TITLE:  "Starting Again III-Forever and Always"
AUTHORS:  Anne R. [amrsecret@yahoo.com]
                    Pat Steiner [ssbpmn@aol.com]
SUMMARY:  The third in the Starting Again series of post-Adrift stories, 
leading up to our take on the actual events of Adrift, which will be covered in Chapter IV.  
Rated PG for mild violence and language. A Harm-Mac shipper story.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to Paramount, CBS, et al.  No copyright is intended 
with this work of entertainment only.
FEEDBACK:  Please, if you would like to express your enjoyment.  If our work 
does not appeal to you for any reason-we have no problem with that, but 
please, no need to share that with us.


“Starting Again III-Forever and Always”


BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL
Office of Capt. Harrison Taylor, psychologist

"Harm will you sit down," Mac frowned, watching him pace back and forth.  "You're 
talking to nice Captain Taylor, not about to face a court of inquiry.

"Sorry, just restless here.  I'm not used to bearing my soul."

"Well that's what it would be if you'd cooperate," she chided him gently.  I mean let's face 
it Harm, you're not exactly pouring out your heart in there.  At least you didn't the first 
time."

Harm gave a long sigh and came to sit next to her, immediately reaching for her hand.  
"Well I'm only doing this because I was ordered to," he moaned.  "So if my heart isn't in 
it...well it's not that hard to understand.  What I really want is to talk to you."

"You know you can any time you want," she reminded him.  "But then, I'm pretty 
personally involved aren't I.  Too close."

It was just that thought that Capt. Taylor imparted twenty minutes later, urging Harm to 
speak to him.  Harm had talked about what happened on the Henry as if he was reciting 
the duty log, leaving out anything personal or involving his own reactions, except to admit 
that he had been terrified at the thought of Mac coming to the ship.  "I almost lost her Sir," 
he whispered.  "If that line hadn't been there, she would have drowned, drowned the 
same death I would have.  She would have met my fate."

"Harm don't make so much out of it...," Mac started and Taylor held up his hand.

"No go on Harm.  Talking about what this woman means to you is fine.  Any time you're 
in touch with what you're feeling."

A slow smile of astonishment came across his face, astonishment that the doctor would 
invite him to express his feelings for Mac, feelings he did not feel capable of disclosing to 
himself, let alone a stranger.

"Doctor, sir, I...I don't think that's going to happen...I mean I don't...well not that I don't 
have...," he stammered and looked to Mac helplessly.

"I don't think he's quite there yet," Mac smiled and squeezed his hand to let him know it 
was not a problem."

Taylor nodded and consulted his notes.  "And what about your homework?"

"Sir?"

"You were to try to determine why you were so hell-bent on getting back for this wedding 
Commander, remember the assignment?"

"Yes sir, but I didn't get any insight.  I think I was being to grateful I didn't lose her to that 
sonofabitch sir." 

Captain Taylor looked at him closely and then turned his gaze on Mac.  "Colonel?  How 
about you?"

"No sir," she confessed.  "I mean I didn't give it a lot of conscious thought, but nothing 
really came to me.  But then like Harm said, we were pretty busy handling everything."

"Harm?  It's pretty important I think."  Taylor returned his stare to him.

"Sir I think you're making more of it than there is," he tried, squirming uncomfortably and 
squeezing Mac's hands.  "I promised.  That in itself would make me want to come.  She's 
a special person and I made a promise to her."

Her hand convulsed in his but she remained quiet.

"She would have understood with the weather and it being dangerous," Taylor prompted.

"I didn't think it was.  Not enough to make me renege," Harm countered.  "I had to be 
there.  I had to tell her...I had to let her know that....I wanted her to..."  He stopped and 
swallowed hard, looking to her again.

"It's OK," she spoke up.  "Harm I understand.  You promised and that's enough for me.  I 
made you.  I acted like a spoiled five year old."  She turned to the doctor and smiled 
softly.  "Sir, I wanted him there.  What else can I say.  I needed him there."

"To make it work?"

She drew her breath in sharply at that.  Harm's question.  And one to which she did not 
have an answer.


 
 "Colonel?"
 
 "I don't know" Mac said finally. "I…"
 
 "Mac, you don't have to answer that" Harm interrupted. "You're just here as 
 my support not to be grilled."
 
 "Commander, I'm not grilling her. I'm just trying to understand why it was 
 so important to both of you that you were there. You're saying it was 
 because you promised her you'd be there. I'm just trying to find out why she 
 needed you there."
 
 "Harm it's okay. Captain Taylor, I don't have any answers for you on that 
 one. And I have thought about it. I thought long and hard about it while I 
 waited for word on Harm, not knowing whether he was alive or dead. I thought 
 about when I sat beside him in the ICU, praying he was going to be okay.  
 Knowing that it was my fault that he was laying there fighting for his 
 life." The tears started to roll down her face as she finished talking and 
 Harm gave Captain Taylor a long glare before gently wiping Mac's tears away 
 with his thumb.
 
 "It wasn't your fault" Harm said gently as he reached for her and pulled her 
 into his arms. "You didn't make me fly that night. And you sure as hell had 
 nothing to do with all that went wrong with the plane."
 
 Captain Taylor studied the two people in front of him carefully. That they 
 would go to any lengths to protect each other was obvious. That they had 
 very deep feelings for each other was also obvious.
 
 "Okay, I think we're done for tonight" Captain Taylor said finally.
 
 "Good" Harm said with another long glare as he released Mac.  "I think we've 
 both had enough considering what we've just been through."
 
 "Actually I agree, Harm" Captain Taylor smiled. "And I'm going to make a 
 suggestion that maybe you take some time away from everything. It's hard 
 enough for you to deal with everything without having to deal with your 
 cases as well. I know you felt that physically you were ready for duty again 
 but…"
 
 "But you don't think I can handle it emotionally" Harm said defensively.
 
 "Only because of what you do" Captain Taylor countered. "If you were sitting 
 at a desk job I'd say there would be no problem. But you're dealing with 
 murderers and people trying to hurt you and your partner. That takes quite 
 an emotional toll on you. And because of what you've already been through, 
 you're not up to dealing with it."
 
 "You're not going to recommend that I be on desk duty are you?" Harm 
 demanded.
 
 "Harm, he didn't say that" Mac said as she reached for his hand.
 
 "No I didn't" Captain Taylor continued. "What I am suggesting is you take a 
 few days away. Away from work, and the pressures of your cases. A little 
 time to recoup from what happened aboard the Henry. Maybe just a long 
 weekend somewhere."
 
 "It might not be a bad idea Harm" Mac said finally. "You were pretty worn 
 out after what happened."
 
 "Will you come with me?" Harm asked. "I really don’t want to be alone"
 
 "I was going to say it would be a good idea for Mac to go with you" Captain 
 Taylor smiled. "Maybe you two can talk about why it was so important for 
 Harm to be there."
 
 "Sure" Mac smiled as she stood up.  "Thank you Captain."
 
 "I'll see you both again next week" Captain Taylor reminded them as they 
 walked to the door.
 
 "I'm really sorry about that," Harm said once they were in the car.
 
 "Harm, it's okay" Mac assured him. "He's just trying to get an idea of what 
 we were both thinking that night."
 
 "Yeah, well he didn't have to be so hard on you. You're not the one who's 
 supposed to be under the microscope."
 
 "No, but I'm a very big part of what happened" Mac said quietly. "And I want 
 to help you get through this. I hate seeing you like this."
 
 "I hate being like this" Harm sighed.
 
 "So what do you think about his suggestion that we take a few days away?" 
 Mac asked.
 
 "Can we go somewhere without water?" Harm said with a forced smile. "I think 
 I saw enough of the ocean the last few days."
 
 "I think we can find somewhere without water" Mac smiled. "And I'm sure 
 after what happened on the Henry the Admiral won't question us taking an 
 extra day off."
 
 "Yeah I hope not" Harm sighed. "My biggest fear is that Captain Taylor is 
 going to recommend me for that padded cell. If he'd seen me on the Henry I'm 
 sure he would have."
 
 "No he wouldn't have" Mac countered. "Harm you're having a hard time dealing 
 with things. But that doesn't mean you need a padded cell. And what happened 
 on the Henry would have unnerved anyone."
 
 "You and Skates did a better job of handling it than I did" Harm pointed 
 out.
 
 "Skates is pretty gutsy" Mac smiled. "She was good to have around."
 
 "Yeah she was" Harm agreed. "You know she hasn't gone back up yet either."
 
 "Is she going to?"
 
 "She says she is" Harm said quietly. "But she didn't sound totally confident 
 about it."
 
 "Do I detect a little bit of guilt there sailor?" Mac prodded.
 
 "Maybe" Harm sighed. "But can I request a break on talking about all this. 
 At least over dinner."
 
 "Yes we can take a break," Mac said as she pulled into the restaurant they'd 
 decided on earlier. "I know this isn't easy for you." She put the car into 
 park and turned to Harm. "I'm not here to make you talk. Just remember that. 
 I'm here if you want to talk but I'm not going to make you talk if you don't 
 want to."
 
 "Thank you" Harm whispered as he looked over at her. "I really don't know 
 how I'm ever going to repay you for all this."
 
 "As I told you before, still having you in my life is the only repayment I 
 need" Mac said softly.

"Well that night I was saying goodbye to you," he sighed with a rueful smile.  

"I'm just keeping my promise anyway," she reminded him.  "Harm I took very seriously 
what God and I agreed to that night."

"Thank you," he whispered, covering her hand with his.  "Now where are we going on this 
assignment?  It should be someplace close so we don't spend all day driving."

"Gatlinburg," she said quickly.

He looked at her blankly.  "Give me a clue here."

"Tennessee, Great Smoky Mountains, Dollywood, stop me when this is getting familiar."

"OK...sort of.  And you know of this because?"

"Weekend with Dalton and another couple from the firm," she smiled sheepishly and then 
added with a short laugh, "and I had a miserable time."

"Well I doubt that, but it works for me.  Away from the ocean."

"Far away.  Now food," she grinned.
=====================
"Think I could lump on the sofa?" he sighed when they pulled up to her place.  "My 
intention really was to go home, but the more I think of that the less attractive that 
becomes.  Just throw me out at 0600 so I can go home and dress for work."

"I told you before you were welcome any time," she reminded him.  "And I told you I got 
pretty used to looking out and seeing my lump there."

"Your lump is going to live to be two hundred to repay you," he sighed.

"Harm stop that really now," she said firmly.  "It's part of the deal I made with God.  I'm 
fine with it.  If I'm ever not, you'll be the first to know.  Now let's go find us a place we can 
call home for a long weekend.  I know the Admiral won't mind.  Besides it's a doctor's 
order."
======================
"Any luck?"  Mac came out of the shower, still toweling her hair, her pink terry robe tied 
tightly around her.

"I need Bud," he wailed, getting up from the computer and offering her the chair.  

"You're not doing bad.  Let's try the Tourist center," she suggested as she sat down.  He 
leaned over the chair to see the screen.  Not a good idea.  First there was the scent of 
her shampoo, so Sarah Mackenzie, and then the robe gapped just enough to enable him 
to see the soft curve of...

"Harm, Harm are you OK.  Hey Flyboy what's the matter?"

"Not a thing," he smiled.  "Uh...just getting a crick in my back or something from leaning 
over.  Now what were you saying?"

"There.  Look," she frowned in her concern.  "Sleepy Hollow Cabins.  It says it was 
named after the village of Sleepy Hollow because it has its own ghost.  Anyway, they're 
just little places, one large room in fact....OK that brings up sleeping arrangements, but 
there's a sofa bed so I think we're OK."

"I think we're fine," he grinned happily. "And I think being away for three days with 
nothing to do but take long walks and eat and sleep is going to be great."  He pulled out 
his government American Express card with a quick laugh.  "Here, it's on Uncle Sam."

"I don't think so Squid.  I'm not going to answer for that.  Try again."

Sheepishly he handed her his VISA.  

"OK we're all set," she said after a minute.  "Cabin eight.  The Honeymooner's special."

"You're kidding of course."

"Of course," she smiled.  "And I'm also tired.  Good night partner."

"Yeah good night."  

She went to step around him and he caught her arm.  She gave him a questioning look 
and he smiled softly.  "Good night," he repeated and this time put a soft kiss on her 
forehead.  "That's for thanks."

"And this is for you're welcome," she returned, kissing his cheek.

He watched her walk into the bedroom, the door closing with a soft click, and for a long 
time both lie awake, deep in thought.
================
It was the sound of the shower and the ringing phone in combination that awoke him the 
next morning.  Still foggy from sleep, he reached for the phone, saying automatically, 
"Commander Rabb."

"Good morning Commander," AJ boomed and Harm leaped to his feet.  "Colonel 
Mackenzie please."

"Sir uh good morning.  Mac...uh Colonel Mackenzie...she's in the shower sir.  I mean sir 
she's...." he stammered.

"Rabb for godsake stop acting like you and her have just been caught necking on the 
sofa."

Harm took a deep breath. "Yes sir, is there something I can help you with?"

"Admiral Rafferty called me first thing this morning and now I'm passing the word along.  
Please tell the Colonel that her court date has been moved to 0900 and therefore I won't 
expect her this morning.  You however I will see for staff call.  And hopefully in uniform, 
which I'm assuming you're not wearing at the moment."

"Yes sir, uh...no sir I'm...I'll be there sir."

He hung up just as Mac emerged.  "How many showers do you take?" he demanded.

"I woke up all sticky," she smiled.  "I take it that was for me."

"Yeah.  And I've given our C.O. a lovely picture of me making myself at home in your 
apartment," he sighed.  "Anyway you have court at 0900.  Must be Plan B."

"You're kidding," she yelped.  "I was going to be doing good to be ready by 1300.  Well at 
least I have time to look at notes now.  What about you?"

"Staff call of course," he sighed.  "When you get in we can tell him we're needing Friday 
off."

"Then I'll see you for lunch," she smiled as she booted the computer and realized he had 
not made any move to dress.  "Harm you're going to need to move your six if you're going 
to make it."

"Going, but reluctantly," he sighed.  

"OK Mister, let's have it.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said after a minute.  "Just feeling a little odd leaving you here, and you 
being gone this morning and I'm out of here before you call Capt. Taylor and tell him I'm 
needing to be locked up."

He dressed quickly while she began to work, and when he was ready to leave she got up 
to walk him to the door.  "Drive safe, and I'll see you for lunch."

"You too.  Please Mac.  Please be careful and don't..." 

She put a gentle finger to his lips.  "Harm I'm fine. You're going to be fine.  And lunch is 
on me.  Now go to work.  So far the Admiral is on our side, let's keep it that way."
 



 
 "Good idea" he sighed. "Sorry, I'm being such a pain in the six again."
 
 "You are not a pain in the six" Mac smiled. "But if you don't get to work 
 you're going to get your six in big trouble with the Admiral.  Move it 
 sailor."
 
 "All right, I'm gone" he said as he turned and headed to the door. "Lunch 
 right?"
 
 "I'll be there" she assured him. "Go."
 
 With a little help from above Harm managed to make it to work on time, 
 getting there just before staff call.
 
 "Commander, do you have a minute?" AJ asked as he walked into Harm's office 
 a short time later, closing the door before sitting down in front of Harm's 
 desk.
 
 "Of course sir" Harm said quickly.  "If this is about earlier this morning…"
 
 "That's part of it" AJ replied. "I was a little surprised when you answered 
 Mac's phone this morning. I knew you had been staying with her after you 
 were released from the hospital but I was under the impression that you were 
 back at your place."
 
 "Most of the time I am sir" Harm replied as he avoided his CO's gaze.
 
 "And last night?" AJ prodded.
 
 "Last night was my session with Captain Taylor and of course Mac has been 
 going with me and so afterwards we usually talk about everything." He didn't 
 go any further and say that he'd asked to stay with Mac cause he didn't want 
 to be alone. The report he and Mac had turned in regarding the incident on 
 the Henry had once again left out any mention of Harm's difficulties with 
 being near the water and his recurrent nightmares of the crash.
 
 "How are the sessions going?"
 
 "Fine sir."
 
 AJ just nodded as he studied his officer carefully, wondering if in fact he 
 was getting the whole story.
 
 "Commander is there something going on that I should know about?" AJ 
 inquired.
 
 "Uh, I'm not sure I know what you mean sir" Harm stammered. He wasn't sure 
 what the Admiral was talking about it and he could only guess that he meant 
 what was going on with him. Had Captain Taylor called him and told him what 
 was going on?
 
 AJ watched Harm squirm for a few seconds before deciding to end his misery.
 
 "I mean you and Mac" AJ said finally. "Are you two getting involved?"
 
 Harm hoped that the look of relief wasn't apparent on his face as he 
 realized that the Admiral was thinking that his staying at Mac's place was 
 for romantic reasons. Course this was another subject he wasn't ready to 
 discuss with the Admiral either. His feelings for Mac were something he 
 hadn't allowed himself to think about too much. He had feelings, he just 
 wasn’t ready to put into words what those feelings were.
 
 "Uh, we have been getting closer," Harm said vaguely.  "She's been a good 
 friend and she's been there for me through all this."
 
 "She was with you from the moment she found out you were down" AJ replied 
 quietly. "And she never once gave up on you."
 
 "Yes sir, so I've heard" Harm said with a small smile.
 
 Seeing he wasn't going to get anything else out of his officer AJ finally 
 stood up. "All right Commander. What you and the Colonel do in your free 
 time is none of my concern unless it starts to affect this office."
 
 "Yes sir"
 
 Harm let out a sigh of relief when AJ finally walked out of his office. He 
 knew it wasn't going to be easy to keep things from the Admiral. If he 
 wanted to stay in the field and not chained to some desk, he was going to 
 have to get through this.
 
 The rest of morning passed quietly, Harm so absorbed in his work that he 
 didn't realize it was past noon until his stomach started to grumble. It was 
 then that he looked at the clock, surprised to see it was almost 12:30. And 
 Mac wasn't back. She'd promised she'd be back for lunch.
 
 "Calm Rabb" he told himself sharply. "You lose it now and the Admiral is 
 going to know something is wrong."
 
 He stayed in his office, trying to keep calm as he waited for Mac to appear. 
 Finally, just before 13:00 she strode across the bullpen to his office.
 
 "Sorry I'm late…" she started, stopping as he leapt from his desk quickly 
 closing the door before taking her into his arms.
 
 "Thank god you're okay" he murmured as he held her tightly. "I was so 
 worried something had happened to you and after the Admiral's visit this 
 morning I was afraid if I went out and asked Tiner about you."
 
 "Hey, hold up, the Admiral came and talked to you?" Mac questioned as she 
 stepped back from his arms.
 
 "Yeah" Harm sighed. "At first I thought he was on to the fact that I'm one 
 step away from that padded cell. But instead he thinks…" He stopped and Mac 
 smiled, knowing what the Admiral was probably thinking.
 
 "He thinks we're getting involved, doesn't he?" she asked and Harm nodded. 
 "What did you tell him?"
 
 "I, uh, well, I just said you've been a really good friend through all this" 
 Harm said as he avoided eye contact with her.  "He said he doesn't care as 
 long as it doesn't affect work. Meaning as long as I show up for staff call 
 each morning he doesn't care where I sleep."
 
 "You didn't happen to mention our weekend away did you?"
 
 "No, I was waiting for you" Harm admitted sheepishly. "Sorry, I know I 
 should have been able to handle that myself."
 
 "No, we're both going so we should both ask him" Mac replied. "It's okay 
 sailor. Let's grab some lunch and then we'll let him know about needing 
 Friday off." She started towards the door when Harm suddenly reached for 
 her, gently turning her back around to face him.
 
 "Mac, you've been more than just a friend through this" Harm said softly. 
 "Please don't think I'm minimizing how I feel about you. I just have a hard 
 time putting into words how I feel sometimes."
 
 "No, really?" Mac teased gently.  "It's okay Harm. I know expressing how you 
 feel isn't easy. And I understand. Your actions tell me how you feel. Like 
 just know when I walked in. You were worried about me, weren't you?"
 
 "Scared to death is more like it" Harm sighed.
 
 "See, I do know how you feel" Mac said softly. "Come on sailor, we'll talk 
 more over lunch. But this Marine is starving."
 
 "So is this sailor" Harm smiled. "Skipped breakfast to get here on time."
 
 "Let's move it then. And then we'll talk about how we're going to tell the 
 Admiral what we're doing this weekend."
 
 Neither noticed AJ's watchful eye as they strode across the bullpen towards 
 the elevator. "Friends" AJ muttered to himself. "Yeah right."
 
 "Sir, did you say something?" Tiner asked.
 
 "Nothing Tiner" AJ smiled. "Nothing at all."
========================

MAMA MIA'S ITALIAN FOOD
Arlington VA

"Sailor you do have a good idea once in a while," Mac grinned, forking up a piece of 
Italian sausage.  "I was starving.  I'm sure Mark heard my stomach growl."

Harm's fork paused midway to his mouth.  "Mark?"

"The reason I was late getting back," she explained absently, cutting off another bite.  
"The prosecutor."

"You call him Mark?  Pretty familiar for a force from the opposition aren't you?"

A slow smile came across her face and she set down her fork with a slight clatter.  
"Harmon Rabb are you jealous?"

"Of course not," he scoffed and then looked at her seriously, his voice very quiet.  "Yes."

"Oh Harm," she smiled, and if she had dimples they would have been prominent at that 
moment.

"Besides you scared me when you didn't show up," he scowled.  "I thought something 
had happened to you.  And yes I know how needy that sounds and I can't help it.  I'm 
pathetic."

"You are not pathetic," she smiled.  "I knew I was running late.  Mark...OK Mr. 
Smallwood...corralled me and offered me a plea bargain I couldn't turn down.  We ironed 
that out and then I ran for the car.  I started out, and hit massive traffic on 50.  And of 
course my cell phone--the one I never remember to charge--was the proverbial door nail."

"So when are you and Mark getting married," he groaned, now attempting to laugh at the 
absurdity of his question.

"Cute Rabb.  Mark in fact was rushing to leave because he had to take his wife to the 
obstetrician.  Their fourth is due any day now."

He drew his breath in sharply, suitably contrite.  "You might have said that right off," he 
pouted.

"Yeah I might have," she smiled, "but you're cute when you're jealous."

"Don't talk to me," he muttered.
=======================
JAG HQ
1 Hour later

"Sir you have a minute?" Mac asked at AJ's open door.  "Your yeoman seems to be 
missing in action out here."

"I sent him for some Excedrin for me," AJ sighed.  "It's been that kind of day.  And I see 
that you have Rabb with you, which means it's not going to get any better.  Come in both 
of you."

"Actually sir we're going to offer to get out of your life for a day," Harm smiled, plunging 
right in.  "Sir, Capt. Taylor suggested that Mac and I take a long weekend away from JAG 
and everything.  He wants us to try to figure out a few things, and he's recommending we 
try a change of scene and..."

"Rabb, Admiral with a headache here.  Put two leave forms on Tiner's desk close of 
business tomorrow and have a good time."

"Yes sir," Harm grinned.  "Thank you."

AJ nodded and regarded his two officers thoughtfully.  "While I have you together here, 
let me say that I'm pleased that you're seeming to cope with what happened to you Mr. 
Rabb.  I took the liberty of talking to a psychologist--not the one you're seeing--about 
possible after affects.  I wasn't thrilled with what she was telling me.  You're too good an 
officer and a lawyer, not to mention man, to let something like what happened throw you 
for that much of a loop.  At least that's what I'm hoping.  Harm?"

He was silent and Mac poked him.

"Uh...or sorry sir, excuse me," he gulped.  "Yes sir.  I won't claim I haven't had my 
moments since the mishap but I'm holding it together."  He took a long breath and 
reached for Mac's hand.  "Sir I've had a lot of help.  Well like I told you this morning.  And 
she deserves the Navy Cross for putting up with me during my recovery."

"Just being a friend and partner," Mac said carefully, sensing support from their C.O. but 
not sure where his sense of friendship would end and his loyalty to his command would 
begin.  She would not allow Harm to be taken off duty and put on medical leave if she 
could help it.

"Right," AJ nodded, barely keeping a straight face.  "Get out of here both of you."
===============
For the remainder of the afternoon they worked in their own offices, and at quitting time 
she stopped by his door.  "I'm ready to head out.  You want to grab a bite before you 
head home?"

"Thanks but after tomorrow you're going to be putting up with me for seventy-two hours.  I 
think I should lay low tonight."

"Harm you know I like having you around.  Having you in my life.  I very nearly almost 
found out what not having you would be like.  I don't want to go there again."

"I know.  It wasn't that many days ago I was sure the next time I saw you it would be to ID 
your body."  He shuddered visibly then and she came inside and closed the door.

"You OK?  And be straight with me because you know I'll know if you're not."  She 
hooked a finger under his chin and made him look up at her, her brown eyes meeting his 
blue-green's.

"I'm fine, promise.  And I've got more than an evenings worth of research and prep on the 
Cranshaw case.  I swear I'm going to shoot the SOB myself and save the jury the trouble.  
Anyway, can I call you later?  Say goodnight?"

"Of course.  Drive safe home," she nodded, giving him another long look before she was 
convinced of his sincerity.  With a quick kiss to his cheek she hurried to the door, calling 
over her shoulder, "Hey Mark's wife is otherwise occupied tonight.  I think I'll see if he'd 
like to join me for dinner," before she disappeared.

"There's that urge to kill again," he muttered.

 
 He stayed at JAG HQ's longer than he'd intended, finally looking up and was 
 surprised to see how late it was. With a sigh he grabbed his briefcase, 
 throwing a few papers in it before heading out the door.  He fought the urge 
 to drive to Mac's apartment, knowing it was time he started handling this on 
 his own.
 
 "You're a big boy Rabb," he said as he let himself into his place. "Start 
 acting like it."
 
 He hadn't realized how much he'd gotten used to being with Mac until he 
 found himself pacing his apartment. There hadn't been anything good on TV 
 and he'd finally given up on that.  And his mind kept replaying the 
 conversations with the Admiral and Mac over and over again. He'd been 
 surprised when the Admiral had asked him if he and Mac were getting 
 involved. Course that was better than the alternative of the Admiral finding 
 out that he was losing it. But the Admiral's question had brought back up 
 the question of what his feelings for Mac really were.
 
 "Don't go there" he warned himself.  He was happy with the way things were 
 going with him and Mac. They were best friends again, just like they had 
 been before Brumby and Renee had ruined that. And right now that was what he 
 needed more than anything else. Especially since he was nearly losing it. He 
 dreaded the thought of sleeping alone again, Mac's sofa providing him a 
 sense of security for some reason. Of course that was probably because he 
 knew she was just a few feet down the hall, ready to hold him and comfort 
 him when he woke from the nightmare. Unlike here, where he'd have to face 
 the nightmares alone.
 
 Finally frustrated with the four walls of his apartment he changed into 
 sweats and a t-shirt and put on his running shoes. He'd take a quick jog up 
 to Union Station to clear his mind. Mac always said that running help clear 
 her mind and that's exactly what he needed.  He pounded down the stairs and 
 out into the warm summer evening.  With a deep breath he started off, glad 
 he'd decided to get out of his apartment. Hopefully after a nice long run 
 he'd be tired and wouldn't have any problem falling asleep.
 
 By the time he reached Union Station he was tired and panting hard, having 
 forgotten he still wasn't totally back to his normal self. In more ways than 
 one, he thought to himself ruefully. As he started back towards his place at 
 a slower pace he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever be the same 
 person. The question of whether he would ever fly again was one he hadn't 
 even dared himself to think about. Could he handle never flying again? He'd 
 survived the first time he'd been forced to give it up. Would he be able to 
 do it again?
 
 Halfway back he slowed his pace even more, suddenly more exhausted than he 
 realized. He was so busy concentrating on getting back to his place he never 
 heard the two men come up behind him until an arm reached out, grabbing him 
 and pulling him behind a nearby building. He struggled to break free of his 
 captors' hold, only to receive a harsh blow to his stomach and he doubled 
 over in pain. While one of the men held him, the other searched for his 
 wallet and keys, pulling both out with a grin.
 
 "Looky what we got here" one of the men grinned as he pulled out Harm's 
 military ID. "Big Navy Dude. Let's see what you're made of Navy."
 
 ******************************************
 Across town Mac paced her apartment as she listened to Harm's phone ring for 
 the millionth time. He'd promised he'd call her before bed and she'd been 
 trying for the past 15 minutes to get a hold of him.
 
 "Answer Harm" she pleaded. "Please answer."
 
 She got his machine again and resisted the urge to slam down the phone.  
 Something was wrong. She knew it. There was no reason Harm wouldn't be home 
 by now. It was late and he hadn't said anything about going out anywhere. 
 She tried his phone one more time before slipping on a pair of sweats and 
 sweatshirt and heading out.
 
 She made the trip to Harm's place in record time, fortunate that there 
 weren't any police around as she whizzed her way down the streets to Harm's 
 apartment. She grew more alarmed when she saw his SUV sitting in the parking 
 lot of his building and she quickly hurried up the stairs to his apartment. 
 Without even bothering to knock, she let herself into his apartment.
 
 "Harm" she called anxiously as she ran through his place. "Harm"
 
 It didn't take long to realize that he wasn't there and with a sigh she 
 looked around, trying to figure how where he might have gone to. Deciding he 
 might have decided to go for a walk or quick jog, she quickly made her way 
 down the stairs again and outside.  She looked around, trying to decide 
 which way he might have gone.  Finally she headed towards Union Station, 
 praying she was right. She took off in a slow run, glancing around for any 
 sign of Harm. By the time she reached Union Station her concern for her 
 partner was nearing epic proportions.  With a silent prayer that he was 
 somewhere okay, she headed back towards his apartment.
 
 Behind the building Harm groaned as he finally stirred. His head was 
 pounding thanks to a hard shove against that brick building that had sent 
 him into oblivion. It took a supreme effort but he finally pushed himself to 
 his feet. He leaned up against the wall as he fought the wave of dizziness, 
 wondering if he'd be able to make it back to his apartment like this. With a 
 deep breath he staggered out from behind the building, trying to focus on 
 putting one foot in front of the other.
 
 As Mac made her way back, she saw the figure stagger out from behind the 
 building. It took but a second to realize that it was Harm and with a cry of 
 his name she took off in a sprint towards him.
 
 He stopped and looked around, the sound of Mac's voice startling him. He was 
 even more surprised when she reached him seconds later, quickly wrapping an 
 arm around his waist to support him.
 
 "Mac, what are you doing here?" he murmured as he leaned against her.
 
 "When someone didn't call I started to panic.  And I see I had good reason 
 to."
 
 "Sorry. I was out for a run when I got jumped from behind"
 
 "We'll discuss what you were doing out here at this time of the night after 
 I get your six to the ER" Mac chided him.
 
 "No ER" he said as he shook his head, only to regret that move as the world 
 around him swam and he grabbed onto Mac.
 
 "Easy there sailor" Mac said anxiously as she held onto him. "You're in no 
 condition to do anything except agree with me."
 
 "Mac, I don't need the ER" Harm protested as he looked over at her once his 
 vision finally cleared. "I just need some aspirin and an ice bag."
 
 "Let's get you home first and then we'll discuss whether or not you need the 
 ER" Mac fretted.
 
 It was a slow walk back to his place and once inside she quickly guided him 
 to the couch, easing him down gently.
 
 "You still with me sailor?" she asked as he leaned back and closed his eyes.
 
 "Yeah, I'm here" he murmured as he forced his eyes open again. "Just tired."
 
 "I'm going to get some ice and some Tylenol and I'll be right back" she said 
 as she stood up, her hand gently resting against his cheek for a moment 
 before she finally turned and headed towards the kitchen.
 
 He put his head back against the top of the sofa, closing his eyes and letting the fact that 
she was here, watching after him, relax him.

"Why don't we talk about what you were doing out there," she requested when she 
returned, popping two pills into his mouth and holding a glass of orange juice to his lips.

"I was just taking a run.  The walls of this place were closing in on me frankly and I was 
just taking a run, getting some air.  God knows you run when you're feeling pressured."  
He winced as she pressed the ice filled towel to the growing lump at the back of his head.  

"Harm this needs to be looked at."

"You're looking at it," he growled.  "Mac please.  I've seen enough of hospitals to last me 
a thousand life times.  And anyway, not to change the subject or anything, but you...you 
were prowling around on foot out there looking for me, are you crazy or what?  This area 
isn't safe at night for..."

"Bingo," she gloated.  "And don't you dare say for a woman, Mr. I probably have a 
concussion and won't admit it."

He glared at her but said nothing.

"Were you having trouble with being alone?" she asked gently after a few minutes.

"Oh no not at all," he moaned sarcastically, making her smile.

"I told you you were welcome with me any time," she reminded him just as gently.  

"Mac that's not the answer," he snapped.  "I mean I can't move in with you."

"You could if that would help," she said quietly, much to his surprise.

"You're serious aren't you?"

"No Harm, I'm a laugh riot at midnight," she answered.  "Yes I'm serious. If that's what it 
would take.  Come and bring your stuff.  For as long as it would take until you're ready to 
be alone, or for good."

He smiled gently, cupping her cheek.  "I may just take you up on that.  It may come to 
that--that or that locked ward at Bethesda."

"Oh brother," she groaned.  "Listen if I thought you were that bad, I'd be hauling you over 
there myself.  Harm, give yourself time and permission to be having difficulty.  There's no 
shame in that."  She pressed his cheek with her palm again.  "I still--three years later--
see the poacher's face in my sleep.  See the look he's giving me as I'm stabbing him."

"I'm sorry," he breathed.  "That should never have happened."

"But it did, and I'm living with it.  Just as you're going to live with what happened to you."  
She lifted the ice and looked at the bump.  "OK at least it's not getting any worse.  And I 
think bed rest is definitely in order.  Now it's my turn to lump on your sofa."

"You're staying?"

"Of course I am.  I'm not leaving you alone after that.  You could get worse and I know 
you--you'd turn blue before you'd call 911."  She rose and took his hands to tug him up 
from the sofa, propelling him toward his bed.  "Sleep Sailor."

He turned and before she could react, placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.  "My 
life would be nothing without you."

"Nor mine without you," she replied, giving him a quick hug before guiding him under the 
covers.  Without waiting for him to ask, she sat on the edge of the mattress, stroking his 
forehead for the few minutes it took until he slept.
======================
"Harm is that you?  You need something?"  She had been deeply asleep when a noise 
woke her.  The street lamp below the window provided just enough light for her to make 
out that the apartment door was being opened little by little, the noise that awoke her 
having been the key in the lock.

She looked to the back and could tell at once Harm was still asleep.  Not sure that he 
could move fast enough in an emergency, she prayed he would stay that way.  With 
stealth born of her training, she got off the sofa and crept to the kitchen, knowing where 
Harm stowed his service weapon.

She had just gotten the clip loaded when the intruder came fully through the door, and his 
eyes not adjusted to the darkness from the brighter hallway.  He crashed into the small 
table near the door, sending the lamp to the floor.

The crash brought Harm bolt upright just as Mac screamed "Freeze right there.  I'm 
armed and I will shoot."  

The man turned to her, bringing up his hand which to Mac's surprise contained a small 
handgun.  He obviously took her threat seriously for a second later he fired in her 
direction.  She returned fire in the same second, and with her training making her act 
instinctively, she hit the floor to roll and take cover.

The intruder collapsed just inside the door, victim of her expert marksmanship, and there 
was silence.  Silence save for Harm's scream of her name as she had not moved.


  
 
 "Mac" he screamed again as he tore from the bedroom to the kitchen. "Please 
 let her be okay Lord." He was at her side in seconds and with trembling 
 hands reached to turn her over. He let out a sigh of relief when he didn't 
 see any blood. She stirred at his touch, opening her eyes to stare up at 
 him.
 
 "You trying to give me a heart attack or what Marine?" he asked as he pulled 
 her against him.
 
 "Sorry" she murmured. She'd hit her head on the floor as she'd made her 
 move, dazing her slightly. "I just heard the noise and then before I knew he 
 was in here. Good thing I knew where you keep your gun."
 
 "Did he break in?" Harm asked, not bothering to move from his position of 
 holding her to check on the intruder.
 
 "No, he had a key" Mac said as she sat up further. "Harm, this must be one 
 of the people who attacked you tonight."
 
 "God, I didn't think about it. But you're right. They took my wallet and 
 keys and probably figured they'd come back and rob the place."
 
 "Yeah and god only knows what they might have done to you." Mac shuddered at 
 the picture her mind was painting of a Harm running into the man with the 
 gun.
 
 "Yeah well I almost watched it happen to you" Harm countered. "When I first 
 walked out here and you hadn't move.." He stopped and swallowed hard as he 
 thought about easily she could have been lying on the floor with a bullet in 
 her.
 
 "I'm a Marine, remember" she said as she gave him a smile. "We know how to 
 take cover."
 
 "Thank god for that" Harm sighed. The wail of sirens in the distance told 
 them that one of Harm's neighbors had already called the police and when 
 they heard the pounding up the steps a few minutes later Harm finally helped 
 Mac up to her feet.
 
 "You okay?" he asked.
 
 "I'm fine" she assured him. "I was just dazed there for a second. Nothing 
 like the lump you have on your head from earlier."
 
 Seconds later the place was crawling with police and paramedics and Harm and 
 Mac began to explain what had happened. It was a long two hours before the 
 cops had finished taking their statements and by the time they left, Harm 
 collapsed onto the sofa, Mac joining him seconds later.
 
 "How you doing sailor?" Mac asked as she gently pulled him against her.
 
 "Tired" he murmured. "I guess I wasn't planning on getting any sleep tonight 
 anyway."
 
 "You know if you'd just stayed with me like I offered none of this would 
 have happened."
 
 "Mac" Harm moaned. "No lectures please. Yes I should have stayed with you. I 
 admit it. Watching you nearly get killed because I was stupid earlier wasn’t 
 fun and it's not something I care to repeat."
 
 "Does that mean the lump is returning to my sofa?" Mac teased gently.
 
 "If the lump could, yes" Harm sighed. "How long is that tab you're keeping?"
 
 "All part of the deal I made with God" Mac smiled. "So don't worry about 
 that tab. It's on me. Now what do you say we try and get a few hours sleep?"
 
 "Can we just stay right here?" Harm murmured. "I don’t have the energy to go 
 to the bedroom"
 
 "I think we can manage that" Mac whispered as she pulled the sheet up around 
 both of them. She gently stroked his forehead and seconds later he was 
 asleep again in her arms. "Night sailor" she said softly as she pressed her 
 lips to his forehead.
 
 ****************************
 It was the ringing of the telephone the next morning that finally pulled Mac 
 from her slumber. Followed by the booming voice of the Admiral on the 
 answering machine.
 
 "Commander if you're home pick up the phone"
 
 Mac's eyes flew open and she realized that they'd overslept. It was almost 
 09:00 and she quickly pushed Harm off of her and hurried to answer the 
 phone.
 
 "Sir, its Mac"
 
 "Colonel, there better be one hell of an explanation as to why you and your 
 partner aren't here at your duty stations" AJ bellowed. "And then you can 
 explain what you're doing over at his place this time."
 
 "There is sir" Mac sighed as she looked over at Harm who was finally 
 beginning to stir. "We had a little excitement last night."
 
 "I'm listening" AJ said sharply.
 
 She told him about Harm's mugging, carefully avoiding telling the Admiral 
 that she'd been worried about Harm and that's why she'd come over. Instead 
 she'd told him that they'd promised to meet for coffee later and when he 
 hadn't shown she'd gone to find him. And then how she'd stayed, wanting to 
 make sure he was okay after the attack, finally ending with her shooting the 
 intruder.
 
 "There's never a dull moment with you two is there" AJ said when she 
 finished.
 
 "Sorry sir" Mac said sheepishly as she looked at Harm. "We'll be there 
 shortly."
 
 "Was he mad?" Harm asked after she hung up.
 
 "Not after I explained to him what happened," Mac said as she sat down 
 beside him. "Course he probably thinks we have trouble tattooed to our 
 foreheads or something."
 
 "I'm sorry" Harm sighed. "This is all my fault. You're lying to the Admiral 
 to cover my six and now you're missing work because…"
 
 He was silenced with a gentle hand to his lips. "No more of the this is all 
 my fault" Mac said firmly. "I'm a big girl and I make my own decisions. Yes 
 I wasn't completely honest with the Admiral about what happened. But you're 
 not holding a gun to my head and making me lie. I'm doing what I'm doing 
 because I care very much about you and I want to help you get past this."
 
 "And for that I am eternally gratefully" he said softly. "I guess I'd better 
 get my six in the shower huh?"
 
 "Might be a good idea sailor" Mac smiled. "We're skating on pretty thin ice 
 with the Admiral as it is. We don't want him to rescind our leave for 
 tomorrow."
 
 "No we don't" Harm agreed. "I think we're both in need of that weekend away 
 after last night."
 
 "As the Admiral said there's never a dull moment with us" Mac grinned. "But 
 yeah, I think we're both in need of some quiet time away. You going to be 
 okay getting to work yourself?"
 
 "Yes mom" he said as he stood up. "Thanks again for last night. I don't know 
 what I'd do without you."
 
 "Lucky for you you don't have to find out" Mac said softly. "Get moving 
 sailor. I’ll see yah in a little bit."
 
 She grabbed her purse and to his surprise placed a quick kiss on his cheek 
 before heading out the door.
 
 "Yes I am lucky," he said after she was gone.  That she would do anything 
 for him was obvious. And for some reason that scared him.

He stared at the door for another minute.  No not for some reason, for a very specific 
reason.  Because if anything were to happen to her, especially in his defense, his own life 
would be over.
================
JAG HQ
12 Noon Eastern

"Sir," Harm acknowledged AJ's arrival in the break room and he and Mac both started to 
rise.

"Sit," their C.O. barked.  "I'm just reading your DA 612's.  Thank you for filing them so 
quickly."

"Hey who had a personal incident?" Bud demanded as he came in.

"Mac and I had an intruder at my place last night," Harm said quietly, giving a small 
shake as the picture of Mac on the floor was painted in his mind.  That she sensed his 
discomfort and put her hand atop his was not lost on AJ, who nonetheless made no 
comment.

"And what happened?" Bud asked eagerly.

"I killed him Bud," she said softly.  "He fired at me and I killed him."  At her words Harm 
turned his hand over and let hers fall into it, squeezing gently.

"Wow," Bud breathed, his mouth falling open in admiration for the Marine's courage.  
"Ma'am I...well I don't know if I could do anything like that.  I've never..."

"Bud could we drop it please," Harm snapped.  "I almost lost her last night thanks to my 
stupidity at not realizing having my wallet and keys lifted would lead the jerk who mugged 
me to my place."

Bud looked immediately shocked, and AJ smiled to himself, adding 'lost her' to the 
registry of evidence he was keeping.  These two may just have finally figured it out.  He 
hoped so.  He would deal with any complications that might cause.  He bore far more 
concern over Rabb's mental state after the mishap, and whether they were being straight 
with him as to his recovery.

"Why don't we change the subject," AJ agreed quickly, seeing distress on the faces of 
both senior officers and knowing they did not need the stress.  "Where are you two going 
on your trip?"

"Gatlinburg," Mac smiled giving Harm's hand another firm grasp before releasing it. 

"Oh wow that's romantic," Bud yelped and once again was sorry almost at once.  "I think 
I'm going to go now."

"Bud sit down," Harm ordered.  "Romantic it may be, but that's not why we're going.  My 
counselor thinks getting away from here for a couple days will help me to..."  He paused 
and glanced at AJ, "well just to sort things through a little bit better.  And the colonel is 
going because she's my babysitter."  "Not that I need one," he added hastily.

To the relief of both Harm and Mac, the conversation turned to Bud's court appearance 
that morning.  Mac listened with only half an ear, absently nibbling at her ham sandwich.  
She could feel reaction to last night settle in.  The calm after the storm, and her stomach 
was knotting.  In the midst of Bud's tale as to how he flummoxed Singer, she smushed 
the remaining sandwich in its wrap and quietly got up to leave.

"Mac?" Harm questioned at once.  "We haven't used up all our time yet."

"I...I just have a lot to do before we go, since we're not going to be here," she stammered, 
"and I need to visit the facilities.  Excuse me please."

The men watched her go and AJ fixed a concern look on Harm.  "Son is she OK?"

"Sir I think so," he frowned.  "I mean she's been OK all morning, I thought.  Maybe I 
should..." With that he started to rise, only to have Bud hold to his arm.

"Sir if I may....well sometimes sir Harriet doesn't want me.  She wants her space instead.  
I don't presume to know the Colonel, but maybe you want to...well let her come to you."

"The boy's got a point," AJ nodded, and Harm sank back down, still frowning.

When Harm emerged from the lunch room, Mac's door was closed and that told him she 
was not willing to be disturbed.  Two hours passed and he was pleasantly surprised to 
find her at his door.

"Hey we've been dismissed," she smiled. "The Admiral said we should go pack."

"OK give me five to clean up here," he grinned and gave a long sigh of relief.  "You're OK 
aren't you?"

"Yeah fine, why?" she replied with such cheerfulness that he felt foolish for asking.

"Uh...no reason."  Quickly he stowed his paperwork and shut down the computer.  A 
quick grab of his cover and then, "OK, we're outta here.  Smokey Mountains here we 
come.  What time are we departing?"

"I thought around 0500, with a stop halfway for breakfast," she replied.  That puts us in 
there mid morning, still with the whole day ahead of us."

"Well I cannot wait," he declared, taking her arm as they walked out.  

AJ had been standing at Tiner's desk looking at a manual and glanced up as they walked 
by.  He smiled softly as he turned to go.  Another one for his log.
=========================
With a stop at the super's office to pick up the new key, the lock having been changed at 
Harm's request, they walked upstairs.  He put the key in the door and held it open for her.

"Oh my god," she gasped a second later, covering her mouth and nose.  "I had forgotten 
what dried blood smells like."  And with that she backed up into the hallway, taking deep 
breaths in hopes of quelling the rising nausea.

He followed her out immediately.  "Hey I am so sorry.  I should have called someone to 
get this mess cleaned up.  I didn't think.  You going to be OK?"  Gentle hands went to her 
arms and he bent low to look into her eyes.

"If I stay out here," she panted, "but another whiff of that and I'm going to lose it.  In fact 
I'm going to walk down to the car.  Please just get your stuff and I'll meet you.  I'm sorry."

"Don't even think that," he told her sternly.  "My fault for not realizing I should have had 
the super get cleaners in here.  Go.  I'll be right down, but you lock the car doors."

She nodded and fled.  

He packed in record time and flew down the steps, relieved to see her inside the car.  
"Let's get out of here."
==================
MAC's APARTMENT
2 Hours Later

"Someday you're going to make someone a wonderful wife," Mac teased as she picked 
up the dinner dishes.  A quick stop for pasta and chicken and dinner was made and 
eaten.  

"Let me give you a hand."

"No thanks.  You march yourself over to the sofa and sit down.  I've got my eye on you 
from that head injury last night anyway, and you right now are looking pretty droopy."

"I wouldn't mind a rest," he admitted, "but hey, just rinse them quick.  We'll take care of 
them later."

By the time she had gotten the kitchen in order, he had dropped off to sleep, Dan Rather 
notwithstanding.  With a small smile she fixed herself on the sofa next to him, and the 
smile continued when he sensed her presence and his arm went over her shoulders, 
pulling her to him in his sleepy state.  "I could get real used to this Flyboy," she whispered 
and got a soft 'hmmm' in response.
=================
It was the absence of her warm body that made him stir two hours later.  He could hear 
water running, along with soft sobbing.  Sitting up straight, rubbing his eyes, he could see 
her in the kitchen.  Her back to him, she was hunched over the sink, clouds of steam 
rising from the hot water.

"Mac what are you doing?" he called as he levered himself from the sofa.  "I told you not 
to worry about those dishes."

She did not answer and he hurried to her side, his eyes widening at the sight.  She had 
the hot water on at full force, holding her hands beneath the stream, one hand scrubbing 
the other with a small brush, and the skin now bright red from the hot water and steam.

"My god what in the hell is the matter with you," he exploded, yanking her hands away 
and turning the cold on, then plunging them back into the stream.

"No don't," she shrieked.  "Leave me alone. I have to get the blood off me.”

 

 Instantly he knew what was wrong.
 
 "Mac honey it's okay," he said gently, his arm going around her. "There's no 
 more blood. It's all gone."
 
 "No, it's still there" she whimpered.
 
 "No honey it's all gone," he said as he continued to hold her hands under 
 the cool stream of water. They were still bright red and he realized they 
 were probably scalded from the hot water.
 
 "He's dead Harm" she wailed. "I killed him. I killed another man."
 
 "You didn't have a choice" Harm soothed as his arm went around her, 
 resisting the urge to pull her into his arms, keeping her hands under the 
 cool water more important that moment. "He shot at you first."
 
 "I didn't have to kill him though" Mac sobbed.
 
 "I'm so sorry Mac" Harm whispered, as he gently pulled her against him, her 
 hands still in the water. "I'm sorry. This should never have happened. This 
 is my fault."
 
 She continued to sob as they stood there, Harm finally turning off the water 
 and inspecting her hands a short time later. They were still red but it 
 didn't appear to be bad enough to warrant the emergency room. Gently he 
 pulled her to the bedroom, setting her down on the bed while he rummaged 
 through her bathroom cabinets, finally finding some gauze to wrap her hands 
 in. She'd finally stopped crying and now sat there quietly.
 
 "Mac, honey, it's going to be all right" he said as he sat down next to her, 
 gently reaching for her hands. Minutes later he'd finished wrapping them and 
 set them back down on her lap. "You okay?" he asked softly.
 
 She nodded. "I'm sorry. I'd fallen asleep with you and I started to see him 
 again. And his blood and suddenly it was all over me. Just like when we were 
 in the mountains. I just wanted it off of me." She choked back a sob and he 
 pulled her into his arms.
 
 "You have no idea how sorry I am" he whispered as he gently rubbed her back. 
 "But I promise it's going to be okay. You didn't do anything wrong Mac."
 
 "Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that. But when we went pack to your 
 place and I saw and smelled the blood…"
 
 "Don't" Harm whispered. "Don't even think about it. I shouldn't have taken 
 you back there. I wasn't thinking right or I would have known better."
 
 "Not your fault" she whispered as she finally began to relax in his arms.
 
 "What do you say we get some rest?" Harm said a short time later as he 
 gently pulled away from her. "Let's get you tucked in and then I'll go find 
 my usual spot on the sofa."
 
 "Harm, please don't leave me" she said as she grabbed onto his arm. "Please 
 stay in here with me tonight. I just need to know you're here in case I 
 start dreaming about him again."
 
 He knew exactly where she was coming from, knowing how many times he'd woken 
 in a panic until she'd come out to comfort him. "Of course I'll stay in here 
 with you." He gently led her to the bed, helping her under the covers before 
 sliding in beside her. Her arms instantly wrapped around his chest as she 
 buried her head in his shoulder. He brought his arms around her, pulling her 
 closer. A short time later the sound of her breathing told him she was 
 asleep and he let out a sigh of relief that she'd been able to fall asleep. 
 He wasn't so sure that that would be the case for him.
 
 The light was streaming through the windows when Mac finally pushed her eyes 
 open, finding her self staring at her still sleeping partner. She raised her 
 head from his chest, and he instantly stirred.
 
 "Mac it's okay, I'm right here" he mumbled as his hand reached for her 
 again.
 
 "I know you are" she whispered as she snuggled up next to him again. "And 
 I'm really glad you are."
 
 His eyes opened slowly and he looked down at her. "Hey, what are you doing 
 up already?" he said sleepily.
 
 "We were supposed to be on the road to Gatlinburg by now" Mac said with a 
 small smile. "I guess we both overslept."
 
 "Yes but we have no schedule to keep now do we" Harm reminded her. "How are 
 you doing? You okay?"
 
 "Well I didn't dream about him again. I think I'm okay now. Just a delayed 
 reaction to everything I guess. I'm sorry I freaked on you like that."
 
 "Just apply it against my tab" Harm smiled. "And you have nothing to 
 apologize for. First off you had every reason to have a reaction like that. 
 Secondly, it's not like I haven't done my share of freaking the past few 
 weeks."
 
 "Thanks" she said softly. "And thanks for staying with me last night."
 
 "You sure you're okay now?"
 
 "Yeah, I'm not promising I won't wig out on you again" she said with a small 
 smile. "But I'm okay. Really."
 
 "You know how sorry I am all that happened don't you?" Harm said quietly.
 
 "Yes, but I don't want you blaming yourself. You've got enough to deal with 
 without feeling like you were responsible for what happened. It's over and 
 I'll get through it. And on that note, no more talk about that. We're 
 supposed to be relaxing this weekend."
 
 "And we will. How's your hands? Does it hurt bad?"
 
 "Not too bad. But I won't be washing any dishes this weekend" she smiled. 
 "Really, I'm fine. Please don't worry. Now what do you say we get our sixes 
 going so we can enjoy a little bit of the day once we get there."
 
 "Yes ma'am" Harm said with a mock salute.
 
 After enjoying a leisurely breakfast at the diner near Mac's apartment they 
 started towards Gatlinburg, Harm handling the driving duties.
 
 "By the way, I really appreciate you coming with me on this little weekend 
 away" Harm said a short time later.
 
 "Well I think we've given the office something to talk about" Mac smiled.
 
 "As long as they're talking about that and not the fact that I'm one step 
 away from the padded cell at Bethesda I'm happy" Harm sighed.
 
 "Hey none of that. And you slept fine last night" Mac countered.
 
 "Yeah I guess I did. Either I was too worried about you or maybe it was just 
 holding you in my arms. But it was the first time in a long time that I 
 didn't have any nightmares. And I am looking forward to this weekend with 
 you."
 
 "Me too. And I'm happy to be here with you. And not as you're baby-sitter 
 either. I'm here because I care about you and I want very much for you to 
 get passed all this."
 
 "Well you've gone above and beyond the call of duty on this assignment 
 Marine" Harm said with a small smile.
 
 "Yes but I'm in for the duration. You're stuck with me."
 
 "Thank god for that." He was silent for a minute before glancing at her 
 again. "You know how good it feels to be like this again."
 
 "You mean friends who care about each other," Mac said softly and he nodded. 
   "It feels real good. I'm just sorry it took what it did to get that 
 friendship back."
 
 "Promise me we won't lose it again" Harm whispered. "Our friendship and 
 caring about each other."
 
 "Never sailor" Mac promised. "Never."

He gave a long sigh and a small shudder, and she waited for him to speak again.  
"Harm," she prompted after a minute of his silence.  "Harm don't shut me out now.  
You've got something on your mind yet."

"Only how much I hate that I almost had to die, and you almost had to make the biggest 
mistake of your life for us to get back what came so easily to us before my carrier duty."

"Sometimes God doesn't make things easy--especially something that worthwhile," she 
shrugged.  "I don't know.  You ask yourself where was your head, I ask myself the same 
thing about myself.  I wasn't in love with Mic Brumby--not when I took the ring, not when I 
moved the ring, and not when I was making wedding plans.  I needed a good swift kick 
that's for sure."

"And I was going to give it to you," he grinned.

"When were you going to that?" she demanded.  "I mean I was at the point of no return 
just about."

"Why do you think I was so bound and determined to get to ...." he began when suddenly 
filling his vision was an errant tanker truck, having cut into his lane at a high rate of 
speed.  

Mac gave a low cry of alarm and clapped her hand to her mouth, frozen in fear as she 
watched the tanker rock from side to side as Harm put both feet on the brake pedal.  A 
split second later he realized that was not going to be enough to avoid a certain collision, 
and with skill born of countless hours in the air, he floored the accelerator and spun the 
steering wheel at the same time.  The SUV's powerful engine leaped to life and the 
vehicle shot forward, narrowly missing the side of the tanker.  

"Nice work Sailor," she breathed, clutching his arm.

A few seconds later she realized he had not heard her, nor had he slowed the SUV back 
to highway speed.  His foot was to the floor and he was holding the wheel tightly, staring 
straight ahead, his hands not moving except to swerve around a slower moving car.

"Harm stop now," she ordered. "Stop. We're going to get a ticket or worse you're going to 
kill us or someone else.  Harm?....HARM."

Realizing she had only seconds to act before something happened, she took her belt off 
and slid closer to him, giving him a firm shake.  "Commander Rabb, stand down right 
now."  At the same time she pushed his foot from the gas pedal and began to apply the 
brake, blessing her long legs.  As the car began to slow she held onto the steering wheel 
as best she could, breathing a long sigh of relief when an exit appeared.  "Harm we're 
pulling off right here" she told him firmly, guiding the SUV to the off ramp and as soon as 
she was clear of the interstate, brought it to a halt.

"OK we're stopped," she breathed, realizing she was trembling slightly.  

Harm turned to her and gave her a dazed look.  His mouth opened to speak and nothing 
was forthcoming.

"OK Sailor, this would be a good time to tell me what that was all about," she said evenly, 
trying to keep her voice gentle.

"I...I'm not sure.  I got us away from the tanker," he stammered.

"Yes you did, and for that you deserve another DFC, but it's what happened after that's in 
question.  Harm what was going through your mind?"

"What did I do?  I remember thinking I was at full throttle and..."  Another helpless look.  
"Mac what happened?  I screwed up again didn't I?"

"Yeah you seemed like you...you were in the Tomcat," she said slowly, her mind trying to 
comprehend and explain what happened.

"I think I was," he sighed, putting his head down into his hands.  "I think for a few seconds 
I was.  I am so sorry.  I know I must have scared you to death."

"Yeah you did," she admitted.  "But it's over now.  And we have a cabin waiting for us, so 
get this bucket moving mister."

"You should drive."

She bit her lip, knowing that he was right, but also sensing that it was important that she 
not let him know that she had any concern about his ability.  "No way Sailor.  I'm enjoying 
the ride.  We'll stop ahead a ways for a cold drink and ice cream; and then I'll take over, 
but in the meantime you've got it."

He smiled softly and with a palm cupping the back of her head brought her to him, 
pressing his forehead to hers.  "Thank you.  I think you saved me again."

"Keeping score again--stop that.  I had my own little battle with my demons last night 
remember.  And we're still here by the side of the road.  Move this wagon mister, now."

She was casually alert as he pulled back onto the highway, and after the first few miles 
she relaxed, confident that he was back in control.  At the same time, playing in the back 
of her mind was the notion that he was about to tell her something important, about to let 
go of something he had been keeping inside, and that it was lost in the fury of the 
moment.  She shook her head, turning her attention to the passing scenery. They 
stopped for refreshment and an hour later were across the Virginia line into Tennessee, 
with her driving this time.

"I could have killed you."  His quiet pronouncement startled her.  She had thought he was 
asleep.

"What are you blathering about?"  She kept her voice light, hoping to keep him from 
sinking into any kind of mood.

"I could have killed you with that stunt back there.  This thing was up to almost ninety.  
Funny the things that stick in your mind when you're having a meltdown.  Too bad it didn't 
occur to me to take my foot off the throttle...uh gas."  He shot her a look of pure misery 
and then turned back to the window.

Keeping one eye on the road, she managed to turn his head back to look at her.  "You 
saved me.  Anyone else driving--including me--and that tanker truck would have made us 
road kill.  Only because you've got those pilot instincts were you able to think and act in 
the half-second you had.  So I don't want to hear another word like that."  

When he did not respond, she playfully took hold of his chin and made his head nod up 
and down.  "This is the part where you say 'yes colonel' and then the matter is closed."

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Oh that's a subject we could do hours on," she teased.  "Harm you know this is about 
getting through each day with the best outcome.  And these next few days are about 
enjoying and relaxing, which is supposed to help us to that end.  Please give it your best 
shot."

"Yes Colonel," he grinned.
=======================
SLEEPY HOLLOW CAMP GROUNDS
Near Gatlinburg, TN.

"OK, we're on the right trail," Mac decided, pointing to the crude wooden marker nailed to 
the tree.  "He said the cabins were well marked.  And here's number one.  With them a 
quarter mile a part we've got what three miles to number fourteen."

"Close enough for a Marine," he grinned, as she gave the SUV a little gas to urge it along 
the mountain road.

"Hey that's funny," he spoke up a few minutes later.  "There's no Cabin thirteen."

"No not any more," he nodded, looking up from the paper the caretaker had given him.  
"It's X'd out here, and that would explain why."  He gestured to the small plot of land, 
where once there obviously stood one of the small wooden cabins, now only charred 
trees and a blackened chimney remained.

"Sad," she sighed, "but there's ours right through the trees."

"Going to feel good to get out and stretch," he declared.

She parked under a broad tree and looked up, hearing the birds in the leaves.  "You'll 
need a wash job when we get back."  

He grinned and opened the cargo hatch.  "Be careful of your hands," he cautioned as she 
reached for her bag, and then moved to take it. 

"Don't fuss," she smiled, pushing her hand away.  She followed him inside, and when he 
put his bag on the large double bed, she set hers on the smaller sofa, and went out for 
the last of their stuff.

When she returned, her suitcase was sitting next to his on the bed.  "You don't mind do 
you?" he asked shyly, keeping his eyes from hers.


 

 "Is that you're subtle way of saying you preferred sleeping with me in your 
 arms last night?" Mac smiled.
 
 "Well it was the first night I slept without nightmares" he reminded her. 
 "But if you'd rather not, I'd understand completely. I don't want to force 
 you do to anything.."
 
 He was silenced with gentle fingers to his mouth. "I have no problem 
 sleeping in the same bed with you. And if I ever start having a problem with 
 anything here, I'll let you know."
 
 "Thank you" he sighed. "Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you."
 
 "Only about a million times but I can handle hearing it again" Mac teased. 
 "And hey, remember this that friendship stuff we talked about.  Caring about 
 each other. Now what do you say we go do some hiking while there's still 
 some daylight around here."
 
 A short time later they started off for the trails, Mac leading the way.
 
 "You tired yet sailor?" she asked as she stopped after an hour of hiking. 
 She dropped the backpack from her shoulders and pulled out two bottles of 
 water, handing one to him.
 
 "I'm fine" he assured her. "It's perfect up here. Not a soul around and 
 totally peaceful and quiet."
 
 "And no big ocean to look at" Mac added softly.
 
 "Yeah well that's a big plus" Harm said sheepishly. "After the incident on 
 the Henry I'm not sure I'm ready for a trip to a carrier any time soon. If 
 ever."
 
 "Hey don't say that" Mac chided him. "You're still getting over what 
 happened. It's going to take some time. But you will get past it."
 
 "I hope so otherwise you're going to be getting that new partner you've been 
 wishing for since this all happened?" His tone was teasing but to Mac it 
 wasn't something to joke about.
 
 "Don't even say that" Mac said sharply. "My god, Harm, do you realize how 
 hard it was for me? First not knowing if you were alive or dead and then not 
 knowing if you were going to live or not. I prayed harder than I ever have 
 that you would be okay.  I was so afraid I was going to lose you…" Her voice 
 broke off and she suddenly turned and ran, taking off down the trail.
 
 "Mac, wait I'm sorry" Harm called. She didn't stop and he cursed himself as 
 he grabbed the backpack and headed off after her. But she'd taken off at 
 such a fast pace that he quickly realized he had no idea what direction 
 she'd gone.
 
 "Nice job Rabb" he muttered to himself. He knew he'd been in the feeling 
 sorry for himself mode since the near miss on the freeway and she didn't 
 deserve it from him.
 
 Deciding she might have gone back to the cabin he headed in that direction, 
 feeling more of a jerk with each passing minute. She'd done so much for him 
 already and this weekend was supposed to be a chance for them to have some 
 quiet time and relax with each other. But no he had to go and open his big 
 mouth.
 
 She wasn't at the cabin and for a moment he debated what to do. He had no 
 clue which way she had gone and he knew she would eventually come back to 
 the cabin. It was already late afternoon and he knew she knew better than to 
 be out when it got dark. He sat down in the old rocking chair on the porch 
 to wait for her, already planning out his apology.  He closed his eyes as he 
 leaned back in the rocker, suddenly tired from all that had happened the 
 past two nights.
 
 "Jerk" Mac muttered as she continued along. "Why do I care?" she asked no 
 one in particular, angrily wiping away more stray tears. She'd been hiking 
 for hours now, taking out her frustrations on her body. She wasn't ready to 
 go back and talk to him yet, still upset with him for having that attitude. 
 After everything she'd done to help him through this, he was still in the 
 sorry mode. When was he going to realize that she was just grateful that he 
 was still alive and with her? And that he should be thankful for the same 
 thing?
 
 "He's a stubborn pigheaded jerk" she muttered out loud as she continued on.
 
 He awoke with a start a few hours later. The sun had now set and the evening 
 smoke from off the mountains was beginning to roll in.
 
 "Mac" he called as he headed inside the cabin. "Mac"
 
 With a wave of alarm he realized she hadn't come back. "Oh god, please let 
 her be okay" he whispered heavenwards. He should have gone after her sooner. 
 She could be lying hurt somewhere and he'd just been sitting there sleeping 
 the past few hours. He knew that she wouldn't be out there alone in the dark 
 unless something had happened. Something like she was hurt. He searched the 
 cabin, finding a flashlight and lantern which he took with him as he headed 
 out after her.
 
 "Mac" he called as he headed down the trail. "Mac"
 
 Mac was in fact several miles away at that moment having continued to hike 
 longer than she'd realized. She hadn't intended to be out in the dark, but 
 she'd kept on going and now she wasn't sure which direction would lead her 
 back to the cabin.
 
 "And you call yourself a Marine" she chided herself, trying to hold back her 
 growing anxiety. Not for herself necessarily, but for Harm. She knew he 
 would freak when she didn't come back to the cabin, and that was the last 
 thing he needed this weekend. With a sigh she started off the way she 
 thought would lead to the cabins, praying she was right.
 
 "Mac" Harm called as he continued along. "Mac, please answer me"
 
 There was no answer and with growing fear he continued on. If anything 
 happened to her there would be no one to blame but himself. If he hadn't 
 been such a jerk she wouldn't have taken off like that. She would be sitting 
 safely at the cabin where she belonged. Not out in the woods where god knows 
 what could happen to her. He plunged on through the growing darkness, 
 praying she was okay.
 
 Mac stopped again, trying to get her bearings. She wasn't entirely sure she 
 was going in the right direction, the darkness making it more difficult.
 
 "Okay, stay calm" she reminded herself. Getting freaked wouldn't help 
 matters any. She would be okay if she had to spend the night in the woods. 
 She just wasn't sure Harm would be okay. She was more worried about him and 
 how he would react than her own situation.
 
 She slowly walked along, looking around for anything that would tell her she 
 was going in the right direction. Suddenly in the mist ahead she saw 
 something. A person walking slowly towards her.
 
 "Harm" she called, from the distance thinking it was him. She ran towards 
 the figure, but as she approached she realized it wasn't Harm. And that it 
 wasn't even a person.  She let out a small cry as she looked at the ghostly 
 person standing in front of her.
 
 From the distance he thought he heard her call his name. "Mac" he called.  
 "Mac, can you hear me?"

"Harm I'm here," she answered, not moving nor taking her eyes from the form in front of 
her.  Harm's voice died away and she stared even harder at the apparition.  "Harm.  
HARM."  She screamed his name once more and then turned to run in the direction of his 
voice, not knowing what she had seen or why, but at that moment pushed it out of her 
mind, consumed with a desire to be out of the now damp dark woods and with Harm.

She found her way back to the river, and gave a small sigh of relief knowing the cabin 
could not be too far.  She was skirting the rocks when she heard Harm's voice once 
again and she looked up to see if she could see him.  In that same instance her foot hit a 
damp spot on a smooth rock and she felt her leg go out from under her.  With a short cry 
of pain her head glanced off the rock and she was still.

It was several minutes later when her senses began to return and she lifted her head 
slowly.  A touch to her forehead confirmed the small gash over a good-sized lump as her 
fingers came away tinged with blood.  "Could this day get any better," she moaned as 
she pulled herself to her feet, and a second later had her answer as her ankle threatened 
to give way.  "You are certifiable."  

She lowered herself to sit on the nearest rock and in frustration she put her head down 
on her arm, willing back useless tears and when she looked up again the human form 
was before her.  "Certifiable," she repeated, rubbing her eyes vigorously.
==============
Goddammit Mac where are you," Harm muttered in total frustration, giving a fallen log a 
sharp kick as he passed.  At this point he was beginning to believe that if she never came 
back to him it was what he deserved, but he had to know she was all right.  Feeling 
himself growing almost hoarse from calling, he nevertheless shouted once again for her.
===============
The mists swirled about her as darkness fell---except that around this mass of almost-
humanity, emanated an eerie glow, and as she watched, the glow extended into the dark 
trees.  She heard Harm shout her name once again, and she responded as loud as she 
could.
==================
Harm thought he could hear her name, but not as if his ears picked it up, but rather as if it 
had been carried to him on the wind or....he rubbed his eyes to be sure of what he was 
seeing.....or on one of the streams of mist for which the Mountains got their name.  All 
about him there was darkness, except for this misty river which seemed to bring him his 
own name  as if it was being sung.

"I'm coming," he shouted.  "I'm coming Sarah," and with that he ran unhesitatingly into 
swirl.
=====================
The mist was thick, pea-soup thick, at first and then as he could hear the sound of the 
river below somewhere it seemed to lighten.  The moon was up full now lighting his way 
even more.  Another quarter mile, and there to his relief was the object of his search, 
standing on a rock by the water.  He pulled up sharply, seeing her in the moonlight 
making him want to stop and appreciate the vision.  When she turned toward the sound 
of his footsteps, he could see trickles of blood on the side of her face and he gasped 
sharply, breaking into a dead run.

"Mac, Mac it's me," he called unnecessarily and she closed her eyes in a silent prayer of 
thankfulness, that he had found her, and that he had not been lost or hurt himself.

"Hi," she said in a very small voice when he reached her.  "Harm I'm sorry about...."  His 
gentle hand to her mouth stopped her almost at once.

"We'll talk later," he whispered.  "Right now I'm just damn glad to see you."  He gave her 
a large but quick hug and then stepped back, holding tightly to her arms.  "You hurt you 
head.  Bad?"

"I slipped and banged it.  No I'm OK," she insisted, pushing his hand away when he 
attempted to check.  "Harm there was..."  She began and when she looked around, she 
realized the mist was gone.  There was only darkness, broken by shafts of moonlight 
piercing the trees.

"Was what?" he frowned, his mind on her injury and getting her back to the cabin.

"Uh nothing," she frowned as well, not at all sure at that point if what she had seen was 
real in the face of her exhaustion and pounding head.

"Never mind anyway," he told her, wrapping his long arm around her back.  "Can you 
walk?  I don't think it's very far.  That is if you still want to come back after your jerk of a 
friend's comment."

She smiled softly and scraped her fingers along his cheek briefly.  "You can't get rid of 
me that easily.  I just over-reacted of course.  You know this has all affected me just like it 
has you, and I think now and then I'm going to blow.  We're both on edge here.  That's 
what this trip is about remember.  And when you accused me of being ready to dump you 
for a new partner, well it just hit me wrong."

"Because of all you've done for me," he said miserably.

"No wrong," she corrected.  "Because of..."  She stopped short.  On the tip of her tongue 
was an admittance of how distraught she had been that night to think that he could be 
dead, and how relieved she was when he was found.  More distraught, and more 
relieved, than a partner and friend had a right to be.

"Can we talk later like you said?" she begged.  "Marine in bad need of an aspirin here."

That she was in pain startled him from all thoughts except helping her.  "Of course.  
Should I carry you?"

"As lovely as that sounds, I'm afraid you'll drop me," she teased.  "You may however, 
comfort me any way you see fit once we get back."

"Count on that," he replied firmly, pulling her close and starting toward the cabin, the 
phenomenon of the mist forgotten for the moment.


  
 
 She was leaning heavily against him as they neared the cabin and he quickly 
 helped her inside and down on the bed.
 
 "You okay?" he asked as she leaned back against the pillows, her eyes 
 closing against the pain in her head.
 
 "Yeah, just tired and in need of some aspirin" she assured him.
 
 "I'll be right back with the aspirin and then I'm going to take a look at 
 that cut"
 
 He returned a few minutes later and she quickly downed the aspirin. "Okay, 
 let's get that cleaned up" Harm said as he sat down on the side of the bed 
 with the wet towel. He gently wiped away the dried blood before carefully 
 inspecting the gash.
 
 "Am I going to live?" she teased as she watched his anxious face.
 
 "Not funny Marine" he said as he reached for the first aid kit. "But it 
 doesn't look like it needs stitches. I'm going to clean it out though and 
 this may hurt a little." He gently dabbed some of the antiseptic cream on 
 the gash and she bit down on her lip to avoid crying out. "Sorry" he 
 whispered as he finished cleaning it before bandaging it. "All set."
 
 "Thank you" she sighed as she leaned back against the pillows again.
 
 "You rest and I'll make us some dinner" Harm said softly. "I'm sure you have 
 to be starving by now."
 
 "I am," she admitted. "Harm, I'm really sorry about all this."
 
 "Well if you wanted to scare me to death it worked" Harm teased, relaxing 
 just a little now that she was safe with him again. "I was afraid I'd lost 
 you out there in the mist."
 
 She studied him carefully as she debated whether or not to tell him about 
 what she thought she'd seen.
 
 "Mac, you okay?" he asked worriedly. "You're zoning on me."
 
 "I'm okay" she assured him with a small smile before plunging ahead. "Harm, 
 when I was out there, I thought…" she paused and took a deep breath…"I 
 thought I saw something. A person. Only I'm not sure they were real."
 
 "Okay, slow down and start over" Harm said as he shook his head. "What do 
 you mean you saw a person but you're not sure they were real. You mean a 
 ghost?"
 
 "You don't believe me do you?" Mac said automatically, the look of disbelief 
 apparent on his face. "Never mind, I shouldn't have mentioned anything."
 
 "Mac, I didn't say I didn't believe you. You just took me by surprise. Why 
 don't you tell me more about this ghost."
 
 "I saw him and at first I thought it was you. The mist was rolling in and it 
 was hard to see at first and then I realized it wasn't you."
 
 "He. Your ghost was a he. Was he a tall, dark and handsome?" Harm teased.
 
 "Stop it" Mac said sharply. "I should have known better than to try and tell 
 you about this. Never mind."
 
 "Mac, come on. Think about how this sounds. Besides, you probably imagined 
 it after you hit your head."
 
 "I saw him before I hit my head" Mac said irritably. "It was almost like he 
 was trying to direct me to you. Right after I saw him I heard you calling 
 me."
 
 "Well if he helped me find you then I'll have to remember to thank him next 
 time we see him" Harm joked.
 
 "Harm" Mac wailed.
 
 "Okay, I'm sorry" Harm smiled. "I won't tease you about your ghost anymore."
 
 "I'm glad you find this so humorous" Mac sighed. "Weren't you supposed to be 
 making dinner or something like that."
 
 "Well I really am glad he helped me find you" Harm said seriously. "I was 
 scared to death that I was going to find you hurt or even worse somewhere 
 out there."
 
 "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that. I really did intend to 
 come back before dark. I just lost my bearings when it got dark and the mist 
 came in."
 
 "I'm just glad you're okay," Harm said as he reached for her hand, giving it 
 a small squeeze. "I really do need you around you know."
 
 "As do I" she said softly.
 
 "I'd better got see about dinner" he said as he stood up. "You rest for a 
 while."
 
 There was no more mention of the spooky specter over dinner and once they 
 had eaten and cleaned up Harm led Mac back to the bed.
 
 "You look like you're asleep on your feet Marine" Harm fretted as he helped 
 her into bed.
 
 "You're joining me right?" Mac asked tiredly.
 
 "Is that okay with you?" he asked sheepishly.
 
 "More than okay. Now move that cute little six of yours into this bed."
 
 "You just want me around in case your ghostly buddy comes back."
 
 "No, I want both of us to get a good nights sleep" she corrected. "We've 
 both had a long day."
 
 "I'll agree with you on that" he sighed as he slid into bed next to her. She 
 immediately moved herself so that her head was resting against his shoulder 
 and he wrapped his arms around her. "Night Mac."
 
 "Night Harm."
 
 ***************************
 It was the lack of his warm body next to her that pulled her awake the next 
 morning. She rolled over and forced her eyes open, realizing that he wasn't 
 in the bed with her anymore. The small cabin was empty and with a small 
 groan she pushed herself out of bed. Her ankle was sore from the prior 
 nights fall and she walked gingerly across the cabin on it.
 
 "Harm" she called as she stepped outside to the porch.
 
 "Hey, what are you doing up already?" Harm asked as he quickly got out of 
 the rocking chair and helped her over to it.
 
 "I got cold" she smiled. "How long have you been up? And why didn't you wake 
 me?"
 
 "I've been up for an hour or so. And you needed your rest. Besides, I'm just 
 out here doing a little thinking."
 
 "About what?" she prodded.
 
 "Oh, just things" he smiled. "You ready for some breakfast?"
 
 "Hey, you're not supposed to keep things to yourself, you know" Mac said 
 gently. "You want to share something with the group?"
 
 "Not yet" he said quietly. "I'll let you know though when I'm ready."
 
 "Okay, anytime you want to talk, you know I'm here."
 
  "We're in forced confinement for about forty more hours," he grinned, "and this Sailor is 
not unhappy about that."
  
"Nor is this Marine," she assured him, allowing her self to be enveloped in the warmth of 
his gentle embrace, the old double rocker groaning slightly under their combined weight.  
"As nice as this is, my stomach is remembering you mentioned breakfast."

"Thank you for last night," he said softly as he helped her up.  "You are better for me than 
the most powerful of sleeping pills.  When I did wake up, it was with you keeping me safe 
it seemed like."

"Always," she promised.  "As long as you need--or want me."

"Can you handle forever," he whispered, the words out of his mouth before he could stop 
them.  And once said, he marshaled his courage and looked her square in the eye so she 
would know he was serious.  The Harmon Rabb from Sydney would not be making an 
appearance at this moment.

She met his gaze and bit her lower lip, thinking about what he had just offered and what 
answer she should give in light of what they were still dealing with.  "Sailor I can handle 
anything you can dish out," she finally returned and then with a long breath added, "and 
forever is something that bears talking about."

Their eyes held for a long moment before he rose and helped her to her feet, catching 
her as her ankle gave slightly.  "I want us to drive down to the main office and see if we 
can get your ankle looked at.  Surely they keep sprain wrap there with all the hiking that's 
done around here."

"It's just a little sore but yeah OK," she agreed.  "And what are you making us for 
breakfast kind sir?"

"Whoa I didn't sign on to cook," he protested laughing, walking her inside the small cabin.  
"But I will this time."
===============

"What can I do you folks for?" Thomas Brubaker asked them as soon as he saw the 
couple, the man keeping a protective arm across the woman's back.

"Morning sir," Harm smiled. "My friend turned her ankle a bit last night.  You've got 
something to wrap it in I hope, otherwise I'll take her into Gatlinburg."

"Son I've wrapped more ankles than I care to think on," Brubaker told him, motioning 
them inside the comfortable office.  "I was a medic in 'Nam in fact.  You wouldn't know 
about such things."

"Not first hand no sir," Harm grinned.  "But I am in the Navy, and this pretty lady is a 
Marine Colonel if you can believe that."

"I don't," Brubaker smiled and with Harm's help guided Mac to the nearest chair.  "I was a 
jarhead myself, and the colonels I worked for I guarantee didn't look like you, but I bet 
you've heard that before."

"A few times," she admitted, wincing slightly as he probed her ankle.  

"So how'd this happen?"

"Just walking and slipped on a rock," she answered guardedly.  "Mr. Brubaker, this place 
is called Sleepy Hollow and the 'Net said there was a ghost in the mist.  Is that something 
you...well made up to sell the place to us tourists."

"James Harding is his name," Brubaker smiled as he reached on a shelf for a roll of ace 
bandage, and launching into his oft-told tale.  "Captain, retired from the Navy that 
summer of seventy-one, just completed a year in the Gulf of Tonkin.  So he brought his 
wife here for the summer while they decided where they would end up.  The McNally 
family owned these cabins then.  No matter.  And one night they had a huge fight about 
something, probably something minor, and she stormed out of the place is what he told 
the police."  He paused and tightened the bandage around Mac's ankle, causing her to 
wince.

"And she was never seen again," Harm offered.

"Exactly," Brubaker smiled.  "They combed these woods with dogs and even brought in 
some troops from Ft. Knox to help.  Bloodhounds too.  Nothing.  Now most likely she was 
wandering after dark and fell into the water, and her body was dragged away with the 
current.  Also there was then, and still are, packs of wild dogs that hunt at night in the 
deep woods.  A few wolves even back then.  Or she might have made her way to the 
highway and simply hitched her way to a new life; or been picked up by someone who 
dumped her body when they were finished."

"My god," Harm gasped, tightening his hold of Mac's shoulder.  "I'm not letting you out of 
my sight while we're here."

She laughed and patted his hand, all the while staring in fascination at the story-teller.  
"And what of Captain Harding?"

"He refused to leave.  He was a wealthy man from inheritance, and he stayed on here, 
even through the winters, determined to find her.  And then one night in eighty-six, his 
cabin burned to the ground.  His body was among the ashes.  I had bought the place two 
years before you see.  And since then, people have reported seeing a ghostly presence 
in the mists that rise from the valleys."

"As he searches for his lost love," Harm smiled, giving his voice a ghost-like quality.

"That's the legend," Brubaker agreed.  "So after a few reported sightings, I named re-
named the place Sleepy Hollow after my favorite tale as a kid, and promoted the ghost 
angle.  People come all the time asking to see the ghost of Captain Harding.  You didn't 
read the story on the Internet?"

"No by the time I made the reservation and all--I was going check for the story but I lost 
my connection and just shut down," Mac remembered.  "And then I didn't think much 
about it until what happened last night.  I didn't remember even that there's supposed to 
be a ghost.

"Well there is," Brubaker grinned.  "Did you by chance have an encounter?"

"With mist yes," Harm sighed, "but I'm not going to claim I saw a dead Naval officer in 
that mist."  His eyes rested on Mac who gave him a soft smile.

"And at this point I don't know what I saw, but I could have sworn..." she began.

"Mac you were hurting," Harm pointed out gently.  "Your memory could be screwed up."

"Harm I'm a Marine, a trained investigator and observer," Mac reminded him, her tone not 
as gentle as his.

"Last summer we had a little boy wander away and get lost from the cabin you're staying 
in," Brubaker smiled.  "That night he found his way back to the cabin on his own, said he 
followed the light."

Despite himself, Harm felt a shiver pass down his spine and he rose to his feet, pacing a 
lap around the room.  "Why do I feel like I'm at boy scout camp listening to old Mr. 
Meachem's recycled ghost stories."

"Harm, how did you find me last night?" Mac asked him pointedly, wanting him to open 
his mind to the possibility.



 

 "I…I don't know" Harm admitted. "I got lucky."
 
 "No, I saw the ghost and I yelled thinking it was you."
 
 "And then I heard you call" Harm finished. "Mac, I would have found you 
 anyway. I was heading in the right direction."
 
 She could tell he wasn't going to agree with her and she decided to drop it. 
 When they were alone she'd remind him of the time on the Hornet when the 
 ghost of Lt. had directed them off the burning ship. She had no doubt that 
 the ghost of Captain Harding had helped them find each other last night. 
 Convincing Harm was another matter.
 
 "I'm sure you would have," she said finally as Mr. Brubaker finished 
 wrapping her ankle.
 
 "You're all set missy" he smiled. "Just try not to spend too much time on it 
 today. Give it a chance to heal up a little."
 
 "Thank you" Mac said as Harm helped her to her feet. "And thanks for telling 
 us about Captain Harding."
 
 Harm rolled his eyes but said nothing as he helped her out of the office.  
 He held back his comments until they were in the SUV and on their way back 
 to the cabin.
 
 "Mac, you don't really believe all that do you?" Harm asked. "I mean come 
 on. That's just some story he tells to drum up business I'm sure."
 
 "Harm, I saw something last night. I know you don't believe me but I did. 
 And I know that he's the reason I didn't get lost out there."
 
 "You're a Marine, I would hope you wouldn't get lost" Harm laughed. "Yeah 
 you might have been a little disoriented but you would have found your way 
 back."
 
 "No, he helped me" Mac said shaking her head. "And I don't know why you find 
 this so hard to believe. Weren't you the one who followed the ghost of Lt. 
 around the Hornet? And you told us that he was the one showed you the way 
 out."
 
 "That was different"
 
 "How?" Mac with growing exasperation. "Seems the same to me. Except that 
 since I witnessed the ghost he's not real."
 
 "Mac, I'm just saying that this is a legend that Mr. Brubaker has made up to 
 get people to visit. The ghosts on the Hornet have been documented by other 
 people besides me."
 
 "Okay, never mind" Mac sighed. "Let's drop it. We came up here to relax this 
 weekend not argue."
 
 They spent the day close to the cabin, Harm wanting Mac to stay off her 
 ankle as much as possible. Mac made no more mention of the ghostly presence 
 and she and Harm seemed to have forgotten the whole thing by evening. She 
 tried to, but her mind just wouldn't put it to rest. It was like he had 
 sought her out for a reason. To warn her about something.
 
 "Hey you okay?" Harm asked later. She'd been quiet most of the day and he 
 wasn't sure if she was still hurting from last night or if she was still 
 upset about his comments earlier. "That ankle bothering you?"
 
 "A little" she admitted as she sank down on the couch. "More tired than 
 anything."
 
 "And irritated at me" Harm asked sheepishly as he sat down next to her.
 
 "Maybe" she said with a small smile.
 
 "If I said I'm sorry would it help?" A pleading pair of green eyes looked at 
 her and the small Flyboy grin began to melt her heart.
 
 "I'm not mad at you" Mac sighed as she dropped her head against his 
 shoulder. "Just a little out of sorts I guess. I can't seem to put Captain 
 Harding out of my mind. I just have this feeling…" She stopped and turned 
 away.
 
 "What kind of feeling? Harm prodded. "Mac, come on. I promise I'm not going 
 to laugh or make any more jokes. Tell me what kind of feeling."
 
 "Never mind, I'm being silly" she said as she pushed the thoughts away. 
 "It's nothing really."
 
 But the feeling stayed with her the rest of the evening and as she stood on 
 the porch later watching the mist roll in again she shivered despite the 
 warmth.
 
 "Mac, you want to tell me what's bugging you?" Harm asked again. "I'm 
 worried about you."
 
 "I'm okay," she said as she gave him a small smile. He gently led her to the 
 rocking chair, sitting down first before pulling her onto his lap. She 
 leaned against him and closed her eyes, enjoying the comfort of his arms.
 
 "As long as you're being straight with me Marine" Harm said softly. "I know 
 dealing with me these past few weeks hasn't been a picnic. You deserve a 
 medal for this duty. And I'm willing to return the favor. I owe you more 
 than I can ever pay back in this lifetime."
 
 "I have my payback" she reminded him as she opened her eyes and turned 
 slightly to face him.  "I still have you with me. That's all that matters. 
 If I'd lost you…" She stopped, shivering as a strange sensation passed over 
 her.
 
 "Hey, you didn't lose me" Harm said softly as he wrapped his arms around her 
 tighter. "I'm here with you now and right now I can't think of anywhere else 
 I'd rather be than with you."
 
 "Me neither" she said as she buried her head against his shoulder.
 
 She stayed in his arms, drifting to sleep. He continued to rock her long 
 after he could tell she was asleep, enjoying the peace and solitude. And 
 holding her. There was something about having her in his arms that provided 
 a sense of calm. He finally lifted her and carried her into the cabin, 
 gently tucking her into bed.
 
 "Harm" she murmured when she felt him pull away.
 
 "I'll be right there" he whispered, his hand gently caressing her hair. "Get 
 some rest. I'll be there shortly."
 
 He climbed into bed beside her a short time later, and she instantly 
 snuggled closer to him. "Missed you" she mumbled sleepily.
 
 "I'm here ninja-girl" he said softly as he pulled the blanket over them. 
 "Pleasant dreams" he whispered as he kissed her forehead.
 
 *******************
 Water. All around him was water. The waves battering him as he tried to 
 reach for his life raft. Every time he thought he could reach it, another 
 wave pushed it further away.  He reached again, a huge wave crashing down 
 upon him and he pushing him under the water. He struggled to reach the 
 surface, his mind thinking only one thing. That he had to get to her. He had 
 to tell her.
 
 "Mac" His scream of her name pierced the night and he sat up in bed, his 
 heart pounding as he waited for her comforting arms to soothe him. "Mac"
 
 His heart only raced more as he realized she wasn't in the bed with him. A 
 quick glance around the small cabin told him she wasn’t inside and he 
 quickly headed out to the porch.
 
 "Mac" he cried as he went outside. "Mac"

The night was a carbon of the one previous, the moonlight shining through the trees, 
bathing the distant mountain peak in white light.  There were patches of the mist all 
around, and then the glowing from before, glowing from down near the water.  He started 
in that direction, calling her name softly.  At the same time a distant howling set his 
nerves on end as the voice of Mr. Brubaker played in his head.  "Packs of wild dogs that 
hunt at night."

"Maaaaac."  His scream echoed in the valley and it seemed to start the dogs on another 
round.

She heard his voice, and heard the dogs.  And saw....saw the bright mist, and from that 
mist strode the figure of Captain James Harding.  Coming closer, closer to her, his arms 
reaching toward her.

"Maaaac.  Where are you?"

"Sarah Rabb."

Mac stared harder at the apparition.  It was speaking, though not in words.  Still she could 
tell what it was saying.  Her name.  "Sarah Catherine Mackenzie Rabb".  It knew her full 
name—or at least the name it attributed to her.  "Harmon David Rabb Junior".  And the 
name of the man with whom she was....  She shook away that thought as being out of its 
time and looked intently again.  "Take care of him Sarah.  Take care of Harmon.  There is 
much trial ahead for him yet.

"Mac please for godsake answer me."

"Go to him.  Go and hold him close to your heart.  Wind and surf will attempt to take him 
from you.  What was before will be re-visited.  The risk is great--but the reward will be 
greater."  

The figure vanished, only to be replaced by the snarling visage of a large dog, yellow 
eyes glowing in the moonlight.  As she watched in fascination, three more appeared 
behind it, their teeth bared.

"Haaaarmmm."  A scream.  Her scream.  High pitched and terrified.

"Maaaaaaac," came his immediate answer, and as he looked around, the mist once 
again seemed to illuminate a trail, again down to the water.

She stared at the dogs, not moving, knowing if she ran she would give them what they 
wanted--a victim to chase down.  At the same time her hand closed on a softball size 
rock and she lifted it experimentally.  

Another scream of Harm's name and she got to her feet, seeing the dogs starting to fan 
out and circle her.  "GO," she screamed as loud as she could.  At the same time she 
reared back and let the rock fly.  With deadly accuracy it hit the lead dog between the 
eyes and he gave a startled howl of pain, then turned tail and ran.  The other dogs 
quickly followed suit. 

Mac sank back down on the rock, panting hard from the fright she had experienced.  She 
heard him call for her once again and she called back, her voice now hoarse from the 
shouting.  Getting slowly to her feet, she looked around for Harding, seeing nothing at all, 
not even the mist.

"Harm I'm down here," she sighed, knowing she was not nearly loud enough for him to 
hear but nevertheless making the effort.

She started slowly back up the trail to the cabin, hearing his heavy footsteps approaching 
her.

"Harm I'm here," she repeated, making an effort to increase her speed up the trail.  

"Mac thank God," he breathed as soon as he caught sight of her and wasted no time in 
gathering her into a large relieved embrace.  "What in god's name are you doing out 
here?"

She gave him a blank look and trembled against him.  "Something made me come.  I was 
being called.  Captain Harding---he had something to tell me."

Harm's eyes opened wide and he was about to question her further when he realized she 
was shaking from the cold, and judging by the look in her eyes from something else.  
Fright?  

"Never mind any of that now.  Let's get you inside and warmed up."

"Harm I have to tell you something," she protested, pulling back.  

"No not now," he ordered gruffly. "Not out here.  When you're warm and calm, then I'll 
listen to anything you have to say."

She nodded and let herself be escorted back into the cabin, making no objection when he 
sat her on the bed and wrapped her tightly in the well-worn quilt, then went to put on 
some water for tea.

"I saw Captain Harding," she spoke up suddenly when her teeth had stopped chattering.

"OK," he answered guardedly.  "By the water again?"

"Yeah.  He said you..." she began and stopped, feeling her throat close as she 
remembered that terrifying night they were told he was missing.  "He told me what 
happened before would happen again," she finally choked out.

"What?  What happened before to me?"  He frowned in puzzlement and then realization 
dawned.  "When I punched out?  Hey not likely.  It will be a long time--if ever--before I'm 
up in a Tomcat again.  I'm not sure I'd be approved to even take the physical at this point, 
not with a shrink...but that doesn't even matter."  He paused and brought her the tea, 
pressing her still-cold hands around the warm mug.  "Drink."  

He waited until she had taken several sips of the warm liquid.  "OK now?"

"Yes, but Harm, he told me to take care of you.  To watch over my sailor.  He said you..."

"Mac I am not going to be flying through a storm again, of that you can be sure," he told 
her firmly, holding her free hand between both of us.  "You're getting upset over nothing.  
And I do mean nothing. You were dreaming or sleepwalking.  Maybe the noise from the 
dogs got to you."

"Dogs," she yelped, jumping so much her tea sloshed.  "I saw them.  You heard them 
didn't you?"

"Yeah off in the distance I did," he admitted.  "Sounded like they were hunting."

"They were right in front of me," she breathed.  "First Captain Harding, and then he kind 
of vanished and the dogs were there.  And I was terrified Harm, more terrified than I've 
ever been in my life I think--well maybe with the exception of the night when I thought you 
could be...."

"Mac there was nothing out there for you to be afraid of.  I heard the dogs-once-and they 
were miles from here.  And as for your ghostly Captain.  That he could talk to you is 
ludicrous.  You were having some kind of vivid nightmare.  Which I'm not surprised.  Hell 
I've put you through enough in the past weeks that I'm amazed you've held it together this 
long.  And I hate that I have.  That's not how I wanted our relationship to go after I..."

He left the thought unfinished as her face clouded over with indignation.  "I was not 
dreaming, hallucinating or sleep walking Mr. Rabb.  I know what I saw.  Captain Harding 
was as plain to me as you are.  And the dogs were there right after him.  I only just did 
manage to scare the leader off and then the others ran."  Her voice was getting more 
high pitched and agitation increasing.

With that in mind he took the cup from her and despite her glare, helped her to lay down.  
"We can talk about this in the morning, but I'm betting you wake up and realize it was all 
just some kind of nightmare, just like the ones I had at camp after listening to old Mr. 
Meachem.  Please sleep some more.  Neither of us are getting enough rest, and I'm 
worried about you.  Worried that I'm stressing you into a nervous breakdown."

"I can handle anything you've got Flyboy--I've told you that before," she reminded him, 
though at that moment, having him tucking her in felt awfully good.

"Well right now it's me taking care of you," he reminded her.  "Sleep now."

"We can talk more in the morning?"

"All you want," he promised, holding her close until she was asleep.
===================
The sun was high in the sky when he awoke, though she slept on, obviously in 
exhaustion.  For a long time he watched her sleep, his mind on the events of last night.  
Finally he threw on his jeans and slipped on a shirt, stepping out into the fresh air.

He drew in a lungful of the wonderful mountain air, and as he did so his eyes fell on the 
path they had traversed the night before.  He could hear the water below and he started 
down, hoping to get some kind of clue as to what Mac had seen.  The path ended 
abruptly at the water's edge and he sat down on a large rock, seeing nothing out of the 
ordinary.  

Nothing until he looked to the dirt nearby, continually dampened by the spray that passed 
over the rocks.  Prints...paw prints, scattered among the rocks.  A cold shudder went 
through him as he stared.  He had nearly lost her last night, nearly lost her to a pack of 
dogs, and had not even done her the courtesy of taking her fear seriously.
 

 "You are such a jerk Rabb" he whispered. With that thought he hurried back 
 to the cabin, finding her just beginning to stir.
 
 "Harm" she murmured as she looked around sleepily for him.
 
 "Right here" he said softly as he slid into bed beside her, and she curled 
 up beside him again. "How you doing? You finally got some much needed 
 sleep."
 
 "Until you left" she said as she opened her eyes and looking up at him. 
 "Where did you go?"
 
 "For a walk. And I owe you a huge apology for the way I acted last night. 
 Why you put up with me I'll never know. "
 
 "I put up with you cause I happen to care about you very much" Mac said 
 softly. "So what's with the huge apology?"
 
 "I went down to the water and I saw the paw prints from the dogs" he said 
 quietly. "Mac, I was a total jerk last night for not believing you. They 
 could have killed you last night and I didn't even listen to what you were 
 saying. I'm sorry."
 
 "Apology accepted. But what about the rest of what happened last night?"
 
 "You mean the warning from Captain Harding?" Harm asked and she nodded. "I 
 don't know," he said finally. "I mean it's just so far fetched."
 
 "He called me Sarah Rabb," she said suddenly, her mind replaying the 
 incident.
 
 "Sounds a lot better than Sarah Brumby" Harm teased, not wanting her to know 
 just how good that did sound. "Maybe he was looking for Grams."
 
 Mac shook her head. "No Harm, he was telling me about you. And what was 
 going to happen." Her voice trembled and she shuddered at the thought of 
 anything like that happening again. It had been the most horrible hours of 
 her life, something she wasn't sure she could make it through again.
 
 "Hey, it's okay" he said gently as he pulled her closer. "Nothing is going 
 to happen. Remember what I told you last night. I'm not going to be flying 
 any time soon. There's no reason for you to be worried. And I still believe 
 you dreamed Captain Harding. Mr. Brubaker's little story just got stuck in 
 your mind."
 
 "I hope that's the case. You've given me plenty to worry about in the past 
 sailor" she whispered as she buried her head against his shoulder.
 
 "Sorry. But that's over. I'm sure it wasn’t any easier for you than it was 
 for me. But it's over and we both need to get past it."
 
 "I know" Mac sighed. "And hopefully that will happen soon. And I'm sorry if 
 I suddenly seem to be coming apart on you."
 
 "You've done a lot for me Mac" Harm said seriously. "I wouldn't be where I 
 am if you hadn't stuck with me through all this. I know I'd be at that 
 padded cell at Bethesda. I just don’t want you to end up there because of 
 me."
 
 "We could share that padded cell" Mac teased, letting things go for the 
 moment. They'd come up here for a relaxing weekend and she wanted them to 
 enjoy some of the time together.  "The Admiral's been wanting to arrange 
 that for both of us for years now."
 
 "Cute Marine" Harm grinned, glad too that they were dropping the serious 
 subject. "Now what do you say I make you some breakfast and then we do a 
 little more hiking before we head back home later?"
 
 The afternoon passed quietly, and they enjoyed a picnic lunch on a blanket 
 next to the river before returning to the cabin to pack their belongings.
 
 "Tell me this weekend helped" Mac said as they loaded the SUV.  "I mean, I 
 don't want Captain Taylor to think I'm making you worse."
 
 "Yeah right" he scoffed. "And yes it helped. And I don't want you to think 
 anymore about Captain Harding and his supposed warning. You've been under a 
 lot of stress thanks to me. Maybe you should have taken a weekend away 
 without me."
 
 "I preferred being with you" she smiled. "I missed our friendship those two 
 years."
 
 "So did I" Harm admitted as he turned and looked at her. "More than I ever 
 wanted to admit. We had a really good thing back then."
 
 "And we have it again. Don't we?"
 
 "Yes we do" For a moment time seemed to stand still and they stood there 
 staring deep into each other's eyes, seeing again the depths of caring they 
 had for each other. "You are very important to me Sarah Mackenzie" he 
 whispered. "More than you will ever know."
 
 "Getting sappy on me Commander" Mac said softly. "I never knew this side of 
 you existed."
 
 "It didn't before. But when you almost check of this world you tend to 
 realize what's important and what's not. And you are one of those important 
 things."
 
 "As are you to me. And having almost lost you, I made a promise to never 
 take you for granted again. Or our friendship."
 
 "Neither will I" he promised. "You ready to head home Marine?"
 
 It was almost dark when he pulled up in front of her apartment building. She 
 had fallen asleep just before DC and he hated to wake her. He had just 
 decided to carry her up when she finally stirred.
 
 "We're home already?" she asked tiredly as she looked around. "Sorry, I 
 guess I fell asleep on you."
 
 "It's okay" he assured her.  "I'll get your stuff and help you up."
 
 "You're staying right?"
 
 "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to. I thought you might want a break. And I 
 can go back to my place. I'm sure they've fixed things up by now."
 
 "I'll let you know when I get sick of having you around. But in the mean 
 time move that six upstairs mister."
 
 "Yes ma'am" he smiled.
 
 JAG HQ's
 08:00 AM
 
 "Commander, Colonel, how was the weekend?" AJ asked as they strode across 
 the bullpen the next morning.
 
 "Good sir" Harm replied as he and Mac made their way into their offices.
 
 "Well I hope you didn't unpack your bags" AJ said as he stepped into Harm's 
 office. "I need your expertise. There was an incident at Pensacola this 
 weekend involving a tomcat. Very similar to what happened to you. The pilot 
 and RIO both managed to escape without serious injury but the loss of 
 another plane isn't making the SecNav happy."
 
 "No of course not sir" Harm replied, the feeling of dread already taking 
 over him. The last thing he wanted to do was investigate the crash of 
 another tomcat. Not when his own was still vivid in his mind. And in his 
 nightmares.  "I assume you want me down there ASAP."
 
 "Yes. That's not a problem is it? If you think you can't handle it, I'll 
 understand."
 
 "No, I'm fine" Harm assured him, hoping he was more believable than he 
 sounded to himself.
 
 "Lt. Roberts is available to go with you" AJ continued. "And there's a 
 transport leaving Andrews in a couple hours you can be on."
 
 "Uh, sir, if it's not too much to ask, I'd prefer if Mac went with me."
 
 "You don't think Lt. Roberts is capable of handling this with you?"
 
 "No sir, it's not that. But Mac and I have handled more of these cases 
 together than I have with Bud and I just would feel more comfortable having 
 her with me."
 
 AJ studied his officer carefully before speaking again. "Okay, Mac can go 
 with you. I can give Bud the Masters case I was going to assign to her."
 
 "Thank you sir" He somehow managed to hold his sigh of relief until AJ had 
 left his office, dropping down into his chair just as Mac walked in.
 
 "Hey what's up?" she asked. "I saw the Admiral in here."
 
 "We're going to Pensacola," he said quietly. "To investigate a tomcat 
 crash."
 
 She drew her breath in sharply and her hand went to cover his at once.  "Oh Harm I....I 
wish we weren't.  Are you going to be OK with it?"

"When he was talking about sending Bud instead of you, no, I was anything but OK.  But 
when he agreed that you could come, then I think I can manage.  It's just not something I 
envisioned myself dealing with.  Especially if his crash has anything to do with mine.  
Mattoni is certainly not forthcoming with any information."

"I know," she sighed sympathetically, "but that doesn't surprise you.  You know you're 
going to have to answer a panel's questions when it all comes out in the wash."

"Another part of my future I'm really looking forward to," he muttered.  "God why didn't I 
just tell them to forget quals and come to your wedding like I should have.  Stupid stupid 
stupid."

"If you had come to my wedding like an ordinary guest, I would have gotten married."

"No," he barked sharply, so much so that she was startled.

"Sorry," he whispered sheepishly. "I wouldn't have..."  The phone stopped him and he 
glared at it before picking it up.  "Commander Rabb.  OK thanks.  I'll be right there."

"You were saying?"

"Huh?"

"Something you wouldn't have," she prompted, to which he gave her a blank look.

"I don't know.  Lost that train of thought I guess.  And now Singer has the research on the 
Oldham case so I'm heading there.  So I guess we're out of here this afternoon.  At least I 
assume Tiner is making flight..."  A look of mild panic crossed his features.

"Harm we do have to fly there," she reminded him.  "Unless we tell the Admiral..."

"No."  That sharp reply again.  "As long as I have you beside me, I can get through 
anything.  Even that."

"Well you've got me as long as you need me--as long as you want me," she assured him.  
"I'm still remembering that talk of forever you know."

"And don't you forget it," he grinned. "OK, let me go see what Singer has for me."  She 
released his hand and trailed her fingers up his arm gently before she left him.  She was 
there for him.  For the duration.
===========================
REAGAN NATIONAL AIRPORT
7PM

"Harm please, please come sit down," Mac begged, a strong hand on his shoulder to 
emphasize her words.  He was standing at the huge window, staring at the their plane. 
That the flight had been delayed by a mechanical malfunction had done nothing to 
increase his confidence, and that a low storm cloud was on the horizon was not making 
him feel any better.  "Hey the worst that can happen is we'll have to pack it in for tonight 
and go in the morning."

"No the worst that can happen is we'll attempt it and fail," he replied, remembering at 
least to keep his voice down.

"Harmon Rabb you've a greater chance of being struck by lightning than of this plane 
crashing," she scolded, and by his face knew a second later she had said exactly the 
wrong thing.  "I'm sorry," she whispered at once.  "Bad analogy.  But you now this craft is 
perfectly safe."

Before he could answer boarding and its accompanying apology for the delay was 
announced.  His hand closed around hers at once.  "In case you get scared," he teased, 
trying his best to make light of his own reticence.

"Well whatever excuse you want to use, I do like my hand in yours," she said softly, 
leading him away from the window and toward the jetway.

"Wish I'd stopped at the bar," he groaned as they sat and he fastened his seatbelt, giving 
it three tugs before she pulled his hand away. 

"Stop that before you cut off the circulation to something vital.  And if you sit back and 
close your eyes, and remember how much I lo...uh care about you, we'll be there.  And 
then tonight in the hotel, you can have a Mackenzie special back rub."

"I'm gonna dream about it," he sighed and closed his eyes, his hand still wrapped around 
hers.  He kept his eyes closed as the aircraft pushed back from the gate and taxied 
smoothly out.  It was only when it picked up speed for take off did he cringe and squeeze 
her hand.  "Tell me when we've leveled off," he begged.

"Harm no, open your eyes and look out," she insisted, knowing that gaining altitude with 
one's eyes closed is disorienting at best.  "Open those big green eyes mister," she 
coaxed and felt him jump.  It was then she realized she had struck a chord, for it was 
those very words she had used when he was...

"When do they pass out the parachutes," he teased, and with a long calming breath, 
seemed to relax.  He resolutely turned from the window to face her, sitting halfway 
sideways in his seat.  "You doing OK?" he asked suddenly, his free hand touching her 
cheek.

"Yeah I am," she smiled, shaking off the memory her admonishment to him had evoked.  
"Your first flight since...and you're doing pretty well there Sailor.  Would you like me to 
see if they can arrange a visit to the cockpit and you can get a set of plastic wings?"

"That's about the only kind I'm going to have when this is done," he sighed.

"Stop that," she scolded and touched her finger to the wings on his chest.  "Yep, they've 
still got it."

"You told me they were over-rated," he laughed, glad of the banter to distract him.

"I lied," she grinned, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, what else have you been lying about?" he demanded, and when she did not 
reply, he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"We have to land."  His words startled her awake and she looked up to find him staring 
into the now darkness, his free hand gripping the armrest so hard his knuckle was white.  

She was about to answer when the captain announced they were making descent into 
Pensacola and she nodded in agreement.  "Yeah we're landing.  Thankfully.  I'm more 
than ready to get out of this seat.  In fact I'm thinking a run would be good before bed."


"We have to come down through the dark," he whispered, pointing outside the window.

"And that's why the plane has headlights," she joked, squeezing his hand.  "We'll be fine."

"Promise?"  His tone was serious, but at her calmness a small smile was playing at the 
corner of his mouth.  When she nodded he went on, "remember earlier you said I was to 
remember how much you...well you know.  I'm doing that again now."

"Good plan Sailor," she grinned and reached for his other hand.  "Tray table upright, seat 
back?  I guess we're going to do it."
 
 "Just don't let go" he whispered, his hand holding onto her hand tightly.
 
 "Right here and not letting go" Mac assured him. "We'll be on the ground 
 before you know it."
 
 "Not soon enough" he said anxiously, trying to avoid looking out the window 
 as the plane began to descend. His grip on her hand tightened and by the 
 time the plane came to a stop Mac was wincing in pain.
 
 "Okay, we're stopped now" Mac said between clenched teeth. "Harm, you can 
 let go."
 
 For a moment he didn't move, seemingly frozen in the seat next to her. 
 Finally he looked down at his hand and hers and immediately let go of it.
  
 "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
 
 "It's okay Flyboy" she smiled as she shook her hand to get the blood flowing 
 in it again. "And see we're here and everything is fine."
 
 "Thank god" he murmured. "I'm not sure what I would have done if you weren't 
 here."
 
 "How did you handle the transport to the Henry?" Mac asked as they waited 
 for the other passengers.
 
 "I don't know" Harm sighed. "I was a total wreck when I got off. It's a good 
 thing Skates was the one sent out to meet me."
 
 "Well it's a good thing I was here" Mac smiled. "I'm just glad you were able 
 to convince the Admiral to let me come with you instead of Bud."
 
 "Me too" he said as they stood up.
 
 A short time later they were on their way to NAS Pensacola, Mac handling the 
 driving.
 
 "Dinner at the O club before we get our rooms?" Mac asked as they neared the 
 naval air station. "I'm starving."
 
 "Rooms?" Harm asked. He hadn't even considered the thought that they would 
 be sleeping in separate rooms. He'd grown very accustomed to having her 
 nearby and the idea that he would be alone in the room wasn't making him 
 feel any better.
 
 "Well, I'm not sure how well it would go over if you and I shared a room" 
 Mac said slowly. "Course we could always get separate rooms and I could just 
 join you later. I'm sure there's no one monitoring the halls at night."
 
 "Mac, I hate making you do all this" Harm sighed. "You're lying to the 
 Admiral about me and now you want to sneak into my room."
 
 "You could sneak into mine" Mac teased. "Harm, it's okay. I'm sure no one 
 will notice. We'll just have to be careful that's all. And I have no problem 
 doing this. Truth is, I've gotten pretty used to you being around at night 
 anyway."
 
 "Well so have I" Harm said with a weak smile. "And I'm afraid if I'm alone 
 I'll do one of those freak sessions and the whole place will know that 
 Harmon Rabb has lost it."
 
 "Hey, you're being way to hard on yourself again" Mac chided him. "Harm, I'm 
 sure that anyone who's been through what you have has moments like you do. 
 It's too be expected."
 
 "You may think so but I'm not sure everyone else would" he sighed again. 
 "Anyway, I thank you immensely for volunteering to come hold my hand at 
 night."
 
 "You're holding my hand as well" Mac smiled softly.
 
 They headed straight to the O club and as they walked to the building the 
 thundering sound of a tomcat made Harm stop and look up into the sky to see 
 the afterburners as the jet passed overhead. A million thoughts ran through 
 his head as he watched it and it wasn't until Mac shook his arm that he 
 realized she was talking to him.
 
 "Hey, you still with me Flyboy?" she asked, the concern evident in her 
 voice. "Harm?"
 
 "Yeah, sure" he said but his gaze still remained up in the sky until he 
 could no longer see anything. "Sorry, I guess I was just drifting there for 
 a moment."
 
 "Well can we drift on in and get some food?" Mac said as she tucked his arm 
 again. "Hungry Marine."
 
 "Can't have that now can we?" Harm said with a small smile.
 
 After dinner they headed to the BOQ, each securing their own rooms.
 
 "I'm one floor below you" Mac informed him as they headed out to the car to 
 get their bags. "We'll get settled and then I'll come up to your room."
 
 "Why do I suddenly feel like I'm back at the Academy trying to sneak my 
 girlfriend in for the night?" Harm sighed.
 
 "Did you do that?" Mac grinned.
 
 "No. Keeter always did though. And somehow he never managed to get caught."
 
 "Harm, we're not doing anything wrong here." She opened her overnight bag in 
 the trunk and quickly pulled out the shorts and t-shirt she had planned on 
 sleeping in and stuffed them into Harm's bag. He watched her with a look of 
 amazement and she quickly closed up both their bags and handed him his.
 "All set."
 
 "You're amazing, you know that" he smiled. "I have no idea what I did to 
 deserve you."
 
 "Me neither" she teased as she closed the trunk. "I'll be up shortly to 
 review the information we have. And of course no one will notice that I 
 didn't leave your room."
 
 He nodded and they walked to their respective rooms. Mac dropped her 
 remaining stuff in the room before heading up to Harm's room with her laptop 
 and briefcase.
 
 "Hey, long time no see" he smiled as he let her into his room. "Did anyone 
 see you?"
 
 "Nope" she said as he closed the door. "Coast was clear. And now we can both 
 go to bed and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."
 
 "That's for sure" Harm sighed. "I'm really not looking forward to this you 
 know."
 
 "I know and that's why I'm here" Mac said softly as she reached for his 
 hand. "Because I know you're not ready for this. And I wish you would have 
 been honest with the Admiral."
 
 "And tell him that I'm still having problems dealing with what happened. No 
 way."
 
 "Why? Why is it so hard to admit that this has affected you?"
 
 "Because I should have been able to deal with it Mac" he sighed as he sank 
 down on the bed.
 
 "You're doing it again" she chided him. "This is exactly why you shouldn't 
 be here. You're still dealing with your own crash and you're not ready to 
 deal with someone else's."
 
 "I can if you're there to help me through it" he whispered. "Mac, we're here 
 now. We can't go back and tell the Admiral I can't handle this. We just have 
 to get through it."
 
 "Okay sailor" she sighed as she sat down beside him on the bed. "We'll do 
 this your way. But if I think this is too much for you I will call the 
 Admiral. I'm not going to let you drive yourself crazy down here. I happen 
 to care about you very much and I won't let that happen."
 
 "Understood mom" he smiled. "You take good care of me. You have no idea how 
 much I appreciate this. One day I promise I will pay you back for all this."
 
 "Don't make promises you can't keep" she teased gently.
 
 "I haven't yet now have I?" Harm whispered. Like the day before, their eyes 
 met again and for a brief moment Mac thought for sure he was going to kiss 
 her as he leaned closer to her. At the last second he suddenly stopped and 
 quickly moved back away from her.
 
 "I think we should go to bed" Mac suggested softly.
 
 "Good idea" he agreed, and watched while she climbed into bed before turning 
 off the lights and joining her. She waited until he was settled before 
 moving closer to him, waiting for him to wrap his arms around her like he 
 had done at the cabin. For a moment he didn’t move before finally relaxing 
 and putting his arms around her.
 
 "Night Harm"
 
 "Night Mac"
 
"Harm is there something wrong?" she asked hesitantly after a few minutes.  "You 
seemed like you weren't sure you wanted to hold me."  

He was silent and she nudged him gently.  "Harm don't shut me out please."

"I'm afraid of what I'm starting to feel," he said flatly in a rare moment of candor.  
"Feelings that I've stuffed away for so long until...until they just seem like they have to 
come out.  And now when you're so close, when I have my arms around you, I can't help 
but want you."

"Is that a sexual want?" she asked, again gently.

"Of course," he replied easily, "I'm a healthy male, and you're a beautiful woman.  But I 
have never with you wanted a romp in the hay.  Don't you see, this is what sets you apart 
from all the other women in my life.  With them they were offering and I was taking, no 
strings, no commitment, just living for the moment."

"And you've never wanted from me?"

"Oh on the contrary, I've wanted from you very badly, many times," he replied, nuzzling 
his lips to her ear.  "And right now it would be so easy to go that route, but with you I 
want..."  He stopped and she waited, the only sound in the room their combined breaths.  
"I want it to be right.  I want it to mean something.  I want it to be...want it to mean..."

She knew he was struggling and she turned so she could rest her chin on his chest.  
"There will be a time when it will be right," she whispered.  "But this is not it, no.  We've 
still got a lot of things to work through.  We can't go on with our future until that's cleared 
up.  And hey, I've already told you--I'm going no where. We've got nothing but time."

"Thank you," he breathed.  "And every day I thank my Maker for you in my life."

"As I do you," she answered.  "Remember I almost found out how it could be without."

"And I nearly found out what it would be like to die without letting you know how important 
you always have been to me," he sighed, helping her to snuggle more to him.  "Sleep.  
Long day tomorrow."
==============================
At 7AM she slipped from his arms, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.  "OK Flyboy, let's 
head for the shower?"

"Yeah go ahead and start the water.  I'll join you in a second," he murmured.

"Not quite," she giggled.  "I'll meet you downstairs so you can buy me breakfast--like my 
men normally do--well at least when there wasn't just one man in my life.  Now move that 
six Mister.  I want to get this investigation on the road. "
================
"Hey Sailor," she called thirty minutes later, spotting him by the front door of the BOQ.  
"Buy a pretty Marine breakfast?"

"I'd love to.  Where could I find one?"  

She laughed softly at his teasing.  "You better not be looking around Flyboy.  I have the 
right of first refusal here."

"Would you?"

"Refuse you?  Not in a million years," she grinned and the grin died as their eyes held 
once again.  

"Mac I..." he began, and as if pre-ordained their lips moved closer.  The door opening 
behind them reminded them all too suddenly they were in public and they both smiled 
sheepishly.  There would be another time, another place.

They ate breakfast, with Harm growing increasingly quiet.  

"OK let's have it," she finally said.  "It's going to bother you to be around these planes 
isn't it."

"Yes, but I'll deal," he sighed.  "And no I don't want to talk about it."  A second later 
realizing how that sounded, he covered her hand with his long fingers.  "Please.  I'm just 
kind of coping internally or something.  Let's go talk to this guy.  What's his name?"

"Martin Carmichael," she smiled, glad to talk about the case for now.  "Lieutenant, date of 
rank 4 Dec. 99.  Call sign Rocket.  God talk about something from Buck Rogers.  
Anyway, not married.  Flyboy good looks, with Flyboy arrogance."

"You're making that up."

"I am not," she objected laughing.  "The file, which you haven't read yet obviously, says 
all that.  His squadron commander, Commander Jacob Weathers, says he's a helluva 
pilot, and can be a major pain in the six.  Good grief, do they cut all you fighter jocks out 
of the same mold or what?"

"Funny," he scowled.  "How old is this whiz kid?"

"Twenty Five.  Want to see his picture?"

"No but you probably have an eight by ten glossy on order."

"You know me too well," she bantered back.  "Ready?"

Lieutenant Martin Paul Carmichael was in fact a stereotypical recruiting poster for flight 
training.  Just slightly shorter than Harm, his dark hair that was barely regulation swept 
across his forehead and deep set brown eyes, he immediately came to attention when 
they approached him and Harm called his name.

"At ease Carmichael," Harm nodded.  "Harmon Rabb, Sarah Mackenzie, JAG corps, and 
as you can guess we're here about your mishap."

"Sir, ma'am," Carmichael nodded.  "I'm afraid there's nothing more to tell except what I 
put in the official report."

"Which is going before the board that's examining your crash, and mine," Harm said 
quietly, "and which we are not privy to right now."

Carmichael snapped his fingers.  "That's where I heard the name.  You're the pilot who 
bailed over the water in the storm.  They didn't find you right away I heard.  Must have 
been rough."

Surreptitiously Mac pressed a hand to his back and Harm nodded.  "It was, but I don't 
remember much of it.  Look let's go talk someplace.  Standing here in this hot hangar is 
not a good way to communicate.  Snack bar, cold drink?"

"Yes sir, no problem," Carmichael nodded, still frowning.  "Let me just tell them where I'm 
going."

Harm scowled at him, watching him walk toward the office, his pilot's swagger in 
evidence.

"Harm?"

"Arrogant SOB."

"Hey you doing a little rush to judgment there aren't you?" she asked softly.  "So far he 
seems like any other pilot we've ever been in contact with."  She paused a beat and 
added lightly, "In fact I'd say he was probably a reincarnation of you."

"Thanks, I needed that," he growled back, but managed a small smile at the same time, 
letting her know he was aware she was teasing.

"All set," Carmichael motioned.  "We can walk across the tarmac faster than taking the 
road around."

"Lead the way Lieutenant."

As they were walking a Tomcat swooped in low over their heads, its engines screaming 
in protest as the pilot hit the thrusters almost immediately as his wheels.  Mac ducked, 
cringing at the noise and nearness and Harm's arm went around her back protectively.  
At the same time he stared in mute fascination at the F 14 until it disappeared into the 
Florida haze.

"One of your group Lieutenant?" Mac asked, slowly straightening up.  "He was cutting 
that a little low wasn't he?"  Her voice was slightly shaky and Harm forced his attention 
away from the vapor trails.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, just startled."

"That would be Storm," Carmichael grinned.  "Doing touch and go's.  Here comes his 
wingman Rabbit."

Harm's arm tightened across her as they watched this new arrival execute the same 
maneuver.

"He's good," Harm smiled, a small amount of envy apparent in his voice.  

"Well not as good as me," the young pilot grinned, "but yeah in a pinch I'd fly with both of 
them.  Sir."  

Mac smiled at that.  She had put it down to arrogance, his lack of ma'am and sir in his 
conversation.  "Ready," she nodded to Harm and he released his hold of her.

They were shortly seated at a table in the back of the almost deserted snack bar, and 
Harm and Mac both took out notebooks.  "Fire ahead Rocket," he ordered, preparing to 
write.


 
 "Like I said there's not much more to tell than what's in the report."
 
 "Why don't you just detail it again for our benefit" Harm prodded.
 
 "Yeah sure, whatever."
 
 For the next half-hour the young pilot explained the events that had 
 unfolded three nights earlier. Both Harm and Mac listened intently, each 
 lost in their own thoughts as Carmichael explained how the tomcat has 
 experienced systems failures leading to him and his RIO punching out over 
 the ocean. Harm listened to young man, amazed at how calm he seemed about 
 everything. It had been over a month since his own crash and he still hadn't 
 been able to talk about everything that had happened.
 
 "That's it" Carmichael said as he finished. "And as soon as this is all 
 squared away I'll be back in the air."
 
 "A little nonchalant about everything aren't you?" Mac questioned.
 
 "With all due respect, ma'am, it's not a big deal" Carmichael smiled. "Your 
 training kicks in and you just do what you got to do. Hell, I'd be up there 
 in the air right now if it weren't for this inquiry BS. I'm sure the 
 Commander here knows what I mean."
 
 "This BS is for your protection" Harm reminded him without answering his 
 question. "And I can tell you that what you just described is pretty much 
 what happened to me."
 
 "Except that you were in the middle of a major storm," Mac added.
 
 "Did you try and ride it out sir?" Carmichael asked. "I didn't pull the 
 ejection handle until I knew there was no way I was going to land that 
 bird."
 
 "Same here" Harm nodded without elaboration.
 
 "I wasn't sure what punching out would be like" Carmichael continued. "But 
 it wasn't bad. And the search and rescue guys were on top of us before we 
 knew it. Guess that wasn't the case with you though."
 
 "No it wasn't" Harm said quietly. He suddenly stood up and to Mac's surprise 
 ended the interview. "Thank you, Lt., I think we're done for right now. 
 We'll check back with you if we have questions later."
 
 "Yeah sure" Carmichael said as he stood up as well. "Ma'am"
 
 Mac nodded as she got up from her chair and followed Harm out of the diner. 
 She waited until they were outside before reaching for Harm's arm.
 
 "Hey, you want to tell me what's going on?" Mac asked. "I didn't think we 
 were finished back there."
 
 "One of us is more than finished" Harm sighed as he stopped and turn to look 
 at her. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle anymore right now."
 
 "I know and I’m sorry" Mac said gently. "I'm sure it's not easy to go over 
 what happened."
 
 "No and its even harder to sit there and listen to this kid act like it was 
 no big deal. And to a point he's right, Mac. You're training is supposed to 
 kick in and you're supposed to be able to deal with it. And I'm not."
 
 "Harm, what happened to you and what happened to him are completely 
 different circumstances. Don't even start comparing yourself to him. What he 
 went through was not even remotely what you went through. He was in the 
 water at best 15 minutes. You were in the middle of ocean for over 11 hours. 
 11 hours Harm. The longest eleven hours of your life and mine." She felt the 
 sting of tears as she said the words and she quickly turned away.
 
 "I know," he said quietly as he put his hand on her back. He wanted to do 
 more but not in the middle of the diner parking lot. "I think we should go 
 back to my room for a while. We'll go over what Carmichael told us and talk 
 to his RIO later."
 
 She nodded and after managing to hold the tears down turned back to look at 
 him. "I'm sorry. Sometimes this is just as hard for me as it is for you. But 
 I don't want you beating yourself up about how you're handling this. And 
 comparing yourself to Mr. Hotshot. Besides the fact that his situation was 
 totally different from yours he's almost 15 year younger and this is the 
 first time he's had any kind of incident like this happen to him. You had 
 the emotional scars from your first crash and now this."
 
 "Well that still doesn't explain why I'm having freak sessions and he's 
 ready to jump right back in the air" Harm sighed.
 
 "Harm, don't" Mac pleaded. "Don't do this to yourself. Otherwise I'm going 
 to call the Admiral and tell him you should be removed from this case."
 
 "Mac, you wouldn't"
 
 "I would because I care about you" Mac said gently. "I would because I don't 
 want this investigation to hurt what progress you've made in getting over 
 your crash."
 
 "What progress would that be?" Harm said quietly. "Mac, it's been over a 
 month since the crash. I still can't even talk about it."
 
 "Give yourself some time" Mac urged. "But I want you to be honest and tell 
 me if this is too much for you."
 
 "Why do you think I ended the interview with Lt. Carmichael?" Harm said with 
 a small smile.
 
 "Okay, enough about all this. We're taking a break and going back to the 
 room for awhile. And then we'll grab lunch and find Mr. Hotshot's RIO." She 
 started to walk away, stopping when she realized he hadn't moved. "Harm."
 
 "Mac, do you think I'll ever get over this?"
 
 "Yes I do," she said softly. "It's going to take time but you will. It won't 
 be tomorrow like it is for Carmichael but it will happen."
 
 "Do you think I'll ever be able to fly again?"
 
 She managed to suppress a shudder at the thought of him in a tomcat again 
 and gave him a small smile instead. "If that's what you want, I see no 
 reason why you can't."
 
 "You have a lot more faith in me than I do" Harm sighed.
 
 "Enough worrying about the future Flyboy," Mac said gently. "Let's just get 
 through each day okay. Starting with today and this investigation."
 
 "Yes ma'am" he said as he gave her a small smile.
 
 They walked back to the BOQ, Harm's attention once again following the 
 tomcats and they flew in and out.
 
 "Do you miss it as much as you did before you went back?" Mac asked quietly.
 
 "No" he said honestly. "Back then I felt as though something had been taken 
 away from me and I needed to prove to myself and everyone else that Harmon 
 Rabb still had it. Course I forgot I was ten years older." He paused and 
 looked up at the sky again. "And to be perfectly honest, I'm much happier 
 being here with you."
 
 "You're not so bad to be around either" Mac teased.
 
 "Do we really have to interview the RIO today?" Harm moaned once they were 
 back in his room.
 
 "I can do it alone if you want" Mac offered as she sat down on the bed and 
 pulled out the file.  "I'll just tell them you're sick."
 
 "As appealing as that sounds I'm not letting you go alone. I'm sure Mr. 
 Hotshot's RIO is just like him."
 
 "Nah, he's tall and blonde" Mac grinned as she opened the file. "With baby 
 blue eyes."
 
 "I'm definitely going with you" Harm said as he reached for the folder and 
 looked at the picture. "Mac."
 
 "Got yah Flyboy" Mac laughed. "Lt. Cassandra Jeffries is definitely not my 
 type. Though she might be yours."
 
 "Thank you but I've got all I need right here" The truthful words came out 
 before he could stop them and Mac smiled as she looked up at him.
 
 "So do I" she said softly. "And Mr. Hot Shot is nothing compared to you."

"You don't like your men young and cocky?" he asked softly, watching her face.

"Didn't you hear me say I've got all I need right here," she laughed.  "And that Flyboy 
means I've got all the cocky I can handle thank you."

"Well maybe at one time but I don't have anything to be cocky about right now," he 
sighed, not catching her more jovial mood.

"Harm your life is not defined by your flying," she reminded him sternly.  "There is a lot 
more to Harmon Rabb than his ability in the cockpit.  Besides his lawyering skills even I 
mean."

He dropped wearily onto the bed.  "Well thank you for saying that, but I don't seem to be 
able to get past how I failed. Failed to cope with it all any better than I am. Not just in the 
cockpit that night, but afterward too.  I can't make myself believe that the same Harmon 
Rabb came out of that experience as went in."

"He didn't," she said at once and sat down on the edge of the bed, gently trailing her 
fingers in the hair above his ear.

"You and I--we are both very different people now.  And different better, because we 
learned a lot.  Of course you're having some trouble coping.  You're not Super Harm.  
You nearly died.  My god I was seeing the worst pictures in my head when they were 
treating you.  I kept seeing myself handing your mother a folded flag and her screaming, 
no not again."  She was barely controlling her emotions at that point, and when her voice 
cracked he looked at her sharply.

"Thank you and yes please keep reminding me how hard, thanks to me, this has been on 
you too."

"Not my point."  She smiled lightly and squiggled her fingers once more before 
withdrawing her hand.  "Point is, we're here for each other."  Her face took on a distant 
look before she spoke again.  "Sometime in the future, I'll tell you everything that 
happened that night from the time the phone call came in to the church.  I know you're 
fuzzy, and I wish I was.  I remember it all in crystal clarity.  But you've got enough right 
now."

"No hey no," he objected.  "If there's stuff you should be talking about, then I want to hear 
it."

"Not now Squid," she said firmly.  "In small doses.  We have this case, and you have your 
treatments, and your board, and that's enough for now."

"Well at some point promise me I can take care of you like you're taking care of me."  His 
face took on a tenderness she had seldom seen and he pulled her down to rest against 
his chest, her head snuggled into the crook of his neck.  All he had to do was to turn 
slightly, and his lips would meet hers.  He would just barely touch at first, just to let her 
know he cared, and this time, unlike on the Admiral's porch, she would want the kiss as 
much as he did.  And they would know...

"Harm?  Harm you went out on me there Sailor.  You OK?"

"Were you talking to me?"  He looked so blank that she was mildly alarmed.  

"No I was yelling your name because I liked the sound of it.  As much as I'm enjoying 
this, I think we need to talk to Lieutenant Jeffries."  

"I think I'd rather just hold you," he sighed.  

She bit her lip as she heard those words and remembered a phrase from an old poem.  
Winds of change.  "You know I changed my mind.  You're right I think," she said, keeping 
her voice light.  "The Harmon Rabb that went into the water that night is not the same 
Harmon Rabb who came out."

"No he's not," he said seriously, "and he knows he's got a lot to deal with and get through 
before he can look to the future, but when that's done, well he's going to have a lot to say 
to a certain Marine."

"Is that a promise?" she asked, in that same light voice.

"It's a vow," he answered and in one motion rolled them both to their feet.  "Now where is 
this Lieutenant we need to talk to?"

Mac smiled to herself, knowing that he had just signaled he was about to hit emotional 
overload and had backed off.  That was all right, there would be another time and place.  
This was not Sydney--they were not on a ferry where she had ambushed him with the 
longing that had been building within her since they first met.  It would happen for them, 
and when it did, it would be right.

"Mac?"

"Sorry.  She's on convalescent leave.  But she lives off post in a mobile home so we'll 
have to ask directions and drive out there.  And you know what, that brings up something.  
How did she manage to get hurt, and Carmichael not?"

"No one punches out without getting hurt some," Harm reminded her.  "Carmichael's 
chest and shoulders have to be bothering him at the very least.  Well you remember 
Russia and what it feels like."

"Sorry Flyboy, I've conveniently blocked everything between the time we took off and the 
moment I saw your face when I came out in the gypsy getup."

"God you were so beautiful," he gasped before he could stop himself.

"Thank you," she smiled simply.  "Moving out please."
================
PENSACOLA PINES MOBILE HOME PARK

"OK there it is," Harm called, "number six."

A young male, dressed in the uniform of a Marine Lieutenant, at least from the waist 
down, answered their knock.

"Joey who is that and are you answering the door shirtless again?" a female voice called 
from the inside.

"Uh yeah, and I should be saluting, there are two officers at the door."  He turned back to 
Harm and Mac.  "Sorry, sir, ma'am.  I'm Lieutenant Joseph Waddell.  You're here to see 
me I hope not as I catch the JAG insignia.  And come in please and I'll get a shirt."

"Joey stop babbling," ordered the woman on the sofa, her leg propped up on a pillow, 
"and yes, dressing would be a good idea."  She started to get up and Harm immediately 
motioned her to keep her place.

"Lieutenant Jeffries?"

"Yes sir."

"Harmon Rabb--Sarah Mackenzie, JAG.  About your mishap."

"Crash," Joey growled from the other room.  "Sir Cassie will try to minimize what 
happened because she doesn't want that idiot Carmichael to get in trouble, but don't 
listen to her."

"At ease Marine," Mac called.  "We'll hear what you've got to say if it's relevant."

Joey reappeared a moment later, pulling a shirt down over freshly donned shorts and 
eased himself in beside Cassie.  "I'm not just some guy off the street sir, ma'am.  I'm a 
fighter jock myself.  And I don't like this guy.  He's dangerous, to himself, to his RIO, and 
to anyone who's flying with him.  He's good and..."  His voice trailed off as he spotted 
Harm's wings.  "You know the type don't you sir."

"All too well."  Mac could not resist a jab at her partner and then quickly added, "but not 
lately.  Early on in his career, yeah easily."

"I hear you son," Harm nodded and looked to Cassie.  "Your chance to speak up.  Let me 
remind you though that you'll be under oath before Carmichael's board, and the same if it 
goes to disciplinary action."

Harm and Mac both sat down and looked expectantly at Cassie.

 "Don't pay no attention to Joey" Cassie smiled. "Marty's a bit of a hot shot 
 yes, but he's not as bad as Joey makes him sound. Commander, you know what 
 it takes to be a pilot. Marty's just a little more zealous than the others 
 are. He wants to be the best. So he pushes things a little more than others 
 do."
 
 "To the point that safety is an issue?" Mac asked.
 
 "No ma'am, he's never done anything to intentionally get either of us hurt."
 
 "What about unintentionally because he was hot dogging it?" Harm asked.
 
 "No, sir. Marty maybe cocky and all but he's never done anything stupid. But 
 he's also not afraid of doing or trying anything."
 
 "Yeah anything that could get you hurt" Joey spoke up.
 
 "The night of the mishap what happened?" Mac asked, ignoring Joey's 
 interruption.
 
 "Well I'm sure you've read the report" Cassie sighed. "Basically the systems 
 just went haywire. One minute everything is fine and the next we've got 
 warning lights going off everywhere. Marty did what he could to keep it up 
 but I don't think anyone could have got that plane back on the ground in one 
 piece."
 
 Harm nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. He and Skates had experienced 
 the same situation and despite his attempts to save it he hadn't been able 
 to. He still wondered if there wasn't something else he could have done to 
 save the plane and keep them from having to eject.
 
 "Harm" Mac said gently, breaking into his thought.
 
 "What?" Harm said as he realized Mac was looking at him. "Did you say 
 something?"
 
 "I asked if you had any other questions for the Lt."
 
 "Uh, no I think I'm all finished" Harm said he stood up. Like before he was 
 suddenly very uncomfortable talking about the accident, memories of his own 
 coming back up again.
 
 "Commander, Marty didn't do anything wrong that night" Cassie said quietly. 
 "He really is a good pilot. And I'm not just saying that cause I'm his RIO. 
 I've flown with others. Marty is a natural."
 
 "Would you fly with him again?" Mac asked.
 
 "Of course" Cassie said quickly. "As soon as they clear me I'm back up in 
 the air.
 
 "So you have no problems going back up?" Harm asked.
 
 "No sir" Cassie assured him. "What happened was a simple accident. And I'll 
 admit it's not something I'd care to repeat again but I'm not worried about 
 going back up if that's what you mean."
 
 Harm nodded and Mac stood up, sensing that he'd reached his point for 
 dealing with the questioning again.
 
 "Thank you for your time" Mac smiled. "If we have any further questions, 
 we'll let you know."
 
 Joey showed them out and Harm let out a long sigh once they were alone in 
 the car.
 
 "Don't even say it" Mac said before he could open his mouth. "Because I'm 
 not going to let you do this to yourself again."
 
 "Fine, I won't say it" Harm sighed. "But it's the truth."
 
 She shook her head as she started the car back to the base. She'd known it 
 was going to be hard on him, but she hadn't expected him to put so much 
 pressure on himself.  The drive was made in silence and when she pulled the 
 rental car in front of the BOQ he sat there without moving.
 
 "Are we going to sit in the car all night or would you like to grab dinner 
 at the O club?" she asked gently.
 
 "I'm really not good company right now," he said quietly. "You can go on 
 ahead. I'm just going to go up to my room."
 
 "And do what?" Mac asked. "Beat yourself up some more about what happened? I 
 think you've done enough of that for one day.  We're going to get something 
 to eat and then we'll find something to do besides letting you pout for the 
 rest of the night."
 
 "Why do you put up with me?" Harm sighed as he looked over at her. 
 "Honestly."
 
 "Honestly" she repeated and he nodded. "I put up with you because putting up 
 with you is better than what my alternatives might have been. Harm, you're 
 here and you're still with me. To me that's all that matters. I told you 
 from the beginning I could handle whatever you throw at me. You mean a lot 
 to me Harmon Rabb. More than you know."
 
 "And you mean just as much to me" Harm said with a small smile. "Okay, let's 
 try this again. How would you like to have dinner with the Oclub with me?"
 
 "I'd be delighted" Mac smiled. "Shall we walk over?"
 
 A few minutes later they were strolling across the base to the Oclub, the 
 darkening clouds moving in from the west. It didn't go unnoticed by Harm and 
 as Mac looked up she realized what he was thinking.
 
 "Don't worry sailor," she said gently. "I'm right here with you and I'll be 
 with you tonight."
 
 "Thanks" he said giving her a sheepish grin. "I'm worse than little AJ when 
 it comes to these things."
 
 "With good reason" she reminded him.
 
 Once inside the Oclub they grabbed a table in the corner, wanting somewhere 
 to talk privately. The waitress had just taken their orders when Lt. 
 Carmichael walked in with several of his buddies.
 
 "Sir, ma'am, you're welcome to join us" Carmichael smiled as he walked over 
 to their table. "Maybe you can share your story with the other guys. We've 
 been talking about it since I found out who you were."
 
 "Yeah sure" Harm said to Mac's utter amazement. "We'll be there a few 
 seconds."
 
 "Great" Carmichael grinned as he headed back to the other table.
 
 "Harm, what in the hell are you doing?" Mac hissed quietly.  "Why did you do 
 that?"
 
 "Because I have to," Harm said quietly. "Mac, do you think I want all those 
 guys to know I can't handle what happened? If I don’t go over there and talk 
 to them, they're going to know I'm hiding something."
 
 "Why couldn't you just tell him we were busy working on the case?" Mac 
 countered.
 
 "Mac, you don't understand" Harm sighed.
 
 "No, I don't understand why you're going to subject yourself to talking 
 about something that you can't even handle yet."
 
 "Mac, please" Harm pleaded. "Just go along with me on this. I have to do 
 this."
 
 "Why because someone might find out you're human?" Mac said shaking her 
 head. "That the great Harmon Rabb is a person who has fears just like the 
 rest of us. And that those fears are right now taking over your life. As 
 they would be for anyone who had been in your situation."
 
 "Anyone except a fighter pilot" Harm said quietly. "Now are you going to go 
 over there with me or not?"
 
 Without a word she stood up and they walked over to the table where the 
 other guys were sitting.
 
 Lt. Carmichael introduced the others to Harm and Mac, and Mac wasn't 
 surprised to find they were all members of the same squadron. She sat down, 
 wondering how on earth she was going to stand dinner with a table of young 
 and arrogant flyboys. Worse yet, how she was going to sit there and listen 
 to Harm tell the story of what had happened.  It wasn't something she 
 allowed herself to consciously think about anymore. But those 11 hours were 
 something she would never forget.
 
 She watched and listened as Harm told his story, amazed at how he managed to 
 keep his emotions in check as he did so. Course she knew that he had no real 
 memories from the point of ejection until he awoke in the hospital several 
 days later. Just the nightmares of what had happened.
 
 "So what did this guy look like when they pulled him out of the water 
 Colonel?" Carmichael asked.
 
 For a moment she didn’t answer and several pairs of eyes looked over at her. 
 She swallowed hard before finally answering. "Not very good" she said 
 finally. "Uh, if you'll excuse me." She was out of her seat before Harm 
 could stop her, hurrying from the dining area to the ladies room.

"Commander did I say something wrong?" Carmichael asked, shaking his head in a 
can't understand women' mode.

Harm frowned as he stared in the direction which she had gone.  "She was aboard the 
chopper that pulled me up, so they tell me.  I was in and out so I don't know too much of 
what went on once the seat blew."  

"Yeah that's one helluva ride," Carmichael chortled and two of his buddies touched their 
beer bottles to his.

"Excuse me," Harm mumbled, heading down the corridor after Mac.

Cautiously he opened the door and was relieved to find it except for her, and relieved to 
find her standing quietly at the sink, washing her face.  "Anything I can do?" he asked 
gently.  "I'm not sure I understand but you know I want to."

She finished pressing the cool paper towel to her face before she spoke, and then it was 
with a long sigh.  "No there's really nothing.  I just wasn't really ready to go down memory 
lane with that night.  I know you don't remember it, but I do, and not in my worst 
nightmare could I conjure up..."

He closed the distance between them and pressed his hand flat on her back.  "Let's go 
upstairs and let you tell me what happened."

"No thanks."  She shook her head firmly.  "I don't want to get into it, but moreover I don't 
want you to be burdened by it just now."

"I can handle it," he protested, rubbing her back lightly.

"No you can't," she sighed.  She was not going to right then tell him the truth of that night.  
How they had pulled him from the water, ashen gray, his skin cold and wrinkled, and that 
there was no...  She shuddered hard to shut off the memory.  "No, you'll just have to trust 
me on this.  Neither of us is ready to go there." 

"Mac please," he tried and looked at the stubborn set of her jaw.  "OK, for now.  You 
ready to go back to the table?"

"Harm I'm going to ask for my food to go if you don't mind.  I'm a woman, a Marine and I 
get sick in fighters.  I don't belong with that group.  But you do and you know you like 
hearing their stories and you've got plenty of your own.  My god these kids were still in 
junior high school when you won your DFC over Libya.  Go and wow each other please."

"No thanks.  I'd rather be with you."  He did his best to sound convincing and it made her 
smile.  "Go and trade jet jockey stories please.  I would very much like to go upstairs and 
soak in a warm tub and maybe look at these case notes.  We're supposed to see the 
maintenance shop guys tomorrow."

He turned her around and rested both hands on her shoulders.  "Are you sure?  I mean I 
haven't had a night with the guys, any guys..."

"Go for godsake, you don't need my permission.  A little time apart will be good for both 
of us.  I'll meet you for breakfast.  Come up and get you about 0700 OK?"

He nodded soberly, hearing the wisdom in her words.  It would not hurt them to spend a 
few hours apart.  Some breathing room.
==================
320 AM
Mac's Room

"There he is...we've got him."  Slowly, ever so slowly, the wench turned and Harm was 
being raised from the ocean that had threatened to claim him as another victim of its 
whims.  She could see that he was hanging limply, lifelessly, in the harness and her arms 
itched to take him.  The crewman reached for him first, swinging him inside the chopper.  
She was pushed aside by the medic who was put two fingers immediately against his 
neck.  And she watched in abject horror as this man ripped away Harm's flight suit to...

Her scream echoed through her room first and then out into the hall.  First one and 
another until they melded together.  There were no warm arms around her to calm her 
and she could not shake herself from the pit of terror.

The duty officer heard the screams from the floor below and hit the button on his phone 
that would bring the SPs.  The young man had never heard screaming like that before, 
and hoped to God he never did again.

Harm heard it too, from the floor above and two doors down it echoed.  He sat up slowly 
in bed, at first thinking he had heard his own screams for not the first time; and then 
realizing he had not even been asleep, but rather barely dozing as he missed the body of 
his Marine pressed against him.  When he came more fully awake and turned on the 
light, he knew.  Knew it was her screaming.  Her name escaped his throat in a hoarse cry 
and he rolled from the bed, the covers tangling his feet and making him fall to the floor.  
With a mumbled epithet he finally got to his feet and located his jeans.  By the time he got 
them on, he could hear sirens, and the sound chilled him deep within as his mind painted 
gruesome pictures of horrible fates befalling her. He froze in place as he ran the 
possibilities.  She could be simply having a nightmare, or there could be...someone in 
room, someone hurting her.  Someone who thought she might be getting too close to the 
truth or someone who simply broke into the room of a beautiful woman.  With another 
strangled cry of her name he tore for the stairs.

He reached the corridor of her room in time to be stopped by a burly SP.  "No sir, this 
corridor is sealed off until we find out what's going on."
 
 

 "Like hell" Harm screeched. "That's my partner in there. Now step aside."
 
 "Sir, I'm warning you" the SP started only to be roughly shoved aside as 
 Harm tore past him, heading right to Mac's room.
 
 He burst into her room seconds later, his heart breaking at the sight of her 
 sitting up in the bed sobbing loudly.
 
 "Mac, honey, are you okay?" Harm asked as he quickly drew her into his arms, 
 ignoring the others who were now swarming in the room.
 
 At the sound of his voice, her sobs began to lessen and her tears stained 
 face looked up at the man that held her. "Oh god Harm" she whispered. "It 
 was so real. It was like living that nightmare all over again."
 
 "Shh, it was just a nightmare" Harm soothed as he rocked her gently, not 
 sure what her nightmare had been about. "It's over now and you're safe now."
 
 "Ma'am, what happened here?" the SP demanded.
 
 "She had a nightmare," Harm said without looking up at the men. "And as you 
 can see there's nothing for you to worry about so you can go now."
 
 "Ma'am are you sure you're okay?" the young duty officer asked. "I mean, 
 when you screamed it sounded like someone was murdering you in here."
 
 "I'm okay" Mac whispered. "I’m sorry I caused such a scene."
 
 "I'm just glad nobody's hurt" the SP sighed as he and the others walked out 
 of the room.
 
 Harm continued to hold her as her trembling finally began to ease.  "You 
 want to tell me what the nightmare was about?" he asked gently.
 
 "I can't" she whispered, not wanting to relive a second of that again. 
 "Please don't make me talk about that again."
 
 "This is about me isn't it?" Harm prodded. "About when I was rescued."
 
 "Harm, don't" Mac wailed. "Please, I don't want to think about it."
 
 "Mac, it's obviously bothering you. And speaking from experience, the 
 nightmares don't go away unless you talk about them and deal with what's 
 causing them."
 
 "No" she said as she shook her head wildly.  "I can't talk about it.  Not 
 right now."
 
 "All right" he sighed as he held her tighter. "For now I'm letting it go. 
 But when we go and talk to Captain Taylor next week I'm going to tell him 
 that I'm not the only one having nightmares." He paused for a moment and 
 looked down at her tear stained face again before continuing. "Mac, I'm 
 getting worried about you. I think you're holding a lot in because you've 
 been busy worrying about me and I think it's starting to get to you."
 
 "It does when I have to listen to you tell the story to a group of jet 
 jocks" Mac said softly.
 
 "I'm sorry," he said honestly. "I was a jerk tonight and that was the last 
 thing you needed after what's happened. And the last thing you deserved 
 after everything you've done for me. I should have been here with you 
 instead of trying to impress a bunch of kids which my tales of glory. I'm 
 sorry Mac. You deserve better than that from me."
 
 "I'm not going to argue with you on that squid" Mac said with a small smile. 
   She finally took a second to look up at him, noting at once that he looked 
 as tired as she felt. "You couldn't sleep either could you?"
 
 "No ma'am, I couldn't" Harm admitted sheepishly. "I missed holding you in my 
 arms, feeling you next to me."
 
 "We make quite a pair" Mac sighed. "Maybe Captain Taylor will give us the 
 two for one special."
 
 "Mac, I'm serious about you talking to him about whatever it is that's 
 bothering you. If you don't want to do that with me around, fine, I'll 
 leave. But you can't keep this all to yourself."
 
 "I won't" She was about to say more when long yawn cut her off and Harm 
 brought her closer to him again.
 
 "Why don’t we try and get some sleep?" Harm suggested as he lay down on the 
 bed, bringing Mac with him. She gladly snuggled next to him, laying her head 
 on his chest and closing her eyes. Just hearing the sound of his heart 
 beating calmed the last of her frazzled nerves, memories of the nightmare 
 slowly fading away.
 
 ****************
 
 It was Mac who stirred first, groaning as she realized that it was already 
 after 9:00.
 
 "Wake up sleepyhead" she said as she gave Harm a gentle nudge. "We're 
 running a little behind sailor."
 
 "Can't we just sleep all day" Harm moaned without opening his eyes to look 
 at her.
 
 "Nice thought, but not going to happen today" Mac said as she climbed out of 
 bed. "We're supposed to meet with the maintenance guys later this morning. 
 And I don't know about you, but I'm in need of some coffee and food."
 
 "Wake me when you're ready to go talk to them" Harm murmured, still having 
 not moved from the bed.
 
 "Not an option" Mac said as she gave him a playful swat. "Move it sailor."
 
 They had just finished breakfast at the Oclub and were about to make their 
 way back to the BOQ when the skies suddenly opened up, the rain coming down 
 in hard sheets.
 
 "In here" Harm said as he grabbed Mac's hand and pulled her towards another 
 building.  They ran inside the building, both soaked by then.
 
 "Okay, I could have done without a second shower" Mac said as she looked 
 around. "So what building is this?"
 
 "I think it's some hall of fame, memorial type thing" Harm said vaguely. "I 
 can't say I've ever been in here before."
 
 "Well seeing as how the rain isn't going to let up right away, we might as 
 well look around" Mac said as she started to walk down the hallway lined 
 with the pictures of those who had served there before.  Harm followed 
 behind her, not really paying attention as Mac made her way down the hall.
 
 "Oh my god" she whispered as she looked at one of the pictures.
 
 "Mac, what's wrong?" Harm demanded.
 
 "It's him. It's Captain Harding." As she started at the picture of the man, 
 she knew at once that this was the ghost she had seen. The ghost who had 
 warned her that something would happen to Harm again. The wind and surf. The 
 ghost had said the wind and surf would try and reclaim him.
 
 "Okay, so what's the big deal?" Harm shrugged. "So Brubaker didn't make up 
 the person. I'm sure the rest was."
 
 "No. He warned me remember? That something would happen to you." Her voice 
 trembled and visions of her nightmare began to flash through her head again.
 
 "Mac, stop right there" Harm ordered. "Do not do this to yourself. Nothing 
 is going to happen to either of us."
 
 He pulled her into his arms as she started to shiver and she clung to him 
 tightly. The ghost's words ran through her mind. What was before will be 
 re-visited. She shivered more at the thought and Harm hugged her closer to 
 him. "Mac, it's okay," he said soothingly. "Please don't get upset about 
 this. It's just a fluke that you happen to see this guy's picture. It 
 doesn't mean anything."
 
 She wanted very much to believe him, but as she glanced back at the picture 
 of Captain Harding she knew that wasn't the case. A sense of foreboding had 
 settled over her and last nights nightmare was just the beginning.
 
Harm tugged at her.  "Come let's soak up the history in here.  There's a lot of aviators 
passed through these doors you know."  

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she was not in the mood to see pictures of the 
by-gone glory days of Naval Aviation--not after what his pursuit of aviator status had 
nearly cost them; but instead she meekly followed.  Twenty minutes later he was lost in a 
corridor of past dreams as he studied the exhibits.  She wandered to the end of the long 
hall, staring out at the narrow beach and the angry ocean beyond.  An ocean being torn 
apart at that moment by the storm that suddenly had reached epic proportions.  She 
glanced back at Harm to see if he was noticing, but he was wearing headphones while 
listening to a presentation.

The storm made her shudder as she watched the ocean be tortured by its touch.  It was 
nearly as dark as it was when Harm was found.  The thunder and lightning were the 
same and when she closed her eyes, she could see the giant swells, and the very small 
pilot those swells were loathe to give up.  Harmon Rabb had cheated death that day, but 
would he manage to another time?  The thought was too gruesome to comprehend and 
she leaned her forehead against the glass, mesmerized by the storm and the crashing 
surf.

Harm's hand to her back a few minutes later startled her from her thoughts and she 
slipped her arm around his waist.  "Quite a storm."

"Yeah," he said quietly, knowing what she was thinking and sharing the same musings.  
His eyes left the ocean to look to the side, seeing the landing lights of the field come up 
full.  

"What are you looking at?" she asked, not understanding.

"There must be planes up," he frowned, "though god knows why.  Of course pilots need 
bad weather training, but still I can't believe..."  His voice trailed off as he looked out to 
sea.  "I'll bet they were doing exercises off the carrier out there.  And there's someone 
heading for the field here instead of the deck.  The storm's bound to be worse out there, 
and the deck may be closed."

"OK," she shrugged noncommittally, her mind focused on her memories of Harm's 
rescue.  

"I just hope whoever doesn't...," he went on, only to be stopped by the scream of jet 
engines, heard even above the storm.  "There look."  He pointed out across the water 
and sure enough through the rain they could just make out the form of a Tomcat.

"Harm is he going..." she tried to ask and even as she was forming the words, knew the 
answer.  Knew by how low the fighter was, barely above the surf, and knew by Harm's 
face.

"He'll never make the concrete," Harm shouted, throwing open the door and sprinting into 
the storm toward the beach, Mac following on his heels.

The powerful jet engines screamed in protest as the pilot urged it forward.  "Come on 
baby, come on, hold together for just a few more seconds," Harm panted, knowing that 
was exactly what the pilot would be saying.  

With his long legs and speed born of the adrenaline rush, he reached the edge of the surf 
just as the plane came down, smoke billowing from one engine.  With a roar of a 
thousand cannons it fell into the surf and a second later the world disappeared in a giant 
fireball.  Hiroshima.

The roar of the flames filled her ears.  The explosion had knocked her to the sand and 
she had rolled into a ball, tucking her head to her chest and covering herself with her 
arms.  "Harm...Harm where are you?" she gasped when she had recovered enough to 
look up.  At that moment all she could see was the billowing smoke and flames, flames 
that managed to burn despite the driving rain.

The force of the explosion had thrown Harm into the water, into the surf that was now 
threatening to tear him apart as he at first attempted to struggle to his feet, and quickly 
realized that was the least of his worries.  The fumes from the burning fuel were choking 
him, when he could manage to get his head above the water and when he took a breath, 
acrid sea water came in with it.  He tried to see into the plane, trying to determine if the 
pilot and RIO had managed to blow the canopy and scramble out.  Maybe Mac 
had....MAAAAC.  His mind screamed her name as he realized he could not see her now, 
and did not know how close behind him she was.  Had she been caught up in the 
explosion?  Had she been tossed like a ragdoll into the foaming angry waves?  

The object of his frantic concern was in fact getting slowly to her feet as best she could 
with the wind tearing at her.  She shouted for Harm, only to have the wind carry his name 
away, and then tore for the water's edge, knowing that was were she had last seen him.  
The cold of icy fear seeped into her belly.  If he had plunged into the water, or if the 
explosion had forced him....what was before will be re-visited.  He had cheated death 
before in the vast ocean where life had begun.  What if the mother of all life had returned 
to claim her victim?



"Nooooo" she screamed as she dove into the water, her only consideration for 
 Harm. Her own lack of ability didn’t matter at that point.
 
 From the corner of his eye Harm finally caught sight of the pilot and RIO in 
 the water. They'd managed to escape the wreckage and were now attempting to 
 make it to the shore. Their safety assured, he tried to focus his attention 
 on Mac and where she might be. Another wave crashed over him and for a 
 moment he went under again. And like the last time he'd been in the ocean, 
 there was one thing that made him push himself back to the surface. Sarah 
 Mackenzie. He had to find her. And this time he had to tell her. He broke 
 the surface couching and gasping for air, looking around desperately for 
 her.
 
 "Mac" he tried to scream, succeeding only in swallowing another mouthful of 
 sea water. He felt himself go under again, only to feel a pair of hands 
 bringing him back to the surface again seconds later.
 
 "Harm" Mac screamed when they broke the surface. "Harm, can you hear me?"
 
 "Mac, what the hell" he gasped as he realized who his rescuer was. "Are you 
 crazy?"
 
 Without a word she began to tow him towards the shore, the waves crashing 
 into them as they slowly kicked their way to the sand. They fell into the 
 sand together, Harm coughing hard from the sea water.
 
 "Mac, why did you.." he panted between coughs. "Why did you do that? My god, 
 you could have drown out there."
 
 "I couldn't lose you" she gasped. "Don't you understand?"
 
 "Understand that you almost got killed trying to save me?" he screeched 
 before coughing again. "Mac how could you possibly do something like that?"
 
 "Because I love you" Mac screamed. "I love you Harmon Rabb. I almost lost 
 you once and I wasn't going to lose you for good this time."
 
 "Well I love you and that's why you shouldn't have risked your life like 
 that" Harm screamed back. "My god, how do you think I would have felt if 
 you'd drown trying to save me. I would have wanted to die."
 
 For a moment they lay in the sand looking at each other, not sure what 
 they'd heard.
 
 "Did you say you love me" they both whispered at the same time, the words 
 finally sinking into both of them as they stared at each other.
 
 "I did" Harm whispered as he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly 
 as the emergency crews suddenly began to swarm the beach area.
 
 "Sir, ma'am, are you okay?" one of the men asked as he knelt down beside 
 them.
 
 "We're fine" Harm assured him, his hold on Mac never lessening. He coughed 
 again and Mac looked up at him anxiously.
 
 "Harm, you sure you're okay?" she asked.
 
 "We can take him to the base hospital and get him checked over" the 
 paramedic replied before Harm could answer. "Both of you for that matter."
 
 "The pilot and RIO" Harm panted.
 
 "Got them too and they look to be fine" the man replied. "We'll get you all 
 to the hospital and looked over. Do you need some help?"
 
 "No, I think we're okay" Harm said as he and Mac stood up, Mac keeping her 
 arm around Harm as they slowly walked to where the ambulances were waiting.
 
 ***********************************
 It was several hours later before the exhausted pair returned to the BOQ. 
 They'd both been checked over at the base hospital and had given their 
 statements as to what had transpired before they were finally allowed to 
 return to their rooms.
 
 "Enough excitement for you for one day" Mac said softly as they made their 
 way into Harm's room.
 
 "More than enough" Harm sighed as he sank down on the bed, gently tugging 
 her down beside him. "I think we need to finish what we started on the 
 beach."
 
 "If you mean the I love you, I'll be more than happy to repeat it" Mac said 
 with a small smile. "I don't have to hide it anymore. I love you Harmon 
 Rabb. More than anything else in this world."
 
 "And I love you Sarah Mackenzie" Harm whispered as he leaned back against 
 the pillows, bringing her with him. "I have since god knows when. And I was 
 trying to get back to you that night for a reason. I didn't want you to 
 marry Mic. I wanted to stop you. I wanted to tell you that I loved you."
 
 "And I almost lost you because of that" Mac whispered. "Do you know why I 
 felt so guilty? It was because I wanted you there to stop me. I was hoping 
 you would come back and tell me not to marry Mic."
 
 "You didn't lose me. I'm still here with you Sarah and I promise you'll 
 never lose me again. You were what kept me alive during those 11 hours. You. 
 And knowing that I couldn't die without telling you how I felt."
 
 "All I wanted was to get you back," Mac said softly. "I kept asking God for 
 one more chance. And tonight, I thought I'd lost that chance again. And 
 that's why I did what I did tonight. "
 
 "And if you ever do anything as crazy as that again.."
 
 "You mean save the life of the man I love," she said softly. "I'd do it 
 again in a minute. I couldn't lose you Harm. I couldn’t let it win. It 
 almost did the first time and I couldn't let it happen."
 
 "Mac, we need to talk about that," Harm said softly. "The first time and 
 what happened. And why you're having nightmares about it."
 
 "Not now" Mac whispered as she snuggled closer to him. "Please. I just want 
 lay here in your arms."
 
 "Okay, not now" Harm said gently as he stroked her hair. "I love you Sarah. 
 And we'll get through this together."
 
 "Together" Mac sighed contentedly. "I like the sound of that."
 
 "Good, cause we're going to be together for a really long time" Harm 
 murmured tiredly.
 
THE END