TITLE:  “Past Present Future VII---On to Beloyka ”
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
SUMMARY:  The seventh chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters 
of Lt. 
Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited.  All will be Harm-Mac 
stories of 
course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and violence.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement 
is intended with this work of fiction.
FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you’re moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it 
would be 
much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you are 
not liking our work, please don’t spend the time.  While we realize our 
work does 
not please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.


            NOTE:  All parts of this story, as well as much of our 
previous efforts, will 
be available at 
                     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
              No subbing is required to read from the message archives.
       
           Also, previous chapters, as well as our other efforts, 
should be available at:
          http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/
                        or the
       Harm-Mac shipper archive at-  
           http://www.shipperarchive.com/fanfic/

Previously in the PPF series:  Forced to come to Russia to determine 
Clay’s fate, 
Harm and Mac meet up with him, only to have him convince them to travel 
to 
Beloyka and Pitchta in a continued attempt to learn the truth.  Part 
way to their 
destination, their train is wrecked, trapping Mac under debris in a 
wayward car.

Note:  For purposes of this story, the events of any episode after 
Adrift do not play 
a part.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Past Present Future VII-On to Beloyka”

"I don't want to hear it," Harm snapped, unable to reach Mac for a 
piece of 
wreckage in the way.  He knew he was being unreasonable and at that 
moment he 
did not care.  All he wanted was to hold the woman he loved, to know 
that she was 
going to be all right.

"OK, but you are going to let me help.  I care about her too," Clay 
growled, 
reaching out with Harm, who glared but said nothing, moving slightly to 
let Clay 
help him move the large piece of tangled metal that was hanging over 
her.

Harm reached his hand out once more, only to draw it back to his chest, 
finding 
that he was trembling too badly, and too afraid, to even touch her.  
"Clay?  Please."

At once Clay's hand shot out, closing around the small wrist.  For a 
long several 
seconds he did not move, nor even breathe, and when he looked back to 
Harm his 
face was tortured.  "Harm I'm sorry."

"NO."  The word tore from his lips and echoed across the Siberian 
fields beyond.  
"NOOOoooo."

With renewed effort he grabbed at the wreckage, the metal shredding his 
hands as 
he did do.  With Clay's help he managed to free her enough that he 
could get to 
her.  He bent low to check for breathing, his hand again checking for 
pulse.  "No, 
no I won't let her die," he gasped.  "Without her I'm. . ." He left the 
thought 
unfinished, instead beginning CPR, rescue breaths and then chest 
compressions 
until he was panting hard and still had not managed to restore her 
breathing.    

"My turn," Clay told him finally.  "You're not getting anywhere."

"No I don't want you to touch her," he growled, lifting her into his 
arms.  "She's 
dead, and I want to die with her."

"I said let me try," Clay ordered roughly.  "Put her down and let me 
try you stupid 
sonofabitch before there is no chance."

Stung by his words, Harm did exactly that, turning away so he would not 
have to 
see her in death.

Clay repositioned her and just before his mouth closed over hers, 
whispered so 
that only she would be able to hear, "Sarah, Harm is right here.  And 
if you die now, 
he's going to die too.  I'm going to help you, but you need to come 
back to him."  
He made five quick breaths and as soon as he finished the fifth, she 
coughed 
slightly.  "Come on Sarah," he whispered, looking to Harm and seeing 
that he 
wasn't watching them, his face buried in his hands.

"Harm?"  Her voice was barely audible, but it was there.  "Harm?"

"Rabb get over here.  Someone wants a word with you."  Clay reached for 
his arm, 
tugging him urgently.

For a moment he didn't move and it wasn't until he heard her softly 
call his 
 name that he finally turned around.
 
 "Sarah" he cried as he pushed Clay out of the way.
 
 "Hi" she managed weakly.
 
 "Shh, don't talk" he urged. "We're going to get you out of here and 
you're 
 going to be fine. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. You 
just 
 hang in there. Please."
 
 She nodded slightly and his hand squeezed hers tightly. "You're going 
to be 
 okay" he continued as the tears slid down his face. "You hear me 
Marine."
 
 "You okay?" she whispered softly as she tried to bring her other hand 
up to 
 wipe his tears, managing to touch his face briefly before it fell 
back.
 
 "Only if you are" he said with a small sob. "Please don't leave me 
Sarah. I 
 need you. I…" The word stuck in his throat and as her eyes closed he 
finally 
 whispered the words. "I love you."
 
 "Harm, come on" Clay said as he gently pushed forward again. "We need 
to get 
 her out of here and see if there's any kind of help on the way."
 
 Harm nodded and as he gently cradled her against him for a minute. 
Moments 
 later there were loud voices in Russian and several men in medic 
uniforms 
 hurried into the car.
 
 "Clay tell them she's hurt bad" Harm ordered. "She needs to get to a  
 hospital immediately.
 
 "Harm I don't know that much Russian" Clay sighed.
 
 "Dammit Clay, we need help here now" Harm shouted.
 
 "She hurt bad" one of the men said in broken English and Harm nodded.
 "Very. We need to get her to the hospital right away. Please"
 
 The man knelt down beside them and quickly looked over Mac before 
saying 
 something to the others in Russian that neither Harm nor Clay 
understood. 
 Finally he looked over at Harm. "Hospital few kilometers away. We take 
her 
 there with the others that are hurt."
 
 "We're going with her" Harm said as he lifted Mac into his arms, 
praying he 
 wasn't hurting her any more than she already was. He carried her out 
of the 
 crumbled car and to the large truck they were using as a makeshift 
 ambulance.
 
 As promised the hospital wasn't far and immediately Mac was taken from 
him, 
 a large woman he guessed to be a nurse stopping him at the door. She 
rambled 
 something in Russian as she gave him a push back into the tiny waiting 
room 
 and he gave Clay a dagger look.
 
 "Harm I'm sorry" Clay tried.
 
 "Leave me alone" Harm shouted. "If she dies, its on your head Clay. 
None of 
 this would be happening if you had left well enough alone. I was okay 
with 
 the fact that dad was dead. I'd gotten over it. But I will never get 
over 
 losing Mac if she doesn't live. And I will never forgive you for 
this."
 
 He walked away and Clay let out a long sigh. He knew Harm was right 
and his 
 own guilt was eating him up. Mac meant a lot to him too and he hated 
that he 
 hadn't listened to Harm. He hadn't wanted to hurt either of his 
friends but 
 that's exactly what he'd done. He reached for his cell phone to call 
Alexei, 
 knowing they were going to need someone to help them translate.
 
 "Alexei, it's Clay" he said when he answered. "We need your help. 
Now."
 
 "Boss I was just going to call you. I have new information from 
Beloyka. It 
 is not good."
 
 "Just get here and then you can tell me your bad news" Clay sighed. 
"We're 
 about three hours out of Moscow.  There was an accident."
 
 "Oh dear, is beautiful Colonel and the Commander okay?"
 
 "No she's not" Clay said quietly. "That's why I need you here. Harm 
and I 
 don't speak Russian and we need someone to find out for us how badly 
she's 
 hurt."
 
 "I will be there as soon as I can" Alexei promised.
 
 ***********************
 Harm had wandered outside the small hospital, needing some air. 
Despite the 
 cold he sank down on the bench in the small courtyard outside the 
church. He 
 knew he was unfairly blaming Clay for what had happened, but at the 
moment 
 he didn’t care.  He had known something would happen on this trip and 
 neither of them would listen to him. And now if may very well have 
cost him 
 the woman he loved.
 
 "Dear Lord, please don't take her away" he whispered with a glance 
 heavenward. "Please. I love her more than life itself. My life is 
nothing 
 without her. Please don't take her."
 
Having seen the direction in which he had gone, Clay stood behind him, 
hearing 
his murmuring, keeping his distance until he was finished and had begun 
to walk 
again.

"Harm."

Harm swung around at his name, studying Clay's face, afraid to ask.

"No I don't know anything," Clay assured him quickly.  "I just came to 
check on you.  
I can't find out anything.  This place is swamped with casualties from 
the train.  I'm 
assuming they'll get it all sorted out.   I'm still trying to find 
someone here who 
speaks English, and I've sent for Alexei but that isn't going to happen 
real fast."

"Clay you need to keep away from me," Harm told him softly.  "I'm 
hanging on by a 
thread right now and I'm not sure what I'll do if she dies.  If that 
happens, I don't 
know. . .I don't. . ."  Words failed him and he dropped to his knees on 
the cement 
walk, trying to hold back his tears.

"Look, after she's OK, you can order me away from you if you want and 
I'll 
understand," he told him, but right now I'm all you've got and I'm 
going to make 
sure you're OK to take care of her when she needs that."

Harm looked up at him and when he opened his mouth to speak, no words 
came 
out.  

"She'll be OK," Clay whispered, pressing his friend's head to his 
stomach in an 
awkward attempt at comfort.  "She'll be OK.  I just wish there was 
something more I 
could say."

"There's not," Harm told him, recovering some control and lightly 
pushing Clay 
back.  "OK I want to find out about her, and I want to know now where 
she is and 
what they're doing to her.  You speak enough Russian for that don't 
you?"

"Not really," he sighed, helping Harm to his feet.  "Not really but we 
can try."

They walked back in to the hospital and at the end of the long 
corridor, Harm gave 
an anguished cry at the sight before him, stopping so suddenly that 
Clay crashed in 
to him.  "Harm what's wrong," he demanded, trying to see around the 
larger man.

In wordless horror, he stepped aside.  A long procession was proceeding 
down the 
intersecting corridor, groups of four, each group carrying a black body 
bag.

"God Clay," he breathed.  "Oh God."

"You don't know," Clay told him sternly.  "And frankly it's pretty bad 
that you would 
give up on her that easily."  He put a guiding arm around Harm's 
shoulders, trying 
to turn him away.  But rather Harm shrugged him off and came to 
attention in 
respect for the dead passing before him.

"Now let's go find your partner," Clay insisted when the last one had 
vanished from 
view.

An hour passed with no information, Clay desperately with the little 
Russian he 
knew trying to explain who Mac was.  They could not find the nurse that 
initially had 
taken her, and the area through which she had gone was totally sealed 
off now.

"Clay I'm about to lose it here," Harm murmured, turning back from the 
window 
where he was staring into the trees.  "God what if one of those bags 
was. . .what if. 
. ."

"What if you stop trying to imagine the worst," Clay told him.

"I never told her how I felt," he moaned, close to tears again.  "She's 
died not 
knowing. . ."

"Oh for christsake," Clay snorted.  "In the first place she's not dead.  
And in the 
second, you total idiot--she knows exactly how you feel.  God Rabb you 
can't be 
that blind.  And you'd better know how she feels about you."

Harm looked at him helplessly.  "I tried to tell her.  Dear God let her 
have heard 
me."

"Even if she didn't, she knows," Clay told him confidently.  "Now what 
we're going 
to do is see how she is, and when she'll be able to travel, and then 
I'm going to be 
sure she's. . . .what the hell is that?"  He had turned back from the 
window and now 
his mouth was dropped open for there stood Alexei, in the guise of a 
colonel in the 
Russian army.  "Colonel Alexei Vashkov, Army of Russia, at your service 
Mr. 
Webb.  I came by helicopter as soon as I received your call.  You 
require 
assistance?"

"This man is scary," Clay whispered before he stepped forward to shake 
his hand.  
"Yes Colonel we do, thank you for coming."
 
 "You wish for word on your friend?" Alexei continued and Clay nodded. 
"Give 
 me a few minutes."
 
 He strode to the small desk, speaking the nurse for several minutes 
before 
 returning to Harm and Clay.
 
 "Alexei" Harm whispered as he braced himself for the worst. "Is she…."
 
 "No she is alive," Alexei said quietly. "She was badly injured but 
they 
 believe she is going to be okay."
 
 "How badly injured?" Harm demanded.
 
 "There were some internal injuries" Alexei explained and Harm's eyes 
widened 
 with alarm.
 
 "Clay we have to get her out of her and to a real hospital" Harm 
shrieked 
 and Alexei put a gentle hand to his arm.
 
 "This is a real hospital," Alexei said gently. "They are taking good 
care of 
 her. She will be okay."
 
 "I need to see her. Now."
 
 "I know.  I will arrange it. Wait here please."
 
 "God Clay when is this nightmare ever going to end" Harm wailed as 
Alexei 
 went off to arrange the visit.
 
 "Harm she'll be okay. You heard Alexei."
 
 "She'd be a lot better if she wasn't here," Harm shouted.
 
 "Harm, please calm down" Clay begged. "We'll make sure she's well 
taken care 
 of and as soon as she's fit to travel we'll get out of here. I 
promise."
 
 Alexei returned and a minute later and he and Harm were led back to 
the room 
 where Mac was. The nurse said something to Alexei in Russian and gave 
Harm a 
 sympathetic smile before walking away.
 
 "What did she say?" Harm demanded as she walked away.
 
 "That you can stay as long as you like" Alexei said with a small 
smile. "I 
 told her the beautiful Colonel was your fiancee."
 
 "Thank you Alexei" Harm whispered as he looked into the room.
 
 "I'll leave you alone" Alexei said as he patted Harm's shoulder. "I 
will go 
 and stay with Mr. Webb."
 
 Harm nodded and slowly walked into Mac's room, gulping at the sight of 
her 
 so pale and weak again. It had only been a few weeks ago that she'd 
been 
 hurt in Vietnam and now this.
 
 "Sarah I'm so sorry" Harm whispered as he sank down in the chair 
beside her 
 bed, reaching at once for her hand. "So sorry."
 
 He brought her hand to his face, holding it against his cheek before 
kissing 
 it softly. She stirred slightly at his touch, finally pushing open her 
eyes 
 to look at him.
 
 "Harm" she murmured weakly.
 
 "Right here Marine" he said as leaned closer to her. "Who else would 
be here 
 holding your hand."
 
 "Alexei" she teased.
 
 "I hope not" he whispered. "God you really know how to scare a guy 
don't you 
 Marine. I really thought I'd lost you this time. My nightmare became 
reality 
 right before my eyes."
 
 "Sorry. You and Clay okay?"
 
 "We're fine. But that's not important. All that matters is getting you 
 better. I don't want you worrying about anything else."
 
 She nodded, her eyes closing tiredly. "You're going to stay right?" 
Mac 
 murmured.
 
 "The Russian Army couldn't get me out of here" Harm said softly. "I'm 
 staying right here." He was still holding her hand when Alexei brought 
Clay back a 
few hours later.
 
 "Harm" Clay said softly as he walked up behind him.
 
 Harm turned and looked at his friend but said nothing as he kept his 
 attention focused on Mac.
 
 "Harm I know this isn't a good time but we need to talk."
 
 "You're right Clay its not a good time" Harm sighed. "Right now I 
don’t care 
 about anything except making sure Mac is going to be okay. And until I 
know 
 that's the case, everything else is not important."
 
 "Harm, the old woman is dying" Clay said quietly. "Alexei just got the 
word 
 before I called him. She's willing to talk to you but I don't know how 
much 
 longer she's going to hold on."
 
 "Clay don't do this to me. You know I can't leave her now. "
 
 "Harm I'm sorry. I can't help what has happened. And I'm really sorry 
to put 
 you in this spot."
 
 "I don't care, I'm staying with Mac" Harm said determinedly. "There's 
no way 
 I'm leaving her here alone."
 
 "She won't be alone. Alexei will stay with her until we get back."
 
 "Clay in case you forgot, neither of us speak Russian. How are we 
suppose to 
 talk to her if we don't speak Russian."
 
 "She speaks English Harm. She was playing the part of a poor peasant 
woman 
 when she talked to you and Mac that time."
 
 "No, I'm not going" Harm said firmly. "I'm staying here until Mac is 
better 
 and then I'm taking her back to the US before anything else happens to 
her."
 
 "You don't want to go talk to her?" Clay asked quietly.
 
 "It doesn't matter to me anymore Clay" Harm sighed. "All that matters 
is 
 Mac. I should never have agreed to this in the first place. I should 
have 
 hauled both of your sixes on a plane out of here."

"This woman has information that's important," Clay maintained.  "Harm 
this is 
more than about your dad.  The U.S. has been trying for years behind 
the scenes 
to get POW info."

"This is not about anything but Sarah Mackenzie right now," Harm 
screamed, much 
more loudly than he intended; so loud that she jumped and sobbed from 
being 
awoken in such a fashion.

"Now see," he growled accusingly, bending over her and stroking her 
cheek with 
the back of his hand.  "Hey sorry.  It's OK.  Clay and I are just 
having a discussion 
here."

"Your dad Harm," she whispered, calming herself.  "I know that's what 
you're 
talking about.  Your dad."

"No we're past that," Harm told her. "We're on to getting you home and 
forgetting 
this nightmare ever began.  I want to forget that I ever heard of 
Russia, Vietnam or 
Clayton Webb."

Clay drew his breath in sharply.  The words stung, and stung badly.  
"Excuse me," 
he mumbled, quickly leaving the room, with Alexei following him.

"That was uncalled for," she whispered, closing her eyes as a tear 
escaped from 
each one.

"I'm not handling things very well right now," he admitted, staring 
after his departing 
friend.  "I'm upset OK.  Yeah I admit that.  You were dead in my arms 
Sarah.  I was 
holding your lifeless body and it's not something I'm going to forget."

"Then maybe you should remember how I came to be brought back," she 
sighed, 
dropping back into sleep, exhausted from that small effort.

Another two hours passed and Harm finally allowed himself to fall into 
sleep, but it 
was a tortured slumber, with visions of wreckage and her body buried 
beneath 
debris and of failed attempts at CPR and then of Clay. . .He awoke with 
a start with 
that memory.  Clayton Webb breathing life into her; taking her from him 
after he 
had failed to do so and putting life back into her body.  Clayton Webb 
of whom he 
had said he wanted to forget his existence.  Hs chin dropped to his 
chest in regret 
for his harsh words and he stroked Mac's forehead as she slept.  "Honey 
I need to 
do something," he whispered.  "I won't be long."

"Colonel Vashkov?"  Harm asked at the desk, figuring Alexei would have 
made 
himself known.  The attendant motioned to a door behind him and when 
Harm went 
inside he found Alexei sprawled on a sofa, eating and watching the TV.  

"Clay?" Harm asked quietly.

"He was here but decided to walk outside," Alexei replied.  "It is not 
my place to 
comment, but Harmon, he is hurting by this too.  He is very fond of 
your lady."

"Yeah I know," Harm nodded.  "I flew off the handle at him."

"You blame him."  It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, but I blame myself just as much," he answered miserably.  "I must 
have lost 
every ounce of my good sense to come here.  I let them lead me here, 
and to bring 
the one person I care most about in this world right along. And also 
Clay.  He might 
have been hurt on that train too.  And even though I'm having a hard 
time dealing 
with him right now, I would not have been able to bear that either."  

There was silence in the room and finally Harm gave a long sigh.  
"Where is Clay?"

"In the gardens," Alexei pointed out the window.

Harm wasted no time in finding him, seeing him huddled on a bench as 
soon as he 
stepped outside.

"It's freezing out here you idiot," he called softly.

"Yeah.  I figured I could use the clarity," Clay returned.  "Harm 
please if you're out 
here to make me feel more guilt, could you hold it.   I'm beating 
myself up pretty 
bad as it is."

"No, but I do need to tell you something," he said firmly, standing 
before him and 
holding out his hand to the CIA agent.  "I'm still not reconciled to 
what happened; 
but I do know this.  You saved her life.  You saved her life when I 
couldn't.  I would 
have just let her die.  Hell she was dead until you. . ."  He swallowed 
hard and his 
hand trembled in his offer to shake.  "Thank you Clay."

 "You're welcome. And I'm sorry this happened. You know she means a lot 
to me 
 too."
 
 "I know and I'm sorry for taking this out on you" Harm sighed. 
"Sometimes 
 it's easier to blame someone else instead of myself."
 
 "I'd rather you blamed me. I am the one who dragged you two into 
this."
 
 "No Clay, I could have said no" Harm countered. "And I didn't."
 
 "Because deep down you want to know the truth don't you?" Clay prodded 
 gently. "You're just not willing to risk Mac to find it are you?"
 
 "No Clay I am not. I do want to know the truth. But not at the expense 
of 
 those I care about most."
 
 "I understand your hesitation with Mac, but Harm, I can handle this. 
And if 
 you want to find the truth, I'll help you."
 
 "Clay I don't know what to do anymore" Harm sighed as he sank down on 
the 
 bench beside him.
 
 "I won't push you. And I'm sorry about earlier. I know you're still 
dealing 
 with what happened to Mac and me bringing up you leaving her probably 
wasn't 
 a good idea."
 
 "No but I shouldn't have jumped down your throat like that. I'm sorry. 
 Everything is so mixed up right now."
 
 "Why don't you give yourself 24 hours to think about everything" Clay 
 suggested. "By then we'll know for sure that Mac is going to be okay 
and you 
 can decide if you want to continue to Beloyka without her."
 
 "All right I can do that" Harm sighed. "I'd better go back inside and 
check 
 on her."
 
 He hurried back inside to Mac's room, taking his spot once again at 
her 
 bedside. She awoke again a short time later, finally starting to look 
like 
 she was getting better.
 
 "Hi" she said softly as she looked over at Harm.
 
 "Hi yourself" he whispered. "How you feeling?"
 
 "Like I got hit by a train."
 
 "Close. But the doctor says you're going to be okay. Well at least 
that's 
 what Alexei says he says. Clay and I have no idea what anyone around 
here is 
 saying."
 
 "Did you and Clay and talk?" she prodded.
 
 "About me being a jerk. Yeah I apologized for that. And thanked him 
for 
 saving your life."
 
 "You know this wasn't his fault," she said quietly.
 
 "I know and once I can get past what happened to you I'll realize that 
it 
 wasn't anyone's fault."
 
 "He's a good friend Harm. He wouldn't have arranged this if he'd known 
 something like this would happen."
 
 "I know he is. And I owe him a lot." He paused and Mac knew there was 
more 
 on his mind.
 
 "Spill it sailor" she said softly. "What's going on?"
 
 "The old woman is dying" Harm said quietly. "They're not sure how much 
 longer she's going to hold on."
 
 "I want you to go Harm" Mac ordered. "Before it's too late."
 
 "Mac, I can't leave you. Not until I know you're going to be okay. And 
once 
 that happens, I'm taking you back to the US."
 
 "No, you need to talk to her Harm" Mac urged. "She might be able to 
tell you 
 something about your father. You don't know what she knows."
 
 "No, I can't leave you" Harm repeated shaking his head. "I can't. I 
won't."
 
 "You can and you will. You know it will drive you crazy if you don't 
talk to 
 her before she dies. And there's no reason you need to stay here and 
hold my 
 hand. Alexei can do that."
 
 "I don't think I can leave you" Harm whispered, tears brimming as he 
 remembered those awful moments on the train. "You don't know what it 
was 
 like when I found you. You were dead in my arms Sarah. I'd lost you 
and all 
 I wanted to do was die right along with you."
 
 "You didn't lose me," Mac said softly, giving his hand a gentle 
squeeze. 
 "I'm still here with you."
 
 "I don't know how. All I know is I almost lost you and would have if 
it 
 wasn't for Clay."
 
 "I know why. Because you and I aren't finished yet sailor. We're going 
to 
 get through this and then we're going to work on that life together we 
both 
 keep talking about."
 
 "I want that Sarah" he whispered. "Now that I've come that close to 
losing 
 you, I don't ever want to feel that again."

"I'm not willingly going to remove myself from your life," Mac reminded 
him gently.  
"Ever. I need you as much as you need me.  But I need you healthy and 
whole, 
and if we don't resolve this, that's not going to happen.  This is 
going to nag you 
until you're made crazy and then you'll end up wanting to do something 
rash about 
it.  Look how it played on your mind all those months between the 
Hornet and when 
we finally went to Russia."

"Yeah I know," he sighed, dropping his chin to his chest in defeat.  
"But I don't 
know how I can leave you."

"I'm in good hands.  I'll be here when you get back."

"I don't know.  I just don't know," he sighed and when he reached out 
to touch her 
face, his hand shook visibly.

"I know.  I know that you're exhausted. When was the last time you ate 
or 
showered or slept?"

He looked at her blankly.  "I uh. . .I guess I don't know.  Not since 
this began 
anyway."

"Not acceptable Sailor.  Would you tell Clay I want to see him?  
Please."

"Sure OK," he frowned in puzzlement, nonetheless opening the door and 
looking 
down the hallway.  "Clay there you are.  Mac wants to see you."

Clay ambled into the room, smiling broadly when he saw her propped up 
in bed.  
"Hey you look a helluva lot better than when I saw you last time.  You 
OK?"  He 
wasted no time in crossing the floor to her, kissing her cheek gently.

"I'm getting better I think," she smiled reaching her hand up for his.  
"Clay I want 
you to take Commander Stubborn here to see this old woman and get the 
story 
from her.  And before that, I want you to take him and get him some 
food and let 
him get cleaned up. For me.  Please."

"I may have to dart him with a tranquilizer gun," Clay smiled, "but 
I'll see what I can 
do."

"OK OK, you can buy me dinner," Harm sighed.  "Just for Mac though."

She smiled and then sobered quickly.  "Clay you saved my life.  Thank 
you."

"Welcome," he smiled.  

"Something I couldn't do," Harm sighed, his voice breaking slightly.

"Harm you were too closely involved," Clay said gently.  "That's all.  
Had nothing to 
do with ability or anything like that. Just needed a little dispassion 
that's all."

"I want you two to make nice too," Mac told them seriously.  "You need 
each other, 
and I need both of you and I don't want there to be tension.  OK?"

"I've already apologized," Harm reminded her.  "We're. . .OK, my 
feelings are still 
all jumbled.  But we're going to be OK."

"Just don't hit me again please," Clay begged.

"No promises," Harm growled playfully.

"Harm go. . ." Mac started, only to begin stirring uncomfortably in the 
bed, her face 
twisting slightly.

Harm noticed at once, pushing Clay aside to bend over her, resting a 
hand on top 
of her head.  "Honey, what's wrong?  Pain?"

"Yeah it's getting bad.  Whatever they give me is wearing off and it 
feels like my 
insides are ripping apart."

Harm shot Clay a pleading look and he sprinted from the room.

"Mac Clay's getting you some help and I'm right here.  Nice slow 
breaths.  You're 
going to be OK."  Watching her pain tore his heart from its moorings 
and he forced 
himself to remain calm for her benefit though he felt anything but.

"Dammit where's Clay with that help?" he muttered frantically.  "Stay 
still honey."  
With that he ran to the door and in his frustration, shouted down the 
hall, "There is 
a patient in pain here.  I need someone who can help.  Now."

"Harm you're making a scene," Clay called, appearing around the corner 
with a 
nurse in tow.  

"I'm about to have a tantrum," he retorted, stepping aside to admit the 
nurse, who 
took one look at Mac and knew exactly what was wrong.  A quick 
injection into her 
IV and she left them alone once more.

"You doing better Ninja Girl?" Harm asked her softly, seeing her face 
relax after a 
few moments, and he gently kissed her cheek.

"Floating," she murmured.  "Go eat, rest.  Fine now."
 
  "Do you see why I don't want to leave her?" Harm sighed as he sank 
back into 
  the chair. "She's far from okay."
  
  "Harm its going to take some time for her injuries to heal. But she's 
past 
  the worst of it"
  
  "Yeah and what if she's not. What if something happens while we're 
gone? I'd 
  never forgive myself."
  
  "And you'll never let go of this if you don't go talk to the old 
woman" Clay 
  sighed. "I know this isn't easy Harm but Mac is going to be okay. 
Alexei 
  will stay at her side until we get back. Now you heard Mac. Some food 
and 
  some rest for you before we go anywhere."
  
  He allowed himself to be led away from her side, managing a few bites 
of a 
  sandwich before heading to a small hotel just a few blocks from the 
hospital 
  for a few hours sleep before heading back to Mac.
  
  "Do you want me to make the arrangements for Beloyka?" Clay asked as 
they 
  walked back to the hospital.
  
  "Yes" Harm sighed. "Let's just go and get it over with."
  
  Clay nodded and headed off to make the arrangements while Harm headed 
to 
  Mac's room.
  
  "You look a little better sailor" she smiled as he walked in.
  
  "So do you. How you feeling?"
  
  "Better. For the moment anyway. You and Clay are going to continue to 
  Beloyka right?"
  
  "Mac, I don't like leaving you" he sighed.
  
  "I know. And I'm sure if I was in your position I wouldn't want to 
leave 
  either. But you have to Harm. It's your last chance to find out if 
your 
  father was ever here or not."
  
  "Just promise me you'll be okay," he said as he reached for her hand. 
"I 
  need you in my life. God knows how I ever got as far as I did without 
you."
  
  "And I'll be here" she promised softly. "And I want you and Clay to 
be 
  careful. I know there's some dangerous people out there who don't 
want you 
  to find out anything."
  
  "You just worry about you. Clay and I will be fine."
  
  "I am very worried about you. I know this isn't easy for you and I 
wish I 
  was going to be there with you."
  
  "I'll manage," he said quietly. "I just want you to get better. 
That's all 
  that matters to me."
  
  "I will not stop worrying," she said with a small smile. "When are 
you and 
  Clay leaving?"
  
  "As soon as he can arrange it."
  
  "Well until then why don't you join me" she said as she patted the 
bed 
  beside her.
  
  "Mac, you're still hurting" he protested.
  
  "As long as you don't lay on me, I'll be fine" Mac smiled. "Now get 
up here 
  sailor. It's been too long since I've been in your arms."
  
  Carefully he positioned himself on the side of the bed, gently 
bringing her 
  against him, his arm wrapping around her.
  
  "Better?" he asked softly, not realizing how much he himself had 
missed 
  holding her.
  
  "Much" she sighed contentedly as she dropped her head against his 
chest.
  
  When Clay returned an hour later they were both asleep and he and 
Alexei 
  traded smiles as they looked at the pair.
  
  "Should we wake them?" Alexei asked.
  
  "Let them sleep" Clay smiled. "We've got a few hours before the train 
leaves 
  for Beloyka. I'll wake him up then. This is the first time he's 
really 
  slept."
  
  Clay took the chair next to the bed and grabbed a few winks himself, 
waking 
  shortly before he and Harm needed to leave.
  
  "Harm" he said as he gave him a gentle nudge. "Come on buddy. Time to 
go."
  
  "Already?" Harm murmured as he pushed himself awake.
  
  "Yep. You need a few minutes alone?"
  
  "Please" Harm said as Mac stirred next to him and Clay nodded and 
headed out 
  the door to give them some privacy.
  
  "Hey you leaving already?" she murmured as she looked up at him.
  
  "It's that time" he said quietly. "You're going to be okay right?"
  
  "I'm fine. Especially after that wonderful nap. Thanks for joining 
me." She 
  reached for his hand and held it firmly in hers. "Please be careful. 
I need 
  you in my life too sailor."
  
  "We'll be careful. We're just going to go and talk to her and get 
back here. 
  And then we're going home."
  
  "I wish I was going with you" she sighed. "I hate that you have to go 
  through this alone."
  
  "I'll be fine. And I won't be alone. Clay will be with me."
  
  "That's not what I meant," she said softly.
  
  "Mac, I'll be fine" he sighed. "Somehow. But I don't want you to 
worry. I 
  want you to concentrate on getting better."
  
  "I will worry. But I know you have to do this."
  
  "Yes I do" he sighed. "And I'd better getting going." He looked over 
at her 
  and leaned forward to gently place a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you 
soon."
 
 "Not acceptable Sailor," she scolded, cupping her hand at the back of 
his neck and 
pulling her back down to her.  This time the kiss they shared was long 
and loving, 
and did not stop right away, as both replaced words with emotions.
 
 Clay opened the door before they were finished and gasped at his 
intrusion, 
freezing in place.  Alexei attempted to peer over his arm, gasping as 
well, then 
smiling lightly as Clay firmly shut the door.
 
 "They need another minute," Clay said softly.
 
 "They are much in love," Alexei pointed out unnecessarily.
 
 "For a long time," Clay agreed.
 
 "Once in a while it is good to be proven correct," Alexei added.  
"When I first met 
them I knew there was more than just a friendship there; and then more 
than a 
year ago on the road to Chechnya I asked her not to make me die a 
deluded man.  
She may have been nearly engaged to a man in Washington, D.C. but it 
was this 
man for whom she was crossing a war zone under fire."
 
 "I know," Clay nodded, looking at his watch and opening the door once 
more.  
"Rabb move that butt.  It's time."
 
 "Clay hold up.  Come here please," Mac called, backing away from Harm 
to reach 
her hand out to him.  
 
 Clay automatically went to her, taking her hand and kissing the back.
 
 "You're not leaving without saying goodbye are you?"
 
 "Uh. . .I figured you had all the goodbye you could use."
 
 "You need to listen," she chided him.  "I want you to take good care 
of yourself 
Clayton Aaron Webb.  You're not one hundred percent yet with that 
shoulder 
yourself.  And then I want you to take care of Harm while you're doing 
that; and I 
want you both to take care of each other."
 
 "I should have been taking notes," he smiled, pulling at Harm's arm.  
"Let's go 
Rabb, the clock's running."
 
 Harm started to lean over her once more only to be restrained by Clay.  
"You're 
making this hard for her.  Come on," the agent whispered.
 
 "Go yes," Mac urged, feeling wetness on her face as she spoke.  "I'll 
be here when 
you get back, promise.  You just promise to come."
 
 "On my word as an officer and a gentleman," he whispered, allowing 
Clay to lead 
him from the room.  
 
 "I will see to her care," Alexei assured him.  "But you must come back 
to her."
 
 "I'm making you personally responsible for seeing to her every need," 
Harm 
warned him, and Clay tugged at his arm. 
 
 "Now."
 ==================
 Twenty minutes later they had left the city behind, once again on 
their journey to 
Beloyka, and Harm had fallen into silence, staring out the window at 
the passing 
snow covered countryside.  He keenly felt each mile taking him further 
and further 
from the woman he loved and with each mile a tiny piece chipped away 
from his 
heart.

 Somehow he managed to fall asleep, the motion of the train coupled 
with the 
 stress of the last few days finally catching up with him. He slept for 
 several hours, waking just before they reached Beloyka.
 
 "About time you woke up" Clay smiled. "We're almost there."
 
 "Have you called Alexei to make sure Mac is okay?" Harm asked.
 
 "Done. And she's fine. Worried about you of course."
 
 "Well this will be done and over soon and we can all go back home" 
Harm 
 sighed as he looked out the window at the frozen land. "And with any 
amount 
 of luck we'll never have to set foot in this godforsaken country 
again."
 
 They arrived in Beloyka a short time later; a counterpart of Alexei's 
 meeting them at the terminal.
 
 "Mr. Webb?" the tall man said in a heavy accent as he approached them. 
 "Alexei said you need ride."
 
 "Yes we do" Clay nodded. "You have the directions."
 
 The man nodded and Harm and Clay followed him to the waiting vehicle.
 
 "You trust this guy?" Harm whispered.
 
 "Alexei wouldn't cross us" Clay assured him. "And unless you want to 
walk to 
 her farm, I think this is the best way to get there."
 
 With a long sigh Harm climbed into the backseat of the car. He watched 
as 
 the town of Beloyka fell behind them as they traveled the nearly 
deserted 
 road into the country.  A short time later their driver pulled into a 
long 
 dirt driveway that led to large home.
 
 "She didn't get the money to buy that working on a farm," Clay said as 
he 
 looked at the house.
 
 Harm was silent, a million thoughts running through his mind. And at 
that 
 moment, he wished Mac were with him. Like she had been the first time. 
Like 
 she'd always been. He wasn't looking forward to hearing what the woman 
was 
 going to say and he wasn't totally sure he would be able to handle it.
 
 "You okay?" Clay asked, reading some of his thoughts.
 
 Harm nodded and moments later they were lead into the large home by 
the 
 servant at the door.
 
 "It is good that you came now. She is very ill" the servant informed 
them as 
 he led Harm and Clay to the bedroom. "Pitchta, they are here."
 
 Harm took a deep breath as he entered the room and she forced herself 
 upright at the sight of him.
 
 "You came," she said quietly. "I did not know if you would come in 
time or 
 not. But I am glad you are here."
 
 "I came for the truth this time" Harm said quietly.
 
 "Yes and I will tell you it this time. I could not before. It would 
have 
 cost me my life. Now that does not matter. I am going to die anyway. 
So I 
 will tell you the truth this time."
 
 "Was Lt. Harmon Rabb brought to Russia?" Harm asked.
 
 "No. I knew the POW's that were brought here. He was not one of them."
 
 "So everything you told me was a lie" Harm whispered.
 
 "Yes it was," she said with a long sigh. "Your father was never in 
Russia. 
 Though his name was on the list of prisoners that we were expecting. 
But he 
 was never here."
 
 "Do you know why he wasn't?" Clay spoke up.
 
 "No. I was not told. It happened sometimes. Either the prisoners were 
too 
 sick or ill and they died on the way here."
 
 "What did they do with them then?" Harm asked.
 
 "I do not know. I am sure that their bodies were simply left somewhere 
along 
 the way. They were never brought here."
 
 "So I might never know what happened to him" Harm said quietly and she 
 nodded.
 
 "Do you know about the photo that was sent to me?" he asked suddenly. 
"The 
 one that appeared to be my father with several KGB officers."
 
 "No. If there was such a photo, it was most likely a fake. We took 
photos of 
 some of the prisoners but not your father."
 
 "So everything I've ever been told about him is a lie. He was never 
here. He 
 never met you. He never fathered a child named Sergei Zhukov. It's all 
a 
 lie. And for all you know he died before he got here and his remains 
could 
 be anywhere."
 
 "I am sorry. But yes, what you say is true."
 
 "Then I guess we're finished here" Harm sighed. "We won't trouble you 
 anymore." He started towards the door and Clay put up a hand to stop 
him.
 
 "Is it possible that Lt. Rabb escaped from the POW camp in Vietnam and 
 that's why he was never brought here?" Clay said as he looked over at 
the 
 woman.
 
 "Yes that is possible. But again I would not know if that were the 
case or 
 not. I am sorry."
 
 Without a word Harm walked from the room and Clay said a quick thank 
you 
 before hurrying after him.
 
 "Harm wait" Clay called. "Harm"
 
Harm was partway across the yard when Clay's call stopped him.  

"Clay please leave me be," he begged.  "I really really need some time 
here alone."

"I don't think you do," Clay answered, hurrying to close the distance 
between them.  
"I think you need to talk, or at least be with someone who cares, and 
right now I'm 
all you've got in that area.  We'll head back and Mac will. . . ."

"Mac is better off without me, especially right now," he muttered.

"Now that's just plain ignorant talk," Clay admonished him, taking his 
arm.  "Come 
on.  We're through here.  We'll start back and get a room soon as we 
can, then 
drive back to the hospital at first light in the morning."

"What part of leave me alone do you not understand," Harm raged, all 
the tensions 
of the past weeks welling up inside him, and he gave his friend a firm 
shove.  
Caught off guard Clay fell backwards into the snow and Harm took off at 
a dead 
run into the trees, the dusk quickly swallowing him up.

"Damn you Rabb," Clay shouted, scrambling to his feet.  Seeing the 
futility in 
attempting to chase him down, he reluctantly returned to the house to 
beg 
permission to stay the night while he awaited Harm's return.  He slept 
very little that 
night, getting up every few minutes to check the window, watching for 
Harm.   
When dawn came he was growing frantic, and enlisted Boris their driver, 
to help 
him begin to search the nearby country side.  

Pitchta kindly offered him her home for as long as he needed it, and he 
spent the 
next forty-eight hours, waiting and looking.  At the same time he knew 
Mac would 
be growing increasingly worried, and with no phone in the house there 
was no way 
to let her know.  Finally at dawn on the third day, he ordered Boris to 
return him to 
the hospital, hoping against hope that Harm had somehow made his way 
back 
there.

As soon as he located a phone he called the hospital, and it was a 
frantic Marine 
who screamed his name from her end.  "Mac, hi," he said carefully.  
"Look I've only 
got a couple seconds here.  We're on our way back now."  He held is 
breath, 
praying that the news that Harm was with her, or at least had been in 
touch, would 
come spilling from her.  

Exactly the opposite happened.  "OK, thank God.  Can I talk to Harm 
please."

"Mac he. . ."  Thinking fast he scraped his fingernails across the 
phone to simulate 
static and broke the connection.  The news would be better said in 
person; and 
there was always the hope Harm would get in touch with her in the 
meantime.  But 
for now, he figured he had saved her at least a few hours of worry.

All too soon the hospital loomed before them, and when he walked inside 
he was 
not surprised to find Mac up and awaiting them. 

"Hey," he smiled softly.  "You look better than when I left.  How are 
you?"

"Yeah I am better. They're letting me--in fact making me--get up and 
move around."  
Her words trailed off as she tried to peer around Clay.  "OK where's 
Harm Clay?"

"Mac I. . ." he stammered.  "I don't know.  That's the God's honest 
truth.  I don't 
know.  And I'm sorry.  I've lost him."

THE END