Title: Intellectual Intercourse II (1/2)
Name: Nana Syvenky
Author: nS
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to and including "The Princess and The Petty Officer"
Disclaimer: I don't own them but if I did, this is what would happen...
Note: This is a continuation of "Intellectual Intercourse". You'll need 
to read it to understand what's going on here. If you don't have 
"Intellectual Intercourse Part 1", let me know and I'll send it to you.
Author's notes at the end of part 2.

Previously, from Intellectual Intercourse Part I (2/2):
----------

From: semperfi@hotmail.com
To: HRabb@jag.navy.mil
Sent: November 15, 2000 23:10
Subject: RE: <empty>

and now...?

look, Harm, it's getting late. we've both had a long day. let's just 
call it a night.

Mac
----------

From: HRabb@jag.navy.mil
To: semperfi@hotmail.com 
Sent: November 15, 2000 23:16
Subject: Sarah...

Can I come over?

HR
----------


Intellectual Intercourse Part II (1/2)

**********
Harm jumped out of his chair as soon as he sent the email message and 
grabbed his jacket. He wasn't going to wait for her to answer, in case 
she was going to talk him out of going over there and telling her how he 
felt while he still had his nerve. He grabbed his keys from the table 
and opened the door to a small fist at his chin level.

Harm stopped short. "Renee," he greeted in a surprised tone and it 
sounded more like a question. 'What are you doing here?' he thought.

"Hi, Harm," Renee replied lowering her hand. "Were you going 
somewhere?"

"Couldn't sleep, so I was just gonna go for a walk," Harm lied. He knew 
he had to talk to her, but he wasn't prepared to do it at the moment. 
He needed time to figure out how to let her down easy and not hurt her.

"Can I come in?" Renee's voice broke through his thoughts and he 
realized that he was still standing in the doorway.

"Sure," he replied and stepped back to let her in. He slowly closed the 
door and took a deep breath. 'It's now or never, Rabb,' his inner voice 
told him.

He turned to face Renee and she was standing by the island in the 
kitchen, coat still on, fingers fidgeting with her keys. 'This is odd,' he 
thought.  'Usually she's already heading to the bedroom at this time.'

They looked at each other and smiled weakly, each one too engrossed in 
their own nervousness to notice the other's signature habits of 
distress. She was playing with her keys. He stood with his hands in his jeans 
pockets.

"Harm-"

"Renee-" 

They both started. He smiled and tried to relax a bit. He could do 
this. It would be for the best.

"Harm, I'm late," Renee said quickly.

"For what?" he asked, cluelessly.

"I'm. Late," she repeated, saying each syllable separately to get her 
point across.

Harm walked over to her and sat down on the stool beside her. "I don't 
understand. Late for what? A premiere? A commercial deadline?"

Renee closed her eyes and took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. 
She  lowered her hands to her lower abdomen and repeated, "I'm late."

"Oh," Harm said in quiet shock and when the realization hit him his 
eyes widened and he repeated louder, "Oh." Suddenly, his mouth went dry 
and he had to force himself to ask the question, "You're. You're 
pregnant?"

"I don't know. I haven't taken a pregnancy test yet, but I'm never 
late," Renee replied as she finally sat down at the island next to Harm.

"Maybe it's stress." Harm offered as an explanation. 'This can't be 
happening,' he thought to himself. 

Renee was silent as she studied his face, trying to read his reaction. 
Was he having mixed feelings like she was? 

"How? I mean, we're always careful. I always use - ," Harm wondered out 
loud.

"I know," Renee said, cutting him off, "but it broke last time, 
remember?"

Harm nodded. 'This can't be happening.' The phrase had become his new 
mantra in the past 30 seconds. 'But you have to be a man. You have to do 
the right thing,' his conscience told him.

He looked up and saw her waiting for him to say something. What could 
he say?  He reached out and touched her arm. "How are you feeling about 
this?" He needed to know. Did she want this? 'Of course she did!' 

"I'm scared. As much as I've been hoping for the possibility of this to 
happen, I wasn't thinking of it maybe happening now," Renee confessed. 
She did want to have a baby - his baby. She did want to be pregnant. 
But not now.  Not when her career was still going strong, and God knows 
not when Harm is always being sent around the world all the time. She 
loved this man and wanted him to be the
father of her children, but she knew he wasn't ready for this.

"What about you? What are your thoughts on this?" she asked him, 
touching his cheek, looking into his eyes for an answer.

"I'm scared too," he whispered. She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss 
on his lips and wrapped her arms around him. 'I hope that if this is 
true, you'll want this too,' she thought as she closed her eyes and felt 
him put his arms around her.

"I should go," she said and pulled away.

He grabbed onto her hands. "No, stay. First thing tomorrow morning, 
I'll go to the drug store and get a test kit."

**********

Mac stared at her monitor at the message she just received. 'He wants 
to come over. Why?' she thought. 'Should I tell him no? Is he already on 
his way? Why does he want to come over? Is he going to tell me how he 
feels? Or is he just trying to stop me from marrying Mic?'

She stood up to get some more tea. She may need it if he's coming over. 
'No, he wouldn't stop me from marrying Mic. He already said that he 
just wants me to be happy,' she continued her internal debate.

She sat back down in front of her computer and was set to type in her 
reply when she heard a knock on the door. 'He can't be here already, 
could he?'

She quickly shut off the monitor and moved to the door. She took a deep 
breath and opened it.

"Mic," she said, "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," she said and let him in. 'I don't need to deal with this 
right now,' she cursed inwardly.

Mic walked over to the couch and sat down and waited for Mac to join 
him. She slowly walked over to him and sat in a nearby chair instead. 
"Sarah, I've been doing some thinking, and I know that things
haven't been going too well between us," Mic began.

"I know," Mac said, nodding her agreement.

"You know that I love you, and I'm willing to work things out," Mic  
continued, "but I need to know if you are."

"Mic," she began to say. "I do care about you."

Mic looked away from her eyes and into his clasped hands. "But you 
don't love me." There, he said it for her. How could he have been so blind 
to think that he could make her love him?

"Mic," she said again and stopped. What could she say?

"What, Sarah? There's nothing you can say that you haven't already 
said, all this time we've been together, in your actions, in your words, or 
lack of words," he said and stood up and went to the window and looked 
outside into the dark. "I should have known. If you wanted to marry me, 
my ring would be on your left hand by now."

Mac rose out of the chair and went over to him and faced him. She had 
to be honest with him. She owed him at least that. She took his hands 
into hers and looked into his eyes. They were filled with sadness and 
hurt, but she could still see a glimmer of hope behind them.

"Mic, I'm so sorry," she said. "I do care about you, but you're right, 
I don't love you, not in the way that you want me to. Not in the way 
that you deserve to be loved. I'm so sorry to have hurt you."

"I never had a chance did I?" Mic asked her, not able to look into her 
eyes.

"You're a wonderful man, and you need to be with someone who deserves 
you," Mac said. She had to be honest with him, but some truths are 
better left unsaid. She slipped the ring off her finger and placed it in his 
hand. She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. "Thank you for loving 
me, Mic."

"Good bye, Sarah," he said and quietly turned to go. He pulled the door 
shut behind him and stopped to lean back on it. He closed his eyes and 
a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Sarah stood still at her window and continued to look out into the 
still November air. "Did I just make one of the biggest mistakes of my 
life, Jingo?" she asked the dog. He merely looked up at her and then 
dropped his head back down onto the carpet and closed his eyes.

**********
End of Intellectual Intercourse II 1/2
**********

**********
Disclaimers and info in part (1/2).
**********

All night, Harm laid in bed and tried to squeeze his eyes shut as 
tight as possible, but sleep didn't come to him. The same phrases 
kept playing over and over again in his mind, 'I'm late', 'This
can't be happening', 'Be a man and accept your responsibilities'. 
Finally he opened his eyes and turned to look out the bedroom window. 
The un-risen sun was already starting to lighten up the early
morning sky and he thanked his lucky stars to have a reason to get 
out of the apartment and away from his bout of insomnia.

He quietly got out of bed so as to not wake up Renee and put on some 
sweats.  He left a note for her on the night table and quietly 
slipped out the door.

He needed some fresh air and time to himself to process the 
implications of what Renee's situation would mean for both of them. 
He started jogging down the road and worked himself up to a good 
running pace and then kept running forward. 

**********

Mac laid in her bed all night, running the events of the evening 
through her mind over and over again.

What was she thinking? She ended a relationship with a man who loved 
her and was willing to do anything for her. And for what? For some 
hope that a certain Navy lawyer was in love with her? And worse
yet, this Navy lawyer didn't even come over. 'You never did tell him 
if he could come over or not,' she reasoned with herself, 'But then 
again, when did Harmon Rabb Jr. ever do anything she told him to?'

A buzzing sound broke through her thoughts and she turned to look at 
the clock on her night table. 5:45 A.M. She hit the snooze button, 
pulled the covers over her head and turned her back to the
clock. She was not in the mood to get out of bed today. At least not 
yet. Maybe she'd call in sick.

**********

Harm looked at his watch and realized that it was time to head back. 
He made his way towards home but not before making a short stop at the 
local pharmacy.

He quietly opened the door to the apartment and dropped the bag off 
on the kitchen counter. The apartment was still quiet so he figured 
that Renee was still asleep. He slipped into the shower to let the hot 
water wash away his worries but to no avail.

He finished his shower and grabbed the bag from the kitchen and brought 
it into the bedroom. He began changing into his uniform and  sat on the 
bed as he put on his socks.

The form beneath the covers stirred and slowly sat up

"Good morning," Harm greeted her in a soft voice. He had made up his 
mind during his run that if Renee was indeed pregnant, he wouldn't walk 
away. He would stay with her and see this through. It was the honorable 
and right thing to do. Mac's words had rang through his ears the entire 
morning. "You get lemons, you make lemonade."

"Morning," Renee replied with a small smile. "You didn't sleep last 
night did you?"

"No," Harm answered honestly. He grabbed his morning purchase and 
handed it to her. "The guy at the store said that with these tests, there 
could be false negatives. So I got two. Just in case. He said that if the 
first one is negative, and we wanna be sure, wait 48 hours and do the 
second test."

"Do you have time for me to do one now?" Renee asked, biting her bottom 
lip.

"Yeah, sure," he replied. Why put it off? Better find out sooner rather 
than later. "I'll go make some coffee."

Renee grabbed one of the test kits and headed for the bathroom. Harm 
grabbed his tie and jacket and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later, 
Renee came out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. Harm handed 
her a cup of coffee and they sat down at the table.

"So what's going to happen if it's positive?" Harm asked slowly.

"I don't know. Why don't we just wait until we find out," Renee 
answered, sipping her coffee.

They sat in silence for the next few minutes which felt like a 
lifetime, stealing glances at each other, wondering what the other was thinking 
and feeling. Finally, Renee looked at her watch and stood up. Harm 
joined her and they went to the bathroom. For some reason, today, the 
bathroom was so far away. It took an eternity to reach the doorway. Renee 
walked into the room and held up the result.

"Negative," she said and they both let out huge sigh of relief.

"Do you think you should do the second test in a couple of days?" Harm 
asked as they left the bathroom and Renee went to get changed.

"Yeah, just to be sure," she replied from the bedroom.

"Ok. I gotta get to work," Harm said, peering into the bedroom from the  
doorway. "Call me if you need anything, ok?"

"Ok," Renee said and gave him a smile. "Go on, you'll be late for work. 
I'll see you Friday afternoon when I get back from New York."

**********

Harm walked into the JAG Headquarters, his mind still a thousand miles 
away from work. Sure the test was negative, but there are such things 
as false negatives and Renee is adamant that she is never late. He 
headed towards his office when Gunny called out to him.

"Commander, the Admiral wants to see you in his office ASAP. Colonel 
Mackenzie is already in there," the marine informed him.

"Thanks, Gunny," Harm replied and dropped of his cover and briefcase on 
his desk. 'Mac. Shit. I was heading over there last night. She's 
probably pissed off at me.'

Harm knocked on the wooden door and heard the command to enter. He came 
in and greeted the Admiral and Colonel. He was still too wrapped up in 
his world to notice that Mac's eyes were a bit red and slightly puffy. 
She too was distracted to notice that he looked like he hadn't slept 
all night.

The Admiral assessed his two JAG lawyers and addressed them. "Colonel, 
Commander, may I ask why you two look like you've been to hell and 
back?"

"I didn't get much sleep last night, sir," Mac replied.

"Neither did I, sir," Harm answered. 

"Do either of you need to take some time off?" the Admiral continued 
with his questioning.

"No, sir," they replied simultaneously.

"Very well," the Admiral said, allowing the issue to rest for the time 
being.  "I have a case of 'she said, he said' in San Francisco. They're 
short staffed and so I volunteered one of you. She's Kate Murphy, a 
civilian who alleges that she was date raped. He's Seaman Craig Smithson, 
who claims that it was consensual. I'm feeling generous today, so, who 
wants to investigate this?"

"I'll go, sir," Mac replied immediately.

The Admiral and Harm were both caught a little off guard by her quick 
response. "I have nothing on my plate right now, so if it's okay with 
you, I can go," Mac tried to explain.

"Alright then. Arrange your schedule and get out there ASAP. We don't 
need the press getting a whiff of this," the Admiral said. "What about 
you, Commander, how's your schedule?"

"I still need to finish up the Johnson case, sir, the Petty Officer 
charged with selling drugs to his shipmates," Harm answered. "I think that 
should be wrapped up by Friday."

"Fine," replied the Admiral. "Dismissed."

"Aye, sir," Harm and Mac replied and as they turned to leave, the 
Admiral called out, "Colonel, could I speak with you for a moment?"

After Harm left, the Admiral motioned for Mac to sit down. He came 
around his desk and sat down on the corner of it, facing Mac. "Colonel, I 
try to keep out of my staff's personal business, but is everything 
okay?"

"Everything is fine, sir," Mac answered, not wanting to relive the 
previous night.

"Am I to understand that you and Brumby no longer have plans to marry?" 
he asked, indicating her missing ring.

"Yes, sir. We had a talk last night...it's for the best, really," Mac 
answered, hoping that this would be enough to bring the conversation to 
an end.

"Mac, like I said before, I try to keep out of your personal business, 
but, I do agree that this is for the best," he said softly. "A person 
shouldn't marry someone they don't love."

Mac was at first surprised by the last comment but then she realized 
that the truth was obvious to everyone but her up until now, "It was that 
obvious?"

"Well, maybe not to all, but it was somewhat obvious to me. I may be an 
old man, Colonel, but I'm not blind," he joked. He stood up and walked 
back to his chair.
"I'm sure you can wrap up this investigation fairly quickly. If you can 
wrap this up by Friday, stay for the weekend, and take in the sights. 
If you need any extra time, just let me know."

"Thank you, sir," Mac said and rose to leave.

"Just think of it as an early Christmas present," the Admiral said as 
Mac left.

Mac went over to Gunny and asked him to make her flight arrangements 
for her and went into her office to check her e-mail and sign off on her 
recent cases. There was a post-it note on her monitor:

"Mac, I'm sorry I didn't make it over last night. Something came up. 
I've left for Norfolk this morning, but hopefully we can talk before you 
go. If not, call me when you get to SF. -HR"

Mac took the note and read it a couple of times. So, he had intended to 
go over to her place last night. What could it be that he needed to 
talk to her about? Could she allow that tiny flame of hope inside her 
grow?

A knock on the door brought her back to reality. Gunny informed her 
that he had a flight booked for her to leave for San Francisco in a few 
hours. She had enough time to grab her laptop, the case file, go home to 
pack and catch the flight. 'I think I'm going to need this 
mini-vacation,' she thought to herself as she left her office.

**********
End of Intellectual Intercourse II (2/2)