Title: Personality Test Author: Nicole Category: S, R [Harm/Mac] Rating: PG Spoilers: none whatsoever Disclaimer: neither the characters nor the test are mine. Summary: Harriet gives everybody a personality test with surprising results. Feedback: Is the sky blue? :::looks out the window::: Um… well, I want feedback anyway. Author’s Notes: I got this test from a friend via email, and immediately thought of what Harm and Mac’s responses would be. Kinda out of character, so please ignore that. “Harriet, come, on,” Mac half wined. “A personality test? I think we all know what our personalities are!” “Well, yes, but, Mac, it’s fun!” Mac sighed then shrugged. “Okay, fine. If everybody else is, I guess I will, too.” Harriet grinned. “Great! Just have a seat, and Bud will record everybody’s answers. Right Bud?” Bud held up a pad of paper and a pencil in reply. “Good. Now, there are only 3 questions. First question: rate the following animals in order of preference: horse, monkey, cow, sheep and tiger.” AJ spoke up first. “Tiger, horse, cow, sheep, and monkey.” Bud nodded and looked to Harm. “Sheep, cow, horse, tiger and monkey.” Bud looked to Loren Singer. “Cow, monkey, tiger, and I don’t like horses or sheep.” “Well, pick one!” Harriet exclaimed. Loren sighed. “Sheep, then horse.” Jason Tiner was next. “Horse, tiger, sheep, cow, and monkey.” Finally, Mac spoke, the last one. “Tiger, sheep, cow, horse and monkey.” Harriet nodded. “Okay, next question: use one word to describe the following things: dog, cat, rat, coffee, and the ocean.” AJ spoke first again. “A dog would be gruff and mean on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside.” Harriet and Bud shared a smile at that, but AJ didn’t notice. “A cat? Soft. Hmmm. A rat, revolting. Coffee would have to be a pick-me-up. And the ocean: satisfying.” Harm answered next. “A dog would be cuddly and a cat would be sneaky. The rat is underhanded. Coffee is invigorating and soothing all at once. The ocean is perfect.” Loren rolled her eyes and spoke. “A dog is tenacious. A cat is pointless. A rat is annoying. Coffee is never needed, and the ocean is useless.” Jason gave his answer quietly. “A dog is always wanting to please, and a cat is soft and perfect. A rat is manipulative. I’ve never had coffee, so I can’t say. And the ocean is fulfilling.” Mac smiled and gave her answer. “A dog is faithful and a cat is obsessive.” At the weird looks she got at that, Mac explained. “They’re always cleaning themselves! If that’s not obsessive, what is? Anyway, a rat is hideous and coffee is perfect, but only when it’s the right kind and strength. Otherwise, it sucks and I still haven’t found that perfect brew. The ocean is calming.” Harriet nodded and asked the next question. “Okay, last question. Who do you think of when you think of these colors? Yellow, orange, red, white and green. You can only name one person for each color and not repeat.” AJ nodded and answered. “Yellow, I think of Webb. Orange, Rabb. Red, Francesca. White, Sydney, and green, Mac.” “Orange?” Harm asked, before responding to the question. “Yellow, I think of AJ, and orange I think of Bud. Red is you, Harriet and white, Mac. Green is Webb.” Loren frowned, thinking, before answering. “Yellow is the Admiral, and nobody comes to mind for orange. Red is Commander Rabb and again, nobody comes to mind for white. Green is… you, Lt. Sims.” Jason hesitated before speaking. “Yellow would be the Admiral. Orange… Commander Rabb. Red is my sister and white, my girlfriend. Green is Colonel MacKenzie.” Mac smiled and answered, “Yellow is Bud and orange is you , Harriet. Red is AJ and white, Harm. And green? I think it’s Lt. Singer.” “Okay, let’s hear the results!” Harriet exclaimed as Bud handed her the pad of paper. “Okay, for question one: Admiral, in your life, the order is which you rate things is: pride, family, career, love and money. Harm, yours is love, career, family, pride and money. Loren, yours is career, money, pride, love and family. Tiner, family, pride, love, career and money. Mac, pride, love, career, family and money.” Harriet observed the nods around the circle before she continued. “Now for the second question, Admiral, you described your personality as ‘gruff and mean on the outside, but a marshmallow on the inside.’” Everybody laughed at that, save Loren, who looked disgusted. “You described your partner’s personality as ‘soft’ and your enemy’s as ‘revolting.’ You view sex as ‘a pick-me-up’ and your life as ‘satisfying.’” Everyone gaped at Harriet for talking about AJ’s views on sex, but Harm and Mac both had smiles tugging on their lips, finally letting them free when AJ laughed, “Yes, Harriet, sex is definitely a pick-me-up!” “Okay, Harm, you described your personality as ‘cuddly,’” Harm groaned and Mac laughed as Harriet continued, “and your partner’s as ‘sneaky.’ Your enemy you called, ‘underhanded,’ and you view sex as ‘invigorating and soothing all at once,’ whereas your life is ‘perfect.’” Harm nodded and Harriet went on to Loren. “Loren, you described your personality as ‘tenacious’ and your partner’s as ‘pointless.’ Your enemy is ‘annoying’ and you view sex as ‘never needed.’” Harriet paused as the group howled with laughter and continued when they finally died down. “And you view your life as ‘useless.’” Harriet hurried on to Tiner before Loren could raise a fuss. “Tiner, you see yourself as ‘always wanting to please’ and your partner as ‘soft and perfect.’ You enemy is ‘manipulative’ and you don’t have a view on sex, because you’ve never had it.” Harriet smiled as Tiner blushed bright red. “And you see your life as ‘fulfilling.’” “And, Mac, you see yourself as ‘faithful’ and your partner as ‘obsessive.’” Harriet paused and observed the significant looks around the circle. The only person they knew who was obsessive was Harm. “Your enemy is ‘hideous’ and you view sex as ‘perfect when it’s with the right guy, otherwise it sucks, however, you still haven’t found the perfect guy.’” Harriet grinned and caught Mac’s eye, deliberately looking at Harm, before continuing. “And you see your life as ‘calming.’” “And the last question tells all! Admiral, you think that Mr. Webb will never forget you—” AJ cut off Harriet. “I doubt he will. It’s not everyday you get your nose broken!” Harriet grinned and continued. “Harm is your real friend and you really love Francesca. Sydney is your soulmate and you will always remember Mac.” AJ nodded, satisfied and Harriet moved on. “Harm, you think that the Admiral will never forget you and Bud is your real friend. You really love me and Mac is your soulmate. You will always remember Mr. Webb.” Harriet watched curiously as Harm blushed and Mac gave him a look at the soulmate thing. “Loren, you think that the Admiral will never forget you, you don’t have a real friend and you really love Harm.” Loren blushed hard and Harm’s mouth dropped open. “You don’t have a soulmate and you will always remember me.” “Tiner, you think that the Admiral will never forget you and Harm is your real friend. You really love your sister and your girlfriend is your soulmate. You will always remember Mac.” “And the very last bit! Mac, you think that Bud will never forget you and your real friend is me. You really love the Admiral and Harm is your soulmate. You will always remember Loren.” Again, Harriet watched the looks exchanged between Harm and Mac over the soulmate answer. “Harm?” Mac broke the silence of the SUV as Harm drove her home. “Do you think that test was really true?” Harm shrugged slightly. “Mine was. Wasn’t yours?” Mac ignored the question. “So… you think I’m your soulmate?” “No.” Mac felt the hope sink and disappointment took its place. “So it wasn’t true.” “Yes, it was.” Mac frowned. “Harm, you’re confusing me.” “I don’t *think* you’re my soulmate, I *know* you’re my soulmate.” Mac smiled. “Mine was true, too.”