TITLE: “Past Present Future XVI-Journey's End" AUTHORS: Anne R. and Pat Steiner SUMMARY: The sixteenth and concluding chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters of Lt. Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited. All will be Harm- Mac stories of course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and violence. DISCLAIMER: JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al. No copyright infringement is intended with this work of fiction. FEEDBACK: Yes, if you’re moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it would be much appreciated by both of us. However, if your intent is only to tell us you are not liking our work, please don’t spend the time. While we realize our work does not please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected. NOTE: All parts of this story, as well as much of our previous efforts, will be available to registered Yahoo users at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories No subbing is required to read from the message archives. Other archives where our work may be found: http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/ or http://www.netroenterprises.com/exlibrisjag or the Harm-Mac shipper archive at http://hmarchive.topcities.com/index2.html [sadly, not always up and running] or BTL- http://www.wtv-zone.com/trgarchive/btl/ http://destined.to/btlarchive – {BTL H/M Fanfiction archive.} Note: For purposes of this story, the events of any episode after Adrift do not play a part. Previously in the PPF series--- . Close on the trail of Sergei, the final confrontation was set up in a remote area of the Ohio hills. The close of PPF Chapter XV-- For the next twenty minutes they walked, Madison keeping a firm hand around Clay's arm, and now and again the still air there would be a the sound of a gun shot, serving as an effective direction beam. "Oh my god I see them," Mac gasped suddenly, peering through the trees. "The back there is right. The trail does end, and it looks like the only way to go is straight down." She let out another gasp as she saw Sergei raise his gun at Harm, who stood at the end of the trail. Just as she screamed Harm's name, Keeter came barreling through the trees, hitting Sergei's arm just as he fired his weapon. Mac held her breath as she watched Harm dive out of the way of the bullet that was just slightly off its target while the gun went flying from Sergei's hand. The next events played out in slow motion as Sergei turned and leveled a blow to Keeter that left him momentarily stunned. To Mac's horror, Sergei then turned his attention to Harm, who was making his way to his feet. The Russian charged at Harm, knocking him to the ground at the edge of the trail. "Harm" Mac screamed as she tried to run to where the two men were fighting. But her body wasn't cooperating and with the first step she felt the world spin around her. She waited for the wave of dizziness to pass, looking up just in time to see Harm and Sergei teetering on the edge before Sergei gave one last push that sent them both over. "NOOOOO" she screamed before the world darkened around her and with one last cry of his name she fell to the ground. **************** “Past Present Future-Journey's End" Madison and Clay hurried to Mac's side while Keeter ran to the edge, issuing prayer after prayer as he did so. With a deep breath he looked over, his eyes first noticing the body of Sergei on the rocks below. There was no question that the Russian was dead and he looked around anxiously for Harm. "Keeter" Harm gasped and Keeter finally caught sight of his friend hanging onto a large limb of a tree that had fallen over the edge. "Harm hang on" Keeter ordered. "I'll get you out of there." "He's there," Clay yelled as he looked over to where Keeter was just as Mac started to come around. "Hanging onto a tree. I'm going to try and get out to him and pull him up. I might need some help though." "Harm" Mac murmured. Full awareness returned a second later and she screamed his name, thinking the worst had happened. "Mac" Harm yelled. "Honey I'm here." "Harm" she wailed as she stumbled to her feet with Madison assistance. Moments later the three stood by anxiously as Keeter slowly made his way out on the tree. "Hang on buddy I'm almost to you" Keeter called. "Just hang on." "Hurry Keeter" Harm groaned. "Just keep thinking of that woman up here who loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you" Keeter ordered. "And hang on." "Harm please hang on" Mac begged as she looked down at him. "Don't you dare leave me sailor." "Okay Harm" Keeter said as he slowly leaned forward to the point that he was nearly lying on his stomach. "I'm going to reach under and grab you and you're going to have to let go off the limb and grab onto me." Harm nodded and moments later Mac watched as Keeter reached down and grabbed Harm under his arms. She held her breath as Harm let go of the limb and grabbed onto Keeter's arm. "Please god" she begged as she watched Keeter struggle with Harm's weight. "Please don't let him fall." "Keeter let me go. Now. I'm going to drop us both to the bottom," Harm shouted frantically, his long legs swaying back and forth. "The hell you say," Keeter replied savagely. "I didn't come all this way just to watch you die. Rabb you've got exactly five seconds to swing your legs and get them up here where they can do us both some good." Harm took a long breath and made a huge attempt, falling barely short as his exhausted legs refused his weight. "Harm what's wrong? Keeter, pull him up," Mac screamed, nearly hysterical with fear at this point. "He's not working with me," Keeter shouted. "He says he's afraid we're both going down." Mac pulled herself from the grasp of Madison and Clay upon hearing those words and on unsteady feet got as close to the edge as she dared, feeling her feet slip on the sandy rocks. "Sarah what are you doing?" Harm panted, daring to look up at her. "I came to watch you die," she told him with as much calmness as she could muster. "See when you let go of Keeter and go splat on the rocks down there, I'm going to be right behind you." With more deliberate calmness, she looked back at Clay and Madison. "Goodbye both of you. Take care of each other." With that she took another step downward, her feet sliding more in the sandy soil. Another step and she teetered dangerously, with Madison's scream of her name echoing through the still air. "Mac no. Oh God Mac no," Harm screeched. "Keeter get me up. Now." "Rabb you are perfectly pathetic," he groaned, and with one mighty effort, leaned backwards, hauling Harm high enough that he could get leverage on the dead tree with his feet. "Clay, Madison get Mac up from there," Harm screamed. "Mac go back. I'm fine." "Come on Mac, your job is done," Madison urged, stepping forward to reach for her. "Madison get back from there," Clay objected at once. "Let me get in there." "What good are you going to do with one arm," she retorted, reaching out for Mac. "Come on, let's back off and let the men get up here." Mac looked from Harm to Madison and back, unwilling to move at first. "Mac honey go. I'm fine and I can get out of here much easier if I know you're safe. Clay get both of them out of there." "Rabb what the hell do you think I've been trying to do," Clay exploded, taking Madison's arm. "Mac out of there. Now." Reluctantly, Mac stepped backwards, her feet still sliding, and she was grateful for Madison and Clay helping her. Shortly she was being guided to sit on a large rock and she gave a long sigh of relief and exhaustion, feeling dizziness threaten to overwhelm her. "Please, please get Harm," she begged. "Your wish is my command," Clay grinned, pushing Madison down next to her. "He'll be along directly. Promise." Mac put her head between her knees and closed her eyes, not moving until she felt a strong familiar-feeling hand pressing onto the top of her head. "Hey Marine." Before she could react he had pulled her to his feet and into his arms. For the next minute there was no one else in the world save the two of them as they clung together, their bodies pressed so tightly not even air could get between them. "Keeter nice job--thank you," Clay told him, pressing his hand into the older man's shoulder and a second later using it for support as his own injury caught up with him. "Hospital time," Keeter said firmly, turning Clay over to Madison's waiting arms. "Honestly Webb I can't take you anywhere," she whispered, holding him close. "Have I mentioned in the last ten minutes that I love you?" "Thank you," he smiled softly, just before he went limp in her arms, the last sound he heard being Keeter's call for a chopper. ============== Ohio State University Medical Center Several Hours Later Harm sat in the chair beside Mac's bed, still holding onto her hand while she slept. He'd only relinquished it when he'd been forced to and now there was nothing that would pull him away from her. "Everything okay buddy?" Keeter asked as he walked in. "Yeah they said she's going to be okay. How about you? You okay?" "Course. You know how hard headed I am," Keeter said as he leaned against the wall. "And the word from Madison is that Clay should be okay as well." "Thanks. I owe all you guys more than I'll ever be able to repay" Harm sighed. "No one's keeping a tab Harm. We're just glad Sergei is dead and he can't hurt you or Mac again." "Yeah so am. And I think now I can put this behind me once and for all. Before someone I care about gets hurt any worse than they already have." "You sure that's what you want to do?" Keeter prodded. "Yeah I think so" Harm sighed. "I have to realize that the past is the past and I have to let it go. My future is with Mac and I don't want anything to happen to her. So I need to let it go once and for all." The small murmur of his name from the bed made him turn his attention back to Mac and he quickly leaned forward. "It's okay honey," he said softly. "I'm right here and everything is okay." Brown eyes finally opened and she smiled softly at the sight of him. "Hi" she murmured. "I wasn't sure it was you." "It's me. Who else were you expecting?" "Me of course" Keeter teased. "How you doing Mac?" "I'm fine Keeter. You okay? And Clay?" "Everyone is fine" Harm assured her. "Madison is with Clay and he's going to be fine." "Are you okay?" she asked as she reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. "You've been through a lot sailor." "As long as I've got you I'll always be okay" Harm whispered. "Okay I think that's my cue to get out of here" Keeter smiled. "You two obviously want to be alone. I'll go check on Madison and Clay." He slipped from the room and Harm leaned closer to Mac and dropped a kiss on her lips. "I love you," he said softly. "I was so worried Sergei was going to hurt you." "I was terrified for you" Mac whispered. "He wanted to kill you and I knew he wouldn't stop until that happened." "He's dead and he can't hurt either of us again. And it's over now Mac. I'm not going on with this anymore. It's over." "Harm you're not serious" Mac gasped. "I know how much finding out what happened to your father means to you." "Not as much as you mean to me. You're my future Sarah. I have to let go of the past. As much as I want to find out the truth about my father, it's just something I may never find out. And I can live with that. I have you in my life. That's all that matters." ****************** JAG HQ's 3 Months Later "Lunch when I get out of court?" Harm asked as he stood in the doorway to Mac's office. "Of course" she smiled. "Good luck." "Singer doesn't have a chance" Harm smiled. "I'll see you later." "That's all?" she teased. After a quick glance towards the Admiral's office he hurried inside her office, allowing himself the luxury of a quick hug and kiss. In the three months since Sergei's death their relationship had deepened even more. Harm seemed to have put everything behind him and for that Mac was grateful. "Much better" she grinned when they parted. "I love you" he whispered. "I'll see you later. Don't forget we've got special plans tonight." "Yeah and I wish you'd clued me in on them" she sighed. "My secret. But I've got to run. I'll see you for lunch." ========== Three hours later she was concentrating on a brief at her desk when she heard feet behind her. Without looking up and her mind only half on what she was saying she mumbled, "Thank god. Starving marine here. You ready honey?" "I don't know about honey but I was born ready." Mac spun her chair around so hard that she crashed her knee into the edge of the desk. "Damn you Clay you're not funny." "Well it's a good thing I'm not the Admiral," he grinned. "Though maybe he'd enjoy you calling him honey." "He'd just add it to the psych notes he keeps on me. Are you here just to wreck my morning or do you have a purpose in life? How's Madison anyway?" "In Spain and I'm not happy, but that's a whole other story," he growled. "I need to talk to you. Where is Honey anyway?" "Court," she frowned. "Clay is this something about Sergei again?" "No--closed and dead issue. This is about his dad." Mac's face at once told how she felt. "You know I don't know if he's going to want this brought back up again." "That's why I'm telling you first," he nodded. "Take a spook to lunch?" When she hesitated, he went on. "Mac this is good stuff. It's been verified six ways to Sunday. After the Nguyen fiasco, I have new people in place there." "OK you can take me for a burger and you've got as long as it takes a starving Marine to down a Whopper with fries that this is stuff he needs to know about." "By the time you get to the pickle you'll be convinced," he promised. "I've even got art." ============ JAG HQ 1 Hr. Later A less than pleased Commander strode from the courtroom, tired from his morning wrangle with a civilian attorney and starved besides, plus his mind on the evening and the specialness of it. "Perfect. Perrrr-fect," he groaned, seeing her office was empty and he quickly strode toward Tiner's desk. "Commander how was court?" AJ waylaid him at the mail sorting site. "Ranked right up there with my last root canal in pleasure sir," he replied. "Sir I know it's not your week to watch her, but my partner and I had a lunch date and. . ." "Oh yeah? Too bad. I think Mr. Webb beat you out today old man. A little competition there?" "Not hardly." "Sir," he added hastily. "I have no idea what's going on there. I'm still reeling from court. If I kill Ms. Langly, I just hope Mac defends me. Now you said you saw her and Webb sir?" "And I am again now," AJ replied, gesturing out the window as Clay pulled up out front and a windblown Marine alighted from his convertible. "Like I said Commander, a little competition there?" "Not on his best day sir," he smiled. "Excuse me please." He waited inside the entryway for her and when she got through the door stepped in front of her. "I thought we had a lunch date. Remember me--your partner." He lowered his voice before adding, "and the man who loves you." "Harm," she gasped in surprise. "You're out of court." "No it's my clone. What happened to our lunch date? Never mind, I know. Clay happened." "Not intentionally," she sighed. "But yeah he wanted to talk to me, and I want to tell you what he said, but on the way back I got a call from the brig at the Navy Yard. Lieutenant Sawyer wants to see me right away and he can't wait because he's leaving town. Otherwise I was prepared to have a second lunch with you." She looked up at him, her brown eyes reflecting the misery she felt. "I'm sorry Harm. I only came back here to get the case file and the car. I'll make it up to you." "Yes you will, and we have tonight," he smiled. "Go, just be careful. Call me soon as you're free so I know you're on your way." "Yeah OK," she nodded, attempting to turn away before he could spot the look on her face. Not in time. "Mac talk to me," he said at once. "No thanks. I'm in a hurry and I'm fine." No way was she going to admit to being made slightly ill by the pictures Clay had shown her over their burgers and fries. "Okay" he said quietly. "I guess I'll see you later." "Harm I'm sorry" she sighed. "When I get back we'll talk. I promise. But I have to go now." "I know you do. I'll see you later." Three hours later she returned to JAG HQ's and quietly walked into his office where he was intently reading a brief. "Hi" she said softly. "Hi" he sighed as he looked up at her. "Did you get everything squared away with Lt. Sawyer?" "Yes. All set." "So we're ready for our dinner?" he smiled as he thought about the evening he'd planned. A special little box tucked away in the drawer of his dresser would be the final cap to a wonderful evening. "Harm we need to talk" she said quietly. "It's important." "What's wrong?" he demanded. "Mac you're scaring me. What's wrong?" "Why don't we go down to the conference room?" she suggested as she reached for his hand. "There's more room in there for us to talk and less people watching." "You're leaving me" he whispered. "Good god no" she shrieked. "Why would you even think that?" "I don't know but I know I'm not going to like what you're going to say." "No you're not" she sighed. "But you still need to hear it." Quietly she led him to the conference room, closing and locking the door behind her. With a long sigh she turned back to him, glad to see he was sitting down. She took the chair beside him and reached for his hands. "You know Clay was here earlier" she said softly. "And he didn't come by for just a social visit." "No" Harm said as he shook his head. "Don't even say this is about my father again Mac. It's over. You know that. I don't even want to discuss it." "I know it's over" she whispered. "And that's what I'm trying to tell you. It's is over." For a moment he froze and she took a deep breath before continuing on. "Clay got information from Vietnam that they've found another site with MIA remains." "Oh god" he whispered as she squeezed his hand. "They think. . ." His voice trailed off and Mac felt her own tears brim as she saw his eyes pool with tears. "They think your Dad's remains are there too" Mac finished tearfully. "I'm sorry Harm. I wish you didn't have to go through all this again. But I'm going to go there with you" "Go where? Not to Vietnam you're not." "You think I'm letting you go alone" she retorted. "No way. Harm you can't go through this alone and there's no way I would even consider staying behind while you did go." "No" he shouted. "I don't want you going. And Clay should never have told you about this." "This is exactly why he told me. Because he knew if he didn't you would never tell me. And he know as well as I do that you can't do this alone." "I don't want you over there. God I almost lost you the last time we were there. I can't go through that again." "And I can't sit here while you go over there and find the remains of your father" she whispered. "I love you and I will not let you go through that alone." "I don't want to lose you" he whispered tearfully. "If anything happened to you I would die Sarah." "Nothing is going to happen to me" she said softly as she drew him into her arms. "And I feel the same way. That's why I'm going with you." "Who else is going?" he asked quietly. "Clay of course. Madison is in Spain otherwise she'd be going. Some forensic specialists and of course some people from State to smooth things over." "I want Terri to come" he said as he pulled away to look at her. "She's the best there is when it comes to this stuff." "I'll mention it to Clay. I'm sure that won't be a problem." "This is really it then?" he whispered. "You never gave up hoping he might be alive did you?" she said softly as her hand stroked his back. "Even though you said you'd let it go, you always kept hoping he might be alive somewhere." "I knew it was a long shot" he whispered, his green eyes wet with tears again. "But until someone told me for sure, no I never stopped hoping." "I'm so sorry" she said as she pulled him into her arms again. She held him tightly as he gave into the tears, his soft cries tearing at her heart. It was unfair that he had to go through this again. But like before she would be there for him. No matter what. "You know we don't either of us have to do this," she reminded him. "The MIA recovery team will send an honor detail to bring them back. And then we could meet the plane. Terri too." For a long minute he considered her words, weighing whether he wanted to risk taking her against how much he wanted to be the one to return his father's body. "Harm?" she prompted. "This has to be your decision. But if you want to know what I think--after all I'm only the woman who loves you." He raised his head with a wry smile and she kissed his damp cheeks. "Yeah of course I want to know." "You and me. We can do this together. We can represent the U.S. in bringing these guys home, your father included." "I'm scared," he whispered, making a futile attempt to wipe his face. "Scared of what could happen to you." "I won't let you go alone. You know that. If you try, I'll just follow you. So when you think about it, you know that I'll be a lot safer with you." "I don't deserve you. And you don't deserve the crap you've been through because of me, and because of Sergei," he choked, shuddering long and hard at the memories the Russian name evoked. "What isn't deserved is what happened with your father that brought all this about," she corrected. "Now we're just putting it right." ================ Twenty Four Hours later. Dulles International Airport "How's he holding up?" Clay asked Mac, nodding to where Harm was standing by the window, watching the big plane be loaded. "I can't read him. I think he's OK, and then I look into his eyes and then I don't." "He's going to do this," she assured him. "Correction--we're going to do this together. And then it will be over, and our life together can begin for real." "He wants to marry you, you know that don't you," he smiled softly. "No more than I want to marry him," she replied, squeezing Clay's arm and walking over to Harm. "Hey sailor. The brooding lamp is no longer lit." "I'm not real good company right now," he murmured warningly. "I know, but that never stopped me before." She wrapped strong arms around his body, holding him fast. A momentary reflex action to get away was quelled by her strength and he relaxed in her grasp. "I love you," she whispered, resting her head against him. It was in that pose they remained until the flight was boarded. Many hours later they came to land in Tokyo, the first part of the journey done. Overnight in the Japanese capital and then as before, a flight into Ho Chi Minh City. Clearing customs, they made their way through the double doors in the throng of milling people. "About time you got here." Clay whirled around at once, instantly recognizing the voice. "Madison," he breathed before she hurtled into his arms. "How?" he managed as Mac and Harm looked on with bemusement. "I was coming to surprise you in DC. The case wrapped way early. Dominguez committed suicide." Clay did not miss the haunted look in her eyes and he hugged her close. "I'm sorry. Are you OK?" "I am now. I had to see you," she whispered. "So when I got your message I changed my flight to Tokyo from D.C." "I'm glad," he sighed. "When you want to talk, I'm there." "I know and I will. Much as I'm glad to see Harm and Mac, you think we could have a little dinner tonight, just us. In our room? Our room as in you and me, one room one bed." "I love a woman who knows what she wants," Clay laughed, his arm around her shoulders as they followed Mac and Harm out to the taxi stand. *************** "Morning sailor" Mac yawned the next morning as she awoke and looked over at the man beside her. "How are you?" He gave her a wan smile and she could tell from the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't slept. "I'm hanging in there" he sighed. "You okay?" "Fine. Much more worried about you. Why didn't you sleep?" "Too many things on my mind. And too worried about something happening to you. Like it did last time." "Harm nothing is going to happen" she sighed. "I wish you would have tried to get some sleep." "It wouldn't have worked anyway." "You know maybe this wasn't such a good idea having you come over here," she said quietly. "I think this is too much for you." "I'll be okay," he said with another forced smile. "As long as I have you I will be." "You've always got me" she whispered as she snuggled closer to him. "Do you think we should go knock on Clay and Madison's door and see if they want to get breakfast?" "Maybe you should call first" Harm smiled. "I think they were looking forward to some reconnection time and I don't want to interrupt anything." **************** "God I've missed you" Clay murmured as he woke up to see Madison staring at him. "Me too" she whispered. "You want to tell me what happened in Spain?" he asked as he pushed himself up on the pillow and pulled her against him. "Not really" she sighed. "It's not pleasant and right now I'd rather not think about it." "Madison" he prodded. "You know you shouldn't hold these things in. Talk to me. This is the guy who loves you remember." "There's not much to tell. We had Dominquez. He was going to confess and tell us everything and we were going to make a deal with him. But when I came back the next morning he was dead. He'd hung himself." "Oh god I'm sorry" Clay murmured. "It was awful" she sniffled. "As many times as I've seen it, it doesn't make it any easier." "No it doesn't" Clay said gently. "And it's okay to let it all out honey. I'm here for you remember." For the next several minutes he held her tightly as she cried, kissing away her tears when she finished. "I'm sorry. I should be able to handle this by now." "No you shouldn't. And I'm just sorry I wasn't there with you." "You're a good man Clayton Webb" she whispered. "And I am so glad you're in my life again." "So am I" he smiled. "You up for breakfast with Harm and Mac before we head out of here?" "Yeah I feel bad about leaving them alone last night but Harm looked like he wasn't up to much anyway." "No this has hit him pretty hard" Clay sighed. "And I feel so bad being the one to shatter his hopes like this. But now he and Mac can move on." "They love each other very much don't they?" Madison smiled. "Yeah they do. And I'm glad she's here with him. He needs her." ****************** En Route to Ho Chi Minh City "Sleep sailor" Mac whispered as she gently stroked Harm's forehead. His exhaustion had finally caught up and once the plane had been airborne, he'd fallen asleep. "How's he doing?" Madison asked softly. "He was real quiet during breakfast." "He'll be better when it's all over" Mac sighed. "It's just been very emotional for him. And of course he's barely over the whole Sergei mess." "Well at least he has you" Madison smiled. "That he does" Mac murmured as she stroked his forehead again. He managed a few hours sleep before he started to toss and turn in his sleep before finally waking with a start. "Hey it's okay" Mac soothed as she reached for his hand. "I'm right here." Full awareness finally returned and he took a deep breath. "I'm okay," he said finally. "Just having a bit of déjà vu after the last trip." "I wish you'd stop worrying," she said gently. "It's going to be okay." They landed in Ho Chi Minh City several hours later and were met at the airport by Clay's people. Clay spoke rapidly to the three men who had met them while Harm waited with Madison and Mac, his hand tightly wrapped around Mac's, as if he was afraid she could be taken from him. "They'll be at the hotel at dawn to take us to the area," Clay reported. "It's accessible by jeep so that's not bad. Could be a lot worse." "You trust these guys?" Harm demanded, giving their departing backs a quick look. "I know we were burned before, but yeah I do. There's been verification from a couple of different sides. "OK. Sorry if I seem so spooked--and pardon the expression--but you know this place haunts my nightmares." Mac squeezed his hand and reached up to kiss his cheek. "Easy Sailor. You're not alone. Not now, not ever, past or future." "I know. Sorry. I'm in a mood I can't shake. Sorry." "You sorry'd twice," she smiled. "Look, just for tonight, let's forget this OK. Let's go to the hotel, clean up, nap off some of this jetlag and have some good Vietnamese cooking. Can we do that?" "Of course we can." He managed a small smile. "But about that nap--I don't know how much sleeping we'll get done." "Rabb I like how you think," Clay smiled, nodding to Madison. "You've missed her," Mac laughed. "Big time," Clay confirmed. "Very big time. I'm ready to continue our reunion." It was a more relaxed Harmon Rabb who emerged with Mac later for dinner, meeting a similarly smiling Clay and Madison. "Looks like we all had a pleasant afternoon," he grinned. Mac stepped up to Madison and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about your case. I didn't get a chance to tell you before. I don't do death well at all, so I can totally sympathize with how you must feel." "It was awful," she nodded quietly. "I was walking toward his room, chattering away, thinking he's listening to me and then suddenly there was just feet dangling in front of me." "Then you haven't seen the pictures Clay has?" "He offered, I declined," she smiled softly. "Yeah I wish I had of," Mac sighed and glared playfully at Clay. "But he didn't give me the option, and this was over a double whopper." "It will be over soon. Promise," Clay smiled, "and anyway, quit monopolizing my date. I haven't seen her for three weeks." He hooked his arm around Madison's neck and gave her a quick kiss. "I guess I now know what we look like," Harm laughed, watching Clay and Madison walk ahead of them. "He loves her doesn't he. And she him." It was a statement not a question, but Mac nodded anyway. "They lost their chance once, now they're finding it again." "And how many times have we almost lost ours?" "Way too many Flyboy," she whispered seriously. "But we're finding our way now. It's been a helluva year, but it's almost over. You're doing a little better aren't you?" "Well making love to a beautiful woman helps," he whispered back. "But yeah I am. I've accepted it I think. And as long as you're with me I'll be OK. I hate like hell that's the way it is because if I had the sense God gave a grape I'd have made you stay behind after last time. But no, Selfish Rabb wants you with him to hold his hand." "Which is exactly where I belong," she reminded him firmly. "We started this together and we're going to finish it together." "And this is why I keep saying I don't deserve you," he sighed, a tearful note in his voice. "Yes you do. And I love you very much. Don't ever forget that." ************ The jeep was waiting as promised the next morning and it was a subdued group that climbed in. Clay did all the talking while Harm and Mac sat quietly in the very back seats. "All set" Clay said when he finally sat down in the seat in front of them, Madison beside him. "We'll be there in a few hours." "Thanks Clay" Mac murmured as she held onto Harm's hand tightly. Little was said on the trip to the hills and when the jeep finally pulled to a stop Mac felt Harm tense beside her. "You okay?" she asked gently. "Just don't let go" he whispered as he squeezed her hand tighter. "I'm here sailor. I'll never leave you." "We have a little walk to the site" Clay explained as his men led them through the area. "It's not that far." He reached for Madison's hand while Harm clung to Mac's and slowly they made their way through the thick trees. Finally they came to a stop at the remnants of a makeshift building, now almost completely covered by the jungle growth. "Madison maybe you should wait out here" Clay said quietly. "No it's okay" she assured him. "I'll be okay." She looked over at Harm who looked anything but and Mac tightened her grip on his hand. "You sure you want to do this" Mac said softly. "You don't have to. No one would blame you for not wanting to." He nodded but said nothing and moment's later they walked into what was left of the building. Clay's man quietly pointed to the left corner of room and he nodded and looked back at Harm and Mac who were now looking in that direction as well. "Harm" Mac whispered as he slowly stepped forward towards the bones that lay on the ground. He knelt down and she hurried to his side as he reached for something that had been on the skeleton. With trembling hands he handed her the set of dog tags without looking at them. "Is it him?" he whispered, the tears already running down his face. With a deep breath she looked at the tags in her hand, her own tears starting as she read the name. "Yes" she managed. "Oh Harm I'm so sorry." She reached for him and together they sank to the ground as he buried his face against her as they both cried. Clay reached for Madison's hand and motioned for the men to follow him and Madison outside. "You okay?" Clay asked Madison when they were outside. Her own eyes were wet with tears and she nodded as he wrapped his arms around her. "Just hold me" she whispered. "Please." Inside Mac continued to hold onto Harm as the tears continued. Finally he raised his head to look at her and Mac's heart ached as she looked at him. "I'm so sorry," she said softly. "Are you okay?" "I don't know" he whispered. "It's really him isn't it? He was here all the time. He never left here. God only knows how long he was a POW before he died." His words ended with a sob and she once again drew him close to her. "I'm sorry. I wish so much that it hadn't ended this way." She could only hold him and they remained that way for several minutes, their tears mixing together. It wasn't until Clay and Madison came back in that he finally lifted his head from Mac's shoulder. "You two okay?" Clay asked. "We've been better," Mac said softly as Harm dropped his head against her chest. "I'm sorry Harm. I wish this time I'd been wrong." "It's over now," Harm said quietly without looking up at them. "I know the truth. He died here in this god forsaken country after being in this hell hole for god knows how long." Tears brimmed again and he angrily wiped them away. "Harm I don't know what to say," Clay added. "Except sorry. It was a horrible time in our country's existence. A war we were never destined to win, except we didn't know that until fifty-eight thousand of our best were gone." "Yeah." "And you know it's not over yet. We've got to make arrangements to get these men out of here, back to Dover, for DNA and then their families notified." "I want Terri." "Excuse me?" Harm lifted his head from Mac's shoulder. "Lieutenant Commander Teresa Coulter. I want her to confirm that's my father. She's the only one I'll trust to do it, and with the dignity and respect the job deserves." "I'll fix it," Clay told him. "OK we're through here?" "Yeah." Harm's arm slipped around Mac and he turned her back toward the way they had come when he stopped suddenly. "No. Not yet. I want to try to say goodbye. Sarah come with me?" "Of course." His arm shook where it held her and she rested her head against him as they walked back inside. With deliberate steps he strode to the body, kneeling down again. "Dad I'm going to make sure you're sent home. But first I need for you to know something. This is Sarah. I love her so much Dad. I wish you could have known her. And I really wish she could have known you." "Hey I do Flyboy," she whispered softly. "I know him through you." Harm nodded and got to his feet, taking his father's dogtags from her hand and dropping them around his own neck. "OK I'm ready. I'll say my final goodbye at the burial." ============ DOVER AFB Delaware 4 Days Later In formal uniform, Harm and Mac stood by while the giant C5A was off loaded. The honor guard came to attention and Harm and Mac saluted, as did Lt. Cdr. Coulter standing slightly behind. Once the four caskets were inside the building, the gathering dispersed and Harm's shoulders at once slumped noticeably. "Hold it together Sailor. You're doing good, and I'm here," she soothed. "And that's the only thing keeping me together," he said quietly. "This is a hundred times harder than I thought it would be." "We're handling it together," she reminded him, not letting the fact that they were in uniform keep her from taking his hand. "Terri you're all set?" "Ready to work," she nodded. "Harm, there's nothing more you can do here. He's in good hands. You know that. That's why you called me. Now what did you promise you were going to do for the rest of the day?" "Terri I. . ." he stammered, looking from her to Mac to the door through which the caskets were carried. "Harm you promised," Terry admonished him. "I can't work knowing you're hovering outside the door. It's a beautiful day--go. Now." "Harm you did promise," Mac reminded him quietly. "OK I can't stand up to both of you," he sighed. "Terri I'll have my cell if you need me." "I won't." ================= BROWER's BEACH, DE. An hour later they had changed out of their uniforms and were walking in ankle deep surf along the beach, hand in hand, no words exchanged until Mac reached over to touch the dogtags now hanging on the outside of his T-shirt. "You put his MIA bracelet away," she said softly. "What are you going to do with these?" "I don't know" he sighed. "I hadn't even thought about it. I guess they should go with him." "I'm sorry you have to go through all this again." "At least he's home now. He can be buried with the honors he deserves. I just hope I can make it through that. I know I'm going to lose it when I see Mom. I'm barely holding it together as it is." "I know. But I'm here remember. We'll get through this together." "Have I thanked you for all this" he whispered. "For being here for me. For loving me." "Not thanks necessary," she said softly. "I'm always here for you. Because I love you." She drew him into her arms and held him tightly for several minutes before he pulled away, wiping the stray tears way. "You okay?" she asked. "As long as I have you" he sighed as he looped his arm around her waist. ************** Twenty Four Hours Later "Hi guys" Terri said softly as he and Mac walked into the small office she'd been using. Her tone said everything and Mac reached for Harm's hand, holding it tightly in his. "It's him" Harm whispered and Terri nodded. "Yes it is. I'm sorry Harm." He nodded and Mac pulled him into her arms. "I need to tell Mom" he whispered. "How do I call her and tell her I found Dad?" "Do you want me to do it?" she said softly. "No she needs to hear it from me" he sighed as he pulled away. "God, I hate to do this to her." "She's a strong woman. She'll be okay. It's you I'm more worried about. You never let go of the hope that he might be alive." "No I didn't. Even now I still can't believe it's really over. That's he's dead and I'm never going to see him again." "Harm is there anything I can do?" Terri asked quietly. "Tell me how he died" Harm whispered and Mac took his hand in hers again. "Please. I need to know." "I can do that," she said softly. "And hopefully hearing this will make it a little easier for you." "Just tell me he didn't suffer there long" Harm begged. "He didn't. The injuries that killed your father were consistent with those that a pilot would receive during an ejection. I'm not sure this is any easier to hear but he probably didn't live for more than a few hours after it happened. Likely they took him prisoner but realized he was too badly injured and simply left him there." He simply nodded as the tears fell and Mac once again pulled him into her arms. "I'm sorry" she whispered as she held him tightly. "I'm so sorry." "I'll be outside Mac" Terri said softly. "If you need anything just holler." Mac nodded and Terri gave Harm's shoulder a sympathetic pat before walking out and leaving them alone. It was several minutes before he finally raised his head and looked at Mac. "We should call Mom" he whispered. "She needs to know." "Of course" Mac said softly as she squeezed his hand. "Are you sure you don't want me to do this?" "No. I think I can do it," he said with a long sigh. "But just in case please don't leave me alone." "Not going anywhere" she assured him. "You want to do this now?" He nodded and reached for the phone on the desk. With slightly trembling fingers he dialed the familiar number and waited for someone to answer. He had to take a deep breath when Trish answered and for a moment Mac thought she was going to have to take the phone. "Hi Mom" he managed finally. "Harm what's wrong?" Trish demanded at once. "Are you and Mac okay?" "We're fine Mom" he whispered. He hadn't realized how hard this would be and he wasn't sure he could do it. "Harm you're scaring me. You're obviously not fine and I want to know what's wrong." "It's about Dad," he said quietly as the tears slowly slid down his face. "I found him Mom. In Vietnam." "You found your father's remains is that what you're saying Harm?" Her voice caught as she spoke and Harm could hear her sob softly. "Yes ma'am. He's. . .look this is just too hard. He died that night Mom. The night he punched out. He never went to Russia, and he was never a POW. We're going to bury him in Arlington. You and Frank and Grams. . ." With a long shudder Harm handed Mac the phone. "Hi Mrs. Burnett." She attempted to hold both the phone and Harm at the same time. "It's Mac. I'm so sorry first of all." "Hello dear. Thank you. Is Harm all right?" "No ma'am not really but we're going to see this thing through together. Will you and Frank come for the burial? Full military honors at Arlington as an officer killed in action." "Of course we will. I'm going to talk to Frank right now and I'll call you back." There was a long silence and she spoke again. "Mac take care of my son will you?" "Yes ma'am. Always." With that she broke the connection and wrapped her arms around Harm. "Let's go mister. Nothing more we can do here." His expression was one of total blankness as she guided him back out, stopping in front of Terri. "Thanks for all you did," Mac told her. "You are very welcome. And I'll be at Arlington." "Thanks Terri," Harm nodded, his hand flailing for Mac's. They walked slowly away, neither speaking until Harm shuddered slightly and turned to her. "I want to go back to the beach, and then I want to go back to D.C. tonight. Can we do that?" "Whatever works for you," Mac assured him. "Just don't shut me out OK? I love you and I want to see this through with you." "I'm trying not to," he sighed. "But right now I just feel like I've got so many balls in the air that I'm going to make one mis-step and lose it all." "Not if you let me help juggle," she smiled. An hour later they were back at the beach, standing high above the water this time on the edge of a dune, watching the waves crash below them as high tide rolled in. Harm fingered his father's dog tags, still hanging from his neck. "I was going to give these to Terri for the casket," he murmured, taking them off. "Did you change your mind?" she asked gently. He looked at her for a long several seconds and then wrapped the chain around the thin pieces of metal. To her unfaltering surprise he raised his arm over his head and in a motion that would rival a big league pitcher's, he heaved them into the ocean. "OK honey, let's go home." ***************** Two Days Later The day dawned cool and gray, matching Harm's mood. Mac had done her best to console her sailor but she knew nothing would take away his pain. The meeting with Trish and Frank the day before at the airport had been heart breaking to watch and she knew today would be even harder for him. "How you doing?" she asked softly as she met him in the kitchen of his place. She'd all but moved in with him, not willing to be apart from him now when he needed her most. The look on his face told her everything and she reached for him, holding him close to her. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this" he whispered. "I'll be at your side the whole time. You're not going through this alone. And Clay and Madison and Terri will all be there as well. And I'm sure Bud and Harriet and the Admiral will be as well. We're all here for you Harm. You're not alone." He gave her a weak smile as he pulled away. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life." "Not as lucky as I am to have you" she said softly. "And I hate to be the one to say this it's that time." "I know. I just have to get one thing and then I'll be ready." She nodded and waited while he went to his bedroom. A few seconds later he returned and with a deep breath reached for her hand. ***************** Arlington National Cemetery 1 Hour later The clip clop of the horses echoed through the silent fields of Arlington as the caisson was pulled down the lane to the final resting place of Lt. Harmon Rabb. It came to a stop a moment later and with a crisp salute the casket was lifted from the caisson and carried to the gravesite. Harm's hand was firmly in Mac's as the casket was lowered to the platform in front of where they were sitting. Beside him, Mac swallowed hard to keep back her own tears as she heard Trish's quiet sobs. Harm reached for his mother's hand with his free one, trying to be strong for both of them. Behind them, all their friends stood in silent support. Clay and Madison and Bud and Harriet were right behind them, Terri, Keeter and AJ right there as well. He made it through the ceremony; blocking out the Chaplains words as he did he best to maintain his composure. It wasn't until the gun salute and the bugler began to play "Taps" that he lost the battle with the tears. Mac heard his muffled sob and immediately reached her arm around him and pulled him closer to her, her own tears falling at the sound of his. The flag was folded and handed to the Chaplain who quietly walked over to Trish. "On behalf of the President of the United States, a grateful nation, and a proud Navy, this flag is presented as a token of our appreciation for the honorable and faithful service rendered by Lt. Harmon Rabb SR to his country and Navy" the Chaplain said softly as he handed the flag to Trish. Shaking hands reached for the flag before holding it tightly to her chest. Moments later she turned to her son and handed it to him. Harm's tears ran unchecked as Trish then reached for him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you for bringing him home" Trish whispered as she held him. "He would have been so proud of you." Harm could only nod as he hugged his Mom. Finally she let go and with Frank's assistance stood up as the representative from Arlington announced that the conclusion of the ceremony. Harm remained seated; the flag still clutched against his chest as he stared at the casket. "Harm" Mac said softly as she stroked his arm. "Are you okay?" He shook his head and she turned as Clay gently tapped her shoulder, Madison beside him. "Hi guys" she sniffled as she stood up and giving him and Madison a hug. Harm finally looked back at them and Clay sat down beside his friend. "You okay?" Clay asked quietly. "I don't know Clay" he sniffled as he wiped away the tears. "I know this isn't easy. But just remember you have Mac in your life. She loves you. Don't ever forget that." "She's the only reason I've made it this far" Harm whispered. "I couldn't have done this alone." "I know. And you don't have to be alone anymore." "Thanks for helping me bring him home," Harm said softly as he looked at the casket again. "For giving him the proper burial he deserved." "Your welcome. If you need anything, call. Don't be a stranger Harm. We're better friends than that now." "I know" Harm said as he looked back at his friend. "I owe you more than I'll ever be able to repay." "Not keeping score" Clay assured him. "I just hope now you can put this behind you and move on with Mac." "I plan on it" he whispered. He managed to get through greeting the rest of his friends and finally he and Mac stood alone at the site, with the exception of the soldier who remained to guard the casket until it was interred into the ground. "Can we have a few moments alone?" Harm said to the man. The man nodded and turned and walked a few steps away, giving Harm the privacy he needed. "Do you want to say goodbye alone?" Mac asked softly as she walked with him to the casket. "No this time I need you here" he whispered as he reached for her hand. He stood in silence for a moment, saying a simple prayer, and then took both their hands and placed them on the smooth bronze. "Dad I've told you often enough how much this woman means to me," he said softly. "And now before we say goodbye for the last time, I want you to know something. She's going to be my wife. At least she will be if she accepts this." Before Mac could do more than give him a wide eyed stare, Harm and produced the ring from his pocket and placed it on her finger, sliding it easily into place. "I love you Sarah and we don't need to wait any longer. It's over. Sergei is dead. Dad is buried. I want you to marry me--soonest. We have a baby promise to make good on besides." Tears sprang to her eyes as she knew they would and she dabbed at them ineffectually while he smiled softly. Just about the first real smile she had seen from him since Clay's call. "So are those tears because you're happy I asked? Or because you don't know how to tell me that the answer is no." At once she flung her arms around him, kissing him long and lovingly. "Of course I'll marry you Flyboy. When? Can we get the chaplain back?" =============== She was to spend not another night in her apartment. With his ring on her finger, she simply moved the few things that were actually her own into his place. A month later, in a small church resplendent in Christmas red and greens, on the eve of the holiday marking the birth of the Christ-child, Harmon David Rabb married Sarah Catherine Mackenzie. And in Autumn of that following year, with the trees of Arlington National Cemetery showing off their best reds and golds, a man and a woman made the trek up one of the long paths. It was a big day in the life of a small baby. On this day, Jared David Rabb would meet his grandfather. THE END