Name: Life Beyond JAG 



Author name: Christie Blotnicky (cblotnicky@yahoo.ca…
feedback is always welcomed and  



appreciated. Good or bad, it’s all good J) 



Rating: PG 13 



Spoilers: None  



Disclaimer: All normal disclaimers apply 



Darkness had just overtaken the busy Washington city.
In the midst of the hustle and bustle of people busily
trying to get home after a long day at work, there was
a girl. She wasn’t too tall, but wasn’t short either.
She had brown hair that reached down just below her
shoulders. She looked to be no more than 14 years old.
Her dark eyes scanned the area, looking for one
building in particular.  



Finally she spotted it. She ran across the street to
the large apartment building. Once there she scanned
the list of names of the people who lived inside.
Finally finding the correct name, she pressed the
button signaling the person inside that she was there.
 



“Commander Rabb,” Answered Harm. 



“Hey, Harm, can you buzz me in, it’s Ellison,’ She
said. 



“Ellie? What are you doing here?” He asked. 



“Listen, I’ll explain everything once I’m inside, but
at the present moment, there is a very creepy looking
man eyeing me, and he may jump me any minute, so if
you could…” She was about to go on, when the door
opened. 



“Come on up Ellie,” Harm said.  



Ellie happily complied and ran through the doors. She
was met at the stairs by Harm who pulled her into a
hug. 



“Come with me,” He said as they ended the hug. She
complied and followed him up the stairs to his
apartment. Once they were inside she set down the bags
she had been carrying and looked around, only to be
pulled out of her reverie by Harm’s voice. 



“Honey, what are you doing here, where are mom and
Pat?” Harm asked.  



Ellison’s breath caught in her throat at the
mentioning of their names. 



“Umm, that’s why im here. Mom and Pat were in a car
accident, they didn’t make it,” She said. Hot tears
stung her eyes but she fought them back. She never
showed emotion in front of people unless it was happy.
No one knew how saddened she was, and she was
determined to never let anyone ever know. 



“Oh, Ellie, I’m so sorry,” Harm said, engulfing her in
a hug. She put on a smile and laughed a little bit. 



“No, Harm. I’m the one who should be sorry. Mom and
Dad made you my legal guardian when I was born. So
you’re stuck with me. Umm, for the last few days’ I’ve
been stuck with people who take care of kids who lose
their parents, until their new guardians come to adopt
them. They said they would give you one more day, and
then I would be put in a foster home. So I came to
find you. I don’t want to go to a foster home,” Ellie
said. She fought back more tears. She was so afraid
Harm would send her away. 



“Well then, tomorrow, I’ll sign some paper’s or
whatever. As for tonight, let’s get you set up in the
guest room,” Harm said. He sensed that she really
didn’t want to talk about anything right now.  



“You have no idea how much this means to me. I’ve
really missed you Harm,” Ellie said. 



“I’m surprised you remember me, I haven’t seen you
since your seventh birthday,” Harm said, a little
disappointed in himself. 



“I could never forget you. Your my big brother,” She
said. She hugged him once again before following him
into the spare room.  



“Honey, I have a friend, she’s part of the big
sister’s group. The kid she hangs out with, Chloe, you
might like her, would you mind if I gave her a call?”
Harm asked. 



“You know what, I’m really tired, I think I’m just
going to go to bed. But thank you for asking,” Ellie
said. 



“No problem. Sweet dreams, kid,” Harm said. He began
to walk out but was stopped by Ellie’s voice. 



“Harm, Thank you for not making me leave,” She said. 



“Anytime Ellie,” With that Harm left the room. He went
to the phone and called Mac. It was the only thing he
could think to do. 



“Hello?” Said the voice on the other end. 



“Hey, Mac, it’s Harm,” Harm said. 



“Hey, what’s up?” She asked. 



“I just got some really bad news,” Harm said. His
voice cracked a little. It shocked him that his mother
and stepfather were dead, it had only just begun to
sink in. 



“What’s wrong?” Mac asked. 



“My mom and stepfather died in a car crash a few days
ago,” Harm said. 



“Oh, Harm, I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Mac asked. 




“Yeah, I think so. My sister has to stay with me now.
When she was born my parents made me her legal
guardian in case of their deaths. They didn’t tell
me,” Harm said. A single tear made it’s way down his
face, but he quickly fought back the tears, after
wiping away the lone one that fell. 



“Is she alright?” Mac asked. 



“She seems okay. But she is a Rabb,” Harm said. That
statement needed no explanation. 



Mac had seen Harm hurting before, but only once had
she seen him cry, when Bud was saved after having his
leg blown off. Other than that, she had only seen him
gloomy, and sad. 



“I can try to talk to her after I meet her,” Mac said.




“I thought she could talk to Chloe, they are close to
the same age, and I think it might help to talk to
someone her age,” Harm said. 



“Okay, well next time I see Chloe I’ll try to bring
her over,” Mac said. 



“Thank you Sarah,” Harm said. 



“So were going by my first name now?” Mac asked,
trying to lighten the mood. 



“Will you come over for dinner tomorrow, you can meet
Ellie then,” Harm asked, ignoring Mac’s attempt at
humor. 



“Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow Harm, I’m really sorry
about your parents,” Mac said. 



“Thanks again Mac, Goodnight,” Harm said. He was about
to hang up when he heard Mac say something else. 



“You get a good night’s sleep. And make sure you check
on Ellie,” Mac said. 



“Will do, bye,” Harm said. 



“Bye Harm,” Mac hung up the phone. 



Once Harm hung up the phone he decided to go to bed.
It had been a long, eventful night. On his way he
checked in on Ellie. She looked to be sound asleep.
Satisfied that she was okay, Harm went to bed. 



An hour later Harm was awakened by Ellie. 



“Harm, can I stay in here for a little while?” She
asked. 



“Sure honey, you okay?” He asked. He moved over to
allow her room in the bed. She crawled in. 



“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep, I’m fine,” She said.  



“Okay, goodnight,” Harm said. He closed his eyes. 



Ellie rolled over so her back was to Harm. She tried
to sleep but couldn’t.  



Harm could here light sobs beside him, he sat up and
place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 



“Do you want to talk?” Harm asked. 



“No, I’m fine,” She said. Attempting to keep her voice
from cracking. 



“Why are you crying?” He asked. 



“I’m not,” She lied. 



“Ellie, you can tell me what’s wrong. 



“I just miss mom, that’s all,” More tear’s welled in
her eyes. She tried to fight back the sobs, to no
avail. Harm took her in his arms and held her while
she cried.  



They stayed like that until Ellie fell asleep. Harm
laid her head on a pillow and looked at the clock. It
said 5:17 am. 



Deciding it would be pointless to try to sleep now, he
made his way into the kitchen and poured himself some
coffee, and ate some breakfast. He then hopped in the
shower, hoping the steaming water would sooth his
muscles. 



Today would be a long day. 



“Harm, Mac, have a seat,” said Admiral Chegwidden the
next morning. The two officers sat in the seats
opposite him at his desk. 



“I have a case for the both of you. About a week ago
in Florida a man and woman were run off of the road.
The police say a Navy officer was responsible for it.
Commander Louis Hall has been charged with the murder
of these two. They asked us to take care of it. Now,
the reason I want you both is the daughter of the
deceased has gone missing,” He handed them both files.
 



“Harm, your job is to defend the Commander, Mac, you
have to find this girl. Her name is Ellison Bradley,” 



“Sir, what are the names of the deceased?” Harm asked.




“Trish, and Patrick Bradley,” The color drained from
Harm’s face. 



“Sir I can’t work on this case, and neither can Mac,”
Harm said. 



“Excuse me Commander?” The Admiral asked. 



“Sir, the deceased are Harm’s mother and stepfather.
And the missing girl is his sister,” Mac said. 



“Ellie ran away form the child care people and showed
up at my doorstep last night,” Harm further explained.
A look of understanding spread across A.J’s face. 



“I see. You will have to return Ellison to the proper
authorities Harm,” A.J said. 



“Umm, actually, I’m going to adopt her so she can stay
with me sir,” Harm said. 



“Until the adoption goes through, she isn’t aloud to
remain in your care Harm.” 



“Sir my parents made me her legal guardian when she
was born,” Harm said. 



“Look Rabb, I understand that this must be hard for
you and her, but we have to abide by the law’s of our
country. You have to return her to where she came from
until everything has been worked out,” The Admiral
explained. 



“Understood sir,” Harm said as he and Mad stood. The
Admiral did the same.  



“Dismissed, and Harm, I’m sorry about your mother,”
A.J added. 



“Thank you Admiral,” Harm said. He and Mac left the
room and walked out into the bullpen.  



Harm walked into his office and was just about to sit
down when Tiner walked in. 



“Sir there’s a young woman asking to see you,” He
said. 



“Any idea who it is Tiner?” Harm asked. 



“A miss Ellison Bradley sir.” 



“Send her in,” Harm said. Tiner said a quick “yes sir”
before leaving. A few seconds later Ellison walked in.




“Hey Harm,” She said as she walked in. She sat down at
the chair in front of Harm’s desk. 



“Hey, is everything alright?’ He asked. 



“Uh, I just thought I would come down to see where you
work, and hang out,” She said. Just after she finished
saying that Mac entered the room. 



“Hey, who is this?” She asked as she walked to the
side of Harm’s desk. 



“This is Ellie. Ellie, this is my friend Sarah
Mackenzie,” Harm introduced them to each other. 



“Hey,” Ellie extended her hand and shook Macs. 



“Hi, how are you?” Mac asked, a little unsure of what
to say. 



“Im okay, you?”  



“Same. So, how have you liked Washington so far?” Mac
asked. 



“It’s freezing up here, but the people are nice,” She
responded. Harm decided it was time to end the
uncomfortable part of the conversation. 



“Ellie, Mac and I were going to go out to lunch, do
you want to come with us?” Harm asked. 



“Who’s Mac?” She asked.  



“I am,” said Mac. 



“I thought you said your name was Sarah,” Ellie said
quizzically. 



“It is, people call me Mac because my last name is
Mackenzie,” Mac explained. 



“Why?” Ellie pressed on. 



“Well,” Mac though for a moment, “I’m not sure. Why do
people call me Mac Harm?” 



“I don’t know, I guess someone made it up and it just
stuck, anyways, would you like to come with us Ellie?
There is something we need to talk about,” Harm said. 



“Sure,” She answered. 



“Good, let’s go, I’m starving,” Mac said. 



“What else is new?” Harm asked sarcastically. Mac
ignored him and just turned on her heel and walked out
of the office, followed by Ellie and Harm. 



“…So Chloe went out with him, and when she came back
she looked as though she had fallen in a puddle of
mud. He took her to a skate park and tried to teach
her how to skateboard. Needless to say it didn’t work
out very well between the two of them,” Mac said. She
laughed a little before taking another bite of her
hamburger. 



“So when do I get to meet Chloe, she sounds nice?”
Ellie asked. 



“How about I bring her over next time I see her?” Mac
asked. 



“That would be great, I can’t wait,” Ellie said. She
glanced at her watch. 



“Oh, I have to go, there’s a movie coming on
television that I wanted to watch. Ill see you later
Harm,” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “ Nice
meeting you Mac,” She said. With that she walked away.




“She seems nice,” Mac said to Harm. 



“She’s great,” Harm said. 



“You’ve been awfully quiet, what’s wrong?” Mac asked. 



“Nothing, I’m just a little sad about having to send
her away until the adoption goes through. You should
have seen how scared she was last night when she
thought she might have to go to a foster home,” Harm
said. 



“Are you worried about the adoption not going
through?” Mac asked. 



“No, legally I’m obligated to provide for her now. I’m
just worried that she will think I’m sending her away
for good,” Harm explained. 



“Don’t worry Harm, she seems like a smart girl, I’m
sure she’ll understand,” Mac said. 



“I’m not so sure. I mean, without warning she just
lost her entire family except for me in one sweep.
What if she thinks I don’t want her?” Harm asked. He
looked off into the horizon. Mac put her hand on his. 



“Harm, it’s going to be okay, you’ll both get through
this. Don’t worry about her, she’s going to be fine,”
She said. Harm put his other hand on top of hers. 



“Thank you Sarah,” He offered her a sad smile. 



“Anytime sailor.” 



Harm got home around 5 that evening. When he walked in
he found Ellie asleep on the couch with a book in her
hands. He opted not to wake her up right away; he just
took the book from her grasp and put on the table. He
decided he would make dinner so it would be ready when
she woke up. 



Half an hour later the aroma of potato’s and chicken
roused Ellie. She said up to see Harm in the kitchen
putting food onto plates for the two of them.  



“Hey, how long have you been home?” She asked
groggily. 



“About half an hour, I didn’t want to wake you up,”
Harm said. 



“Thanks, I didn’t sleep very well last night,” She
stood up from the couch and walked over to the
kitchen. 



“Dinner smells great,” She commented.

 

”Thanks, umm, there is something we need to talk
about,” Harm said nervously. Ellie picked up a plate
and walked over the table 



“Well then come sit down here and we’ll talk,” She
said. Se noticed his discomfort. 



“What’s wrong?” She asked once he had sat down. 



“I got an order form the Admiral to take you back to
Florida until the adoption goes through,” Harm said.
He decided to skip any long explanation and just tell
her what he needed to. 



“Oh, well I guess you better then,” She said. She felt
a growing lump in her throat, but tried not to sound
too disappointed. 



“The adoption will go through Ellie, your only going
to be there for a little while,” Harm said. She
smiled. 



“I know, don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine,” She
said. She was trying to convince herself of it more
than Harm. 



“Good. I’m sorry you have to go back at all, but I’m
glad you understand,” Harm said. He seemed to be more
relaxed now. He began eating his dinner again, and
Ellie did the same, her attention though, was on the
prospect of having to go back to Florida. 



Around 10 o’clock Harm and Ellie decided to go to bed.
Once Ellie was satisfied that Harm was asleep she
packed up a few clothes and quietly left the
apartment. 



Hearing the knock at her door Mac got up from bed and
made her way to the door, silently cursing whoever was
calling at this time of night. She opened the door to
a very distraught looking Ellie. She quickly ushered
her in. 



“What’s wrong Ellie?” She asked. 



“I couldn’t stay there with Harm, he wants to send me
back to Florida,” Ellie said. Tears threatened to fall
from her eyes but she fought them back. It was clear
to Mac that she had been crying though. 



“Honey, does Harm know you’re here?” Mac asked. Ellie
just shook her head. 



“Listen, I have to call Harm. You stay right here, I
want to talk to you,” Mac said. 



About 5 minutes later she came back into the room
Ellie was in and sat next to her on the couch. 



“Harm’s on his way,” Mac said. 



“Why did you have to call him?” Ellie asked. 



“Because if he woke up and you weren’t there he would
be worried sick. Listen to me, he doesn’t want to send
you back to Florida, but he has to. You wont be there
for a long time, only until he can make it legal for
you to be in his care, do you understand that?” Mac
asked. 



“Yes, but…” Ellie began. 



“No buts Ellie. Harm wants you to stay here as much as
you want to, but you can’ t right now. If he got
caught with you he could get in a lot of trouble, and
you would definitely be sent to a foster home, for a
long time. I want you to truly understand that if Harm
could keep you here for now and forever he would, but
he can’t,” Mac said.  



“I understand Mac. I’m sorry I didn’t before,” Ellie
said quietly.  



“Look, sweetheart I am so sorry that any of this is
happening, and Harm is trying really hard to keep you
happy. Please don’t ever run away from him again,” Mac
said. 



“I wont, I promise,” Ellie smiled a little. Mac gave
her a hug just before being interrupted by the door. 



“You ready to go home?” Mac asked. 



“Yeah, thank you Mac,” She said. Mac answered the door
and Harm took Ellie back to the apartment. After
sending her back to bed he made sure she was asleep
before finally going back to bed.  



They were both going to need a lot of energy for the
next day. Ellie was going back to Florida. 

 

 



The morning sunlight crept through the Phoenician
blinds in Ellison’s bedroom. She turned over so she
was lying on her stomach and put her pillow over her
head. She hoped if she didn’t see the light of day it
wouldn’t really be there. She was brought out of that
idea by Harm lifting the pillow off of her. 



“Hey, time to get up,” He said. She turned onto her
back and opened her eyes slightly. 



“Do I have to go back today?” She asked. 



“I’m afraid so,” He said. He sighed slightly, but
tried not to make his sadness evident in his voice. 



“I was afraid of that,” She sat up and swung her legs
over the side of the bed. 



“Honey, I’m sorry, I want you to stay here, you know
that right?” Harm asked. 



“Yeah, I know, and I’m really sorry about what I did
last night, it was stupid,” Ellie said. 



“It’s okay, what’s important is that your back now,
and your alright. Come on, get dressed and well get
some breakfast on the way to the airport,” He said,
leaving the room. 



Ellie quickly dressed, but couldn’t ignore the
lightheadedness she felt. She hoped nothing would
happen before she got to Florida. She regretted not
telling Harm about her “condition”, but she couldn’t
stand to see his face when he found out. She shook her
head slightly to try to get rid of the nausea she felt
before heading out into the living room. 



An hour later Harm and Ellie were in the airport
waiting for the plane to arrive. Ellie had gone to the
bathroom a few minutes earlier and still hadn’t
returned. Getting a little worried Harm stood and made
his way to the door. He caught a woman’s attention. 



“Excuse me, ma’am, could you go in there and see if a
girl is still there? She has shoulder length brown
hair and is about 5’7,” He asked. 



“Sure,” she said. She walked into the bathroom and ran
out a moment later looking very pale.  



“I don’t know if she’s the same girl, but there is a
young girl passed out on the floor,” She said
worriedly. Harm’s eyes widened and he ran into the
bathroom. When he was inside he saw a very pale
Ellison lying on the cold tile floor. Her hair was
sprawled out in all directions, and she was lying on
her back. Harm ran to her side and checked her pulse. 




The woman had run in behind him. 



“Go call an ambulance,” Harm ordered. The woman didn’t
hesitate before running out of the bathroom. Harm
picked up Ellie and carried her out of the bathroom
and laid her across the seats in the waiting area. 



About ten minutes later two paramedics and a police
officer came into the airport carrying a gurney. They
ran over to Ellie and put her on it. Two of them raced
off with her while the officer one stayed with Harm. 



“What happened to her sir?” The officer asked. 



“I don’t know she went to the bathroom, and didn’t
come back for a while, I got worried and went to check
on her. I asked a woman to go in a check on her, and
she ran out and told me that Ellie was passed out. I
ran in and she was lying on the floor. I checked her
pulse and brought her out here while the woman went
and called you guys,” Harm said. 



“Do you know of any illnesses she may have?” He asked.




“No, she didn’t say anything about being sick,” Harm
answered. 



“Was there any blood, or pills, or sign of struggle?” 



“No, none, can I go to the hospital now?”  



“Just a few more questions, how do you know her?” He
asked. 



“She’s my sister,” Harm said. 



“Has she had lack of sleep, or any traumatic
experiences in the last few days?” Harm hesitated.  



“Our umm. Our parents died in a car crash,” Harm said.




“Okay, I think we’ve learned enough about the
situation. Do you need a drive to the hospital?” 



“No, I’ve got a car,” Harm said. He ran out of the
airport to his car. He then drove to the hospital. 



When he arrived he ran to the front nurses station and
addressed the nurse who was there. 



“Ellison Bradley,” he said. The nurse sifted through
some papers. 



“Are you a relative?” She asked. 



“Yes im her brother,” He said. 



“She’s been placed in the children’s cancer ward, it’s
just down the hall, fourth door on your right,” She
said. 



“Cancer ward?” Harm asked. 



“Yes sir, is there anything else I can do for you?”  



“No, thank you,” Harm said as he made his way
following her directions. 



He entered the specified room and sat next to
Ellison’s bed on a chair. He took her hand in his. The
movement roused her.  



“Harm,” She said in a weak voice. 



“Hey,” He said in a whisper. 



“What happened?” She asked. 



“You passed out,” He answered her. 



“Well, that’s not fun,” She said with a weak laugh.
Harm couldn’t bring himself to share in her humor. 



“Why didn’t you tell me you had cancer?” Harm asked.
He tried to fight back the tears that threatened to
fall. 



“I guess this wasn’t the best way for you to find out,
huh,” Ellie said. Her voice cracked. 



“How long have you been sick?” 



“A few years. I didn’t want to tell you because I
didn’t want you to worry. Please don’t worry about me
Harm. It really isn’t all that bad, I just need to
come for chemo every few days,” She said. 



She tried to smile but it was immediately replace by a
look of pain on her face from the pain that suddenly
surged through her stomach. She gripped Harm’s hand
tighter. 



“It hurts a lot when that happens,” She said. Harm
bowed his head. He couldn’t stand to see her in pain. 



“How bad is it,” He asked, his voice cracking. 



“It’s bad,” she admitted. “ They said I wouldn’t
survive last summer. But I’m still here, so I guess
there’s still hope,” She smiled weakly. Harm couldn’t
hold the tears in. a few fell down his face. 



“Hey, don’t cry. If you do I will and that wouldn’t be
fun.” She reached up and wiped the tears from him
face. 



“Why does all of this have to happen to you?” Harm
asked. 



“It has to happen to somebody. I would rather it be me
than someone else,” She said. Her eyes began to droop.




“I am so exhausted, it must be the drugs they gave
me,” she said, letting her eyes close. 



“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Harm
said. He felt her hand go limp against his as she
drifted off to sleep. He pulled his hand away and let
more tears flow.  



About half an hour later Harm couldn’t take just
sitting there anymore. It occurred to him that he had
only taken half of the day off at JAG. He decided to
call the office to tell them he wouldn’t be in. 



“JAG headquarters, Lieutenant Simms here,” Harriet
answered. 



“Harriet, it’s Harm.” 



“Commander, where are you the Admiral is totally
pissed. Well, he’s very angry sir,” Harriet said. 



“Look, Harriet, I need to talk to Mac, is she in?”
Harm asked. 



“Yes sir, I’ll patch you through to her office,”
Harriet said. She walked through the bullpen to Mac’s
office. 



“Ma’am, Commander Rabb is on line two for you,” She
said. 



“Thank you Lieutenant,” Mac said picking up the phone.




“Harm?” She said. 



“Hey, Mac, I need you to do me a few favors,” Harm
said. 



“Where the hell are you Harm, you missed the briefing,
Chegwidden is extremely angry,” She said. 



“Ellie passed out in the airport and she had to go to
the hospital so that’s where I am now. I need you to
tell the Admiral where I am, then do you think you
could come down here?” Harm asked. 



“Sure Harm, is Ellie okay?” Mac asked, the worry
evident in her voice. 



“No, look I’ll explain it all to you when you get
here. Talk to you later,” Harm said. 



“Bye, Harm,” Mac said before hanging up. She
immediately stood up and walked to the Admiral’s
office. 



“Tiner, is the Admiral free?” Mac asked the Petty
Officer. 



“Yes ma’am, just wait a moment,” He walked to the
Admiral’s office. 



“Enter,” said the Admiral, answering the knock on the
door. 



“Sir, Colonel Mackenzie would like to see you,” Tiner
said. 



“Of course, send her in,” He said.  



“Sir,” Mac addressed as she sat in the seat across
form the admiral. 



“What is it Mac,” He asked. 



“Harm called me. He’s at the hospital with Ellie, she
passed out at the airport,” Mac said. 



“I understand. Is that all Colonel?” he asked. He
didn’t like to “medal in the personal lives of his
staff”, but still couldn’t help but worry about
Ellison. He decided not to ask about her though. 



“Well sir, I was hoping you would let me take the rest
of the day off to go to the hospital with Harm. He
asked me to come,” Mac asked. 



“Permission granted, dismissed,” He said. 



“Thank you sir,” Mac said. She offered him a quick
salute before leaving the room. 



Half an hour later Mac entered the hospital. 



“Ellison Bradley please,” She said to the nurse at the
station. 



“Down the hall, fourth room on the.” The nurse began,
but was cut off. 



“Sarah,” Harm said. Mac said a quick thank you to the
nurse and went with Harm. 



“Is she doing any better?” Mac asked. 



“It’s not a matter of doing better Mac. She has
cancer. She hasn’t had any of her med’s, or treatments
in over a week,” Harm said. 



“Oh my god, did you even know she was sick?” Mac
asked. 



“No, she never let on about it at all,” Harm said. His
voice caught in his throat and tears swelled in his
eyes. Just thinking about it was difficult. 



“It’s so unfair Mac. She is only a fourteen-year-old
kid. She shouldn’t have to suffer through cancer, or
losing her parents. In the past week, she’s had to do
both,” Harm said. Tears mad there way down his face,
Mac reached up and wiped them away, then pulled him
into a tight hug. 



“It’ll be ok Harm. She doesn’t have to do it alone.
She has you, and me. You have me,” Mac said. Harm put
his arms around her tighter. 



“Please don’t ever leave me Sarah,” Harm said. Mac
knew now he wasn’t talking about their friendship. 



“I’ll never leave you Harm,” She pulled away, and took
his hands in hers. “I love you,” She finished. She
gazed into the watery pools of his deep blue eyes.
Harm leaned down and kissed her softly, and pulled her
into another hug before responding. 



“I love you so much Sarah,” He said. She let out a
breath and sank into his embrace. 



“Harm?” Mac asked. “Let’s go see your sister,” She
finished. They pulled out of the hug and Harm kissed
her once more. This time a little more passionately.
Then the two walked, hand in hand through the hallway,
the rest of the way to Ellie’s room. 



The following week passed slowly with frequent visits
from various JAG staff, and from the child welfare
service of Florida. Harm convinced them to let Ellison
remain in his care, and with much complaining from the
representative, he was granted custody. Mac had come
to the hospital after work each day to be with Harm
and Ellie. Since the day at the airport, Harm had only
gone home to shower and change clothes. He had spent
the nights in the hospital. 



“Harm, you can go home and sleep in your own bed
tonight. I promise not to run away or die when your
not here,” Ellie said. She had been feeling a bit
better that day, but the doctors were worried about
her because she had gone so long without her medicine.




“Don’t be morbid,” Harm said. Ellie laughed.  



“Just go home, Commander. Don’t make me make it an
order,” Ellie said. She laughed as Harm poked her
side, which was her most ticklish spot. 



“Of course not, ma’am,” Harm said. “I’ll be back
tomorrow morning, don’t you die on me,” He said. 



“Now who’s being morbid?” She said with a laugh. Harm
stood up and left after giving her a kiss.  



He and Mac decided to eat in his apartment. For the
first time in a week Harm wasn’t eating in the
hospital cafeteria.  



“This is really good. For a man who can actually stand
to eat a corn dog, I must say you’re a great cook,”
Mac said, taking another bite of Harm’s stir-fry. 



“I am multi-talented,” Harm said. 



“Well, don’t let it go to your head flyboy,” Mac said.
She stood up and grabbed his hands and pulled him over
to the couch. He leaned in and kissed her softly,
before deepening the kiss. Just then the telephone
rang. Harm and Mac pulled away. 



“Figures,” Harm said, sighing loudly. 



“Just answer the phone squid,” Mac said. She laughed
lightly. 



“Rabb,” Harm said when he picked up the phone. 



“Commander Rabb, this is Bethesda hospital calling.
I’m afraid Ellison is very sick. She’s dying. Her
doctors don’t expect her to make is through the night.
She’s asking for you,” said the nurse. Harm’s eyes
widened. 



“Ill be right there,” He said. He hung up the phone
and looked at Mac.

“Harm, what’s wrong?” She asked. She could tell by the
look on his face something was terribly wrong. 



“Ellie is dying,” He said. Mac took a second to
process it before running after him and jumping in his
car with him.  



The arrived at the hospital about fifteen minutes
later.  



Harm ran to the room she was in but found it empty. He
ran to the Nurses station. 



“Where is Ellison?” He demanded. 



“She’s been moved to the intensive care unit. On the
fourth floor, room number 204,” Said the nurse,
obviously jolted by Harm’s demanding voice. 



Harm and Mac ran up the stairs instead of waiting for
an elevator. When they got to the room Harm looked
inside and saw Ellie attached to a life support
machine. He opened the door slowly and walked in. Mac
decided to wait outside, and give the some privacy.
She let tears role down her face. 



“Ellie?” Harm asked. He took her hand. She blinked her
eyes open. 



“It wont be long now,” She said in a low whisper. 



“Yes it will Ellie, your going pull through,” Harm
said. Fighting the tears away. He took Ellie’s hand in
his. 



“Harm, you don’t have to protect me. I know what’s
happening. I’m to tired to fight anymore,” She said. 



“No, Ellie, you’re not. Please don’t give up,” Harm
said. He let the tears run down his face. 



“I want to be with mom.” She stopped and swallowed
hard. “ Mom and dad. They’re waiting for me up there,”
She smiled weakly. 



“Your not going to die Ellie, not for a long time,”
Harm said. 



“It’s. Slipping. It’s getting dim,” Ellie said. She
slurred her words slightly. 



“No Ellie, you have to keep fighting.” 



“I love you Harm,” She said. 



“I love you too Ellie, but your going to tell me that
a lot more in your life,” Harm said. He refused to
accept it. 



“Harm,” She said. She couldn’t die until she said
everything she needed to. Then she could die happy. 



“Don’t wait too long to marry Sarah, I’ll be watching
you with Mom and Dad,” She said. Her words were less
coherent now, but Harm knew what she was saying. 



“ I wont, I promise,” He said. She gripped his hand. 



“Im ready to go now. I’ll hold onto your hand until I
cant any more, then you’ll know I’m gone,” Ellie said
in whisper. She smiled with her last ounce of
strength. 



“Goodbye, Harm,” She said. She closed her eyes and
took in a few more labored breaths, and then she just
stopped breathing altogether. A second later the
beeping from the life support monitor turned to a
steady wale, and he hand went limp in Harm’s.  



“Goodbye Ellie,” He said softly. 



Harm couldn’t contain the sobs that crept out. He
kissed her cold hand and laid it on the bed. He leaned
over and kissed her cheek, and laid his head on her
chest, and cried. 



Mac watched from outside. She too cried. Tears
streamed down her face. She waited a moment before
walking in the room and sitting on a chair beside
Harm’s. 



“I’m so sorry Harm,” She said through her tears. He
couldn’t make himself talk. He just felt comforted by
her hand on his back, and by the sound of her voice. 



Mac rested her head on his shoulder once Ellie’s body
had been taken away. They were in the waiting room.
The Admiral, Bud, Harriet, and Sturgis all made there
way over to them. They had decided to come, and see if
there was anything they could do. 



“Harm,” Harriet said, sitting next to him. 



“Hey,” He said quietly. Harriet knew it was over. She
had gone through it once before with her baby Sarah.  



Bud, Sturgis and A.J all lowered their heads. Harriet
put hers on Harm’s shoulder and cried.  



The six of them stayed there for about half an hour
before everyone decided to leave. Most of them left
because hospitals “gave them the creeps”, some of them
left just because they couldn’t stand to be there
anymore.  



Harm and Mac were the last to leave. They went back to
Harm’s apartment. After about half an hour of silence
Harm finally spoke. 



“You know, she asked me to marry you. She said to do
it sooner than later. I didn’t know what to say at the
time, but now, it seems like a waste if I don’t,” Harm
said. 



“Yes it does. A lot has been wasted today,” Mac said. 



“Thank you for coming with me.” 



“Anytime, squid.” Harm rested his forehead against
Mac’s. 



“Anytime,” She repeated. More tears came to her eyes.
She rested her head against Harm’s chest and cried.
They stayed together, and never wanted to be apart
again. 

 



Weeks had passed since Ellie’s death. They came with
the constant reminders of what had happened. Each
night Harm replayed Ellie’s death in his mind. He was
tortured by everything about that night.  



The only person who had seen him since Ellison’s death
was Mac. He had locked himself in his apartment for
weeks. Mac worried about him. He had changed since
that night. He kept to himself, and zoned out quite
often. 



“Harm, you have got to get out of here. It’s been
three weeks and you haven’t been anywhere,” Mac said.
She and Harm were in his apartment eating dinner. 



“I’m fine,” was all he said. 



“No Harm, you’re not. I’m worried about you,” Mac
said. 



“Don’t worry, I’ll be alright.” 



“No you wont be Harm. Don’t you get it? You’re
isolating yourself from the world, from your friends,
from everything. It’s not fair to you, or anyone
else,” Mac said. She was trying desperately to get him
to understand. 



“You know what isn’t fair Mac? It isn’t fair that a
fourteen-year-old kid had to lose her parents, and
then die herself. It’s not fair that I was left
without any family. And it’s not fucking fair that
some Navy bastard killed my Mother and Stepfather.
Life isn’t fair Mac, not for me, and not for anyone
else,” Harm yelled. He couldn’t control himself. After
weeks of bottling up everything he exploded. 



“No, Harm, it isn’t fair. But there is nothing we can
do about it. You have to move on and get over it. You
need to stop thinking about yourself and think about
other people for a minute. I’ll see you tomorrow,”
With that Mac left Harms apartment. 



Harm watched her leave. His heart sunk.  



“I can’t do this anymore,” He said aloud to himself.
He walked to his medicine cabinet and pulled out a
bottle of Excedrin and got out a bottle of wine. He
sunk to the floor and took the drugs, and drank the
wine. 5 minutes later he passed out.  



Mac realized she forgot her purse once she had made it
to her car. She sighed loudly and ran back into the
building and up to Harm’s apartment. She knocked on
the door. No one answered. She tried again, but again
it remained closed. She turned the knob, pleased to
find it unlocked. When she went in she grabbed her
purse, and just as she was about to leave she saw
Harm. In his hand he clutched a bottle of wine, and on
the counter was an empty medicine bottle. He had
passed out. 



“Oh my god. Harm,” She said. She ran to his side and
tried to wake him to no avail. She ran to the phone
and called 911, then back to his side. 



“Harm, wake up. Please wake up Harm,” Mac said. Tears
filled her eyes. She felt helpless.  



An hour later Mac was in the hospital waiting room.
The doctors had taken him into an operating room and
pumped his stomach. He had stopped breathing three
times, but was revived each time.  



At the present time Mac was pacing in front of the
door when a doctor came out. 



“Colonel Mackenzie?” She asked. 



“Yes, is Harm alright,” Mac, asked. 



“Ma’am, the commander overdosed on Excedrin, we pumped
his stomach, which is about all we can do. I don’t
know if he’s going to make it,” Said the doctor. 



“What the hell do you mean you don’t think he’s going
to make it?” Mac yelled. 



“Ma’am, the commander is very sick. I’ll be surprised
if he survived through the night. Were moving him to
intensive care. Room 274, you can see him in a few
minutes,” With that the doctor walked away.  



Mac ran through the hallways to the specified room.
When she got there she saw Harm being placed in a bed.
He was attached to more wires than she’d ever seen in
a person at one time. Her breath caught in her throat
as she entered the room. She sat beside Harm and took
his hand in hers. 



“Why did you do this Harm?” She asked his lifeless
form. 



Hours passed, nurses came in and out of the room,
checking to make sure Harm was still alive. Now it was
just Mac and Harm. Mac was lying beside Harm on the
bed. She had fallen asleep beside him about half an
hour before. She woke up and got off the bed. She sat
back in the chair and again took his hand. She closed
her eyes and rested her head against the back of the
chair. 



“Mac,” Harm said in weak voice. Mac’s eyes shot open
and she looked at him. She leaned on her elbows, which
she rested on the bed, and put both of her hands
around Harm’s. 



“Hey,” She said.  



“I’m so sorry,” He said softly. 



“You should be, squid,” Mac said. She tried to smile
but it failed. 



“Why did you take that medicine?” She asked. She
couldn’t hold in the question.  



“I was afraid that I lost you. I can’t live without
you,” Harm said. 



“Well, what makes you think that I could live without
you Harm? You almost took away from me the thing I
love the most,” Mac said. Tears filled her eyes and
she tightened her grip on his hand.  



“I never want to hurt you Mac, please forgive me,” He
said. Tears filled his eyes also. 



“Your forgiven, but for your punishment you have to
drink charcoal for the next few days. They had to pump
your stomach because you OD’d,” Mac said. 



“I would rather eat charcoal for the rest of my life
than lose you,” Harm said. 



“Don’t speak to fast flyboy, I’m not worth that kind
of torture,” She smiled slightly. 



“Your worth everything Sarah,” Harm said sincerely.
Mac leaned down and kissed his cheek. 



“You better not pull a stunt like that again,” Mac
said. 



“Yes ma’am,” Harm said with a weak smile. 



“You really suck you know that?” She said with a
laugh. Harm returned the laugh. 



“I know, but you love me anyways,” Harm said. 



“Yeah, I suck too,” Mac, said.  



“So what’s my diagnosis Dr. Mac?” Harm asked. 



“You’re supposed to be dead Commander Rabb,” Mac said.




“Sorry to disappoint you,” Harm said. 



“I’m sure you’ll make it up to me when you get out of
here,” Mac said. She couldn’t hide the innuendo. 



“Yes ma’am,” He said.  



“You should get some rest. I want you out of here
ASAP,” Mac said. 



“I’ll try my best,” Harm said. Mac kissed him softly
and he drifted back off to sleep, leaving Mac feeling
much less helpless as she did before. 



Epilogue 

 



2130 ZULU

July 30, 2003

Mac’s Apartment 



“Bugme or Rabb, who was ‘the best’” Meredith asked.
Harriet, Mac, Bobbi, and Jennifer Coates were all
sitting in Mac’s living room, at her surprise-wedding
shower. 



“The best what?” Mac asked, feigning naiveté. 



“Oh, come on Mac, you know, ‘the best’. Come on, who’s
the real tomcat when it comes to sex?” Bobbi asked.
Mac gasped theoretically. It had been four months
since Harm’s attempted suicide, and almost five months
since Ellison’s death. Harm had proposed to Mac about
a month before. 



“Ooh, that’s a tough one,” Mac said. Harriet glared at
her. 



“I’m sure your having the most horrible time trying to
figure out the answer, too,” She said sarcastically. 



“Harm is so, so, so much better than Mic was.
Seriously, Harm can keep it going for at least half an
hour before even getting tired. Mic lasted about five
minutes,” She said with a laugh. 



“Really, maybe I should have held on to him when I had
the chance,” Bobbi said with a laugh.  



“So Mac, where’s the craziest place you two have ever
‘done’ it,” Jennifer Coates asked with a laugh. 



“Can I refuse to answer anything without a lawyer
present?” Mac asked with a laugh. 



“You are a lawyer, now answer,” Meredith said. 



“Fine, but I want the answers of every one these
questions from all of you and your significant others.
Okay, Harm and I did it on the admiral’s porch once,”
Mac said. She received shocked looks from all of the
other girls in the room. 



“Okay, well, I’ll go next, A.J is the best I’ve ever
had. He may be old, but that SEAL training lasts
forever. And we once did it in his office over
Christmas,” Meredith said, the girls just looked at
her. 



“Remind me to have that office sterilized ASAP,”
Harriet said with a laugh. “Okay, about a month after
Bud proposed to me we did it on the kitchen floor, and
Bud is the only man I’ve ever slept with so he’s the
best,” She finished. 



“What about you Bobbi?” Mac asked. 



“Well, Sturgis and I don’t really have sex in many
places other than in bed,” She said. 



“Well name one of those few other places,” Harriet
said. 



“Okay, we once did it in the SecNav’s office after he
left, and yes he’s the best,” Bobbi said. 



“You did it in the SecNav’s office? Couldn’t you get
fired for that?” Jennifer asked. 



“Well, we didn’t get caught,” She said with a sly
smile.  



“How about you Jen, do you have a boyfriend?” Meredith
asked. 



“Well, no, not really,” She said. Nervousness was
apparent in her voice. 



“Come on Jen, who is it?” Mac asked with a smile. 



“It was nothing, I doubt it’s going to go anywhere,”
Jen said, her face turning red. 



“Who is it Jen?” Harriet asked. 



“Jason Tiner, and he was so good,” She said with a
laugh. She shook her head and put it in her hands. 



“You slept with Tiner?” Mac asked, dumbfounded. 



“Yes,” She said through her giggles. 



“I knew something happened between you two. Every time
Tiner looks at you he looks like he’s seen a Goddess,”
Harriet said with a laugh. 



“Really?” Jen asked, excitedly. 



“Yeah, I noticed that two, he practically worships the
ground you walk on,” Mac said, sincerely. 



“Aww, that’s so sweet, hang on to that one Jen,” Bobbi
said. 



“Yes Ma’am,” Jen said with a mock Salute.  



2130 ZULU

July 30, 2003

McMurphy’s Bar 



“So, Harm, is Mac any good in bed?” Sturgis asked.
They were in the middle of throwing Harm’s bachelor
party. Bud, A.J Chegwidden, Sturgis, Gunny and Tiner
were all there, along with a few of Harm’s friends
from flying.  



“Oh, come on Sturgis, you know Mac would kill me if I
divulged any such information to anyone,” Harm said,
taking a swig of his beer. 



“Hey, I am only fishing for information, if you get
killed in the process, so be it,” He said, earning
laughs from the other men around them. 



“How about you Sturgis, is Bobbi any good?” Harm
asked, cockily. 



“Hey, at least you were only kidding about the murder
thing, I would actually be running around headless
tomorrow,” He said with a laugh. 



“I hate to break up this little fairytale you guys are
telling, but the stripper is here,” Gunny said. 



“Oh, come on, you guys got a stripper?” Harm asked
with a disgusted look.  



“Come on Rabb, live a little, you only have one night
left to,” A.J said, earning odd looks from all of the
other men. 



“Hey, I got hitched less than a year ago, and my life
has officially come to an end, isn’t that right Bud,”
He defended himself. 



“Well, sir I would defend you, but if word got back to
Harriet, I might not live to see tomorrow,” He said
with a laugh. 



“Come on Harm, it’s time for your last official sexual
act as a bachelor,” Sturgis said. He took Harm by the
arm and led him over to the tall slim woman who was
leaning against a table in the corner. 



1400 ZULU

August 1, 2003

Beach on the Atlantic Ocean 



Harm stood under the gazebo with his best man, Bud,
and the usher Sturgis, and the Reverend. Dressed in
his dress whites and gold wings, he had never been
more nervous in his life. Harriet and Bobbi were on
their way down the isle in between two rows of white
chairs. Finally after what seemed like hours to Harm,
Mac the corner onto the white carpeted isle along the
beach, arm in arm with Admiral Chegwidden. She wore a
long, white gown, which was strapless. It widened at
the waist and reached her toes. Her veil reached down
just below her waist. Her smile was what caught Harm’s
eye. It was more real than anything else Harm had ever
seen. Finally she reached the gazebo, and stepped up
in front of him, taking his hands in hers.  



“We are gathered here today to rejoice in the union of
these two fine people, Sarah Elizabeth Mackenzie, and
Harmon Michael Rabb. If anyone has any reason why
these two should not wed, speak now of forever hold
your peace,” The Reverend began. Mac half expected
someone to answer him, but was happy when no one
stood. 



“Good, now Harm and Sarah would like to share vows,
which they have written for each other, Harm,” He
said. 



“This was meant to be. It probably should have been a
long time ago, but my own stupidity kept us both
waiting. I’m amazed you stuck by me as long as you
have. I’ve trusted you with my life, and you never
failed to fulfill everything the marine core would
expect of you. Only recently I trusted you with my
heart, and you have yet to let me down. I look forward
to spending the rest of my life with you,” He recited.




“Sarah,” The Reverend motioned for her to begin. 



“I know this has been a bumpy ride. We’ve seen each
other make huge mistakes in our lives, whether those
mistakes are with work, or personal. Somehow, we
managed to help each other through those mistakes, and
we ended up here. I am happy we made every one of
those mistakes; because now I know our love can
withstand anything. I look forward to making more
mistakes, and fixing them, with you,” She said. 



“Now we will do the traditional exchanging of rings,
Commander Rabb, place the ring on her third finger on
her left hand and repeat after me. I give this ring to
you as a symbol of my eternal love,” He said. 



“I give this ring to you as a symbol of my eternal
love,” He said, as he slid the small ring on her
finger. 



“Colonel Mackenzie, place the ring on his third finger
on his lift hand and repeat after me. I give this ring
to you as a symbol of my eternal love,” He said. 



“I give this ring to you as a symbol of my eternal
love,” She said as she slid the band onto his finger. 



“By the power invested in me by the state of Virginia,
I now pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may kiss the
bride,” He said with a smile.  



Harm smiled and leaned down to Mac. Taking her head in
his hands he softly kissed her lips. It lingered for a
moment before they broke it, smiled playing on their
features. The two signed the marriage papers and ran
down the isle hand in hand while dodging the rice and
confetti, which was being thrown at the from all
angles. The two dove into the white limousine, which
was parked on the white sand and drove into the
sunset, together. 



“I love you Sarah,” Harm said once they began moving. 



“I love you too Harm,” Mac said with a smile. Without
hesitation Harm pulled her into a strong kiss, this
time not ever wanting to break it.