Title. Reflections Author: Lia E-Mail Address: fairyland15@hotmail.com Rating: PG Classification: A, R Spoilers: The Princess & The Petty Officer Summary: The death of Baby Sarah affects the lives of the four people who would have been the closest to her, an affect that's different and yet the same. Disclaimers: JAG belongs to Donald P. Bellisario, Paramount Pictures and CBS Entertainment. Itīs not me who owns them, so it wasnīt me who decided about Baby Sarahīs death. Donīt sue, Iīll give you nothing! Authorīs Note: Thank you Pat, for beta and everything. Also thanks to Dee, who is my best friend. Love you both. 1855 EST Roberts Residence Rosslyn, VA Harriet Roberts stood near the window and looked outside as the white snowflakes fell slowly from the dark sky. Her hand rose to touch her flat belly and a lonely tear fell on her cheek. Her baby was gone. The apartment was in silence as the tears fell on her cheeks and down on her chest. She missed Bud, she missed his arms around her, his gentle voice as he comforted her. It was his first case out of the town after... she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. After Sarahīs death. Her eyes found the clock on the wall. In a few more hours before Sarah and Harm would come back with AJ. She walked to the couch and sat down. She stared at the Christmas tree Bud had brought in two days ago, just before he had left. But the tree was still undecorated. It was bare, like her soul. She got up and went to the closet and got the big box of Christmas decorations out. She sat back on the couch, placing the box on her lap and staring it silently. After thirty minutes, she put the first glass ball in the tree and stepped back to admire it. The silver ball spun around slowly and she saw her own desperate reflection on it. The slender branch didnīt hold the ballīs weight and she stood still watching as the ball hit the floor, breaking into million pieces, breaking her reflections at the same time. She sank to the floor and cried. 1925 EST Macīs Apartment Georgetown Mac sat on the couch staring as AJ sat next to Jingo and smoothed his fur gently. Jingo lay still on his side, his eyes closed, enjoying AJīs soft hands. AJ looked up to Mac and smiled proudly. "Jingoīs sleepinī" he whispered and Mac smiled. Harm sat next to her and gave her a steaming cup of tea. "Thanks," she took the cup and brought it on her lips. "Careful, itīs hot" he warned. They sat few moments in silence. Harm saw AJ lying on the floor next to Jingo who had raised his head as keeping a guard for the sleeping child. "Iīll take him to bed," Harm whispered and got up. She only nodded after him and watched as he took the child from the floor and carried him on the bedroom. Jingo looked at Mac and then jogged after Harm. He put him on the bed and covered him with his own blanket they had brought with him when they had picked him up earlier that day. He sat on the side of the bed and smoothed the boyīs soft cheek gently before bending to kiss his forehead. Jingo sat next to bed and then lay down on the floor. Harm patted his head "Keep an eye on him," he said quietly and then got up. He put the pillows around the boy, so he would not fall. Leaving the door ajar, he walked back to the living room. Mac sat still, staring in front of her seeing nothing, tears falling down on her cheeks. "Hey," his voice was worried. She lifted her eyes and looked at him sadly. "Damn," she whispered. He sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace. "Shh..." he whispered, not knowing what else to say. Feeling his hand smoothing her back softly, she burst into tears. Her fragile body shook as she cried against his chest and he did not know what to do. He just held her and let his own tears fell. 1950 EST Roberts Residence Rosslyn, VA Her hands were shaking too badly to clean up the pieces so she just sat still on the floor and stared at the still bare tree. A key turning in a lock made her lift her head tiredly. He opened the front door quietly and stepped in. The first thing he noticed was the darkness. "Harriet?" Bud called as he closed the door and locked it. Not getting a response, he walked in the living room and saw her sitting on the floor. "Harriet?" He repeated and kneeled down to her. "Sweetheart," It was his voice that made her broke out of the trance, and she lift her eyes to see him. "Bud?" She asked weakly. "Yes, Harriet" He whispered and pulled her in his arms, holding her tight. "Iīm here" he whispered in her ear as she leaned on him. "Iīm glad youīre home." She said after few minutes. "I came as soon as I could" "AJ is over at Sarahīs." "Maybe we should leave him there over night if she has nothing against it," Bud pulled back and smoothed her hair. "Yeah," she agreed tiredly. "Iīll call her" "No, you go to bed, Iīll be there in a minute." Bud got up and pulled her to stand as well. "Okay," she nodded numbly and walked in the bedroom. Bud waited few seconds before he went to the phone. Hitting the speed dial he waited for her answer. "Harm, itīs Bud." He said as he recognized his voice. "I figured, thanks for looking after him... Pretty fine, thank you... Only few minutes... Yes, it is... Well, I was wondering if you could keep AJ there over night? Not too good... It is, but weīre healing, it just takes time... I know... Yes, sir... Thank you... I will... Good night." He put the phone back on the table and started to unbutton his uniform. His eyes fell on the broken glass ball on the floor and he bent down to pick up a piece. A small portion of the pain on his face was reflected back to him. 2000 EST Macīs Apartment Georgetown Harm pulled slowly away and lifted her chin with his finger. "Do you want me to stay night?" He asked softly. She didnīt meet his eyes but nodded slightly "Yes, please" she whispered and wiped her tears away. He smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Iīm---" he started but the ringing phone interrupted him and he stood up. "Iīll get it." "Hello... Hey Bud... Iīm staying here with Mac and AJ... How are you feeling? How long have you been home? Thatīs good, to both of you... Of course we can... We are happy to have him here... Howīs Harriet doing? I know it must be hard for you... Bud weīre all for you, you do know that, donīt you? Donīt hesitate to ask anything... Okay, try to get some sleep, and give Harriet our love... Good night." "How are they doing?" Mac asked quietly as he walked back to her. "It still hurts," "I canīt imagine how Harriet is feeling right now. I wish I could do something for them." She sighed and wiped the new tears away. He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Me too," he said and leaned his head against hers. Few minutes they sat like that, just needing to feel another near. "We better head to bed." Harm said finally. "You sleep with AJ in the bed and I can sleep here." "No," a quiet, pleading cry escaped from her lips. "Please, donīt make me sleep alone. Not tonight." "I wonīt," he hugged her tighter. "But we have to squeeze in here, thereīs no room in your bed for all of us." "I donīt care, I just want to be held. Please." She looked at him scared. "Sarah, Iīm here for you." He promised. "Why donīt you go to check AJ and Iīll make us bed here." She reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly. "Thank you." Five minutes later the sofa bed was ready and he walked in her bedroom. She was sitting on the side of the bed, smoothing AJīs hair and crying softly. He walked closer and kneeled down next to her, "Sarah?" She turned her head to him and closed her eyes. "Itīs just that I---" "I know, sweetheart, I know." Harm said and got up, pulling her up too. "We both need some rest," he whispered and let her out of the room. She spooned against him and reached for his hand, linking their fingers. "Thank you," she whispered. "Anything for you, Sarah." He said and pressed a kiss on her hair. Few minutes passed in silence before he heard her swallowing her sobs. "Are you sure that Micīs not going to be rushing in during the night?" he asked, trying to made her smile. It worked. "No, I donīt think so," she chuckled sadly. "Good," he smiled. "Weīre through Harm. I gave him his ring back few days ago, before..." He pulled her closer, "Iīm glad." "Yeah, me too." She whispered, pulling their linked hands under her chin and closing her eyes. The End