TITLE:  “Past Present Future V---To Try to Let Go”
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
SUMMARY:  The fifth chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters of 
Lt. 
Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited.  All will be Harm-Mac 
stories of 
course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and violence.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement 
is intended with this work of fiction.
FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you’re moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it 
would be 
much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you are 
not liking our work, please don’t spend the time.  While we realize our 
work does 
not please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.

NOTE:  All parts of this story, and the parts of the previous chapters, 
will be 
available at 
         http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
  
    Additionally all chapters should be available at   
http://www.netroenterprises.com/exlibrisjag/ 
or the Harm-Mac shipper archive at
 http://www.shipperarchive.com/fanfic/ 

Previously in the PPF series: The search for the truth took Harm, Mac, 
and Clay to 
California where they encountered Sergei Zhukov, now apparently not the 
half-
brother Harm had considered him, but an enemy and part of the plot to 
keep them 
from learning the truth.

Note:  For purposes of this story, the events of any episode after 
Adrift do not play 
a part.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Past Present Future V—To Try to Let Go”

"This is your last warning Harmon. If you do not stop your search, you 
and 
 those you love will pay the consequences."
 
 "Why are you doing this?" Harm whispered, still in shock at the man he 
was 
 looking at, the man he had at one time considered his brother. Mac 
attempted to 
look up, but with Harm's strong arm keeping her down she could just 
make out the 
conversation.
 
 "To protect those I work for" he responded before shouts from the deck 
of 
 the house made him turn and run and back to the ATV. As Clay and his 
men ran 
 down to the beach, he jumped on the ATV, spraying sand as he took off.
 
 "Harm, let me up" Mac demanded and numbly he let go of her, still 
staring 
 off at the ATV that was getting smaller and smaller in the distance.
 
 "It was Sergei" Harm whispered. "He tried to kill you. And me."
 
 "Are you sure?" Mac asked. "I couldn't see thanks to someone holding 
me 
 down."
 
 "It was him. I know it was."
 
 "Why would he be here? He's supposed to be in a POW camp in 
Chechneya."
 
 "Harm, Mac, you guys okay?" Clay asked anxiously as he and his men 
reached 
 them.
 
 "I think so," Harm said numbly. "Clay it was Sergei."
 
 "What? You sure?"
 
 "I saw him. It was Sergei. Or whatever his name really is."
 
 "What did he say to you?" Clay asked.
 
 "He said that if I didn't stop my search that I would suffer the 
 consequences. As well as those I love." As he said the words he looked 
over 
 at Mac, knowing how every easily Sergei could have killed them both if 
he 
 wanted. His gaze then drifted to the house, where he could see Trish 
running 
 from the deck towards them.
 
 "Harm, we need to regroup on this" Clay said quietly. "Before someone 
gets 
 hurt again."
 
 "Harm" Trish cried as she reached them. "Oh thank god, you and Mac are 
 okay."
 
 "Mom we're fine" he assured her quietly. "I'm sorry, I should never 
have 
 agreed to coming here."
 
 "Why?" Trish demanded. "What happened?"
 
 "You are not safe here and it's my fault" Harm said as he pushed 
himself to 
 his feet. "Clay, get them back to the house and make sure someone is 
 watching them."
 
 "Harm, where are you going?" Mac demanded as he turned to walk away.
 
 "Mac, I need some time alone. Please just go with Clay and stay in the 
house 
 until I can figure out how to get you and Mom out of this mess."  He 
turned 
 and started to walk away. He knew the answer to his question but he 
wasn't 
 sure he could do it. All he had to do was drop his quest and most 
likely 
 they would be safe. But then the questions of what had happened to his 
 father would never be answered.
 
 "Mac, let him go" Clay said softly as she started after him.
 
 "Dammit, Clay someone just tried to kill him" Mac said as she forced 
back 
 tears. "I'm not going to just let him wander off alone."
 
 "I know. I'm going to go after him. Nixon, take them back inside and 
make 
 sure this place is secure. I'll be back in a few minutes."
 
 "Mac, what just happened here?" Trish asked as she and Mac slowly 
walked 
 back to the house, Nixon right behind him.
 
 "Someone wanted to warn Harm off again" Mac sighed. "He thought it was 
 Sergei."
 
 "Sergei, as in the man who's supposed to be his half brother?"
 
 "Well that story is looking more and more like just that. A story. 
Course I 
 didn't see the person so I don't know if it was really Sergei or if 
Harm 
 just thought it was him."
 
 "What did he say?"
 
 "He told Harm to stop his search or else something would happen to him 
and 
 the people he loves."
 
 "That's why he was so upset" Trish sighed. "And why he said I'm not 
safe."
 
 Mac nodded. "He didn't want you involved in this at all because he was 
 afraid something might happen. And now with this, his worst fears are 
being 
 confirmed."

"OK."  Trish nodded and gulped at the same time.  "What do we do about 
it?  How 
do we help him?"

"The only way he's going to leave any of this alone is to resolve it," 
she sighed.  
"I've seen him like this before, with other things."  She pursed her 
lips and shook 
her head.  "It's part of his charm to grab hold of something and see it 
through."

Trish allowed herself just a small smile despite her worry.  "In other 
words, part of 
the whole that you love."

"Guilty," Mac smiled, looking out the window in the direction where 
Harm had gone.  
"I should have been the one to go after him."

"Sometimes we can be too close to a situation," Trish said gently.  "I 
think Mr. 
Webb will bring him back in one piece."
===============
Harm meanwhile had sensed Clay following him and he picked up his pace.  
His 
walk turned into a jog and then to a run along the beach.

"Rabb for godsake stop," Clay screamed when he realized he was not 
going to be 
able to catch him.  "Rabb do you hear me."

"Webb leave me alone," he shouted, waving his arm backwards in 
dismissal.  
"Leave me alone."

"You want Mac to leave you alone too?" Clay yelled.

That brought Harm up short and he stopped after a few more steps, 
enabling Clay 
to get almost to him.  "I didn't hear your answer Harm," he pushed.  
"Do you want 
the woman who loves you to leave you alone too?"

Harm swung around and without thinking, landed a punch to the side of 
Clay's jaw, 
sending the agent sprawling onto his back in the sand.  

For a long minute Harm looked down in horror at what he had done.  Next 
to Mac, 
this man was the closest friend he had in the world and he had just 
struck out at 
him.  He sank to his knees beside him as Clay rose on one elbow rubbing 
his jaw.

"I'll put that on your account," Clay said quietly.  "And you know I'll 
collect."

"Yeah.  But I'm going to say I'm sorry anyway.  I don't know what made 
me. . .God 
Clay I'm losing my mind over this.  A man I thought was my brother is 
the enemy.  
I'm terrified Mac is going to get hurt.  And my mom.  And then I keep 
saying I need 
to just forget it and I know if I do it will haunt me the rest of my 
life.  What am I 
going to do?"  He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting tears of frustration 
and felt 
Clay's hand on his arm.

"What you're going to do is let Mac and I see this through with you.   
I know you're 
scared for her.  She's scared for you too.  What you don't understand 
is that she's 
far more scared of being left behind and not knowing your fate.  And 
Harm, give 
her some credit for who and what she is.  She's not Renee.  She can 
easily handle 
herself.  I'd rather have her at my side than most men I can think of."

"I know.  My head tells me the same thing.  It's my heart that's the 
problem."

"Your heart is in love," Clay grinned.  "Serious now.  Sergei?"

"Yes," Harm sighed.  "It's all starting to fit together isn't it.  
Sergei was a fraud, a 
fake--and the rest may be as well."

"I'm sorry.  I'm feeling like I never should have opened up this 
toothpaste tube."

"Huh?"

"You can't put it back in.  Anyway, like I said, I'm sorry.  You wanted 
a brother didn't 
you."

"I wanted a part of Dad," Harm murmured.  "Something besides me that 
was left of 
him."

"How about a Mackenzie-Rabb child," Clay grinned.

"Don't even," Harm groaned, though his eyes lit up just slightly at the 
thought.  "I 
guess I'm not real surprised.  Like Mac says, we bought into 
everything--the old 
woman, Sergei, no questions asked.  It was easier I guess."  With a 
long sigh he 
got to this feet and dusted the sand off himself, then offered his hand 
to Clay, 
pulling him up beside him and studying his jaw.  "Are you OK?  It's 
starting to swell 
and you need an ice bag.  Mac is going to kill me for belting you 
anyway."
  
  "Wait till your Mom finds out" Clay teased. "She likes me you know."
  
  "Yeah, that's cause she doesn't know what you're really like" Harm 
teased 
  back.
  
  "Yes she does. She had me pegged from the beginning. She didn't 
believe any 
  of that State department crap I usually tell people."
  
  "Clay, you have to promise me she'll be safe," Harm said suddenly. 
"That 
  when we leave she's not going to be a target."
  
  "I'll make sure someone's watching her. But I really think if they're 
likely 
  to come after anyone it's going to be you."
  
  "I can live with that. I can't live with anything happening to mom or 
Mac."
  
  "I know" Clay said as he patted Harm's shoulder. "Come on, let's go 
back."
  
  Mac was waiting anxiously on the deck, ignoring Nixon's glare as she 
headed 
  down to the beach to meet Harm.
  
  "Everything okay?" she asked.
  
  "Everything besides Clay's jaw" Harm sighed.
  
  "Harm" Mac screeched, noticing that Clay's jaw was swelling. "You 
didn't?"
  
  "It's my fault" Clay said quickly.
  
  "Your jaw got in the way of his fist? Harm, why did you hit him?"
  
  "Because I'm a jerk and that's all I can say about myself" Harm 
sighed.
  
  "Mac, it's nothing" Clay spoke up. "Just a little sore. I'm going to 
go 
  inside and get some ice for it and it will be fine."
  
  He headed inside, while Harm dropped into one of the loungers on the 
deck.
  
  "I don't suppose you want to tell me why you hit Clay do you?" Mac 
inquired 
  as she sat down beside him.
  
  "Not really" he sulked.
  
  "Harm, we need to talk about what's going on here."
  
  "What's going on is I keep putting the people I care about most in 
danger" 
  he sighed. "And at the same time, I know there's no way I can not 
follow 
  through with this."
  
  "I wouldn't expect you to. And I would never let you go through this 
alone. 
  And no matter what you say, I'm sticking with you sailor. You know I 
can 
  handle myself."
  
  "I know. I just keep having memories of our trip to Vietnam and how I 
almost 
  got you killed there. You know I'd rather do this alone."
  
  "But you won't. Cause Clay and I won't let you."
  
  "And for that I can never thank you enough" he said softly as he 
reached for 
  her hand. "You have been with me through everything."
  
  "Always will be too," she said with a small smile. "Come on, let's go 
make 
  sure you didn't break Clay's jaw."
  
  "I didn't mean to hit him" Harm sighed. "I'm just so frustrated and 
then 
  seeing Sergei"
  
  "You're really sure it was him?" Mac asked.
  
  "I know it was him. And I feel like such a fool. I believed 
everything he 
  told me. And now he tried to kill you and I swear if I ever get my 
hands on 
  him he'll wish he'd never seen me."
  
  "We'll find him" Mac promised. "Come on, let's go inside. You've had 
enough 
  excitement for one day. You're supposed to be taking it easy 
remember?"
  
  "Harmon David Rabb" Trish said when they walked in. "I don't believe 
you hit 
  your friend."














  
  "Mom, please, I know" Harm groaned. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot 
of 
  things. But right now I don't need any more lectures. I've got a 
monster 
  headache and I'd like to go lay down for a while."
  
  "Harm, you didn't say anything about a headache" Mac fretted. "Come 
on 
  sailor, let's get you back to bed."
  
  "I'll be in with some aspirin as soon as I get Clay's jaw fixed up" 
Trish 
  called.
  
  "Trish I'm fine," Clay said with a small smile as he held the ice to 
his 
  jaw. "Go take care of Harm."
  
  "Clay I'm really worried about him" Trish sighed. "I'm afraid this is 
going 
  to be too much for him. Or worse that these people aren't going to 
rest until 
  he's dead."
  
  "That's not going to happen" Clay assured her quickly. "I promise."
  
   "But I'm not wrong am I?"
 
 Clay took a deep breath and looked away momentarily.  "Right now I 
think it's 
over.  They've warned him again to back off.  Next move is up to him; 
and for the 
moment at least, there's nothing else to do.  I'm going to have to put 
some feelers 
on this person whom Harm knew as his brother for starters."
 
 "You know Clay, thirty years ago, I believed my first husband died in 
Vietnam, 
even though they never found any trace.  I had him declared dead some 
years 
later, much to my son's displeasure, and married a good and decent man.  
Got on 
with my life as the cliche provides.  Then a couple years ago my son 
tells me that 
not only did he not die in Vietnam, but that he was a prisoner in 
Russia and was 
killed there several years later.  Oh but wait--it gets better.  Guess 
what Mom, 
Harm tells me, Dad had a lot of time on his hands over there and 
fathered a son.  I 
have a brother."
 
 "Mrs. Rabb. . .uh Burnett," Clay started and Trish glared. "Trish I 
mean.  Sorry."
 
 "Let me finish please.  So just about the time I'm accepting that, I'm 
hearing that 
Sergei is in a POW camp, and now I'm hearing that the whole thing--the 
whole 
damn thing--could be noting but a pack of lies.  Am I right?"
 
 "Yes ma'am, very," Clay smiled.  "And we're going to find out exactly 
the story.  I 
promise you that too."
 
 "I do believe you," she sighed.  "But I have another real concern.  
Clay I've only 
been around my son and Mac a few hours here, but I see such love and 
devotion 
there.  If something happens to her--if she's killed because of what 
he's involved in-
-it's going to kill him too.  You know that don't you."
 
 "Oh yeah," Clay nodded.  "And I'm not going to let that happen.  
Listen, if things 
look like they're going to go to  hell in that fabled handcart, I'll 
pull the plug.  
Somehow."
 
 "Is that a promise too?"
 
 "Yes ma'am," he smiled and patted her hand.  "It's going to be OK."
 
 She nodded and mounted the stairs slowly, hearing the murmur of voices 
as she 
reached the top.  Across the hall, Harm's door was partly open and she 
could see 
Mac attempting to settle his upper body on her lap on the bed despite 
his fidgeting.  
Here was love in true form.  Her son was a lucky man.
 
 "Harm stop squirming," Mac ordered.  "You need to rest.  And if I 
think your head 
warrants looking at, you'll be right back there."
 
 "Sergei almost killed you today," he murmured, finally relenting and 
relaxing as 
she massaged his temples.
 
 "Sergei was warning us off," she corrected.  "I honestly don't think 
he meant to kill 
me.  And if he did, well then you saved my life."
 
 "I saw the guy and the bullets hitting on the sand and I was sure any 
second you'd 
be next," he shuddered.  
 
 "Harm serious now, let it go," she urged.  "We're safe in the house.  
We'll go back 
to D.C. and regroup.  We're going to see this through, together.  It's 
just going to 
take some time and we're going to have to be patient and figure things 
through.  
The one thing we won't have any more discussion of is you going this 
alone.  You-
me-Clay.  Get used to it."
 
 "I could get pretty used to this," he sighed, settling further into 
her lap and closing 
his eyes.
  
 
 "Good, cause I'm not going anywhere" Mac said softly.
 
 *******************
 2 Days Later
 San Diego Airport
 
 "Harm, I want your promise that you're going to keep informed about 
what's 
 going on," Trish said as they prepared to say goodbye. Clay and Mac 
had 
 stepped back to give them a few moments alone.
 
 "Mom, the less you know the better" Harm countered.
 
 "Harm, I'd rather not find out that my son was killed watching the 
evening 
 news" Trish retorted. "It was bad enough reading what happened in the 
 newspaper."
 
 "I know and I'm sorry" Harm sighed. "I'm not making any promises but 
I'll 
 try and let you know what's going on."
 
 "That's all I'm asking" Trish said softly. "I love you very much and 
you're 
 the only piece of your father that I have left. I don't want to lose 
you 
 too."
 
 "He might be alive Mom" Harm whispered. "You know it's possible. If he 
never 
 went to Russia, he might still be there."
 
 "I haven't allowed myself to go there. It's been 32 years Harm. It 
took a 
 long time for me to put those memories to rest."
 
 "I know and I keep dredging them up. I'm sorry."
 
 "Don't be. You have to do what you feel is right. And whatever 
happens, I 
 can deal with it."
 
 "Are you sure?" Harm asked. "I hate putting you through this again."
 
 "I can handle it" Trish assured him. "The question is can you?"
 
 "I have to do this Mom. I have to know the truth."
 
 "I know" Trish sighed as she wrapped her arms around him. "I just 
don't want 
 anything to happen to you."
 
 "Nothing will" Harm said as he hugged her back. "I've got two people 
looking 
 out for me."
 
 "Well don't forget to look out for her," Trish said as she finally let 
go of 
 him. "You take care."
 
 "I will Mom" he promised.
 
 "Trish, thank you for everything" Mac said as she stepped forward to 
give 
 Trish a hug as well. "I'm sorry we had to meet this way but I'm glad 
we 
 finally did."
 
 "So am I dear. And if I don't hear from Harm, I can call you?"
 
 "Of course" Mac said quickly. "But I'll be making sure he stays in 
touch 
 with you."
 
 "Guys we'd better go" Clay said as he joined them. "Trish, thank you. 
It was 
 wonderful meeting you."
 
 "You too Clayton. You guys take care of each other."
 
 "Bye Mom" Harm said as he turned and gave Trish one final hug.
 
 "I love you" Trish whispered. "Be safe please."
 
 "I love you too, " Harm said softly. "And if he's alive somewhere, I'm 
going 
 to bring him back. I promise."
 
 Trish nodded as she let go of him and seconds later she waved goodbye 
as 
 they passed through the security checkpoint.
 
 **********
 JAG HQ's
 1 Week Later
 
 "You owe me dinner" Harm smiled as he walked into Mac's office. "I 
won. 
 Petty Officer Marshall is a free man."
 
 "You beat Singer?" Mac grinned. "She was sure she had him locked 
away."
 
 "She underestimated me," Harm said as he sat down. "As did you 
partner. Time 
 to pay up."
 
 "I can handle that. Where would you like to go sailor?"
 
 "I get to choose. You're being quite generous."
 
 "It's good to see you smile again," Mac said softly. "I've missed that 
the 
 past recently."
 
 "Yeah, well I haven't forgotten about that," Harm said quietly. 
"Clay's 
 still searching for me."
 
 "I know. But I'm glad you've been able to step back a bit and give 
yourself 
 a break from it."
 
 "Well it was that or the Admiral was going to be sending me packing" 
Harm 
 said with a small smile.
 
 "Yeah like he'd ever do that" Mac scoffed. "Who else would antagonize 
 Singer?"
 
 "Yeah it is pretty fun and I am pretty good at it" he grinned. 
"Thanks. You 
 know I have no idea what I'd do without you."
 
 "You don't have to flatter me, I'm already buying you dinner" Mac 
teased. 
 "And the feeling is the very mutual."

"Where did you have in mind, and if you say Blackie's House of Beef, 
you're a dead 
woman."  

"No something in Georgetown.  Jules maybe?  For one of their great 
salads."
=================
Jules of Georgetown
3 hours later

"Have I told you how nice you look?" Harm whispered as he pulled out 
her chair.

"No and don't.  I don't want to have a cardiac arrest before I eat," 
she teased, 
reaching up to touch his cheek.  "Thank you Commander.  And as always 
you cut a 
dashing figure in your black turtleneck and jeans."

"You're a beautiful woman Mac," he said softly.  "But that's not why I 
. . . "  He 
stopped and looked at her helplessly.  "That word sticks and it 
shouldn't."

"It won't when the time is right," she smiled.  "Sit down, have a drink 
if you want, 
and let's eat.  We're celebrating your win."

"Thanks.  I wish we'd hear from Clay though," he frowned while he 
picked up the 
menu, reaching for her hand across the table as he spoke.

"Harm you know if there was anything you should know we would.   Have 
you 
called him since yesterday and never mind what a stupid question."

"No response," he murmured.  "I know these things take time but this 
waiting is 
hard.   And you know Clay--he doesn't share what he's doing."

"He's worked alone for a long time," Mac reminded him.  "Give it a rest 
for a bit.  
What are you eating? "
=================
Four more days passed without incident, and without hearing from Clay.  
Harm was 
growing increasingly agitated, both from the not knowing what Clay was 
doing and 
from a growing apprehension that there was trouble on the horizon.

It was almost 1PM when he returned from court, starving and wondering 
if Mac had 
eaten.  She had told him she would be in her office all morning doing 
paperwork 
and a quick glance told him her office was empty and dark.  "Odd," he 
murmured.  
"Tiner, where did Colonel Mackenzie go?"

"Go sir?"

"Go as in her office is empty Tiner," he replied with exaggerated 
patience.

"Sir I'm sorry.  She hasn't signed out on the board and if she left, 
she didn't say 
anything to me."

"How about the Admiral?"

"No sir, sitting promotion board all day at Navpercen."

"Thanks Tiner," he scowled, reaching for his messages.

"Sir is something wrong?"

"Probably not.  It just feels that way."  Harm looked quickly through 
his messages 
and strode to his office, hoping to find a note from her.  To his 
undying relief,  she 
had left a message on his voice mail.  "Harm I've gone to meet Clay.  
He said it's 
urgent and wants you to join us as soon as you get this."  Those terse 
words were 
followed by an address in Herndon.  "Herndon why Herndon?" he muttered, 
immediately dialing her cell number, and not surprised when there was 
no 
response.  He was even less so when he tried Clay's, and his 
apprehension grew.  
It simply did not feel right.

"Clay this had better not be some cloak and dagger BS," he groaned when 
he 
drove through Herndon twenty minutes later, discovering the address was 
taking 
him out of the small city to the other side where the area was zoned 
industrial.  An 
older area, many of the complexes were deserted and he looked again at 
the 
address, feeling more than a few shivers of worry grab at his spine and 
his concern 
shift from the truth to one thing and one thing only--Mac.

  He located the address he'd been given, a deserted old warehouse. 
With his 
  apprehension growing, he slowly made his way to the door, knowing 
something 
  wasn't right. There was no way Clay would have asked them to meet him 
there.
  
  "Please Lord let her be okay," Harm said as he entered the warehouse.
  
  Cautiously he made his way in, looking around for any sign of Mac. 
The old 
  building was cold and dark and he looked around for a switch. He 
finally 
  located one, bathing the room with light. He looked around the large 
room, 
  not surprised to find it empty.
  
  "Mac" he called softly as he started towards the hallway with several 
small 
  offices. "Mac."
  
  There was no answer and with his fear increasing with each step, he 
tried 
  the first door. He opened it slowly; almost afraid of what he might 
find. 
  The office was empty with the exception of a few boxes and he quickly 
made 
  his way to the next office.
  
  His cell phone rang as he opened the door and he quickly pulled it 
from his 
  coat pocket.
  
  "Rabb" he said tersely.
  
  "I warned you before Harmon. You obviously didn't listen very well."
  
  "Where is she?" Harm demanded. "Dammit, if you've hurt her, I swear 
I'll 
  hunt you down and strangle you with my bare hands."
  
  "Have you learned your lesson yet?" the voice he recognized once 
again as 
  Sergei asked.
  
  "Where is she" Harm repeated angrily.
  
  "You'll find her Harmon, but this is your last warning. If you and 
Mr. Webb 
  don't stop your search, the next time, you won't be so lucky. I 
promise you 
  Harmon, you will lose those that you love most if you don't give this 
up."
  
  The connection was broken and Harm flipped the phone closed 
irritably.
  
  "Mac" he called as he hurried to the next office. "Mac."
  
  By the time he reached the last door his fear had reached epic 
proportions, 
  afraid he wasnt going to find her. With desperation growing, he swung 
open 
  the door. She was sitting on the floor, bound and gagged.
  
  "Oh god Mac" he cried as he hurried to her. "I'm so sorry."
  
  "Harm" she gasped when he removed the gag. He quickly untied her 
hands 
  before gathering her into his arms.
  
  "I'm so sorry" he whispered as held her tightly. "Did they hurt you?"
  
  "No, I'm fine" she said as she clung to him. "And its not your fault. 
I 
  should have known better."
  
  For several minutes he just held her, thanking God that she was still 
alive. 
  His worst fears had almost come true and he swallowed hard at the 
thought of 
  what he might have found.
  
  "Come on, let's get you out of here" he said finally. With his arm 
still 
  around her, he gently helped her to her feet, not able to resist the 
urge to 
  hold her again. "I was so scared" he whispered as he held her tightly 
again. 
  "I didn't know what I was going to find."
  
  "I was so afraid they were going to hurt you when you got here" Mac 
  whispered. "I knew you would come and I thought they were going to 
hurt you 
  again."
  
  "No, it was just another warning" Harm sighed. "And this time they 
have my 
  attention."
  
  "Harm, you're not going to let this stop you are you?" she asked as 
she 
  stepped back to look at him.
  
  "Mac, they could have killed you" Harm shrieked. "I could be holding 
your 
  dead body right now."
  
  "Harm" Mac said softly.
  
  "No" he shouted. "I won't let them hurt you. And if I don't stop 
this, they 
  will. And I can't live with that."
  
  "Harm, they only got to me because I was stupid" Mac countered. "I 
know how 
  much finding out what happened to your father means to you."
  
  "Not as much as you do" he whispered. "Mac, we don't even know if 
he's 
  alive. For all I know, he's dead. And I can live with that. I have 
for 
  almost three years. What I can't live with is losing you."
  
  "Harm, don't do this" Mac started again.
  
  "No" he shouted again. "It's over Mac. I'm not going to go through 
with 
  this. I can't."
 
 "You know the not knowing, the wondering, is going to tear you apart," 
she pointed 
out softly.  "You  know that now that you've started you can't let it 
go, and if you try 
you're going to make yourself miserable, and me right along side you."
 
 "Yeah well I'd rather have you miserable at my side than me standing 
at your 
grave site," he retorted, reluctantly letting her go.  "And if I don't 
stop, that's what's 
going to happen.  I can feel it.  And I don't want to talk about it any 
more right now 
please.  You're sure you're OK?  They didn't hurt you anywhere?"
 
 "No, honestly," she promised.  "I walked in, fully expecting to find 
Clay because 
this is the kind of stuff he likes, and then this guy suddenly was 
behind me and the 
next thing I'm waking up tied up."
 
 "Whoa wait a damn minute," he exploded.  "Waking up?  Did he hit you?"  
Before 
she could answer he was probing the back of her head.
 
 "I don't. . .ooowwww," she gasped.  "OK that would explain the 
headache.  I guess 
he did."
 
 "OK I'm taking you home.  And don't even start to argue.  You know you 
won't 
win."  His arm went back around her as he led her to the car where he 
stood 
uncertainly for a minute.  
 
 "Harm I can drive.  It's just a headache.  Please.  You know the 
'vette won't be 
here if we leave it, and I don't want to come back out here anyway."
 
 "OK but I'm riding your bumper all the way back," he agreed, walking 
her to her car 
and installing her carefully.
 
 They reached Georgetown without incident and once inside Mac's 
apartment, 
Harm had her on the sofa, two Advils in her and an ice bag to the back 
of her head 
all in ten minutes.
 
 "Harm do the words, 'Harm I'm fine' mean anything to you?"
 
 "Do the words shut up and rest?" he retorted, "and before you ask, no 
thanks."
 
 "I'm sorry?"
 
 "No thanks I don't want to talk about it any more."
 
 "Then would you at least stop pacing and come sit with me," she 
begged.  "Big 
bad Marine here doesn't really like admitting it, but I was scared.  
Not just for 
myself, but for you."
 
 "Yeah well these people could have taken us both.  But that's not what 
they want.  
Probably because it would draw attention to them.  But for some other 
reason 
which I can't begin to comprehend, they don't want us totally out of 
the picture."  He 
made one more lap around the room and came to sit with her, wrapping 
his arm 
around her shoulders to urge her to rest against him.
 
 "You think we're pawns in some game don't you," she said with sudden 
realization.
 
 "Something like that," he sighed.  "It's just all a jumble of pieces 
right now and 
none of it making sense."  With his free hand he reached up to rub his 
temple, his 
own head aching and she smiled softly, pushing his fingers away to be 
replaced by 
her own.
 
 A half hour later she was sleeping and Harm carefully extracted 
himself from her, 
remembering a phone call of a few days ago and that the number was in 
his wallet. 
He pulled the afghan from the back of the sofa over her and walked to 
the kitchen 
to make his call.
 
 "Hey it's Rabb.  Your offer for the weekend still open?  I could 
really use the time 
away. . . .Sounds good.  I'll be there.  And thanks."  He disconnected 
and returned 
to Mac, this time sitting so that he could lift her head to rest in his 
lap.  His fingers 
squiggled softly in her hair as he felt a sudden tearfulness--tears 
born of frustration 
and of love. . .love for this brave woman who would follow him 
anywhere, even to 
her death he feared.
 
 That evening he fixed her dinner, and they sat together watching a 
movie.  Only 
when he had received multiple assurances that she was all right would 
he leave.  
The next day and the next business was as usual at JAG. Harm did not 
mention his 
father, and Mac knew better than to approach him on the subject.
 
 At 5PM on Friday she looked up to find him leaning against her 
doorjamb watching 
her.
 
 "Let me guess, you're here to offer me a deal in the McMichael 
assault," she 
smiled.  "We could discuss it over dinner if you'd like?"
 
 "McMichael deserves everything I can throw at him," he scowled.  "And 
thanks, but 
I wanted to tell you I wasn't going to be around this weekend."
  
 "Why not?" she demanded.
 
 "Mac, I need some space" he sighed.
 
 "You're going to go after Sergei aren't you?"
 
 "No. I promise I'm not doing anything like that," he said quietly.
 
 "Where are you going?" she asked.
 
 "I can't tell you. I'm just going to take some time away to get my 
head 
 straight. But I promise you I'm not going after Sergei or anything 
like 
 that."
 
 "But you won't tell me where you're going?"
 
 "No. But I promise I'll call and let you know everything is okay. And 
make 
 sure you're okay."
 
 "Harm, I don’t like the idea of you going off somewhere alone" Mac 
sighed. 
 "You're not in the right frame of mind for that."
 
 "I'll be okay," he said quietly. "And I'll call. I promise."
 
 "You better" she said as she stood up and walked over him. "I happen 
to care 
 about you very much. And I'm very worried about you."
 
 "I'll be okay" he repeated. "If you hear from Clay, let him know what 
 happened. And tell him this whole thing is off."
 
 "I won't do that. Because I don't think that's what you want to do. 
You'll 
 have to tell him that yourself."
 
 "Fine. But that is what I want to do."
 
 "When are you leaving for wherever you're going to?" Mac asked softly.
 
 "Now. I just need to talk to the Admiral and then I'm gone. I'll be 
back 
 late Sunday night."
 
 "Will you stop by my place when you get back in town?"
 
 "I can do that" he nodded. "I'm not sure what time it will be though."
 
 "That's okay. I just want to know you're home safe and that you're 
okay."
 
 "Well then I guess I'll see you then" he said quietly.
 
 "You're not leaving here without letting me give you a hug," Mac said 
softly 
 as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around 
him. 
 "Take care of yourself sailor."
 
 "You too Marine" Harm whispered as he held her tightly. He hated 
leaving her 
 alone but he knew once he talked to the Admiral he wouldn't have to 
worry 
 about that.
 
 He finally let go of her and slowly walked from her office to AJ's. 
"Tiner, 
 I need to see the Admiral," he said quietly. "Is he available?"
 
 "Everything okay?" AJ asked as Harm sat down.
 
 "Sir, I need you to keep an eye on Mac this weekend. I'm going out of 
town 
 and I want to make sure she's okay."
 
 "This is because of what happened the other day isn't it?" AJ asked 
and Harm 
 nodded. "You're not going after these people are you?"
 
 "No sir. I'm just going out of town to try and get my head straight. 
This 
 has been harder than I thought and I just need some space. But I'm 
still 
 concerned about Mac being here alone."
 
 "I'll keep an eye on her" AJ promised. "And she won't even know I'm 
there."
 
 "Thank you sir. I'm pretty sure that now I'm giving up on this they'll 
leave 
 her alone but I'd feel better if I knew someone was looking out for 
her."
 
 "You're giving up on finding out what happened to your father?"
 
 "Yes sir. I can't risk Mac's life or Mom's like this. I wouldn't be 
able to 
 live with myself if anything happened to either of them."
 
 "Harm" AJ started.
 
 "Sir, please I'd rather not discuss this" Harm said with a long sigh.
 
 "All right" AJ said gently. "I won't push. And I'll keep an eye on Mac 
until 
 you get back."
 
 "Thank you sir. I'll see you on Monday."
 
 He hurried from the Admiral's office and to the elevator, not wanting 
to 
 talk to anyone else. Minutes later he was on his way south towards 
Norfolk. 
 Three hours later he pulled up at the address he'd been given.
 
 "Harm" Keeter grinned when he opened the door. "Been a long time 
buddy."
 
 "Yeah it has" Harm agreed. "Nice place you're renting here."
 
 "Thanks" Keeter said as he let Harm in. "I figured I was going to be 
here 
 for a few months I might as well get something nice."
 
 "It's nice" Harm said again, dropping his bag with a long sigh.
 
 "You're not here for a good time are you?" Keeter said knowingly. 
 "Something's on your mind buddy. What do you say we go grab some 
dinner and 
 you can tell me about it?"
 
 "I'm not real hungry" Harm protested.
 
 "Yeah well you can watch me eat cause I am" Keeter smiled. "And then 
you can 
 tell me what's got you in such a funk."
 
  HARVEY's RESTAURANT
Virginia Beach VA

"Just a beer please," Harm nodded to the server, and shook his head 
while Keeter 
proceeded to order fries smothered with chili.  "Boy that stuff is 
going to clog your 
arteries or eat out your stomach lining I''m not sure which first."

"But I'll die a well fed man," he grinned.  "Now why don't you tell me 
what you're 
doing here.  Why you drove all this way.  I know it wasn't to see me.  
You're 
running from something Rabb, like you ran from the Academy that time I 
brought 
you back."

Their beers arrived and Harm took a long drink, then leaned closely 
over the table. 
"Let me tell you a story, a story about a trip to Russia.  Two trips to 
Russia in fact.  
To include a beautiful Marine who followed me there the first time, and 
the second 
came after me, risking her life to insure my safety.  And last of all 
about a father 
and a brother, whose stories I thought I knew, and who may turn out to 
be total 
fabrications.  In other words, damn lies.  Oh also about some people 
who are 
determined that I halt my search for the truth."

It took an hour to tell, Harm's capability to sway the members in 
closing arguments 
standing him in good stead as he managed to explain in calm detail the 
whole 
story.

"My God," Keeter managed when he was through.  "OK, now what I don't 
understand is why Mac isn't with you."

Harm looked at him incredulously.  

"Harm, I wished I had taped all that," Keeter smiled.  "Because  you 
mentioned 
Mac a good hundred times."

"I'm afraid for her Jack," he breathed in a rush of honesty.  "These 
people know 
exactly how to get to me---and it's through her."

"And that notion terrifies you."

"Oh yeah.  Big big time."

"Have you told her you love her?"

Harm's mouth opened and closed several times.  "Not actually no," he 
finally got 
out.  "But I don't think there's any doubt about how we feel.  It's 
just that after 
Renee and Brumby and my crash and her TAD and now this---somehow there 
doesn't seem to be room for us."

"There's room for it if you make it happen," Keeter told him, downing 
the last of his 
beer.  "Harm try putting as much priority on her that you do other 
things in your life.  
Answer me straight up now.  Do you love her?"

"Hell yes I do," he snorted, downing the last of his beer and looking 
for their server.

"Then let her know," Keeter told him.

"I need to," Harm admitted.  "But I don't want other things in our way 
when we do 
get to that point.  Where is that guy?"

"I've got beer for free at home.  Besides it will be convenient for you 
to pass out into 
your bed.  Move it Commander, and since you've come all this way, I can 
assure 
you we're not done talking."

"I need to call Mac," Harm realized as soon as they were back inside 
the beach 
house.  "How about that beer?"  

"Meet me on the deck," he told him.  Phone's right by the kitchen 
door."

It was not until he started dialing that he began to have second 
thoughts, knowing 
that he had left her; and his anxiety was only increased when the got 
her machine 
after the fourth ring.  "Mac it's me.  Pick up," he screeched.  
"Please."

"Harm relax I'm right here."  Her voice came back to him a moment 
later.  "Sorry.  I 
was indisposed."

"But you're OK?"

"Yeah of course I am.  Locked in for the night.  Now how are you?  More 
to the 
point, where are you and are you all right?"

"I've got my cell phone if you need me," he sighed.  "Yeah I'm fine.  
Just came back 
from dinner in fact."

"Your voice sounds like you drank more than you ate," she fretted.  

"Two beers that's all, promise," he smiled.  "Food  wouldn't have set 
well, but the 
beers did."

There was silence for a moment until he cleared his throat.  "Look Mac 
there is so 
much I want to say to you, and right now I can't, and especially not 
over the phone.  
I'll be back Sunday evening and I'll be by then.  Promise."

"You better.  I miss you.  And I'm worried about you.  I'm still not 
sure what made 
you take off like you did.  But if it's helping to see things clearly. 
. ."

"Thank you," he cut her off.  "Remember if you talk to Clay, he's to 
stop any effort 
on my behalf here."

"Harm. . ."

"Don't Mac.  Look Keeter's waiting.  Talk to you later.  I'll call you 
tomorrow.  Good 
night."  And with that, the connection was broken.

And over a hundred miles away a pretty Marine put down the phone, 
feeling 
distress and relief at the same time.  Keeter--he had gone to Keeter so 
at least he 
was not alone.  "Take care of him Jack," she breathed, "You too Lord."  
    
 "So how is she?" Keeter asked as Harm joined him on the porch.
 
 "She's fine, thank goodness" Harm sighed as he sat down and opened a 
beer.
 
 "And now she'll stop worrying about you for the moment" Keeter smiled. 
"If 
 you were in this much of a funk when you left she was probably worried 
sick 
 about you going off alone."
 
 "She's probably glad I'm gone actually," Harm said after a long gulp 
of 
 beer. "I've been driving her crazy since before Christmas."
 
 "I doubt that. So what are you going to do? You're not really going to 
give 
 this up are you?"
 
 "Keeter, I can't risk her life" Harm said quietly. "I can't do it."
 
 "Did you ask her how she feels about this?"
 
 "Keeter, she followed me to Russia the first time and was nearly 
killed 
 because of me then. I know how she feels. But that isn't going to 
change my 
 mind."
 
 "Harm, I've known you long enough to know that you won't be able to 
let this 
 go. You'll say you are but inside it will be eating you up."
 
 "No, I have to let it go this time" Harm said softly. "This time 
there's too 
 much at stake. Back then I didn't care what happened to me. Now I care 
very 
 much what happens to Mac."
 
 "You are so in love buddy it's not even funny," Keeter said with a 
long 
 sigh. "And why you're sitting here drinking beers with me instead of 
letting 
 that beautiful woman take care of you, I'm clueless."
 
 "It's complicated," Harm said with another long swig of beer. "How 
much of 
 this did you say you got in there?"
 
 "Gonna be a long night" Keeter said as he headed into the house to get 
more 
 beers.
 
 By midnight, they'd nearly finished off the twelve pack and a slightly 
less 
 drunk Keeter helped a more drunk Harm into the house.
 
 "This way buddy" Keeter said as he directed Harm to the bedroom. "Man 
you 
 are going to have one major hangover tomorrow."
 
 "Feels good tonight" Harm grinned. It had taken a few but the beer had 
 finally done it's magic, making him oblivious for the moment to 
everything 
 that seemed to be weighing so heavily on his shoulders.
 
 "Come on, on the bed" Keeter said as Harm stumbled to it.
 
 Minutes later he was passed out on the bed and Keeter threw the 
blankets 
 over him.
 
 "Night Harm" he said as he looked down at his friend.
 
 It was the sound of Harm stumbling to the bathroom the next morning 
that 
 woke Keeter from his slumber. With a long groan he pushed himself out 
of bed 
 to check on his friend.
 
 "You okay?" Keeter asked as he found Harm lying against the wall of 
the 
 bathroom.
 
 "No, and if I'm lucky I won't live much longer" Harm groaned.
 
 "Yeah well a certain Marine would be very upset if that was the case" 
Keeter 
 smiled as he wet a wash cloth with cold water and handed it to Harm.
 
 He was about reply when his stomach revolted again and with a sigh 
Keeter 
 headed to the kitchen. His friend was in need of the TLC and not from 
him. 
 He picked up the phone and hit the redial button, remembering that 
Harm's 
 call to Mac had been the last call made.
 
 "Colonel Mackenzie."
 
 "Mac, its Keeter."
 
 "Is Harm okay?" Mac demanded, immediately thinking the worst.
 
 "Right now he's not feeling so good," Keeter said with a small smile. 
"He 
 had a few too many last night. And he's going to be nursing a major 
hangover 
 on top of everything else."
 
 "He got drunk" Mac sighed. "I should have known."
 
 "Mac, he needs you" Keeter said quietly. "Why don't you come down 
here?"
 
 "Does he know you're calling me?" Mac asked.
 
 "No. And he'll probably be mad that I did but he really does need 
you."
 
 "You really think I should come down?"
 
 "Yes. He's hurting Mac."
 
 "I know he is Keeter" Mac said softly. "And I hate seeing him go 
through 
 this."
 
 "So do I. So will you come down?"
 
 He hung with a small smile, Mac promising to leave within the hour. He 
 headed back to the bathroom to check on Harm.
 
 "You look like hell buddy" Keeter teased. "Man you really did a number 
on 
 yourself this time."
 
 "Save the gloating for later please" Harm groaned. "Just kill me now. 
"

"Whatever floats your boat," Keeter teased, reaching behind him to turn 
on the 
shower.  "OK, shower and Tylenol, and I'm going to put on some coffee 
and toast.  
I don't think you can handle anything more than that.  And some fresh 
air--
breakfast on the deck.  Move that rear Commander."

"What are the chances I could be struck by lightning under this 
shower," he 
mumbled when Keeter had left them, dropping his boxers to the floor and 
climbing 
in under the steamy water.

"Still alive huh?"  Keeter was just dishing up an omelet for himself as 
toast popped.

"Barely," Harm groaned.  "How can something that seemed like such a 
good idea 
last night be so wrong this morning.  And why aren't you dying anyway?"

"I had two to your four," he reminded him, "and I always could hold my 
liquor better 
than you."

"I'm now on the wagon," he declared.  "So other than my funeral, what's 
on the 
schedule for this morning?"

"You want to take some rods out and surf cast?"

"Yeah OK," he agreed, putting his feet up on an empty chair and staring 
out over 
the water. "This is a good place you've got here."

"Well I thought for weekend entertaining," he laughed.  "But I haven't 
met anyone 
yet who'll accept my invite."

"You must work with some smart women," Harm groaned and his thoughts 
immediately went to Mac, a fact not lost on Keeter from the look on his 
face.

"How long have you been in love with her?  Back when we were in Iran 
certainly."

"Oh yeah," Harm nodded without hesitation, his physical misery making 
him less 
likely to censor his words.

"Before that?"

Harm gave his friend a helpless shrug.  "Yeah of course.  I guess when 
we went 
into the Shenandoah and she was almost killed by the poachers was when 
it was 
really driven home to me.  I remember I promised God that if He would 
just allow 
me to get her home safe I would not hide any more how I felt."

"But you did," Keeter nodded knowingly.  "You didn't say a word to her, 
and you 
went on to see other women on top of that."

"What are you, the keeper of my sins?" he groused.  "Yeah of course I 
didn't tell 
her.  My head went so far up my six it wasn't seen again.  But then she 
did the 
same thing.  Does the name Mic Brumby ring a bell?"

"Only from you whining about him.  Come on, let's see if the fish are 
biting."
==============
They passed the morning doing that, and then took a ride along the 
beach in 
Keeter's jeep.  "I'm going to work on a couple things around the 
house," Keeter 
announced when they returned.  "You want to sack out on the hammock by 
all 
means."

"No I think I'll take a walk up the beach," he sighed.  He turned away 
and then 
turned back.  "Keeter, I'm thinking about calling Mac. You wouldn't 
care if she 
joined us would you?"

Keeter stifled a laugh, not wanting to spoil the surprise.  "No of 
course not.  Tell her 
to bring a friend for me."

"Well I don't know if I'm going to," he sighed again.  "I came to get 
away, to have 
some quiet time to think and reflect, and to give her a break from me, 
and now all 
of a sudden, it's like I'm not whole without her or something."

"It's called love Buddy," he laughed heartily.  "Hey if you get real 
bored, you can 
help me dismantle a sump pump."

"Pass.  I'll be on the beach."
    
 Keeter was working in the garage when Mac pulled up a short time 
later.
 
 "Hey Mac" Keeter smiled as he greeted her. "You're looking good as 
ever."
 
 "Thanks Keeter" Mac smiled as well. "You're looking pretty good too. 
Where's 
 Harm?"
 
 "He went for walk on the beach. He was going to call you you know. 
Well he 
 was thinking about it anyway."
 
 "How's he doing?" Mac asked.
 
 "Hanging in there. To be honest Mac, I've never seen him in this much 
of a 
 funk before. Even that time he left the Academy he wasn’t like this. 
This 
 thing with his dad is really eating him up."
 
 "Yeah it is" Mac sighed. "And that's why I can't let him give up on 
it. No 
 matter what he says. It will slowly destroy him if he does."
 
 "Well good luck convincing him that" Keeter smiled. 'The only thing on 
his 
 mind is you and making sure nothing happens to you. He doesn't care 
about 
 himself right now."
 
 "I wish he wouldn't worry about me so much. I can handle this."
 
 "Well I know that and you know that but Commander Stubborn out there 
isn't going 
 to change his mind. He cares about you a lot you know."
 
 "And I care about him too" Mac said softly. "I'm going to go find him. 
Do 
 you know which direction he went?"
 
 "Keeter pointed her the direction Harm had gone and she trotted down 
to the 
 beach, finally spotting him sitting on the beach like he'd been when 
they 
 were on Diego Garcia. She walked slowly towards him and it wasn’t 
until she 
 was right near him that she spoke.
 
 "We seem to keep meeting on beaches sailor," she said softly.
 
 "Mac" he whispered as he looked up, her smiling facing looking back at 
him.
 
 "Surprise" she smiled.
 
 "How did you?" he started and then stopped. "Keeter called you didn't 
he?"
 
 "Yes because he was worried about you," Mac said as she sat down 
beside him 
 in the sand. "So don't be mad at him."
 
 "I'm not" he sighed. "He's a good friend to put up with me."
 
 "Yeah I heard you had a few too many last night," Mac said quietly. "I 
can 
 tell you from experience that doesn’t make it go away."
 
 "Yeah I know" Harm said with a small laugh. "Just makes you feel even 
 worse."
 
 "So you want to tell me why you needed to get away so bad? And why you 
 didn’t want to tell me where you were going?"
 
 "I thought I needed some time alone. But honestly, I missed you. I 
guess 
 I've gotten pretty used to having you around."
 
 "Well good cause I'm pretty used to having you around too" Mac smiled.
 
 "Mac, I'm serious about stopping the search for my Dad" Harm said 
quietly. 
 "I care about you too much to risk your life."
 
 "I was hoping you'd changed your mind," she said softly.
 
 "No Mac, I haven't. It's not worth the risks."
 
 "Not knowing what happened to your father isn't worth it?" she asked 
gently.
 
 "Not when it puts your life in danger" he said quickly.
 
 "Harm, I wish you'd let me be the one who decides if I want to take 
the 
 risk. I know one day you're going to wake up and regret this 
decision."
 
 "No. I can live with it as long as I have you in my life."
 
 "Harm" she started.
 
 "Mac, I've made my decision. It wasn't easy but I know I'm doing the 
right 
 thing. So please don’t question me on this anymore."
 
 "All right" Mac said softly. "I won't question you. It's your 
decision. But 
 I'm on the record as saying I don't agree with it and if you change 
your 
 mind, you'll know I'll be behind you."
 
 "Thank you" he said as he looked over at her. "For everything. For 
being the 
 one person I can always count on no matter what."
 
 "And I'll always be that person" she said softly. "You mean a lot to 
me 
 sailor. More than you'll ever know."
 
 "No Sarah I do" he whispered, slowly leaning forward, his lips gently 
 brushing hers. "I do because you mean even more to me"
 
 She smiled softly as she reached for his hand. "I'm really glad Keeter 
 called me."
 
 "So am I" he smiled as well.

His free arm shot out to wrap her into his embrace and he pulled them 
both down 
onto the sand.  With total privacy provided by the sand dunes he 
pressed her flat 
and kissed her long and hard.  "Can you tell I missed you?"

"No not at all," she responded, trapping the back of his head with her 
palm for 
another kiss.

"I need you in my life," he breathed.  "And if I ever again try to deny 
that I want you 
to kick my six up between my shoulder blades.  I need you.  You 
complete me--you 
make me whole."

She sniffled slightly at his emotional admission.  "Walk me up the 
beach Sailor.  
And if you want to stop for some of that kissing, well I'm not exactly 
going to 
scream."

He got to his feet and pulled her up with him, his eyes holding tightly 
with hers.  "I'm 
glad you're here.  And I feel really good about my decision.  I want 
you to know 
that."

"Well you sound more like you're convincing yourself than me," she told 
him lightly.  
"But if that's what you want.  I told you I would support you no matter 
what."  Her 
hands went to his shoulders and she squeezed carefully.  "Just do it 
for the right 
reasons.  That you feel like it should not be dredged up.  Not for some 
misplaced 
fear."

"It's not misplaced," he reminded her firmly.  "This thing nearly cost 
your life a few 
weeks back.  It's over."

She threw up her hands in surrender.  "OK Squid.  I'm not about to 
argue with that 
Rabb logic because it's useless.  Let's take that walk."  He started to 
reach for her 
hand and instead locked his arm across her shoulders.  "I'm glad you're 
here," he 
repeated, pulling her as close to him as he could.

"I'm glad I'm here too," she replied, resting her head against him as 
they walked.  
For an hour they traversed the beach, saying very little.  No words 
were necessary 
as the bond between them deepened further.

"There you guys are," Keeter called from the deck where he was tending 
a roaring 
barbecue.  

"Keeter do not burn down a place you don't own," Harm chided him. "What 
kind of 
dead animal are you cooking?"

"It's going to be chicken," he replied.  "And for that dead animal 
crack, all you get is 
the two wings."

"You boys behave, I'm going to go put on something warmer.  The beach 
was 
great but I'm cold and damp from the spray," Mac called.

"You should have said something," Harm scolded.  "You OK?"

"Fine Big Brother.  Be back in ten."

"You do worry over her," Keeter observed.

"Oh yeah," he admitted, staring into the fire for a few minutes before 
he spoke 
again.  "God Keeter on Diego they told me they could not promise she'd 
be OK and 
it was like I'd been gut-punched.  I don't ever in my lifetime want to 
hear those 
words again where she's concerned."

"But you haven't told her you love her?"

"Now you sound like Webb," he growled.  "Look some things don't have to 
be said.  
Some things are just understood.  Plus we were apart for so long while 
she was 
engaged to that Australian clown and. . .it's all just coming together 
and it's pretty 
tenuous."

"OK I can understand that," he nodded.  "But don't let it go too long.  
You know 
that's how she and Bozo ended up together.  She wanted someone who 
would tell 
her the words."

"Thanks Keeter but when I need advice on my love life. . ."

"You have a love life?" Mac's teasing voice interrupted him.

"Well it's on my wish list," Harm laughed.

"Mine too," she returned, holding his gaze, and proving him right.  
Some things do 
not have to be said.

"Keeter you burn a mean chicken," Harm grinned later at the table.  

"My secret barbecue sauce recipe," he grinned as well.  "So now what?  
You guys 
go back to DC?"

"Yeah and we let Clay know this search thing is done," Harm nodded 
firmly.  
"Harmon Rabb Senior is a part of the past.  This right here is the 
future."

 "Took you long enough to figure that out" Keeter smiled as Mac 
blushed. 
 "Seriously you two are going to spend the night and leave tomorrow. 
The 
 Colonel and I have some catching up to do."
 
 "In your dreams Commander" Mac teased.
 
 "That's for sure," Harm said as he draped his arm over Mac's shoulder.
 
 "Came blame a guy for trying" Keeter sighed. "But seriously, you two 
will 
 stay.  We'll play some cards, drink a few beers."
 
 "How about we watch a movie and drink something besides beer" Mac 
grinned.
 
 "That would work too," Keeter said sheepishly.  "Harm, what do you 
think?"
 
 "Sounds good to me. I for one am enjoying this little break."
 
 Dinner was cleaned up and after a quick trip to the video store, they 
 settled in to watch the action flick that Keeter had picked out. Harm 
and 
 Mac had taken the spot on the sofa, and she snuggled happily against 
him. 
 She made it half way through the movie before falling asleep in Harm's 
arms.
 
 "That was dumb," Keeter said as he flicked off the TV. "Guess Mac 
thought so 
 too. You know she looks pretty good there in your arms."
 
 "Well it feels real good to be holding her," Harm said softly. "And 
this is 
 why I have to leave the past in the past."
 
 "You sure about that buddy?" Keeter asked.
 
 "Yes I am" Harm sighed. "I have everything I need right here."
 
 He carried her to the bedroom he'd been sleeping in, gently tucking 
her in 
 under the covers.
 
 "Night Harm " she murmured.
 
 "Night Sarah" he said before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.
 
 ******************
 "Keeter, thanks for everything" Harm said over breakfast at one of the 
local 
 diners.
 
 "No problem buddy" Keeter smiled. "Just glad to help. And you know I'm 
going 
 to be hanging out here for a few months so you could stop by when you 
need a 
 weekend away."
 
 "We could probably manage that" Mac spoke up.
 
 "Yeah especially now that life is going to be a lot quieter" Harm said 
with 
 a small smile.
 
 Before Keeter could reply Harm's cell phone rang and he pulled it out 
of his 
 coat pocket.
 
 "Rabb….Hello…"
 
 "Harm it's Clay" came the far away voice.
 
 "Clay, where the hell are you?" Harm asked. "I can barely hear you. I 
think 
 we've got a bad connection or something."
 
 "I'm in Russia"
 
 "Russia" Harm shouted, drawing the attention of others in the diner. 
"What 
 the hell are you doing there?"
 
 "I don't have time to explain. Look, I'm in a bit of trouble over 
here. I 
 need your help."
 
 "What kind of trouble?" Harm asked. "Clay?"
 
 "I can't talk right now. Please, I need your help. I can't call anyone 
at 
 the agency since I'm here on my own accord."
 
 "Where exactly are you?" Harm asked.
 
 "Moscow. I was trying to get to Beloyka when I ran into a little 
problem."
 
 "What kind of problem?"
 
 "Sergei" Clay said weakly.
 
 "Clay are you okay?" Harm demanded. "Clay."
 
 "Yeah I'm here."
 
 "Where are you. I need a little more than you're in Moscow."
 
 He rattled off an address and Harm quickly wrote it down on the 
napkin. 
 "Clay, I'll be there as soon as I can."
 
 "Thanks Harm" Clay said before the connection was lost
 
 "Harm, what's going on?" Mac asked as soon as Harm had hung up.
 
 "Clay's in Moscow" Harm said quietly. "He's in some kind of trouble. I 
think 
 he had a run in with Sergei."
 
 "Is he okay?" Mac demanded. "Is he hurt?"
 
 "I don't know" Harm sighed. "He didn't sound good. I have to go over 
there. 
 He needs help."
 
 "Not alone you're not," Mac said quickly. "I'm going with you."
 
 "Mac"
 
 "No way you are ditching me sailor. He's my friend too and if he's in 
 trouble I'm going to help."
 
 A short time later they stood in Keeter's driveway saying goodbye.
 
 "Harm, you know if you need anything to call" Keeter said seriously. 
"I mean 
 it. Day or night."
 
 "Thanks I may take you up on that" Harm sighed. "Right now I just want 
to 
 get over there and get Clay and get him out of there before anyone 
else gets 
 hurt."

"Thanks Jack," Mac whispered, leaning up to kiss his cheek.  "Don't be 
a stranger 
up our way either."
 
"Count on it," he smiled.  "You take care of this old man now."

"Count on that," she smiled and walked toward the car, leaving Harm a 
chance to 
say his own good-bye.  

"I owe you Buddy, for a lot of things," he smiled and the two men 
exchanged a 
handshake and quick hug.   

"You sure going after Clay is the right thing to do?"

"For myself oh yeah," he sighed.  "For Mac no."

"Harm a piece of advice from a man who knows nothing about women but a 
lot 
about situations," Keeter smiled.  "In the first place I've seen her 
operate.  She 
gives a good account of herself.  And you need help.  You can't go 
alone."

He shuddered slightly as he took in Keeter's words.  "I know, but I was 
sure this 
was over, and now I'm risking her again."

"She can handle it.  Give her a little more credit and yourself a 
little less blame."

"Thanks oh wise one," he sighed, giving his friend's arm a quick 
squeeze before 
hurrying to the car.  Mac was already behind the wheel and he slipped 
into the 
driver's seat without comment.

"Take it easy Flyboy," she smiled and squeezed his hand, knowing 
exactly what he 
was thinking.  "We'll get him out.  We."

"I hate that 'we', he sighed miserably.

"Yeah but you're stuck with it," she retorted.   "Do not -- do not -- 
attempt to ditch 
me."

"No I won't.  I need you.  I hate like hell that I need you on this, 
but I do."

Silence befell the car, undisturbed until they were about to stop for 
gas in 
Richmond when Harm's cell phone rang again.

"Rabb."

"Harm it's me again."

"Clay what?"

Mac looked over at him quizzically, seeing his face to be a study in 
alarm.

"Harm don't.  Listen up.  Don't come here.  Don't. . ."  There was the 
sharp report of 
gunfire and an equally sharp cry of pain, followed by silence.

THE END