Title: Miserable Souls
Author: Dana
Email: Ninja_girl@seznam.cz
Classification: Romance/Drama   Harm/Mac
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine :,-(  JAG is the property of
Donald P. Bellisario, 
Paramount Pictures, CBS, etc. Just borrowing for some
fun.The song I've 
used don't belong to me either.
Summary: H/M Shipper story
Author's notes: Vanessa is my creation (it's me :-)
).Just pretend Harm 
has a sister. Thanx!!!  Some of you wanted to "see"
her again, so here 
you go!
Spoilers: In this story Mic has never existed, but the
"baby deal" has 
been made and Harm didn't return to flying.

MISERABLE SOULS (1/?)

"Hi my name is Vanessa Catherine Rabb-Harmon Rabb's
sister. I'm 18 
years old. Now I'm sitting on the couch and I'm
nursing my beautiful 
6-month-old niece. I'll tell you some story, story
about love, pain and 
happiness, story, which has an intricate plot, but I
won't tell you this 
time how it
ends...."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"It all started on one day. Harriet wanted Harm and
Harriet's friend
Jennifer Bennett get together":

Harriet walked into Harm's office, "Good morning,
sir."
"Morning Harriet, what can I do for you?"
"Um, may I speak freely sir?" At Harm's nod she
continued, "I just 
wanted to ask you if you want to go on dinner with my
friend Jenny. She's 
alone for so long and I've been wondering..."
Harm cocked an eyebrow at her; "You want me to go on a
date with your 
friend, Harriet?"
Harriet blushed. "Uhmmm... well... I was just asking,
I can find 
someone else if..."
Mac chose that moment and walked into Harm's office.
"Sorry to 
interrupt, but we have to discuss that case, Harm."
Harm looked from Mac to Harriet and said, "Harriet, I
accept your 
invitation. Will you tell me the details later?"
"Yes, sir." Harriet turned on her heels and went to
the bullpen.
Mac couldn't help it, but she was curious, "What
details? What 
invitation? What dinner?"
Harm chuckled at her curiosity, but calmed down when
he saw the 
expression on Mac's face. <Oh Gosh she's so beautiful
when she's mad. But 
she's always beautiful...>
"Oh, Harriet wants me to go on dinner with her friend
Jennifer."
Mac didn't try to hide her jealousy and asked him,
"You sure you want 
to go? What if she is some green creature with yellow
eyes an long 
tentacles?"
Harm chuckled again. "Mac I don't have a date with
space alien, it's 
just her friend."
"So now it's a date?" Mac cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Maaaaac..." Harm groaned.
"I wanted to invite you to my place on dinner, but I
see that my timing 
sucks." Mac checked her inner clock and said, "I
should go Harm, we'll 
discuss that case later." she said sadly, got up from
the chair and 
went to her office.
"Mac wait!" Harm yelled, but Mac didn't turn. He gave
up but thought 
(What a great pity! She asked me out on a date but I
was sooooo dumb, 
that I've accepted that dinner with Jennifer! Hell, I
don't even know her! 
So my Marine is jealous... hmm.... MY MARINE?? Where
did that come 
from??)
As Mac was in her office, she closed her door and
blinds, then sat down 
sadly in her chair.(It has to happen right now, right
now, when I 
wanted to tell him how I feel about him. Maybe it
wasn't destined for us to 
be involved...) Mac thought sadly and forced herself
into work.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Weeks passed away and Harm and Jenny were seriously in
love. But Harm 
hadn't told anything about this to anyone, especially
Mac, because she 
refused to speak to him. She only wanted to talk about
work and cases. 
Harm's mood dropped below the freezing point. For the
first time of 
these weeks he thought, (What's wrong with everybody?
Is it me, or what? 
Everyone is avoiding me! Even my sister and my best
friend! Is it because 
of Jenny? But they never met her! What's wrong with
the world???!!!) He 
realized that the last sentence was spoken out loud
when Vanessa came 
to his office.
"Something wrong, Harmon?" she said coldly. Harm
winced. She has never 
called him like that. Harm had enough, but held
himself in check. "No, 
nothing's wrong, Vanessa." Van raised her eyebrows,
but said nothing, 
walking away.
Jenny came to JAG once, when Harm and she were
supposed to have lunch 
together. He introduced her to everyone, even Mac. To
Mac and Harm's 
surprise, Mac liked Jenny. But she hated the fact that
Harm was in love 
with *her*.

6 MONTHS LATER

After 6-month relationship with Jenny, Harm announced
to Vanessa, "Van, 
I proposed to Jenny and she said yes. I'll marry her."
Vanessa stood 
there speechless with face like a stone.
"Congratulations Harmon. Be 
happy," she said angrily, as she faked a happy smile
and quickly walked 
away. (That's the second time she call me Harmon,) he
thought, (What's 
wrong?)

NEXT DAY, JAG

Mac invaded furiously into Harm's office. "Who do you
think you are?"
Harm blinked several times and asked cautiously.
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me, Harmon Rabb, you heard me very well.
Why didn't you 
tell me?"
"About what?"
Mac sighed and turned her eyes heavenwards.(Oh boy,
this man's such a 
blockhead!) "About your marriage!"
"Ahh, so Vanessa told you that."
"It doesn't matter who said that to me!" she was
becoming very furious. 
"I thought we were best friends!"
"We *were* best friends before you started avoiding me
because of some 
stupid reason I'm not aware of!"
Mac sighed again. "Goodbye, Commander. Be happy." she
said coldly 
turning on her heels to walk away, but immediately
turning back around. "And 
don't count on me for your wedding Commander." and
with that she left. 
Harm heard her office door shut with a loud "BANG".
The whole bullpen 
turned at Mac's door, then at Harm. He got up, closing
his door and 
blinds.

MEANWHILE IN ADMIRAL'S OFFICE

"What the heck is this, Colonel?" AJ shouted as he
looked again at the 
paper in his hands.
"My resignation sir." Mac said sharply.
"Don't do this to me Colonel, you and Rabb are the
best lawyers JAG has 
ever had!"
"I'm aware of that, sir, but..."
"But nothing, Colonel. If it's because of some stupid
personal problems 
between you and Rabb I don't want to hear it,
understood?"
"Yes sir. But this has to do nothing with the
Commander. I want to 
settle down and have a family." Admiral softened. "But
you can have a 
family even if you are in the Marine Corps."
"I know, sir, but when I'd be out of town for some
case or on one of 
Webb's crazy missions, my family would be worried. I
want to live with a 
family as every other woman. I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so
glad that I've 
had this opportunity to work here with such great
people, but it's time 
to go."
Admiral sighed deeply. "Alright, Colonel. I accept
your request. If you 
ever need anything... Mac, you know where to find us."
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it very much."
"We'll miss you Mac."
AJ walked towards her and gave her a big hug.(Oh God,
Rabb has to be 
stupid to let her slip away. I don't want to see how
crazy he'll be when 
she's gone.)
"I know." she said sadly and saluted him for the last
time. She went 
away to pack her things.
AJ shook his head and wondered. (Why Mac ,why? Rabb
loves you, so why?)

MAC'S OFFICE

Mac was packing all her things. She looked sadly at
crying Harriet in 
her chair.
"Why ma'am?" she asked with tear-filled voice. "You'll
never know 
Harriet." Mac said and sighed.
Vanessa opened the door and saw the scene before her.
"What the heck 
are you doing? He kicked you out didn't he? Wait, I'll
talk to him...."
"No, Vany. I resigned my position in the Corps. It was
my choice." Mac 
walked away with a big box in her arms from her
office. She nearly 
bumped into Harm. "Sorry," she apologized quickly and
went to the 
elevators.
Harm was panic-stricken when he noticed that big box
and ran to her. 
"M...Mac...what are you doing?"
"I'm leaving JAG."
"But...but why?"
"Personal issues."
"What?"
Mac stepped into the elevator and pushed the button.
"Goodbye Harm. 
You'll never see me again." She looked in Harm's eyes
for the last time.
The elevators door closed and Harm was dumbfounded. He
saw in her eyes 
sadness, coldness... and....(Was it love?) Harm
couldn't stand it and 
took the rest of the day off.
Meanwhile in the elevator a single tear escaped Mac's
eye.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Harm drove to Mac's apartment building. He ran to the
stairs and 
knocked on Mac's door, but it was open. He was
shocked-it was empty. He saw 
Mac's neighbor, caught her by the arm and yelled at
her, "Where is she? 
What's happening here?"
"But who? You mean Sarah Mackenzie? She moved out."
"Do you know where she is now?"  "No, I'm sorry, I
don't." she said and 
walked away.
Harm sat down with his back to the wall and cried.
Suddenly someone asked, "Harm?"
"Sarah?" he asked, hoping it'd be her.
"No, it's me, Vanessa. What happened?"
"I muffed it, Van." Harm said quietly. "I really
muffed it. My life is 
not worth it...wait. You talked to Sarah... She gave
you her new 
address, right?"
"Harm... I... I...."
"Van, tell me, please. I need to see her!"
"I can't. I'm sorry, but she didn't want me to give it
to you, I 
promised. Let's go inside."
Moments later, Harm heard, "Uhh.... Harm?"
"Yes?"
"I found a letter.... for you."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Harm picked up the small envelope and a beautiful
necklace fell from 
it. A ravishing memories washed over Harm, when he
remembered that day, 
when he had given it to her....:

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Harm knocked on the door. Mac opened it and smiled.
"What are you doing 
here Harm?"
"I wanted to give you something." he smiled widely and
Mac let him in.
They sat down on the couch and Harm gave Mac a small
red box. Mac 
opened it and.... "Oh gosh, Harm, it's beautiful! You
shouldn't have Harm, 
it was expensive and...."
"Mac, stop, you're worth it. You're my best friend and
with this I want 
to thank you for everything you've done for me."
Mac hugged him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you,
Harm. For 
everything." Harm smiled at her and took the necklace
from her hands and fixed it 
around her neck. "It's beautiful." Mac beamed.
"Not as you are." Harm said softly and looked in her
eyes. He leaned 
down and kissed her softly on the lips. It was meant
to be a soft kiss 
but it took a life of its own and became more
passionate. Harm enveloped 
her in his strong arms and Mac smiled against his
lips. He put her on 
her back ,still kissing her. Mac unbuttoned his shirt
to reveal his 
muscular chest and slipped her hands underneath the
shirt and caressed his 
strong back lovingly. Harm didn't wait and unbuttoned
her shirt and 
planted small kisses all along her neck and above her
breasts. They kissed 
each other gently and with their hands they began to
explore each 
others' bodies. Both moaned when their tongues met.
Then the telephone rang........

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Harm? Harm!" Vanessa said and waved her hand in front
of his face.
"Yeah?"
"Won't you read that letter?" she asked and raised her
eyebrows.
"Umm, yeah, of course. Could you please leave me alone
for a while?"
"Sure. I'll come back." she said, and walked away.
Harm began to read the letter from Mac and clasped his
hand tightly 
around the necklace.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Hey Harm,
It's kind of weird to write you a letter, but I had to
write it, 
because I can't express my feelings for you to your
face. I'm afraid of that, 
'cause you don't feel the same. Even if it's hurting
me so much, I have 
to leave Harm. You don't need me anymore in your life.
I moved out of 
my apartment, Van has my address, but I didn't want
you to have it. 
Please forgive me, Harm, it's better this way, for all
of us. Harm, I want 
you to be happy with Jenny. If you're happy, I'll be
happy too. 
Remember that day when you gave me this necklace?
Remember what happened? I've 
been wondering lately, what would've happen if the
phone didn't rang-if 
Vanessa didn't call. Anyway it's been on my mind since
that day when 
you met Jenny on that dinner. I want to thank you for
everything you've 
done for me in my life. I won't ever forget that,
sailor. Take care of 
yourself flyboy, if you get into trouble again, I
won't be there to save 
your six!
                        You'll always be my best
friend

                                    I LOVE YOU
                                              Goodbye
                                                      
    Sarah"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

He noticed that the letters of "I LOVE YOU" were
blurry. (She was 
crying while she was writing it. Oh gosh, Sarah,
forgive me...) Then the 
meaning of "I LOVE YOU" dawned on him and he began to
cry again.


TO BE CONTINUED........

See Chapter One for Disclaimers.
HUGE THANKS goes to Valleri, my beta reader! Thanks
Vali, without your 
help, I'd be lost. Thanks a lot!!!

MISERABLE SOULS (2/?)

Vanessa returned to Mac's old apartment ad she saw
Harm sitting on the 
floor crying. She ran to him and hugged him. After a
while he calmed 
down and she asked, "Harm, what happened? Why are you
crying?"
"That letter..."
Vanessa took that letter from him and said gently,
"Harm, don't read 
this again, okay?"
"I won't Van."
"Let's go home Harm."
"Okay. Vany?"
"Hm?"
"Thanks."
"What for?"
"For helping me when I need it."
(That was Mac's job)Vanessa thought sadly. "Don't
mention it. You're my 
big brother and I love you." she smiled.
"I love you too, sis." he gave her a watery smile.
They quietly drove 
back to their apartment.

HARM'S APARTMENT, 20 MINUTES LATER

Harm walked into his apartment. He noticed 2 voice
messages on the 
recording machine. He pushed "play" and Mac's sweet
voice filled the room. 
It was obvious that she's crying.
"Harm... I.. I'm so sorry, but there wasn't any other
way. Forgive me 
please, for leaving. I left you a letter in my old
apartment."
There was a pause and Vanessa walked up to Harm and
placed her hand on 
his shoulder.
"Goodbye, Harm, be happy. I love you."
Harm's eyes filled with tears. There was a next
massage, "Harm, love, 
it's me, Jenny. I've already come home from that
business trip. Call me 
when you're home. I love you."

"Harm, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but next
week I have a 
meeting with Mac."
"What? When and where?"
"On Wednesday in some restaurant. Harmon Rabb, don't
you dare spy on 
us!"
"That never crossed my mind!" Harm smiled devilishly.
"Really?" Vanessa asked, quipping.
"Mmmm.... only two thousand times." He smiled, but as
soon as he saw 
the expression on her face, he apologized, "Just
kidding, Van. I'm 
sorry."
"OK. I'm going to bed. Night."
Harm was too busy to respond-he was writing a letter
for Mac.

VAN'S BEDROOM

When was Vanessa undressing, she remembered the letter
from Mac in the 
pocket of her pants. She picked it up and began to
read. When she was 
finished, she couldn't believe her eyes. What if she
never called that 
night? She turned the lights off and went to sleep.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After finishing his letter for Mac, Harm fell
exhausted on the couch 
.He fell asleep almost immediately and he was dreaming
of Mac...again. 
These last 3 years he wasn't dreaming of anything else
.But tonight he 
was dreaming of Jenny too. Harm was confused in his
sleep.
He looked to his right side. There was Mac in all her
beauty, her hand 
in his. She looked upon him and smiled brilliantly.
Harm looked to his 
other side and there was Jenny, holding his other hand
.She smiled too 
and began to pull him away from Mac. Mac's smile faded
and she let go 
of his hand and began to walk away. Jenny pulled him
further and further 
from Mac. Harm tried to shout at Mac, to call her
back, but he 
couldn't.
He woke up in sweat, realizing, that Vanessa was
sitting at his side on 
the couch. "What time is it?"  he mumbled sleepily.
"Half past six. Nightmare?"
"Umm, something like that." Van didn't have to wonder
about what he was 
dreaming of. "Harm... you called her name... I know
it's hard, but you 
have to deal with it."
"I know. It's really hard, she was my best friend you
know?"
"Only that, Harm?"
"Don't start. I've got work to do." Vanessa watched
him sadly as he 
went to bathroom.


A WEEK LATER, WEDNESDAY

Vanessa and Mac met in restaurant near the Mac's new
apartment 
building.
"Sarah! How are you?" Van asked as they hugged.
"I've been better. How about you and Harm?"
"Let's say it's not that easy to put up with a crazy
brother. I think 
that he doesn't know what to do with himself." Vanessa
chuckled but 
stopped when she saw the expression on her friend's
face.
"Sar, are you alright?"
"No, not really. I miss him so much, Van," and with
that she started to 
cry.
Vanessa hugged her until Mac's tears subsided. "I
know. Oh, before I 
forget, he wrote you a letter. I have to go, but when
you read that, I 
want to know what's in there." Vanessa pointed on the
small envelope in 
Mac's trembling hands. She smiled sadly and left
restaurant. She drove 
to her new apartment and sat down on the sofa and
ripped the envelope 
open. The same necklace fell into her hands with his
letter.

"20th March

Hey Sarah,
You were right when you wrote that's kind of weird to
write you a 
letter. I bet you're surprised that I've given that
necklace back to you. It 
belongs to you and I want you to have it, Sarah.
I forgave you. I miss you so much. We all miss you.
Harriet is crying 
most of the time-Admiral ordered her to go home. And I
don't want to be 
in Admiral's presence longer than 3 minutes or he'll
nail my ass on his 
wall-I know it's not that easy to put up with me these
days. When I 
want to talk to you in your office about some case, I
stop and realize 
that you're gone. Why don't you want to see me? I
don't understand that 
one.( I don't bite.;-)
I will never forget *that* night. When I found out
that you love me, I 
almost fainted. How can you say I don't feel the same?
I may not be the 
best to say it, but paper is better for me, so I write
this: I LOVE YOU 
TOO MY MARINE, and don't you ever forget that. I heard
these songs in 
the radio and it reminded me of you. So I'll write
them for you. The 
first is sung by Westlife, it's called "Walk Away".
The second one is from 
The Calling. It's called "Wherever You Will Go":

"Here we are, just a little older,
time goes by
but did I ever tell you why
I want you so much,
It came to me when you were not around
you'll always be
the one to understand that's why
I can't miss your touch

All my life I waited for someone
And all this time
you were the one so

If you want a man that is here to stay
swearing he's forever true
I'll never walk away
I'll never give up on you
And if you want a love that will save the day
no matter what you're going through
I'll never walk away
I'll never walk out on you

I've been a fool
I didn't see behind the friend in you
And baby don't you ask me why
It just couldn't be love
Cause from the start
You'll be the one to cure my heart
But I just didn't look this way
Now I can't get enough

All my life
I waited for someone
And all this time
You were the one, so

If you want a man that is here to stay
Swearing he's forever true
I'll never walk away
I'll never give up on you
And if you want love that will save the day
No matter what you're going through
I'll never walk away
I'll never walk out on you

And with a kiss you turn my world around
Oh
You take my whole life
Colored up the dark sky
And this I come as you

If you want a man that is here to stay
Swearing he's forever true
I'll never walk away
I'll never give up on you
And if you want love that will save the day
No matter what you're going through
I'll never walk away
I'll never walk out on you"


The Calling, Wherever You Will Go

"So lately, I've been wonderin'
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go"


"Yeah, that's right, I've been a fool and I'm so
sorry, that it took me 
God-knows-how-long to "say" I love you Sarah. Oh boy,
what I wouldn't 
do to taste your sweet lips again and your beautiful
body pressed 
against mine.....oh boy ,I have to stop myself, it's
almost midnight.
I love you
       Harm"

Mac couldn't believe her eyes! Her flyboy loved her!
Oh boy! Some tears 
of happiness and sadness left her eyes.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Weeks passed and Harm was still desperately missing
Mac.
One day, they bumped into each other near the small
supermarket. Mac's 
things fell from her arms. "I'm sorry miss. Here let
me help you." Harm 
said, unaware of the fact that this "miss" was the
love of his life. 
The both reached in the same time for Mac's things on
the pavement and 
bumped their heads. "Ouch." Mac said and her eyes met
the blue ones.
"Harm?" she asked dumbfounded.
"Sarah? What are you doing here?"
Mac's heart stopped in her chest. He was more handsome
than she 
remembered. "Uhmm... just doing some shopping. Aren't
you supposed to be in 
JAG?"
"Nope. I called in sick today." he grinned broadly.
"You don't look so sick right now." Mac smiled at him.
There was a long pause before Harm spoke quietly,
"Sarah, we have to 
talk."
Mac looked in his eyes. "About what?"
He thought for a moment, then blurted out, "About us,
about this crazy 
mess we've made."
"Harm..."
"No, don't shut me out Sarah. Come on, I'll take you
somewhere, where 
we can talk."
Harm led her to a small narrow street just around the
corner, where 
nobody could saw them. Mac hugged him tightly and this
action took Harm 
off guard, but he hugged her back.
"I miss you, Harm."
"I miss you too, Sarah. Did you read my letter?"
Mac began to cry and Harm hugged her again, asking,
"Mac, what's 
wrong?"
"It's just.... just that letter... I wasn't prepared
for this Harm. Why 
didn't you tell me?"
"Because I was afraid you might not feel the same.
Funny, though. I 
love you Sarah. With all my heart."

Mac leaned forward and brushed her lips against his
very, very softly. 
Harm pushed her backwards until she was pressed
between him and the 
wall and kissed her with all he had. Mac happily
accepted his tongue as it 
gently probed her luscious mouth and she used her own
tongue to duel 
with his. Mac hooked her leg high around his waist and
both moaned 
simultaneously. Mac could feel Harm's arousal through
his jeans. His hands 
were roaming on all her body, caressing her thighs as
he pushed her skirt 
around her waist.

"BEEP-BEEP-BEEP"
"What the heck-" Harm groaned as he tore himself from
Mac's sweet lips.
"Oh, that's my pager." she said and looked at it. She
sighed. "I'm so 
sorry Harm, but my office is calling me back. I have
to go."
"So you have a new job already?"
"Yup. It was more than great to see you again Harm."
"My pleasure Sarah. I love you." Mac kissed him gently
and went away.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

That week when Mac and Harm met, Harm had lunch with
his fiancée.
"Harm, we have to talk." Jenny said seriously.
"Yeah I know Jen."
"I don't want to hurt you Harm, but I feel that you're
not the right 
man for me. I don't want to marry you. Please forgive
me... I..."
"No Jen, it's okay. I don't want to marry you,
either." Both of them 
laughed.
"So I guess that's it..." Jenny said. "Goodbye, Harmon
Rabb. Be happy."
"Goodbye Jennifer Bennett, find the right man for you"

TO BE CONTINUED....

See Chapter One for Disclaimers.
HUGE THANKS goes to Valleri, my proofreader! Thanks
Vali, without your 
help, I'd be lost. Thanks a lot !!!

MISERABLE SOULS (3/?)

Weeks passed after Harm's break up with Jenny. He
missed Mac terribly.

16th June

The telephone rang in Harm's apartment.
"Rabb." Harm said into the phone.
"Here's doctor Lesley Black from Washington Hospital."
"What happened doctor?"
"There was a hard accident on the Beltway. Your
partner, Sarah 
Mackenzie....she's here, in hospital."
Harm was shocked. "Doctor, she'll be fine, won't she?"
"It will be better for you to come here," the doctor
said and hung up. 
Harm was expecting the worst.
Vanessa came up to him and asked, "Are you alright?
You look like 
you've seen a ghost."
"Sarah was involved in a hard car accident, she's in
hospital now. You 
go with me?" Harm asked grabbing his keys.
Vanessa was shocked and stuttered, "Of course, let's
go."

WASHINGTON HOSPITAL,10 MINUTES LATER

Harm and Vanessa rushed to the hospital. Harm yelled
at the nearest 
nurse, "Where's Dr. Black?"
"Here I am," a small woman came up to them. She had
shorter black hair 
and brown eyes. "You must be Commander Rabb."
"Yeah. This is my sister, and Sarah's friend,
Vanessa."
 "Nice to meet you, Miss Rabb."
"Tell us doctor, is it serious?" Harm asked quickly.
" I won't give you any wrong ideas, Commander. It's
really serious. She 
had an injured spleen and she's lost too much blood.
We fixed that 
wound, but she hasn't woken up from unconsciousness
yet. We're almost 
positive that she won't survive this night. I'm so
sorry. Inform please all 
her relatives and friends."
"I...I'll take care of that." Vanessa said shocked.
"Can... can I see her?" Harm asked.
"Of course, but only ten minutes."
"Thanks doctor."
He went to Mac's room. When he saw her for the first
time, she was so 
helpless, so weak...He went to her bed, sat down and
took her small hand 
in his.
"Unghh..."
Harm heard very quiet sound and realized it was Mac.
"Sarah... love, 
can you hear me? Please, open your eyes, Sarah...
sweetheart, I love you, 
try it please..."
She opened her eyes slowly. "H-Harm?" she asked
weakly.
"Yeah, I'm here sweetheart."
Mac turned her head and looked straight at Harm.
"How are you?"
"I've been better," she smiled weakly. "What
happened?"
"You were involved in a hard car accident. Your spleen
was injured, but 
the doctors fixed it," he sighed.
"Harm? You're not telling me everything, are you?"
He sighed again. "No. The doctors are almost positive
that you won't 
survive this night." Some tears fell from his eyes.
"Harm, please, don't cry."
"If I just talked with you sooner...this wouldn't have
happened."
"Don't say what if Harm. Promise me that no matter
what happens, you'll 
be happy. Promise me, Harm."
Harm didn't say any word.
"Harm, promise me," Mac urged him. "Raise a family.
Buy a big house 
with a picket fence. Have ten kids, just do anything
to make you happy."
"But you don't understand!" Harm suddenly cried.
"*YOU* are what makes 
me happy! I don't want to lose you."
"Harm... I'm sure you'll be happy with Jen, she's
great woman."
"Yeah." Harm said sadly.
"Harm, what's wrong?" Mac asked and clasped his hand
tightly.
"I'll miss you Sarah."
"I'll miss you too Harm," she said looking in his
eyes. Harm caressed 
her cheek.
"I love you Sarah." Tears streamed down her face. Then
she winced.
"Sarah? What's wrong? You OK?
"It hurts so much here," she said pointing on her
spleen. "Harm, I'm 
scared, I don't want to die."
"You won't die. You won't do this to me." he smiled
desperately and 
pressed the button labeled 'HELP'. Seconds later the
group of four doctors 
rushed to Mac's room.
"Commander, it would be better if you wait outside."
Dr. Black said. 
Harm took the last look at Mac. The love of his life.
She looked at him, 
her eyes were full of fear.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The door of Mac's room quickly opened and the group
rushed with Mac's 
bed to the surgery room.
Dr. Black stopped in front of Harm. "She's in serious
condition, we're 
taking her to the surgery room."
Harm looked at helpless Sarah. She mouthed 'I love
you' and then 
disappeared in the surgery room.

20 MINUTES LATER

Dr. Black and other doctors walked from the surgery.
Harm got up from 
his chair, expecting the worst.
"I'm so sorry." Dr. Black said, and Harm's worst
nightmare came true. 
He tumbled down in his chair and cried.
Vanessa and the others from JAG came to the waiting
room. She saw her 
brother crying. "No...." she breathed, tears slipping
from her eyes. 
Harm looked up  at them.
The Admiral asked, "Is she....?"
Harm nodded and buried his face in his hands. Vanessa
went to him and 
hugged him, tears now streaming down her face.
Everything was quiet.

MEANWHILE IN THE SURGERY ROOM

Mac was sitting on the hospital bed, staring at the
white wall in front 
of her, tears streaming quickly down her pale face.
Clayton Webb came 
from the back door.
"Mac..." he said and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Why? Why do we have to do this? Why do we have to
hurt so many 
people?" Mac asked.
"If we didn't do this, they'll die. Remember, what
Palmer said."
Mac will never forget that night.

16th March,,23:35

Someone knocked on Mac's new apartment door. She was
expecting 
him-special agent Clark Palmer.
"What do you want now? You're not satisfied with me
leaving JAG?"
"No, of course not. My plan is big."
"If you want to kill me, you should have done that
long before." Mac 
stated angrily.
"Yeah, I could kill you, but I'll do it otherwise. If
you don't 
cooperate, I'll kill everyone at JAG and that little
bitch Vanessa."
"If you just touch Harm, Vanessa or the others, I
swear I'll kill you, 
you damn bastard!"
"Ho, ho, ho-you're in love with Rabb, aren't you? So
listen you little 
bitch!" Palmer shouted and clasped his hand tightly
around Mac's 
throat.
"He's in love with you too. You'll fake a death in a
car accident. 
You'll never see him. I let him believe, that you're
dead. And that's how 
he'll slowly die -of pain and sorrow. It's easy...."
he laughed 
devilishly and went away.

PRESENT TIME

"You're right Clay." Mac said sadly.
"We'll catch him, don't worry."   Mac only nodded
suspiciously.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

28th June

That day when should be Harm's and Jennifer's wedding,
that day took 
place Mac's funeral. There were a lot of people on the
funeral-all these 
people who loved her.
"Accept my sincere condolence, ma'am." AJ said to
Mac's mother.
"Thank you, Admiral." Deanne said with tears in her
eyes.
"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Trish said to her son.
Harm kept quiet.
"Harmon, won't you talk with your mother?" she asked.
"Give up, mom. He hadn't talked with anyone since...
she died in 
hospital." Vanessa said, tears running freely down her
cheeks.
"Oh, sweetheart!" Trish exclaimed and hugged her
daughter.

Mac saw all of it and it broke her heart. She was
perfectly hidden 
behind the tree.
Clay walked behind her and placed his hands on her
shoulders. "We 
should go Mac."
"OK." Mac said with a tearful voice. "Clay?"
"Hmmm?"
"How's Harm?"
"From what I heard from Vanessa, she told me he hasn't
spoken to anyone 
since your 'death' in the hospital. He's going to
pronounce the funeral 
oration."
"Thanks."
"No problem, Mac."
They drove to the church where was the last funeral
service.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Harm began his speech and Mac listened carefully.
"This day should be happy, but before this... tragedy
happened, me and 
Jennifer split up." Mac was shocked-she didn't know
that.
"Sarah was a perfect woman, best friend, and surely
she'd be a great 
wife and mother." Mac smiled sadly, remembering their
deal. "We all love 
her. With her smile she managed to lit up whole room
and make better 
everyone's mood." He looked up and pronounced, "We'll
miss you, Sarah 
Catherine Mackenzie." Tears fell from everyone's eyes.
Mac's cheeks were stained with tears as she whispered,
"I'll miss you 
too."

MC MURPHY'S BAR, 21:30 (EST)

The whole JAG accidentally met at McMurphy's. Harm was
leaning against 
the jukebox and playing the same song over for tenth
time.
Vanessa came to McMurphy's as a second person from
JAG, "Harm, I've 
been looking for you everywhere."
"I was here, all this time." Vanessa winced as she
smelled the beer in 
his breath.
"Harm, you're drunk."
"I just had 3 beers and five straight bourbons." The
song ended and 
Harm played it again-for the eleventh time.
"Hey buddy, don't you want to stop this?" someone
yelled at him.
"Nope, I'm just getting started." he yelled back to
the space.
Vanessa left Harm and went to the bar.
"What was that all about?" she asked the bartender.
"Uhm, he played this song from Westlife for the
eleventh time."

"You said goodbye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To a never knew
I needed you so bad
You need to let things go
I know you told me so
I've been through hell
To break the spell
When did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling I once knew

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry
cause you're not here with me
Cause I'm lonely as man can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

If you could see me know
You would know just how
How hard I tried not wonder why
I wish I could believe in something new
Oh please somebody tell me it's not truth
(oh girl)I'll never be over you

When did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling I once knew

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry
Cause you're not here with me
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

If I could have you back tomorrow
If could lose the pain and sorrow
I would do just anything
To make you see
You still love me

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I never breathe your love again
I cry
cause you're not here with me
Cause I'm lonely as man can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I never breathe your love again"

"You know, he just lost the love of his life. The
funeral finished at 
1500." Vanessa said to the bartender.
"What happened to her?"
"Car accident. You should remember her. Shorter brown
hair, brown 
eyes...."
"That pretty woman?"
"Yup. She was my best friend. And I'm his sister."
Suddenly the song 
changed from Westlife to S Club 7.

"Sometimes it's wrong to walk away
Though you think it's over
there's so much more to say
suddenly the moment's gone
and all your dreams are upside down
and you just want to change the way the world goes
round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see
That's the way I feel
About you and me baby
Have you ever found your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know
Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong
We should be together
Back in your arms
Where I belong
Now I finally realize
It was forever than I found
I give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see
That's the way I feel
About you and me baby
Have you ever found your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know
Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say
That you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away
Can't you see
Even though the moment's gone
I'm so holding on somehow
Wishin' I can change the way the world goes round

Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see
That's the way I feel
About you and me baby
Have you ever found your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know
Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go"

Admiral walked in, "Hey Vanessa. Where's Harm?"
"At the jukebox."
AJ looked at helpless Harm.
"Your wish, sir?" the bartender asked.
"Bring her back."
"Sorry?"
"Double bourbon straight up."
"Be careful AJ, or you'll end up like my brother. He
was playing "I 
Cry" from Westlife eleven times. Now it's "Have You
Ever" from S Club 7."
"I think it would be better for him to go home. I'll
help you with 
him."
"Thanks."
AJ quickly drank his bourbon and with Vanessa they
walked up to Harm.
"Harm, we'll take you home." Van said. Harm didn't
respond, because he 
was asleep.
"Oh great." Vanessa murmured and she took him with AJ
to the car.

HARM'S APARTMENT,22:30(EST)

"Ufff, he's heavy." Vanessa said as they put him to
his bed.
"Sarah... mphmmm...." Harm breathed in his sleep.
"Thanks AJ, for helping me with him."
"Don't mention it. Will you two be fine?"
"Maybe," Van said sadly.
"I'll give him 2 weeks... to recover."
"Thanks, he needs that. But he needs all his life to
recover." Vanessa 
said and some tears escaped her eyes. Then AJ went
home.

UNKNOWN LOCATION

Mac saw the scene on the screen. Clayton was
monitoring Harm's 
apartment since her 'death'. Clay walked to Mac.
"Thanks Clay for doing this for me," she pointed on
the screen with 
tears in her eyes.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Weeks passed away and Mac was still watching Harm in
his apartment. He 
was crying most of the time or sleeping, exhausted
from crying 24 hours 
a day. Every day he went to the cemetery to her grave
and tell her 
things that were happening in his life and JAG.
Everyday Mac was there with 
him, hidden behind that tree. She heard everything-how
he loves her, 
how Harriet is expecting the second child, about his
cases and how is 
little AJ constantly asking "Where's Aunt Mac?".

Twice a week Vanessa came too, when her brother wasn't
around.
"Oh Sarah, do you know how much I miss you?" she
asked, tears sliding 
down her cheeks. "Do you know how much I need you? How
much *he* needs 
you? Harm told me about you accidental meeting at the
supermarket. I was 
surprised, he didn't tell me this, neither you.
Yesterday Harriet found 
out that she's expecting twins. One is a girl and the
other is a boy. 
She named the girl after you Sarah. Uh, I gotta go."
Tears flowed out of Mac's eyes as she drove back to
her secret place.

JAG HQ, 9th January, next year

Half a year passed from Mac's 'death'. Harm lost
almost all of his 
cases, so AJ wasn't giving him big cases, only small
ones. He fully 
understood him.


HARM'S APARTMENT, 25th March, 23:45

Someone knocked on Harm's door. Harm thought (Who this
could be at this 
hour?) He opened the door and his jaw hit the floor.
In front of him was standing Sarah Catherine Mackenzie
in all her 
beauty........

TO BE CONTINUED.......

See Chapter One for Disclaimers.
HUGE THANKS goes to Valleri (valleri@goddess.com), my
proofreader! 
Thanks Vali,
without your help, I'd be lost. You're perfect!
I used these songs in this chapter: "The One"
performed by Shakira, "I 
Wanna Grow Old
With You" and "To Be Loved" by Westlife, "Have I Told
You Lately" by 
Van Morisson,
"I've Got You" performed by Marc Anthony. None of
these songs belong to 
me!

>From chapter 3:

HARM'S APARTMENT, 25th March, 23:45

Someone knocked on Harm's door. Harm thought [Who this
could be at this 
hour?] He
opened the door and his jaw hit the floor. In front of
him was standing 
Sarah Catherine
Mackenzie in all her beauty........

MISERABLE SOULS (4/5)
Her eyes were red and puffy and she was soaked from
the rain from the 
spring storm. She
was shaking violently. [Oh God, but is she
beautiful!], Harm thought.
"Ha-Harm?" Harm woke up when she spoke at him quietly.
He let her in to 
his apartment
and Mac walked in doubtfully. Harm was talking to
himself, [I'm not 
normal. This is
Sarah, my beloved Sarah! No, I'm not normal.]
He ran over to her and hugged her tightly. Mac hugged
him back and she 
was holding
him so tightly that she was afraid that they stifle
each other. Then 
they began to kiss
passionately. After a few moments Mac began to shake
again. Harm led 
her to his
bedroom and gave her the smallest clothes he could
find. "Go to shower, 
wear this and
then we'll talk, OK?" Mac only nodded.

20 MINUTES LATER

Mac walked out of Harm's bedroom and smiled to herself
as her partner 
danced while
waiting for the water to boil. Mac sat down on the
couch. Harm gave her 
the mug with
tea and sat down next to her. He wanted to hug her so
badly, but he 
waited, until they
talked.
"I don't know how to start," Mac said, looking into
his blue eyes.
"Neither do I," he smiled.
She smiled back and took his hands in hers and
squeezed them tightly. 
"Just before I left
JAG - I think a month before I left JAG, Palmer
escaped from 
Leavenworth and began to
threaten me. He said that if I didn't cooperate, he
would kill everyone 
at JAG, so I
accepted to play his game. I contacted Webb and he
helped me so much. I 
had to have an
argument with you and leave JAG because of you. Then
the accident... 
you should have
died from pain and sorrow, he said. I shouldn't have
seen you anymore."
Rage raced through Harm, but he held himself in check.
[I'll kill that 
bastard with my
bare hands!]
"So how's that you're here?"
"Clay called me 2 hours ago that Palmer is dead. They
shoot him. Point 
blank," she said,
smiling as the song "The One", by Shakira, began to
play.

"So I find a reason to shave my legs
Each single morning
So I count on someone
Friday nights to take me dancing
And then to church on Sundays
To plant more dreams
And someday think of kids
Or maybe just to save a little money

You're the one I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
You're the one I need
My real life has just begun
Cause there's nothing like
Your smile made of sun
In a world full of strangers
You're the one I know

So I learn to cook
And finally lose my kitchen phobia
So I've got the arms to cuddle in
When there's a ghost or a muse
That brings insomnia

To buy more thongs
And write more happy songs
It always takes a little help from someone

You're the one I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
You're the one I need
My real life has just begun
Cause there's nothing like
Your smile made of sun

You're the one I need
You're the one I need
With you my real life has just begun
You're the one I need
Nothing like your smile made of sun
Nothing like your love
Nothing like your love
Nothing like your love"

"I'm so sorry, Harm."
"You don't have to be sorry for anything," he said,
gently stroking her 
hands. "Sarah...
I..."
She put her finger on his lips and whispered, "I know.
I love you too."
He grinned broadly, "I missed you so much Sarah."
"Same here sailor," she said and kissed him. Then the
song "I Wanna 
Grow Old With
You" by Westlife started.
Harm stood up and offered her his hand, "May I?"
"Always," she smiled as she took his hand. They swayed
to the slow 
rhythm of the song,
which perfectly described their newfound relationship.
Mac laid her 
head on Harm's
shoulder and sighed happily as he began to sing softly
into her ear:

"Another day without your smile
Another day just passing by
But now i know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spend apart will make our love go stronger
But it hurts so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you"

Mac stood up on her toes and kissed him gently. Harm
kissed her back 
and soon they
forgot all about dancing. They kissed passionately as
they were soon 
both breathless.
They pulled apart from each other and Harm looked into
Mac's deep eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I've never been more sure in my life," Mac said and
smiled seductively 
at him, running
her tongue along her lip.
The song continued playing on the radio...

"A thousand miles
Between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along

The time we spend apart will make our love go stronger
But it hurts so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go
I know but baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you"

Harm swallowed, picked her up and carried her to his
bedroom. There he 
laid her on the
bed and kissed her gently. He began to undress her.
"I hope that no one will call now," Mac laughed.
Harm laughed and tore the telephone wire out of the
wall. "They won't."
Both laughed again and kissed gently. Mac didn't
hesitate and began to 
undress him too.
As she was under him naked he breathed, "Oh God!"
"Not too disappointing?" she smiled at him.
"Oh God, Sarah, you're so beautiful!"
"I'm glad you think so stickboy."
"I'll show you stickboy and then..."
"Harm, shut up and c'mere."
"Aye aye ma'am." he smiled.
Their lips locked as their bodies joined. They both
thought, [Finally! 
Finally we're
together!]
That night they made love three times even more before
exhaustion 
overtook them and
they fell asleep at 3 am.
THAT MORNING, 9:54
Harm woke up. He thought that all of this was just a
dream, because he 
didn't find Mac
next to him in his bed. He got up and went to kitchen
in only his 
boxers really frustrated.
But as soon he saw Mac moving around the kitchen, his
heart jumped with 
joy. He
walked up to her and put his arms around her from
back. Mac slightly 
jumped but then
relaxed in his strong arms.
"I'm glad it wasn't a dream," he said, planting small
kisses on her 
neck and bare
shoulders. She was wearing his oversized shirt that
reached her 
mid-thigh. Harm
wondered if she had anything under that. Mac laughed
feeling something 
hard between
her legs.
"Penny for your thoughts flyboy. And don't you try to
deny it, because 
I can feel it," she
laughed again at his expression.
"Just wondering if you have something under that," he
pointed on the 
shirt.
"You'll have to find out."
Harm traced his hands up her thighs, higher and
higher....
"HARM!" she shrieked, totally shocked as he touched
her intimate parts.
"You said I have to find out. What do you think I'm
doing then, 
Ninja-girl?" Harm smiled
innocently.
"You... I'll show you Ninja-girl!" Mac smiled
devilishly and dragged 
him to the couch.
She pushed him down and stripped him to his boxers,
sitting on top of 
him. Harm ripped
the shirt off her and they made love for the fifth
time. Mac collapsed 
against his chest,
breathing heavily.
"Wow, that was something!" Harm exclaimed.
"Yeah.... it... was... really... something..." Mac
said gasping for 
air.
After their breathing returned to normal Mac said
sadly, "Harm, I have 
to go. I think Clay
must be crazy right now where I am. Just to tell him
where I was, am 
and will be.." she
smiled.
"But I think he knows already where you are," Harm
smiled back at her, 
gently stroking
her cheek. "I love you Sarah."
"I love you too Harm," she said kissing him softly.
She stood up and 
went to the
bathroom. Twenty minutes later she reappeared in her
clothes. "I'll 
come back soon, I
promise," Mac smiled and kissed him gently.
"I'll be waiting."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Mac drove to her secret place and met a very furious
Clayton Webb.
"Where were you?" he demanded.
"I thought you already know."
"Well, I guessed, but I want you to tell me."
"After your call last night I went to Harm's. He has
the right to know, 
so I  told him
everything."
"Okay. Where will you be?"
"Uhm..., you can reach me at my old place," Mac said
and walked away.

HARM'S APARTMENT, HALF AN HOUR LATER

Mac knocked on the door. "May I come in?" she smiled.
"You always can, sweetheart," Harm smiled back and
they kissed 
passionately.
"Harm, we have to talk."
"Oh shit, I knew it. I wasn't good in bed so you...."
"Harm..."
"So you'll dump me and I'll be sad, but I..."
"Harm....!" There was no way to shut him up.
"But I love you Sarah. We can try and make it better
in bed 
if....ummpmmphhh......" Mac
took his face in her hands and kissed him.
"No way I'm going to dump you sailor. I've never felt
like this before. 
And with that bed,
I've never, never felt so loved from just lovemaking,
Harm. Now be 
quiet."
Harm seemed to calm down and listened carefully.
"When I moved out from my old apartment, Clay bought
it back for me. 
And I was
thinking...."
Harm smiled, "That we could meet in there, because
there is a huge 
possibility that my
little sis will come to my apartment. And we don't
want to risk."
Mac laughed, "Exactly. But only if you agree."
"Absolutely," Harm laughed and they sealed their deal
with one 
passionate kiss.

1 MONTH LATER

Harm and Mac were already dating a month in Mac's old
apartment. They 
spent their
time together watching TV, kissing, making love or
just talking and 
laughing.

MCMURPHY'S, 30th MAY

The whole JAG met in McMurphy's. The were celebrating 
Harriet's twins. 
Mac was
watching this from safe distance. After some songs,
which Vanessa 
performed, Harm
walked on the platform.
"About 2 months ago, I met one wonderful woman. She
taught me how to 
live and love
again and I'm so grateful to her. I love you, Sam."
Mac smiled because she knew that 'Sam' was an anagram
made from her 
name *SA*rah
*M*ackenzie.
Harm began to sing 3 lovesongs:

"Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you, there's no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

On the morning sun in all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
And you fill my life with laughter
You can make it better
Ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine
Like the sun at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you, there's no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine
And it shines like a sun
At the end of the day we will give thanks
And pray to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you, there's no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

Take away my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles that's what you do
Fill my life with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do"

He ended the first song with a loud clapping from the
audience. A slow 
music of the next
song filled the room.

"The song of a little bird
The joy in three little words
I know it's real
That's how it feels
To be loved by you

The stars from the midnight sky
The melody form a lullaby
There's nothing real that I wouldn't steal
To be loved by you
To be loved by you

If everybody knows
It's only cause it shows

A smile to put you on a high
A kiss sets your soul alight
Would it be alright if I spent tonight
Being loved by you
Being loved by you

If everybody knows
It's only cause it shows

Your love is release
And you move me with ease
You rescue me time after time
Oh, oh you give your all
And you take it all in your stride
Oh the power of the symphony
That's how my heart beats
When you're holding me
I can't conceal
This is how it feel to be loved by you
Oh yeah, to be loved by you

If everybody knows
It's only cause it shows
Because I take your love
Everywhere I go

I know what it is I need
It's clear as a shallow stream
It's as it seems my only dreams
To be loved by you"

Harm finished, everybody clapping and whistling. The
music changed from 
slow to faster
and Harm sang with passion the next song:

"Baby when I think about you
I don't need to think 'cause I just know
That baby it's the way you love me
That makes me so damn sure that you're the one

Don't you know that I've waited for you
You are everything I've wanted all my life
Never thought I would find what I need
'Til you came along my dreams seemed far away

I could be with another girl
And I can take a trip all around the world
But why would I go anywhere when I've got you
I could spend my money on fancy clothes
Meet a thousand women doing videos and shows
But baby I'm so glad that I've got you

Maybe I just got lucky
'Cause a chance like this don't come along every day
And can we hold on to what we've got
If I ever lost you girl, my whole life would change

You should know that your life gives me strength
And without you I don't know where I would be
It's because of your soul I'm at ease
No matter where I am I'm not alone, eh

I could be with another girl
And I can take a trip all around the world
But why would I go anywhere when I've got you
I could spend my money on fancy clothes
Meet a thousand women doing videos and shows
But baby I'm so glad that I've got you

I could be with another girl
And I can take a trip all around the world
But why would I go anywhere when I've got you
I could spend my money on fancy clothes
Meet a thousand women doing videos and shows
But baby I'm so glad that I've got you

All that I have
Is nothing when it compares to you
And I can't believe
How your love makes me feel
I'm glad that I've got you
And girl you've got me too"

Harm stepped off the platform and was making his way
to 'Sam' when 
Vanessa stopped
him.
"So I guess I know now where have you been all these
nights. And you 
didn't bother to
tell me," she stated coldly.
"I wanted to surprise you."
"Surprise me? No Harm. I'm not surprised; I'm
disappointed. You love 
Mac more than
your own life, you were crying for her most of the
time, so why do you 
do this?"
"Van, Sarah told me to be happy. To find real love.
She'd want this for 
me."
"That's a crap Harm and you know it. And I won't
bother to discuss this 
with you
anymore," and with that she walked away.

Mac was waiting for him in his car.
"She hates me."
"Harm, Van doesn't hate you. She only don't know about
me yet. But when 
the right time
comes, we'll tell everyone. Don't worry."
Harm smiled and kissed her gently, "I love you
Marine."
"I love you too," she smiled back and they drove back
to Mac's old 
apartment.
The morning after, Mac woke up with a strange feeling
in her stomach. 
She got up and
raced to the bathroom.
Harm woke up when he heard the noises coming from the
bathroom, 
"Sweetheart are you
alright?" he called. No answer. He got up and went to
the bathroom.
"Sarah, what's wrong, are you sick?" he asked,
concerned.
"As you see I'm hugging the toilet. I think I have
some kind of flu. 
I'll go to doctor today.
And you have to go to work."
Harm checked his watch, "That's right. Please call me
when you'll get 
home from
doctor's, OK?"
"Alright."

HARM'S OFFICE, JAG HQ, 11:32

Harm's telephone rang. "Rabb."
"Harm, it's me, Mac."
"Sweetheart, are you alright?"
"Harm, could you please come over?"
"Yeah. I'm on the way."
Harm hung up and all the way to Mac's he was scared.
[Oh Sarah, what's 
wrong?]

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Be nice, please and give me tons of feedback. I'll be
good and post 
here the fifth chapter.

See Chapter One for Disclaimers.
HUGE THANKS goes to Valleri (valleri@goddess.com), my
proofreader! 
Thanks Vali, without your help, I'd be lost. You're
perfect!
I want to dedicate this story to my classmate Paul,
who doesn't even 
read fanfics or watch JAG. I just don't know how to
tell him that I love 
him.......

From the chapter 4:

HARM'S OFFICE, JAG HQ, 11:32

Harm's telephone rang. "Rabb."
"Harm, it's me, Mac."
"Sweetheart, are you alright?"
"Harm, could you please come over?"
"Yeah. I'm on the way."
Harm hung up and all the way to Mac's he was scared.
<Oh Sarah, what's 
wrong?>

MISERABLE SOULS (5/5)

Harm raced to Mac's old apartment. He ran to the
stairs and hurriedly 
opened the door. She was sitting on her sofa, reading
some book. She 
looked up at him and smiled.
"Sarah, what's wrong? I don't want to lose you again!
What did the 
doctor tell you?"
"Harm, firstly, stop babbling. I'm okay. In fact, I
feel better than 
ever."
Harm looked at her uncertainly. "But, but, what was
that this morning?"
"Just stress. Doctor told me that and gave me some
vitamins," she said 
never stopping to smile.
For the first time Harm noticed that book she was
reading, "What to 
expect when you're expecting." Harm's eyes popped out
of his head and Mac 
just smiled at him widely.
"You mean...? Oh...Gosh.... are you... are we... am I
....?" he 
babbled. Mac nodded. Harm hugged her with all he had.
"Oh God, sweetheart 
that's terrific! I love you sooo much!"
"I love you too Harm," she smiled again. With tears in
his eyes he  put 
his hand on her belly lovingly.
"And I love you too, baby," he whispered and kissed it
gently. Mac took 
his face in her hands and kissed him.

LATER

"I talked to Clay. He said that it's safe for me to
return. He'll come 
here around 1400 to discuss how we'll make it. Do you
agree?"
"Absolutely. I know we haven't talked about this but
as soon as you 
return properly....." he said pulling a small box from
his pants pocket. 
It was a velvet box shaped like a heart. Mac took it
into her trembling 
hands and opened the lovely box. Inside there was a
beautiful silver 
ring with a small red diamond shaped like a rose.
"Oh Harm! This ...this is so beautiful!" Mac cried.
"Will you make me the happiest man on the earth and
marry me?"
"Oh Gosh Harm! YES I'll marry you!" she cried again
and hugged him 
tightly.
Harm smiled his flyboy grin and kissed lovingly. "I
love you, Marine."
"I love you too, flyboy," she smiled and kissed him
again. They were 
interrupted by the knock on the door. Harm stood up
and opened the door.
"Clay, hi..."
"Hey, Harm. How are you?"
"Really great!"
Clay joined them in the living room, sitting down in
the armchair. Harm 
and Mac were cuddled together on the couch. They
talked about Sarah 
Mackenzie's return.
"Clay, we have something to tell you." Mac smiled.
"Go on, Mac."
"I'm pregnant." Harm and Mac smiled at each other,
then at Clay.
"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two!"
"Thanks Clay, but that's not everything." Harm said
smiling at his 
fiancé.
"I suppose that you're getting married," Clay said,
smiling at his 
friends' expressions.
"Hey, I've got eyes and I'm not blind. I can perfectly
see the ring. 
But congrats again. It's about time!"
They chatted back and forth for an hour, then Clay had
to go.

And now, their plan could begin.......

2 1/2 MONTHS LATER, JAG HQ, 8:05 (EST)

"Tiner, get Rabb in my office, ASAP!" AJ barked into
the phone.
"Yes, sir." He dialed the number to Harm's office. Two
minutes later, 
Harm knocked on Admiral's door.
"Enter," came the reply. "Sit down, Commander. I just
received this 
envelope."
"Something wrong, sir?" Harm asked.
"That's your wedding invitation! Explain yourself
ASAP!"
"Well... sir, you know I've been dating Sam for over
four months now. 
She taught me how to live and love again. After Mac's
death I promised 
myself I won't fall in love again. But it happened -
I'm so glad it did. 
She's a wonderful woman, I love her very much:"
"But, son," the Admiral softened. "Do you love Sam
more than Mac?"
Harm was surprised by this question, "I don't know
sir. Mac wanted me 
to remember the good times we shared and find the
right woman for me. 
When I remember that day when she died, I'm miserable.
But Sam helps me a 
lot. She's the right woman for me."
"Harm, you think you're going the right way?"
"I'm absolutely sure. And nobody can't stop me."
"Alright. I'm not mad at you, I just wanted to get
things straight. I 
want you to be happy."
"I am, sir. Very."
"I'm glad. Dismissed."
"Aye, aye sir."

HARM'S APARTMENT, LATER THAT DAY

"ARE YOU DENSE? You're involved with someone four
months and you 
already want to marry her!?!?" Vanessa shouted at him.
"I don't have to explain it to you. I love her with
all my heart and 
I'll marry her!"
"Fine! But don't expect that I'll be happy."
"Fine. I have to go. See ya," Harm closed the door.
"Yeah," Vanessa said sadly.

MAC'S OLD APARTMENT, 20 MINUTES LATER

Mac was laughing out loud on the floor, "He did that?"
"Oh yeah," Harm laughed along with her as well. "I had
to explain 
myself. I was trying hard not to laugh when he asked
me if I love Sam more 
than you."
Mac laughed again, "Harm... stop... I can't...,
hahahaha."
They calmed down as Mac said, "I can't imagine your
sister being happy 
about it."
"No, she's not. But she'll come to the wedding, don't
worry." He 
covered her growing belly with his hands and kissed
her gently.

THE WEDDING DAY

The wedding day was here. Everyone - Vanessa, AJ,
Harriet and Bud with 
their 3 children - AJ, Sarah and Matt - Gunny, Tiner,
Deanne, Mac's 
mother, Colonel Matthew O' Hara and Chloe, too.

"We still don't know why you invited us to your
wedding," Deanne said 
and Harm looked at Matthew O'Hara and Chloe shaking
their heads.
"You're my friends and the relatives of my dead best
friend. I just 
wanted you to be here with me." The threesome smiled
and went to church.
Harm was standing by the altar really nervous. This
will be the biggest 
surprise for their friends. He only hoped that
everything would work 
out.

The wedding march started and Harm's hands began to
shake. The whole 
church got up from their seats and turned their heads
towards the door. 
There was "Sam" - Sarah Mackenzie in all her beauty.
Her face was 
covered by a white veil, so nobody could see her. She
was so beautiful. 
Harriet and Vanessa gasped loudly when they recognized
that "Sam" was 
pregnant. Van looked at her brother but he just
shrugged, smiling widely. As 
soon as "Sam" was standing beside Harm, he turned to
her and picked up 
the veil, uncovering her face. The whole church gasped
as they 
recognized Lt. Colonel Sarah Catherine Mackenzie.
Clayton Webb on the opposite 
end of the church smiled.
Harm and Mac grinned widely at each other and the
ceremony began.

"Dearly beloved," the priest began, and Harm and Mac
turned towards 
him, "We've come together in the presence of God to
witness and bless the 
joining together of this man and this woman in holy
matrimony. God 
intends the union of husband and wife in heart, body
and mind for the 
mutual joy, for the health and comfort given one
another in prosperity and 
adversity. Into this holy union Sarah and Harmon have
now come to be 
joined," he continued. "And I ask again, that if any
among you can show 
just cause why they may not lawfully be married speak
now or forever hold 
your peace."
Nobody said a word - they all have been pretty
surprised and they 
wanted this as much as the couple in front of the
priest.
"Good. Shall we start?"

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Do you, Sarah 
Catherine Mackenzie, take this man Harmon David Rabb,
Junior, to be your 
lawfully wedded husband from this day forward, to have
and to hold, for 
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till
death do you part?"
"I do," Mac said confidently, smiling at Harm.

"Do you, Harmon David Rabb, Junior take this woman
Sarah Catherine 
Mackenzie to be your lawfully wedded wife from this
day forward, to have 
and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and
in health, till 
death do you part?"

"I do," Harm said smiling too.
They exchanged the rings. There was no dry eye left in
the whole 
church. Mac's cheeks were stained with happy tears.
"Bless oh Lord these rings to be a sign of the values
by which this man 
and this woman have bond themselves to each other,"
the priest spoke, 
his gaze wandering upwards towards the sky. "Now that
Harmon and Sarah 
have given themselves to each other by solemn vows
with the joining of 
hands and the giving and receiving of rings I
pronounce that they are 
husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," the
priest said smiling.
Harm took her in his arms and kissed his wife gently
and the crowd 
began to applaud and whistle.

"I love you, sailor," she whispered.
"I love you too, jarhead." Harm smiled. They linked
their arms and went 
in front of the church.

"Presenting to the public for the first time - Cmdr.
and Mrs. Harmon 
Rabb, Jr!" Gunny bellowed as the Arch of Steel was
formed and the bride 
and groom had appeared outside the doors of the
church. He lowered his 
sword and hit Mac's bottom. "Go Navy, Colonel."

Everyone rushed to the newlyweds and wanted to know
how's possible that 
Mac was alive and wanted to congratulate them at
first.
Admiral Chegwidden came to Mac, giving her a kiss on
the cheek., "Wow, 
that was something. Congratulations Mac. How did you
survive?"
"It's a long story Admiral." He smiled at her and
walked away.

"Brother, if you want me to faint again in the near
future, get me a 
chair, please. I thought... Gosh, I thought...."
Vanessa said with tears 
in her eyes and hugged her brother. "Congratulations
Harm. I love you, 
brother."
"I love you too, sis," he smiled at her.
She walked to Mac. "Gosh, how I missed you!!!" Van
exclaimed while 
hugging her.

"I know. I missed you too," she smiled softly at her.
"I can't express what I'm feeling right now."
"It's okay. We wanted to surprise everyone."

"That you did, believe me." Van smiled, wiping her
tears.
Bud and Harriet with their children went to Harm and
Mac too.
"Oh my gosh," Mac breathed as she saw the twins for
the first time. 
"They're so beautiful!"

"You want to hold little Sarah?" Harriet asked, tears
glowing in her 
eyes as well.
"Yes, please." Mac picked up the infant from Harriet's
arms. "Hey 
beautiful. How are you baby?"
Little Sarah laughed and everyone laughed with her
too. Harm knew what 
was Mac thinking. They were looking forward to their
own child.
"She likes you, ma'am." Bud announced.
"Mac, Bud. My name is Mac. I'm not in JAG anymore,
remember? And I like 
her very much too."
"Of course. Sorry ma...Mac."

"Don't worry, Mac, you'll be holding your child soon.
It's a matter of 
time." Harriet spoke and Mac looked at her surprised.
"Well, you know 
it's so obvious. Congratulations Mac, Harm."

"Thank you Harriet," Harm said, holding Matthew in his
arms.
They heard a lot of congratulations that day. Then
they drove to the 
restaurant where the wedding reception was held.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After throwing a bouquet of white roses (AN: BTW,
Vanessa caught it, 
slightly disappointed that she doesn't have a
boyfriend, although she was 
in love with her friend.... Whoops, sorry, this one is
totally me.) and 
the garter, which was caught by Admiral, Mac explained
how she wasn't 
really dead, the toast were made and the cake was cut.
It was Harm and 
Mac's turn to surprise their friends and families by
telling them that 
Mac is pregnant.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After the wedding reception, everybody went home and
Harm and Mac were 
prepared for their wedding night. They talked a bit
and then it seemed 
that all the world belong to them. Their lives had
just began.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"So, how do you find this story? It's a true story, my
brother is 
living happily now with Sarah Mackenzie-Rabb who's
expecting their second 
child, this time it's a boy. Their daughter Sarah
Vanessa Rabb-my niece, 
is sound asleep in my arms now-I think she was lulled
into the sleep by 
her parents' story. Their story of love and
happiness."

THE END