Disclaimers: Donald P. Bellisario owns JAG and all of its characters. I am merely borrowing them for my writing (and hopefully your reading) pleasure. Any resemblance of any other characters or places to actual people or places is purely coincidental. I derive no profit from this hobby. 2002 - Harm and Mac's Year Part II: Confessions JoAnn Fisher Summary: Harm opens up to Mac on Valentine's Day Spoliers: Everything up to and including Odd Man Out is fair game. Rating: PG-13 Thursday, February 14, 2002 0830 Local Time JAG Headquarters, Falls Church Virginia Harm strode through the bullpen on his way to Admiral Chegwidden's office. He stopped at Tiner's desk to check on his commanding officer's availability. "Good morning, sir," the young petty officer said. "Morning, Tiner," Harm replied. "Is the Admiral available? I'd like to give him my final report on the Emler case." Tiner pushed a button on his phone and relayed the Commander's request. "Send him in," came the admiral's reply. Harm stood at attention until the admiral invited him to sit. "Welcome home, commander," AJ said. "How was San Diego?" "A lot warmer than here, sir," Harm replied. "How did you manage to win that case, commander?" AJ asked. "I mean, I thought the Patriots winning the Super Bowl was a stunner, but convicting Chief Petty Officer Emler of dereliction of duty and negligent homicide with next to no evidence was nothing short of amazing." "Thank you, sir," Harm said. The two Naval officers spent the next 15 minutes discussing the fine points of the case. "I assume you and Mac have big plans for tonight?" AJ asked when they were finished. "Yes, sir! Dinner, dancing, the whole works," Harm said with a smile. "Good. You two deserve a nice evening out," AJ stated then cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable. "I don't mean to pry into your personal business, but are you planning on proposing to Mac tonight?" "No. I hope to propose to her at some point, but I haven't picked a specific date to do that, yet," Harm replied with a puzzled look. "I only ask because it could cause some complications here at JAG. I'm afraid I have ask you to forewarn me before you propose, so that I can see what I can do about keeping you both here," AJ stated simply. "Understood, sir." "Good. I'll expect to see you both by 1000 tomorrow morning," AJ said with a pointed look. Harm knew that AJ was giving him a small gift of a few extra hours with Mac. "Thank you, sir." On Harm's way back to his office, Bud stopped him with a question about a pending case. Harm motioned for Bud to follow him to his office, where he found a book that would help the Lieutenant. "Thank you, sir. I`m sure this will give me the background I need," Bud said. "Anytime, Bud," Harm replied. "Do you and Harriet have special plans tonight?" "Nothing too special. I ordered flowers for her to be delivered here, and I bought her a pearl necklace. I'll give that to her tonight after little AJ goes to bed. How about you and the Colonel?" Bud inquired. Outside of the admiral, Bud and Harriet were the only ones in the office who knew about his relationship with Mac, and that was only because Harriet had helped the admiral get them together. Harm hadn't even told Sturgis, for which he felt incredibly guilty. It wasn't that he didn't trust his friend, but Sturgis was still feeling a little out of place at JAG and Harm was afraid of making him even more uncomfortable. Unbeknownst to him, Mac had confessed her feelings for Harm to Sturgis a couple of weeks before their "assignment" in rural West Virginia. "Thanks to your wife's help, I'm taking her to a nice country inn near Manassas. They have this package where they offer private dining, a dance floor with a DJ, and overnight accommodations. It's supposed to be very romantic," Harm replied. "It sounds it, sir," Bud said wistfully. "I wish I could do something like that with Harriet, but babysitters are so expensive." "Tell you what, Bud. I was going to take Mac flying this weekend, but it doesn't sound like the weather is going to cooperate with me. How about if Mac and I watch little AJ. You and Harriet can have the whole weekend together," Harm offered. "That's very nice of you, sir, but I couldn't ask you and the Colonel to do that." "You didn't ask. I offered. We are his godparents, we should spend some time with him." "Thank you. I'll talk it over with Harriet," Bud replied. "Good," Harm said as Bud started out the door. Ten minutes later, Harriet appeared at his door. "Sir, Bud just told me about your offer. Are you sure you want to take a two and a half year old for the weekend?" She asked. When Harm nodded affirmatively, she continued. "Do you want to discuss it with Colonel MacKenzie first, sir?" "No. I'm sure she'd love the opportunity to spend time with her godson," Harm replied. Harriet still looked skeptical so he added, "If she doesn't agree, I'll take him myself. Sergei would probably help me out." "Thank you, sir. We accept your offer," Harriet said with a smile. "I can't remember the last time Bud and I spent more than a few hours alone together." "You and Bud work out whatever details and let me know tomorrow." "Yes, sir. Thank you again, sir," Harriet gushed. "Anytime, Harriet." 1730 Local Time Mac's Apartment Mac was putting on her earrings when she heard Harm's knock at her door. "Be right there!" She called as she walked into the living room. She opened the door to find Harm in a charcoal gray, pinstripe suit with a crisp, white dress shirt and blue tie. Mac recognized the suit from Christmas and thought he looked incredibly handsome. But then there were very few outfits in which he didn't look handsome. It was all Harm could do to keep his jaw from hitting the floor when he saw Mac. She was wearing a simple, strapless, red, low cut dress. `Very low cut.' It looked somewhat familiar to him and he thought for a few seconds before he remembered that it was the dress she had worn to the Surface Warfare Ball almost 2 years before. Harm swallowed hard before finding his voice. "Wow! You look beautiful and very sexy," Harm said and smiled. Mac blushed and smiled. "Thank you. You look very handsome yourself." "Thank you. Are you ready to go?" Harm asked. "I just need to get my bag and my coat," Mac replied. She retreated into her bedroom and Harm stepped into the living room. When she returned, he helped her into her coat and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Noticing her slightly disappointed look at the briefness of the kiss, Harm said "If we start now, we'll never make it to the inn." She knew what he meant as soon as she saw the passion smoldering in his eyes. He picked up her bag with one hand and guided her out of the apartment with the other hand at her back. Harm helped Mac into his SUV, no easy feat considering her dress was rather form fitting, not that he was about to complain as it accentuated her incredible figure. He then stowed her bag with his in the back. "I thought about bringing the Corvette," he said as he started the SUV. "Then I realized we'd never fit our bags in the space they call a trunk." "That's okay. The SUV is nice, too," Mac said with a smile. "Oh!" Harm exclaimed and twisted around to reach behind Mac's seat. Mac looked worried until he pulled out a single, long-stemmed, white rose and handed it to her. "The white rose means peace," he said. "It represents the overall peace I feel whenever I am with you." "Its lovely. Thank you," Mac said with a smile. She raised the rose to her face and sniffed its fragrance. The hour long drive passed quickly. He told her about his trip to San Diego and she gave him a brief run-down on her current case. It seemed like no time at all until they pulled up in front of the sprawling inn. A valet collected their bags while Harm helped Mac out of the vehicle. The check-in process was quick. Their bags and coats were sent to their room, while Harm and Mac were escorted to their private dining area. Their booth table was set into an alcove in a hallway between the parlor and the main dining room. They sat side-by-side facing large windows and imagined that the view was spectacular during the day. To minimize intrusions by the wait staff, the meal was pre-selected. A steward poured sparkling apple cider into champagne flutes for both of them as soon as they were seated. A tuxedo clad waiter placed salads in front of them. "When you are ready for your soup or if you need anything else, just ring the bell," he said pointing to a small brass bell sitting on the corner of the table. "Thank you," Harm said with a small nod. Turning to Mac, he asked, "Pretty nice, huh?" "Nice? This is incredible, Harm. Thank you for bringing me here," Mac replied. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, taking care not to leave her lipstick on his cheek like she did once before. "My pleasure, Sarah," Harm said with a smile. "I wanted our first Valentine's Day together to be incredibly special." He looked away for a few moments. Mac noticed his faraway look and touched his arm gently. When he was looking at her again, she asked, "Is something wrong?" Harm shook his head. "Just lost in my thoughts for a moment. I have some confessions to make to you." "Oh?" Mac asked with a slightly concerned look on her face. She put a forkful of salad into her mouth and raised one eyebrow to ask if he was planning on continuing. "Do you remember last year when I filled in for the Admiral while he was on vacation?" Harm asked. "When Gunny was shot, right?" Mac inquired. "Right. And I hit my head." Harm clarified. He waited for her to indicate that she remembered before continuing. "I never told anyone this, but I had a few hallucinations after I hit my head." Mac looked intrigued and waited for him to continue. "Do you remember me calling you `sweet thing'?" Harm asked and took a sip of his drink. "Yes. You never did explain that comment," Mac replied. She raised her glass to her lips. "I was too embarrassed. I thought you were wearing a long, white dress and that you told me it was going to rain, which was a perfect time to make love," Harm said sheepishly. Mac nearly spit out the apple cider she had just sipped. Somehow, she managed to swallow it. "Oh, really?" She asked, trying not to laugh. `I wonder what he would have done next if he hadn't snapped out of it,' she wondered to herself. "You said you had a few hallucinations. Did they all involve me?" She asked. Harm nodded and looked away for a moment. "I also thought I saw you leaving the office in another long dress. You didn't say anything. You just gave me a sultry look and a wave." Harm paused for a moment. "Did anyone else witness you having these hallucinations?" Mac asked. Harm nodded. "Bud was in the office for that last one. And Renee caught me in one." A funny look crossed Mac's face at the mention of the video princess, but it was so brief, Harm thought he might have imagined it. "I was at home, sitting on my bed, when I thought I saw you emerge from my bathroom." Mac raised an eyebrow and asked, "And what was I wearing in this one?" Harm's eyes locked with hers. "A towel. Only a towel," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. He swallowed hard in an attempt to control his hormones, which were threatening to rage out of control at the mere memory of the hallucination. "I asked you what you were doing there, and you said that you couldn't get too much of a good thing and wanted to pick up where we had left off the night before. We leaned towards each other and whispered each other's name. We were less than an inch from kissing when Renee's voice snapped me out of the hallucination. I was surprised she didn't slap me," Harm finished. "I would have if I had been in her shoes," Mac said. "I assume she wasn't too pleased." "That would be a correct assumption, counselor," he replied with a grin. Switching gears momentarily, he asked if she was ready for her soup. She nodded and he rang the bell for the waiter. The waiter arrived moments later with their cream of potato soup and another long-stemmed rose for Mac. This one was yellow. Mac took the proffered rose and smiled her thanks at Harm. "This one represents our friendship. You have been a wonderful friend to me, Mac. I don't know if I would have found out about my father if you hadn't stuck by me in Russia," Harm said to her. She couldn't find words so she looked deep into his eyes and touched his cheek with her fingers. He took her hand and kissed it, his eyes never leaving hers. "We should eat our soup before it gets cold," he said. When they were finished with their soup, Harm asked, "Would you care to take a few turns around the dance floor before the main course?" Mac smiled and said, "Yes. Thank you." Harm stood and walked around the table to offer her his arm and escorted her to the dance floor. "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon was just beginning as they reached the edge of the floor. He led her to an open spot on the floor and wrapped his arms around her waist. She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. "I think this song is perfect for us right now," Harm said softly. Mac raised her head to look at him. "Why is that?" She asked. "Because I fought my feelings for you for a long time," he replied. "I was so afraid that if we got involved romantically, that either one of us could be forced to leave JAG to avoid the possibility of fraternization, or that if things didn't work out between us, we'd lose the close friendship and working relationship we had built. I figured having you as my best friend was better than not having you in my life at all. That's the biggest reason I couldn't let go that night in Sydney Harbor." Harm paused when he noticed tears forming in the corners of her eyes. He gently kissed the tears away. "I wanted so badly to tell you how I felt on the admiral's porch, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words." "Why not?" Mac asked quietly. "We were at your engagement party. I knew it was the wrong time." The song faded away as the opening strains to `Amazed' by Lonestar filled the air. Harm took a deep breath before continuing. "I momentarily forgot that when we kissed. I tried to put everything I felt, but couldn't say, into that kiss. I didn't really want it to end. And even after it did end, I considered pulling you back into my arms and kissing you senseless." "But you didn't," Mac stated. "Why not?" " Two reasons. First, I suddenly remembered where we were and who was on the other side of that stone wall. But mostly it was because I couldn't quite read your expression. I thought you were horrified by what we had just done. I wasn't too sure you wouldn't hit me if I tried to kiss you a second time," Harm admitted. "I can assure you that I wouldn't have hit you," Mac said with a small smile. "I couldn't quite read your expression either. I just remember thinking, 'why didn't he do that in Sydney Harbor?' I think I only went back inside because I knew if we stayed out there any longer, Tiner would probably have come out again." Harm chuckled softly. "He probably would have." He smiled his flyboy grin at her and she returned her head to its resting place against his chest for the remainder of the song. When it ended, they decided to return to the booth. When they were seated again, Harm rang the bell again to signal the waiter to bring out the main course. While they waited, Mac asked, "So, what made you finally admit your feelings to me in that cabin a few weeks ago?" "I decided that I had been given one more chance to tell you how I felt and that I might not get another one. So I decided to finally let go of that lifeline," Harm responded. He was about to continue when the waiter appeared with their dinners. With flourish, the waiter placed the covered plates in front of the couple and remove the lids. Harm had chosen filet mignon and a small lobster tale for Mac and salmon for himself. Mac appeared to be delighted with the meal. After being reassured that everything was to their satisfaction, the waiter left. "How is it?" Harm asked Mac after each of them had taken several bites of their meals. "Very good!" Mac announced. "Thank you again for tonight. Everything has been wonderful." She smiled at him. "I love you." "I love you, too," Harm returned. "I can't tell you how freeing it feels to be able to say that to you. If I had known it would be this wonderful, I would have told you a long time ago." "I'm so glad you finally did," Mac said before returning her attention to her dinner. You know, I wanted to tell you that night I got home from the hospital after my crash. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance because of what happened with Renee's father," Harm lamented. Mac covered his hand with hers. "You did the right thing that night. She needed you and you were there for her." "I know. I would have been a first class jerk if I had turned her away. But it meant that I had to turn you away. Again," Harm stated. "I survived. And we finally got it right this time," Mac said. "Let's not spend any more time tonight on regrets about the past, okay?" Harm shook his head gently. "I want to clear the air about our little `talk' on the USS Guadacanal." Harm looked at her for a few moments before continuing, "You asked me if I would give up my girlfriend to have you. My answer was, `yes' but unbeknownst to me, you had already left the room. We never got another chance to really talk until the end of the jagathon race." "Why didn't you tell me then," Mac inquired. "I didn't figure it would make a difference. Especially since Renee had already left me and I had hurt you." "What if she hadn't gotten engaged to the mortician?" Mac knew she might be setting herself up for disappointment, but it was something she really wanted to know. Harm looked at her pointedly for a moment before speaking, "I would have told her it was over. I might have given her a little time so as not to seem cruel by dumping her immediately after her father died, but I would have ended it." He studied her face for her reaction. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. "Like you said, we have finally gotten it right. I think 2002 is going to be a very good year for us." He lifted her hand and grazed his lips across her knuckles. "You ready for dessert?" He asked. Mac smiled. "I'll take that as a yes." Harm rang for the waiter, who appeared momentarily to clear their plates away. He came back a few minutes later with two dessert glasses filled with strawberry mousse and topped with whipped cream and shaved chocolate. Mac took one bite and declared it heavenly. Harm took a bite of his and decided he had to agree with her. When they were finished, they returned to the dance floor. The slow swaying of their bodies together and the intoxicating scent of Mac's perfume wrecked havoc with his hormones. Harm pulled back slightly to get Mac's attention. It worked. Mac quickly noticed that the lower halves of their bodies were no longer connected. `Its probably just as well,' she thought. `I probably would have embarrassed us both if that had lasted much longer.' She lifted her head to look up at him. He lowered his head to kiss her sweetly. He traced the outline of her lips with his tongue before she captured it between her lips. She sucked on it gently, pulling into her mouth a fraction. He pushed it past her teeth before withdrawing it almost completely. He rocked his hips forward so she could feel his burgeoning manhood against her stomach. She moaned softly into his mouth before pulling her head back. Paraphrasing a line from the movie, `Top Gun', Mac whispered into his ear, "Harm, take me upstairs and make love to me." It only took Harm a moment to answer her. "Oh, yes," he whispered back and guided her out of the room. They found their room easily. The door was barely closed before Harm pulled her into his arms and kissed her with all of the pent-up passion he couldn't reveal on the dance floor. When they finally broke apart for air, Mac leaned into him, their hands linked at their sides. "Happy Valentine's Day, Harm," she said softly and kissed him gently. "I love you." "And I love you," Harm said and kissed the top of her head, which was now tucked under his chin. Mac excused herself to use the bathroom. When she emerged a few minutes later, Harm was waiting for her in bed. He held the covers up for her and she slid in beside him and immediately snuggled into his arms. He covered her, his eyes never leaving hers. He claimed her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss that seemed to last forever and speak volumes. They fell asleep in each other's arms. Harm woke once through the night, content just to hold Mac in his arms and listen to her breathing while she slept. February 15, 2002 0630 Local Time Manassas, Virginia Harm awoke to Mac gently tracing lazy patterns over his chest with one finger. "Morning," he rasped. Mac marveled in the way his chest rumbled and vibrated when he spoke. "Morning," she returned. "Sleep well?" Mac asked. "Mmm," Harm breathed. "I slept lousy in San Diego. Without you. How did you sleep?" Mac smiled and replied, "Incredibly. I seem to sleep much better in your arms than alone." Harm kissed her forehead gently. "Much as I would like to spend more time in bed with you, we need to get breakfast and hit road so we can be at JAG by 1000," Harm said with a frown. "We could save time by showering together," Mac suggested, waggling her eyebrows and smiling. Forty-five minutes later, Harm and Mac had showered and were getting dressed in their uniforms. Mac emerged from the bathroom alone, leaving Harm to shave. She finished dressing in the bedroom and walked to the mirror to put on her make-up and change her earrings. It was then that Mac finally noticed the bouquet of red roses on the dresser. A pink envelope leaning against the glass vase read, "To my sweet Sarah." She heard Harm emerge from the bathroom at that moment. "Oh, Harm. They're beautiful!" Mac exclaimed as she picked up the envelope and inhaled the sweet smell of the roses at the same time. Her hands shook slightly as she opened the envelope and slid the card from inside. Harm came up right behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck as she read the card he had spent nearly an hour picking out. We've had our share of ups and downs, you and I. Through it all, you've been there for me Even when I didn't make it easy for you to stay. You are the light of my life, my best friend, my soul mate And I am so glad you are a part of my world. Happy Valentine's Day! Although some unknown person actually wrote the words, they expressed exactly how Harm felt about Sarah. Harm had added his own words along with his signature, "I may not be very good at expressing my feelings, but I hope to always show you how much you mean to me. You complete me for without you I am lost. Love forever and always, Harm." "Oh, Harm," Mac whispered as tears streamed down her face. Harm loosened his grip and she turned in his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Her tears soaked into the cotton of his dress shirt. After a few minutes, she lifted her head and he gently wiped her remaining tears away with his thumb before claiming her mouth in a sweet kiss. When they finally came up for air, Mac said, "I do have a gift for you, but I'm afraid it can't possibly compare with all that you have given me." She reluctantly left his embrace to retrieve the package she had placed in her overnight bag. "Sweetheart, you have already given me an incredible gift just by being here with me," Harm said softly. Mac smiled at his words and handed him the small, wrapped box. "I wasn't sure you would make it back from San Diego in time so I slipped your card into your briefcase before you left. Did you find it?" "I found it, but decided to wait until today to open it. Since I was home in time, I figured I would open when we were together. Unfortunately, it is still in my briefcase in the car," Harm replied apologetically. "Its okay, you can read it later today and sort of extend the holiday," Mac said. Harm nodded and began to unwrap the package. Inside, he found a photo frame with four openings. One held a picture of him with Sergei, taken when they first met in Russia. Another held a picture of his parents when his mother was pregnant with him. Harm looked questioningly at Mac. "I got Sergei to have a copy made of it for me to use," Mac said in answer to his silent question of how she got a hold of the picture. The third opening held a picture of Bud, Harriet, AJ, Harm and Mac from Bud and Harriet's wedding. The fourth opening was empty. "I left one empty for you to fill. The other pictures represent your family and friends, your past and present. The last one is for the future," Mac stated. Harm tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Mac, this is a wonderful gift. Thank you, so much," Harm said. "I think I know exactly what picture I want to put in the last frame. At least until I have one of just the two of us." He walked over to his overnight bag, opened a pocket and pulled out a photo and showed it to her. It was of Harm and Mac with little AJ at their godson's christening. Mac smiled at the memory. "It's hard to believe he's going to be 3 this year," Mac stated. "That reminds me. I have one last confession to make," Harm said. "Yesterday, I volunteered us to watch AJ for Bud and Harriet this weekend." He looked at her face for her reaction before continuing. "I`m sorry I didn`t talk to you first, but I knew you were going to be tied up in court all day. If you don't want to, I'll understand and I'll handle it by myself. Bud seemed kind of bummed that he couldn't do something like this for Harriet for Valentine's Day, so I made the offer impulsively." "It's okay, Harm. I'd enjoy spending the weekend with you and AJ," Mac said smiling. "And Bud and Harriet should have the opportunity to spend a weekend alone together." Harm smiled and said, "Good. I'm looking forward to it." He looked at his watch. "We'd better get a move on or we'll be late." "We certainly don't want that to happen," Mac said as she picked up her bag. "Ready to go?" "Not really," Harm said and sighed. "But, I guess we must." The End - for now.