TITLE:  "Past Present Future VI---To Russia Once Again"
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
SUMMARY:  The sixth chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters of 
Lt. 
Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited.  All will be Harm-Mac 
stories 
of course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and 
violence.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement 
is intended with this work of fiction.
FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you're moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it 
would 
be much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you 
are not liking our work, please don't spend the time.  While we realize 
our work 
does not please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.


            NOTE:  All parts of this story, as well as much of our 
previous efforts, will 
be available at 
                     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
              No subbing is required to read from the message archives.
       
           Also, previous chapters, as well as our other efforts, 
should be available at:
          http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/
                        or the
       Harm-Mac shipper archive at-  
           http://www.shipperarchive.com/fanfic/

Previously in the PPF series: Comfortable with his decision to abandon 
the search 
for the truth with regard to Sergei and his father, Harm spent a 
relaxing weekend 
with Mac at Jack Keeter's beach house, only to be interrupted by a 
frantic call 
from Russia. . .and Clay.

Note:  For purposes of this story, the events of any episode after 
Adrift do not play 
a part.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Past Present Future VI-To Russia Once Again"

 "Harm, what's wrong?" Mac demanded as Harm numbly flipped the cell 
phone 
 closed. "It's Clay isn't it?"
 
 "He said not to come" Harm whispered. "And then there was a gunshot."
 
 Mac's eyes widened and she quickly located a service station and 
pulled the 
 car in.
 
 "Harm I'm sure he's okay" Mac said with as much confidence as she 
could 
 muster.
 
 "God Mac what if he's not. What if because of me he's dead?"
 
 "Don't even say that" Mac said sharply. "Clayton Webb has been in 
tight 
 spots before and he's always found a way out of them. This time is no 
 different."
 
 "He could already be dead" Harm whispered. "I heard the gunshot Mac. 
And 
 then phone cut off."
 
 "All the more reason for us to get there ASAP" Mac said softly. "We'll 
find 
 Clay and we'll get him back here safely."
 
 "He shouldn't have gone over there without telling me" Harm muttered. 
"If 
 he'd called me I would have told him that this was too risky and I was 
 stopping it."
 
 "No he shouldn't have gone without telling us" Mac agreed. "But it's 
too 
 late for that. Right now we just have to get there and find him."
 
 "And pray that he's still alive" Harm sighed. "God this is one 
nightmare 
 after another. First you and now him. All I'm doing is hurting the 
people 
 closest to me. And why? Because I had to know the truth."
 
 "Harm, don't do this to yourself" Mac said softly. "You didn't do any 
of 
 this to either of us. We both came along of our own free will. And 
Clay went 
 to Russia on his own."
 
 "Because he wanted to help me. Dammit, why didn't he tell me what he 
was 
 doing." With a curse, Harm threw open the door to the car and climbed 
out, 
 wandering around the small parking lot as he tried to calm his 
frazzled 
 nerves. Mac climbed out and took care of refueling the car, finally 
catching 
 up with a few minutes later.
 
 "You okay?" she asked gently.
 
 "Far from it" he said with a long sigh. "I'm sorry. This is just too 
much 
 right now."
 
 "I know and that's why you're not doing this alone" she said as she 
wrapped 
 her arms around him. "It's going to be okay. We'll find Clay and 
everything 
 is going to be okay."
 
 "I wish I could believe that" Harm said as he held her tightly.
 
 They headed back onto the highway and a few hours later were back in 
DC. Mac 
 stopped first at her place and quickly loaded her bag before driving 
them to 
 Harm's where he did the same.
 
 "Mac, the Admiral" Harm said suddenly as she pulled into the parking 
lot at 
 Dulles. "We need to call him."
 
 "Yeah that might be a good idea" Mac sighed as she pulled into a spot. 
"You 
 want me to handle that?"
 
 "Would you?" he said with a small smile. "I know I already owe you 
into the 
 next millennium but I'd rather not have to talk to him."
 
 "It's on your tab sailor" Mac said as she leaned over and placed a 
small 
 kiss on his lips. "You'll grab the luggage while I talk?"
 
 Minutes later they walked to the terminal, Mac dialing the Admiral's 
number 
 while Harm carried their bags.
 
 "Sir, it's Mac" she said when he finally answered. "We've got a small 
 problem."
 
 "What kind of small problem?" AJ asked.
 
 "We're on our way to Russia sir. Clay called us and he's in trouble 
there."
 
 "This is about Harm' dad isn't it?" AJ sighed.
 
 "Yes sir it is" Mac replied. "You know we wouldn't just up and leave 
if it 
 wasn't important. We're pretty sure Clay is in big trouble."
 
 "Mac, I don't like this" AJ said quietly.
 
 "I know sir, and I'm sorry. I promise we'll be back ASAP."
 
 "That's not what I meant Mac. I meant I don't like the idea of you and 
Harm 
 going over there again after what's happened. They tried to kill you 
both 
 the first time you were there. I'm afraid of what's going to happen 
this 
 time."
 
 "Yes sir, we know that" Mac said quietly. "But we have to find Clay 
before 
 it's too late."
 
 "I know. Promise me you'll call and let me know what's going on" AJ 
said 
 seriously. "And if you get into any trouble at all, I want your 
promise I'll 
 be the first one you call."
 
 "Yes sir, you have my word."

She found Harm waiting anxiously for her at the Aeroflot counter.  "We 
can go 
standby in three hours," he reported.  "Not really what I wanted to 
hear but it will 
have to do.  Was the admiral OK with this?"

"Oh yeah," she smiled.  "I must have caught him in a good mood.  I 
don't know 
how long it's going to last before he tells us we need to be about our 
duties here."

"I was ready to do that," he reminded her, "but I can't leave him 
there."

"We Flyboy, we," she replied.  "I'm not sure what's driving him to do 
this in fact, 
except that it's a mystery and he can't seem to leave it until he knows 
the answer."

"And now it may have cost him his life," Harm muttered, "excuse me."  
He gave 
her arm a quick squeeze and walked to the big window, staring out 
across the 
tarmac.

She started to follow him and then backed away, giving him his space.  
After an 
hour she decided that a restroom/coffee break was in order and she left 
the gate 
area to take care of that.

That was the moment he picked to start back to their seats and when he 
did not 
see her, a wave of panic washed through him.  "Mac?" he called, looking 
around 
frantically and ignoring the stares of the other passengers.  Quickly 
he grabbed 
his cell and dialed her number.  To his infinite relief she answered on 
the second 
ring.

"For Godsake where are you?"

"Whoa Flyboy relax before you pop a vessel," she said softly, hearing 
the panic in 
his voice.  "I'm in the ladies room.  OK?  I'm sorry I didn't ask to be 
excused."

"You should have told me," he pouted.   "For a second there I was 
imagining 
someone had taken you."

"From a crowded airport?  A Marine?" she chided him.  "I'd been sitting 
for an hour 
in fact waiting for you to stop brooding and come join me."

"Brooding seems to be my best thing lately," he sighed.  "You're 
where?"

"In the head," she screeched.  "I'll see you soon with some coffee."

He was still pacing nervously when she returned.  "Sorry.  Idiot here.  
But when 
you were gone my imagination went into overdrive."

"Not the first time," she smiled tolerantly.  "Sit, drink.  It's a 
decaf mocha.  More 
wired you do not need to be."

"I'm scared we're not going to make this flight.  With seven hours to 
the next one--
it could make a lot of difference.  As in whether a man bleeds to death 
or not."

"Harm you don't even know if he's hurt," she reminded him, taking his 
arm to 
guide him to a chair and then pushing the coffee into his hand.  "Drink 
now.  
Something hot will help."

"The end of a nightmare that began thirty years ago is the only thing 
that's going 
to help," he muttered, nonetheless taking the coffee.  "How do you put 
up with 
me."

"Very easily," she smiled, biting back the fact that being in love with 
him made it 
that way.  He knew anyway, just as she knew how he felt.  It was simply 
something they were waiting to put into words.  Waiting for this to 
resolve before 
they faced the future together.

An hour later their standby status was changed to confirmed and they 
were 
boarded shortly after that.  "See it's going to be OK," she smiled and 
took his hand 
to walk down the long jetway.  

"Hang on Clay, please," he breathed with a long sigh of relief when he 
felt the 
plane leave the ground.  "We're coming."

 "We should try and get some sleep" she said a few hours later. "Seeing 
as 
 how we don't know what we're going to find when we get there."
 
 "I think I'm too wired still to sleep" he muttered, nonetheless 
closing his 
 eyes and leaning his seat back.
 
 "Just try" she urged as she placed a gentle hand to his forehead and 
stroked 
 it. "You know you're going to work yourself into a stroke over this 
yet. 
 Clay is going to be fine and we're going to find him and bring him 
back."
 
 "And this nightmare will be over" Harm murmured, her gentle hand 
lulling him 
 to sleep.
 
 "Yes it will," she said softly as she reached over and placed a gentle 
kiss 
 on his lips. "Sleep sailor."
 
 Once she was sure he was asleep, she leaned back and closed her eyes 
as well 
 to get a few hours of sleep. She wasn't sure how long she'd been 
asleep when 
 Harm's scream of her name yanked her from her slumber.
 
 "Harm, wake up" she said as she leaned over and gave him a gentle 
shake. 
 "It's just a nightmare. I'm right here."
 
 The sound of her voice finally broke through his nightmare and he 
stopped 
 thrashing and opened his eyes and looked over at her.
 
 "See I'm right here" she said softly. "You okay?"
 
 For a moment he could only shake his head, the nightmare still so 
vivid in 
 his mind.
 
 "Harm, what was it?" she asked. "What was the nightmare about?"
 
 "You" he managed finally. "Mac I don't want you here. I want you to 
get back 
 on the next plane to the US when we land."
 
 "Harm, we had a discussion similar to this when we went to Vietnam" 
she said 
 softly. "And what did I tell you then?"
 
 "And what happened because you didn't listen to me" he shrieked. "You 
were 
 almost killed. This was another warning Mac. Just like the other one 
was."
 
 "Your Dad again?"
 
 He nodded. "He was warning me again. This is wrong. You have to go 
back 
 home. I won't let anything happen to you again."
 
 "Harm, I'm not leaving you in Russia alone" Mac said firmly. "So just 
drop 
 that thought from your head right now."
 
 "Mac, I don't want anything to happen to you" he whispered. "And this 
was so 
 awful."
 
 "Tell me about it" she urged, wanting to know what had upset him so 
much.
 
 "No" he said as he shook his head vigorously. "I don't even want to 
think 
 about it. I just want you to go back home."
 
 "Harm, that isn't going to happen. I am not leaving you. You don't 
speak 
 the language and there's no way you're going to find Clay without my 
help."
 
 "I hate this" he whispered. "I hate this so much. First Clay and now 
you. I 
 just want this all to be over."
 
 "We don't know anything has happened to Clay and nothing is going to 
happen 
 to me. So will you please stop beating yourself up over this?"
 
 "I'll stop when everyone I care about is back home safe," he said 
quietly.
 
 "Which will happen real soon" she assured him. "I don't suppose you're 
going 
 to go back to sleep again are you?"
 
 "No. I'm sorry I woke you though. You should try and get some more 
sleep."
 
 "Can I use your shoulder as a pillow?" she asked softly.
 
 "Yeah sure, get comfortable" he urged and moment's later she was 
contentedly 
 lying against him. He watched her drop back to sleep, gently stroking 
her 
 hair as she fell asleep. "Lord, please keep her safe" he whispered as 
he 
 looked down at her.  She had blown off his nightmare but he hadn't. It 
had 
 been another warning and he could only pray that this one wouldn't 
come to 
 fruition.
 
 ************
 Moscow Airport
 
 "Okay, sailor where to first?" Mac asked after they'd secured their 
luggage.

 "Beautiful Colonel" a voice called out and at once they whirled around 
to 
 see Alexei.
 
 "Alexei" Mac smiled as they walked over to him.
 
 "You need ride, correct?" Alexei said as he looked at Harm.
 
 For a moment Harm debated whether or not they could trust the man. He 
knew 
 that in the past Alexei had worked for both sides, but Clay had always 
 assured him that he could trust him.
 
 "Yes we do. You know where to take us?"
 
 "Yes I do. Can I take your bags beautiful Colonel?"
 
 "Thank you Alexei" Mac said as Alexei took their bags. "Always the 
gentleman 
 aren't you."
 
 "For you yes" Alexei smiled as he led them to his waiting cab. He 
waited 
 until they were safely away from the airport before turning around.
 
 "I think we're safe," he said as he checked the rear view mirror 
again.
 
 "You know where Clay is right?" Harm demanded as he leaned forward. 
"You're 
 taking us to him."
 
 "I know where he is" Alexei nodded. "And yes I am taking you to him. 
But 
 first we must make sure that no one was waiting for you at the 
airport.  And 
 that they do not follow us."
 
 "No one like Sergei Zhukov?" Mac asked quietly.
 
 "You know about him then?"
 
 "We know he's tried to kill us" Harm retorted. "What more do you 
know?"

"Sergei Zhukov is not the son of Harmon Rabb Senior," Alexei said 
softly.  

Harm drew his breath in sharply but said nothing.  It was hard to hear 
the words 
said straight out, no matter how much he knew in this heart them to be 
true.  This 
man who shot at them on the beach, and who had no doubt participated in 
his 
beating, could not have come from the genes of his gentle father.

"You and the beautiful colonel accepted too readily the man's word," 
Alexei went 
on.  "And now the story has no backing."

"Alexei, please," Harm begged.  "I don't even care."

"Excuse me?"  His head swiveled almost all the way around to stare at 
Harm, 
returning to look forward only at the angry blast of a horn as Harm 
prepared to 
throw himself against Mac, protection against the near-collision.

"You are not serious Commander.  Please tell me you did not go to all 
this only to 
say those words.  Colonel?"

"Harm feels like the investigation is too costly in human terms," Mac 
said carefully.  
"I was hurt, and now Clay."

"You damn near died," Harm exploded.  "Let's be honest there.  My folly 
damn 
near got you killed, and now Clay--we don't even know."

"Harm, please," Mac soothed, taking his hand and kissing the back 
gently, a 
motion witnessed by Alexei in his mirror and he smiled to himself.  He 
was not 
normally wrong about people.

"Alexei, about Clay," she added, leaning forward again.  "We're pretty 
concerned."

"You will see him soon enough," he assured them.  "But honestly I have 
no 
information.  I was told to bring you to him."

"He's hurt isn't he?" Harm asked bitterly.

"I'm sorry," Alexei sighed.  "In this business the less you know, the 
less trouble 
you will bring down upon yourself."

"He's OK," Mac soothed again, adding a 'please God' under her breath.

Another trip through Red Square and Alexei breathed easier.  "We are 
heading 
out of the city to a home on the outskirts.  Relax beautiful colonel 
and commander, 
we shall be there soon."

Mac's hands closed over his and she leaned against him, resting her 
head on his 
shoulder.  He lowered his head and kissed her forehead.  "Thank God 
you're 
here," he whispered.  "I know I tried to make you stay and I may still 
regret that 
you didn't but right now I need you."

"And I, you," she replied.  "We'll get through this.  We have to.  We 
have a future 
to get ready for."

With a sharp intake of his breath, he opened his eyes wide, looking 
down to where 
four hands were joined as one.  "Yes we do," he nodded.  "Once we 
resolve this 
whole thing you and I are going to talk future, and it's going to 
involve a ring."

Alexei smiled once more.  He had been correct in his assessment all 
those 
months ago.  She had traversed a war zone for this man; and for more 
than the 
reasons she had given at that time.  "We are at our destination," he 
announced, 
turning into the driveway of a small house.  "You may go in--you are 
expected."  

Harm jumped from the taxi, helping Mac out and holding her hand 
sprinted up the 
steps, before stopping in his tracks.  "What if. . .if this is a set 
up?" he whispered.  
"Dare we trust this guy?"

"Harm we're going to have to trust somewhere, someone," she replied 
gently.

"I do.  I trust you.  With my life.  You and Clay," he hissed.  

Before she could reply, the door was opened, and before them stood Clay 
himself, 
pale and shaky but alive.
  
 "Clay thank god," Harm said as he let out a long breath. "You're 
alive."
 
 "You expected otherwise," Clay said with a hint of a smile. "Come on 
Harm. 
 If I could handle Palmer I can handle Sergei Zhukov."
 
 "You're hurt though," Mac said as she saw the bandage on his arm.
 
 "Yeah well it could have been worse. Luckily he's not a real good 
shot."
 
 "Did this happen when you called me the second time?" Harm asked 
quietly.
 
 "Yeah he found me" Clay sighed. "Fortunately I got away and Alexei was 
able 
 to get me out here without anyone finding us."
 
 "You trust Alexei?" Harm asked.
 
 "Right now he's about the only person over here I can trust" Clay 
replied.
 
 "Well we're getting out of here right away anyway" Harm said as they 
 followed Clay inside the house. "I've made my decision Clay and I hope 
 you'll respect it."
 
 "Harm, I hope you're not going to tell me you're giving up on this" 
Clay 
 said as he gently lowered himself into a chair.
 
 "Clay, don't try and change my mind. I spent a lot of time thinking 
about 
 this and this is the right thing. I've almost gotten you and Mac 
killed and 
 I'm not about to risk either of your lives anymore. We're going back 
to 
 Moscow and getting on the first plane home."
 
 "That's not going to happen" Clay said stubbornly. "Harm, I was about 
to go 
 to Beloyka to find the old woman and get the real truth this time."
 
 "Clay no" Harm shouted. "That is not going to happen. We are all going 
back 
 home and this whole thing is over."
 
 "You don't want to know the truth?" Clay questioned.
 
 "No. Not if finding out the truth means the people I care most about 
getting 
 hurt. Mac's been hurt, you're hurt. Where do I draw the line? When one 
of 
 you gets killed."
 
 "Harm no one's going to get killed" Mac said gently.
 
 "You don't know that. And with Sergei on the loose, there's no telling 
what 
 will happen. No we're going back to Moscow and we're getting on the 
first 
 plane out of here."
 
 "I'm not going"
 
 "It's not negotiable Clay" Harm sighed. "And remember I'm a lot bigger 
than 
 you and I'll just haul your skinny six back to the airport despite 
what you 
 say."
 
 "Yeah well I'm still not going. You and Mac can go back. I'm this 
close to 
 finding that woman and learning the truth. I'm not giving in now."
 
 "Clay, I will not let you stay here," Harm said irritably. "Now will 
you 
 quit giving me a hard time and just get your stuff together so we can 
get 
 the hell out of this country."
 
 "Harm think about it" Clay sighed. "We're here now. We get to Beloyka, 
we 
 find the woman and we get the truth. The real truth this time. Not 
some 
 script she rehearsed before you got there."
 
 "You really think she made all that up?" Harm asked quietly, his 
desire to 
 find the truth starting to take hold again.
 
 "Of course she made it up. I guarantee she was paid handsomely to feed 
you 
 and Mac that story."
 
 "Yeah but she won't know if he was really here or not" Harm sighed.
 
 "She might" Clay countered. "I don't know how deep into she was. 
Whether she 
 was someone they just coerced into it with money or if she was an 
operative 
 for the KGB."
 
 "Harm it wouldn't hurt for us to go to Beloyka" Mac spoke up. "As Clay 
said, 
 we are already here."
 
 "I don't know" Harm said as he paced the small room. "You both seem to 
keep 
 forgetting Sergei is out there. And after what he did to you last 
time...."
 
 "Wait, what happened last time?" Clay asked. "Did something else 
happen 
 while I was gone?"
 
 "Nothing major" Mac said quickly before Harm could reply.
 
 "Nothing major" Harm shrieked. "Only Sergei set you up and knocked you 
out 
 and could very easily have killed you instead of just leaving you for 
me to 
 find later."

 "Harm" Mac started.
 
 "And don't even tell me I'm overreacting" he shouted.
 
 "Harm, please calm down" Mac said gently. "Neither one of us is trying 
to 
 upset you."
 
 "I'm way past upset," Harm said as he took a deep breath to calm his 
nerves. 
 "Look, I know you're both trying to help but honestly I just want to 
let 
 this go. It's in the past. And it's better left there."
 
 "Harm you can't let them scare you off" Clay said quietly.
 
 "Yes I can" Harm whispered as he looked at Mac.  "It's not worth the 
risk."

Mac stepped forward and put her hand on Clay's good arm, anxious to 
diffuse the 
tension.  "Why don't you come sit down before Harm and I have to pick 
you up off 
the floor.  You're looking a little shaky there.  And is there coffee 
and food?  
Neither of us managed much on the flight."
 
"There's a woman here taking care of me," he grinned, reading Mac's 
urging to 
back off.  "We get along great because she doesn't speak a word of 
English and 
my Russian is limited to I'll have a beer and a ham sandwich and 
where's the 
men's room please."

"Is she performing personal services for you?" Harm questioned 
mischievously 
and Mac punched his arm.

Clay took a step backwards and stumbled, nearly going down on one knee 
before 
Harm quickly caught him.  "I thought you said you were OK?" he growled, 
easing 
him to the nearest chair, with Mac hovering in concern.

"I lost some blood before they could get to me," he admitted.  "But 
I've been 
transfused and the wound itself wasn't much.  Just now when I'm up for 
any length 
of time I get weak in the knees."  She paused and looked at Mac 
teasingly, "or it 
might be from seeing you again."

"Hey watch your ass Mister," Harm chided him.  "This is the woman I lo. 
. ."

"Harm it's OK to say it," Clay said softly, looking from him to Mac, 
"not that she 
doesn't know how you feel."

Harm actually blushed and wrapped his arms around her.  "I don't have 
to say the 
word for you to know do I?"

"No, but it's not something to be afraid of," she said gently.

"Not afraid, just want it to be a special time and place," he smiled.  
"That's not so 
wrong."

"No it's not.  Although when you became such a romantic is beyond me.  
Bet you 
never were with Jordan nor Renee."

"I didn't love them," he smiled and placed a very gentle kiss on her 
lips.  

"Well welcome to As Russia Turns," Clay grinned.  "Mac ask Royetta if 
she'll make 
us some of that good borscht stuff.  Not sure what it's got in it, but 
that's what she 
calls it and it's filling and hot.  And then we'll talk some more."

The food was prepared and Harm guided Clay to the table at his 
insistence.  "Clay 
before we start, I don't want to talk about it.  My mind is made up.  
Soon as you're 
feeling better I'm hauling you and Colonel Obstinate here back to the 
U.S. and I'm 
going to forget all about any such person as Sergei Zhukov, while I'm 
thanking 
God I ended it before either of you got really seriously hurt.  As far 
as I'm 
concerned my dad is buried in a valley in the Tiaga.  End of story."

Mac slipped her hand into his.  "You know I'll support you no matter 
what.  Just 
know that I don't agree with you."

"I know.  And that's OK.  Sometimes a man just does what he knows is 
right."

"That's what your head is saying, but your heart knows better," Clay 
said softly.  
"And I feel totally responsible for having gotten you in to this to 
start with."

"You didn't hold a gun to my head," Harm reminded him.  "Eat your soup.  
You 
look like you need it."

There was quiet for a few minutes until Harm spoke up again.  "Clay, 
straight 
answer now.  Are we safe here?"  He could not help a long glance at Mac 
as he 
asked.

"Yeah we are.  I know you're concerned about Alexei's loyalty, and he's 
not above 
making a little on the side elsewhere, but he won't risk the good deal 
he has with 
the agency by crossing me too far.  So yeah, for the next forty-eight 
hours at least 
we should be OK here.  After that I'd feel better if we moved on".

"Home," Harm stipulated.  "As soon as possible."

The matters of Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov were not brought up 
again 
and the rest of the day passed quietly.  By 10PM Mac was falling 
asleep, leaning 
heavily against Harm as they watched the lone TV channel broadcasting 
in 
English.  

"Better take her to bed," Clay smiled.  "Why don't you and her take the 
bed in the 
back.  I'm fine here."

"Clay we're not. . ." she murmured.

"Do I look like the housemother," he returned.  "I'm talking sleep.  
Whatever else 
you do is your business.  Go."
 
 "Come on Marine" Harm said as he helped lift her to her feet. "Time 
for bed. 
 Clay if you need anything holler."
 
 "I'm fine Harm" Clay sighed. "Get some rest. It's been a long day for 
all of 
 us."
 
 "Night Clay"
 
 He gently led Mac to the bedroom, helping her under the covers.
 
 "You're joining me right?" she murmured tiredly.
 
 "I thought I'd just take the chair," Harm said with a small smile.
 
 "No way Sailor" she said as she patted the bed. "That may have worked 
last 
 time we were here but not this time. Get that cute little six over 
here."
 
 "Cute little six huh?"
 
 "I'm so tired I can't be held responsible for what I say" Mac smiled 
 tiredly.
 
 "So you won't remember this in the morning" Harm said as he crawled in 
 beside her and drew her into his arms, his lips finding hers in a 
gentle 
 kiss.
 
 "I'll remember that" she sighed happily.
 
 "I hope so. Get some sleep Ninja girl. It's going to be another long 
day of 
 flying tomorrow."
 
 "Harm we're not really going to go back without talking to her are 
we?" Mac 
 murmured as she dropped her head against his chest.
 
 "Yes we are" Harm whispered as he stroked her hair. "But don't you 
worry 
 about that. Just get some sleep."
 
 "Night Harm" she said softly before dropping off to sleep.
 
 "Night Sarah" he whispered.
 ****************
 "Clay we're going and that's the last time I want to discuss this" 
Harm 
 sighed. "As soon as Alexei gets here we're going to the airport and 
getting 
 out of here."
 
 "Mac would you talk to him" Clay groaned.
 
 "Clay it's his choice" Mac said quietly. "And I stand by whatever 
choice he 
 makes."
 
 "Thank you. Clay, I appreciate everything you've done but it's over. 
For 
 good this time."
 
 Before Clay could reply there was a knock at the door and Harm looked 
out 
 the window before nodding to Clay that it was okay.
 
 "Boss, I've got it" Alexei said excitedly.  "She's in Beloyka just 
like you 
 thought. I've got the location."
 
 "Clay" Harm started.
 
 "Nice job Alexei" Clay said ignoring Harm's warning. "What else did 
you find 
 out?"
 
 "She's KGB boss" Alexei replied. "She was anyway. She's retired now. 
Living 
 quite nicely in Beloyka."
 
 "They paid her to tell me that story" Harm whispered. "It was all a 
lie."
 
 "Yes it was Harm" Clay said quietly. "That's what I've been trying to 
tell 
 you."
 
 "Do you think she'll know the truth?" Harm asked.
 
 "If she was KGB she might know if your father was ever brought here."
 
 "Might. Key word here Clay. And might isn't worth the risk. I'm 
sorry."
 
 "Harm what if she can tell you the truth" Mac spoke up. "Wouldn't it 
be 
 worth it to find out."
 
 "I don't know" Harm sighed.
 
 "Harm we're here" Clay said quietly. "We go to Beloyka. We talk to 
her. 
 We're out of here in a few days."
 
 "What about Sergei?" Harm asked.
 
 "No sign of him Commander" Alexei assured him. "He's dropped out of 
sight 
 again."
 
 "See. We'll be fine."
 
 "Harm he's right" Mac said softly. "Come on. If we do this now we 
might find 
 out the truth. The real truth this time."
 
 "All right" Harm sighed. "So help me God, Clay you better not make me 
regret 
 this."
 
 "I'll do my best Harm" Clay assured him. "Alexei how long will it take 
you 
 to make the arrangements?"
 
 "Few hours boss."
 
 "Do it. We're going to Beloyka."
 
 While Clay made calls and they waited for Alexei to return Harm paced 
the 
 small house. The walls seemed to be closing in on him and he finally 
went 
 outside.
 
 "You okay sailor?" Mac asked as she followed him outside.
 
 "Yeah I guess so" he sighed. "I guess hearing she wasn't real hit me a 
 little harder than I thought it would."
 
 "You believed her Harm. We both did. We didn't have any reason not to. 
She 
 played on your emotions. She knew what you wanted to hear and she gave 
it to 
 you."
 
 "And I fell for it." He let out another long sigh before turning 
around to 
 face her. "You know if he wasn't ever brought here he might still be 
alive"
 
 "Yes he might be" Mac said softly as she wrapped her arms around him. 
"And 
 if he is, we'll find him."

"I haven't even given any thought to what I'd do if we did find him," 
he frowned, 
pulling her in to his embrace.  "I mean he's over thirty years out of 
his time.  His 
son is a grown man, a Naval Aviator turned JAG attorney.  How could 
anyone 
make up that kind of time.  It's like being in a coma and waking up 
and. . ."

"Hey you're getting worked up here for nothing," she tried, her hand to 
his mouth.

"It is not nothing," he erupted, pulling away from her.  "If he is 
alive he's had more 
than thirty years of his life stolen from him.  Nothing and no one can 
make that 
right."

"But we will try," she said quietly, slipping out of the room, sensing 
he needed 
some time.  She walked out onto the porch and took several deep 
breaths, 
praying for the man she loved.  Praying for his peace of mind as well 
as well-
being.

Harm slammed a fist into his palm in frustration just as Clay walked 
back in.  

"Where's Mac?"

"Oh I was a jerk and drove her away," he responded, his sarcasm heavy.  
"We're 
taking a short break before I go throw myself at her and beg her to 
forgive me 
before I drive her away for good, which considering the danger I've 
brought us 
into, might night be a bad alternative."

"Oh for crying out loud," Clay groaned, giving his arm a small shove.  
"You 
couldn't drive her away from you with a truck.  And as far as being a 
jerk, I've 
known you to be one many times.  Me too.  It's a male thing--genetic."

"Thanks a bunch," he sighed.  "Aren't we ready to go?"

"Alexei will be back in an hour.  Meanwhile go make your peace."

"I told you we're taking a break."

Clay held up his hands in surrender.  "Far be it for me to get involved 
in these 
lover's quarrels."

"That's the problem," he muttered.  "I do love her and that makes this 
whole thing 
that much harder."

"Of course it does."  Clay gave him a tolerant smile.  "Why don't I 
make sure she's 
OK."

"Please," Harm nodded.

Mac swung around when she heard Clay's approach.  "Harm send you after 
me?  
I'm OK--just giving him some space."

"I know," Clay nodded, putting his hand on her shoulder.  "He's under a 
lot of 
stress.  That's not an excuse, just a reason.  And he's terrified 
something's going 
to happen to you."

"He had a real bad dream on the plane," she said miserably.  "And he 
wouldn't tell 
me about it.  He's holding so much in right now.  I'm scared for him 
too."

"He needs you Sarah," Clay told her softly.  "He's afraid to admit how 
much and 
when we men feel that we push away the one we need most."

"Thanks Clay," she smiled, squeezing his hand as she walked back in.  
Harm was 
standing at the window in the back, staring out at the snowy woods 
behind the 
small house.  His shoulders were slumped, his chin to her chest and her 
heart 
melted at once.

"Hey," she whispered, her arms going around him from behind and she 
rested her 
cheek on his back.

"I'm OK."

"I know you are.  I just wanted you to know I was here."

"I always know where you are."  He turned around and hugged her to him, 
taking 
advantage to place a tiny kiss on her lips.  "I'm sorry I lashed out at 
you.  Please, 
put it on my tab, which by now is three miles long anyway."

Alexei returned as promised and they piled into his taxi, sticking to 
side streets 
through the city, he having promised he would take them to meet their 
connection 
to Beloyka.  Thirty minutes later they pulled up in front of a large 
gray building.  

"Alexei?"  Harm frowned, feeling a total sense of dread wash over him.

"Moscow to Beloyka.   Your train leaves in forty-five minutes."

His eyes grew wide in total alarm.  "No.  NO WAY in hell," he 
practically yelled.

Mac's hand went to his arm at once.  "My God what's the matter with 
you?  Harm 
it's probably the best way to get there right Alexei?"

"Absolutely beautiful one," Alexei assured her.  "It is a long journey 
by car, over 
bad roads where the fuel supply is uncertain and bandits are a fact of 
life.  The 
train is not luxury, but it will get you there."

Harm fixed his gaze on Mac shaking his head.  "No."

"Yes," she countered at once.  "We're going to see this through.  Now 
move that 
stubborn sailor six."

"You don't understand," he yelped.

"Yes I do.  I understand a lot of what goes on in the Rabb mind," she 
snapped.  
"And right now it's not thinking straight.  We are going to Beloyka.  
Thank you for 
everything Alexei."
 
  "You are most welcome beautiful Colonel. Please be safe."
  
  "Not on this train she won't be" Harm muttered as Mac gave him a push 
out 
  the door.
  
  "Alexei we'll be in touch" Clay said as he climbed out as well.
  
  "Yes boss" Alexei nodded. "I will see you soon."
  
  "This is wrong" Harm murmured as they made their way to the passenger 
cars. 
  "All wrong."
  
  "What is all wrong?" Mac sighed. "Harm you heard Alexei. This is the 
best 
  and fastest way to get there."
  
  He didn't reply and as they climbed aboard the car a short time later 
he 
  felt a cold chill go down his spine. He froze on the spot, looking 
around 
  the car with a sense of deja vu.
  
  "Harm come on move it, you're blocking the aisle" Clay said as he 
nearly ran 
  into Harm.
  
  He didn't move and Mac turned around, noticing at once the peculiar 
look on 
  Harm's face.
  
  "Sailor, come back" she said softly. "Harm, are you still with us or 
did we 
  lose you?"
  
  He swallowed hard as he realized why he everything was so familiar.
  
  "We can't do this" he whispered.
  
  "Why can't we do this?" Mac asked patiently as she finally pulled him 
aside 
  and into a seat so the others passengers could board the train.
  
  "This is my nightmare. This train."
  
  "The nightmare you had on the plane ride over here?" Mac asked and he 
  nodded.
  
  "Harm what happens in your nightmare?" she asked softly.
  
  He closed his eyes tightly as the images from the nightmare suddenly 
played 
  over and over again in his head. "Harm" she prodded again gently. 
"Please 
  tell me your nightmare."
  
  "It was awful Mac. There was a wreck. And you were hurt. Really bad. 
And I 
  couldn't do anything to help you."
  
  "Harm it was just a nightmare" Mac sighed.
  
  "No" he said as he shook his head vigorously. "It wasn't a nightmare. 
It was 
  another premonition. Just like the one I had when we went to Vietnam. 
I 
  can't let you do this. We have to get off of here."
  
  He stood up, turning around to face Clay. "Clay come on, we're 
getting off."
  
  "What do you mean we're getting off?" Clay demanded.
  
  "Clay it's his nightmare again.  The train. He thinks it's going to 
wreck 
  and I'm going to be hurt."
  
  "I don't think I know" Harm wailed. "Mac please. I don't want 
anything to 
  happen to you."
  
  "Harm everything is going to be okay. Just sit down and relax. 
Please."
  
  "You're both wrong" Harm sighed as he sank back in his seat. "I hope 
to God 
  I'm the one who's wrong but I know I'm not."
  
  "Harm please try and relax" Mac said as she sat down beside him. "You 
really 
  are working yourself into a state again and that's not good."
  
  "I'll relax when we're in Beloyka" Harm sighed as he leaned back in 
the 
  seat. "And we're finding another mode of transportation home. I don't 
care 
  if I have to steal another Russian Mig."
  
  "You planning on strapping Clay to the wings" Mac teased.  "Last time 
I rode 
  in one of those it only had seating for two."
  
  "Harm if it really bothers you that much to come back on the train, 
I'll see 
  if I can come up with another way to get us back" Clay sighed.
  
  "Yes Clay it really does bother me" Harm snapped. "I know you two 
don't take 
  these things seriously by I do. It wasn't just a nightmare."
  
  "Easy Harm. I wasn't trying to make you more upset. You really need 
to 
  relax."
  
  "Harm he's right. Why don't you try and get some rest? I know you 
tossed and 
  turned most of the night next to me."
  
  "Yeah like I'll be able to sleep on here" Harm complained, 
nonetheless 
  closing his eyes as the train departed the station, eventually lulled 
to 
  sleep by the movement.
  
  "Can you really get us another way back to Moscow?" Mac asked 
quietly.
  
  "We've got round trip tickets on this" Clay replied. "I'm sure once 
we get 
  there safely he'll be fine about coming back on here."
  
  "I don't know Clay" Mac said as she looked over at Harm. "I've never 
seen 
  him like this before. So adamant that something was wrong. And he was 
right 
  about Vietnam."
  
  "Don't tell me you're starting to believe him?"
  
  "I don't know Clay. Harm has always had this sixth sense about stuff.  
I 
  trust his instincts more than anyone else's."
  
  "Instincts are one thing. But in this case, I think his feelings for 
you are 
  clouding that instinct."
 
 "My feelings for him aren't helping me be objective either," she 
admitted.  "I just 
know how he is.  I know if he leaves this undone, unfinished, 
unresolved, it's going 
to haunt him the rest of his life.  The fact of his dad's disappearance 
did, and then 
when we found the diary that made it even worse.  And even after Russia 
he 
wasn't totally convinced I don't think--I think he wanted himself to 
be, but he wasn't 
quite able to put it to rest."
 
 "The truth will come out," Clay said confidently.  "And when it does, 
you two will 
be free to make your lives together.  That's what you want isn't it?"
 
 "Oh yeah," she sighed, absently playing with his hair.  "I love him 
Clay."
 
 "He loves you too," Clay nodded.
 
 "Love you."  This from Harm, murmuring in dream or partial sleep she 
could not 
tell.  Her eyes opened wide and she gasped loudly, looking to Clay in 
surprise.
 
 "It'll keep," Clay smiled, leaning back against the seat and closing 
his eyes.  
 
 "Yeah I guess," she gasped, still in shock.  As for Harm, a small 
smile played at 
the corners of his mouth as he slept.
 
 Three hours passed as the countryside flew past.  Clay stirred and 
opened his 
eyes half way when Mac touched his knee. "Hmmm?"
 
 "I'm needing the facilities and something warm to drink.  You?" 
 
 "Yeah some of that Russian cocoa would be great," he murmured.  
 
 "OK but I'm making a comfort stop too so I won't be right back," she 
told him, 
kissing Harm's forehead as she gently extracted herself from him.  
"Look after him 
will you," she added with a small laugh.
 
 "Sure but I'm not doing that to him."
 
 She had been gone about fifteen minutes when the train whistle blasted 
long and 
loud and the wheels locked up with emergency brakes, steel on steel 
screaming in 
protest.  The train began to sharply slow and Harm was awake at once, 
his eyes 
wide with alarm, grabbing the sides of the bench.  "Clay what the hell?  
Where's 
Mac?"  

"Went to. . ." Clay started, trying to see out the window, and a second 
later all hell 
broke loose.  The train slammed to a halt as if it had been tailhooked 
on the deck 
of a carrier, knocking both Clay and Harm to the floor in a heap.

"Mac?" Harm got out frantically in the millisecond before an explosion 
that 
sounded like an atom bomb rocked the train from front to rear and a 
fireball that 
could have been Hiroshima itself enveloped the front cars as it rose 
skyward.  
Even has far back in the train as they were, Harm and Clay could feel 
the heat 
that was sucked through the cars.

"Maaa---aaaac."  The cry ripped from Harm's throat and instinctively he 
reached 
for Clay's arm beseeching his help.

"She's OK," he gasped.  "We'll find her." 

The explosion noise died away and the sounds of the screaming people 
filled their 
ears.  

"We'll find her," Clay said again, grabbing Harm's arm. 

Harm did not move or respond, his face a mask of shock and horror.

"Rabb let's get out of here," Clay ordered.  "Now. We've got to find 
Sarah."

"Sarah," Harm breathed, his eyes still straight ahead and not focused 
and when 
he spoke his voice was distant and devoid of emotion in his shock.  
"Sarah.  My 
dream.  She's hurt Clay."

 "Harm, this is not your nightmare" Clay said firmly. "Now move it."
 
 He gave Harm a rough push and he finally moved out of the crumbled 
car.
 
 "Oh god" Harm cried as they climbed out, seeing the cars in the front 
all 
 ablaze.
 
 "We don't know she was there" Clay said quickly, at the same time 
praying he 
 wasn't lying. If anything had happened to Mac because of him, he'd 
never 
 forgive himself for pushing Harm and Mac on this. "We'll start at the 
car in 
 front of ours and work our way up."
 
 He grabbed Harm's arm and they hurried to the car in front of theirs 
where 
 dazed and frightened passangers were climbing off. They pushed their 
way 
 inside, seeing the car slightly more crumpled than they one they had 
been in 
 but not as damaged as the ones in the front of the train.
 
 "Mac" Harm screamed, knowing at once that she wasn't in there.
 
 "Next car up" Clay said as he grabbed his arm, not wanting to waste 
any more 
 time.
 
 Harm nodded and seconds later they entered the next car, Harm feeling 
the 
 chill as he looked around the car. It was more damaged from than the 
others 
 and at once he knew.
 
 "She's in here Clay" he whispered. "This is the car. From my 
nightmare."
 
 "Where then?" Clay asked as he looked around the crumpled car, fearing 
they 
 were about the worst possible scenario.
 
 Harm closed his eyes, imagining the nightmare again and trying to 
remember 
 where in his dream he'd found her body. Without a word he moved to a 
small 
 corner of the car, quickly pulling away debris away.  Clay joined him 
and 
 seconds later Harm let out a scream as he saw her underneath what had 
been 
 the seat.
 
 "Mac" he screamed as he pulled away the debris faster, ignoring the 
damage 
 he was doing to himself as he pulled away the crumbled metal.
 
 "Harm let me help" Clay offered.
 
 "No" Harm screamed as he pushed Clay away, finally reaching Mac. 
"Sarah, no. 
 Please you have to be okay. You can't die on me. Not now."
 
 "Harm" Clay tried again.
 
 "Get away" Harm shouted. "This is your fault. I knew this would 
happen. But 
 you wouldn't listen to me. And now I'm going to lose her. It's all 
your 
 fault."
 
 "Harm, I'm sorry" Clay whispered as Harm reached a trembling hand to 
Mac to 
 check for a pulse.
 
 
 The End