I Love you, Goodbye Tsarina Smith November 28, 2001 Disclaimer: All I own is a blue Honda and my imagination J Category: Shipper! Summary: I was really bored and I was downloading songs for my “Breakup CD” and I heard these songs and got a crazy idea for a short little fanfic. Hope you guys enjoy it! Spoilers: None really. Its just an out there piece. Turner is here, but the wedding hadn’t happened, or Lifeline never happened. Feedback: PLEASE! I’ll cry if you didn’t. I Love you, Goodbye Harm and Renee walked into the ballroom. He surveyed the crowd, looking for some familiar faces. He saw Turner and Bobbie and smiled as he led Renee to them. “Hey you two.” He smiled. “Bobbie, you look wonderful.” “Hey Harm.” Turner said with a smile. “Renee, you look lovely too.” Bobbie leaned in and gave Harm a hug. “Please, Harm.” She whispered. “Renee?” Harm pretended to kiss her cheek. “Don’t start Bobbie.” “Hey, look.” Turner said. “Mac and Brumby are here.” Harm turned to look, and his jaw all but fell to the floor. She looked positively stunning. She wore a strapless, pale blue dress. The top was snug, and the skirt was long and full. She looked like a princess. He tried to compose himself as her and “Bug-Me” made their way over to them. Hey everyone.” She said with a smile. She looked over at Harm and the video princess. “Renee, Harm.” “Hey Mac.” He managed to stutter out. “You look beautiful.” She smiled, her first sincere smile of the night. “Thank you.” She grinned. “You know what they say about dress whites and gold wings…” He laughed. “Overrated, yes I know.” “No they’re not. Nothing is sexier then dress whites and gold wings.” Renee piped in. Mac smiled again, this time forced. “Well. To each her own.” She took one last glance at Harm, before she asked Mic to dance with her. “I’d love to, luv.” He took her hand and they walked onto the dance floor. He pulled her close to him and Mac rested her head on his shoulder. She looked over to harm, where he and Renee were now dancing. Her heart shattered. Mic loved her. Why in the hell couldn’t she just be happy and return that love. She closed her eyes and buried her head into his shoulder. Harm looked over at Mac and Mic. He felt that familiar gnawing in his stomach. Seeing the woman he loved in the arms of another man was the most painful sight in the world. And the worst part, it was all his fault. If only he had been able to let go in Australia, she would be in his arms right now. At that moment, she looked up, and their eyes locked. Renee sighed as she danced with Harm. Why was she so pathetic. Why couldn’t she let this man go. He didn’t love her. Not the way he loved Mac. The signs were all there. They had been there forever. But she loved him too much to do anything about them. She held him tighter, trying to compensate with the fact he was barely holding her. “Harm.” She said softly.” “Hmm.” He said, tearing his eyes away from Mac. “I love you.” His heart broke. “Me too.” She put her head back on his shoulder and bit back a sob. She couldn’t prevent the tear from falling down her cheek. The sing ended. She let go of him and started to walk back to the table. “I’m gonna sit this one out, ok.” Mic walked over to the table, telling Mac the same thing. They watched as Mac and Harm met in the middle of the floor. They saw Harm say something and a brilliant smile light up Mac’s face. He took her in his arms and they slowly began moving to the music. Mic noticed that she didn’t put her head on his shoulder. She looped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. Renee noticed that he held her as close to him as he possibly could. She looked over at Mic and saw the pained look on his face. Her small hand found his and squeezed. “I know how you feel.” *** “I love this song.” Mac said with a sigh. “It’s pretty.” Harm agreed. “I’ve never heard it before. Who sings it?” Mac thought for a minute. “Westlife. It’s one of those boy bands. Last time Chloe visited, she brought her CD’s and played this one to death.” Harm laughed. “I miss Chlo. When’s she coming back. Maybe the three of us can go do something.” Mac raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, that’d be great.” She paused. “She’ll be back next month. They have a long weekend from school, and her dad said she could come see me.” “Good.” Harm said. “I was out of town last time and I was so disappointed that I missed her.” Mac smiled. “She was upset too.” She sighed and leaned in to rest her head against his chest. If I die tonight, I'd go with no regrets If it's in your arms I know that I was blessed And if your eyes are the last Thing that I see Then I know the beauty heaven Holds for me Harm ran his hand over her back and listened to the song. Then he thought of the woman in his arms. The song was so appropriate. But if I make it through, if I live to See the day If I'm with you, I'll know just what to say The truth be told, girl you take my Breath away Every minute, every hour, every day Mac smiled as Harm’s hand roamed her back. She was content to stay like this for the rest of her life. Every moment we share together Is even better than the moment before If every day was as good as today was Then I can't wait until tomorrow comes Renee and Mic watched them. A tear ran down Renee’s cheek. She looked over at Mic. He was staring at his hands, folded in his lap. She once again covered her hand with his. They both knew what they were going to have to do. A moment in time is all that's given you and me A moment in time, and it's something you should seize So I won't make the mistake of Letting go Everyday you're here I'm gonna let you know Each morning that I get up, I love you more Than ever So girl I'll never go away, never stray I love, love, love the moments Oh yeah Moments we share together I love, love, love the moments Oh yeah I pray they'd last forever Harm reluctantly released Mac as the song ended. He picked up her hand and gently kissed it. They parted and walked back over to their dates. Renee and Mic both forced smiles at them and then looked at each other. *** Once the party finally ended, Renee and Harm climbed in his car and headed back to his apartment. Harm turned on the stereo and began to walk towards the kitchen. Renee sat down on the sofa. She was going to talk to him. She had to. But it hurt so bad. She ran her hands through her hair. She got up, walked over to the stereo and changed the station. A light, contemporary love song came on. “This next song,” the DJ was saying, “was requested by a someone who recently ended a long term relationship. I hope everything works for both Mic & Sarah.” Wish I could be the one The one who could give you love The kind of love you really need Wish I could say to you That I'll always stay with you But baby that's not me You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do Oh I could say that I'll be all you need But that would be a lie I know I'd only hurt you I know I'd only make you cry I'm not the one you're needing I love you, goodbye Renee gasped and turned the radio up louder. Harm had heard the request and was now standing in the doorway, listening. I hope someday you can Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you I don't really wanna go But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be Who'll give you something better Than the love you'll find with me Oh I could say that I'll be all you need But that would be a crime I know I'd only hurt you I know I'd only make you cry I'm not the one you're needing I love you, goodbye Renee started to cry, and Harm reached over and turned off the radio. She looked up at him and wiped the tears out of her eyes. “It’s over Harm. I love you. But I know you don’t love me. At least not the way you love her. She’s available now. Go to her. Fix what’s been messed up for so long.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, and walked out of his life forever. Harm watched her leave from the window. Once her car was out of sight, he grabbed his keys and ran out of the apartment. He all but leaped down the stairs in a single bound. He climbed in his SUV. Not caring about speed limits, he was at Mac’s apartment in record time. Breathless, he approached her door and knocked. She opened the door. She was still in her evening gown, and he still in his dress whites. It seemed like a scene from a movie. Without word, she opened the door wider so he could come in. “It’s over with Renee.” “It’s over with Mic.” “I know, we heard the song.” She nodded. I loved him, but not the way a wife should love a husband. He loved me, but he knew he’d never have my whole heart.” Harm sighed. “I know. it’s the same with Renee. I can never give my heart to anyone else, because it’s not mine to give.” Mac looked at him, tears in her eyes. “What are you saying?” “My heart isn’t mine anymore. It’s yours. It’s been yours for as long as I can remember.” He took her hand and led her to the couch. “Sarah,” he said softly, causing her to look up with the use of her first name, “I love you. I love everything about you. I love the way you walk, I love the way you laugh. I love the way you love Chloe. I love the way you have been there for me throughout everything. The search for my dad, mostly. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you.” he paused. “I love you. Hello.” She sat there, tears falling down her cheeks. Not that she cared. She had waited so long for him to say these things. “I love you too, Harm. I’ve always loved you.” He leaned in, to kiss her. She welcomed his warm mouth. After a few minutes, realizing that oxygen was still a necessity, they parted. “We’re going to make this work, Sarah.” He said softly. She nodded. “I know.” They both stood up and walked to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said. The touched her face and she stood on her tiptoes, touching her lips to his for a gentle kiss. “I love you.” She said simply. “I love you.” He kissed her one last time, and walked outside. He didn’t leave the hallway till he heard the deadbolt locking. He smiled as he practically danced down the hall. Once outside, a young man and woman were walking into the building. He grabbed the young man by the shoulders. “She loves me!” He said excitedly. He released him and grabbed the young woman kissing her on the cheek. Then he danced away. Mac watched the scene from the window, a smile on her face. “He loves me.” She whispered. The end J Songs used are “Moments” by Westlife and “I Love you, Goodbye” by Celine Dion