TITLE:  "Past Present Future I-Unanswered Questions"
AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner's
SUMMARY:  The first chapter of the PPF series, in which the matters of 
Lt. 
Harmon Rabb Sr. and Sergei Zhukov are re-visited.  All will be Harm-Mac 
stories 
of course, with Clayton Webb; and rated PG for mild language and 
violence.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement 
is intended with this work of fiction.
FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you're moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] and it 
would 
be much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you 
are not liking our work, please don't spend the time.  While we realize 
our work 
does not please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.


"Past Present Future I-Unanswered Questions"

Harm's Apartment
 6:45 PM EST
 Wednesday, December 12, 2001
 
 Harm spread the case file out across the table, glancing at the clock 
again. 
 Mac would be arriving soon so they could spend the evening working on 
their 
 opening arguments for the Mallen court martial in the morning. It was 
the 
 first case they had worked together on in a long time and Mac had 
suggested 
 they spend the evening making sure they were on the same page.  Since 
her 
 return from the Quadacanal they'd avoided the subjects of "us", still 
trying 
 to get back the friendship that had vanished when he'd left to return 
to 
 flying. A shared Thanksgiving dinner and day after shopping had helped 
the 
 process along, both of them finding that the familiar banter between 
them 
 was slowing coming back.  The friendship that had meant so much to 
them was 
 finally being put back together again.

 
 He was studying the file when there was a knock at the door a few 
minutes 
 later.
 
 "Come in, it's open" he called without turning around to look, 
figuring it 
 would be Mac.
 
 "Rather trusting aren't you?" The voice of Clayton Webb made him whirl 
 around and he gave Clay a long look.
 
 "I was expecting Mac" Harm retorted. "She should be here any minute. 
What do 
 you want?"
 
 "I take it your still not to happy about what happened with Steckler" 
Clay 
 said as he walked over to the table. "I figured by now you'd have 
gotten 
 over it."

 "Let's not even get into it" Harm said irritably. "Is there a purpose 
to 
 your visit? Mac and I have a case to get ready for so whatever you 
want make 
 it quick."
 
 "Harm, I'm sorry if you didn't understand the way things had to go 
with 
 that" Clay said quietly. "But you've been in this business long enough 
to 
 know that sometimes the bad guy gets away."
 
 "Whatever. What did you want?"
 
 "It's about your Dad."
 
 For a moment Harm just stood there stunned before he finally was able 
to 
 speak. "I spent 30 years wondering what happened to my father" he said 
 quietly. "And three years ago I finally got the closure I needed. Do 
not 
 come in here and tell me you have new information."
 
 "I might have new information. The question is do you want to know 
about 
 it."
 
 "Get out" Harm said suddenly.  "I'm not going down this road again 
with you 
 Clay. My father died in Russia and that's what I've told Mom and 
that's what 
 I've come to accept."
 
 "Harm, what if that wasn't the case?"
 
 "No" Harm said shaking his head. "No. Just go. I don't want to hear 
some 
 convoluted story about what might have happened. I know what 
happened."
 
 "Harm" Clay tried again.
 
 "NO" Harm shouted. "Drop it Clay."
 
 "Hi, am I interrupting something" Mac said as she walked in. "The door 
was 
 open and I heard shouting. Is everything okay?"
 
 "Clay was just on his way out" Harm said as he glared at him. "We're 
done 
 talking."
 
 "Harm, I'm not trying to dig up the past to hurt you" Clay said 
quietly. 
 "That's not why I came here."
 
 "Goodbye Clay" Harm said irritably. "Mac and I have work to do."
 
 "Call me" Clay mouthed to Mac as he headed out the door. She gave him 
a 
 curious glance but said nothing as he walked out.
 
 "You want to tell me what that was all about?" Mac asked once Clay was 
gone.
 
 "No"
 
 "Harm, whatever it was it upset you" Mac said gently. "What did Clay 
want to 
 talk to you about?"
 
 "Nothing" Harm sighed. "Look, we've got to get ready for the Mallen 
case 
 tomorrow. We don't have time for Clay's little games."
 
 "Harm, talk to me" Mac tried again.
 
 "Mac, I don't want to talk about it. Please, can we just forget about 
Clay 
 and concentrate on the case. Otherwise Turner is going to make us look 
like 
 first year law students."
 
 "He's not that good" Mac said as she sat down at the table, deciding 
it 
 wasn't worth haggling Harm about what Clay wanted. She'd call Clay 
later and 
 find out what was going on.
 
 "You've haven't been up against like I have" Harm countered. "Trust 
me, he 
 doesn't like to lose."
 
 "Neither do I" Mac reminded him. "Okay, sailor, what have we got 
here?"

"We've got a man set up by an E9 who's had it in for him since the 
first day he 
laid eyes on him," Harm growled, forcing his mind off his father and 
onto the 
case.  He brought up several points and when she refuted the last one 
he 
banged his fist on the table.  "Dammit Mac are you on my side or 
Turner's.  You 
can't have it both ways."

She stared at him before answering, shocked by his outburst.  "Harm 
we've 
always worked this way," she reminded him quietly.  "Always looked for 
holes in 
the other's logic, just like the opposition, and the members, are going 
to do.  You 
want to share what's really bothering you?  It's got to do with Clay, 
that much I 
know."

"It's not worth mentioning," he insisted, still scowling.  "Clay has 
dredged up 
something from the past that deserves to stay buried.  I don't want to 
go there 
again.  I can't.  I won't."

"Hey OK," she soothed, putting her hand on his.  "You sound like a 
little boy who 
doesn't want to go back to his Aunt Sally's.  Relax.  I'm on your side 
here.  I 
always have been."

His gaze fixed upon her and his mind harkened back to Russia.  "Yes you 
have 
been, and I'm sorry.  Look, I'm no good here.  Can we call it a night 
and start 
fresh in the morning?  Meet me for breakfast at the diner and we'll 
figure out our 
opening remarks?"

"I can do that," she nodded, pressing her hand down on his.  "But Harm, 
please.  
Let me help if I can."

"If you could, I would, and there's nothing to help with anyway," he 
groused.  
"You know I swear Clayton Webb is the only person on this planet--well 
maybe 
Renee--who can frustrate me this much.  I'll see you in the morning.  
0730 at the 
diner."

"I'll be there," she smiled and with another press to his hand gathered 
her things.  

He walked her to the door, stopping before he opened it as if something 
was on 
his mind.

"Harm?"

"No nothing.  Just be safe driving home.  In fact call me when you get 
in."

"Sure if you want," she smiled and slipped through the door as he 
opened it.
====================
Georgetown
Washington DC
Mac's apartment building
40 Mins. later

She pulled into a space at the rear of her building and when she 
started to get 
out, felt the door open for her.  Startled, she immediately assumed a 
defensive 
posture only to have the man chuckle lightly.

"Don't kill me please."  

"Clayton Webb you scared the bejesus out of me, and almost landed flat 
on your 
back for your trouble," she yelped.  "What the hell are you doing here.  
I was 
going to call you.  Not that I'm not glad to see you because I'm 
worried about 
Harm and obviously you've got something to do with that."

He nodded somberly.  "For some coffee, I'll spill what I know."

Shortly they were seated at her dining table and she set a steaming cup 
in front 
of Clay.  "Well?"

"OK.  Well you know I won't go into a lot of detail as to how I might 
know this, but 
here goes.  It's long been rumored that there have been enclaves of 
Americans 
left in Vietnam.  Tribes of deserters, men who faked their deaths and 
so on."

"OK," she nodded impassively and then gasped loudly.  "My God Clay this 
is 
about Harm's father isn't it?"

His turn to nod.  "When you two went to Russia, you bought the story of 
his death 
without much question, am I right?"

"Well yeah," she said softly.  "I mean the old woman was sincere 
sounding 
enough and it seemed logical and. . .hell I don't know.  We were both 
tired and 
maybe we did buy into it pretty quickly; but I was I taking my cue from 
Harm.  He 
seemed very ready to accept and let go."

"And a year ago you were in Chechnya and met Sergei Zhukov."

"Whoa you hold up right there," she objected.  "You're not going to 
tell me that 
could possibly be a lie?"

Clay shook his head.  "I just don't know.  I can tell you that all 
attempts to verify 
the story of his birth, and his parentage, have failed.  But that 
doesn't mean it is.  
It just means it's not a matter of record."

"And Harm's dad?"  

When Clay didn't answer, her eyes grew even bigger. "You think he could 
be 
buried in Viet Nam?"

"Or not."

"Clay make sense will you," she growled and then realized what he was 
saying.  
"Alive?  You think he could be alive?"

"I'm saying I've got more questions than answers," Clay nodded.  "And 
that I 
wasn't prepared for Harm's reaction."

 "In his defense, Harm has had a lot happen recently" Mac said quietly. 
"And 
 you know how hard this was on him the first time. "
 
 "I know, but I would have thought he would have wanted to know the 
truth" 
 Clay sighed. "I'm really not trying to dredge up the past. But when I 
 started looking into Sergei and didn't find anything, the warning 
bells went 
 off."
 
 "Clay, you're going to need more than just that to convince Harm. The 
fact 
 that you can't verify his birth isn't going to be enough for Harm to 
believe 
 you."
 
 "I know. But at the same time, I don't feel right digging into this if 
he 
 doesn't want me to."
 
 "What's your gut feeling?" Mac asked.
 
 "My gut says something isn't right" Clay admitted. "Things aren't 
adding up 
 on this."
 
 "Don't stop then" Mac said quietly. "Keep digging."
 
 "You sure?"
 
 "You don't have to tell Harm about it until you get more facts. And if 
you 
 do, well then we'll both sit down and talk to him. But in the 
meantime, you 
 can keep me up to date on what you find out."
 
 "You know Harm is going to be furious with both of us if he finds out 
we're 
 doing this."
 
 "I'm willing to take that risk" Mac said quietly. "You really think 
 everything he was told in Russia could be a lie."
 
 "It's very possible."
 
 "Then do it. Harm deserves to find out the real truth. And if you 
don't find 
 anything else we don't ever have to tell him about any of this."
 
 "All right. I'll keep digging. And I'll keep you posted."
 
 Mac was about to reply when the phone rang and at once she knew who it 
was.
 
 "Hello"
 
 "Mac, where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you. 
"
 
 "I'm sorry I got sidetracked" she said as she turned away from Clay. 
At the 
 same time Clay's cell phone rang and seconds later Harm heard him say 
"Webb" 
 in the background.
 
 "Clay's there?" Harm demanded.
 
 "Uh, yeah, he just stopped by for a little bit" Mac stammered, turning 
 around and shooting Clay a long glare. He mouthed a "sorry" and she 
shook 
 her head.
 
 "To tell you his convoluted story about my dad" Harm said irritably. 
"He 
 couldn't get me to bite so he decided to go through you. Well I'll 
tell you 
 the same thing I told him. My father died in Russia and I'm not going 
to go 
 down that road again with Clay."
 
 "Harm, what if he didn't'?" Mac whispered.
 
 "NO" Harm shouted. "Not you too. Of all people I would have thought 
you 
 would have understood why I can't go through that again."
 
 He slammed the phone down before she could reply and with a sigh she 
hung 
up 
 the phone.
 
 "I'm sorry, I didn't know Harm was going to call" Clay said quietly. 
"I take 
 it he wasn't happy about me being here.'"
 
 "No he thinks you were trying to use me to get to him."
 
 "Mac, I'm only here because I know that if anyone can talk to him 
about 
 this, you're the one. You were with him every step of the way on his 
 search."
 
 "Yes and it wasn't easy on him" Mac sighed. "Which is why for now you 
and I 
 are going to handle this without telling him about it."
 
 "Agreed. I've got to run. I'm really sorry about upsetting Harm."
 
 "I'm going to call him back" Mac said as she led Clay to the door. 
"Thanks 
 for letting me know about this though."
 
 "Sure. Mac, you know I'm not doing this to hurt Harm. I just thing he 
 deserves to know the truth about his Dad."
 
 "I know Clay. And part of me hopes you don't find anything so he 
doesn't 
 have to go through all that again. But if his dad is possibly still 
alive..."
 
 "Mac, I'm not saying that" Clay interrupted. "I'm just saying that 
what you 
 were told in Russia isn't adding up."
 
 "I know" Mac sighed.
 
 "I'll keep you posted" Clay said quietly. "Call Harm and make sure 
he's 
 okay."
 
 "I will. Thanks Clay."
 
 She closed the door behind him and hurried to the phone, dialing 
Harm's 
 number. She wasn't surprised when she got his answer machine, figuring 
he 
 wouldn't answer.
 
 "Harm, it's Mac.... I know you're there. Please pick up......... I 
want to talk to 
 you. Harm come on."
 
 The machine cut her off and she dialed the number again, waiting 
impatiently 
 while it rang for the message to finish.
 
 "Harm, pick up. I want to talk to you about this. Please don't shut me 
out." 
 She waited but again the machine beeped without him picking up.
 
 "One more time and then I'm coming over" Mac said as she dialed the 
phone 
 again. "Harm, please pick up. I want to talk to you. Pick up or I'm 
coming 
 over there..."
 
 "NO" He shouted as he picked up the phone. "First of all, its late and 
you 
 have no business making the trip across town. Secondly, I don't want 
to 
 talk."
 
 "Harm, please don't hang up" Mac called. "Please give me a chance to 
talk."

"Not tonight," he returned stubbornly.  "Mac it's late and I'm tired 
and this talk of 
my dad is not setting well and if I'm made to talk about it I'm just 
going to say 
something I may not be able to take back.  And you and Clay can do. . 
."

"Just hold it right there with that mister," she interrupted sternly.  
"This is 
business.  Clay and I are concerned about a friend."

"Then if you're that concerned you'll leave it alone," he said in short 
clipped 
tones.  "Listen I don't want you doing anything but going to bed.  It's 
late and 
we're going to meet about the case in the morning.  Please."

"Harm what if. . ."

"What if my ass."  His turn to interrupt.  "Leave it be Mac.  I I told 
you already--I 
will not go down that road again.  It tore me up inside the first time.  
He died a 
hero, he's buried in the Tiaga and it's done.  Now are we going to meet 
so we 
can not look like total fools in court or what?"

There was silence on the other end.  "Mac talk to me."

"Yeah we are.  Good night Harm."  She hung up the phone before he could 
respond, not sure what to make of him.  On one hand she could 
understand that 
he did not want to open old wounds, and yet she could not equate that 
with the 
normal insatiable Rabb desire to get at the truth.

Quickly she dialed Clay's number, knowing she would catch him still in 
his car.

"Clay hi, Mac.  Listen, quick question about all this.  Before we maybe 
cause a lot 
of needless heartache, let me ask you something.  What are the odds 
that 
Harmon Rabb Senior might actually still be alive?  Because if all this 
is just going 
to lead to another tale of his death, then I'm not sure it's worth 
putting Harm 
through it.  So could Lieutenant Rabb be alive?"

"Right now I wouldn't rule it out," Clay replied, "and that's my honest 
assessment.  
I live and die by my instincts, and right now they're saying that whole 
thing in 
Russia smells like last week's mackerel.  I can't verify anything on 
Sergei, and 
that makes me suspect anything that relates to Russia and Rabb Senior.   
Right 
now I'd hate to have to swear that man ever left Vietnam."

"OK Clay, thanks."

There was a moment of silence and he asked gently, "You still want me 
to keep 
checking right?"

"Yeah I do, please," she answered after another moment.  "And then 
we'll give 
Harm the facts and let him decide."

"Good enough."  Clay clicked off his phone and Mac gave a long sigh of 
frustration at the same time.

"Harm I know you're not wanting to just have to deal with his death 
again but if 
there's a chance he's alive I want you to have it," she murmured 
softly.  "I owe 
that to you--and to him."
=================
Route 50 Diner
Arlington VA
745PM

"Hey I was starting to think I'd been stood up," Mac smiled, knowing 
her relief 
was showing and not caring.  "And you look like hell.  Have some 
coffee.  I think 
you need it.  Bad night?"

"One dream after another," he sighed morosely as she filled his coffee 
cup.  
"You, my dad, you and my dad."

"I never had the pleasure remember," she smiled and then sobered.  "I'm 
sorry.  
Anything you want to talk about."

His glare was all the answer she needed and she quickly produced a 
legal tablet.  
"OK counselor, you want to tell me what wonderful words you've got that 
are 
going to wow the members."

"Shit."

"Yeah that's going to make a good impression," she teased.  "Again, you 
want to 
talk?"

"No I dripped coffee on my shirt," he sighed.  "Already this day 
bites."
 
 His day only got worse as Turner's presented his case against Lt. 
Mallen, 
 bringing in witness after witness to testify against their client. 
Harm was 
 glad when Admiral Morris called for a recess until the next day. He'd 
 skipped lunched and now had the headache that wouldn't quit.
 
 "Uh, you want to try that getting together thing again tonight," Mac 
asked 
 as she and Harm walked out of the court room.
 
 "Yeah sure" Harm sighed.
 
 "You okay?" Mac asked gently.
 
 "No but I'll survive" he said quietly. "Why don't I come by your place 
this 
 time? That way if it ends up taking longer than we think to come up 
with 
 some kind of defense for Lt. Mallen you don't have to drive across 
town at 
 night."
 
 "You want me to get us a pizza?" Mac asked.
 
 "That's fine" Harm said absently as he walked into his office.
 
 "Harm, talk to me" Mac said as she followed him into his office, 
closing the 
 door behind her.  "Are you okay?"
 
 "What's going on is we have no defense for our client, I have a 
monster 
 headache and I'm getting tired of you asking if I'm okay" he snapped.
 
 "I'm sorry" she snapped back. "I'll make a mental note to stop caring 
about 
 you."  She started towards the door and he hurried around from his 
desk to 
 stop her.
 
 "Mac, I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Please forgive me. That was lack 
of 
 sleep and the headache talking. I appreciate your concern but to be 
honest 
 it's all just so discombobulated right now I can't even think 
straight. 
 Please, don't ever stop caring. God knows you're probably the only 
person 
 left that still does."
 
 "You're probably right on that one," she said with a small smile. "And 
you 
 don't have to worry, I'll never stop caring about you."
 
 "Thanks. I needed to hear that right now. I guess with everything that 
 happened this summer the last thing I needed was Webb to wander in and 
want 
 to talk to me about my dad."
 
 "I know sailor," she said softly, her hand going to his arm. "But 
you're not 
 alone. You still got your trusty partner by your side."
 
 "Why don't you let me pick up the pizza" Harm offered. "My way of 
 apologizing for being such a jerk just now."
 
 "Deal. As long as it's something edible, Mr. Vegetarian" Mac smiled. 
"None 
 of those vegetable things you call a pizza."
 
 "Doable. I'll see you around 6:00 then."
 
 ************************
 Mac's Apartment
 8:00 PM EST
 
 "Okay sailor we have got to come up with something here" Mac sighed.
 
 "It's hopeless," Harm said as he threw the file on the table before 
rubbing 
 his forehead.
 
 "Still got that headache?" Mac asked.
 
 "Yeah. Staring at this file all night isn't helping either" Harm 
sighed.
 
 "No it probably isn't" Mac agreed as she stood up. "Why don't I get 
you some 
 aspirin and then you can lay down for a bit?"
 
 "Laying down is not going to get our client off" Harm countered 
tiredly.
 
 "Harm you can't concentrate when you don't feel good. Just take some 
aspirin 
 and go lie down for a bit. I'll keep staring at the file and hope 
something 
 jumps out at me."  She headed to the cupboard and returned a minute 
later 
 with some aspirin and water.  He gratefully accepted them and with a 
little 
 resistance allowed her to lead him to the couch.
 
 "Just a few minutes" he said as he closed his eyes. "And then we're 
going to 
 find some defense for Lt. Mallen."
 
 "Of course" Mac said softly, resisting the urge to stroke his 
forehead. As 
 she suspected he was asleep almost immediately, and she reached for 
the 
 afghan on the back of the couch and gently placed it over him. She 
stood 
 there and watched him for a minute, the lines of worry and stress 
still 
 evident on his face as he slept.
 
 "Get some sleep sailor" she whispered before heading back to the 
kitchen.
 
 She went back to the case file, giving up an hour later when 
everything was 
 starting to run together again. If there was a viable defense for 
their 
 client, they weren't going to find it tonight. She got and peaked into 
the 
 living room, not surprised to find him still asleep. She doubted he'd 
slept 
 much the night before and after a long day in court he needed to 
sleep. She 
 turned and was going back into the kitchen when his screams sent her 
running 
 into the living room.
 
 "Harm wake up" she said as she gently shook him. "It's okay it's just 
a 
 nightmare."
 
 His screams stopped and he finally opened his eyes a few seconds 
later.
 
 "You okay?" she asked as she gently pushed the sweat drenched hair 
back from 
 his forehead.
 
 It took a minute before he nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said finally.  
"I'm 
 sorry. I didn't expect to fall asleep that easily."
 
 "Maybe that happened cause you didn't sleep last night?" Mac said 
softly. 
 "You want to tell me what the nightmare was about."
 
 "No" he said quietly. "I'd rather not think about it again."
 
 "It's your Dad isn't it?" Mac said gently. "Harm, talk to me. This is 
going 
 to drive you crazy inside if you don't talk to someone. And this 
someone has 
 been through this with you."
 
 "Mac, I can't go there again" he whispered. "I just can't. You know 
how hard 
 it was."
 
 "Yes I do," she said as she felt tears brimming. Nothing had been 
harder 
 than watching him deal with the loss of his father. Watching the dream 
of 
 seeing his father alive snatched from his hands had been painful for 
her as 
 well. And she wasn't sure she could do it again.

For several minutes she sat on the edge of the couch, holding his two 
hands 
between hers while his breathing returned to normal as he fought with 
the 
memories of Russia.  He could not go there again he had said.  "You 
won't have 
to," she whispered before she realized she had spoken aloud.

"Won't have to what?" he murmured.

"Nothing, just thinking on the case."

"We need a continuance," he groaned and struggled to sit up.  She moved 
to 
help him, steadying him as he put his feet over the side of the sofa 
and almost at 
once put his head down in to his hands, pressing his fingers to his 
temples in 
obvious pain.

"Yes we do," she said firmly.  "So that you can get yourself over to 
Bethesda."

"No not for that," he scoffed.  "I'm fine.  I'm just letting this case 
get to me is all.  
No, so we can talk to a couple people and see what we can possibly come 
up 
with that makes any sense for what Mallen did."

"And the thing with your father isn't helping," she reminded him 
gently, slipping a 
comforting arm across his back.

"Oh that's a totally closed issue," he returned.  "I've told Webb and 
I've told you--
don't even.  No it's this case and what we're going to do about it 
that's got me 
baffled.  I'm thinking we need to talk to him about a plea bargain if 
we don't find 
anything concrete.  And right now I'm going to get out of your life so 
you can get 
some rest."

"I don't think so Sailor."

"Excuse me?  You don't think I'm staying here."

"That's exactly what I think. Consider it an order if you have to. 
You're going to 
take a hot shower, some more aspirin, and bunk your butt right here on 
this sofa.  
No way you're driving across the city tonight.  And then in the morning 
I'm either 
hauling you to Bethesda or allowing you to go home and dress for work."

"Mac I. . "

"Stow it Sailor.  Now I'm going to turn on that shower which is tricky 
to get warm 
and leave you some sweats to wear."

"Mic's," he muttered darkly.

"Who cares--they're clean," she groaned.  "Come on Flyboy get that six 
in gear."  
She took his hands and tugged him to his feet, propelling him toward 
the shower.  

"Just shoot me, please," he sighed.

"Hey it wouldn't be the first time I've been tempted," she teased.

When he came from the shower she had fixed the sofa with bed clothes 
and a 
pillow and smiled at the sight of him, wearing well-worn sweats, his 
hair damp 
and standing on end.

"This is kind of cool," she laughed.  "Like having a sleep over.  
Something best 
friends might do."

"I like the sound of that," he sighed.  "Best friends I mean."

"Me too Sailor.  Now get in there before we have a Hallmark moment.  I 
promise 
things will look better in the morning."

"My mother used to say that," he sighed, letting her guide him down 
under the 
blanket.  "But I do not think of you as my mother.  Any more than I 
thought of you 
as my sister at the Nato Ball that time."

"Sleep Flyboy, you're sounding delirious."  She shook her head and as 
she was 
leaving him could not resist trailing her fingers lightly in his damp 
hair.

"Thanks Mac," he called softly just as she closed the bedroom door.  
"Thanks for 
everything."

 
JAG HQ's
 Thursday,
 December 20, 2001
 
 "Morning Marine" Harm smiled as he stuck his head in Mac's office.
 
 "Morning sailor" Mac smiled back. In the week since Harm had spent the 
night 
 at her place they'd settled even further back into the familiar mold 
of 
 friends. They'd shared a few more dinners and done some more Christmas 
 shopping together, with tentative plans to spend the holidays 
together. Mac 
 had no plans and Harm had once again decided not to go to San Diego to 
spend 
 the holidays with Trish and Frank. There was no more talk of his 
father or 
 Clay, though Mac was still in contact with Clay about Harm's dad. "You 
got 
 time for lunch today? My treat."

 "I have to go to Quantico with Bud to interview a witness" Harm 
replied. 
 "I'm not sure how long that's going to take. Can I get a rain check 
until 
 tomorrow?"
 
 "I think we can do that" Mac smiled.
 
 "Good. I'll see you later then"
 
 It was just before lunch when Clay knocked on her door.
 
 "Clay, what are you doing here?" Mac hissed as she motioned him into 
her 
 office. "You're lucky Harm's down at Quantico. He'd freak if he saw 
you 
 here."
 
 "I was going to call but things have been crazy" Clay sighed. "And so 
I 
 figured I'd risk stopping."
 
 "You found something didn't you?" Mac said quietly. "About Harm's 
father."
 
 "Nothing concrete yet. But I'm beginning to think more and more that 
 everything Harm was told in Russia was a lie. I have reason to believe 
 Harm's father never left Vietnam."
 
 "You mean he could still be alive there?"
 
 "I'm saying that the trail taking him to Russia appears to be a total 
fake" 
 Clay replied. "From what I've been able to tell, Lt. Harmon Rabb Sr. 
was 
 never found following his crash."
 
 "Clay, if you're simply going to tell me Harm's father died that night 
then 
 don't do this to him" Mac said quietly. "Because if the outcome is the 
same, 
 it's just going to tear him up again for no reason."
 
 "I don't know what happened that night Mac. I wish I did. For Harm's 
sake. 
 What I'm telling you is there is a possibility that he was captured 
but was 
 never taken to Russia."
 
 "So he could still be alive there?"
 
 "Mac, I don't know. But I do have a contact in Vietnam who's willing 
to help 
 me out on this one. I'm making arrangements to go to Vietnam."
 
 "Clay, you're not serious?"
 
 "Very serious."
 
 "You're not going alone are you?" Mac demanded.
 
 "You offering to go with me?" Clay smiled. "I don't think Harm would 
like it 
 very much if you did though."
 
 "No, and I'm not sure I'd be able to do it without him finding out 
about it" 
 Mac sighed. "He'd have a fit if he knew you were here now and we were 
still 
 talking about this."
 
 "He really doesn't want to find out the truth?" Clay asked gently.
 
 "Clay you don't know how hard it was for him to go through this once" 
Mac 
 said quietly. "I was there. I saw how much it tore him it up. From the 
day 
 we found the book on the Hornet until the old woman told us what had 
 happened. Clay, he can't go through all that again."
 
 "I know" Clay sighed. "But I'm not going to rest on this one Mac. I'm 
going 
 to find out the truth."
 
 Mac was about to reply when the elevator doors opened and Harm and Bud 
 walked off. Harm's eyes immediately went to Mac's office and Mac 
didn't miss 
 the change of expression when he saw who was in her office.
 
 "Bad timing" Mac whispered and Clay turned around to see Harm glaring 
at 
 them.
 
 "Let me try" Clay offered when Harm continued to his office, slamming 
the 
 door behind him.

Mac grabbed his arm and shook her head.  "Clay he's not receptive to me 
on that 
subject.  You even less.  You might end up with another broken nose."

"You don't think I should try?"  

"No, but I promise I'll talk to him later and smooth over me being seen 
with you."

"OK that's part of the problem."  Sudden realization.  "He saw me here, 
and he 
thinks you and I--well not that it hasn't occurred to me but you're. . 
."

"Oh Clay stop," she moaned.  "You and I are friends.  Why would we want 
to 
spoil it by getting involved.  You see what's happened with us--with 
Harm and 
me."

"Yeah and you love the guy," Clay grinned, only to have Mac punch his 
upper 
arm, and none too gently.  "What?" he gasped,  "That's gonna leave a 
mark.  Did 
I say something wrong."

"Don't even," she told him quietly.  "Harm and I are both coming off 
relationships 
that ended badly, though thankfully they ended.  We're trying very hard 
to 
reestablish some kind of plane on which we can communicate.  And if 
that word 
enters into it, it's not going to happen."

"But you didn't deny it," he pointed out, ducking away from her.  "OK 
enough.  I 
just wanted you to know what was happening.  I'm supposed to talk to 
Nguyen 
again tonight.  And then I'll make travel arrangements for late in the 
week.  Don't 
let anyone but Harm onto this.  The travel plan I'm filing if I go says 
nothing about 
Southeast Asia."

"I understand," she nodded quietly, looking across the bullpen to 
Harm's office, 
seeing him staring out the window, his back to her and Clay.

Clay left and she allowed Harm a few minutes before she knocked softly 
on his 
door.

"You still here?" he demanded when she opened it in response to his 
'enter'.

"Uh yeah, I do work here," she replied.  "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's that man showing you interest thing obviously," he muttered, 
"even if it is just 
Webb.  I figured you'd be up and ready."

"Is that what you really think of me?" she asked quietly, unable to 
keep the hurt 
from her voice.

"No of course not," he replied after a minute of chastising himself.  
"I'm sorry.  
When I see Webb now all I can think of is my dad and I just want to 
lash out.  
You didn't deserve that."

"No I didn't," she replied.  "You want to know what he came for, and I 
can assure 
you it wasn't to ask me out."

"Would you have gone?"

"You know what, I just might have," she returned, her own anger rising.  
"Had he 
offered me an evening I might very well have taken him up on it, but 
that's not the 
case.  He just wanted to let me know the latest on. . ."

"On my dad and that ridiculous notion of his that he might not be 
buried in 
Russia," he interrupted bitterly.  "Well frankly I don't give a damn 
where he's 
buried.  He's dead Mac.  That's really the bottom line.  Harmon Rabb 
Senior is 
dead.  He went out of my life that Christmas Eve and he's not coming 
back.  All I 
have left of him is a box of his stuff and some letters on a marble 
wall.  I've been 
thirty years trying to cope with it.  I thought when we left the old 
lady I had pretty 
much the closure I wanted but now everyone is bringing it up again.  
Leave it be.  
I can't be any plainer than that.  Leave it be. And while you're at 
it--leave me be 
too."

The sharpness of his words stung, and Mac let him go until he was 
finished, 
stunned by his outburst.  "Leave you be?  Right now, gladly, more than 
gladly," 
she said softly, thankful that there was no trace of tearfulness in her 
voice. 
Without a word to anyone she picked up her briefcase and cover and 
walked out.  
Only when she got to her car did she call Tiner and ask him to sign her 
out for 
the afternoon, saying she had some things to check and then she was 
going 
home.

Harm watched her car pull away from JAG from his window, shaking his 
head.  
He knew he had hurt her, but at the same time somewhere in the back of 
his 
mind he felt justified.  It seemed so simple to him--he did not want it 
brought up 
again.  He wanted it left alone.

The shocked and hurt expression on her face stayed with him the 
remainder of 
the afternoon.  He went home and found the four walls of his apartment 
to be 
stifling, and when he tried to relax all he could see was her face in 
front of him.  
He was not sorry he had made his point, but he was for the way in which 
he had 
gone about it.

Finally unable to live with himself he drove to the Italian market in 
the next block, 
picking up a carryout order of bread and pasta, and as a last minute 
item, a small 
bouquet of mixed flowers.  "Lame but at least she'll know I'm serious," 
he told the 
old man who rang up his order.

"A man can never go wrong with flowers for a woman he loves," the owner 
told 
him in a thick Italian accent.

"Right now I'll settle for speaking to me," he muttered and made the 
drive across 
town.

"Mac it's me," he called as he knocked.  "You can tell me to go to hell 
and I'll 
leave."

"Harm?"  She was just coming out of the shower, her hair wet and 
slicked back, 
and she tightened the robe around her as she crossed to the door.

"Harm what are you doing here?" she frowned as she opened the door, 
only to 
have the flowers thrust at her.

"Truce," he explained sheepishly.
 
 She managed to hold back a smile at his obvious discomfort.
 
 "Truce accepted," she said as she took the flowers from him.
 
 "I brought dinner too," he said quietly. "Course if you'd rather I 
just left 
 the food and made myself scarce I'd understand."
 
 "Get in here flyboy" Mac said as she reached for his arm. "You know 
you'll 
 have to do worse than that for me to want you to disappear. I happen 
to like 
 having you around you know."
 
 "Even if I am a first class jerk most of the time."
 
 "Yep" Mac smiled. "Come on, this smells wonderful. How'd you know I 
was 
 starving?"
 
 "Lucky guess" Harm said with a small smile. "Plus you don't usually 
turn 
 away food."
 
 "You think the way to this Marine's heart is through her stomach?" Mac 
 questioned.
 
 "I was hoping."
 
 "Harm, I wasn't mad at you" Mac said as they dug into the pasta. "More 
like 
 hurt."
 
 "I know and I'm sorry" Harm said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt you 
like 
 that. And I really don't want you to leave me alone."
 
 "I didn't think you did. At least I was hoping that was the case. I 
thought 
 we'd come farther than that in our relationship."
 
 "We have" Harm sighed. "But since Clay walked into my place everything 
has 
 suddenly started spiraling out of control. And unfortunately you've 
been in 
 my path of destruction."
 
 "Harm, I hate seeing you like this" Mac said softly, her hand reaching 
for 
 his. "And I know this is driving you crazy. No matter how much you try 
and 
 put it out of your mind you can't."
 
 "No I can't," he admitted as he squeezed her hand.
 
 "Harm, I'm here for you" Mac whispered. "Just like I was the first 
time. I'm 
 not going to let you go through this alone."
 
 "A lot has happened since then," Harm said quietly. "We're not the 
same 
 people we were back then."
 
 "No we're not" Mac agreed. "But Harm, I still care about you just as 
much 
 now as I did then. Nothing ever changed that. And nothing ever will."
 
 "You really mean that don't you?"
 
 "Yes I do. Harm, I know the past two years haven't been some of our 
finer 
 moments. But that's behind us now."
 
 "You know I don't know how I ever got lucky enough to get you as a 
partner 
 and a friend" Harm sighed.
 
 "Thank Clay for the first one " Mac smiled. "And the second part just 
came 
 naturally."
 
 "Okay, he's good for something. But that's about it."
 
 "Harm, he's not trying to hurt you" Mac said gently. "He's just trying 
to 
 find the truth."
 
 "Mac" Harm started only to stop when her phone rang. "You want to get 
that?"
 
 She nodded and ran to grab the phone. "Mackenzie."
 
 "Mac, its Clay. Can you talk?"
 
 "Uh, not right now" Mac said quietly. "Can I call you back later?"
 
 "Mac, maybe I should leave" Harm said as he stood up. "Obviously you 
and 
 Clay have something else to talk about."
 
 "Clay hang on," Mac said before turning to Harm. "Harm, sit down. You 
are 
 not going anywhere."
 
 "Mac" he started.
 
 "Harm, sit" she ordered. To her amazement he did as she said, and she 
turned 
 her attention back to the phone.
 
 "Make it quick" she said quietly.
 
 "Mac, I talked to Nguyen. I need to book the flight if I'm going to go 
this 
 week. I need to know if you want to come with me."
 
 "Yes" Mac said after a moment's thought. "I'll be there."
 
 "You sure?" Clay asked. "I mean, I have no idea what I'm getting into 
over 
 there. And what about Harm?"
 
 "I'll handle that end," Mac said quietly. "And Clay, make that for 
three."
 
 She hung up and with a sigh turned back to Harm.
 
 "So where are you going with Clay?" Harm asked.  "I heard you tell him 
you'd 
 be there."
 
 "Harm, Clay is going to Vietnam" Mac said quietly. "And I'm going with 
him."

He could only stare for a moment.  "Why in God's name would you go. . 
.No Mac-
-this better not be about my dad."

"Clay has good reason to believe Lieutenant Rabb never left there," she 
said in 
that same quiet voice.  "He feels like he's on to something and I don't 
think he 
should have to check it out alone."

Harm continued to stare, speechless for a moment, then swallowed hard.  
"Let 
me get this straight here.  Clay is off to Vietnam because he's got 
some wild hair 
up his butt and you're going along.  Does that about cover it?"

"Yeah actually," she nodded.  "Kind of reminds you of three years ago 
when 
someone else went to Russia and I needed to be with him."

"It's not the same thing," he growled.  "You and I were. . .you know.  
Unless you 
and Clay are. . . "

"Clay and I are friends thank you, and I suggest you leave it there.  
You and I on 
the other hand were then, and are now, different.  You know there's a 
connection 
we have that. . .look if I have to explain this to you, we're worse off 
than I 
thought."

"You know that's a whole subject area that's so touchy we can't even 
begin to go 
there," he growled.  "We've tried more than once and it doesn't work."  
He 
reached out and put his hands on her shoulders, taking a deep 
shuddering 
breath.  "Don't go.  Please.  I'm afraid for you to go."

"Afraid for my safety or afraid for what you'll learn?" she asked 
gently, bringing 
her hands up to rest on his.

He could only shake his head.  "Both.  Very definitely both.  Look, I 
gotta get out 
of here.  I'll talk to you later."

"Harm where are you going?  I wish you'd stay and talk."

"No thanks."  He shook his head firmly.  "No thanks."  With that he 
released her 
and a second later he was out the door.

"Dammit," she moaned, sinking onto the sofa.  "What is wrong with him?  
Why 
doesn't he understand?"
===============
She repeated those same two questions to Clay two hours later when he 
came 
by.

"Mac I'm not going to pretend to understand what goes through that Rabb 
mind," 
he sighed.  "But being upset that you're going with me that I can 
understand.  I'm 
not at all sure it's a good idea for you to consider it.  Plus what has 
AJ said about 
this?"

"I haven't talked to the Admiral," she admitted, "but with the notion 
that there may 
be Americans there unaccounted for I don't think it will be a 
hard-sell.  It's 
something he's long been concerned about anyway.  And I'm doing more 
than 
considering it.  My mind is made up.  If you can't go officially at 
least you 
shouldn't be alone."

"Well there's no chance my agency would approve me doing this," he 
sighed.  
"Not now.  After the fact I'll contrive something that keeps me from 
getting fired.  
Now where's Harm?"
 
"I haven't been able to get him at all," she sighed.  "He answers 
nothing.  You 
know Clay I think he went to the Wall--like he does on Christmas Eve.  
It makes 
him feel close to his dad since he has no grave to visit."

"I can understand that," he said quietly, thinking of his own father 
for a moment.  
"Would you like to drive over and see if he's there?"

"I've started out that door about six times," she smiled,  "but then I 
think, well 
maybe he wants his privacy."

"Or maybe he needs a friend."

"Maybe.  Or two.  Should we?"
=====================
"Good call Colonel," Clay smiled when they approached the Wall.  Harm 
was in 
fact there, leaning with both hands resting on the granite.  "You go 
ahead.  I'm 
not his favorite person right now."


 "Don't go far" Mac urged.
 
 "I'll be right over here," Clay said as he pointed to the nearby 
bench.
 
 Mac nodded and slowly walked over to where Harm stood.
 
 "Harm" she said softly as she approached.
 
 "Figured you'd come eventually," Harm said quietly without turning 
around to 
 face her.  "What's Clay doing here?"
 
 "He concerned about you, just like I am."
 
 "If he's so concerned why is he doing this?"
 
 "Because Clay believes there's a real chance your father might still 
be 
 alive" Mac whispered. "He's not doing this just to hurt you. Neither 
of us 
 wants to do that. We just want to find the truth."
 
 "All my life that's what I've always searched for" Harm said with a 
small 
 laugh. "The truth.  But right now I'm afraid of the truth."
 
 "I know you are," she said as she gently rubbed his back. "But I'm 
here with 
 you Harm. You're not going to go through this alone."
 
 "Do you really think there's a chance he's alive?" Harm whispered.
 
 "I don't know" Mac said honestly. "But I'm willing to go to Vietnam 
and find 
 out. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to find out the truth."
 
 He finally turned to face her and she could see the tears in his eyes. 
 Without another thought she gently pulled him into her arms.
 
 "Mac, I'm scared," he admitted in a small voice. "I don't know if I 
can go 
 through this again."
 
 "I'm here with you Harm" Mac whispered, her own tears pooling. "I 
promise, 
 I'll be there every step of the way, just like I was before. You're 
not 
 alone."
 
 She held him tightly, letting him know she mean every word she said. 
He 
 finally pulled away, wiping back the tears from his eyes. He reached 
for her 
 hand and together they walked over to Clay.
 
 "Harm, you know I didn't do this to hurt you" Clay said quietly. "That 
 wasn't my intention."
 
 "I know" Harm sighed. "Clay, straight up. Is there any chance he's 
still 
 alive?"
 
 "I wouldn't be doing this if there wasn't" Clay replied. "Course you 
know 
 there's a chance he isn't."
 
 Harm nodded, not trusting himself to speak. The idea of reliving his 
 father's death all over again wasn't something he was sure he could 
handle. 
 But if there was some chance....however small.
 
 "Harm" Mac said softly as she squeezed his hand.
 
 "When do you leave for Vietnam?" Harm asked quietly.
 
 "End of the week" Clay replied. "Probably leave here on Saturday. I 
know 
 it's lousy timing...."
 
 "Christmas Eve" Harm whispered, realizing the time frame. "We'll be in 
 Vietnam on Christmas Eve."
 
 "Harm, I'm sorry," Clay said quickly.
 
 "It's okay Clay" Harm said with a deep breath. He looked at Mac and at 
their 
 still intertwined hands. "I don't like the idea of you going" he said 
 softly.
 
 "Harm, I'm not letting you go alone," Mac said firmly. "You're stuck 
with 
 me. I'm going with you sailor."
 
 "Thank you" he said softly before turning to Clay. "I guess we're both 
going 
 with you."
 
 "I'll make the arrangements" Clay nodded. "If you two don't need me, 
I've 
 got to run."
 
 "Go ahead" Mac replied. "Just let us know the flight info when you get 
it."
 
 "Will do" Clay said before sprinting off.

 "Mac, can I have a few minutes" Harm said as he let go of her hand. 
"Since 
 I'm not going to be here on Christmas Eve. Then we can go."
 
 "Yeah I'll be right here," she said softly, reaching for his hand and 
giving 
 it a squeeze before sitting back down on the bench.
 
 Harm slowly walked back to the Wall, once again running his hands over 
the 
 carved name Rabb.
 
 "If you're alive I'm going to find you" Harm said softly. "This time 
I'm not 
 coming back until I have the truth."

WATCH FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF "PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE" COMING 
SOON.