TITLE:  “Past Present Future IX-Water Water Everywhere”
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
SUMMARY:  The eighth chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters of 
Lt. 
Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited.  All will be Harm-Mac 
stories of 
course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and violence.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement is 
intended with this work of fiction.
FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you’re moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it 
would be 
much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you are not 
liking our work, please don’t spend the time.  While we realize our 
work does not 
please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.


            NOTE:  All parts of this story, as well as much of our 
previous efforts, will be 
available at 
                     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
              No subbing is required to read from the message archives.
       
           Also, previous chapters, as well as our other efforts, 
should be available at:
          http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/
                        or the
       Harm-Mac shipper archive at-               
http://hmarchive.topcities.com/index2.html  [not always up and running]


Note:  For purposes of this story, the events of any episode after 
Adrift do not play a 
part.


Previously in the PPF series:  The search in Russia led to the truth 
from Pitchta, the 
old woman who confessed before she died that the whole of the Harm 
Sr./Sergei 
story was in fact just that.  Harm had gone missing shortly after 
hearing the news.  
Once he was located, he, along with Mac and Clay, returned to the U.S.  
Shortly 
thereafter they were sent to a remote area of West Virginia to meet a 
contact.

The close of PPF Chapter VIII-Muddied Waters:
Harm floored the gas sending the SUV lurching forward, only to have the 
engine 
drown out as the rising water engulfed it.  

"Mac get out," he ordered, fearing that they would be trapped if they 
remained inside 
and the water washed over the SUV.  "Out now."  As he spoke he was 
reaching 
over to her, unlatching her seat belt and opening her door.  She took 
one look at him 
and then jumped from her seat, only to have her footing give way almost 
at once.  
She had just enough time to scream his name before the water wall hit 
her, 
sweeping her beneath the surface.  The cold was at once numbing as she 
tried to 
claw her way back to the surface, up to life giving air.   When she 
felt her lungs 
about to burst she opened her mouth for air.  Icy water flooded her 
lungs.  There 
was a brief moment of warmth and light, and then blackness.
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Past Present Future IX-Water Water Everywhere”

 "Sarah, please don’t do this to me. I need you. I love you."
 
 With desperation overwhelming him, Harm lowered his mouth to hers and 
 breathed in again, this time rewarded as she started to cough.
 
 "Easy it's okay I've got you" Harm whispered as he gently lifted her 
upright 
 while she coughed up the water from her lungs.
 
 "Harm" she gasped finally, falling against him in exhaustion.
 
 "It's okay, you're going to be okay" he said as he wrapped his arms 
around 
 her, trying to protect her from the driving rain. He had no idea how 
he'd 
 managed to find her in the rushing water and pull her to the side of 
the 
 creek that now resembled a river. When he'd found she wasn't 
breathing, he'd 
 been transported back to that awful moment in Russia when he hadn't 
been 
 able to save her. But this time there was no one else to help him and 
in 
 between rescue breaths he'd issued some prayers heavenward. 
Fortunately 
 those prayers had been answered.
 
 She coughed again, bringing him from his reverie and he realized he 
needed 
 to find shelter for them. The SUV had long since been swept down 
stream and 
 he had no idea how far away the nearest home was. All he knew was he 
had to 
 get them somewhere warm and dry.
 
 "Harm you saved my life" she whispered as she looked up at him.
 
 "I wasn't sure I was going to find you" he gulped. "You went over the 
edge 
 and I lost you in the water. I just dove in and prayed I'd find you. 
And 
 when I did" His voice broke off and he forced back a small sob.
 
 "You saved my life" she repeated softly.
 
 "I was so scared" he whispered. "Last time I couldn't do it. This time 
there 
 was no one else but me. And I couldn't lose you."
 
 "You didn't," she said with a shiver and he was once again reminded 
they 
 needed to find shelter.
 
 "Come on, we need to get help" he said as he helped her to her feet. 
Almost 
 at once her knees gave out, her body exhausted from fighting the 
water. He 
 quickly lifted her into his arms, hugging her close to him.
 
 "Harm I can walk, I just need a little help" she protested. "You can't 
carry 
 me the whole way."
 
 "Yes I can and this way you'll stay warmer."
 
 She didn't have the energy to fight him and with a long sigh dropped 
her 
 head against his shoulder, hugging him tight for warmth. She could 
feel him 
 shivering as well and she hoped that help wouldn't be too far away.
 
 He wasn't sure how far he'd walked before a set of headlights came 
towards 
 them, a large pickup truck stopping beside him.
 
 "Need some help Commander?" the man yelled as he rolled down the 
window.
 
 "Please" Harm groaned as he walked towards the truck. "You must be Mr. 
 Hardley?"
 
 "Yes sir. Earl Hardley at your service. What the hell happened to you 
two?" 
 he asked as Harm gently lifted Mac into the truck before climbing in 
 himself.
 
 "We got washed out on the bridge over Willow Creek" Harm explained.
 
 "I figured that. When we get these rains like this after the heavy 
snows, 
 that thing always floods. You're not the first that's happened to. 
That's 
 why I came down here. I figured when you didn't show up that either 
the 
 bridge had gotten washed out or you'd had some kind of trouble."
 
 "You could say that" Harm sighed. "She ended up in the creek and I 
almost 
 lost her."
 
 "You really got into trouble," Hardley said as he looked over at them. 
"You 
 okay Colonel?"
 
 "Yeah, just cold and sore" Mac said with a small smile.
 
 "I'll get you back to my place right quick" Hardley assured them.
 
 "Thank you. There aren't too many homes in the area are there?" Harm 
sighed.
 
 "No son, just those of us who like to be away from everyone else" 
Hardley 
 smiled.
 
 A few minutes later he pulled the large pickup in front of the small 
log 
 cabin home.
 
 "Commander, I'm not sure I've got anything that's going to fit you" 
Earl 
 said as he led them inside the home. "Colonel I do believe I've still 
got a 
 few of my wife's things that might fit you. Why don't you run into the 
 shower while I find them? First door on the left."
 
 "Go ahead" Harm urged as he led her down the hallway while Earl went 
to one 
 of the closets. "You get warmed up first."
 
 She nodded and seconds later stood under the warm shower. Harm knocked 
on 
 the door and left some clothes which Earl had found for her. She 
finally 
 forced herself from the warm water, knowing Harm would need to get 
warm as 
 well. She slipped on the knit pants and flannel shirt that Earl had 
found 
 and headed out to the others.
 
 "Your turn sailor" Mac said as Harm stood shivering near the fire. "Go 
on 
 and get warmed up."
 
 "I've got some hot tea for you Colonel" Earl said as he brought a 
steaming 
 cup to her. "And there's an afghan on the sofa there if you want to 
curl up 
 and get warm."
 
"You'll be OK?"  Harm stood at her side uncertainly, even though he was 
shivering 
yet from the cold water that soaked his clothes.

"Yeah, this is fixing me right up.  All I'm missing is you next to me 
and that can't 
happen until you're warm and dry.  Go."

"Sorry, just the spectacle of me pulling you out of the water more dead 
than alive 
has shaken me I guess."  He leaned down to drop a small kiss on the top 
of her still 
damp hair before hurrying to the bathroom.

"You two are not just partners, that's pretty obvious," Earl said with 
a soft smile.  
"Makes it hard to work together doesn't it."  It was a statement rather 
than a 
question.

"In some ways yeah," she admitted, "and in others it's just fine.  
We're best friends 
and partners and now we're lovers. . .OK that came out wrong.  We're 
not. . ."  She 
colored pink and Earl smiled again.  

"But you love him.  Moreover you're in love with him."

"Good grief is it that obvious?"

"You may as well be wearing the tee shirt," he grinned.

"Well as soon as my partner comes back, we'll want to ask you about 
General 
McNamara," she sighed.  "That was a pretty powerful letter you wrote to 
your 
Senator."

Earl walked silently into the kitchen and put some soup on the stove, 
puttering for 
several minutes before returning to the living room.

"I have pretty powerful feelings about the general," he admitted, going 
to the 
fireplace and adding another log as he saw her still shivering.  "A man 
who deserts 
under fire does not deserve to be appointed Deputy Chief of Staff for 
Latrine Duty, 
let alone for Intelligence."

She nodded and shivered again at the same time, the tea sloshing in the 
cup.

"Ma'am are you OK?" Earl asked.  "You really took a dunking didn't 
you?"

"I don't remember much of what happened," she sighed.  "Really only the 
cold, and 
then Harm holding me.  I guess I wasn't breathing."

"No you weren't."  Harm's voice from behind her, wearing some well worn 
sweats 
that Earl had located for him.  "For the second time in a very short 
period of time.  
Only this time it was just because your lungs were full of water.  But 
never mind that.  
You're shivering here badly and you shouldn't be.  It's warm enough in 
here and 
you're dry.  Honey what's wrong?"  He dropped to one knee in front of 
her and 
cupped her cheek with his palm.

"I'm all right really," she insisted.  "I just can't seem to feel warm 
for some reason.  In 
the shower I had the water up full to steaming and it still felt cool."  
She sniffled 
miserably, shaking her head. "I'm sorry to be such a pain."

"Yeah but you're my pain," Harm teased, sliding onto the sofa next to 
her and pulling 
her partly into his lap.  "I guess this looks funny to you sir," Harm 
smiled.  

"Not for two people in love," Earl grinned and gestured to the photos 
lining the 
mantel.  "I've been there.  Married Anna just before I shipped out in 
'68.  Two scared 
kids.  Both of us just turned eighteen."

"I got married at that age too," Mac whispered, "but it didn't work 
out.  I'm glad yours 
did."  She shivered again, and Harm pressed her more tightly to him, 
snuggling the 
afghan over her.

"Here try this," Earl offered, reaching into a nearby chest for another 
blanket which 
he tossed to Harm.  

"Thank you sir," Harm smiled, wasting no time in covering Mac with it.  

"Those would be your children?" she asked.  "Handsome Marine there."

"Lucas is with a force recon unit.  I'm afraid to ask where," Earl 
sighed.  "And 
Jessica and Johanna are both doctors at the University of Virginia 
Hospital at 
Charlottesville."

"You must be very proud sir," Harm smiled.  "Mrs. Hardley?"

"Anna died last winter," he said softly.  "Died in my arms of a massive 
heart attack in 
that bed back there after we had. . .well you get the idea."

"I'm so sorry," Mac sniffled and Harm hugged her again.  

"She's buried out back in a family plot," Earl went on.  "My folks, her 
folks, and a 
baby boy named Jason whom we barely got to hold before the Lord took 
him back."

That was too much for Mac in her exhausted state and she burst into 
tears, burying 
her head into Harm's shoulder.  

"Honey it's OK, Shhhh, it's OK," he soothed.

"Mr. Rabb, let her cry," Earl advised.  "She had a rough day.  She's 
entitled."
  
 "She's had more than a rough day" Harm sighed. "More like a rough 
month."
 "Sounds like a story there" Earl said with a small smile. "Why don't 
we 
 shelve McNamara until tomorrow when you're both up to it. I've got 
some soup 
 warming and then we'll just relax tonight"
 
 "Thank you" Harm said gratefully as he continued to gently stroke 
Mac's 
 hair. "I hope this isn't too much of an imposition"
 
 "Not at all son" Earl smiled. "I don't get many visitors and you were 
 risking your neck coming up to talk to me. I should have known that 
bridge 
 was going to be trouble and told you to come another time. As it is, 
you're 
 probably stuck here overnight at least. Longer depending upon how long 
the 
 rain keeps up. I hope you weren't in a hurry to get back to DC."
 
 "I guess we're not" Harm sighed. "You okay honey?"
 
 "Yes I think so" she sniffled as she raised her head from his 
shoulder. "I'm 
 sorry. Everything just caught up with me."
 
 "Why don't I get that soup" Earl smiled. "I'll bring it out here so 
you can 
 keep her nice and warm by the fire."
 
 "Thank you. We really appreciate all this."
 
 "No problem. I'll be right be."
 
 He headed off to the kitchen and Harm looked down at Mac again.
 
 "You really okay?" he asked softly.
 
 "Yeah. Just tired and emotionally spent" she sighed. "I guess earlier 
took a 
 lot more out of me then I realized."
 
 "Tell me about it" he shuddered as he remembered those awful moments 
when he 
 wasn’t sure he was going to be able to bring her back. "And it's not 
just 
 that. I've put too much on you the past month with the trips to Russia 
and 
 Vietnam."
 
 "Vietnam?" Earl said as he walked in carrying two steaming bowls of 
soup 
 that he set down on the small table in front of the sofa. "You two 
have been 
 over there recently?"
 
 "Unfortunately yes" Harm said quietly. "It's part of that long story."
 
 "Well I've got good ears if you want to talk" Earl smiled. "But why 
don't 
 you eat up first. That's some good homemade soup that will warm you 
right 
 up."
 
 "Yes it is" Mac said agreed after a spoonful.
 
 Over the bowls of soup they chatted more with Earl about his family. 
He 
 talked proudly of his three children and Mac gave Harm a small smile 
when 
 Earl talked about Anna.
 
 "Thank you for the soup" Mac said with a long yawn. "And you're right, 
I'm 
 finally starting to warm up."
 
 "I've only got the one bedroom so you two will have to share the sofa" 
Earl 
 smiled. "It pulls out into a sleeper. I'll get some sheets if you pull 
it 
 out. Looks like Mac's ready for bed."
 
 "Up you go Marine" Harm said as he gently lifted her to her feet. He 
moved 
 the coffee table away and moments later had the sleeper opened up. 
Earl 
 returned with the sheets and blankets and moments later Mac was tucked 
under 
 the covers, her head resting comfortably on Harm's chest.
 
 "The wood's out back" Earl said as he sat back down in the chair. "If 
you 
 get cold during the night, feel free to put some more logs on the 
fire."
 
 "Thank you again for everything" Harm sighed as he wrapped his arm 
around 
 Mac, drawing her closer to him as she dropped off to sleep. "We really 
 didn't mean to drop in on you like this."
 
 "Like I said before, it's totally okay" Earl assured him. "So tell me, 
how 
 long have you and that young lady been together."
 
 "Partners at work for six and still working on the rest" Harm said 
with a 
 small smile. "It's complicated."
 
 "Love is sometimes. You two seem rather devoted to each other. Those 
feeling 
 must have been there for a while."
 
 "We've been through a lot together through the years. Professionally 
and 
 personally. And she's very devoted. She's followed me to Russia three 
times 
 and Vietnam once."
 
 "Russia and Vietnam. Sounds like you're looking for someone son."
 
 "I am" Harm said quietly. "My father."
 
 "I thought that might be the case" Earl nodded. "You're probably just 
a few 
 years older than my Lucas. He was conceived the night I shipped out. 
Anna 
 was scared to death I wasn't going to come back and she was going to 
have to 
 raise that baby alone."
 
 "I was six when my father was shot down on Christmas Eve" Harm said 
softly. 
 "And I've spent the last 32 years trying to find him. I thought he'd 
been 
 taken to Russia as a prisoner. But that doesn't seem to be the case 
now."
 
 "You think he might still be alive in Vietnam?" Earl asked.
 
 "I don't know" Harm sighed. "It's been a rollercoaster of emotions 
since a 
 friend of ours told me he might still be alive over there. And at the 
same 
 time it's put Mac in danger and she's gotten hurt twice now because of 
it."
 
 "Danger? Why?'
 
 "Someone doesn't want me to find the truth about my father. And 
they've gone 
 to great lengths to make sure I don't. I was led to believe that he 
had been 
 taken to Russia and had eventually died there. But a few weeks ago we 
found 
 out that was just a story that I was too willing to believe at the 
time. 
 Course now I'm not sure he ever did leave Vietnam."

"A lot of guys didn't," Earl sighed.

"Yeah, fifty eight thousand," Harm murmured.

"No, I don't mean the ones who came home in body bags," Earl said.  "I 
mean the 
ones didn't come home period.  Some of them like McNamara that just got 
plain 
scared and ran.  And there's more to that with him by the way, but we 
can save that-
-you both should hear it."

Harm nodded.  "Obviously we've got nothing but time.  But you were 
saying about 
‘Nam?"  

"I just know that now and then we'd hear talk of Americans that were 
living in 
encampments in the hills, and that they were helping Charlie in 
exchange for being 
left alone."

"My father was not a traitor," Harm said quietly but firmly.  "He would 
have died 
before he'd betray his country."

"I know," Earl said soothingly, "I'm just saying it wasn't unheard of.  
You're 
determined to find out?"

"Yeah I really am, much as it pains me to admit," he sighed.  "Because 
Colonel 
Stubborn here won't let me go it alone, and I'm terrified that she's 
going to be really 
hurt in my cause.  She nearly died of infection in Vietnam, and in 
Russia she was 
dead.  God Earl I was cradling her dead body before our friend Clay 
made me hand 
her over to him."

"Sounds to me like God has given you a couple second chances there 
son," Earl 
smiled.

"Yes sir, more than I deserve."

"Listen to your heart Anna used to tell me.  And I'm going to bed.  You 
need 
anything?"  Before Harm could answer Earl shook his head.  "No I can 
see you 
don't.  You've got everything you need right in your arms."

"Yes sir," Harm nodded, pressing his lips to the forehead of the woman 
he loved.  
"Good night."

415AM

It began with soft whimpering.  At first Harm was not even sure if it 
was real or if he 
was dreaming.  Then he felt Mac stirring against him, making those same 
soft 
mewing noises.  "Hey you're OK," he whispered, trying to quiet her 
before she could 
awake Earl.  "Mac I'm here.  You're OK."

Her movements became more desperate and she struggled against his hold.  
In the 
dim light of the dying fire he could see her eyes were open but not 
seeing.  In one 
super human motion she pulled from his grasp and sat straight up and 
before he 
could grab onto her again a low noise came from her throat, increasing 
to a shriek 
within a second.

"Mac stop for Godsake," he shouted, trying to get through to her.  She 
rose to her 
knees on the bed and when he reached again for her, to his undying 
surprise, she 
swung out at him.  Her backhand, surprisingly strong, caught him across 
this cheek 
and he fell back in pain and surprise as the noise from her continued 
unabated.

"Harm you two OK?  What can I do?" Earl yelled.

"She's. . .I don't know," Harm called, his distress acute, seeing her 
now flailing her 
arms wildly as if she was crawling and then he realized.  She was 
recreating her 
near drowning of earlier, try to claw her way to the surface.  "Mac 
stop.  Mac it's OK.  
Stop now," he commanded and with a leap forward on the mattress he 
captured her 
in his long-armed embrace, pinning her arms to her side to prevent a 
repeat of the 
stinging slap she had administered before.

"Sarah calm down now," he whispered, trying to get through under her 
wailing, 
"you're OK.  I've got you and you're OK.  Sarah, please.  Sarah stop.  
For Godsake 
stop.  You're scaring me."

That finally got through to her and her movements stopped along with 
her noise.  
"Harm?" she whimpered.

"Yeah honey, I'm here," he whispered again and she fell weakly against 
him, 
collapsing them both back onto the mattress in a tangle of arms and 
legs.

"Harm you OK?  Can I do anything?" Earl called quietly.

"No thanks.  And I'm sorry about this," he called back.

"Don't worry about it."  Earl retreated to his bed, leaving Harm to 
deal with a panting 
and now softly crying Marine.

"Honey it's okay" he soothed as he stroked her hair. "I'm right here 
and 
  you're safe now."
  
  It was several minutes before her breathing finally calmed and the 
tears 
  subsided.
  
  "I'm sorry" she whispered as she raised her head and looked up at 
him.
  
  "Nothing to be sorry about" he said softly. "You were dreaming about 
what 
  happened earlier weren't you?"
  
  She nodded and clung tighter to him as the memories ran through her 
head 
  again. "I guess I remembered more if than I thought I had," she said 
  shakily. "And I was worried you would be the one having the 
nightmares."
  
  "Oh I'm sure I will" he sighed. "I close my eyes and I can still see 
your 
  limp body in my arms. And then it mixes with what happened in Russia 
and 
  it's like a horror movie that I can't turn off. And why am I telling 
you all 
  this when you have enough on your mind."
  
  "It's okay. I worry about you too you know. We've both been through a 
lot 
  the last month. Not just me. If anything, this whole thing has been 
harder 
  on you."
  
  "Yes it has. But right now my only concern is you. You think you can 
sleep 
  again."
  
  "Just don't let go" she sighed as she lowered her head to his chest 
again.
  
  "Never" he promised. "Get some rest. Everything will be better in the 
  morning."
  
  Morning for them came a few hours later as the smell of coffee pulled 
them 
  from their slumber.
  
  "Morning, how you doing?" Harm asked gently as Mac stirred beside 
him. She 
  opened her eyes as she raised her head and they widened at once when 
they 
  look at him.
  
  "Harm, my god what happened to you?" she demanded as she saw the mark 
on 
his 
  face. "You look like someone back handed you--oh god I did that 
didn't I?"
  
  "It's okay" he assured her. "It doesn't even hurt much."
  
  "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I hurt you like that. And why didn't 
you say 
  something last night? That had to have hurt."
  
  "A little. Nothing I couldn't live with. And you were upset enough. 
There 
  was no reason to upset you more."
  
  "What's all the fuss about?" Earl asked as he walked in. "Everything 
okay?"
  
  "Everything except the fact that I backhanded my partner last night" 
Mac 
  sighed.
  
  "It's nothing," Harm said quickly as Earl peered over at him. "Is 
that 
  coffee I smell?"
  
  "Yes. You two want some breakfast as well."
  
  "I'll just have coffee," Mac said as she pushed herself up.
  
  "You should eat something" Harm fretted as he helped her from the 
sleeper. 
  "You're looking a little pale Marine. You feeling okay?"
  
  "Just tired and achy. I don't feel like I slept much last night."
  
  "I've got some tea if you'd like instead," Earl said as they wandered 
into 
  the kitchen. "Might make you feel a little better. It's the green tea 
Anna 
  always took when she wasn't feeling good. Swore by it in fact."
  
  "Thanks I'd love a cup," Mac said as she sat down, Harm taking a 
chair 
  beside her.
  
  "Harm, how about you?" Earl asked. "I've got some eggs and toast if 
you'd 
  like."
  
  "Sounds good. Maybe I can get someone to take a few bites of mine," 
he said 
  as he looked over at Mac.
  
  "All right, I'll have a piece of toast. But that's it. Honest, I'm 
not 
  hungry."
  
  "So how's the weather looking out there?" Harm asked as he peered out 
the 
  small kitchen window. "Still raining?"
  
  "Yep. The weather service said some system is stalled over the area 
and it's 
  expected to continue for the next 24 to 48 hours. So I guess you two 
are 
  stuck here for while."
  
  "Well we could be stuck worse places," Mac said with a small smile. 
"You've 
  been very kind Mr. Hardley."
  
  "Earl please. And it's my pleasure. I really feel responsible for you 
being 
  up here anyway. I should have offered to come down to DC to talk to 
you 
  instead of having you two come up here. It's always treacherous up 
here at 
  this time of year."
  
  "Speaking of talking, now might be a good time to get your statements 
about 
  General McNamara" Harm spoke up.
  
  "I suppose now is a good time" Earl said as he handed Harm the plate. 
"Might 
  spoil your appetite hearing about him though."
  
  "I think we'll manage" Mac smiled. "You obviously have some strong 
feelings 
  about him."
  
  "With all due respect ma'am, he's nothing but a coward. Men like the 
  Commander's father risked their lives every day going up in the air 
without 
  a second thought about it. General McNamara ran the first time things 
got 
  too hot for him."
 
 "Well he was a private back then," Harm pointed out.  "A scared 
eighteen year old 
like a lot of you guys.  And he maintains he simply got separated from 
his outfit, like 
happens in the confusion of battle, and because of his head injury he 
wandered in 
the hills until a patrol from the First Cav picked him up and sent him 
heading toward 
home home."
 
 Earl gave a short laugh.  "He had a head injury all right, after Mark 
Henderson got 
hold of him and rammed his head into a tree.  And I'm only telling you 
that because 
the man is dead now.  Anyway, Private McNamara cut and ran when we were 
under 
fire.  Henderson, me, Edelman, and Flowers--the four of us got 
separated and cut 
off. Like you said Commander, it happens.  We had all seen McNamara 
take off like 
the yellow belly he was.  OK, I could excuse that maybe.  He was a 
timid kid, 
mama's boy, and didn't belong there."
 
 "Not very many of you foot solders were professionals," Mac reminded 
him.  
 
 "But we were there to do a job ma'am," Earl sighed.  "What I didn't 
put in my letter--
because I was afraid it would fall into the wrong hands and be 
squelched is what 
happened later."
 
 "Go on," Harm nodded through a mouthful of egg, with a side long 
glance to Mac.  
To him she looked pale and drawn and he was concerned.
 
 "A Charlie patrol picked the four of us up, and we were taken to this 
village they had 
taken over.  Not just Charlie now, but North Vietnamese regulars.  I 
see McNamara, 
and figure he was a POW too.  Which that's how it started.  Except 
POW's don't sit 
with the officers and pinpoint troop locations and movements on maps."
 
 Harm's fork dropped to his plate with a loud clatter.  "My god Earl 
you're charging 
the man with treason."
 
 "I know," the older man nodded quietly. 
 
 "But Earl this was over thirty years ago.  You're just now coming 
forth with it?" Mac 
frowned.
 
 "I know it looks strange, like some kind of personal vendetta, but I 
swear to god it's 
not."  
 
 "You'll be swearing all right, and that's to whom," Harm told him.  
"So what 
happened next?"
 
 "It's real simple," he sighed.  "Three days later our boys hit the 
village.  It was a 
blood bath on both sides.  Last thing I remember is Flowers pushing me 
out of the 
way of a grenade.  He took the brunt of it full in the chest and I 
don't remember 
another thing until I woke up eight days later on a hospital ship with 
a chunk of my 
scalp gone and then I was sent home.  For a long time I blocked that 
whole part of 
my life out.  Came home to Anna, Lucas was born, then the twins two 
years later 
and I made myself forget there ever was such a place as Vietnam."
 
 Harm swallowed hard, trying to imagine that if his father had survived 
there any 
length of time what he had gone through, or if he could even be there 
alive now, 
unable or unwilling to come home.
 
 "You know for a fact McNamara was showing these guys locations on the 
map?" 
Mac asked him gently.  "Like you'd testify at his hearing, under oath 
we're talking 
here."
 
 "And why after all this time?" Harm questioned.
 
 Earl gave them a sad smile and gestured to Lucas's picture.  "Force 
recon 
remember, and though I don't let myself think about it, I know where he 
is, and what 
he's doing.  And I pray to God there's no McNamara in his unit."
 
 "Yeah," Harm nodded, feeling Mac's hand close around his.
 
 Earl cleared his throat.  "You name time and place and I'll be there.  
In a necktie 
even."
 
 Both officers laughed at that.  "You really should eat a little," Harm 
told her a 
moment later.
 
 "Can't.  My stomach is. . ."
 
 "You're hurting?" he demanded anxiously.
 
 "Yeah kind of, but it's like from being thrown around in the water," 
she sighed.  "But 
that's not why I can't eat.  It just feels strange, and it feels like 
if I eat it won't stay 
down.  You guys talk.  I'm going to go lie down again I think if that's 
OK."

"Of course it's okay" Earl smiled. "Harm, why don't you see your 
partner 
 back to the sofa and then you and I can talk some more outside. I need 
to 
 chop some more wood. This rain chills the place so that the only way 
to keep 
 warm is to keep that fire going."
 
 "Sure" Harm said as he helped Mac from her chair and gently led her 
back to 
 the sofa bed. He brought the blankets up over her to keep her warm and 
she 
 gave him a small smile.
 
 "Thanks" she sighed. "I'm sure with a little sleep I'll be fine. It's 
just 
 everything catching up with me."
 
 "You rest," he said softly, his hand gently pushing back some hair 
from her 
 forehead. "A little warm Marine. I hope you're not getting sick from 
that 
 dunking. You're not recovered from Russia yet."
 
 "I'll be okay" she assured him. "I'm just tired and achy is all."
 
 "You let me know if it's otherwise. I'm worried about you you know."
 
 "I know" she smiled softly. "And you've always taken good care of me."
 
 "When I'm not getting you mixed up in the middle of my messes" he 
sighed. 
 "You'd be a lot better off without me around I think."
 
 "Hey none of that. I would not be. And as for you getting mixed up, 
you're 
 wrong. I didn't give you any choice but to let me be mixed up in it. 
So stop 
 blaming yourself for what happened. You go out with Earl and chop some 
wood 
 while I sleep."
 
 "You sure you're going to be okay?" Harm asked. "I hate leaving you 
when 
 you're not feeling good."
 
 "I'll be fine. Now go help. It's the least you can do after all he's 
done 
 for us."
 
 "True" Harm said as he stood up. "I'll see you later. You rest and get 
 better. That's an order."
 
 "Yes sir" she smiled.
 
 Earl had managed find Harm another pair of sweats and an old flannel 
shirt 
 to wear outdoors and a short time later Harm was helping him chop wood 
 behind the cabin.
 
 "You get Mac all settled" Earl smiled.
 
 "Yeah, I hope she's not coming down with something" Harm sighed. 
"She's 
 really not recovered from what happened in Russia and this is the last 
thing 
 she needed."
 
 "Some rest will do her good" Earl assured him. "So tell me how you two 
have 
 managed to be partners for six years but still aren't together?"
 
 "I have no idea," Harm said with a small smile. "I guess we're both 
stubborn 
 and didn't what was there in front of us. Or we did and we were too 
afraid 
 to do face it. We've come to an understanding of how we feel about 
each 
 other."
 
 "It's pretty obvious" Earl smiled. "You love that woman with all your 
heart. 
 And she feels the same about you."
 
 "Yes I do. And she knows it. Even though I've never said the words to 
her."
 
 "You should one day" Earl said quietly. "You know God only gives us so 
many 
 chances in this world. And you two seem to have gotten more than your 
share 
 of them. And in this crazy mixed up world we live in, you never know 
what 
 can happen."
 
 "I know" Harm sighed. "I think about it every day. I don't know what 
I'd do 
 if I ever lost her."
 
 "That's what I said when I lost my Anna. We'd had thirty some good 
years 
 together. I'd always prayed that I'd go before her. Couldn't imagine 
how I'd 
 live without her. But I guess somehow you go on. For a long time I 
didn't 
 want to. Wanted to join her up there with Jason and the others. But 
God 
 doesn't always give you what you want I guess. And I'm rambling on 
like a 
 crazy old man over here. Just tell me when to stop."
 
 "No that's okay" Harm smiled. "Sometimes it helps to talk."
 
 "Yeah it does" Earl agreed. "And the kids don't make it up as often as 
I'd 
 like so I tend to babble whenever I've got guests. The girls keep 
begging me 
 to come down to Charlottesville with them but I'm happy up here."
 
 "I can see why" Harm said as he looked around. "This place is great."
 
 "You didn't strike me as the outdoors type" Earl laughed. "Now that 
Marine 
 of yours in there is a different story."
 
 "Well I spent many years on my Grandmothers farm in Pennsylvania" Harm 
 smiled. "Nice place tucked between the mountains. Always loved it 
there. 
 Especially after Dad was gone."
 
 "Must have been hard for you" Earl said quietly. "You've never stopped 
 thinking he might be alive have you?"
 
 "Only for those few years after I'd been led to believe he was dead" 
Harm 
 sighed. "But even then I had a hard time letting it go. And now I'm 
not sure 
 I can until I do find the truth."
 
 "You sure you want the truth?" Earl asked.  "You know it may taint the 
 memories you have."
 
 "Even if it does, I want to know. But I know my father. And I know he 
would 
 never have done anything like you're alleging McNamara did. No way."
 
 "You seem pretty sure."
 
 "Everything I am today is because of him," Harm said quietly. "That 
didn't 
 come from someone who would trade his country for his life."
 
 "No I'm sure it didn't" Earl said softly. "You're a fine man 
Commander. I'm 
 sure wherever your father is he'd be damn proud of you."
 
 They spent the next few hours chopping wood and carrying it up to the 
back 
 of the cabin, the rain continuing around them.
 
 "This doesn't stop you two are going to be stuck with me for a while" 
Earl 
 said as he looked up at the gray sky. "Good thing I keep a lot of 
supplied 
 on hand for emergencies like this."
 
 "I take it this has happened before?" Harm smiled as they finished 
stacking 
 the wood.
 
 "Couple years back I couldn't get out for a week" Earl nodded. 
"Thought I 
 was going to go stir crazy. Least this time I've got you two for 
company."
 
 They headed inside and at once Harm made his way over to the sofa.
 
 "Hey" Mac murmured as she looked up at him, sensing his presence 
beside her.
 
 "How you feeling?" Harm asked, his hand going at once to her forehead. 
He 
 frowned at how warm she was and he looked over at Earl. "You got some 
 aspirin. She's running a fever."
 
 "Of course" Earl said as he hurried to the kitchen.
 
Earl returned with a tall glass of juice and two pills, along with a 
thermometer.  
"Anna was a nurse," he smiled with the memory.  "In between having 
babies she 
went to nursing school and worked in the clinic part time in town."

"Thanks," Harm nodded gratefully and gave Mac a light shake.  "OK 
honey, time for 
pills and let's take your temperature."

"Not while I'm conscious," she moaned, falling back onto the pillow.

"You know there's another way we can do this," Harm warned, succeeding 
in getting 
her to open one eye.

"Do not torment the sick."

His eyebrows shot up at that.  "You really are not feeling well are 
you?"  At the same 
time he looked pleading at Earl.

"Harm let's take her temp and get the pills and juice in her," he said 
calmly.  "And try 
not to panic here.  Likely she's got a bug she's going to need to ride 
out."

"And what if it's more than that," he whispered, trying to keep the 
fear from his voice.

"Harm I'm OK," she protested, grabbing onto his arm to use as a lever 
to pull herself 
up.  "I'm just achy and. . ."  Anything further was cut off by his 
popping of the 
thermometer in her mouth.  She crossed her eyes in a long glare at him, 
yielding to 
the inevitable.

"102," he gasped when he removed it.  "It's 102."

"She has a mild fever," Earl counseled.  "Now let's get these pills 
into her, and a 
cold cloth for her forehead.  Later a tepid shower and I have a shelf 
full of herbal 
remedies that my mother and grandmother swore by, plus some more of 
that tea of 
Anna's.  She'll be OK Harm."

"She has to be," he breathed in reply, resting his hand on her cheek 
and letting his 
eyes convey a message of love to her.

For the remainder of the morning he sat with her as she dozed fitfully, 
tossing on the 
sofa bed, unable to get really comfortable enough to relax.  He tried 
to maintain an 
outward calm, telling himself it was a passing virus, listening to 
Earl's advice to stay 
calm.

Mid afternoon with her temperature having risen another half-degree, 
she was 
managing to sleep more soundly, thanks to some herbal tea from Earl, 
and he 
walked out onto the porch, watching the driving rain that had moved 
into the area 
once again.

"Harm she'll be OK," Earl called from the doorway.  "She's a tough 
Marine.  Just 
give her body a chance to fight this off.  Likely she's gotten sick 
from the dunking 
she took.  But my grandmother's family drank from that creek and they 
lived to their 
eighties."

"Thanks. I'm just over-reacting I'm sure, but she was so sick in 
Vietnam.  They 
couldn't even tell me she'd be OK when we got her to the medical 
facility at Diego 
Garcia, and then in Russia. . .well I told you about that.  I'll have 
nightmares of 
holding her dead body until we go to our grave."

"And your friend saved her."

"Yeah he did," Harm sighed, thinking fondly of Clay at that moment.  
"And I repaid 
him by blaming him for it all."  He slammed his fist into the porch 
rail.  "You know 
what, sometimes I don't like myself much."

Earl snorted loudly at that.  "Good god son, we all have times like 
that.  Fortunately 
you have her love to make up for it.  You've got a long future 
together."

"Not if I don't quit risking her life as we go along," he muttered.

"Harm remember what happened here had nothing to do with your dad," 
Earl 
reminded him softly.  "This was in the line of her assigned duties, and 
she'd be the 
first to stipulate she wants no special treatment."

"Well she's going to get as much as I can possibly give her from here 
on out."

"Not a good idea," Earl advised in that same quiet voice.  "You try 
that and she's 
going to resent and that's going you make things between you awkward at 
best."

"Yeah," Harm sighed.  "I just know I can't manage this.  I need her 
too. . ."

A soft moan from inside stopped him and he was by her side a moment 
later, 
stroking her forehead and face.  "Still bad?"

"Hurts," she whimpered, her hands pressing into her belly.

   He did his best to keep the look of panic from his face as he gently 
stroked 
 her forehead. "I know and I'm sorry" he said softly. "I'm going to see 
what 
 else Earl has that might make you feel better okay?"
 
 She nodded slightly and tore himself away from her long enough to take 
Earl 
 aside in the kitchen.
 
 "Is there anyway of getting to a doctor?" Harm demanded. "Normally I 
 wouldn't panic like this but I'm really worried about her."
 
 "Harm she probably picked up something and it's going to take her a 
day or 
 two to fight it off. I wouldn't be getting crazy yet."
 
 "I know. But you don't understand. In Russia she had internal 
injuries. And 
 now she's saying that's hurting again. She could have an infection of 
some 
 kind or done more damage to what had already been hurt."
 
 "Harm, I'm sorry, but there's no way you're going to get her to a 
doctor 
 around here" Earl said quietly. "That creek is going to be rushing 
like a 
 river with all this rain today.  And that's even if you could get that 
far. 
 With all this rain it's likely most the road is washed out. And 
there's 
 always the danger of mud slides up here."
 
 "I can't just leave her like this" Harm hissed, careful to keep his 
voice 
 low enough so Mac wouldn't hear him. "Her fever's not getting any 
better and 
 she's in pain."
 
 "Let me see what else I've got around here" Earl said gently. "Anna 
had 
 something to cure just about everything. Never went to the doctor for 
colds 
 or flu's. Swore by this stuff."
 
 "Earl, I'm serious, we'll have to find a way to get her to a doctor if 
she 
 gets any worse" Harm said as he followed the man to the cabinet full 
of 
 bottles of herbs and other medicines. "Even if we have to call for a 
 chopper."
 
 "Okay, take it easy" Earl said as he pulled a few bottles from the 
cupboard. 
 "I know you're worried but you getting all agitated is only going to 
upset 
 her as well. This is the stuff Anna gave me that winter when I came 
down 
 with that awful flu. Worked wonders for me. Twenty fours later I was 
back on 
 my feet."
 
 "You weren't recovering from internal injuries" Harm muttered as he 
took the 
 bottle along with a large glass of water out to the living room. "I'm 
back 
 honey," he said as he gently shook Mac awake. "We've got some more 
stuff for 
 you to take."
 
 He helped her up to a sitting position so she could down the pills and 
then 
 gently laid her back against the pillows, her eyes closing almost 
 immediately.
 
 For the rest of the evening he stayed at her side, gently wiping her 
 forehead with the cool wash cloth as her fever continued to rage. He 
ignored 
 the dinner Earl had prepared, not concerned with himself when she was 
so 
 sick.
 
 "Harm, why don't you eat just a little" Earl prodded. "I'll sit with 
her 
 while you grab a bite. Only take you a couple minutes."
 
 "No, I'm not hungry" Harm sighed as he rinsed out the washcloth again 
in the 
 cold water, pressing it again to her cheeks. Nothing he did seemed to 
help 
 and when he checked her temperature again later, he was alarmed to 
find it 
 had gone up another degree.
 
 "Harm is there anything I can do?" Earl asked gently.
 
 "Get me out of here so I can get her help" Harm murmured. "She's 
getting 
 worse Earl. The fever's going up and nothing is helping."
 
 "Takes time for the stuff to work" Earl reminded him.
 
 "Harm" she moaned and at once he turned his attention back to her. 
"Harm, 
 where are?"
 
 "Right here honey," he said softly as he reached for her hand.
 
 "Clay, how could you lose him" she cried, trying to pull her hand away 
from 
 Harm.
 
 "Mac, I'm right here. Remember you and Clay found me. I'm okay and I'm 
right 
 here with you." He reached for her hand again and this time she 
started to 
 sob.
 
 "How do you know Sergei didn't find him" she wailed. "He could be dead 
and I 
 won't even know it."
 
 "Sarah, I'm right here" Harm said gently as he gathered her against 
him. 
 "Sergei didn't hurt me and I'm here with you now."
 
 "How could you let him run away?" Mac sobbed and Harm held her closer.
 
 "No, it's okay Sarah" Harm whispered. "Please calm down. Everything is 
going 
 to be okay."
 
 "She's delirious," Earl said quietly and Harm nodded. When Mac had 
finally 
 calmed again he gently laid her back against the pillows.
 
 "I have to do something," he said as he looked around the cabin. "I 
can't 
 just let her stay like this."
 
 "Harm there's nothing you can do. I'm telling you there's no way 
you're 
 going to get back to town. I know this area."
 
 Harm nodded but said nothing. There was no way he was going to leave 
her 
 like this all night. He wasn't going to watch her die in front of him.
 
 Earl took his place on the chair and Harm waited until he heard him 
snoring 
 softly before reaching for his shoes and coat.
 
 "I'll be back with help honey" he whispered as he kissed Mac's parched 
lips. 
 "Just hang on for Sarah. I need you. Don't you dare leave me."
 
 He reached for the keys to Earl's truck on the key rack by the door 
and 
 after one last look at Mac headed out into the pouring rain. Once 
inside the 
 truck, he quickly started it up and pulled away so Earl wouldn't hear 
it.

He had not been gone but five minutes when he realized the wisdom in 
Earl's 
words.  The rain was blinding and the mud washing over the road made 
the traction 
all but impossible.  With a small prayer of thanks that he had more 
sense than to 
bring Mac, he leaned over the wheel, praying for her well-being, and 
his own safety 
at least for as long as it would take to bring help to her.

The road took him further away from the woman he loved, and he knew the 
truck 
was barely holding its own, feeling the wheels slide, feeling the back 
end fishtailing 
as he went.  "This is beyond insanity," he muttered, and then the pale 
face of his 
partner swam before him.  She was desperately ill, and he wanted to 
believe the 
simple mountain medications Earl had on hand would help her, he was way 
too 
afraid to trust her life to that.  If he stood by and watched her die, 
he would never 
forgive himself, and knew for a fact that he would soon follow her.  
With renewed 
commitment he pushed the accelerator to the floor.  The truck's 
powerful engine 
roared with little effect on his pace as the tires bogged down in the 
slop.

"God I don't ask for much, but I need You," he whispered, feeling his 
throat close 
over in emotion as he realized even that was a lie.  "God I've asked 
You for a whole 
lot lately," he amended.  "Please don't fail me now."

From somewhere behind him there came a low rumble which he was aware of  
over 
even the roar of the engine.  Looking into the rear view mirror he saw 
nothing but 
blackness.  The rumble grew louder and he risked a look backwards.

It was his last moment of consciousness.

THE END