message?'"

Chloe rolled her eyes and opened the door, bounding out to the car.

"You know this might be OK after all," Mac smiled.  "At least she looks a little 
enthused."

Two hours later, now fully equipped, Mac parked at the Visitor Center of Green 
Mountain National Forest.  

"May I help you?"  The tall Ranger smiled down at Chloe who rolled her eyes.

"Yes sir, my friend and I are going to do two nights up along the Ethan Allen trail," 
Mac smiled.

"Oh yeah?  Well sign in here please, and don't forget to sign back out so we know 
a bear didn't get you."  He handed Mac a map of the area, showing the trail.  "Just 
a word of caution though, I know it seems warm enough out there right now.  But 
what's fifty can turn to twenty in just a couple hours.  And keep an eye on the 
weather.  There's an old fashioned nor'easter heading in, and you don't want to be 
out there then.  You'll know when the wind comes around and the temperature 
starts to drop.  Thing is, no one told the storm it wasn't due for forty-eight hours if 
you get my drift."

"Sir I'm a Marine and I do know a little about survival," she smiled again.  "But we 
will be back here by mid afternoon Wednesday latest."

"Oh yeah we will," Chloe piped up.  "She's got someone special to pick up at the 
airport."

"Very," Mac grinned affably.  "It was a promise.  Now let's get it moving Ms. Chloe.  
I think we can make it to Woodsey's Lake for tonight."

"Call someone I'm being kidnapped," Chloe shrieked as Mac dragged her out the 
door.
==========================
JAG HQ
1PM

"Sir how did it go?" Bud asked as the courtroom emptied for the afternoon.  "Uh. . 
.never mind."  One look at Harm and another at Turner told him the answer.  
"Sorry sir.  Commander Turner, congratulations."

"Harm you didn't put up much of a fight," Turner smiled.  "But he was innocent.  
Did you concede?"

"Sturgis I'm not in the mood for BS right now," he warned.  "My head is going to 
split open any second.  But point in fact, yes he was innocent and the people had 
no case, so I'm glad for you.  Excuse me."

He did not make half the twenty feet to his office before AJ stopped him.  
"Commander you let Donaldson go?"

"Sir I had no case, which if the convening authority had listened to me we could 
have saved all this."

"OK well I'll read that in your report.  What do you hear from Colonel Mackenzie 
and Chloe?"

"They're on a camp out sir," he sighed.  "And yes I'm worried."

AJ clapped his shoulder and shook his head, lowering his voice to a bare whisper. 
"I would be too I'm sure if someone I cared about as much as you do her were 
doing that.  On the other hand she is. . ."

"A Marine, yes sir, I'm all too painfully aware of that," he sighed.  "I'm reminded of 
that constantly.  But she's still a woman, the woman I lo. . ."

"You almost got out the word Commander," AJ smiled.  "Son it's not a secret.  Not 
as big a one as you two might think at least."

"You know what sir, I don't even care," Harm said fiercely.  "OK yes I love her.  
There I've said it.  Now fire me or transfer me or do whatever. . ."

AJ folded his hands across his chest, an amused expression on his face.

"Actually sir, no need to do either.  I'll be resigning in the face of my 
insubordination."

"What you will do Commander is go home and get some rest," AJ ordered.  "And 
when you and Mac come back to work next Monday we'll sit and talk.  But no one 
is being fired or transferred, or resigning for that matter.  Get out of here."

"Yes sir, right away," Harm gasped, knowing when he was being let off easy.  At 
the same time he felt a new lightness as the secret, which was not so much of 
one, had finally been revealed.

 "Anything wrong with the Commander sir?" Harriet asked as Harm scampered out 
 of the office a few minutes later.
 
 "No Lt., not a thing" AJ smiled.
 
 *************************
 Green Mountain National Forest
 Same Time
 
 "How you doing kiddo" Mac asked as she turned to check on Chloe.
 
 "You didn't say this was going to be a workout" Chloe panted. "I don't have 
 to worry about those five pounds anymore. I think I sweated them off a few 
 miles ago."
 
 "Let's take a break" Mac suggested as she looked around, deciding this was a 
 good place to rest. "We'll have lunch and then find our spot for the night 
 before it gets dark."
 
 "I can live with that" Chloe said as she dropped her stuff.
 
 "So you going to tell me what's up with you?" Mac asked as they ate. "And 
 don't tell me nothing cause I know that isn't the case."
 
 "Well everything was going along fine until you decided not to marry Mic" 
 Chloe retorted.
 
 "So me not marrying Mic messed your life up?"
 
 "Yes, no, well it was the beginning of everything being mucked up" Chloe 
 said finally. "But I still don't understand why you didn't marry Mic."
 
 "Chloe, I didn't love Mic enough to marry him" Mac said quietly. "Yes I did 
 love him but not the way a person should when they're planning on getting 
 married. I was more in love with the idea of being married to Mic than I was 
 in love with him."
 
 "So basically you figured no one else would ask you so you might as well 
 marry Mic?"
 
 "Something like that" Mac sighed. "I'd convinced myself I was in love with 
 Mic because I wanted to be married."
 
 "So you used him?"
 
 "I did not use him" Mac said defensively.
 
 "You sure didn't wait long to hook up with Harm once Mic was gone" Chloe 
 countered. "You were using Mic to make Harm jealous."
 
 "I was not. Yes what I did to Mic was wrong but I never intentionally set 
 out to hurt him. And no I wasn't using Mic to make Harm jealous."
 
 "Yeah right" Chloe rolled her eyes. "So is Harm ever going to marry you? Or 
 are you two just going to sleep together forever."
 
 "Chloe Madison you're pushing it" Mac said irritably. "To answer your 
 question, yes we are going to get married one day. He's already asked me."
 
 "So where's the ring?"
 
 "He hasn't gotten me one yet" Mac explained. "We haven’t told anyone at JAG 
 about our relationship yet."
 
 "He asked you to marry him but he didn't give you a ring? That's kind of 
 lame."
 
 "Chloe, you're going to have to get over whatever it is you have against 
 Harm because he's going to be a part of my life from now on. And no it's not 
 lame. He doesn't have to give me a ring to show me he loves me. He does it 
 every day in his words and his actions. And I don't need a ring as a promise 
 that we'll be married. He asked me and I know that one day when we're both 
 ready we will."
 
 "You really are in love with him aren't you?" Chloe asked with a scowl.
 
 "Yes I am" Mac said with a smile. "And when we get married, I'd like to have 
 you in our wedding."
 
 "I'll think about it" Chloe sighed.
 
 "Okay, your turn. I told you about Mic. You telling me what else is wrong 
 besides not being in a wedding this summer."
 
 "Kevin" Chloe sighed.
 
 "I figured that" Mac smiled. "Who's Kevin?"
 
 "He's this guy I like and I thought he liked me. He lives close by and we 
 used to go riding a lot during then summer. But then this new girl moved in 
 after school started and he's been paying attention to her all the time 
 because she's cute, bubbly and blonde."
 
 "I know the type" Mac sighed. "Go on."
 
 "That's it" Chloe said miserably. "And there's a winter dance coming up 
 before Christmas and I just know he's going to ask her to the dance and not 
 me. I'll be stuck in the corner with all the other losers who can't get a 
 date."
 
 "Hey, stop that" Mac ordered. "You are not a loser. And how do you know this 
 Kevin isn't going to ask you and not her."
 
 "Well I asked Tara, who talked Stephanie, who's dating Rick, who's friends 
 with Kevin. According to Rick, Kevin doesn't know who he wants to go with. 
 And Julie, that's Miss Blonde's name, keeps dropping hints to him that he 
 should ask her."
 
 "And I thought Harm and I had problems communicating" Mac said with a small 
 smile. "Good thing we're not in junior high or we'd be in trouble."
 
 "Can we stick with my problems please?" Chloe pouted. "You have Harm. I'm the 
one 
 who's alone."
 
 "Okay, sorry" Mac said quickly. "So you like Kevin, but you're not sure 
 Kevin likes you or Julie?"
 
 "Bingo" Chloe sighed. "Mac, I really like Kevin. I want him to ask me to the 
 dance." She sniffled as two tears slid down her face.
 
 "Chloe, it's going to be okay" Mac said softly as she gathered her into her 
 arms. "I know it seems like it won't be it will."
 
 "No it won't" Chloe sniffled.

"Ssshhh yes it will," Mac soothed.  "I know it seems hopeless right now and 
believe me I know all about hopeless."

"My life just seems so out of control," she went on miserably, sniffling back tears.  
"I mean I didn't even think much about boys until Kevin, and then we were great 
friends and then Little Miss Blonde came into the picture and. . ."  She stopped to 
choke down a sob and Mac rested her chin on Chloe's head.

"You're sure her name isn't Renee?"

"Huh?  No," she sniffled, again, not making the connection.

Mac smiled again.  "Honey that out of control thing is something you're going to 
experience many times in your life.  I could name about six times when I have.  
And as recently as when I went to Sydney and took Mic's ring.  You know what--
after that it was like I was on a train traveling at full speed.  A train that I knew was 
going to wreck--no doubt in my mind, but that I could neither stop or jump off.  It 
took Harm's crash to get me to do that.  To call a halt before I hurt myself--or him--
any further."

She felt Chloe's head nod beneath her chin as she struggled to understand.

"Are you and Harm going to have a baby?"

The pain that question caused was deep and immediate and Mac had to swallow 
hard.  "Yeah we are," she finally got out.  "When God decides we're ready."

"And what about a wedding?  Soon?"

"We're working on it.  And I do want you to be there, and to wear your dress, or 
another if you've outgrown it by then; but Chloe we're not doing that whole big 
deal again.  I can't--I won't.  It's just going to be Harm's family, the people from 
JAG and you, and Martha and your Dad if they want to come maybe.  Right now 
I'm thinking spring some time, maybe at Harm's grandmother's place.  I don't 
know.  Sometimes it's hard enough just to get through one day."

"You got that right," she muttered.  "Enough talking, can we go."

They hiked the rest of the afternoon and as Mac had predicted they reached 
Woodsey's Lake before dark.  "You'd make a good Marine," she grinned, ruffling 
Chloe's hair.

"I'm thinking about it," she said softly, much to Mac's surprise.

"You wanna share more of that?" she asked casually.  

Chloe shrugged.  "Well I was thinking I might want to go to the Academy, and then 
to flight school, but for Marines."

"You're just saying that for brownie points," she teased.

"With you--not likely," Chloe scoffed.  "I don't need to impress you.  I mean. . ."  
She stopped and looked away shyly.  "You love me for what I am don't you?"

"Oh honey of course I do," she sighed, giving her a huge hug.  "Of course I do."

"Mic liked me," she said softly, her voice muffled by Mac's shirt.  "He didn't treat 
me like a baby, even if you think it was wrong for me to taste the champagne."

"I think it was not a good idea," Mac admitted.  "But that's got a lot to do with me 
being an alcoholic.  And I do understand that Mic was showing you some attention 
that you didn't get a lot of growing up.  He's a sweet man Chloe.  But that doesn't 
make it right for us to get married."

"OK I can sort of understand that," she agreed, "but Mac, why did you wait that 
long to decide?"

Mac shook her head sadly.  "I don't exactly know.  Except that if I looked deep 
enough into my heart, I would have been able to say how much I loved Harm, and 
then when I thought he could be dead, it was all pretty clear to me."

"But he was OK.  I mean he got back OK," she said thoughtfully.

"Chloe Harm was dead when they pulled him out of the water," Mac told her.  
"And they lost him once again in the hospital."

Chloe said nothing for a moment, drawing her knees up under her chin.  "I didn't 
know. Harm was in the hospital and I was sent home remember. You must have 
been scared."
 
 "Terrified" Mac whispered, the thought of those moments still bringing tears 
 to her eyes.
 
 "I'm sorry," Chloe said automatically. "I didn't realize he was hurt that 
 bad. He's okay now though isn't he?"
 
 "Yes he is" Mac said softly. "But he went through a lot."
 
 "Does he love you as much as you love him?" Chloe asked.
 
 "I hope so" Mac smiled. "Enough talking. Let's get some dinner before we 
 both fall asleep."
 
 JAG HQ's
 Tuesday Morning
 
 "Good morning sir" Harriet greeted Harm as he stepped off the elevator.
 
 "What's good about it?" Harm growled. He'd gone home the previous afternoon, 
 promptly falling asleep for several hours. Of course then he'd been unable 
 to sleep during the night, and as usual had fallen asleep only to have the 
 image of Palmer return again.
 
 "You're missing the Colonel aren't you sir?" Harriet said knowingly as she 
 followed him into his office.
 
 "Is it so obvious?" Harm sighed.
 
 "Uh, you've been in a bad mood since she left to visit Chloe" Harriet 
 smiled.
 
 "Harriet, don't you have somewhere to be?" Harm said irritably. "Instead of 
 standing here telling me things I already know."
 
 "Yes sir" Harriet said as she executed a quick exit from his office, nearly 
 running into Bud.
 
 "Is he in any better of a mood today?" Bud asked. "I need to go over the 
 Rawlins case with him."
 
 "Enter at your own risk" Harriet warned. "He's just as grumpy as he was 
 yesterday."
 
 "Great" Bud sighed as he headed to Harm's office. "Morning sir."
 
 "Yes Bud" Harm said with a long look.
 
 "Uh, we're supposed to go over the Rawlins case today. When would be a good 
 time?"
 
 "I'll let you know."
 
 For a second Bud stood there before realizing he'd effectively been 
 dismissed.
 
 "Told you he was grumpy," Harriet said as Bud wandered back. "He misses the 
 Colonel."
 
 "Who told you that?"
 
 "Bud, you are so blind sometimes," Harriet said shaking her head. "He's been 
 in a bad mood since Mac left to go visit Chloe. I think the Commander and 
 the Colonel are dating."
 
 "No way."
 
 "Yes way" Harriet smiled. "And of course he's grumpy because he misses her. 
 You know they've been inseparable since his accident."
 
 Green Mountain National Forest
 Same Time
 
 "Come on sleepy head" Mac said as she gave Chloe a shake in her sleeping 
 bag.
 
 "Don't you believe in sleeping in?" Chloe complained. "I am on break from 
 school you know."
 
 "This is sleeping in" Mac smiled. "You're lucky I didn't wake you at 5:00 
 like I usually do."
 
 "Please no" Chloe groaned as she sat up.
 
 "You having fun yet?" Mac asked.
 
 "I could think of worse places to be" Chloe said with a small smile. "And 
 yeah I'm having fun. I'm really glad you came up here."
 
 "Me too" Mac said as she gave her little sister a big hug. "You feeling 
 better now?"
 
 "A little. I still hate Julie and I still want Kevin to ask me to the 
 dance."
 
 "He might" Mac smiled. "You'll just have to wait and see. But you know you 
 can always call me and talk to me about this stuff. I'm always there to 
 listen."
 
 "I know" Chloe sighed. "You think you can do me one other favor?"
 
 "Sure, what is it?"
 
 "Can you explain to Grandma that I'm thirteen and I need a little more 
 space? She's always hovering over me and it's so embarrassing when I try and 
 talk on the phone cause she's always listening in."
 
 "I'll see what I can do" Mac smiled. "But only if you promise me you'll be 
 nice to Harm when he comes up tomorrow."
 
 "I guess I can do that" Chloe sighed. "You sure he loves you as much as Mic 
 did? Cause I know Mic would have done anything for you."
 
 "Harm loves me a lot Chloe" Mac said softly. "I think once you see him again 
 you'll realize it."
 
 "Just looking out for my big sister" Chloe smiled.

"And she loves you for it," Mac smiled and squeezed her shoulder.  "But you have 
to trust that I know what I'm doing here."

"You didn't trust me that time?"

"Excuse me?"

"That time I told you that you were in love with Harm," she grinned.  "I knew it 
then, but what happened anyway?"

"I think we were getting there," she admitted sheepishly, "and then he went to sea 
duty and I didn't handle it well.  It tore me up to be honest--at first, and then I 
found out that I could live without such a thing as a Harmon Rabb.  It was my 
defense against how much I missed him.  A wall I threw up if you want to think of it 
that way.  And when he came back he had his own wall.  And by then Mic and I 
got to be good friends.  Chloe your instincts were right.  He's a great guy--as a 
friend, and some woman somewhere is destined to fall in love with him.  Anyway, 
for that time Harm and I drifted along, some days being not hardly civil to each 
other I'm not proud to admit.  Then a few months before the wedding some of the 
old feelings started surfacing.  And of course the wedding and you know the story 
from there."

"Yeah," she sighed and yawned.  "But I think you could have been happy with Mic 
if he'd had the chance to make you."

"Maybe so," Mac sighed as well, giving the fire a poke to bring it up for breakfast.  
"Chloe I am very very happy with Harm.  I love him with every fiber of my being.  
And that's really all you need to know."

"No I need to know one more thing," she piped up, her eyes dancing.  "Are you 
two doing it?"

Mac leveled her gaze at the young girl, debating her answer.  She wanted the girl 
to trust her, and if she were to evade the question it did not seem like she could 
ask trust if she were unwilling to give it.  "Yes," she answered simply.  "Harm and I 
make love.  In the context of our committed and loving relationship.  Can you 
understand that?"

"Yeah I think so," she sighed, "but thanks for telling me.  We're going to hike to the 
top of Mount Carlson right?"

"Hey that's my future Marine," Mac grinned, happy for the change of subject and 
happy for Chloe's enthusiasm.
===============
JAG HQ
Noon

"Commander you were ruthless in there," Turner remarked mildly as they poured 
from the courtroom.  "You made a lieutenant cry."

"A lying lieutenant," he retorted.  "And the people proved their point.  And with any 
luck I am going into that office over there, eat a cup of yogurt and no one will want 
another thing from me the rest of today."

"When do you see Mac, if I can ask without getting decked?"

"My flight is at 1330 tomorrow, thank god," he sighed, not realizing how earnest he 
sounded and Turner smiled gently.  

"And you're bringing her home with you right?"

"Of course," he scowled, "why?"

"Because if you weren't we were going to have a Secnav's signature forging 
contest and get you on orders to Iceland," Turner chuckled and clapped his arm.  
"Friend you may as well give her the ring, let all of us congratulate both of you and 
have done with it."

"Don't talk to me," Harm growled, but the thought of doing just that made his voice 
lighter.  "Hey I know I've been a bear around here.  We'd had some. . .well bumps 
in the road and then this trip.  Thanks for putting up with me."

"Oh you owe us, and we'll be collecting," Turner laughed as well, waving as he left 
him walking toward his office.
===================
MOUNT CARLSON
WEDNESDAY DAWN

"Mac wake up I'm freezing.  Mac wake up."

"Chloe now who's not sleeping in," Mac demanded sleepily.  "We agreed after 
exhausting ourselves yesterday we'd sleep until it was time to start down for the 
car."

"But I'm freezing Mac," she wailed.  "It's gotten a lot colder.  And there wasn't this 
wind remember.  Listen to it."

Mac sat up, hearing what she was talking about and feeling the frigid cold that had 
permeated the tent.  The warning words of the Ranger came back to her, about 
the temperature drops and the wind.  "Chloe up and add on what clothes you 
can," Mac ordered quickly, now all Marine.  "We're going to start down this 
mountain now."
  
 They quickly packed up their tent and supplies and after grabbing a quick 
 breakfast they started down, the wind howling even more.
 
 "So much for the storm coming later in the day" Mac muttered as they hiked.
 
 "What time was Harm coming in?" Chloe asked and Mac felt a wave of fear run 
 through her. He'd be flying alone in the storm. "Mac, what's wrong?" Chloe 
 asked, seeing Mac's look of fear.
 
 "Harm's had a hard time flying since the accident" Mac sighed. "He was okay 
 on our last trip but I'm not sure if he can handle flying alone in a storm."
 
 "Harm's afraid to fly?" Chloe asked. "You're kidding right?"
 
 "I wish I was" Mac sighed. "And after what he went through its not all that 
 surprising."
 
 "I guess I never thought about it like that," Chloe said thoughtfully. "Mac, 
 he'll be okay."
 
 "Thanks Chloe" Mac said with a small smile. "Let's get out of here before 
 this gets any worse.
 
 ********************
 Dulles International Airport
 1:30 PM EST
 
 "Okay, Rabb you can do this" Harm said to himself as the last call for his 
 flight came over the PA. "Suck it up and be a man."
 
 Minutes later he sat down in his seat, hoping he wouldn't have anyone next 
 to him. He didn't need any witnesses if he went into meltdown again. Course 
 that wasn't the case and seconds later the flight attendant came down the 
 aisle with a little girl, stopping at the seat next to him.
 
 "Great" Harm murmured as the flight attendant buckled the small girl in.
 
 "Hi" the little girl said as she turned to Harm. "I'm Jenny. What's your 
 name?"
 
 "Hi Jenny" Harm said with a small smile. "I'm Harm."
 
 "This is my first plane ride" Jenny said excitedly. "Have you ever flown 
 before?"
 
 "A few times" Harm smiled.
 
 "I'm going to see my Grandma" Jenny continued.
 
 "All alone?" Harm asked.
 
 "Mommy and Daddy are broken up," Jenny said quietly. "Daddy moved out last 
 week and Mommy thought it would be better if I went to Grandma's."
 
 "I'm sorry about your Mommy and Daddy" Harm said sympathetically. He was 
 about to say more when the plane started to taxi down the runway.
 
 "Can I hold your hand?" Jenny asked as the plane started to lift off the 
 ground. "I'm scared."
 
 "Sure" Harm smiled as he took her little hand in his.
 
 ********************************
 Green Mountain National Park
 Same Time
 
 The snow had started to fall and Mac kept pushing Chloe to keep moving. She 
 wasn't as concerned about her and Chloe as she was about Harm flying in the 
 storm. She couldn't be there to fly with him but she wanted to be at the 
 airport when he landed.
 
 "Chloe, come on" Mac urged as she turned around to check on Chloe.
 
 "Coming" Chloe called tiredly.
 
 Mac turned and started to walk again, her mind still on Harm. Her attention 
 elsewhere, she didn't notice the path was starting to ice over from the 
 early morning rain that was now freezing. She let out a cry as she suddenly 
 lost her footing, sliding off the path and down a small ravine. She heard 
 Chloe's scream before her head struck a large rock, sending her into the 
 darkness.
 
 "Mac" Chloe screamed as she hurried down the ravine to where Mac lay. "Mac, 
 wake up" Chloe cried as she reached her. "Mac, please."
 
 ****************************
 Over the East Coast
 2 Hours Later
 
 "Harm, I'm scared," Jenny said again as the plane rolled around in the 
 turbulent air.
 
 "It's okay" Harm assured the little girl, at the same time trying to keep 
 his own fears in check. The storm that they'd predicted to show up later had 
 obviously come early. "You want to hold my hand again?"
 
 Jenny nodded as she reached for Harm's hand, holding onto it tightly. The 
 plane made a sudden drop and Jenny let out a scream.
 
 "It's okay," Harm said as he gently pulled the trembling little girl against 
 him. "It's just a little turbulence because of the storm."
 
 "Are we going to crash?" Jenny asked, her eyes wide with fear.
 
 "No, we're not going to crash" Harm said quickly. "We're going to be fine."
 
 The plane dipped again and this time he bit down hard on his lip to keep 
 from crying out.
 
 "Harm" Jenny wailed. "Make it stop."
 
 "I wish I could sweetie," he said after a deep breath. "Just close your eyes 
 and try and think of something else. Something that makes you happy."
 
 She closed her eyes tightly and Harm did the same, thinking of the one 
 person that could calm him. Mac. The woman he loved. The woman who loved 
 him.
=================
 
Martha Anderson looked once more at the clock and then out at the rainswept 
driveway.  Mac had not returned with Chloe, nor had she called to say she was 
going directly to the airport.  Something was not right.  Something was wrong in 
fact--very wrong.  There was no way she would have missed picking up Harm, not 
as much as she was looking forward to doing so.  Another look at the clock.  She 
would have to leave now if she was to be there to meet Harm. 

Hastily she scribbled a note and left it propped on the kitchen table.  When she 
walked out to her car the cold rain went right through her and she looked to the 
mountains, knowing that if there was rain here in the valley, there was snow in 
mountains.  "Please God, please be watching over them."

Aboard the plane Harm and little Jenny were holding hands as the pilot made his 
descent into the Montpellier airport.  The aircraft bounced its way through the 
clouds.  "Just think of your grandmother waiting for you," Harm coached.

"Who's waiting for you?  Somebody you like?"

"Someone I love, very much," Harm declared, letting Mac's face swim before his 
closed eyes.  "I'm coming Marine," he breathed.

The plane finally touched down, its tires screaming in protest as they hit the wet 
runway.  

"I think we're there," Jenny whispered, "we're slowing down.  Are you still scared?"

"No I think I'm OK."  Harm let out his breath and squeezed her hand once more 
before letting her go.  "Thanks Jenny."

Jenny's hand reached for his as they walked up the jetway and in a matter of 
seconds she was jumping up and down.  "There she is Harm, there she is.  It's my 
Grandma."

"I'm glad honey, I'm glad," he said softly, releasing her and letting her run into the 
arms of the woman.  

"Grandma, this is Harm and he held my hand when we were both scared."

"Ma'am," Harm said automatically as he looked around, offering her his hand at 
the same time.  "Harmon Rabb ma'am."

"Susan Richards," the woman smiled, "and thank you for taking care of this little 
live wire."

"My pleasure," Harm smiled.  "Now that I've delivered her into your hands, I need 
to find the person who's meeting me."  As he was speaking his eyes swept the 
gate area.  No Mac or Chloe.  Fear began to rise within him until. . .

"Excuse me, you're Harm?"

He wheeled to face an agitated looking woman coming for him, her raincoat 
soaked from the walk in from parking.

"Yes ma'am," he gasped, his fear rising.  "You're Mrs. Anderson?  Please, has 
something happened to Mac?"

"I'm not sure," she sighed.  "Call me Martha.  I'm not sure.  I just know I'm scared."

Harm took her arm and led her to a bank of chairs.  "You need to tell me what's 
happening.  We'll deal with it, but just tell me." Inwardly he knew something was 
badly wrong, outwardly he wanted a calmness that would help Martha to explain. 

"They must still be in the mountains," she said tearfully.  "Harm, Mac wouldn't 
have let anything stop her from coming for you as excited as she was; and if she 
was going to be delayed she would have called me."

"Martha likely she couldn't get a cell call out from up there," he told her, trying to 
calm his own racing thoughts.  

"Harm she wouldn't have let anything stop her from being here, and besides, she 
would have been on her way at the very least and called to say that.  She has my 
cell phone number."

"Well we're not doing any good sitting here," he declared, helping her to her feet. 
"Now you listen though.  Mac is a Marine and she's been in tight spots before and 
always come through.  This is no exception."  >Please God< he added under his 
breath.  "Let's get out of here.  You'll show me where she's gone. Or maybe we'll 
get lucky and she'll call while we're on the way."  

Martha nodded soberly.  "I'm scared for them Harm.  The mountains are no place 
to be in one of these storms."

Harm's shoulders slumped.  "I'm scared too."
=================

"Mac, Mac please," Chloe begged.  "Please wake up.  I don't know what to do.  
I'm scared Mac.  I'm scared."

  
 She burst into tears again when she received no response from Mac, not sure 
 what else to do at that point but cry. She'd already found Mac's cell phone 
 and found it wouldn't work up in the mountains, and there was no way she 
 would leave Mac. She'd unpacked their sleeping blankets, placing Mac's over 
 her and wrapping herself up in the other one so they could stay warm. But 
 with the wind just continued to blow the cold air in and Chloe huddled near 
 Mac to keep them both warm.
 
 
 Green Mountain National Park
 Visitors Center
 Two Hours Later
 
 "No sir, they haven't signed back out" the ranger informed Harm. "I know 
 which two you're talking about. I was here when they signed in. I warned 
 them about the storm."
 
 "Something must have happened to them," Martha said anxiously.
 
 "Did they say where they were going?" Harm asked.
 
 "Ethan Allen trail which leads up to Mount Carlson" the ranger replied. "Not 
 a good place to be right now with the snow coming down like it is. I'll get 
 a search and rescue group together but with it being the night before the 
 holiday it may take some time to get everyone in."
 
 "I need to get up there," Harm said as he looked out the window. "Now."
 
 "Sir, I understand you're worried, but it's best to leave this to us."
 
 "If you think I’m going to sit around here and wait for you to get a crew 
 together, you're crazy," Harm said irritably. "My fiancée is out there 
 somewhere. And the only reason she wouldn't be here is because something 
 happened which means she's probably lying somewhere hurt. I am not going to 
 sit around and wait. Just give me directions to the trail and I'll go 
 myself."
 
 "Okay, give me five minutes and I'll go with you" the ranger sighed. "Pete 
 will be in and by then I'll be able to put out the word that we've got two 
 missing people. And before we go, I suggest you put on a few more layers of 
 clothes. By the way, the names Tom and I'll do my best to help you find your 
 fiancée and her sister."
 
 "Harm" Harm replied. "And thanks."
 
 He headed to the car and moments later had added several layers under his 
 winter parka. Fortunately Mac had mentioned doing some outdoor activities so 
 he'd brought plenty of warm clothes, including the parka and boots.
 
 "Okay, Pete's here and he'll keep an eye out for them here" Tom said a few 
 minutes later. "If they show up, he'll radio us. And the search and rescue 
 team will be out shortly."
 
 "Sounds good" Harm nodded. He turned to Martha and gave the older woman a 
 reassuring look. "Try not to worry. I'll find them and we'll be back here 
 before you know it."
 
 "Thank you" Martha said in a teary voice. "I'm not going anywhere until all 
 of you are back safe."
 
 With Tom in the lead, he and Harm started down the trail. Harm was doing his 
 best to keep his fears in check, hoping that there was good reason for Mac's 
 delay besides the awful possibilities his mind was conjuring up. He uttered 
 a silent prayer heavenwards; praying both she and Chloe would be okay.
 
 ******************************
 
 A small groan from Mac sent a wave of hope through Chloe and she leaned 
 closer to Mac.
 
 "Mac, can you hear me?" Chloe asked. "Mac, wake up."
 
 "Harm" Mac murmured, her first thought of the man she loved.
 
 "Mac, its Chloe. I need you to wake up."
 
 Chloe's fearful voice finally cut through her daze and Mac finally pushed 
 her eyes opened, grimacing when she turned her head to look at Chloe.
 
 "Chloe?"
 
 "Mac, you feel and hit your head" Chloe said tearfully. "And I couldn't wake 
 you up and I didn't know if you were okay. And I didn't want to leave you 
 and get help cause I was afraid I would get lost."
 
 "Slow down honey" Mac said as she closed her eyes again against the 
 pounding. "Everything's going to be okay."
 
 "Mac, it's snowing like crazy and it's getting colder" Chloe wailed.
 
 Mac opened her eyes again, realizing by the fading light that it was already 
 late afternoon.
 
 "Oh god, Harm" Mac cried. "He's going to be frantic when we're not at the 
 airport."
 
 "You think he'll come and find us?" Chloe asked.
 
 "You can bet he will. But in the meantime, we should see if we can get down 
 ourselves." She forced herself to a sitting position, hanging onto Chloe 
 when the world swam around her.
 
 "Mac, are you okay?" Chloe asked nervously. "Mac?"
 
 "I think…" was all she managed before turning away and losing the contents 
 of her stomach.
 
 "Mac, what's wrong?" Chloe demanded. "Mac, I'm scared. Tell me why you just 
 got sick."
 
 "I'm okay" Mac tried to reassure Chloe. "I'll be okay. Let's see if I can 
 stand up."
 
 She started to get up, only to cry out in pain and sink back to the ground 
 when she placed weight on her ankle.
 
 "Mac, I think you broke your ankle" Chloe said as she studied Mac's ankle. 
 "It's all swollen and huge."
 
 "I racked it up pretty good I think," she gasped through clenched teeth.  "OK give 
me a minute here. "

"A minute to do what," Chloe shrieked.  "We're going to freeze to death up here."

"A minute to see if I can walk," she panted.  "Otherwise you're going to have to 
walk down this mountain alone."

"NO," she shrieked again.  "I won't leave you alone here.  You could die."

"Not from a broken ankle," Mac frowned, "which actually I don't think it's really 
broken.  Let me lean on you.  We'll leave the stuff here and come back for it or 
something."

"Mac I don't know what to do," Chloe wailed.  "I feel like I should make you sit 
down or lay down and I'm afraid if I do that you're going to freeze to death but if 
you walk you could fall and get hurt worse."

"Chloe breathe," Mac smiled despite her pain, and her eyes closed for a moment 
as her head throbbed in time with her ankle.  "Calm down future Marine.  You 
know a good Marine believes she can handle anything.  Now I need for you to be 
calm and to think.  Starting with your voice which is making my head pound."

"Sorry," she whispered and took a long breath.  "Tell me what to do."  

"OK, together we're going to get off this mountain," she told her firmly.  "But if 
something happens, if I fall out of the march, you are to go on down and find help.  
You're reading me right?"

Solemnly the young girl nodded.   "I'm scared."

"I am too, but I know Harm is looking for us, but more important, I know that you 
and I can rely on ourselves and each other to get through this," she said fiercely.  
"Now let's march Marine."
=============
"Harm slow down," Tom ordered, "if you slip on this trail you could fall a long way 
down."

"Can't," he panted back over his shoulder  "I have to find her.  Have to find her."

"Harm stop," he commanded, putting on a burst of speed and catching his arm.  
"Look down there.  And feel how slick it's getting underfoot.  Now slow down.  If 
we have to pull you out of here that' s not going to do her any good."

Harm stopped and forced himself to focus on the ranger's words, following where 
he was pointing.  "My god Sarah could have fallen down there somewhere or 
Chloe did and she might have needed to stay with her or maybe. . ."

"Or maybe you should save your breath and keep walking--just do it more 
cautiously," Tom advised.  "Harm we'll find them."

"Have you ever not?"

Tom shook his head in puzzlement.

"Has there ever been a time when people were stranded on this mountain and it 
ended badly," he clarified.

"Yeah, two autumns ago," Tom admitted.  "A family of four got caught in a storm 
and . . .hey this is going to be different though.  Your Sarah impressed me as 
being able to well handle herself.  She's fine, and the girl too." 
  
 
 "Please Lord" Harm whispered under his breath. He couldn't even think about 
 not finding them alive. She had to be okay.
 
 "Harm, we'll find them" Tom assured him. "We don't have much light left 
 though. I'm guessing that's not going to stop you though."
 
 "No way" Harm said firmly. "We've got lights. I'm not stopping until I find 
 her."
 
 "Understood" Tom nodded and continued on.
============== 
 "Break Chloe" Mac panted, sliding down to the ground in pain. "Take five."
 
 "Mac, you okay?" Chloe asked anxiously. "Mac?"
 
 "Yeah, I'll be fine" Mac managed between clenched teeth.  The pain in her 
 ankle was nothing compared to the pounding in her head and she closed her 
 eyes in an attempt to block it out.
 
 "You don't look fine. Mac, we're not going to get out of here tonight are 
 we?" Chloe wailed. "We're stuck up here in the storm."
 
 "No hysterics please" Mac groaned. "Chloe I need you keep going without me. 
 I can't go any further. "
 
 "Mac, I don't want to leave you" Chloe sniffled. "What if something happens 
 to you while I'm gone."
 
 "Nothing is going to happen. I'm just going to sit here against this tree 
 until you get back with help. Chloe, you have to go."
 
 "Are you sure?" Chloe asked. "Mac, I'm scared."
 
 "I know sweetie, but you'll be okay" Mac said as she gave Chloe a hug. "Just 
 follow the path. I'm sure Harm and others are on their way up and you can 
 bring them back to me."
 
 "You sure you'll be okay?" Chloe asked again.
 
 "I'll be fine," Mac said with a forced smile. "Now go before it gets too 
 dark. You've got the flashlight right?"
 
 "Yes ma'am" Chloe assured her. "I'll be back with Harm real soon." She 
 unfolded the sleeping bag again and wrapped it around Mac before taking off.
 
 Mac nodded and waited until Chloe had scampered off before closing her eyes 
 again.
 
 *********************
 The wind was colder and the snow starting to come down harder as Harm and 
 Tom made their way up the trail. The treacherous trail had forced Harm to 
 slow down even more, much to his dislike. He knew Mac was out there 
 somewhere, and all he could think about was getting to her.
 
 "Hold up a second Harm" Tom panted behind him. "I need a quick breather."
 
 "Yeah sure" Harm said as he stopped and leaned up against a nearby tree, 
 taking in deep gulps of the cold air.
 
 "Harm, I hear something" Tom said a second later. Seconds later, Chloe came 
 down the trail.
 
 "Chloe" Harm called and the young girl ran straight to him.
 
 "Harm, thank god" she cried as she threw herself against him. "Mac's hurt 
 and she made me leave her and I'm scared…"
 
 "It's okay sweetie" Harm soothed, forcing himself to stay calm so that Chloe 
 wouldn't panic more. "Just tell me what happened and where Mac is."
 
 "She fell and hit her head" Chloe managed between gasps. "She was out for a 
 long time. And she finally woke up and we tried walking but she hurt her 
 ankle too."
 
 "Okay, we're going to go back and get her and she's going to be fine" Harm 
 said evenly, despite the fear inside him.
 
 He took Chloe's hand and with Tom behind them they hurried as fast as they 
 could back to the spot where Chloe had left Mac. His heart skipped a beat 
 when he saw her lying against the tree and he quickly knelt beside her.
 
 "Mac, honey" he said gently. "Can you hear me?"
 
 "Harm" she murmured, forcing her eyes open at the sweet sound of his voice. 
 She'd drifted off earlier, the cold and the pain making it easy to give into 
 unconsciousness.
 
 "Yeah it's me. I'm here and I'm going to get you back and to the hospital."
 
 "Is Chloe okay?" she managed.
 
 "I'm fine Mac" Chloe said as she knelt down on the other side of Mac.
 
 "That's quite a lump you've got there Marine" Harm said as he gently checked 
 her injury. "You did quite a number on yourself."
 
 "Concussion probably" Tom said as he hovered over them. "We need to get her 
 back ASAP."
 
 "Harm is she going to be okay?" Chloe asked anxiously.
 
 "She's going to be fine once we get her back" Harm assured her. "Okay 
 Marine, up you come" Harm said as he lifted Mac into his arms. He knew there 
 was no way she was going to be able to make it on her own and the fact that 
 she didn't fight him only concerned him more.
 
 "You going to be able to manage with her?" Tom asked and Harm nodded. "I'll 
 radio back to Pete so they have an ambulance waiting for us."
 
 "Thank you" Harm said gratefully.

"Harm you can't carry me all the way down," she murmured, moving within his 
grasp.

"Watch me," he told her, and a glimpse of her ankle more than made up his mind.  
"You're not walking and leaving you up here in this cold is not an option."

"Harm please, you're going to wind up with a bad back or crippled for life or 
something," she begged when another hour had passed.  "We have to be almost 
there.  Put me down.  Now.  Your arms have to be killing you."

"Actually everything is numb," he admitted, and his voice was tinged with pain.

Tom looked around at his words.  "OK let's take ten, and then I'll take her."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," Harm told him.

"You're not asking--it's an order," Tom retorted.  "I'm not going to have to carry the 
two of you out of here.  Besides she's right, it's about two miles left is all."

"Thank God," he breathed, setting her down carefully on a nearby fallen tree, and 
kneeling before her.  "You're going to be OK Marine.  Suck it up and hang in 
there."

"I'll be fine," she nodded, immediately regretting that action for the pain it brought 
to her head.  He pressed her head to him, resting her forehead against his chest, 
rubbing her back firmly, and she closed her eyes, letting him soothe her.

"You love her a lot don't you," Tom smiled.

"I'd die for her," he said softly.  Another five minutes passed and Harm looked 
around, realizing Chloe was no where in sight.  "Chloe where the hell are you?" he 
shouted.

"Harm chill," she yelled.  "I'm taking a leak over here do you mind?"

"Exuuuuse me," he yelled back.

"Never mind I'm done anyway," she shouted back.  "Ready to. . ."  Her words 
were cut off by a sudden high pitched scream of terror.  

"What's wrong with Chloe?" Mac demanded, trying to get up.

"Stay put," Harm ordered.  "Tom watch her."

He sprinted in the direction of Chloe's scream and it did not take him long to see 
the source of her fear.  A large Black bear, with two cubs close behind was 
lumbering toward her.  Chloe stood in the mother bear's path, frozen in fear.  
Hampered by the slick forest floor, Harm was slowed getting to her.  "Chloe run," 
he shouted frantically, "get out of her line of vision."  

Still immobile, Chloe could only turn to Harm, her face contorted with fright.  Harm 
reached her just as the bear did, and as she reared on her hind legs to rid herself 
and her cubs of the intruder, Harm pushed Chloe aside, screaming in pain as the 
bear's claws ripped across his shoulder.  He fell to the ground, trying to curl 
himself into a ball and prepare for another attack.  Dimly he heard both Mac and 
Chloe scream his name, and then the sharp report of a service revolver, once and 
then again.

As Tom hoped, the noise startled the bear, who turned and retreated with her 
cubs, leaving a badly shaken Naval officer bleeding in the snow.

  "Harm" Mac screamed again, trying to push herself to her feet to get to him. 
 She somehow managed to stumble over to where he lay crouched in a ball, Tom 
and Chloe right behind her.
 
 "Harm, oh god" Mac cried when she saw the blood pouring from his shoulder.
 
 "Mac, let me take a look" Tom said as he gently pushed her aside. Chloe came 
 up beside her, tears streaming down her face.
 
 "Is he going to be okay?" Chloe whispered.
 
 Harm forced his eyes open, glancing up at Mac's worried face. "Mac" he 
 murmured, trying at once to sit up.
 
 "Easy Harm" Tom said as he gently pushed Harm back against the ground. "The 
 less moving you do the better you'll be. That bear took a nice chunk out of 
 your shoulder."
 
 "I'm okay" Harm protested. "We need to get Mac back."
 
 "Harm, sit please" Mac pleaded. "I'm fine for the moment. You on the other 
 hand are about to bleed to death right in front of me."
 
 "Mac, do you have first aid kit in your stuff?" Tom asked. "Not that it's 
 going to do much good for this but I need something to stop the bleeding at 
 least."
 
 "Yes, in the large backpack" Mac replied.
 
 He hurried over to where their stuff was and returned seconds later with it, 
 as well as a towel and a bottle of water. Mac hovered over Tom as he tried 
 to clear away the blood, her hand wrapped tightly around Harms.
 
 "Not good" Tom said grimly. "We need more than this first aid kit has."
 
 "I'll be fine until we get back" Harm said unconvincingly.
 
 "Harm it's another two miles" Tom reminded him. "And there's no way you're 
 going to make it two miles bleeding like that. Not to mention the activity 
 is just going to make it bleed more."
 
 "I can try" Harm said as he forced himself to a sitting position, only to 
 have the world spin around him dizzily.
 
 "Sit" Mac ordered, giving him a push back down.
 
 "Okay, here's what's going to happen" Tom said as he reached for his radio, 
 only to frown as he looked at it. "Great, the radio's not working. I was 
 going to have Pete send someone up to meet us but that's not going to 
 happen."
 
 "Take Mac and Chloe back and then come back for me"
 
 "Harmon Rabb you are crazy if you think I'm leaving you up here" Mac 
 screeched, ignoring her own dizziness, the pounding in her having returned 
 with a vengeance.  "I'll stay with you until Tom gets help."
 
 "No" Harm said firmly. "Mac, you need to get to the hospital. You have a 
 concussion and you need to get out of this cold."
 
 "Mac, he's right" Tom spoke up. "And once I get you and Chloe back down, it 
 won't take long for me and the others to get back to Harm."
 
 "No" she started before her face took on a blank look and she started to 
 slump towards Harm. Tom managed to grab her before she did, gently laying 
 her beside Harm.
 
 "Tom, get her back and to the hospital" Harm ordered. "Now. Before she gets 
 any worse"
 
 "I hear yah" Tom sighed. "I'm not thrilled about leaving you here either but 
 that two miles of walking isn't what you need right now. I've done what I 
 could and as long as you're not moving that should be okay until I get back 
 with help. Chloe, you think you can manage with the stuff?"
 
 "Yes sir" she said quietly.
 
 "Chloe, Mac's going to be okay" Harm said gently, sensing she needed some 
 reassurance. "Once she gets to the hospital she'll be fine. I promise."
 
 "What about you?" Chloe asked. She knew how much Mac loved Harm and she 
 didn't want anything to happen to him.
 
 "Chloe, I'll be fine too" Harm said with a forced smile. "Go."
 
 She nodded and reached for one of the sleeping bags, gently unrolling it 
 again and placing it over Harm.
 
 "Thanks Chloe."
 
 "Your welcome" she said quietly. "You better be okay when Mac wakes up. She 
 loves you a lot you know."
 
 "And I love her just as much" Harm said softly.
 
 "Chloe come on" Tom said as he lifted Mac into his arms. "We need to get 
 going."

"No I'm not going," the young girl screeched suddenly, looking from Tom down to 
Harm.  "Marines don't leave their own behind, and if they have to, they stay with 
them.  I'm not going.  I'm going to stay here with Harm."

"Chloe no, you need to go down and get warm," Harm objected at once.  "I'll be 
fine.  You go."

"Chloe really you need to come," Tom added his voice.  "Come down and get 
warm and dry.  You can stay with Mac and I'll make sure my guys get up here 
right away for Harm."

"I'm not going," she repeated, dropping down beside Harm.  "He saved my life.  
The least I can do is stay here with him."

"Chloe no," Harm yelped.  "Mac do something."

"I don't think so," Mac sighed, her eyes meeting Chloe's and she nodded to her.  
"All the way Marine.  Take care of  him."

"Yes ma'am," Chloe nodded, adjusting the sleeping bag over him.

"Tom get her help please," Harm begged.  "Sarah I love you."

"I love you Harm.  You'll be seeing me soon."

He nodded, closing his eyes against the pain and feeling Chloe press her lithe 
body against him to share warmth.  The storm swallowed Mac and Tom up almost 
at once and Harm weakly put his arm around Chloe.  "You should have gone," he 
whispered.

"No I shouldn't."  She shook her head firmly.  "I did the right thing."
====================
St. Mark's Hospital
Montpelier, VT
3 Hours later

"Ranger, you came in with Ms. Mackenzie?"  The young doctor looked up from his 
clipboard and yawned.  It had been a long night with storm related injuries.

"Yes sir," Tom nodded. "How is she?"

"She's actually doing very well.  I'm Dr. Caster.  She's asking for a Harm--her 
fiance she says."

"Yeah he is.  We had to leave him behind," Tom said.  "A bear ripped his shoulder 
open. My people picked him up about an hour ago and brought him here by 
chopper.  But they took him right in and I haven't been able to get any 
information."

"And who would Chloe be?"

Tom smiled at the memory of the girl's courage.  "She's a future Marine who 
stayed with Harm.  She's downstairs waiting for word on him.  How exactly is Mac-
-Ms. Mackenzie?"

"She's got a badly sprained ankle that she won't be walking on any time soon.  
And a minor concussion that I want her to stay in bed for the next twenty-four 
hours just in case.  Maybe a touch of hypothermia that's not going to be a 
problem."

"Thanks.  That's good to know."

"Friends of yours?"

"Well as of this afternoon," Tom smiled.  "Just people I'm helping--part of my job."

The elevator doors opened at that moment and Chloe barreled out, running at 
once to Tom who caught her in a quick hug.  "How's Harm?  Would they tell you?"

"He's sleeping after they fixed his shoulder," she reported, sniffling slightly.  "And I 
called my grandmother and told her we were OK but not to come because the 
roads are so bad.  Can I see Mac please."

"This would be Chloe," Tom explained to the doctor.

"I figured," he smiled.  "Of course you can.  She's a little drowsy because we gave 
her something for pain and to relax her.  And you look exhausted.  Why don't you 
curl up on the chair there and I'll have the nurse bring you a pillow and blanket."

"She's going to want to see Harm," Chloe objected. 

"Not tonight--well she's not going anywhere, and if his shoulder was repaired, 
neither is he," Dr. Caster told her.  "Why don't you go on in, and I'll call down to 
surgery and get an exact report on his condition."

Chloe looked to Tom who nodded encouragingly.  "Chloe you were very brave out 
there.  And I've got to get back since everything is under control here.  I'll check 
with you in the morning."

"Thanks," Chloe smiled and gave him a quick hug before hurrying into Mac's 
room.

"Mac?" she whispered, touching her shoulder to let her know she was there since 
her head was turned to the wall.  "Mac it's Chloe."

 "Hi Sweetie" Mac murmured as she rolled over to face Chloe. "You okay?"
 
 "I'm fine" Chloe assured her. "I was more worried about you and Harm."
 
 "Harm, is he okay?" Mac demanded as she tried to sit up before Chloe gave 
 her a gentle push back against the pillows.
 
 "He's okay I promise" Chloe said gently. "I just came from there and they 
 fixed up his shoulder and he's sleeping now."
 
 "I need to see him" Mac pouted.
 
 "I told the Doctor that" Chloe sighed. "But he wouldn't listen to me."
 
 "No he wouldn't" Doctor Caster said as he walked in. "Ms. Mackenzie, I just 
 spoke to the doctor that fixed up your fiance. Mr. Rabb is resting 
 comfortably and he's going to be just fine."
 
 "I want to see him" Mac demanded. "Please. I'll rest when I see him. But not 
 until I do."
 
 "Told you so" Chloe smiled.
 
 "All right" Doctor Caster sighed. "I'll see what I can do."
 
 Minutes later Chloe helped Mac into the wheelchair, tucking a blanket around 
 her. A short time later she wheeled Mac into Harm's room, rolling her right 
 up to the bed.
 
 "You want me to leave?" Chloe asked as Mac reached for Harm's hand.
 
 Before she could reply, Harm stirred, turning his head and opening his eyes 
 to look up at the pair.
 
 "Hey, my two favorite ladies" he murmured.  "Is she supposed to be out of 
 bed?"
 
 "No" Chloe spoke up before Mac could. "But she wasn't going to rest until 
 she saw you."
 
 "You had me worried sailor" Mac whispered as she squeezed his hand. "I 
 didn't like leaving you like that. And I needed to make sure you were really 
 okay."
 
 "I was in good hands" Harm smiled lightly as Chloe. "You're going to make a 
 good Marine one day."
 
 "I hope so" Chloe smiled. "I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit."
 
 "Thanks Chloe" Harm said softly as the young girl started for the door.
 
 "No, thank you" Chloe said as she turned around to face them. "If you hadn't 
 come up to find us I might have lost my big sister. And if you hadn't put 
 yourself in front of the bear.." She choked back a sob, a few tears sliding 
 down her face.
 
 "Come here little Marine" Harm ordered and Chloe slowly walked back to the 
 bed.
 
 "You did that without even thinking" Chloe whispered.  "And I was such a 
 jerk to you earlier."
 
 "I forgive you for that" Harm teased. "And I was thinking. I was thinking 
 how upset Mac would be if anything happened to you. And I'd do anything for 
 Mac."
 
 "You love her a lot don't you?" Chloe sniffled.
 
 "Yes Chloe, I do" Harm assured her, his glance going to Mac. "More than 
 anything else in this world. I would die to keep her from being hurt."
 
 "As would I" Mac whispered as she squeezed Harm's hand. "Chloe, would you 
 help me up on the bed."
 
 "Sure" Chloe smiled. Seconds later she helped Mac from the wheelchair and up 
 onto Harm's bed. Mac settled against him, careful of his injured soldier.
 
 "Much better" Mac sighed as Harm dropped a kiss on her forehead.
 
 "I think I'd better leave" Chloe grinned.
 
 "I want you to get some rest young lady" Mac ordered. "There's a nice chair 
 right there you can sleep in and a blanket to keep warm with. Now sit."
 
 "Yes ma'am" Chloe sighed as she dropped into the chair, snuggling up under 
 the blanket. "But don't say I didn't give you two a chance to be alone."
 
 "You really okay?" Harm whispered as he looked over at Mac. "You had me 
 pretty scared too Marine."
 
 "Well I'll be hobbling around for a bit. But I'm fine. The doctor said it 
 was a minor concussion."
 
 "We'll make quite a pair" Harm smiled. "You and your ankle and me and my 
 shoulder."
 
 "Harm, you could have been killed by that bear" Mac whispered a few minutes 
 later when she realized Chloe had dropped off to sleep.
 
 "But I wasn't" Harm said softly. "And if I had to do it again I would do the 
 same thing."

"Harm, think what you're saying here," she said softly.  "Now remember back to 
Leavenworth and Palmer.  I would have done anything in my power to save you--
to keep them from hurting you.  Even that--even what Palmer wanted.  I would 
have done it gladly.  Because it would have been over in a few minutes and if it 
would have insured our life together then it would have been a small price to pay."

"I think I'm understanding," Harm said softly, shuddering once again at the 
memory of knowing Palmer had her.

"No you're not," she admonished him gently.  "I mean you understand the feeling 
of sacrifice.  You very nearly sacrificed yourself today for Chloe."

"For you too," he spoke up.  "Because I know you would have been devastated to 
lose her; but honestly Mac, I didn't think about any of that.  I saw her in danger, 
and I saw I could help her and I just did it."  

"Maybe in the same way you earned your DFC's," she pointed out.  "But getting 
back to Palmer.  Harm, you're so able to understand everything except the most 
basic.  He did nothing to me except touch. I promise you that.  I promise he was 
not able to do any more."

"But you would have let him," Harm told her, his voice ragged.

"I would have.   Like you would have let the bear," she said gently.  "And if he had 
done more, I would have told you straight out."  She reached for his hands, 
squeezing hard.  "Harm I would have told you.  We have nothing between us if we 
don't have honesty and trust.  If I had done what Palmer wanted to keep you from 
being more hurt I would have been honest and told you."

"I want to believe you," he said, his voice trembling.  "Honestly I do."

"Then do so," she said firmly, reaching out to take his face between gentle palms.  
"It was over before it even began.  Uncle Matt stopped him.  Let it go Harm.  I love 
you.  Let it be part of the past."

He nodded slowly and let out a huge long breath, as if he was in fact letting it go.  
"Yeah I can do that.  Right now I'm just so glad you're OK."

She nodded and hugged him close to her.  "Me too about you.  When I saw you 
bleeding there I thought this time I really could lose you for good."

"No chance," he whispered, feeling his eyes growing heavy.  "I love you Sarah."

"And I love you," she responded.  "Sleep Sailor."
===================
THANKSGIVING DAY
4PM

"For this food and this family, make us truly grateful," Harm intoned.  A chorus of 
amen went around the table and he let go of Martha's hand on one side though 
the kept Mac's encompassed in his just a little longer.

Kyle Anderson had arrived early that morning from his latest long haul run, and 
Harm and Mac were released from the hospital.   The table groaned under twenty 
pounds of turkey and assorted side dishes and Harm and Mac sighed in unison.  
"Martha this looks wonderful," he told her sincerely.

"Chloe helped a lot."

"She wouldn't let me help at all," Mac sighed.  

"Smart woman.  You don't belong on your feet," Harm reminded her.  They didn't 
let you go so you could come home and have to be hauled right back."

"Yeah well I wasn't bleeding to death either," she retorted.

"Not at the table," Martha admonished them laughing.  

Dinner passed and football continued, and Harm  was soon dozing on the sofa in 
the front room, feeling warm and comfortable, Mac's slight form leaning against 
him.  Finally she leaned over and kissed his cheek, and with the aid of her crutch, 
walked outside onto the porch, taking in gulps of the cold fresh air.  

"You OK out here?" Chloe asked timidly from the doorway after leaving her for a 
few minutes.  "It's cold.  You want your coat?"

"I'm coming right in," she assured her 'sister'.  "Just wanted a little air.  And a little 
private time with the Man Upstairs I think."

Chloe nodded and started back inside.  

"Chloe wait," Mac called.  "Thank you.  Thank you for staying with Harm.  You're 
going to make a Marine someday girl."

"I know," she smiled and walked over to where Mac was leaning against the 
railing.  "If something had happened to one of you because of me, I wouldn't have 
been able to stand it.  I know you guys came up here because I've been such a 
brat since the wedding.  But I understand it now.  Really I do.  You love Harm--
heart and soul.  It would have been wrong for you to marry Mic.  Wrong for you 
and for him."

"Yeah," Mac nodded quietly.  "Very wrong.  But it took Harm nearly dying to bring 
that point home to both Mic and me."

"And to make you see how much you love Harm?"

"That too," Mac smiled and rested her hand on Chloe's smooth hair.  "Honey it's 
not easy to be thirteen.  Lord knows I know that as well as anyone, but don't make 
it harder than it has to be.  Your dad and your grandmother care so much for you.  
Harm and I love you.  You have a great home here, and a lot of friends."

"I know," the young girl side.  "Me and God had a talk about that in the hospital.  
I'm going to try a lot harder."

"Good, I'm glad.  And you can talk to me any time," Mac reminded her. "In fact if 
you don't want to do it by phone, you can call me and I'll send you a ticket for any 
weekend to come stay with us."

"OK, I can do that," Chloe smiled.  "And I'm freezing and want another piece of 
pie.  You should come in too."

"Two minutes," Mac promised, taking another long breath of air.

When Chloe closed the door, it woke Harm who immediately realized Mac was not 
with him.  "Hey where's. . ." he began, trying to come fully alert.

"Relax Flyboy," Chloe grinned in perfect imitation of Mac.  "She's just on the porch 
getting some air.  I told her it was cold but she said she wasn't ready to come in 
yet."

"Yeah we'll see about that," he growled, grabbing the afghan from the back of the 
sofa and striding out the door.

"You're going to turn into an ice pop out here," he scolded, pressing the afghan 
around her shoulders.  "You OK?"

"Just doing some serious thinking," she answered.  "Yeah I'm fine.  But just 
thinking about you and me and the baby. . .the baby I want.  When God thinks 
we're ready."

 "Amen" Harm said softly as he sat down next to her.
 
 "Is that really what you want?"
 
 "Of course it is" he assured her. "It's what I've wanted for a long time."
 
 "Me too"
 
 "You'll be a great mom. You're so good with Chloe."
 
 "She's a good kid" Mac smiled. "I'm just glad we got everything straightened 
 out with her. I didn't want her to be a stranger to us."
 
 "Not a chance of that happening" Harm smiled. "She can come and visit as 
 often as you want her to."
 
 "Good" Mac sighed as she leaned her head against his good shoulder.
 
 
 Sunday November 25th
 
 "Do you really have to go?" Chloe said sadly as the last call for Harm and 
 Mac's flight was made.  "I'm going to miss you."
 
 "Sweetie, you know we do" Mac said as she gave Chloe a hug. "And we're going 
 to miss you too."
 
 "And remember all you have to do is call and tell us you want to come" Harm 
 spoke up.
 
 "I know" Chloe sighed. "I just liked having you two around."
 
 "Maybe we can arrange something during your winter break" Mac offered.
 "I'm not promising anything cause you know we never know what our schedule 
 will be but if we can, we'll work something out."
 
 Chloe brightened at the thought and she gave Mac one last hug.
 
 "I love you" Chloe said as she hugged Mac.
 
 "Love you too sweetie" Mac said as she finally let go. "You be good."
 
 "I will" Chloe promised as she turned to Harm. "Bye Harm. Take good care of 
 my big sister."
 
 "Always" Harm said as he hugged her. "And as soon as we get those wedding 
 plans worked out, you'll be the first to know."
 
 "I better be" Chloe grinned as she let go of him.
 
 Minutes later they boarded the plane, turning and giving Chloe one last wave 
 goodbye before Harm helped Mac to their seats.
 
 "Have I told you lately how much I love you" Mac sighed happily as she 
 snuggled against Harm's good shoulder.
 
 "Yeah but you can keep telling me" Harm smiled. "And I love you too. And I 
 want us to seriously think about those wedding plans."
 
 "Harm, we haven't even told the Admiral about us" Mac said as she raised her 
 head from his shoulder. "We can't just walk in and tell him we're getting 
 married.
 
 "Uh, he already knows" Harm said sheepishly. "I kind of let the cat out of 
 the bag while you were gone."
 
 "What did he say?" Mac demanded.
 
 "That when we got back we'd sit down and talk about it. And he wasn't 
 surprised either."
 
 "He's really okay with it?"
 
 "Yep. And so there's no reason we can't move forward with wedding plans."
 
 "You're serious?" Mac asked softly.
 
 "Never been more" Harm smiled. "I love you Sarah Mackenzie. And I want very 
 much to make you my wife."
 
 "Love you too" she whispered before their lips met in a long kiss.
 
 
 The End.  

Watch for Starting Again IX—Christmas Spirits.