TITLE: Four Stories, Part 1: Back 2 Good
NAME: Nana Syvenky
AUTHOR: nS
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Up to and including "Touch and Go"
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine, yada yada yada, but I still 
enjoy toying with them
SUMMARY: "...well everyone here is wondering what it's like to be with 
somebody else; and everyone here's to blame and everyone here gets 
caught up in the pleasure of the pain; and everyone here has
shades of shame but looking inside we're the same; and we're all grown 
now but we don't know how to get it back 2 good..."
NOTES: This is the first songfic in a series of 4 that I've written. It 
takes place after Lt.Cmdr. Pike leaves the party at the end of "Touch 
and Go". As you can see from the summary, this story was written based 
on Matchbox20's song Back 2 Good. Thanks to Jessie, for being my guinea 
pig and putting up with me and my thoughts. :)
FEEDBACK: Always welcome.

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Back 2 Good


"Wanna go get some fresh air?" I ask as we watch our significant others 
mingle with everyone else.

"Sure," you answer, "I think I could use a breather."

We walk in silence out of the room, down the hall and out the main 
doors. We stop outside and sit down on the front steps. You hold the bottle 
in your hand, scratching at the label. They probably never saw us 
leave. How long before they notice that we're gone?

"They won't notice," you answer my unvoiced question. "They're rather 
occupied right now."

I nod, smiling wryly. I look up at the sky and see the stars shining 
down on us. One star twinkles and I think that it's winking at me or is 
it laughing at me, mocking me?

"Do you ever get lonely?" I ask, looking at your profile.

You open your mouth to answer but then hold back. You seem to be 
re-thinking your answer and then finally you speak. "Sometimes."

"Me too, " I confess.

"Really?" you ask, turning to me and leaning back as if to take a 
better look at me. Obviously you are surprised by my answer.

"Yeah, really," I answer, mimicking your surprised reply.

"Doesn't he make you happy?" you ask, straight to the point.  You are 
direct when you want to be.

"Yes, he does, but we have our disagreements," I tell you, now 
scratching at the label of my own bottle.

"As do all relationships." You smile and from the look in your eyes, I 
know that your relationship with her hasn't always been smooth sailing 
either.

"Do you think we're being fair? To them, to ourselves?" I ask, studying 
the stone steps that we're sitting on. I can't help but give a small 
laugh. "Listen to me, here I am, on the verge of having everything I ever 
wanted, and I'm questioning myself."

I hear you let out a long sigh but that's the only sound you make. I 
feel silly telling you all this, but I need to continue. I feel the need 
to purge my soul because deep down inside I believe that we share the 
same fears, the same uncertainties, the same insecurities.

"I keep telling myself that it just takes time, that if I try hard 
enough, everything will be okay." I continue looking up into the sky, like 
I'm praying to someone up there to make everything okay.

"You don't sound convinced," you finally say, your head tilting up 
towards the same sky.  Are you having more luck than me? Do you see your 
answers up there?

"How do you make a heart feel something it can't...or won't?" I ask in 
reply. I have a feeling that we both know these waters well.

The silence hangs in the air between us and I think that maybe I 
shouldn't have said anything. Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you don't 
feel the same way.  I am suddenly ashamed of what I might have implied in 
my words. I open my mouth to apologize but then hear you answer almost 
inaudibly, "You don't."

Simple and obvious. I had just chosen to ignore it all this time. 
Correction. WE had chosen to ignore it all this time.

You finally look down from the sky and study the bottle in your hands. 
"So what do we do now?"

"I'm the last person who should be telling you what to do," I say, 
smiling a bit to lighten the mood. "What you do is up to you."

I take a deep breath and stand up and straighten out my skirt. "As for 
me, I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago. I'm going to 
make things right and tell him goodbye."

I turn to make my way back to the party inside when I hear you call out 
to me.

"Renee," you say, standing up and taking a step towards me. "I'll walk 
you in."

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back 2 good - matchbox20

it's nothing, it's so normal
you just stand there
i could say so much
but i don't go there 'cause i don't want to
i was thinking if you were lonely
maybe we could leave here
and no one would know
at least not to the point that we would 
think so

and everyone here knows everyone here
is thinking about somebody else
well it's best if we all keep this 
under our heads
and i couldn't tell if anyone here
was feeling the way i do
but i'm lonely now
and i don't know how to get it back to good

this don't mean that you own me
well this ain't no good
in fact it's phony as hell
yeah but things worked out just
like you wanted to
if you see me out you don't know me
try to turn your head, try to give me some room
to figure out just what i'm gonna do

'cause everyone here
hates everyone here for doing just like they do
and it's best if we all keep this quiet instead
and i couldn't tell why everyone here
was doing me like they do
but i'm sorry now
and i don't know how to get it back to good

well everyone here is wondering what it's like
to be with somebody else
and everyone here's to blame
and everyone here gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain
and everyone here hides shades of shame
but looking inside we're the same
we're the same and we're all grown now
yeah but we don't know how to get it back to good