Title: Intellectual Intercourse Part III (1/2) Name: Nana Syvenky Author: nS Rating: PG Spoilers: Up to and including "The Princess and The Petty Officer" Disclaimer: I don't own them but if I did, this is what would happen... Note: This is a continuation of "Intellectual Intercourse Part I and Part II". You'll need to read them to understand what's going on here. If you don't have "Intellectual Intercourse Part I" or "Part II", let me know and I'll send it to you. Author's notes at the end of part (2/2). ********** Thursday had been a long day. Harm had finally talked to enough witnesses and had enough against P.O. Johnson to get him to confess to the charge of drug trafficking. When he finally got back to JAG Headquarters, Mac had already left for San Francisco. Even when everyone had left the office, he couldn't go home. He didn't want to go home. He figured that if he stayed at work to finish up the Johnson case and report, he could avoid having to think about his life and the women in it. When he got home, there was a message from Mac to let him know that she made it there safe and sound and was heading out for dinner. He tried calling her but there was no answer. Exhausted from lack of sleep the previous night, he went to bed early, only to stare at the ceiling, thinking about what choices he would have to make. He had come so close to telling Mac how he felt. He had wanted to tell her last night, but not through e-mail. He wanted to tell her face to face. For the first time in five years, it was clear to him what he wanted in his life, and who he wanted in his life. He could sense that Mac was waiting for him to make the first move, and by god he wasn't going to let the moment pass him by again. But then Renee came over and his world was turned upside down. He knew he had to deal with breaking up with Renee, but now, now with the possibility that she could be carrying his child, he couldn't leave her. What is he going to tell Mac? He began to be thankful that she didn't answer the phone. What would he have said? Sorry that he didn't come over to tell her that he loved her because his girlfriend might be pregnant? 'Sometimes you have to make compromises. It's possible to be with one person and be in love with another,' Mac's words kept haunting him. "What a fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Rabb," he chided himself. He tossed and turned, but again, sleep evaded him. ********** Mac returned to her room. There were no messages for her. Harm hadn't called. She had left him a message, hoping that he'd call. Maybe he called while she was at dinner. Maybe he e-mailed her. She checked her e-mail. Nothing. "That's it, I give up on men!" she said out loud as she tossed her jacket onto a chair. From now on, she'll just concentrate on her career. 'Men are a waste of time. I don't need a man in my life,' she promised herself. She quickly changed and went to bed. It had been a long day. She had flown into town and dove right into the case and started talking with both parties involved in the alleged rape. She was going to talk to some of Kate Murphy's friends and Seaman Smithson's shipmates tomorrow, but it was becoming clear to her that this was a case of a guy who didn't realize what date rape was. She couldn't believe that in this day and age, some men were still ignorant as to what date rape was. She would make sure that after this investigation, every male on that ship would be completely informed of the difference between consensual sex and date rape. She figured that she could have this case wrapped up by the end of Friday, and so that would give her the entire weekend to herself. She rolled onto her side, and slowly, she drifted off to sleep. ********** The Admiral came into the office early, hoping to catch up on some paperwork before the weekend. Who was he kidding? He didn't have a life anymore since Sydney broke up with him. He was going to be in the office all weekend anyway. He walked through the bullpen and noticed that the lights were all on. 'Did someone forget to turn the lights off or was someone else already here?' He looked around and heard the sound of clicking keys coming from Harm's office. "Commander, it's 05:00 hours. What are you doing here?" the Admiral said from the Harm's doorway. Harm looked up from his monitor and smiled weakly. "Just doing some research. You're here early yourself, sir." "I have paperwork to catch up on. Commander, are you okay?" the older man asked with sincere concern, "You look worse than you did yesterday." "I've been having trouble sleeping," Harm confessed but then quickly added "But I'm okay. Really." "Well you sure don't look it," the Admiral countered. "I assure you, sir, I'll be fine. I've just had a lot on my mind lately," the younger man replied. Even though no one else was around yet, the Admiral closed the door and sat down in the guest chair across from Harm. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Colonel Mackenzie would it?" "Sir?" Harm asked. How did the Admiral know that he was in love with Mac? "Harm, have you noticed that Mac isn't wearing Brumby's ring anymore?" The Admiral's use of his first name told him that this had become a conversation between friends. "No, I didn't," Harm replied in a state of shock. 'Mac's not going to marry Mic?' "Oh God." Harm said, his face buried in his hands. "Excuse me?" "I think I may have influenced her to break it off," Harm revealed. "Harm, I think that you and I both know that she wasn't in love with him. It was only a matter of time before she realized that," AJ said, sensing Harm's feelings of guilt. AJ couldn't help but shake his head. His two brightest lawyers could sometimes be so dimwitted. "I'm probably out of line here, and I don't' care, but when are you going admit to yourself how you feel about her?'" "Sir, it's not that easy," Harm said shaking his head. "I know," AJ said. "Relationships are never easy. I think the hardest part sometimes, though, is having to face the truth." The Admiral stood up to leave but then leaned down close to harm and said in a hushed tone, "Protocol and regulations wouldn't allow for it, but between you and me, what I don't know, won't hurt me." With that, the Admiral left the office. ********** The early morning went by in slow motion as Harm anticipated hearing from Renee about the results of the second test. When everyone else started filing in a couple of hours later, he realized that he hadn't had breakfast yet and so he quickly slipped out to get a cup of coffee and a bagel. When he came back, the light on his phone was flashing, indicating that there was a voicemail message for him. He picked up the phone and accessed the message. "Harm, it's me, Renee. I just wanted to let you know that all's well...I'm not pregnant." He could hear her smile during the short pause. "I got my period this morning. I guess I've just been stressed out a lot lately. Anyway, I'll see you later on today. Bye." Harm hung up the phone. He sat down on the edge of his desk, back to the door. He closed his eyes and gave out a huge breath. That had been a close call. With the weight having been lifted off his shoulders, he was more relaxed and was able to think more clearly. He was able to concentrate on the Johnson report with a clearer mind. By lunchtime, Harm was getting ready to head out when someone knocked on his door. Gunny poked his head into the office. "Sir, Miss Petersen is here to see you," Gunny informed him. "Thanks, Gunny," Harm said. He came out of his office to find Renee standing by Gunny's desk waiting for him. "Hi," he greeted her. "You're back early." "Yeah, well, the shoot didn't take as long as I thought it would," Renee explained. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" "Sure, just let me go get my cover." ********** They headed out to a park close to JAG Headquarters, both silent, all the way. The found a bench and sat down. Harm didn't know what to do. He couldn't break up with her, not right now. 'But if not soon, then when?' he asked himself. Harm looked around and watched some small children running around the park. He smiled. Renee followed his gaze and gave a bittersweet smile. "Harm, we need to talk," Renee said quietly. "I know," he agreed and pulled his eyes from the kids and looked at her. "I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days, and, um, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it," Renee began, her composure starting to break. Harm's gut began to form a knot and he found that his vocal chords were numb. He simply nodded his head to motion for her to continue. "I don't think that we should see each other anymore," Renee said, her eyes getting more moist by the second. "As hard as it has been for me to come to this decision, I think that it's for the best." Harm swallowed hard. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even though he himself was preparing to break off the relationship, feelings were starting to conflict inside his head and his heart. As Renee sat there, pausing to gain more self control so that she wouldn't cry, Harm saw the beautiful, carefree, and loving woman that he cared for. The woman who was almost the mother of his baby. Her eyes said it all. She had fallen in love with him and she had fallen hard. Why couldn't he reciprocate those feelings? 'Mac.' One word was answer enough for him. "I thought that by being with you, spending more time with you, I could make you feel how I feel. I thought I could make you fall in love with me," Renee continued as a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and added with a quick chuckle, "Boy was I blind." "Renee - " Harm began when she cut him off with the wave of her hand. "Harm, please, let me finish," she said, trying not to shed anymore tears. "When we thought I could've been pregnant, I could see it in your eyes. If I was pregnant, you would've stayed with me because it would've been the right thing to do. But I know that you don't feel the same way as I do, and I can't change that. I'll never be able to change that." She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand. He reached up and took her hand in his. "Renee, I'm sorry," he finally said, "I never meant to hurt you." "I know." She nodded. "This is what happens when you want something that could never be yours." *********** Harm returned to the office, saddened that he had caused Renee pain, yet elated that now he can finally face the truth. He returned to his office and opened up his e-mail program. He quickly wrote a message to Mac: --------------------- Hi Mac, I'm sorry I couldn't get a hold of you last night. I guess you must've been out for dinner. Anyway, I know that I have a lot of explaining to do, and I hear that you've got some news of your own too. I would really like to sit down and talk but I know that that's kind of tough seeing as how you're on the other side of the country. If you've got a free minute, call me, ok? HR --------------------- Harm hit the "Send" button and returned to work on the Johnson case report. ********** End of Intellectual Intercourse Part III (1/2) ********** ********** Intellectual Intercourse Part III (2/2) ********** Disclaimers and info in part (1/2). *********** After an exhaustive day of interviews with witnesses and then finally getting through to Seaman Smithson, he confessed to the charge. Mac quickly finished and signed off on the report for the SF JAG office and went back to her quarters to pack up her things. She checked into her hotel and prepared herself to enjoy her weekend. She changed out of her uniform and plugged in her computer to check her e-mail. Secretly, she hoped that there would be a message from Harm. She hadn't heard from him all day and was starting to believe that he had changed his mind about whatever it was he wanted to talk to her about. After reading through messages from Bud and Harriet, Gunny and a couple of office memos, she saw one last message from Harm. After she read it, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Harm's home number. After four rings, she heard his answering machine and hung up. Maybe he was out with Renee. 'I guess he didn't break up with her after all,' she thought bitterly. "Hey, it's Friday night, and you're in San Francisco. You should go out and enjoy yourself instead of sitting here, obsessing over some pigheaded sailor," she told herself. Just as she was about to shut down, a message popped up on her computer: "You've got mail." ********** From: HRabb@jag.navy.mil To: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 22:13 Subject: Are we ever going to connect? Hi Mac, I've been trying to call you but the line was constantly busy. I figured you must be checking your e-mail so I'll try to catch you here. So how did the case go? How's San Francisco this time of year? I was able to get P.O. Johnson to confess, and so that was wrapped up by this afternoon. Any plans for this weekend? Are you going to stay in SF? Anyway, hope to hear from you. HR ---------- From: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil To: HRabb@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 22:22 Subject: RE: Are we ever going to connect? hi Harm, i just tried calling you a few minutes ago but there was no answer at your place. Harm, are you still at work? you should go home. the Smithson case went fine. after some "education", he realized that he had committed a crime. can you believe that there are still guys in this world who think a girl's just playing hard to get when she says "no"? congratulations on the Johnson case. seems like we're pretty good at getting confessions out of the guilty. San Francisco is kind of cold at this time of year, but it's still a beautiful city. yes, i'm planning on staying here for the weekend. the Admiral says that if i want some more time, i can take it. I may just take him up on that offer. wait a minute, how did you know where to call me? Mac ----------- From: HRabb@jag.navy.mil To: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 22:36 Subject: The naked truth Yes, there are definitely some clueless men out there. Sometimes, they require a very hard knock upside the head to wake them up. Congratulations on the case. Why do you suppose it's so easy for us to get confessions out of the people we investigate, yet we can't be truthful to ourselves sometimes? I'm constantly fighting to find the truth in each and every case I get, yet all these years I haven't been honest with myself. Have you ever felt that way? HR P.S. The Admiral told me where you were going to be staying. The Nob Hill Lambourne?...Nice. ---------- From: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil To: HRabb@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 22:48 Subject: RE: The naked truth men aren' t the only ones who are clueless. some women need to have their noggins shaken up a bit too. have i ever felt that i haven't been honest with myself? yes, many times. when i was an alcoholic, i wasn't honest with myself that i had a problem. more recently, i wasn't honest with myself and with Mic about my feelings, but that has been remedied. what about you? any specific instances you want to share? "i showed you mine, you show me yours" :) Mac p.s. yes, the Lambourne is very nice. a girl's gotta treat herself once in a while. ----------- From: HRabb@jag.navy.mil To: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 22:56 Subject: RE: are we connecting now? So, are you planning on going anywhere tonight? Hitting the town, raising some hell? Marines are pretty good at that I hear. :) Yes, you're right, I'm trying to change the subject here. I think you know what I haven't been honest about. We had this discussion not so long ago, remember? Speaking of which, I am sorry I never made it over to your place Wednesday night. My world was turned upside down that night and I had a lot on my mind these past couple of days. Anyway, there's a lot we need to talk about, but I'd much rather discuss this face to face instead of through e-mail. HR ----------- From: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil To: HRabb@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 23:10 Subject: RE: are we connecting now? i know. some things should be discussed in person. however, i'm not sure when i'll be back, so any serious discussion will have to wait. i had planned on going out tonight, but i'm pretty beat so i think i'm just going to hang around here and take a hot bath maybe. what about you, any plans? Mac ---------- From: HRabb@jag.navy.mil To: SMackenzie@jag.navy.mil Sent: November 17, 2000 23:16 Subject: have a nice bath... I completely understand you needing some time away from Washington and I hope you find the peace you're looking for (if that is what you're looking for.) Same plans for me. I think I'm just going to stay in and relax for the rest of the night. I'd like to write more, but I've got to go. I'll call you soon. HR ---------- Mac read the last message from Harm and finally shut down her computer. She thought about the past couple of days. She felt like they had come so close that night through the e-mails, but then the next day, it seemed like they were even more distant than they had ever been. Tonight was a good sign though. They were getting back to the easiness they had found a couple of nights ago. 'But will it be a roller coaster ride where we're at the top now, but will soon plummet down to distance and avoidance again?' she thought to herself as she went to the bathroom to draw herself a bath. She undressed and slid into the tub, letting the hot water ease out the tension in her body. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. She no longer felt guilty about Mic. They weren't meant to be. He deserved to be with someone who loved him. And, for the first time in a long time, she was happy. The last words of Harm's email message kept repeating itself in her head, 'I'll call you soon.' She had to remind herself that this was just a friendship that they were rebuilding since he left JAG to fly and returned. Just because he didn't want to marry Renee didn't mean that he wanted to marry her. She had basically thrown herself at him in Australia but he obviously didn't feel the same way. 'He did say that it wasn't the right time then,' the little voice of hope inside of her piped up. 'Well, you can allow yourself to hope for more, but don't make a fool out of yourself again,' she warned the voice. 'Let's just enjoy ourselves this weekend and not think about men for awhile.' She lowered herself so that her shoulders were completely immersed in water. She inhaled the fruity smell of the bubble bath and candles she had lit. This is what a vacation is supposed to feel like. After she realized that she'd been in the bath for almost an hour, she was preparing to get out of the tub when she heard her cell phone ringing. She grabbed one of the hotel bathrobes and wrapped herself up in the soft material. "Who could be calling me?" she wondered out loud as she made her way over to the phone. "Hello?" she answered after several rings. "Hi," a deep, warm voice came through and it made her knees weak. She smiled. "Hi, Sailor. I know you said you'd call soon, but I didn't realize you meant this soon," she teased him. "I like to keep you on your toes," Harm teased her back. "Can you do me a favor?" "Depends," she said, not once losing her smile since she answered the phone. "Do you have a balcony where you're at?" he asked, his tone cool and relaxed. "Sure, why?" "Can you go out there and tell me what you see, what it's like there right now?" He asked her and she couldn't refuse. She tightened her robe around her waist and went over to the balcony and opened the door. She stepped outside and felt the night breeze against her skin. "Kinda chilly," she told him and could hear him smile through the phone. "I can see Chinatown and Financial Square from here," she told him as she looked out and saw the city lights. "It's beautiful here, Harm." "You're beautiful," the reply came from the phone and from a voice a few feet away from her. She spun around and looked over to the balcony of the room next door and froze. Harm took his phone away from his ear and turned it off. "I had to tell you that in person." She was speechless and just let her hand drop down to her side. "You'd better get inside. It's kind of cold out here," he told her with a shy smile, glancing out at the night air surrounding them. A nod was all she could manage. She stepped inside, moving slowly, still too stunned to think or move at her usual pace. As she closed the balcony doors, a knock came from her hotel door. She tossed her phone onto the bed and moved to the door. She took a deep breath and opened it. ********** Harm quickly ran back inside his hotel room, out the door and stopped at Mac's door. He took a deep breath and knocked. When the door opened, he felt the butterflies stir again in his stomach. She was so beautiful, all bundled up in the white terry bathrobe, hair still damp. 'C'mon, Maverick. You've come this far, don't back down now," his heart told him. Without a word, he took a step and was mere inches from the one woman he ever truly loved. He was still hesitant, but his hands decided that they had waited long enough and reached up to cup her face. Her cheeks were still cool from being outside. He leaned in ever so slowly so as to savor the moment, and finally touched his lips to hers. His senses came alive. Her skin was soft, she smelled like strawberries and her lips were like chocolate. Sweet, delicate, and he couldn't get enough. Apparently, neither could she. She responded by wrapping her arms around his broad back, hands feeling the muscles beneath his shirt. Her lips parted slightly and her tongue darted out to briefly taste his lips. The kiss was chaste, yet full of passion and lust. Their lips pulled apart but their faces were still only a couple of inches away from each other. Harm's hands reached down and rested on her waist, keeping her close to him. "I love you so much," he said in a low whisper. " I love you too," she replied, the first words she had spoken since seeing him. She grinned and reached up and pulled his head back down to hers and kissed him with raw passion and hunger. He reached back behind him and pushed the door shut. They weren't going to be leaving the room for a couple of days. ---------- Fin Author's notes: Thank you everyone for bearing with me and having patience. I hope that I was able to entertain you all. Anyway, feedback would be great - I love hearing from all of you. Thanks again.