Name:  Found
Author's Name:  Laura 
Email:  Outbackclan5@aol.com
Rating: R due to sexual scenes; NC-17 available
elsewhere.
Spoilers:  Up to the end of Season 8
Disclaimer:  The JAG characters are owned by
Bellasarius Productions.
Summary:  Harm and Mac are stranded on a deserted
island together and have to deal with their
relationship.



Found


The sounds of laughter and Latin music spilled out
from the bar and grill as Mac entered through the
crowded doorway.  After a long day at work, Mac was
hoping to relax, clear her mind, and maybe even get a
descent meal.  She found a booth in the rear of the
establishment, and leaned back into the corner,
kicking off her heals under the table. Groups of young
people dominated the environment, leaning over
balconies, playing pool, flirting with each other in
jovial abandonment.  A few couples tucked away in the
shadows, engrossed in private conversations.  Mac
really wasn't in a sociable mood, but there were
limited options in Cartegena this late in the evening.
 She and Harm were on a TAD assignment, and this case
had been particularly stressful and involved.  A
Marine had been charged with rape while traveling on
R-n-R, and he was currently being held by local
authorities.  The Judge Advocate General's office had
been called down to help sort out the international
legal ramifications.  Soon to be extradited back to
the United States, the Gunnery Sergeant was
unrepentant and had given the armed forces a lot of
bad press.  Columbian officials had been cordial and
facilitative, but the political stakes were high.  In
the context ongoing drug trafficking disputes, U.S.
and Columbian investigators used this case to battle
over legal boundaries and brought a lot of unwanted
attention to the waterfront community of Cartegena.

With all of the tension of this investigation, the
emotional distance Mac felt around Harm since
returning from Paraguay only widened.  It didn't help
that they could barely see eye to eye on any of the
key issues of this case.  Hopefully, they would
wrap-up their on-site investigative work by tomorrow,
and be able to return to D.C in the afternoon. Maybe
she would even have the chance to talk to Harm about
some of the unresolved issues between them during
their flight home.  Mac sighed in exhaustion, when she
considered all of the things left unsaid.  It always
seemed to be that way with them-lost opportunities,
missed communications, bad timing.  Would they ever
get it right, Mac wondered?  Someday... perhaps.  She
could always hope.  Her unrealistic, romantic heart
gave her little choice. 

Mac ordered an iced tea and sandwich from the waitress
in her limited Spanish and sat back in her seat to
take in the surroundings.  It was always interesting
to people watch, and easy to get lost in the sounds of
mellow music. Then she saw him.  Mac realized that she
had been unconsciously searching for Harm amidst all
of the unfamiliar faces.  She could spot his tall form
anywhere, even blended in to the cramped restaurant
decor and brightly dressed patrons.  His handsome
features always stood out in a crowd.  Mac was
surprised at the sudden gladness she felt on a
visceral level at just seeing her partner across the
room.  Harm often had that affect on her, although he
probably never knew it.  

Mac was about to wave to him, when her arm stopped
abruptly in mid-motion.  He wasn't alone.  Harm was
talking intently to a pretty blond woman, and they
seemed to be quite engaged with each other.  She
appeared to be in her early twenties, and gazed up at
him like a schoolgirl with a crush.  They were
obviously attracted to each other, smiling, touching,
and making small talk.  Mac realized that Harm was
flirting with her, and the young lady seemed to be
enjoying all of his ardent attention.  Mac knew she
should look away, but couldn't help herself.  She felt
like a voyeur into Harm's private life, but continued
to stare at the unfolding scene.  They stood close
together in the hallway leading to the phones.  Harm
had his arm held firmly above her on the wall and was
leaning in like a predator.  Come to think of it, Mac
had never seen him like this, stretched out and
seductive in full masculine form.  Although she had
often teased him about womanizing, Mac had almost
gotten used to the rather asexual Harm of recent
years.  Somehow it seemed strange to actually witness
Harm as an available bachelor, trying to pick up a
woman.  It made Mac very uncomfortable to consider
Harm as an object of desire for anyone else.  	

Harm flashed the attractive girl his killer smile at
something she said, and they laughed together, their
bodies coming in close contact.  Then, he moved in for
a kiss, and Mac reeled in shock as she saw Harm press
her up against the wall with his body.  The movements
of his lower half exuded sexual innuendo, and the girl
responded in kind.  Mac knew she should close her eyes
at the provocative gesture, but still she looked on. 
Harm seemed to whisper something in her ear, and then
took her hand to lead the blond out of the back door
of the bar.  Mac sat frozen at her table, and felt the
heat of emotions wash over her.  She was stunned,
almost sick to her stomach.  She needed some air.  Mac
got up quickly, canceled her order, and headed
straight back to her room.  She sat down on the bed,
and just examined the sallow green carpet for a long
moment.  Her heart was beating fast in her chest, and
she tried to gather her thoughts.  The first sting of
tears swelled up in her eyes, but she wouldn't let
them fall.  She fought the overwhelming disappointment
that could so easily envelop her.  She tried to block
out the raw pain of betrayal.  She had no personal
hold on Harm; she knew that.  He was free to live his
life, and enjoy a normal sex life, even with strangers
if he chose to.  As her gut clenched in dread, Mac
finally fell back on the bed and allowed herself to
feel the full extent of her sadness.  She gave in and
cried into the pillow.  Some dreams would have to die.

Outside, Harm walked with his companion around the
back of the building to a brick courtyard partially
illuminated by street lamps.  A tree hung over the
fence of an adjacent apartment building, and the
couple found their way to a secluded corner.  The
noises of city living could be heard in the
background, with occasional bursts of song and
celebrative voices.  Harm stood in front of his
unexpected date for the evening and resumed his
flirtatious advances, enjoying a reprieve from his
otherwise tedious life.  This woman was beautiful and
carefree, and so incredibly sexy.  Yes, she was barely
25, but who's counting anyway?  Her curves and youth
were as intoxicating as any drug.  Harm was tired of
being alone, sick of being immobilized with the
propriety and regulations in his life.  He was far
away from his dutiful world in Washington, and recent
events had propelled him to throw a lot of things out
the window.  Granted, he had gotten his job back in
the Navy, but the whole episode in Paraguay, even
before that with the murder trial, caused him to
seriously reevaluate the direction of his life.  He
felt like he was in a perpetual holding pattern.  He
wasn't certain of anything anymore...not the law, not
the Navy, not Mac. 

Perhaps it was the lull of the nightlife in Cartegena
with all the cafes, tourists, and festive lights. 
There was a feeling of abandon in the air, and Harm
felt its pull.  On an unconscious level, Harm wanted
to lose himself for just one night.  Either it was
going to be with bourbon in a bar, or with a woman. 
Since he was technically still on duty, Harm knew it
couldn't be with a bottle, leaving him drunk and
senseless.  Then he had met Heather, and he felt an
amazing lightness fill his senses.  She was bright
eyed and fun, and kept him off guard enough to be a
little bit of a challenge.  Their casual conversation
had spiked his attention, and Harm was surprised to
find Heather quite interesting on a number of levels. 
Of course, it had never been difficult for Harm to
find something attractive about most women.  Harm
liked their company and felt at ease around the
opposite sex. With Heather, though, something special
had caught his fancy on this, his evening of escape. 
It wasn't just her striking figure or gifted social
skills.  She was unpretentious and spontaneous. The
daughter of a Navy Captain who grew up overseas, she
was temporarily traveling with friends on vacation. 
Heather had led a remarkable life thus far.  Foremost,
she struck Harm as being completely unburdened my any
emotional hang-ups or obligations. It was refreshing
for once to not have any tangled history to muddle
through.  There were no hidden land mines or sensitive
subjects.  There was only Harm and this available
woman, opening up herself to him....daring him with
her wide-eyes to push further.  And he did.

When the right moment came, Harm rested his hands at
the small of Heather's back and began a passionate
kiss.  It quickly got out of control, and they became
lost in a sensual embrace.  He slowly leaned her back
towards the dividing wall, and pressed his form
against her.  Harm felt so alive and invigorated with
sexual energy.  He wanted more, and he could tell by
the way Heather returned his advances that the feeling
was mutual.  She spread her legs and arched her body
into his.  Harm could feel the heat of Heather's
flushed skin underneath her thin cotton shirt.  The
smell of her shampoo and perfume filled his senses, as
he kissed the nape of her neck with uneven breath. 
His hands freely roamed over her physique.  It would
be so easy to take this somewhere else and let the
full force of his libido play out.  It had been nearly
two years since he'd had sex with a woman.  He wanted
her, and let her know it. 

At some point, Heather pulled back and looked into his
eyes with an expression of anticipation.  She asked if
he had a room somewhere they could go, just for
tonight, and he smiled.  Here stood this
breathtakingly beautiful woman, offering herself to
him, no strings attached.  A thrill of excitement ran
through his body.  He studied Heather's attractive
features and found her proposition almost
unfathomable, since the whole interlude seemed surreal
to him.  Perhaps this was just another erotic dream
that would leave him unfulfilled and frustrated.  If
it was, he didn't want to wake up yet.  She was the
epitome of youth-long, soft hair, supple lips, slender
arms.  Her face held no visible lines of age, no trace
of hardness or struggle.  He wanted to fall into her
hazel eyes and absorb her loveliness into his soul. 
Harm stole another kiss from her in response to her
question, and ran his tongue inside her mouth
sensually.  She was so pliant and yielding.  He felt
incredibly aroused, and his body instinctively yearned
for consummation. Yet, a nagging thought entered his
mind, far away at first...but more pressing by the
second.  He tried to drive it away, but it became
unrelenting.  Oh, how he wanted to experience the
ecstasy of physical pleasure.  He longed for that
sweet intimacy with her, to adore her, to have her... 
But...no,...he couldn't do it.  

Just a little longer, his more primitive self argued. 
It felt so good, so unbelievably exhilarating to touch
her.  He had only been given a taste, a glimpse of
what he could have...but it was too late.  His
conscience had already cut him off.  Damn it.  Why did
he have to care?  Why couldn't he settle for comfort
sex?  But there were just too many reasons why it was
wrong, and he couldn't hide from the truth.  He was
nearly forty and had no business with someone her age.
 He also knew he'd never see her again.  Contrary to
what some had believed of him, Harm had never had a
one night stand.  He had always engaged in serial
monogamy.  Sex had always happened out of the context
of a relationship, although his weekend fling with
Kate Pike might have been the only exception.  Even in
that case, Kate had not been a virtual stranger that
he met in a bar.  Sadly, Harm knew it wasn't in his
nature to sleep around, and had to put a stop this
encounter.  He almost felt like a coward.  Why
couldn't he go through with it?  Other men did.     

With great internal regret, Harm brought his hands up
to Heather's bare shoulders and met her curious eyes,
still glazed over with sexual excitement.  He let her
down gently, and apologized for leading her on.  He
tried to smooth things over with a half-hearted
explanation, all the while he touching her cheek
tenderly with his left hand.  It was going to take
while to bounce back from this one. He knew he had to
calm down and think more clearly, or he could still
abandon his morals with this pretty woman.  His
respect for Heather only grew once he observed her
reaction.  She seemed to understand his ambivalence
and responded maturely, without taking it as a
personal rejection.  Harm was grateful for her
kindness and restraint. A few minutes passed, and both
of them were reluctant to lose physical contact with
each other.  Heather rested her head on Harm's
shoulder and they simply swayed together in a silent
dance.  Finally, after some awkward dialogue, Harm
offered to walk her home, and she politely declined. 
She seemed disappointed, but Harm pulled her into an
affectionate hug.  Then, their paths parted, and Harm
watched her walk back into the well-lit building.  

He stood there alone for a while, staring up at the
night sky, trying to make sense of what just happened,
what might have transpired.  He felt a chill in the
air, and was acutely aware of how disconnected he felt
from the world of happy, normal people...in
relationships, creating lives together, making
commitments, making love.  With much
self-recrimination, Harm headed off down a dark alley
and emerged onto the main city street, amidst
horse-drawn carriages and white-washed hotels.  He
walked aimlessly for nearly two hours, down
cobblestone sidewalks, across bridges, and finally
along the beach front.  He sat down in the sand, and
just listened to the waves crashing with ominous power
against the eroded fortress walls of the city.  He
always felt at home at the beach, but not this time. 
He didn't feel comfortable in his own skin.  He wanted
resolution, but could find none.  Eventually, he
returned to his hotel room and fell face down on his
bed in defeat.  His spirit was utterly dejected.  He
thought about Mac in the next room over.  Although it
was irrational, he partially blamed this whole
situation on her.  She was with Webb now.  That was
her choice.  As he lay there filled with mixed
emotions, he assessed the state of his affairs.  He
was a grown man, an emotional cripple really, still
celibate after two years, still semi-aroused, lonesome
and depressed.  He was once again left alone.  



*********************************************************************************************


	
The next morning over breakfast, both Harm and Mac
found it difficult to continue the facade of a working
relationship.  They were formal and guarded with each
other, but for appreciably different reasons.  Harm
noticed that Mac made little eye contact with him and
wore sunglasses as they headed off to the marina,
atypical behavior for his partner.  He thought it was
odd, but, frankly, didn't care enough to pursue the
reason for her cool demeanor.  He was in a
disagreeable state of mind himself.  

When they found the right tour boat operator at the
docks, Harm and Mac gathered as much information as
they could through translation and were relieved to
find an individual who spoke some English.  In full
uniform, they stood on the dock for the better part of
an hour, asking questions about one of the last places
the accused Marine had taken the victim.  The
mid-morning heat was quickly becoming oppressive. Harm
and Mac prodded for any eye witnesses who might have
seen the couple and queried the boat operators about
their daily schedules, customers, and offshore routes.
 For some unidentifiable reason, a tension seemed to
be building in the strained, confused conversation
that followed, but it was easily attributed to the
language barrier and sensitive subject matter. They
politely requested to hire a speedboat for a visit to
the nearby Rosario Islands, a tourist destination
pertinent to the investigation.  An older man named
Carlos agreed to take them out. Although Harm felt an
instant unease around the senior boat driver, he
continued making arrangements for the tour. Harm noted
the man's defensiveness, but shrugged off any nagging
distrust he had with his own expedience.  He wanted
this assignment over.  He deliberately ignored his
instincts that something was amiss.  Additionally, he
was reassured by the observation that his partner
didn't seem at all concerned.  Harm and Mac got into
the vessel, and asked to store their two carry-on bags
in an out of the way place.  They had decided to check
out of their hotel early and go directly from the
marina the airport, after this last piece of the local
investigation was completed.  It was an unspoken
understanding that both Harm and Mac wanted to return
to D.C. at the earliest opportunity.  They shared a
tacit hope of getting some physical distance from each
other after the events of the previous evening. 

Once the boat was underway, the motor droned on and
waves crashed against the hull rhythmically, lulling
Harm and Mac into a sleep-deprived daze.  They rode in
silence, each in their own contemplative world.  Harm
thought that this excursion might have actually been
nice if it weren't for the fact that he was so
preoccupied with the problems in his personal life. 
The sun was already bright in the sky and the ocean
sparkled brilliantly around them.  The islands were
about 50 miles offshore, filled with beautiful white
powdery beaches and a few hidden tourist attractions. 
Harm noticed a number of scattered smaller islands,
but assumed they were still heading towards a larger
destination.  He had to admit that his job had its
benefits.  He was being paid to visit a tropical
paradise.  What Harm didn't notice was that the boat
driver was heading out to sea, away from the safety of
the Rosarios.  

After nearly two hours of boating, Mac began to wonder
why it was taking them so long to reach the main
island group. She looked off the distance and could
see no land in any direction, except one relatively
small island.  They seemed to be headed towards it,
which registered as a bit strange to Mac.  She
remembered the brochures she had seen, and this just
didn't seem fit.  Still, she tried to relax and quell
her growing concern.  As they drew closer to the
solitary land mass, Mac realized that Carlos had cast
a number of nervous glances their way.  Something was
wrong.  She felt it.  She tried to alert Harm, but his
head was turned.  When they were within swimming range
of the sandy beach, all at once, Carlos turned the
engine down to an idle and pulled a gun on them.  

"Get out, now!"  His eyes were hard and never veered
from their stunned faces.

"What...what are you doing?" Mac asked in alarm.

"We don't need any nosy Americans coming around
here...asking questions, bringing in some heat..."

Harm lifted his hands in surrender and cautiously
tried to reason with him..."Wait, you've got us all
wrong.  We're just here for a legal investigation of
..."

"Shut up!  Get in the water!!"  He seemed completely
serious, and a little frantic around the edges.  He
was obviously not someone who could be negotiated
with.  He waved the gun, and started yelling in
Spanish.

"You're just going to leave us here, treading water in
the middle of nowhere!!  You must be crazy!! Who's
going to find us?"  Mac continued on a tirade, and
began to stand up to her perpetrator. 

Harm tried to intervene since he could see the
desperation and panic in the man's eyes. This guy was
obviously in a lot of trouble and wasn't thinking
clearly.  It was probably drug related, which meant he
and Mac were in way over their heads.  Harm knew they
could actually get killed in such an unstable
situation.  Clearly, they had inadvertently messed
with the wrong people.  If he could only get his
footing on the boat and a timely diversion from Mac,
maybe he could take Carlos down.  Come on, Mac...where
are those Marine instincts?  Don't rile up the man any
more than he already is!  Back down, ease off...

But Mac kept at him, and Carlos became increasingly
agitated.  He shot the gun off in the air, and yelled
a last warning at them, leaning forward to shove Mac
off the boat.  Harm was still too far away to jump
him, so instead lunged to protect Mac from any
bullets.  She fell in the water and Harm dived after
her, knowing it was too late to have a fighting
advantage with Carlos.  He came up for air, and
realized that he at least had to bargain for the
necessities of survival.  

"Leave us an emergency kit, something..." Harm
pleaded, partially shocked by the immersion in
salt-water.  Mac splashed near him, preparing to
launch another verbal attack.  

Carlos kicked up the engine, but kept the boat in
neutral for a moment.  He seemed to consider their
pitiful predicament.

"You left us near an island, so just throw us a few
other things..." Harm argued.

"!Càllate!" he shouted.   Then in haste, he dumped
over their luggage and a small orange box.  He revved
up the motor, turned his back, and sped off full
throttle, leaving a trail of white foam in his wake. 
This isn't happening, Harm thought.  But it was, as
horrible as it seemed.  Acting fast, Harm dove down to
grab their sinking bags, and Mac followed.  He found
one, and came to the surface in flurry of effort.  It
felt like dead weight, but he wasn't going to let go. 
He saw Mac rise, and struggle to remain afloat, and he
called to her through mouthfuls of water, imploring
her to just leave the bag.  She refused and began to
swim lamely towards the shore.  It wasn't that far. 
Harm could just come back later for the bag.  He saw
no point in Mac exhausting herself with such a
ridiculous task.  The flight bags were like lead. 
Yet, Mac, ever proud, ignored his message and forged
on.  Harm managed to grasp the plastic orange box
before it floated out of reach, and made his way
towards the beach behind Mac.  After twenty minutes,
they both staggered out of the waves and fell on the
sand.  They lay there in two motionless heaps, each
breathing heavily and resting their depleted muscles. 
   

"Damn it!" Mac cursed under her breath.  "What just
happened?  How did this happen?"

"I think we stumbled upon some drug trafficking
operation....That's the only thing I can figure," Harm
threw out tiredly.

"How many Americans come to Cartegena, just for
vacation...or for work, and end up being dumped out in
the middle of the F------ ocean!!"  Harm flinched at
her swearing.  He knew she had a more colorful
vocabulary from her early years in the military.  "Why
us?" Mac continued. "This just doesn't make any G--
D--- sense!"

"Maybe he was scared off by our official status or
something.  He seemed to think we were investigating
them..." Harm slowly sat up and tried to think it
through.

"What are we going to do out here?  What the hell are
we going to do?" Mac asked no one in particular.  Harm
looked over at Mac and saw that she had draped her arm
across her eyes.  Her body was shaking slightly, but
he knew she wasn't crying.  She was just pumped with
adrenaline and mad as hell.  

"Well, we should stay calm and try to think about our
options."

"What options?  We have no options, other than sitting
here and waiting for some cruise boat to float by!"

"We're not that far from the coast.  Someone is bound
to travel past this island.  The truth is, Carlos must
have had some sort of a guilty conscience to leave us
near land.  He could have just as easily killed us. No
one would ever know."

"Don't give that bastard any credit!"

"I was only saying we're lucky to be alive."

"Oh, brother!  I wouldn't call our situation lucky.
Give me break, Harm...please!" she said with
exaggerated sarcasm.

Harm got up and decided to leave Mac with her
argumentative attitude.  This wasn't the time to talk
to her.  His clothes were soaking wet, so he pulled
off his outer uniform shirt, leaving his white t-shirt
in place.  The noonday sun would dry the rest fairly
fast.  Harm walked down the beach and tried to take
stock in their situation.  He figured it would take a
day for someone to notice that they were missing,
three or four before another boat might venture into
the area.  Regretfully, Harm and Mac had not informed
anyone that they were going to be visiting the Rosario
Islands as a part of their investigation.  Those at
JAG Headquarters would not know to look for them off
shore from Cartegena.  They needed to prepare for the
possibility of being stranded on the isle longer.  He
felt a little worried about the conditions under which
they'd have to live, but was confident that they would
survive this ordeal.  The island appeared big enough
to provide fresh water and food to sustain them.  They
were not drifting lost at sea.  He'd certainly been in
worse situations.  It was just a matter of time before
they were found.


*********************************************************************************************


By the end of the day, they laid out their belongings
to dry out and made an assessment of the supplies. 
Clothing hung from tree limbs and palms, and both Harm
and Mac trimmed down into attire more suitable for the
hot weather.  From their bags, they compiled an empty
water bottle, various toiletries, a dysfunctional CD
player, two soaking works of fiction, one magazine,
pens, sunscreen, and forty-two bucks.  Their legal
notes sat deteriorating in an inky, soggy mess.  At
least they had toothpaste and swimsuits, Mac thought
dismally.  Harm and Mac now regretted packing so
light, since they were left with such limited clothing
and necessities.  There wasn't a candy bar between
them.  The marine emergency kit was more promising, as
it yielded fishing line, lures, medicine, bandages, a
knife, waterproof matches, chlorine tablets, a flare
gun, and other survival gear.  Combined with their
military training, these provisions would likely
maintain them through the duration of their forced
exile.  Of course, the unknowns loomed above them.  It
was disconcerting to consider what could go wrong. 
However, they chose to focus on the basics, and hoped
for a timely rescue. 

Once an intake of their limited resources was
completed, they set to work on other pressing tasks. 
First priority was finding water.  Harm and Mac walked
along the western side of the island, and finally
headed inland when they found a stream coming out to
meet the ocean.  They followed its path until the
source of the fresh water was found-a trickle falling
out over smooth rocks.  It was apparently a funnel of
runoff from the mountain, collecting there after
intermittent precipitation.  They were thankful and
tremendously relieved to find it.  The water looked
clean enough, certainly not stagnant.  Since there
were no land animals to contaminate it, Harm doubted
it harbored Giardia or other dangerous bacteria.  Even
so, they decided to use their chlorine tablets for
purification.  They didn't have a pot to boil water
for future use, so they'd obviously have to make a lot
of trips to this water source.   It became apparent
that any camp site would have to be set up nearby. 

After they filled their water bottle and quenched
their thirst, Harm and Mac hiked up to the top of the
large hill through thick foliage and rocks.  They
surveyed as much as they could of the land mass they
found themselves on.  It was actually pretty long and
contained two verdant mountains covered in grass,
rocks, and windswept trees.  Lower down, the beaches
on all sides were lined with bright green palms and
various coves.  It would take hours to walk around the
entire island.  They were lucky to have been left on
such a hospitable isle.  Sadly, they could see no
other land in any direction, which meant they were
pretty far off-shore.  The ocean stretched out with
vast uniformity.  An awareness of their profound
isolation began to descend on them.  Mutely, they
headed back down to the beach and continued to
appraise their environment.  They found a few washed
up items along the shore and gathered them for future
use - a moldy shoe string, a plastic spoon, an empty
beer bottle, and part of an old fishing net.  At least
it confirmed that other people were within tidal
range.  It renewed their feeling of connection to the
outside world.  

Once a place for an encampment was established closer
to the fresh water, they began to discuss how to
assign the remaining jobs.  Unexpectedly, Harm and Mac
experienced considerable conflict over dividing up
these essential responsibilities.  They each had
different priorities and skills, and fought over who
should do what.  Mac's earlier irritability
resurfaced, and she became relatively sullen and
uncooperative.  She seemed resentful of any of Harm's
suggestions, and took offense at the slightest
gestures of leadership.  Harm attempted to disarm her
with non-threatening comments and his generally
affable nature.  Yet, nothing seemed to quell Mac's
defensive mind-set.  Harm figured she was just
distraught and tried to ignore the undercurrent of
hostility that he detected.  They were both exhausted
and a bit strung out.  They would find their niche
eventually, he reasoned.

It didn't take long for it to become evident that Mac
was outright angry at Harm.  She seemed to blame him
for being stranded on the island, although clearly it
was nobody's fault.  She criticized Harm's fire
building techniques and complained about his inability
to catch fish within an hour.  Mac was impatient and
abrupt, at times crossing the line into rudeness.  It
seemed out of character for her, but still Harm tried
to give her enough space to work out her feelings.  He
grew weary of her dark and unpleasant mood, but held
back an all-out confrontation.  He suspected that it
would only make matters worse.

While absorbed in fishing, Harm tried to make sense of
his partner's bad temperament and unhappiness.  What
was it about South America, anyway?  They had just
gone through a life or death struggle in Paraguay, and
now they were essentially back at square one.  So many
things had been left unsaid between them.  He hadn't
pushed the issues because he didn't know where Mac
stood with Clayton Webb.  They had hardly talked since
their return.  It frustrated Harm, but truthfully, his
stressed relationship with Mac was one of many
unsettled issues that overshadowed his personal life. 


By the time darkness fell, a nearly tangible tension
could be felt between Harm and Mac.  They hardly spoke
to one another and sat far apart around the campfire,
each lost in their own thoughts regarding their
plight.  The glow of the small flames reflected on
their somber faces, and the steady pounding of the
ocean waves provided the only break in an otherwise
silent night.  They were hungry, physically drained,
and both still in shock over being stranded.  With
that came subtle feelings of fear and despair, but
they chose not to turn to each other for support.  The
gulf between them seemed as expansive as the endless
water that surrounded the island.  Neither one knew
how to bridge that gap, or even had an inclination to
do so. 

Yet, Harm realized that their adversarial relationship
couldn't go on indefinitely.  If they were going to
survive, they had to get along and work together.  He
looked over at Mac, and contemplated the best approach
in dealing with her.  She seemed to be having a hard
time accepting their circumstances, and Harm thought
he should try and throw her the mantle of charity.  

"Mac..." he opened tentatively.

"What?"  Her dark eyes fixed on his, revealing no
warmth.

"I just wanted to know how you're doing."

"I'm okay. Why are you asking?" Mac's back became
rigid, as she leaned heavily on her hands behind her. 

"It matters to me. You seem pretty unsettled by all of
this.  It's a lot to adjust to."

"Look, we're stuck here on this godforsaken island
together, but I don't have to like it.  You're not my
shrink, Harm."

"Hey, there's no need to attack.  I'm just trying to
clear the air."

Mac physically bristled at his comment.  "What is
there to clear, Harm?"

"I don't know.  Why don't you tell me?"  Harm threw
back.

"I'm not going to play any word games with you."

"What is your problem?  Why are you so hostile with
me?"  

Mac was incredulous at Harm's probing.  She didn't
know where to begin.  They were not about to have an
honest, reveal all, discussion, right then and there. 
She wasn't going to drag out the past and bring out
all of the demons in her mind.  Harm was on some
mission to fix her again, and she deeply resented his
arrogance and pity.  He could just get off his high
horse, as far as she was concerned.  She didn't want
any of his kindness or concern.  He could save that
for his in-port girlfriend.  On some level, Mac knew
she was being irrational.  Still, she had moved into a
self-protective mode, and there was no going back. 
She was emotionally exhausted, and could not deal with
all of the mutli-layered complexities of their
relationship right then.  She felt compelled to close
off from Harm completely.  It was difficult to
suppress all of the anger and despondency that still
lingered from the night before.  Contempt was her best
defense against Harm's effort to re-establish a
connection with her, a tie that might be irretrievably
lost.  

Mac just openly glared at Harm, and in a cold, even
tone, she said, "There is nothing to explain, Harm. 
You don't need to rescue me.  You aren't even capable
of that this time, if you hadn't noticed.  You're not
going to be the hero, and I'm not going to be
worshiping the ground you walk on in thankfulness."

Harm actually looked hurt, which took Mac by surprise.
 Her words stung more than Harm wanted to admit.  Harm
was confused.  Why had her attitude towards him had
become so negative?  She seemed to treat him wish so
much distain, a feeling that Harm had never sensed in
her before.  He stared back at Mac, and was at a loss
at what to say.   Mac sat still, seemingly unfazed by
the bitterness between them.

After a number of minutes, Harm cleared his throat and
calmly stated, "We are going to have to be civil with
each other, Mac.  I don't know what's exactly going on
with you, but I hope you get over it soon.  We might
be here a while."  With that, Harm stood up, added
some wood to the sparking red embers, and headed out
for a solitary walk along the surf.

 Mac thought maybe she had been a overly harsh with
Harm, but wasn't about to make amends.  Of all people
to be thrown together with, why did it have to be
Harm?  She already felt confined on the island.  There
was no escaping him, or all of the competing emotions
that surrounded their partnership.  In the wake of
Cartegena, Harm was the last person she would have
chosen to spend time alone with.  She didn't want to
talk or work things out.  She just longed to be back
in her apartment, soaking in a bathtub, eating
chocolate, and wallowing in her sorrows.  

They had minimal contact the rest of the night, and
slept on opposite sides of the fire ring.  By morning,
a pattern had been set where they worked in tandem
with limited communication, setting up camp and
preparing for their necessities.  It bothered Harm,
and he dwelled on it throughout the day.  However, he
recognized that Mac's disposition was beyond his
control.  Something was obviously upsetting her, but
there was little Harm could do to uncover it.


*********************************************************************************************


Six more days passed, and their life consisted of
cutting down tree limbs and foliage for a shelter,
collecting firewood, keeping the coals hot, gathering
fresh water, and catching fish for their meals.  Harm
had actually gotten the hang of using the line and
bait from the emergency kit, and was glad to
contribute some protein to their meager diet.  They
were still in a constant state of hunger, but at least
they would not starve.  Barnacles, wild onions, and a
few berries also sustained them.  Disappointingly,
there did not seem to be any fruit trees or coconuts
on the island.  They used a grid of rocks over the
fire to cook their food, and devoured every last
morsel, tasteless as it was.  Their makeshift hut was
completed and would provide good protection from the
sun and harsh elements.  It had only rained on them a
few times, but given the tropical environment, they
prepared for more precipitation.  The shelter had a
thick roof and thatched walls on three sides,
interwoven with vines and palms.  It was set back a
bit into the trees, facing the beach and shrouded with
a partial door made of large palm branches.  The floor
was left as sand, since it was fairly soft to sleep
on.  It took nearly half a day, but Harm and Mac also
built a help signal at the top of one of the ridges -
a bonfire ready for ignition.  They even designated a
latrine area of sorts, so that the encampment remained
sanitary.  

On other fronts, Harm and Mac continued to have
problems relating to one another.  Harm grew
increasingly frustrated with Mac's disgruntled
behavior.  She was often sarcastic, and he was getting
tired of it.  Who would have thought they had once
been best friends?  He began to avoid interactions
with her, and she, too, seemed a million miles away. 
Her mood was pensive and tense.  Harm would frequently
catch her looking off in the distance, preoccupied in
thought, sadness written all over her face.  He wanted
to reach out to her somehow, and find the old Mac
buried deep inside.  He hated to see her so troubled. 
He missed the considerate and cheerful person he used
to know.  In the meantime, he tried to stay out of
range from her caustic remarks and glares.  All of the
conflict just left Harm feeling lonely and depressed. 
In truth, it only added to the pervasive
disappointment they both felt when they were not
immediately rescued.  Not one vessel or airplane came
near the island in nearly a week.  They settled in for
the long haul with immense reluctance.  


*********************************************************************************************


The novelty of being on a deserted island had
certainly worn off after twelve more days.  Harm and
Mac began to create a life for themselves, and
accepted the notion that their imposed vacation may
not be temporary.  The good part was that living with
each other for an extended period of time brought
about an unspoken truce between them.  It was
impossible for Mac to keep up her high level of
animosity against Harm.  She had to admit that he
wasn't all that bad, surely not malicious.  Mac had
vilified him in her mind, but confronting the real
Harm on a daily basis was disarming.  Sleeping next to
him and sharing meals together around the clock
eventually eroded her defenses.  She couldn't help but
soften over time as they did virtually everything side
by side.  Of course, Mac had her grievances against
him and kept an emotional distance, but at least their
relationship became amiable once again.  It was as if
a moratorium had been imposed on the underlying issues
between them. They had moved on without really
talking, but at least their new alliance lead the way
to reviving the friendship they once had.  

In terms of life experience, it was interesting for
Harm to notice the changes that transpired in them
physically and otherwise.  Both he and Mac had lost
weight during their stay, becoming more lean and fit
from daily exertion and activity.  It took a lot of
energy to maintain their camp site and food
requirements for an adequate diet.  Their skin had
grown tan from sun exposure, even though they'd
applied sunscreen to the most sensitive places to keep
from getting burned.  Over time, their skin had
adjusted to the intense sunlight.  They dressed in
comfortable light clothes, which quickly began to fade
from salt-water and sunshine.  Given their limited
wardrobe and the heat, this meant that Harm and Mac
put on only the bare essentials - usually shorts,
t-shirts, or swimsuits.  Mac also had her Marine issue
skirt to fall back on.  There was no way Harm could
wear his polyester summer whites in the high humidity,
so he utilized them as a pillow.  He thought about
cutting the pants off to make a second pair of shorts,
but somehow it felt sacrilegious.  He wore jeans or
his long sleeve shirt when the evenings turned cooler,
which proved to be a rare event.  If only he'd thought
to pack more underwear.  His mother was right after
all.

Harm continued to shave, although he knew his razors
would eventually give out.  He'd be growing beard in a
month or two, and probably end up looking like a
grizzled mountain man by the time they were rescued. 
Serendipitously, Mac had enough of her own personal
supplies to last her about two months.  After that,
she didn't know what exactly she'd do about her cycle,
but wouldn't stress over the issue until the time
came. Hopefully, they'd be found by then.  These were
some of the concerns that Mac never would have
considered relevant until she went through this
ordeal.  At the least, the whole experience was a
learning process.  Mac began to think a lot about what
she really missed from civilization, and what stood
out as most important were the people she left behind.
 Sure, she missed Taco Bell and long hot showers, but
relationships were central in the big scope of things.
 Harm and Mac often discussed how their family and
friends might be feeling about their missing status,
not knowing if they were dead or alive.  It was
difficult to imagine how much worry and grief their
misfortune might be causing others.  It was a
disturbing thought, but they were helplessly trapped
on their island of rock and couldn't allow themselves
to dwell along those lines very long. 

In any case, their tropical survival challenge
continued, with Harm and Mac counting the days and
completing mundane tasks. They rationed matches and
toiletries, hoping they wouldn't run out of anything
essential.  At least they knew how to start a fire
without assistance if necessary.  It was easier,
however, just to keep the campfire going with dried
wood and leaves.  They didn't want to waste their
valuable resources.  For sustenance, they were still
completely dependent on hunting for fish every day. 
There wasn't a lot of variety in their diet, but at
least the seafood provided some protein and fat for
their starved bodies. 

Mac tried to keep up her appearance, but saw no point
in being exactly proper around Harm.  She wore her
bikini when she wanted to, and gave little thought to
covering up.  Harm made a crack about her going
topless outside of Australia, but she just ignored his
commentary.  Mostly, she tried to be comfortable and
didn't concern herself with conventional decorum. 
They were on a deserted island, for goodness sakes! 
It was the stuff of romantic novels.  But, in
actuality, it was anything but romantic, given that
she had to hike to collect water throughout the day,
gut fish, and haul branches around during the rest of
her time.  If they could only find some more bottles
on the beach to hold fresh water, their life would be
so much easier.  It turned out that the little things
made such a big difference in their quality of life. 
Mac discovered a perfect example of this when, one
afternoon, Harm sought her out at the camp with a
mischievous twinkle in his eye.  

"It's Christmas time, Mac!" he said with a grin.

"What did you find?" Mac inquired.  She tried to reach
around and grab whatever he was hiding behind his
back, but Harm darted out of the way. 

"You have to guess," he dangled enticingly, loving
every minute of the suspense.

"A cup of steaming Starbuck's coffee?"

"No..."

"A family size carton of toilet paper?"

"No," he laughed.

"Oh, I know, some fish!!!" she said sardonically.

"Don't you wish..."

"Okay, I give...what is it?"

"Close your eyes," Harm directed.

Mac crossed her arms in refusal, but swiftly gave in
with an eager smile on her face.  As she stood there
with eyes sealed shut, Harm walked around behind her
and slipped tiny headphones over her ears.  Instantly,
the wonderful sounds of music enveloped her head.  It
was magnificent!  She couldn't believe how amazing it
was to hear musical entertainment again, having gone
so long without that kind of stimulation.  She took
the earphones off for a second and turned around to
face a smiling Harm, holding the CD player. 

"Wow!!" she exclaimed with excitement. "This is
fantastic!"  

"I know!  I was fiddling around with it, and I finally
got the batteries to work.  It was supposed to be
waterproof  anyway.  Who knows how many hours of play
time we have left, but I think we should just enjoy it
while we can."  Harm handed her the pile of CD
equipment and said, "You go first.  There's a bunch of
other CD's in the case too."

"Maybe we can share," Mac said as she put the headset
back in place, but pulled one side out slightly to
reach Harm's ear.  He leaned in to listen, but it was
a lost cause.  

"That's alright, Mac. You go ahead.  I've had it for
the walk down here anyway."

"Thanks," Mac said as she sat down and got
comfortable, enraptured by the stereo effect on her
deprived senses.  The intense song and lyrics lifted
her spirits.  Harm had pretty good taste in music, Mac
mused, as she drummed her hands to the beat.   Mac
thought she had died and gone to heaven. 

Yes, Harm wasn't all that bad.  Mac sighed in
resignation.  He was always just Harm....thoughtful,
earnest, forever protective, hot and cold, out of
reach, never in love...with her.  


*********************************************************************************************


What was I thinking about Harm the other day?  Mac
asked herself in dismay.  That he really wasn't so
insufferable, so unbearable to live with...?  Whatever
it was, now she knew otherwise...

Boy Scouts are always prepared and do their duty. 
Pound, pound, pound... Let's face it;  Harm was just a
big Boy Scout,  Mac reflected to herself.  She needed
to keep that in mind when dealing with all of Harm's
bravado and arrogance.  Mac collected another barnacle
from the shoreline.  Smashing and scraping the shells
helped relieve her frustrations with the Commander in
Chief of the Island.  He thinks he knows all of the
flora in their habitat. Apparently, he's qualified to
know what is edible and what's poisonous.  Let him get
sick then!  He could be the guinea pig.  Mac ruminated
over Harm's latest project of collecting plants and
roots for their meals.  He was so pigheaded anyway! 
It would serve him right to keel over, Mac thought, as
she pounded another barnacle against a rock.  He
wouldn't listen to any of her questions or
reservations.  He just waved off her doubts like she
was a small-minded child.  If there was one thing that
got Mac furious, it was when she was being discounted.
 She was a Marine, for goodness sake.  She had been
trained to live off the land.  Her opinions did
account for something!  Mac continued the battle in
her head, as she methodically picked off more
crustaceans.  Harm had basically dismissed her!  The
nerve of him!  Mac threw herself back into her tedious
task, and muttered under her breath.  Harm needed to
be taught a lesson in humility.  His day would come.  

It didn't take long for her guilty wish to manifest
itself.  Two days later, Harm drank some of his herbal
tea concoction, full of native roots and leaves, and
became very sick.  She knew that it was something he
ate.  His reaction was so sudden and violent, carrying
no viral or flu-like symptoms.  In contrast, she felt
fine.  It was actually kind of scary to see Harm so
beaten down.  Mac felt terrible about her earlier
malicious thoughts.  She hadn't wanted him to actually
be punished for his criminal level of stubbornness.  
She felt a twinge in her conscience, as she imagined
that she had somehow brought this upon him.  

Harm began throwing up at around 10 pm, and kept it up
throughout the night.  At one point, Mac sat quietly
at Harm's side and watched his fitful sleep.  He
looked pale and drawn, his forehead beaded in
perspiration.  A feeling of worry began to spread
across Mac.  What if he took a turn for the worse, and
this was more than just a stomach toxin?  What would
she do if his condition deteriorated?  There was no
other help to turn to.  They were at the mercy of
their isolated prison of land.  A grave alternative
scenario was more than she could even bear to
consider.  Harm would be okay.  He had to be.  It was
just food poisoning.

Mac relied on Harm in so many ways - for safety, for
survival, and, as much as she hated to admit it, for
companionship.  In some ways, witnessing him so ill
shattered some sort of heroic, unrealistic image she
had of Harm.  He was human - not above the hurt and
pain the rest of the world experienced.  Perhaps she
had hung on too long to the illusion that Harm was
invincible.  On some level, she held him to a higher
standard than everyone else.  He seemed to escape
unbelievably close brushes with death.  He always came
out unharmed, always the victor, on the winning team. 
It was like his cocky fighter pilot façade made him
impenetrable to the capricious forces of nature.  His
distinguished flying and unmatched bravery in the past
set him up to be almost larger than life.  In truth,
he was just a man, bound by the constraints of his
physical body.  Yes, he was a remarkable individual,
with amazing courage and dedication, but he was also
imperfect and limited.  Deep down, she knew she loved
Harm for all of his flaws.  Mac's heart welled up in
sympathy as she observed Harm thrashing about from
some unsettled dream.  Damn him, for getting
incredibly sick on her like this!  Be well, Harm, she
pleaded inside.  Mac reached out and smoothed Harm's
matted hair.  In the darkness of the night, Mac
finally dozed off next to Harm's chest, her steadfast
concern for him never dissipating. 

At sunrise, Mac woke to the sounds of Harm rustling
around, trying lever his body upright.  He quickly
grew weary from the effort, and ended up literally
crawling out of the shelter to vomit outside in the
sand.  His dry heaves wracked his body, and Mac felt
compelled to jump up in aide.  Yet, she already knew
from earlier attempts that Harm was too proud to
receive any assistance. When he made his way back to
his bed of sorts, he collapsed exhausted.  His eyes
promptly closed, and he said nothing, just emitting
discontented moans once in a while.  He refused any
offer of water, and seemed to be out of it.  Realizing
that there was nothing she could do to improve his
situation, Mac decided to emerge from their housing
and start her day.

After a couple of hours, Mac came back to check on
Harm, and he was still asleep.  She touched his face
and was relieved to discover that he apparently had no
fever, although his skin was clammy.  Throughout the
rest of the day,  Mac returned to make sure he was
okay.  At least he hadn't thrown up for a while.  In
the late afternoon, she entered the shelter and was
surprised to find him awake at last, meeting her gaze
with wary, bloodshot eyes.  His color had improved,
and he seemed to have more life in him. 

"How are you feeling, Harm?"

"Better, I guess..."  Harm swallowed slowly and sat up
a little higher against the thatched wall.

"You know, you had me a little worried last night. 
You were pretty sick."

"I felt like crap.  I hate throwing up."  A look of
discomfort marked Harm's features, and one arm went to
drape over his stomach.

"Do you think you're going to be sick again?"

"No, I just feel nauseous."

"Here, let me get you some water. You're probably
dehydrated."  Mac collected the water bottle and
brought it to Harm.  He nodded in appreciation, and
drank it down. 
 
"How long have I been out of commission?"

"Well, you've been lying in here since last night. 
It's around five o'clock now."

Mac talked to him a little about what had transpired,
and described her theories about his condition.  Harm
listened to her assessment, but looked around the
small enclosure distractedly.  When he made a feeble
attempt at standing, Mac cautioned him with her hands,
questioning his intentions.

"I need to get up."

"No, you need to rest.  You can barely sit up
straight, much less walk around."

He struggled to plant his wobbly legs underneath him,
and ignored her gestures of protest.

"Harm, don't be stubborn!  Anyone can see that you
don't have the strength to walk."

"You don't understand, Mac.  I have to get up."  His
eyes implored her to accept his incomplete
explanation.

"Oh...." Mac finally perceived his meaning, as he
began to head towards the door with an unsteady gait. 
"Well, at least lean on me, Harm. You look a little
woozy, like you're going to fall over."

"I'm not going to faint."  Harm mumbled, trying to
maintain a semblance of pride.  Still, he reluctantly
accepted her support.  They walked outside together,
and Mac left him leaning against a tree.  

"I can take it from here."  Harm said firmly.

"Okay.  Yell if you need anything, " Mac offered as
she turned and headed back to their dwelling, giving
him some privacy.  Mac was sure Harm hated receiving
her help at all.

A few minutes later, Harm stumbled through the door
and practically fell on the ground.  He was completely
tired out from such little exertion.  He felt dizzy
and closed his eyes to compose himself.  He thought he
might even have to heave again, and fought for control
over his upset stomach.

"Are you okay?"  Mac's soothing voice surrounded him. 
His head swam and his abdominal muscles ached.  He
tried to focus on her words.

"I'll survive, "  he replied faintly, through halted
breaths.  He despised being so weak around Mac. 
Frankly, he didn't like her seeing him this way at
all.  He was sure the reality of being so violently
ill wasn't a pleasant experience for her either.  She
must have heard him gag and moan all night.  He wished
he'd been alone in his misery.  On the other hand, her
caring presence was so comforting.  In the deep
recesses of his mind, he knew she had been awake by
his side throughout the previous evening.  Mac was
there for him.  She never wavered.  He was grateful
for her, regardless of the awkwardness of being sick. 
Foremost, he was supremely thankful that she hadn't
said those dreaded words.... 'I told you so'....yet...

By the next morning, his strength had returned and he
seemed to be over the worst part of the illness.  He
and Mac were both enormously relieved.  From that
point forward, Harm demonstrated much more caution in
what plants he ingested.  There were no more
experimental soups or questionable mixed-green salads
on Harm's menu.  


*********************************************************************************************


Something changed in their relationship following
Harm's bout with food poisoning.  Perhaps it was
because Mac finally admitted to herself that Harm was,
in fact, an essential part of her life.  After being
angry at him for so long, she finally relented and
allowed him completely back into her good graces. 
Ultimately, it was because she couldn't help but care
about him.  He had a hold on her, and try as she
might, she just couldn't shake him.  She wished that
wasn't the case.  In the future, once they were
liberated from their island of captivity, she hoped
that she could meet someone else and move on, as Harm
apparently had.  There was little chance of  that
though.  Harmon Rabb, Jr. would always find his way
back into her heart.  In truth, he resided there
permanently.  Yes, it left her always wanting,
waiting, and feeling foolish.  She hated that.  It was
difficult to balance their friendship and her deeper
aspirations, especially when she tried to protect
herself.  She longed for someone to share her life
with, to marry and have children. Clayton Webb
couldn't be that person, although he made his
intentions clear to her.  Sadly, she knew she wasn't
in love with him.  She had communicated as much to
Clayton before she left for her TAD assignment.  Now
stuck on the island with the one person who could
break her heart, actually already had, Mac simply
tried to live within the bounds of reality.  She fell
back on the roles they've always played in a working,
caring partnership.  As much as possible, Mac
fortified the rest of her vulnerable psyche against
further hurt.  

Mac was just beginning to feel comfortable with the
new lines they'd drawn, when Harm had to go and push
the boundaries a little farther.  While on a hike
together, Mac slipped and fell off of a rock, nearly
plummeting down a sharp hill.  Harm arrived at her
side immediately, and gripped her in a tight embrace
without hesitation.  After establishing that she was
truly okay, he then examined her ankle with great
concern.  He took off her shoe carefully, and wouldn't
listen to any of her objections.  He held her injured
leg firmly in his hands, and seemed to trace every
muscle and ligament with his fingertips.  He was
exceedingly tender and focused.  Only when Harm was
convinced that she wasn't likely to have broken her
ankle did the look of apprehension leave his features.
While he completed his inspection, Mac was transfixed
by his penetrating gaze and strong hands.  How long
had it been since she'd actually been touched like
that by Harm?  It was a shock to her system.  She
literally shivered from his delicate probing.  Harm
insisted on carrying her back down the trail piggyback
style, and she gave in like a stunned animal.  He
positioned her on his back with her legs wrapped
around him, and slowly brought her down to the beach. 
All the while, Mac was left to revel in the solid
muscles under his shirt as they moved and tensed with
his exertion.  She didn't want to lift her cheek from
his shoulder or let go of her arms around his neck. 
She fantasized that it wouldn't end, that she could
maintain this personal contact with his body
indefinitely.  Disappointment lingered when it was
time to slip off.  Hastily, Mac drove her juvenile
yearnings to the back of her mind, and thanked Harm
for his kindness.  She joked about how relieved she
was that he hadn't tried a fireman's carry.  Actually,
that wouldn't have been too bad either.

Over the next week, Harm and Mac became better
friends, openly enjoying each other's company.  They
hiked together, prepared meals, and played mindless
games around the campfire.  Boredom was the only
explanation as to why Harm would cooperate.  Mac was
finally able to convince Harm to take a stab at
singing with her and goofing off with charades.  It
was quite entertaining.  He had a pretty good voice
and wasn't too shy about using it.  It was amusing to
watch Harm so silly and carefree.  She rarely saw that
side to him back in D.C.  Mac also fashioned a chess
board with little pieces in the sand, and coaxed Harm
into a few rounds.  They were fairly evenly matched. 
It was so good to have a mental challenge, in contrast
to their daily responsibilities.  Mac had always been
impressed with Harm's intelligence and skill when it
came to work, so it wasn't much of a surprise to her
that he turned out to be a descent chess player.  Just
one more thing to appreciate about him.  Mac loved the
competition, but wanted to win.  She was intent on
beating Harm at something.

Harm was exceedingly pleased that they had become so
comfortable together once again.  It made the lengthy
summer days on the isle pass so much easier.  With
Mac's bitterness long gone, it was gratifying to
discover how compatible they actually were. Gradually,
a certain familiarity developed between them.  They
swam with each other on the powdery beaches and hunted
for seashells side by side.  There was no need for the
pretenses or formalities of civilization.  They
brushed their teeth together after morning breakfasts,
and passed off bars of soap when one or the other
headed off to bathe.  When it rained, as it frequently
did in the tropics, they passed the time inside their
shelter by reading tattered novels and sharing
anecdotes from their previous life on the mainland. 
The boundaries of their personal space grew more
intimate.  Mac eventually thought nothing of hanging
her underwear up to dry, and likewise, in due time,
Harm didn't even have to ask permission to retrieve
Mac's hand held mirror for shaving.   If one of them
got up to use the makeshift latrine in the middle of
the night, the other would be sure to awaken, usually
setting the stage for quiet pre-dawn conversations -
sleepy and uncensored.  Sometimes they fell asleep out
on the beach under the night sky, other times in the
hut for protection.  They slept near each other
because they wanted to.  

With refreshing ease, they moved into a warm and
trusting relationship.  Harm felt free enough to
openly tease Mac about her limited cooking and fishing
skills, and she spared right back with remarks about
his not-so-Navy length hair.  Well, it wasn't high and
tight any more, but his hair wasn't full of dread
locks either!  Without missing an opportunity, Harm
decided to enlighten Mac on how much he appreciated
seeing her dance moves from afar.  When he made that
comment, Mac was at once the picture of
self-consciousness, and Harm knew he had gotten her. 
Flabbergasted, Mac didn't know he was even watching
when she had the CD headset on by herself!  They
laughed together in amusement.  Their newfound
friendship could handle a little sportive joking.  

On some days, they took long walks on the beach,
talking for hours about everything and nothing,
returning at sunset to their palm-lined house.  It was
downright domestic, and it filled Harm with subtle
contentment.  He could get used to the life they had
created.  At night they engaged in conversations
around the campfire and steadily became more open with
each other, sharing past experiences and thoughts they
had on a range of different subjects.  It had been
months, perhaps years, since Harm and Mac had really
talked with such candor.  Of course, they reflected on
their work at JAG.  But they also felt unrestricted
enough to explore more personal issues, like Harm's
recent murder trial and Mac's changing role in Chloe's
life.  Previous boyfriends and girlfriends also came
up.  Amazing as it seemed, they felt comfortable
enough to disclose some of their impressions of 
former dating relationships.  They even joked a little
about first-time experiences in high school and
college.  However, they never tread on the more
sensitive areas of their private lives.  It was an
unspoken understanding that topics such as Clayton
Webb or current girlfriends were off limits.


*********************************************************************************************


One balmy evening, while Harm and Mac were sitting
around the fire ring, they began to talk about their
life on the island thus far.  It had been twenty-nine
days since they'd been left on the shore.  They gave
themselves credit for all of the provisions they
fashioned out of their meager supplies, and discussed
the efficiency with which they now functioned in daily
tasks.  They worked like team, each doing their part
to help out.  

Harm was leaning on his side, with his head propped up
by his elbow.  His mood was relaxed and open, as he
stared into the soft glow of the fire.  Mac studied
him from across the small flames, and curled her feet
in the sand, thinking how much their relationship had
improved since they had first arrived.  She was glad
to be on good terms with Harm once again.  He would
always be her best friend, even if he did infuriate
her at times.  

Harm reminisced about some of the adventures they'd
been on in the past - Russia, Appalachian Mountains,
under the Arctic Ocean in a submarine.  They were in
sinc and knew exactly what to expect from one another,
like Batman and Robin, he mused.  

"After all this, being around each other 24-7, I'd say
were getting to know each other on an even closer
level, wouldn't you say, Mac?"

"Yeah, I get to hear you talk in your sleep, and step
over your dirty clothes.  We're like an old married
couple."

"Hey, I do not talk in my sleep!" Harm challenged in
indignation.

"How would you know?  You're asleep when it is
happening!"

"Keeter would have told me.  I bunked with him for 6
months, you know."

Mac smiled and said, "Well, granted he never mentioned
that, but there were a few other things he told me
once..."

"Wait a minute, what did he tell you?" Harm's
curiosity was sparked.

Mac giggled to herself.  "It's nothing. He was just
joking. You know Keeter."

"Ma-ac, what is it?  Did he say my feet smell or
something?"  Harm scrambled in his mind as to what
Keeter could have possibly disclosed.

Mac couldn't restrain a laugh, but waved Harm off with
her hands.  "I can't tell you.  You'll get mad, or
embarrassed...one or the other."

"Spill it, or I'll come over there and wrestle it out
of you!"

"These are my options?" she asked with sarcasm.

"Come on, Mac, tell me!  I want to know...really." 
Harm's expression was emphatic.

"Okay," Mac acquiesced. "But I warned you;  you're not
going to like it!"

"Fine...what did he say?" Harm said with guarded
interest.

"Well, I once asked him what it was like to live with
you on the Patrick Henry..."

Harm interrupted with a teasing smile, "...You know,
Mac, I have to wonder why you even asked him that..." 

Mac just glossed over his comment, "Okay, so when I
inquired about what kind of a roommate you were,
Keeter said, 'Well, Harm snores, he's obsessively
neat, stays up way too late reading, and, of course,
now I know the real reason why he developed night
blindness'"

"What?"  Harm asked in puzzlement.

"You know..."

"No, I don't."  Harm responded blankly.

"Um, you know,... the old saying...about why men go
blind..."

Harm blinked and his face turned a little pink.  His
mouth gaped open in surprise.  Then, he just gave a
spontaneous laugh and swept away his initial reaction
with a sense of humor.  He seemed genuinely amused by
Keeter's comments.  "I'm going to have to get back at
him for that one!" 

Mac couldn't help but joke with him a little more. 
"So, that's what life is like for a grown man on the
Patrick Henry.  Tell me more, Harm..."

"Ha, like you're gonna know..."

"I'm just curious.."

"Not a chance I'm going there, Mac!"

Mac just cracked up at how flustered Harm was getting.
 This was just too easy.

"So, I talk in my sleep...what on earth do I say?" 
Harm obviously wanted to change the subject.  

"Are you sure you want to know?"  Mac's eyes glittered
in mirth.

"Oh, come on!  Don't tell me it's that bad..." Harm
started to get uncomfortable with their conversation
again.  Mac thought she ought to help him out. 

"No, it isn't.  I'm just teasing you.  The truth is,
you just mumble once in a while.  It usually doesn't
make any sense.  Once you said something about snakes
and twine.  Your guess is as good as mine!"

"Not a clue..."

"Don't snakes have some hidden, deeper psychological
meaning...like being symbolic for evil, or something?"

"I couldn't tell you.  I don't really have much of an
opinion about snakes, or twine for that matter.  Who
knows?  At least I wasn't rambling on about something
more personal..."

"Well, I'll be on the alert for that, and put a sock
in your mouth if you do, Okay?"

"Deal.  Thanks, Mac.  Just don't suffocate me!"

After a moment, Mac said pointedly, "About what Keeter
said, I should also add that he described you as a
great friend and one of the best pilots he's ever
known.  He said he'd trust you with his life."

Harm smiled warmly, letting the kind words soak in,
and added, "Yeah, he's a good man, even if he does
spread vicious rumors."

"Of course, only ones that aren't the least bit
true..."  Mac had to duck at her last remark, as Harm
hurled a ball of swim trunks her way, leaving her in a
fit of laughter on the sand.    


*********************************************************************************************


On the next scorching afternoon, Harm and Mac both
found themselves hanging around the cooking area,
bored and aimless. There was plenty of work to do, and
they both knew it, but neither wanted to move their
lazy bones.  It was just so stiflingly humid.  Harm
watched Mac from his vantage point while he relaxed
against a log.  She was so pretty, with her hair damp
and skin rosy from her recent swim.  She wore very
little make-up, if any at all, Harm noticed.  She was
a natural beauty.  After all that they had worked
through, Harm had to admit to himself that he wouldn't
want to be stranded on a deserted island with any one
else but his Marine, partner, and best friend.  As
improbable as it seemed, Harm recognized that he felt
happy, more so than he had been in a long time.  Yes,
they were stuck scratching out daily subsistence on
their remote plot of earth.  However, in a way it was
a retreat from all of the stresses and hassles of
modern living.  Their life had become smaller but
simpler.  It compelled Harm to focus on what was
really important and to live for the moment. 

In a spirit of spontaneity, Harm came upon a great
idea. He slowly got up and snuck over to Mac's side of
the camp, making sure that Mac's form remained
motionless as she rested on her stomach in the sand,
head turned to the side.  With his weapon well-hidden,
Harm made his stealth approach on his unsuspecting
victim. The bright sun broke through the shady trees
in patches, and Harm patiently moved through the
camouflage of shadows.  When he finally stood over
Mac, he took a moment to consider his attack.  He also
couldn't help but observe her trim figure and smooth
skin, accented by her bikini.  You know, he had never
really noticed how sleek her spine was, how utterly
feminine.  Her back muscles were also exceptionally
toned.  What a shame to disturb such a lovely
collection of curves.  Oh, well, here goes nothing...

Harm lifted the cool water bottle high above Mac, and
let the first drops fall on just the right spot at the
small of her back.  Mac screamed in shock, as more
water fell on her exposed skin.  In a flash, she
jumped up and whirled around, ready for action.  Harm
laughed at the hilarious look on her face.  Mac
sputtered in amused fury, and then a wicked grin
spread across her face.  She paused for effect, then
all at once she lunged at Harm and put her combat
skills to good use.  She nearly decked him, but Harm's
lithe form stretched out of reach.  She chased him
towards the beach, and he allowed her to get close
enough for retaliation.  He wanted to be fair, after
all.  Mac squared off with him, and then dove towards
his chest with a couple of hand slices.  It was
child's play to Harm, and he couldn't restrain a hoot.
 He was taken back when Mac pulled some agile moves
and sucker punched him in his abdomen with a high knee
kick.  Any lower and that would have been really
painful.  They battled it out, and Harm was quite
impressed at how strong Mac was despite her petite
size.  The look of determination on her features was
priceless.  She knew Harm was toying with her, but she
wasn't going to back down.  At the last moment, Mac
found the water bottle and pulled it loose from Harm's
grip.  Now she had the upper hand, and Harm began
stepping backwards with his arms up in mock surrender.
 

"Now, Mac, let's be reasonable..." Harm conjectured. 
"You know I'm way too much for you to take on." 

Mac just sent him a saucy smile, and charged at him
with gusto.   She engaged his upper body in one
offensive maneuver, while placing one leg behind his
knee.  To his absolute surprise, Harm found himself on
his back quicker than he could formulate a thought. 
Oh yeah, Mac was good at this.  Well, his weight
should count for something.  Harm grabbed her foot out
from under her, and pulled her down to the ground.  He
threw himself on her and pinned her down, taking in
all of her battle cries five inches from his face.

"Quit squirming and admit defeat!" Harm commanded.

Mac fought back gallantly, and rolled them over so
that she was on top.  She began to shake the water
bottle over his face, and he yelled in protest.  He
wrestled her for the bottle, and they both laughed
through their rough and tumble play. 

Finally, after Harm had called truce, they both sat up
and tried to catch their breath.  Mac was a formidable
opponent, and Harm made a mental note to never
underestimate her.  He turned to look at her, causing
a couple of stray water droplets to fall from his
doused hair.  She seemed docile for a moment.  Maybe
it was a good time to make a treaty.

"Okay, let's call it a stand off...You're a pretty
good match, Mac.  You know that?  I'd hate to come
across you in the jungle, hell bent on eating me for
supper."

"What I want to know is why you attempted to mess with
me in the first place, Squid?"

Harm shrugged, not trusting his partner's calm
demeanor. "Oh, well...you looked entirely too peaceful
lying around camp.  If you're going to wear a bikini,
then you better expect to get wet!"

Without warning, Mac pounced on Harm's chest and
swooped him off-balanced to the sand again.  She
straddled his body and tried to fasten his hands above
his head.  Harm resisted and initiated plan B, which
was to tickle her senseless.  He got in a few good
passes, but she evened the score by reaching down to
tickle his waist.  Harm howled in defense, and tried
to squirm away from her, his T-shirt coming up
slightly and leaving him more vulnerable.  Oh, so he
was a bit sensitive to tickling, Mac registered with
amusement.  She stored that valuable piece of
information for future use.  Of course, Harm counter
attacked, and Mac shrieked with tortured delight.  It
was so freeing to get out all of their inhibitions and
pent up emotions this way.  Harm's side hurt from
laughing so hard.  At some point, their warfare died
down.  With unsteady breaths, they paused for another
cease fire.  Sand was enmeshed into their clothing,
but neither cared one bit.  It was nice to have fun
together.

Gradually, Harm became aware of Mac's position,
sitting across his lap in her bikini, her thighs
locked against his hips.  She was smiling down at him,
and it was easy to imagine a more sexual connotation
to their arrangement.  Harm could feel the weight of
her body pressing down on the front of his shorts. 
His hands were placed softly on her waist, right above
the silky fabric that she barely wore.  He smiled back
at her.  Mac was really cute when she got worked up,
and....you know, her bikini top fit her remarkably
well.  Harm's attention was startled into focus.  He
knew well where his roaming thoughts could lead him. 
Harm considered it best to move out from underneath
her before he embarrassed himself.  He didn't think
his emerging reaction would go over too well.  Harm
delicately lifted Mac off of him, and positioned
himself next to her with his knees pulled up.  They
continued enjoying the carefree moment between them
with comfortable banter.  While Mac carried on their
repartee, a strange feeling of self-awareness
developed within her.  Mac's mind kept going back to
the realization that she had just pressed intimately
against Harm.  It was the first time she had ever felt
his form through his clothing.  She hadn't meant to
cross any inappropriate lines with their hand to hand
fighting.  It had been innocent enough, but somehow
the familiarity changed things.  

After a while, they both moved to get up, and Harm's
knees creaked in dissent. "If you're going to wrestle
me with wild abandon, Mac, next time give me a
warning!  I'm getting too old for this!"

Mac just chuckled in response, as they brushed off the
sand and walked back to the camp.  The unacknowledged
sexual tension between them moved up a notch, but
neither Harm nor Mac would openly admit it.  

Mac tried to keep their conversation light, as they
settled down in the sand near each other.  Mac
stretched out flat on her back with her hands resting
on her bare midriff.

"Oh, what I wouldn't give for a Beltway Burger right
about now...with piles of fries...and a shake..."  She
stared up at the broad azure sky and conjured up the
delectable image.  

"No, make that a deep dish cheese pizza, with heaps of
onions and mushrooms...garlic bread and butter sauce
on the side..."

"Thanksgiving turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy,
spilling off the plate." Mac countered.  Her mouth was
beginning to water.  

"Thai vegetable stir-fry, with tons of noodles."

"Beef tacos and chicken enchiladas, smothered in
cheese..."

"Pasta primavera...Fresh sushi..."

"Haven't you had enough of sushi here every day?" she
asked incredulously.

"It is an entirely different culinary experience.  You
wouldn't understand."

"I can't believe you would fantasize about rabbit
food...Don't you want to just sink your teeth into a
juicy steak?  You're supposed to be a hunter, for
heaven sakes!"

"I can't help it if I crave healthy food, Mac.  It's
just the way I'm made."  

"Oh, brother!" She just shook her head in disbelief. 
"You're something else!  Next you're going to tell me
you're drooling over peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches!"

"That sounds appetizing to me!" Mac just rolled her
eyes.  Harm laughed and said, "Okay, okay,...we'll
both agree on a huge bowl full of Ben and Jerry's ice
cream, totally covered in chocolate syrup."

"Make it Chunky-Monkey, and you've got me!!"  Mac
sighed in delicious reverie.  "Mmmmmm, I can almost
taste it."  She closed her eyes, and whimpered
longingly.  Harm attended to her sensual expression
and her idle hands circling her belly button.  This
was getting to be too much.  He had to keep his
primitive thoughts in check.  All this talk about food
just brought out his appetite for something else.


*********************************************************************************************


After being on the island for one month, Mac didn't
think it was possible to discover too many more
secrets about her partner.  She was wrong.  Harm had
been fishing in a tidal pool for nearly 45 minutes,
letting out a cry of exasperation every so often when
an evasive fish got away.  Though it aggravated him,
he was in his element.  With his face down and locked
over the water in intense concentration, he stood
rigid and coiled for offensive action under the late
afternoon sky.  Watching Harm fish was endlessly
engaging to Mac.  He took his job so seriously, and
moved with such instinct in the shallow pools.  

As Mac sat captivated from across the beach, all at
once Harm yelled in exhilaration.  Mac looked on in
interest while Harm carried his prize back to her in a
rush.  He held up an enormous crab, as if to finally
impress her and justify his usefulness.  His eyes were
shinning brightly, and he grinned in the most
astonishing way.  Mac had never seen him quite so
overjoyed.  It was a new side to him, this uninhibited
and expressive Harm.  He stood there with his jeans
rolled up, hair tangled and unconstrained, and
crustacean dripping in his hand like an offering. 
Butterflies danced in Mac's stomach as she took in the
sight of him, so free and happy.  His elation was
contagious.   Mac felt like she was seeing Harm as he
was in his youth, full of life and eager to please. 

Harm swiftly cooked the crab over the flames along
with some other fish, and served her dinner with much
fanfare.  He gave her the biggest claw, and doted on
her incessantly as her mouth sunk in to the delicious
white meat.  Harm beamed with pride and satisfaction
when she made her appreciation known to him.  With
that encounter, Mac had reached a new level of
understanding Harm.  Back in the world of Washington,
Harm had always been an enigma, living behind an
emotional fortress and never providing her a way in. 
Yet, over time on the isle, Harm had let his guard
down with her and gave her a glimpse of his inner
world.  He was really a man of uncomplicated motives
at the core.  With the burden of responsibilities
stripped away, Harm was openly nurturing and playful
with her.  He seemed to derive pleasure from the
simplest things.  He turned out to be a surprisingly
uncomplicated person.  As long as he was given respect
and could contribute his talents, he was consistently
easy going and fair-minded with Mac.  She appreciated
the unfettered Harm all the more, his over-active
superego finally giving way to his true adventurous
spirit. 

Eventually, their feast came to an end, and Harm and
Mac cleaned up their camp to prepare for twilight. 
Their bellies were satiated for the first time in
weeks, and their heads buzzed in fulfillment.  Once
the sky darkened, Harm and Mac reflexively settled
down together on the smooth sand near the waves.  The
starry night illuminated their view, as they stared up
into space and talked quietly.  It was a dazzling
display of pinpoint bursts of light.  Harm showed her
a few of the constellations that he knew, while Mac
challenged him to spot the first satellite.  The stars
were plentiful even with the half-moon and seemed to
cast a magic spell on their mood.  The skin on Mac's
shoulder brushed up against Harm's as they sat side by
side. 

Some time during the past week, an almost involuntary
closeness had developed between them.  Neither was
quite sure when it happened.  It felt like it was the
most natural event in the world to talk like lovers in
the darkness.  Harm listened to the ocean and gazed
into the panoramic expanse of the heavens.  He felt
Mac's inadvertent touch and relaxed at the comfort it
brought.  Then, out of the blue, Mac sat up further
and tugged on Harm's hand, inexplicably attempting to
pull him up beside her.  At first he resisted, because
he didn't want to move from his spot or break their
intimacy.  Then he saw Mac's fervent face and willed
himself to follow her lead.  Without preamble, she
stood up and invited him for a swim, extending her
hand once again.  Harm was somewhat taken back by her
suggestion, but magnanimously agreed.  He took only
two steps towards the surf, when he realized he needed
to change into a swimsuit.  Mac noticed his hesitancy,
and encouraged Harm to just go in his underwear, since
it was dark out anyway.  

Harm vacillated for a moment, but then shucked his
jeans and shirt and ran into the waves, splashing
wildly ahead of Mac.  For her part, Mac was already in
her bikini and needed no preparation to dive right in.
 The weather was pleasant and the water, warm.  Night
swimming.... Why had they never done this before?  It
was exhilarating!  The ocean spray danced on their
faces, and they laughed together at the novelty of the
experience.  Mac could see Harm in the partial
moonlight, tall and bare-chested.  He tried to dunk
her and but she swam away skillfully, laughing with
glee.  While they rode the waves and body surfed, Mac
caught glimpses of Harm's athletic form.  He had a
runner's body - long, lean, and perfectly
proportioned.  He was just so good looking, Mac
acknowledged to herself.  He probably didn't even know
it.  She felt the pull of his sex appeal.  Mac
couldn't help but be attracted to him physically, but
it was dangerous for her to entertain such thoughts. 
Swimming with a half-naked Harmon Rabb caused her body
to do flip-flops, but she had to build up an immunity
to him.  She tried to focus on the wonderful
companionship they now enjoyed, and to drive Harm's
masculine charisma out of her consciousness.
 
They frolicked together until they were completely
spent, and crawled out to rest on the shore.  They
were breathless and high on adrenaline.  Water dripped
from their bodies, and Harm felt invigorated from
their exercise.  He cast a glance at Mac, and his
heart skipped a beat.  She was stunning.  Her hair was
slicked back, and body glowed from the light of the
moon.  Her skin was tan and wet, the outline of her
bikini searing a powerful image into Harm's brain. 
She was exceptionally beautiful.  Then she smiled in
that marvelous way of hers, and Harm had to get a grip
on his heart.  He was completely enchanted by her.  He
couldn't help but stare, spellbound by the vision
beside him.  

A strong feeling of sexual attraction curled in Harm,
and he tried to keep his breathing even and body calm.
 He was thankful for the shadows of the night, since
he felt self-conscious sitting near Mac in only his
briefs.  He turned over and provided some coverage for
himself by lying on his chest to dry off.   He didn't
dare move from his position for a quite a while.  As
his chin rested on an elbow, Harm continued to look at
Mac and felt a longing that he had been suppressing
for a while, perhaps since he first met her years ago.
 It seemed like an eternity of waiting.  He was such
an idiot.  He had missed his opportunity, because of
his long history of indecisiveness and ambivalence. 
He had hurt her countless times, and probably could
never make it up to her.  As he looked across at this
remarkable and sexy woman, he resigned himself to the
fact that he would not cross any lines that
potentially jeopardize the caring but tentative
relationship they had painstakingly rebuilt.  Mac
meant too much to him for that.  With a determined
intention, he stifled the more primitive drives of his
body and focused on the special bond that tied them
together.  They spent the rest of the evening in
hushed conversation, allowing the thrill of their
nighttime escapade to linger with them for hours.    


*********************************************************************************************


At dawn the next morning, Mac sat outside their
shelter, hungry once again and unable to sleep any
longer.  She watched as the light changed in the sky
from dim grey to glowing gold, accented with streaks
white. The waves lapped calmly on the shore, and
matched Mac's relatively tranquil mood.  Out of the
quietness, she heard faint sounds of struggle.  She
wondered if Harm was having a bad dream and went to
investigate.  



Mac moved towards his strained voice in the hut.

"Mmmm.."  

"Harm?"

	

"Are you okay?"  Mac hovered with concern over Harm's
restless form.



All at once, Harm was alarmed and fully awake.  His
eyes flew open, and he froze.  Oh, my God!  Did she
see this?

From where she stood, Mac felt a jolt of pure shock
reverberate down her spine as she realized that Harm
had not been having a nightmare.  Those hadn't been
the sounds of agitation, but moans of
pleasure...sexual pleasure, from the looks of his
position, face down, with his lower body slowly moving
against...Oh my God! Am I seeing this?

"Uh, I think I'll just step out now..." Mac uttered
carefully, as she backed through the opening.  Her
cheeks were flushed, and she was at a loss at what to
think or say.  How incredibly awkward!  She had walked
in on Harm having an erotic dream!  Mac couldn't
believe she had invaded his privacy in that way.

Inside the shelter, Harm groaned and rolled onto his
back, slamming his eyes shut and shaking his head in
disbelief.  It was obvious that she saw enough to
know....Oh, man, this was embarrassing!  With a heavy
sense of shame, Harm dragged his hands over his head. 
How was he ever going to face Mac after she'd seen
him....Harm cringed at the thought of what Mac
witnessed and must have heard.  Okay, it is not that
bad, he tried to reassure himself.  It was perfectly
normal to have sexual fantasies;  Mac must understand
that.  On second thought, it WAS that bad...because it
was Mac!  He had to get out of the shelter.

Harm flew around the corner and silently passed Mac on
the way down to the beach.  Abruptly, he turned into
the trees and disappeared.

Mac looked after him, and perceived how upset he was. 
She wondered what was going through his mind.  He was
probably just as embarrassed as she was.   He
understandably needed time alone to sort things out.

Harm walked up the hill and finally sat down on a rock
under the shade.  He took a deep cleansing breath.  He
was still reeling from what had just happened with
Mac.  He felt so exposed.  Well, it could have been
worse, he reasoned.  She could have walked in on him
30 seconds later.  No, he didn't even want to think
about that!   It reminded Harm of the time that his
mom had interrupted him with one of his first girl
friends in high school.  They had been fooling around
on the living room couch late one Saturday night, and
she entered the kitchen for a glass of water, only to
be shocked to her toes at the sight of her teenage son
all over some half-naked girl.  He had been mortified,
and completely ashamed in front of her.  His mother
said nothing, just left the room.  Soon after that, he
went searching for his dad in Vietnam.  It was all a
part of growing pains, he speculated in hindsight.  

Now, this time with Mac, the fact that he was a sexual
being had basically been displayed, no paraded, right
in front of her.  Well, Harm figured, she knew that
anyway after working beside him for seven years.  With
further deliberation, he finally decided to just take
this in stride.  He was a healthy male, and these
things happened from time to time.  Mac ought to know
that already.   The truth was, he had just been too
long without a woman.  Being tempted by Heather and
seeing Mac everyday wearing next to nothing didn't
help.  He'd have to get a grip on his hormones if he
was going to survive being inundated with her sexual
allure for weeks on end.  

Shrugging off the last remnants of anxiety, Harm cast
down the rock he'd been holding, and gathered his
fortitude to face Mac.  When he arrived back at their
camp, Mac was wading in the water trying to fish for
breakfast.  As usual, she looked so captivating, with
her long, tanned legs gracefully emerging from the
water.  Mac bent down to adjust her line, and then
cocked her head to look back at his approach.  She
gauged his mood and seemed to be waiting for him to
say something, but Harm thought it best to just offer
her a bashful smile.  It couldn't hurt.  He wasn't
afraid to make eye contact with her.  She straightened
up and smiled back, allowing the silence to speak for
itself.  Some things are better left unsaid.  Harm
felt a little unsure of how to proceed, but finally
forged ahead with a brilliant ice breaker.

"Good morning."

"Same to you..."  

"Think you can catch us some pancakes?"

"Think you can scare up some maple syrup?"

They laughed softly together and with that, found
their way back to their enduring friendship, letting
awkward moment number 342 fall by the wayside.  



*********************************************************************************************


Thirty-three days...that's how long they had been on
the island.  It felt like a lifetime. Eventually, Harm
and Mac deduced that the landmass they were on must
not be along the typical path of tourist boats or
flight patterns.  Just their luck...  They were
vigilant in keeping an eye out for any vessels, but
their hope eroded day by day when no help arrived. 
Mac felt like they had been transported to "Survivor:
Columbia" and joked with Harm about their ability to
outwit and outplay.  Of course, because Harm didn't
own a television, he didn't know what she was even
talking about.  It figured.  Reality television wasn't
all that it was cracked up to be, anyway, when you're
the one participating and there was no million dollar
grand prize at the end.  At least they hadn't resorted
to eating bugs. The birds looked appetizing, but they
couldn't catch any of them.  Fish were still their
main staple, and they were thankful for what ocean
could provide. Yet, images of bountiful food intruded
on their daily thoughts and permeated their dreams. 
Even Harm's meatless meatloaf sounded delectable at
this point.   

However, Harm and Mac were able to distract themselves
from their preoccupation with hunger long enough to
appreciate other aspects of tropical life.  They
enjoyed the serene beauty that surrounded them and
were revitalized by daily swims in the sparkling blue
water.  Sunrise and sunsets marked their days with
awe-inspiring displays of color and light.   During
one hike, they got caught in a sudden passing rain
shower and returned to their camp drenched and
laughing with abandon.  It was so unlike the
predictable events in their life back in Washington,
D.C.  In a strange way, Harm and Mac took pleasure in
the elemental level of their existence.  They relished
the variety of sensory experiences that characterized
their world, and savored the unique moments that
island life brought. 


*********************************************************************************************


Harm had taken up the habit of going for long walks in
the late afternoons, usually after their dinner meal. 
He used that time to search for other edible and
useful items, and to explore the environment.  Before
heading out on one occasion, Mac noticed that Harm
seemed to dawdle beside her at the beach.  He delayed
his departure and kept sending pointed glances her
way.  It was as if he was trying to tell her
something, but at the same time, couldn't formulate a
coherent sentence.  She wondered what his restlessness
meant, but she also knew that with Harm, one could
only guess at the inner workings of his mind.  He was
rarely forthcoming when it came to his feelings.  

In a short while, daylight would be coming to an end,
and Mac thought that perhaps Harm given up on his
solitary trek for the day.  Mac was understandably
caught off guard when Harm dropped the fishing net he
was working on and walked straight to her, planting
himself less than a foot away and peering into her
eyes.  He seemed so intent, as if what he was about to
say might shatter some kind of universal balance
between them.  With great thoughtfulness, he asked,
"Mac, will you come walking with me?  I want to show
you something."

"Of course, Harm, but what..."

Wordlessly, Harm took Mac's hand and led her down the
shore for about a half an hour, then turned towards a
break in the rocks that led up a hill.  His movements
seemed urgent and focused.  Mac followed his guidance
and they made their way up the steep slope.  It took a
while, but eventually, they reached the top of the
cliff.  Mac wanted to find out what Harm had on his
mind, but opted to let things unfold without
pressuring him.  He brought her over to a cluster of
smooth rocks and seemed to encourage her to join him
in a selected spot overlooking the water.  She sat
down and was surprised when he moved in behind her,
placing his thighs around either side of her legs.  He
put his hands gently on her shoulders and leaned her
back into his chest.  All the while, he was silent.

Mac relaxed after a moment and just took in the
spectacular view.  Now, she knew...he wanted her to
see the sunset up here on the mountain, to share it
with him.  A feeling of elation swelled up inside Mac.
 This was significant to Harm, and he was letting her
in.  The blazing orange sun was within minutes of
touching the horizon, and the sky was beginning to
fill with gold and pink hues.  A gentle wind caressed
her cheek and hair.  Harm slid his hands down her arms
and then seemed to pause for permission.  After some
kind of internal debate, he tenderly wrapped his arms
around the front of her waist.  He placed his chin
onto the top of her hair.  They sat there enjoined for
a while and watched the sun become immersed into the
ocean.  The colors were incredible, with deeper
purples and indigos accenting ethereal sky.  It was a
glimpse of heaven...their paradise for a moment in
time.  All of the conflicts, struggles, passion, and
despair which led up to this point didn't matter. 
None of that could compare to the awesome beauty of
the world around them, the magnificence of nature on
their private island.  All of their petty human
conflicts were diminished by a glimpse of the grand
scale of things.  Harm and Mac were on this journey as
one.  They would survive, and they had each other. 
The ocean spread out before them, endless and
timeless.  

Mac felt so moved that Harm had desired to share this
with her.  In all of her life, she couldn't remember a
more perfect moment.  She felt the hard muscles of
Harm's chest surrounding her, and could almost detect
his steady heartbeat through her back.  He squeezed
her tight and then rocked her gently.  She felt
completely safe and content, fully appreciating this
rare pleasure. 

Finally, Harm spoke, his deep, relaxed voice
projecting near her ear.  "I wanted you to be here
with me." He paused, then said thoughtfully, "We are
together in this, Mac."

A flutter traveled across Mac's heart.  She let his
words linger in the air, and reveled in the joy that
she felt.  If she never had another intimate moment
with Harm, if he never unveiled his deepest thoughts
or feelings in her lifetime, she would always have
this precious memory of him. It was a moment of truth
and honesty, with little talk.  Right then, it was
enough.  Harm held her until dusk came, and then they
quietly made their way back down to the beach holding
hands.  Neither wanted to speak, for fear that the
spell of closeness might be broken.  


*********************************************************************************************

Without overt acknowledgment, Harm and Mac passed
effortlessly into a new phase in their relationship. 
While avoiding any obvious romantic gestures, they
moved beyond the boundaries of friendship that had
been formerly maintained.  They were openly loving and
affectionate with each other.  They didn't hesitate to
hold hands on occasion and touched one another without
thinking.  They cuddled near the fire at night when
the impulse hit them, and wound up spooning together
in their sleep more often than not.  It seemed
completely natural, almost automatic, that they would
seek physical contact with each other throughout the
day.  

Harm couldn't help but notice the attraction he felt
towards Mac.  Even when she was irritated at him for
some oversight, Harm smiled inwardly at her strong
will and courage.  Waking up in the morning with her
brought him unprecedented happiness, even if she was
grumpy without her military grade coffee.  Mac was his
loyal and trustworthy Marine, who never gave up a
fight and called him on all his bluffs.  She met him
half-way - knew him through and through.  Amazingly,
she still accepted him, despite all of the mistakes
he'd made over the years.  She was also
extraordinarily sexy and fun.  It was never far from
Harm's awareness that Mac was a gorgeous and desirable
woman.  He almost wanted to ask her to cover up more
often, so he wouldn't always have to be bombarded with
her arresting figure or feminine wiles, but then he'd
miss out on all the gratifying stimulation that just
fed his fantasy life. The steamy weather didn't help
the situation.  It only made him more languid and
prone to sexual thoughts.  It astonished him that his
unchecked psyche could eroticize even the way Mac
traced fingers through her hair or ate food.  Being
alone with Mac everyday only reminded Harm of the
long-term deprivation he felt of a different sort.  

Mac felt the sexual tension between them as well. 
Harm could be covered in sand, sweaty from exertion,
and smelling like fish; Mac still found him
inordinately attractive.  All he had to do was give
her that winning smile or call to her in his rich,
warm voice, and she would go weak in the knees.  Mac
knew she was falling in love with Harm all over again.
 Yet, she felt helpless to resist his charm. There was
just this raw sexual energy that drew her in and
gripped her to the core.  When he was engrossed in
fishing, she took notice of his six.  While pulling
himself up into a tree, Mac couldn't resist a glace at
his well-formed chest.  Even when Harm was sleeping,
on occasion Mac would give in to temptation and trail
her eyes slowly over his body.  He was exceptionally
handsome to look at.  She especially loved to watch
Harm asleep because he looked so peaceful.  She would
trace all of his features with her mind's eye as she
lay next to him, enraptured by the clandestine
intimacy she felt.  His often stubble-lined face was
strong and comely, but he wasn't perfect.  She
observed his scars and lines of age, and she loved him
all the more for them.  It gave him character and made
him more human.  She would sometimes allow herself to
look a bit lower on Harm's male form and wonder what
he looked like naked.  He would probably be beautiful,
Mac imagined.  She'd likely never know.  Yet, it
wasn't just his physical appearance that captured Mac.
 Without effort, Harm continually seduced her mind and
heart, and left her reeling in his wake.  It's who
Harm was - his personality and spirit - that had been
imprinted on her being.  She would always love him. 
She could admit that truth, and accept that it may
never be returned.  


*********************************************************************************************

On day thirty five, Harm and Mac decided to embark on
a closer investigation of the far side of the island. 
From time to time, items washed up on the beach near
their camp that were beneficial, or at the least,
provided an interesting diversion.  They once
discovered a soggy newspaper, in Spanish no less, but
they dried it out and combed through it like it held
the key to their impending prison escape.  Mac
translated what she could, and they were riveted by
news of the world.  It left them a bit homesick, but
the paper generated a renewed interest in reconnecting
to outside civilization.  With expectations high, they
went searching for more secrets on the other side of
the isle.  They were eager in anticipation of what
they would find.

Harm and Mac hiked along for hours, foraging a trail
over the dividing ridge, following rocky coves and
inlets, and patrolling the beaches for new treasures. 
In the latter part of the day, Mac asked to take a
quick break, and Harm politely sat down on a rocky
overhang to wait for her.  As he drank some water, he
took in the pretty view and contemplated what they'd
found thus far.  Bird songs could be heard high
overhead, along with the distant drone of an engine. 
After a split-second delay, Harm registered what his
ears perceived and jumped up to scour the sky.   He
yelled out to Mac in a voice of unrestrained
excitement, and she came running out from the trees
within seconds.  Once she registered that is was an
airplane, Mac was beside herself in enthusiasm.  They
both spotted the plane at the same time, low and to
the left of their position, and began waving their
arms and screaming loudly.  There was no time to run
up the hill to light the help signal, or to retrieve
the flare gun.  They kept up their alarm calls
vigilantly, even as the aircraft began to drift out of
sight.  Despite all their efforts, the plane flew
past, never once veering from its course.   As the
horrible reality set in, Harm and Mac sagged against
each other.  They could hardly speak, their throats
were so choked in crushing disappointment.  It was
unfathomable.  Of all days to be on the wrong side of
the island.  Why?  Why did they have to choose that
day to leave the camp site, where the flare gun always
sat out unused.  Neither Harm and Mac could believe
it.  Without talking, they headed back to their
encampment in disillusionment.  They both staggered
with a profound sense of loss.  When they reached the
shelter, Mac sunk down in the sand and covered her
face in her hands.  This was a big setback.  It was
almost overwhelming to think about how close they
might have been to a rescue...so close, but yet so
far.  Fate had dictated the unfortunate outcome.  

Harm approached Mac and knelt down behind her.  He
rested his hands on her back.  He could hear her
crying softly, and that sound nearly moved him to
tears.  He gripped her shoulders and hugged her from
behind.  Then he pulled her back into an embrace and
rested her wet face against his chest, settling down
against a log.  He didn't say anything for quite a
while.  He just stroked her hair in slow circles. 
Eventually, Mac quieted down and relaxed in Harm's
strong arms.  His tenderness and concern enveloped
her.  The sky had darkened, and they sat nearly
motionless for a half an hour, each left with their
own feelings of depression and sadness.  

It was Mac who broke the silence, cutting into Harm's
drifting thoughts. 

"Harm, do you think we will ever really get out of
here?" she asked in dejection.

"Of course we will.  It is just a matter of time," he
said soothingly.  He continued to caress her silky
tresses.

" I just want to go home."

"I know, I know...This was just a huge disappointment,
...but we will get off this island."

After a pause, Mac continued, "Do you think it will be
before I turn 40, because I have other plans.  I was
thinking of taking up bungie jumping for one thing,
and I want a big party with lots of scrumptious food."
 Mac felt a chuckle rumble through Harm's chest.

"Hey, I'm closer to that than you are, and I'm not
worried.  We'll get home, and you can have a banquet. 
I promise.  You can invite all of your friends, and
even Jingo can sit at the table."  He tried to
reassure her with his words and a comforting squeeze. 
"You know, it could be worse. You could've been stuck
here with Commander Linsey."

"He's in Leavenworth.  He's probably got it better
than we do."

"It's not so bad..."

"Well, at least he gets hamburgers and French fries,
and hot showers, and maybe donuts in the morning with
jelly filling, or pot roast on Tuesdays..."

"Are you telling me you're hungry, Mac?" Harm
interrupted with a smirk on his face.

"You got any chocolate up your sleeve?" Mac glanced up
hopefully.  

"No, but I know where I can find some fish filet."
Harm offered.

"Well, I guess that will have to do...if you're
absolutely set on that.  You need to branch out
though, Harm.  You're kind of getting into a rut with
your fish obsession.  Maybe we ought to examine that. 
There could be deeper issues."

"I'm not going there with you!" Harm teased.  They
laughed lightly, and Mac moved to get up and help
start their meal.  It wasn't room service, but it kept
them alive.  


*********************************************************************************************


That night, Harm noticed that Mac kept flinching in
discomfort from pain in the back of her neck, so he
gingerly offered to give her a back rub.  She couldn't
hide her delight, as she willingly lay down and
prepared for him to work out the bothersome kinks.  He
sat to the side of her hips and pressed his hands down
firmly into her back, rubbing her deep muscles in
large, meditative circles.  He moved upwards to her
neck and focused his attention on the strained tendons
there.  His nimble fingers began smoothing out the
stiffness around her shoulders.  He leaned some of his
weight on her, and did his best to wipe out her
soreness.  Within fifteen minutes, Mac could feel all
of the tension leave her body.  She was lost in a
world of wonderful sensations, as Harm kneaded her
flesh with knowing hands.  Harm, too, was completely
absorbed in his ministrations, and concentrated on
giving her relief from her tired, aching muscles.  His
slow movements were executed on a near sub-conscious
level.    

When she began to sigh in pleasure, Harm felt a slight
stirring within, but continued rubbing her back with
full intensity.  He enjoyed the physical contact with
her body, and was glad she did too.

"That feels sooooooo incredibly good, Harm. You're
amazing!"  Mac praised him through heavily lidded
eyes.  Harm took in her profile, with her loose hair
falling seductively around her face.  He pushed aside
his momentary longing, and resolutely persisted in the
task at hand.
 
After the fourth sensual moan, his fingers stung with
an electric pulse.  He stilled his hands.  

"Stop that." He said firmly.

"Mmmmm, what...." Mac said drowsily.   He resumed
tracing his hands over her skin, and tried to ignore
the sexual awareness that was building.  

"Ahhhh..." Mac purred in pleasure, conjuring up images
in Harm's mind of other gratifying endeavors.  It was
too much.

"That!" he said with his voice about to crack.

 "What are you talking about?" she asked when Harm
abruptly stopped stroking her back.  She leaned up to
study him.

"All those little sounds you're making.  Knock it off.
 I'm trying to concentrate."

"Why?" Mac asked innocently. "Are they bothering you?"

"Well,...yes!  I'm only human, you know!"  He sighed
in exasperation. 

Mac smiled to herself, and had to probe further.

"Ohhhh" she whispered in a sexy voice, "You mean like
when I whimper and moan?"  She laughed out loud at the
troubled expression she saw on Harm. " I can't help
it!  I'm just letting you know that I'm enjoying the
back rub."

"Well, I'm glad you like it, but give me a break
here!"

"Hormones getting the better of you, Harm?" Mac
kidded.  

"Lean back down." Harm commanded, and Mac unthinkingly
obeyed.  He guided her shoulders to the sand and began
reapplying pressure to her muscles, disregarding her
provocative comment.  

With her eyes no longer examining him, he finally
said, "Let's just get back to work.  Put a lid on it,
will you?" 

Mac was absolutely humming in delight over the effect
she had on him.  How infinitely intriguing!  How
remarkable!  Mac was imbued by the amazing experience
of feeling wanted.  The usually unshakable Harmon Rabb
was flustered because of her.  She let the wonderful
knowledge permeate her being.

She couldn't resist a little more teasing.  "Mmmmmm,
oh yes, Harm... a little lower, yesssss....just like
that..."

"Ma-ac, what are you trying to do???" Harm asked
forcefully.  Then, he mentally backed up and tried to
explain his outburst. "It has been a long time for
me...and..."

Mac immediately stiffened under his touch.  Harm could
tell the moment that her mood changed.  Her spine
became rigid.  Harm lifted his fingers, and awkwardly
searched for an apology over his perceived
indiscretion.

"I'm sorry, Mac.  I shouldn't have mentioned that," he
said self-depreciatively.  "It's not something I ought
to be discussing with you."  He sat back on his bent
knees and placed his hands in his lap.  

Mac was overwhelmed with hurt and anger.  She had
never known Harm to openly lie to her.  She couldn't
believe that he was starting now.  

Mac sat up and gave him a challenging stare.  She
decided to face this head on.  "What exactly do you
mean that it has been a long time for you?"

"Well, you know..." Harm stammered in shock. 
"It's...been a while...since...um..."  He felt
uncomfortable under her scrutinizing glare.  

"Since you've had sex with a blond?" she filled in
with a biting tone. " Oh, please.  Don't lie to me. 
You're personal life is none of my business, but don't
outright lie to me, Harm!"

"Lie to you...why would I lie to you?" He replied in
dismay.  He felt increasingly agitated by her
accusatory tone.

"I saw you with that girl, Harm,...the last night we
were in Cartegena.   Don't tell me you left the bar
with her to go over her testimony!"

"You were there?" Harm looked caught and embarrassed,
but also perplexed by her strong emotions.  

"Yes, I was there, Damn it!  And I can tell when a guy
is making a move...You were all over her!"

"Look, what you saw..."

"Don't patronize me, Harm!  I deserve better than
that!"

"I think you're overreacting.  It wasn't what you
think...well, essentially, it was....but..." Harm
tried to clarify, but Mac would have none of it.

"Harm, you have a right to sleep with whoever you
want.  Please spare me the details!  Just don't tell
me it didn't happen, when we both know it did."  Mac
was openly hostile to him.  Harm groped for a way to
disarm her.  

"Listen, Mac..." Harm reached his hand out to Mac in
contrition.  She recoiled at his touch.  Tears sprang
in her eyes, and she fought back the raw feelings that
she thought had been dealt with long ago.  Without
warning, all of the rejection and despair resurfaced,
and Mac instinctively wanted to fight back.  But then,
she resigned herself to the pitiful truth that there
was no use attacking Harm.  Arguing with him would
only bring her more anguish.  Worn out of
alternatives, Mac decided to take the honest approach.

"Harm, I've lived in the wings for so long...," she
said wearily.  "It just...hurts," she choked out,
"...to see you passionate and infatuated with every
blond woman that comes along,...making love,...to
everyone else...but never me..."  She ended her
admission in a voice strained with emotion. 

Harm was astounded at her words, but was also
immediately weighed down by all of the competing
thoughts and feelings that ran through his head.  It
didn't make sense.  He was obviously missing a piece
of the puzzle.  Didn't she have Webb?  Why did she
care what he did in his private life?  Although he
sensed Mac's vulnerability, still Harm resented her
condemnation of him when she was being so
hypocritical.

"Why does it matter to you who I have sex with, Mac?" 
Harm registered instantly that it was the wrong thing
to say, but he couldn't back down from his rapidly
rising defensiveness.  

"It shouldn't."  Mac responded flatly.

"Well, I'd have thought it wouldn't concern you, since
you have Webb."

Mac's jaw dropped open when she realized what he must
have assumed.  She didn't know what to say, or where
to begin.

Harm evaluated her lack of response.  He knew she had
seen Clayton since their return to D.C.  She couldn't
deny that.  What irritated him the most, what tore at
his heart actually, was that...It Wasn't Enough.  For
weeks on end, he'd ruminated on that thought.  Going
down to Paraguay, throwing away his career, even
giving up flying...none of that was enough for Mac to
chose him...to come to him.  She went to Webb instead.
 Yes, his ego was threatened.  He didn't like to lose.
 But, underneath all of the suppressed anger, there
still resided the sting of rejection.  Harm had done
his best to block that out.  It all came back in a
flash.  

Harm was hit with another curve ball when Mac made her
next confession. "I'm not with Clayton.  I never was."
Mac spoke evenly, and gave Harm a moment to fully
comprehend what she meant.

Harm took in a deep breath and shook his head in
doubt.  "I saw you kiss him, and I know you've been
seeing him, Mac."

"Yes, I visited him at the hospital, and tried to
support him in his recovery.  But before I left on our
last assignment, I let him know that I couldn't be
romantically involved with him.  I don't return his
feelings."

Harm's eyes widened at this new revelation.  A
long-hidden weight seemed to be lifted off of his
shoulders, and he struggled to find the words to
reconnect with Mac.  

After a long silence, he said, "I guess I drew the
wrong conclusion about your relationship then.  I
should apologize for speaking so harshly."  He knew he
must have sounded pretty judgmental.

Mac pulled her knees up, and wrapped her arms around
her legs tightly, as if pulling into a cocoon.  Harm
felt a deep sense of regret at all of the time they'd
lost in confusion and hurt.  He knew he had to clear
the air further, but treaded carefully.  He needed to
illuminate Mac about what happened the night at the
bar, but he didn't know how to make things right
without engendering more distress.  He didn't want to
offend Mac, or add to her heartache.   

Harm swallowed his discomfort, and ventured into the
difficult matter that loomed before them. 
"Mac,...about that night in Cartegena..."

"You're not accountable to me, Harm." She said
quickly.  "You don't have to make excuses for your
actions.  God knows, I understand why you'd want..."

"I'm not making excuses..." Harm insisted.

"Well, you're a normal guy, and I'm sure every once in
a while you..." 

"Yes, that's true, but actually..." Harm interjected,
trying to catch up to her and make his case.

".... just want to be with a woman..." Mac continued,
not making eye contact.

"Well, I did want to, but...as it turned out..." 

"Harm, it's okay.  I'm not judging you..."

"Would you let me get a word in edgewise, please?"
Harm raised his voice to be heard over her ongoing
dialogue.  "Jeez, Mac. This is hard enough without
having to bang my head against your thick skull!"

Mac was sufficiently rebuked, and gave Harm her
complete attention.  The chill ran across Mac's skin. 
What Harm had to tell her was obviously very important
to him.  

"As I was saying, I'd like to shed light on what you
saw..." Harm looked her directly in the eyes and
silently waited for a signal to proceed.  

"Go ahead.  I'm listening."  She mentally braced
herself for details she didn't want to hear.

Harm thought he'd better cut to the chase and spell it
out for her.  "I didn't sleep with her."

Mac met his penetrating stare and knew he was telling
the truth.  Her heart filled with a relief that she
didn't know she was even searching for.  She let go of
the breath she held and let her arms unfold a little. 


"I'll admit I found her very attractive, and really
wanted to...you know, go to bed with her.  But I
couldn't do it."  Harm looked down in defeat.  Somehow
he felt ashamed at having his more base motives laid
bare to Mac.  "I haven't been with anyone since Renee,
and even that I can barely remember.  The crash wiped
out most of those memories."

Mac looked at Harm skeptically, and Harm raised his
hands open in submission.  "Honest!"  Mac rolled her
eyes.  Harm tried again, "Contrary to what you may
believe, I don't sleep around.  And before you say
anything more, I've barely even dated."

"You've been celibate for two years, Harm?  That is
hard to believe."  Mac waited for him to elaborate, a
look of incredulity written all over her face.

"Well, it's the truth.  That's the sad reality of my
personal life."  Harm let his statement stand up to
her inquiry.

"Why?"

Mac's question caught Harm of guard.  "Why?...Why
haven't I had sex in two years?"  He raised his
eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'm just curious. You're attractive;  you could
easily find some woman..."  Harm warmed slightly from
her compliment, but still had to challenge the
incorrect notions she had of him.

"Maybe I don't just want to find some woman.  I'm not
interested in that anymore.  I never really was."

"What was Renee then, besides a warm body?" she
countered.

"Oka-ay,...I was willing to settle with that for a
while... But I've changed, I guess.   Maybe I've
grown.  I'm not interested in just a physical
relationship,...although, of course, that would be
nice...."  He couldn't help but smile.  "I miss being
intimate with a woman."  Harm couldn't believe he had
just disclosed that to Mac.  It seemed more personal
than he meant to take things.  Yet, he checked and Mac
didn't seem too concerned about his admission.  She
moved right on, in her typical headstrong manner.

"Well, what are you looking for then?"

Harm thought about his answer.  He wanted to be
completely candid with Mac.  "I want it all.  I want
to share my life with someone, get married, have
children.  I think I'm ready for that now."  His eyes
meet hers without fear or indecision.  His expression
was compelling, as if trying to communicate a message
beyond his limited words.

A sweet feeling of optimism began to spread within
Mac.  The way Harm was looking at her, you'd think he
was able to peel away the layers of her soul and peer
right inside.  A smile opened up her face to him, and
unanticipated gladness filled her right down to her
toes.  Harm smiled back.  Without words, they both
knew there was hope for them after all.  

It was then that they really began to talk.  They
didn't push the significance of their relationship any
more that evening.  There was enough to absorb
already.  With a new unconditional acceptance, Harm
and Mac settled down for sleep together in the
shelter, and spoke quietly into the night.  They
shared their dreams, hopes, and disappointments in
life with deeper intimacy.  For the first time, Harm
told Mac about his crash ten years earlier and
recovery at his grandmother's farm house.  Mac lay
riveted on his every word, honored that he would share
so much of himself with her.  Mac learned about his
struggles and periods of self-doubt, and also the
process of psychological healing.  Finally, Mac had
insight into the dynamics of his relationship with
Diane and how that tied to her.  Harm admitted how
much he had loved her, and how fear had strangled his
ability to risk again.  Mac explored some of the
issues of her early family life and alcoholism.  Harm
understood Mac even better when he realized the extent
of the abuse she'd endured.  Her inner strength shone
through all of the adversity she'd faced.  He
respected her courage and diligence, and admired the
decisions she'd made to overcome her past. 

When they finally succumbed to the need for sleep,
Harm pulled Mac tight up against him, and spooned with
her from behind.  He wrapped one leg over hers and
cuddled her possessively.  He kissed her softly on the
cheek.  Mac smiled with her eyes closed, and moved
into him a little closer, drifting to slumber in utter
bliss. 


*********************************************************************************************


Finally, by nearly all respects, Harm and Mac were a
couple, living on a tropical paradise, perpetually
hungry and openly in love.  Harm wasn't sure where to
go with their relationship at first, since he and Mac
had been best friends and working partners for so
long.  He decided to do what came natural to him,
which meant mooning over her like some
sixteen-year-old kid.  He couldn't wipe off a stupid
smile on his face whenever he was alone and thinking
of Mac.  His breath still got caught in his throat at
the sight of her.  She was the only woman who left him
truly vulnerable, who could level him with a glance. 
He used to fear that kind of exposure to another
person because he always sought control.  Now, with
Mac, he was finally able to let go.  Once freed up to
express himself, Harm felt uninhibited and
spontaneous.  He allowed previously suppressed
thoughts to enter his consciousness, and he was amazed
at how often he noticed Mac's beautiful features.  She
was adorable.  He loved her with all of his heart, and
looked for the right opportunity to tell her so.  Back
on the mainland, he'd know how to wine her and dine
her, but on the island, he could only offer her more
fish, garnished with barnacles and shells...not very
romantic.  Harm considered his options.  He wished he
could bring her pearls from the sea, to show her how
much he treasured her.  She deserved the best. 

Mac loved all the attention she got from Harm, as he
made his feelings known to her more explicitly.  He
flirted with her throughout the day, and used his
innate magnetism to work his way into her heart.  Mac
was fully aware that he was trying to charm the socks
off her, if she'd had any, that is.  Little did Harm
know that he didn't have to do any of that posturing; 
he'd already won her over.  Mac was amused by his
attempts at clever remarks, and teasing glances.  But
all Harm had to do was send her one of his lazy grins
and she'd melt instantaneously in the hot Columbian
sun.  In any case, their dance of intimacy was fun and
effortless, so Mac just let things unfold on their
own.  She enjoyed having Harm on the chase; it was
endlessly entertaining.   

Two days after their pivotal talk, Harm brought her
exotic red and purple flowers and insisted on adorning
her hair with them.  He sat her down on the campsite
log and fussed over her, trying to weave her hair and
absolutely cracking her up in the process.  It was
comical to see this mothering side of Harm - such a
contrast to his flyboy facade.  As his hands touched
her head and neck, tugging and smoothing out lopsided
braids, Mac swayed into his steady movements.  His
proximity heightened her senses.  They laughed and
joked throughout his attempted makeover.  All the
while, Harm would inadvertently brush up against her,
sending thrilling impulses radiating down her body. 
When Harm leaned over to find just the right stem to
go above her ear, Mac nearly gasped in shock at the
discovery of his arousal.  It was difficult to ignore.
His breathing was unsteady, and she could tell that
Harm was as affected as she was by the chemistry
between them.  Before she could collect her thoughts,
Harm began to trace her ear tenderly and to blow on
it.  Mac could hardly move, she was so enthralled by
his sensual gesture.  He kissed her and nibbled on her
ear lobe, then grazed down her neck, nuzzling with
further attention.  Mac's eyes practically rolled back
in her head.  Harm moved slowly around to the front of
her, and knelt down.  He put his hands either side of
her face, and kissed Mac on the lips with
single-minded fervor.  At once, Harm was flooded with
the intoxicating feel of her skin and taste of her
mouth.  Mac moved her tongue in to play with his, and
Harm moaned in response.  The sweet fragrance of the
flowers permeated his senses.  In the corner of his
mind, Harm wondered why he had ever waited to be with
Mac.  Harm felt her hands reach out to rest on his
thighs.  Mac's tentative fingers traced his bare skin,
slowly sweeping upwards.  He closed his eyes and
desperately hoped that Mac would move them even
higher, his breath all but halted in his chest.  When
she skimmed the bottom of his shorts, Harm pulled back
to look at her for a moment, his eyes glazed over in
sexual excitement.

As much as Harm wanted to throw Mac down on the ground
and make love to her right there on the sand, he
needed to slow things down.  He didn't want his
intense desire for her overshadow all of the other
feelings that needed to be dealt with.  He longed for
her sexually, but wanted to hold back those impulses
enough to show Mac how much he cared about her first. 
He had to do this right, to cherish her and drive out
all of her doubts.  His unrestrained lust would only
confuse the issue.  

"Wow, Mac...anymore kisses like that, and you're gonna
give me a heart attack," he said in a ragged voice.

Mac smiled at him, and moved her hands to his waist. 
"Well, it must be the hairdo.  I feel like a new
woman."

"You look radiant," Harm pronounced, taking in the
bright flowers woven throughout her hair.  

"You don't look so bad yourself, and I didn't even
groom you.  But then, you always look good."  Harm was
flattered at her comment.  Mac squinted her eyes in
suspicious appraisal and continued,  "You know, I
believe you're trying to seduce me."

Harm gave Mac a splendid smile, which sent a tingle
down Mac's spine.  She'd figured him out.  All of his
focus was locked on her, and she couldn't help but get
lost in Harm's blue eyes and handsome face.  After a
moment, she looked down shyly, embarrassed to be
caught staring at him.  She couldn't hide her blush. 
Harm reached out and pulled her chin up with his
gentle fingers.  He kissed her one more time, and then
said poignantly, "I love you, Sarah MacKenzie."

Mac's heart filled with supreme elation.  Harm had
finally said those fateful words, the ones that sealed
her to him forever.  At last, she could finally
express what she had known for so long. 

"I love you too, Harm. I always have."

Harm laughed lightly with joy, and kissed Mac once
more with renewed passion.  Then, he pulled her closer
to his chest and hugged her tightly.  From over her
ear, Mac heard Harm admit, "I am trying to seduce you,
but I'm just going real slow."

"I guess that explains the seven year time frame."

They chuckled together, and Harm moved to sit down
beside her on the wood, his knees nudging hers.  

"I'm sorry that it took so long to get my head out of
my six, Mac...a lot of wasted time.  I want to make it
up to you somehow."

"Well, I'll think of something."  She leaned back on
her hands and looked up at the palm trees
thoughtfully.  "Hmmm....Maybe a few more of those
steamy backrubs of yours," she said with a delicious
smile.

"You like those, huh?  All you have to do is ask." 
Harm said with a smug grin.  He put his arm around her
shoulders and gave her a wink.  "Anytime, Mac...I'm
all yours."    


*********************************************************************************************


Harm was set on romancing Mac, and wanted to ease into
the physical side of their relationship at a
reasonable pace.  It mattered to him, because
internally, he felt so out of control.  He didn't want
to presume that Mac was as keyed up as he was, or to
let his behavior be dictated by his rampant hormones. 
He was conscious of treating her respectfully.  Yet,
despite Harm's good intentions, the mounting sexual
tension was difficult for him to discount.  It
permeated Harm's thoughts and affected nearly
everything he did around Mac.  He tried not to gape at
her long sleek legs or feminine curves.  He didn't
think she saw him check out the way her hips swayed
when she waded in the water, leaving his mouth dry and
palms sweaty.  He made a concerted effort not to gawk
too long at her bikini top, even though he gave
himself enough time to visually trace the outline of
her figure.  Basically, he was trying hard not to
behave like a sex-starved maniac who wanted to rip her
clothes off.  It was a valiant effort, but a lost
cause.  Years of abstinence and Mac's inherent
sexiness just put him in a constant state of
semi-arousal.  One touch, one look, and he was a
goner.  He knew it.  

The next day, Harm climbed up into a tree and surveyed
the shoreline - no sign of any watercraft.  He bent
down and balanced onto a large limb, slouching his
back onto the trunk dejectedly.  Every time he hoped
for contact with the outside world, he was inevitably
left disappointed.  It was a tiring cycle between
momentary optimism and disillusionment.  Harm rested
in the tree for what seemed like an hour, and whiled
away the hot afternoon with aimless musings of a
rescue, and of course, sex.  He spotted Mac walking up
the beach, but sat quietly perched in his lookout. 
She was his temptress.  He had to behave.  As Mac came
up under the branches, his feet caught her eyes and
she called up to him in surprise.  She smiled at his
panther-like appearance, long and languid, relaxed and
hidden amidst the foliage.  Harm invited her to join
him, and she deftly made her way up to his level. 
They balanced on limbs from two separate trees, and
faced each other across the canopy of leaves and bark,
the sandy ground five feet below.  Harm stretched out
onto his belly and straddled his branch with his arms
and legs.  Mac mirrored his tree-lined form.  Their
faces came close together, and they smiled in
childlike delight at the novelty of their positions. 

They stared into each other's eyes, and silently
enjoyed the unexpected intimacy.  Then, with steady
intention, Harm inched ever closer to Mac and kissed
her delicately on her lips.  It was sweet and
passionate....feathered with soft gentle probing. 
Goose pimples spread over Mac, as she savored the
tantalizing contact with Harm.  A balmy breeze
fluttered across their backs, and warmth penetrated
their exposed skin.  Somehow this was quickly becoming
one of the most erotic kisses Harm had ever
experienced, with the focus on the sensations of Mac's
lips so total, so all-encompassing.  It was in such
contrast with not touching Mac anywhere else...holding
back, feeling only her sensual mouth and wandering
tongue.  They made-out for a few minutes, and Harm
became acutely aware of his growing sexual desire. 
Mac, too, felt the strong pull of excitement, so long
withheld between them.  Mac's loose shirt had fallen
open slightly, and she teased Harm with a glimpse of
what lay beneath.  Harm felt a schoolboy thrill at
seeing her and wished he could reach out for a caress.
 As each moment passed, the most subtle sensations
became magnified.  With utter surprise, Harm realized
the raw pleasure he was experiencing could easily get
out of control, just from lying on the branch and
torturous wet kisses from Mac.  Being this instantly
turned on was reminiscent of the heightened sexuality
of his teenage youth - those long, heated summers at
the beach, fooling around with bikini clad girls in
the sand, before adulthood set in.  His unfettered
arousal was so sudden, so intense.  He was leaning
against a tree, for crying out loud!  He slowed down
the pace of their French kisses, and pulled back to
look at her.  She probably had no idea how excited he
was.  He was practically forty years old, but with
Mac, he was nearly sent over the edge from her kiss. 
Harm took a moment to compose himself.  All the while,
Mac watched him with visible desire and curiosity.  

Once calmed down to a presentable degree, Harm
suggested they move down from the tree, and she
followed his lead.  They touched down on the sand with
their hands clasped together.  Harm smiled
self-consciously at her, and then suddenly broke away
and headed for the water, taking his shirt off along
the way.  He left his shorts on.  No way was he going
to strip down to his underwear right then. 

"Join me for a swim!" he called back, as he bolted
into the waves. 

Mac stood transfixed on the spot, bewildered at Harm's
abrupt and apparently overpowering urge to swim in the
ocean.  Okay, that's unexpected, but with Harm,
stranger things have happened.  Mac was amenable to
his suggestion, and began unbuttoning her shirt and
shorts, leaving her wearing only a bikini.  As she
entered the tepid water, she was taken back when she
realized that Harm had just gotten in with his shorts
on.  She had to stifle a laugh.  He was acting so odd.


*********************************************************************************************


Later that evening, Mac studied Harm from across the
campfire and wondered about his peculiar behavior and
mood.  "Hey, you're awfully quiet over there. 
Anything on your mind?" 

Harm looked up from his concentrated gaze at the
crackling fire.  After a pause, his eyes refocused on
hers, and he sent her a warm smile.  "Oh,
nothing....Just thinking about F-14's and flight
checks...you know, the usual," he joked amiably.

Mac decided to investigate further.  "Is everything
okay, Harm?  You seem kind of, I don't know...
preoccupied." 

"Everything's fine," Harm said in surprise.  "What
makes you think otherwise?"

Mac sent him a knowing look.  She had to bite her
cheek just to hold back a smile. "Oh, I don't know,
maybe the fact that you disappeared this morning for
hours, and then I found you hiding in a tree this
afternoon.  Of course, there's also your mad dash to
the water, nearly fully clothed I might add."

The amused expression on Mac's face told him that she
wasn't at all upset with him.  On the contrary...she
seemed tickled to death.  Maybe she knew more than she
let on beneath those chocolate doe eyes of hers.  Harm
moved over closer to her and sat down leisurely in the
sand.  He stretched out his long legs, and thought
about what he could say.  Nothing sounded quite
right....

"Mac, the truth is... um, I just thought I ought to
put a little distance between us..."  While the humor
remained on Mac's face, Harm saw that she looked a
little mystified.  "You have to know that I'm crazy
about you.  I'm sure it's obvious.  But, well, maybe
I'm too crazy...you know what I mean?"  he asked
hopefully.

"No, maybe you should fill me in."

Harm took a stab at frankness.  "I just want to do
this right, Mac.  I don't want to blow it, because
it's too important for us.  I've been sort of battling
over how to handle our physical relationship.  I don't
think I aught to just jump your bones at the drop of a
hat, which is what I'm sort of inclined to do..." Harm
smiled guiltily.  "I want to treat you right, not like
some sex-deprived guy.  Today, I was just giving
myself time to cool off."

Mac seemed to give his elucidation serious thought. 
"Isn't there a place in between self-imposed exile and
lovemaking?  And I've been a virtual monk for two
years as well, you know.  Don't forget that."

Harm had never really considered her side of the
equation when it came to sex.  He really must be
incredibly self-absorbed.  Well, he'd have to rectify
that.

"C'mere," Harm said in a sexy voice.  He tugged her
gently and pulled her into his lap.  He kissed her on
her nose, cheeks, eye-lids, everywhere on her face but
her luscious lips.  He was such a tease, Mac thought.

He leaned his forehead against hers.  "I can't wait to
make love to you, and if you're ready, believe me, so
am I.  Just don't go complaining if I act like an
animal."  He smiled down at her.

"You've always had good instincts, Harm."  She kissed
him on the lips and lingered there a few moments. 
"Does this mean we're dating?" she asked.

"Yes, I think we are," he gave a soft laugh.   He
traced tiny circles on her legs absentmindedly.  
"So.... how long should we wait to have sex now that
we're a couple?"  

"What's your track record?"

"I don't think now is a good time to go over that!"
his chest moved back in reflex. "But generally, I've
never gotten into bed with someone on the first date. 
How long have we been dating anyway?"

 "Well, it seems like a lifetime, but here on the
island, I'd say about three days."

"Hmmmm....I guess, we'd be rash and foolish to just
dive right in then, wouldn't we?"

"Yeah, maybe so." Mac sounded a little disappointed. 
She wondered why Harm always had to be so damn
honorable. 

For a moment, Harm considered the possibility that
something was really wrong with his head.  Why'd he
have to maintain his scruples, anyway?  It wasn't as
if they were in a normal environment, held in check by
the rules and constraints of society.  There had to be
acceptable solution.  "Okay, here's a deal.  If no
rescue boat comes tomorrow, we'll call off a waiting
period.  Then, I guess we'd have done our best to
behave respectably."  Harm thought he could survive
one more day.

"Now, that sounds like a plan!" Mac brightened up.

Harm laughed at her enthusiasm. Then, he gazed into
her precious face and patted her firmly on the chest. 
"You!"  Harm accused.  "This is all your fault. 
You've been emitting your pheromones all over me for
weeks, months...leaving me helpless to resist!  I'm
completely at your disposal.  I bet you like having me
in the palm of your hand, don't you, Mac?"  

"Hey, you're the insatiable flirt!" Mac countered
playfully.  She looked up at the stars, and giggled to
herself after a moment of reflection.  She couldn't
hide her secret smile.  

"What?" Harm questioned.

She laughed more openly, and said, "You looked so
funny this afternoon, running into the surf with your
shorts on, like you were running from a swarm of bees!
 The look on your face ....!"  Even then, evidence of
his haphazard behavior could be found in his attire.
He was wearing his faded blue jeans because his shorts
were still too damp to put on.

"Well..." Harm said with an embarrassed smile. "I
really needed a cold shower!" 
 
"I thought that might be it..." Mac said in
confirmation, the smile never leaving her features.

They got ready for bed and held each other close, both
excited by infinite possibilities.  Either way,
tomorrow would be a monumental day.   


*********************************************************************************************


Harm's resolve didn't last long.  At five am the next
morning, he found himself lying awake next to Mac,
aroused and unable to fall back asleep.  After
frustrated efforts to distract himself, he finally
left their shelter, rousing Mac in the process.  She
noticed the empty spot next to her, and registered
it's meaning through sleep-filled eyes.  Groggily, Mac
got up in search of her wandering partner, and found
him standing in shallow waves, gazing at the pre-dawn
horizon.  She came up behind him and wrapped her hands
around his waist.  She felt Harm startle at the
contact, while she leaned her head against his back.  

"Hey."

"Hey to you," Harm said in a gravely voice, as if it
was the most usual thing in the world to be up that
early.  

Mac moved her hands up his chest, familiarizing
herself with his taut form.  Harm reveled in her
affectionate touch.  He turned around and caught her
up in a tight embrace.  When he pulled back, in the
dim light he saw the most amazing look on Mac's face. 
Her features were filled in anticipation and hope.  A
dam of held back longing broke loose inside of Harm,
cascading upon his reservations, covering over his
uncertainty.  Harm knew they didn't need to wait any
longer.

"Mac"

"Yes..."

"Isn't this technically the next day?"  Harm asked in
a promising tone.

Mac smiled and said, "I think you might be right."

Harm gave a cursory scan of the water.  "You know, I
don't see any cruise boats in the vicinity either," he
pronounced with a growing smile. 

"Nah, not a one," Mac affirmed, the humor evident at
the corner of her eyes.  

With a shared look of recognition, Harm took her hands
in his and led her back to the dry sand.  They stood
facing each other, both marveling at the unparalleled
intimacy, savoring the awareness of what they were
about to embark on.  Harm's face was beaming with love
and desire.  He reached out to caress her face.  His
hands trembled slightly from all of the pent up energy
beneath his fingers.  He felt a bit nervous.  This
would be his last first time.  Mac's body was
essentially unknown territory to him, and he hoped to
he could bring her enough pleasure.  He wanted to
learn all of her hidden secrets, every curvature,
every fantasy.  He'd have to let instinct show him the
way, but then, he was sure his Marine would let him
know when he got it right.

Mac tentatively explored the feel of Harm's wide
shoulders and torso, amazed that she was finally free
to touch him in that way.  She moved her hands
underneath his t-shirt and skimmed the smooth ripples
of his abdomen, feeling too shy to venture down
further.  She heard Harm's unrepressed groan, as if
his body was aching for her caress.  She sensed such a
longing in him, and was suspended by the thrilling
knowledge of how much he wanted her.  She inhaled
sharply at the gentle pressure of his lower body,
teasing her for only a fleeting moment.  Then Harm
whispered seductively, "Breathe, Mac" and she let out
the air she had been unconsciously holding inside,
shaken by his insight.  He had already thrown her off
her axis.  

Mac let her curious hands roam freely over Harm,
sending him a jolt of desire from her touch.  In
response, Harm pressed against Mac more fully, letting
her know how aroused he already was.  Needing to know
every inch of her, craving contact, Harm's hands
wandered over Mac's body possessively.  He was
desperate to have Mac beneath him. Without warning,
Harm pushed her down in the sand, kissing her
senseless, taking what he wanted.  He moved against
her urgently, giving Mac a glimpse of the unrestrained
force behind his sexual drive.  All the while, Harm
covered her hair and neck with zealous kisses.  His
teeth grazed her skin, and he bit her teasingly at the
nape.  Mac shuddered at the mix of pleasure and pain. 
Harm's fingers moved down to trace the outline of her
figure.  

Harm was lost, completely saturated by the intensity
of their foreplay, out of control with love and lust. 
Like an avalanche, he could not stop the force of his
freefall if he wanted to.  The desperation for release
was too fierce, built up through an epoch of
abstinence.  He felt potent and raw, his composure
hanging by tattered threads.  Mac, too, felt
overwhelmed by the tremendous sexual chemistry between
them.  She had always known that their lovemaking
would be passionate, but this....this was beyond
anything she had imagined.  Mac felt electrified by
sensory awareness, and helplessly propelled with the
desire to know Harm intimately.  Their mutual crusade
to pursue and uncover became a tug of war, a clash
between strength and softness.  They engaged in
playful competition over who would be the focus of
attention, and fought to take turns with giving and
receiving pleasure.  At dawn, Harm and Mac became a
burning, entwined heap on the deserted beach.  

If Harm had planned to make love to Mac slowly, if he
had aspired to ease into their consummation, all that
was shattered within the first moments of their
encounter.  He couldn't take her with tenderness and
care;  he was driven by a raging, compulsive need to
be joined with her.  He spiraled uncontrollably
towards madness - to know all of her, to make her his.
 His heartbeat raced in his chest, and his breath came
in erratic pants.   In the midst of all of their
passion,  Mac looked at Harm's face, eyes closed and
forehead furrowed in intense concentration, and
commanded him in a sultry voice, "Don't forget to
breathe."  With a near painful sigh, he opened his
eyes and smiled, covering her mouth with a searing
kiss.  Then he pulled back and said apologetically, "I
don't think I'm going to be able to go slow."

Mac nearly laughed out loud at his confession...Take
it slow, she thought, astoundingly!   Who wants to go
painstakingly slow after seven years?  In answer, Mac
pulled Harm down towards her and kissed him sensually
on his neck.  She could feel the masculine stubble
brushing against her face.  She flushed with
excitement from the taste of Harm's skin.  

They resumed their love making, and both became lost
in the wonderful sensations.  As Harm fought with
their clothing, a momentary thought crossed his mind. 


Just as a stab of precaution, appeasing his more
rational side, Harm asked hoarsely, "Uh, Mac, tell me
there was a condom in that first aid box, right?"

"No, there wasn't."  Mac voice sounded swiftly
concerned.

A rising anxiety began to build within Harm.  "And
you're not on the pill, are you?"

"Fraid not..."  All their driving momentum crashed
head long into a wall.

"Oh, God..." Harm leaned his forehead on Mac's in
complete shock.  "This can't be happening." 

For reasons beyond his ability to fathom, Harm had
never actually considered the issue of birth control. 
Not once had it come up in their discussions about
sex.  Yet, it went without saying that they couldn't
have unprotected intercourse.  They were nowhere near
ready to have a child.

"Oh, Harm...no, no...Tell me there's some recourse..."
 Mac's voice faltered.

Harm sunk down a little on this arms that were holding
him above Mac.  He closed his eyes and felt his spirit
nearly cave in under the weight of such heavy
disappointment.  It had to be some cruel cosmic joke. 
Was he destined for a life of celibacy?  He wanted Mac
so badly.  His whole being was ready to make love to
her at last.  He just couldn't bear the notion of
forfeiting that union.  It was such a natural
progression of their love for each other, a
culmination of all of the years that they went without
expressing their feelings.  Now, being utterly
vulnerable and exposed, Harm desperately longed for
that completion with her.  

He swallowed harshly, and stared back down into Mac's
lovely face.  Harm's body was still vibrating from the
adrenalin of sexual excitement.  With an
infinitesimally small movement, Harm's hips crept
closer to Mac.  Harm's head dropped down, as he
grappled with control over the mounting waves of
pleasure.  The temptation was profound, drawing him
in...pulling him down to her.  He didn't want to stop.
  In a rush of insanity, Harm decided he couldn't hold
back any longer. 

"Mac....I can't wait...I just have to... know..." he
whispered in impassioned breaths.  Harm waited for her
objection, but none came.  Mercifully, she let him
know that it was okay, and caressed the small of his
back lovingly.  His whole body pounded with the force
of his desperation.  "I'll stop before..." he
justified to her, hoping he'd remember.  They began
making love, but true to Harm's promise, they didn't
complete the act.  They found other ways to pleasure
each other.  Afterward, they held one another close,
and lingered in the bond between them.  Despite the
less than ideal circumstances, the happiness and
resolution they felt at being that intimate was
tremendous.  

Harm reached out and caressed Mac's soft tresses,
smiling in fascination at the woman beside him.  He
felt a shiver run across her shoulders and began to
help Mac pull her clothing back on.  Likewise, Harm
attempted to put himself in order, and had to laugh at
the absurdity of his half-dressed condition.

"This isn't quite how I had imagined our first time,
Mac," he chuckled to himself.

"You've thought about us together...?" Mac smiled in
return.

"Sure...plenty of times, but I never envisioned us
like this..." 

"You mean, half-naked and stranded on a deserted
island...I kind of like that scenario."  Mac laughed
in amusement.

Harm finished the top snap of his jeans, and pulled
Mac into his arms, soothing her flushed skin with
tender fingers.  "No, I mean, in such a heated
rush...and then, you know..."  He looked into her eyes
and searched for her reaction.  

"I'm glad we made love, and I don't care if it was
wild and hasty.  I'm just sorry you couldn't enjoy it
more."  Mac said sympathetically.

"Believe me, I did."  Harm kissed her and traced her
lips delicately.  "I love you, Mac."  

"I love you, too, Harm."  They hugged and kissed for a
while.  

Finally, Harm spoke again, with a gleam in his eyes. 
"I warned you, ya' know.  I told you I'd be all over
you, and I was.  Next time, it will be better, I
promise."

"It was fantastic, Harm..." Mac said with a brilliant,
knowing smile.  

"Yes it was." He confirmed.  "You know, you drove me
to it anyway, spinning your web around me... leaving
me perpetually aroused," he teased.

"Oh, so you're trying to pin this on me?" Mac laughed.
 "I'm not the one who lacks self-discipline...who
couldn't wait, even though we didn't have a condom. 
Now, what are we going to do from here on out? "

Harm conceded her point with a thoughtful smile. "It
sort of puts a damper on things, doesn't it?  Being
stuck in paradise with a gorgeous woman...in this
case, the love of my life...without protection." 
Mac's heart swelled with his words, but also took in
the seriousness of their problem.  

"I guess we can just fool around, and enjoy each other
in other ways..."

Harm expelled a strained sigh. "Yeah, we shouldn't
take another risk like we just did.  I must have been
out of my mind!  I've never done that before," he
admitted.  He continued to grapple with their options.
 "But honestly, I don't think I can resist you, Mac. 
Not now that we've crossed that threshold.  You feel
so good....It's futile to even consider trying to
abstain from intercourse, don't you think?  It's just
not realistic, at this point."

"You're probably right.  I mean, when we're faced with
the same temptation, we'll just throw caution to the
wind again.  It's impossible to imagine not being with
you now...since I know what it's like."

"I feel the same way," Harm smiled. "I guess we'll
just have to be creative."

They watched the amber sunrise stream out above the
sea, a celebration of life made just for them.  They
held each other close and continued to discuss how
they were going to handle this aspect of their
relationship.  With their best plan laid out before
them, Harm and Mac got up and went for a walk along
the beach, talking and flirting easily, bound together
by intimacy and open to any challenges they might
face.    


*********************************************************************************************


Their journey came to an end two days later.  With
supplies getting impossibly low and their love growing
stronger, Harm and Mac had almost given up any
expectation of a contact from the outside world.  They
went about life as usual on the island, hunting for
fish and gathering resources, with one major
exception:  they also made top priority to passing
long stretches of time in each others arms.  They
engaged in endless foreplay and nearly made love
countless times.  Yet, while they were intimate, they
did not take any more risks until the timing was
right.  They still enjoyed every minute of the
discovery and wonder of each other,  living like
lovers, carefree and happy.   They embraced the
permanence of their love.  The isle of rock and trees
became their private tropical paradise.  

Harm and Mac were so absorbed in their relationship
that neither took notice when their ship of safety
finally came in.  It happened one morning while they
were engaged in cheerful banter about sharing
toothpaste.  Mac had run out of hers;  Harm was trying
to barter for favors with his family size tube of
Crest as leverage.  

"Hey, I've been rationing mine.  I can't help it if
you used yours up too fast.  Suck it up, Marine."

"Well, you wouldn't want me to get cavities, would
you, Harm?" Mac said, as she practically batted her
eyes.

"That's not my problem." Harm acted immune to her
charm.

"Come on, one little blob on the end of my brush. 
That's all I ask," she pleaded with a pout.  She knew
Harm was fanatical about his dental hygiene, and it
was actually asking a lot of him to give over his
staple of germ-fighting, fluoride protecting gel.  It
was his lifeline. 

Harm was demonstrating his stubborn brick wall
imitation, and turned his back to her with a chuckle. 
He brushed his teeth with alacrity, and gave her a
winning smile after he spit his toothpaste out.  

"Okay, what do you want?" Mac leveled, hands on hips.

"Oh, just your soul..." Harm returned with a cocky
grin.

"Hmmmm, I guess this means that you're not going to be
able to kiss me any more..."  She waited for his
reaction.  "Because without toothpaste, I can't come
near that smug mouth of yours."  Mac looked back at
him with satisfaction.  She knew she had him.  Harm
couldn't go without her kisses, since they were as
essential to him as air, or life itself, for that
matter.  

With a look of chagrin, Harm stepped up to her and
began to kiss her anyway, chiding her through brief
pauses, "I'll give that sassy.... mouth.... of
yours.... a kiss.....whenever I want to....." He
finished his brazen inundation with a token of his
affection - a half-rolled tube of paste.  

Mac was just about to receive his peace offering, when
her hand stopped in mid-motion.  Her mouth hung open,
as she looked past Harm out into the beach.  No words
would fall from her mouth, as she pointed silently and
brought her other hand to her chest.  Harm felt an
initial stab of worry, but when he followed her gaze
out towards the ocean, all of the pieces fell into
place. He was shocked by the sight of a boat, not 200
yards from shore, just sitting there calmly as if
waiting patiently for their departure.  The grip on
his toothpaste loosened, and it slipped and dropped
out of his hand unnoticed.  Harm cleared his throat
and suddenly came to life, yelling loudly, waving his
arms in animation, and running out into the surf.  He
dove in the water and began to swim out to meet the
vessel.  Mac's breath caught, and she snapped out of
her stupor.  With gusto, she joined in with her own
cries to signal the ship.  By the time Harm had
reached the half-way point, a bright orange flag could
be seen waving above the hull of the boat. They had
been seen.  It was over.  Mac could hardly believe her
eyes.  Forty-days and nearly forty-nights - that's how
long they had been stranded on the island.  It almost
seemed biblical.  In the end, it had been their Garden
of Eden.

They left the island without a lot of fanfare, eager
to shed the worst of their difficult existence.  Yet,
as they boarded their rescue boat and said their
goodbyes, Harm felt a twinge of nostalgia for the
place where they had created a home.  Mac, too, felt a
bit sentimental about their departure.  So much had
happened on that landmass.  They had struggled for
survival, and kept up hope amidst despair. They had
learned to work and to play together, to risk and to
love.  Once lost from one another, Harm and Mac both
knew that on the island, they had been found.  With
tacit understanding, Harm pulled Mac into his embrace
on the deck of the boat, and shared a mixture of
unspoken emotions with her as they watched the watery
distance grow between them and their previous life. 
Everything would be different once they touched the
mainland.  They had changed and grown from the
experience, but they had each other as a constant. 
Feelings of sadness and joy, calmness, and even
satisfaction passed over them as they looked back on
the island that had been their shelter and sustenance.
 As the land grew smaller, they gazed on what they
were leaving behind - a place where their lives had
finally crossed and woven together.  We did it, Mac's
heart surged with happiness.  Harm was her rock now,
and she, his compass.  She knew they weren't going to
become lost again.  


*********************************************************************************************


Once grounded on terra firma and completely stuffed
with food, Harm and Mac retreated to their hotel room,
provided with complements of the American Embassy from
Bogotá.  They flopped on their bed and absolutely
delighted in the clean bedspread and soft mattress.  

Being back in civilization was a bit overwhelming. 
The afternoon had been exhausting, with a barrage of
phone calls, media coverage, medical evaluations, and
police inquiries.  They had spent hours dealing with
people and politics - demanding, questioning, nearly
assaulting them with blaring attention.  It had been
so long since they had been around others.   It almost
seemed strange to engage in lengthy conversations with
the entourage of officials and curious well-wishers.  
The boat operators who were implicated in the ordeal
were apparently long gone, leaving no trace of their
illegal activities.  Harm and Mac left that issue to
rest, and accepted that they may never know the why's
or the how's of their treatment.  Columbian
representatives made generous offers to pursue the
case, but Harm and Mac skillfully begged off such
pending investigations.  They wanted the matter over,
and conveyed as much to the people in charge.  

In stark contrast to the island, mainland surroundings
seemed unbelievably rich and plentiful.  When Harm and
Mac went shopping for new clothing and necessities,
they were astounded by the immense variety and
abundance of material items.  Everything was available
to them at their disposal.  So many options...so
little effort.  After forty days of exile, the modern
world confronted them with sensory overload.  Yet,
even with the hassles, Harm and Mac were left with a
pervading feeling of thankfulness.  With nearly two
months of deprivation, they embarked together on a
process of discovery and gratitude.  They took in all
of the sights, all of the development and nuances of
society, with enormous appreciation.  Life was an
amazing gift.  The conveniences, access to running
water, prepared foods, fluffy towels, and yes, even
the boundless people were remarkable treasures.  They
no longer took these things for granted.  Harm and Mac
saw the world with different eyes, and received each
of the long-forgotten amenities as tiny miracles. 
They were grateful for it all. 

So it was in a state of wonder and fatigue that Harm
and Mac found themselves collapsed on their queen size
bed later that evening.  After the feast they had just
inhaled, Harm and Mac nearly passed out together in
drowsy satisfaction.  Finally, they had been left
alone.  

Out of the companionable silence, Harm reflected on
the events of the day.  "You know, Mac, I didn't
realize how much I would miss having air conditioning,
or ice in my drink.  Who would have guessed?" he
asked, cool and comfortable, stretched out and staring
at the ceiling.  

"Yeah, and indoor plumbing.  What a convenience!  I
can't get over that! " Mac exclaimed.

"Speaking of which, you want to take a shower first,
or should I?" Harm inquired.

"Well, if you really don't mind, I'd like to get in
now.  I can't stand feeling this grimy."

"You don't look it, but go ahead.  I'll just lie here
and rest."  Harm closed his eyes and covered his
stomach with folded hands.

"Thanks," Mac said as she slid off the bed.  

After a thirty-minute deluge of scalding water, Mac
finally pulled the door ajar and let the steam out of
the bathroom.  Harm looked on from the main suite and
enjoyed the view of Mac in a fresh white towel.  He
watched as she combed out her hair and applied unknown
feminine products.  She didn't need any of it, Harm
thought, as he admired her beautiful silhouette going
through the motions of daily life.  His heart filled
with such contentment.  He loved her, and she was all
his - every willful, adorable, sexy inch of her.  Mac
seemed to sense his perusal and glanced his way.  Her
open smile greeted his own, and their eyes met in
mutual appreciation. Harm got up leisurely and filled
the doorway with his long form.  With arms crossed in
front of his broad chest and body leaning against the
frame, he was the picture of relaxed masculinity.  Mac
couldn't help but stare at him.  She was still
awe-struck by Harm at times.  Harm's handsomeness had
a way of sneaking up on her like that.  Mac didn't
know if she'd ever get used to his downright good
looks.  As he stood there with his natural grace, Mac
was caught off guard once again.  He was saying
something to her, but all she had noticed was his
charming smile.

"Can I get in there, Mac?" Harm repeated politely.

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to hog the
bathroom." Mac said apologetically, gathering her
things in a fluster.

She moved out and let Harm pass her by, closing the
door behind him.  Mac got dressed and ready for bed,
listening to the sounds of Harm's shower.  A phone
call interrupted her reverie.  It was the admiral, and
Mac was glad to finally touch base with him.  As they
talked at length, Harm came out and slipped under the
covers beside Mac.  He listened to their dialogue and
realized who she was talking to.  His eyes filled with
interest as Mac informed the admiral of the change in
their relationship status.  The smile on her face shed
light on the admiral's reaction from the other end of
the line.  Harm was pleased.  There was no going back.
 As Harm took his turn with the call, Mac snuggled up
to him and slunk her legs between his under the
covers.  Her subtle kisses and nips on his chest were
a little distracting, but Harm finished up the
conversation without making a total fool of himself. 
He hung up the receiver, and promptly pinned Mac
beneath him.  He smiled down at her.  She was
breathtaking, with her damp hair falling around her
head on the pillow and freshly scrubbed face.

"You clean up pretty well, you know that, Mac?"

"So do you..." Mac replied, as she traced his cleanly
shaven jaw with her fingers.  His hair was spiked up
wet, and he looked so amazingly attractive. 

"I can't believe we are really here, in this bed..."
Harm began.

"...with crisp linen surrounding us, and electric
lights...."  Mac interjected.  " I know...it is
surreal." 

"So, now we're finally going to recall what it's like
to sleep without sand in our underwear..." 

"or leaky roofs, or mosquitoes..." Mac supplied.

"And, at last, we can enjoy other things in the
comfort of a bed ..." Harm raised his eyebrows
suggestively.  His hands traveled over Mac's
collarbone above the sheets, as his mind conjured up
the other marvelous things they would finally be able
to do...

Mac smiled, but had to counter his enticing suggestion
with a few pertinent facts.  "We still don't have
protection, so....we'll probably have to wait on that
idea...."

"Ah, but you never know what you might find at the
local souvenir shop, Mac!" Harm joked, as he dangled a
little foil package in his hand high above her face. 
His eyes were lit with mischief. 

"You're so sneaky!  When did you ever get that?" Mac
giggled in excitement.  

"Oh, sometime when you weren't looking.  I have my
secrets..."  he said abashedly.  

"I'll have to watch out for you!  I never know what
you've got up your sleeve!" Mac warned him.

They kissed and rolled over on the bed, with Mac
initiating their lovemaking enthusiastically.  That's
my take-charge Marine, Harm thought, as Mac drowned
him with eager kisses.  They frolicked and teased each
other, working up to a frenzy of desire and throwing
off their clothing in a frantic heap.  They'd had such
extended foreplay on the island, it didn't take much
to bring them to heightened state of arousal.  When
completely undressed, Mac took in the sight of Harm's
form and smiled, so happy to be this open with each
other.  Harm felt her approving stare, and was imbued
by the warmth of her expression.  No other woman had
ever made him feel this way - so loved, so embraced. 
Harm reached out to touch Mac's supple skin and lovely
figure.  His captivated eyes, filled with awe and
devotion, conveyed how beautiful she was to him. 
After Harm took a moment to prepare himself, he paused
to commit the milestone to memory.  They had a second
chance at this, the full event.  He wanted to do it
right, take it slow, and inundate Mac with loving
attention.  Once he was intimate with Mac, he didn't
know if he was going to be able to think straight, but
his heart was set on bringing her immense enjoyment.  

Mac's gentle breath at his ear and tantalizing nibbles
brought him back to an awareness of his position.  He
was about to discover the mysteries of Mac's body all
over again.  He felt the deep pull of his sexual
drive, and gave over to the forces of instinct.  He
needed to be with Mac.  It was where he belonged, and
he didn't have to hold back.  They were no longer
constrained by the limitations of practicality.  As
they made love, Harm and Mac were set free by the
realization that they could follow this through. 
Finally, they could fully express the passion they
felt for one another with this ultimate union, without
foreclosure.  Somehow that knowledge made a
difference.  They shared intense pleasure with each
other, and afterward, Harm held Mac tight in his arms,
resting his head above hers.  Mac ran her fingers over
Harm's chest and was lulled by the sound of his
heartbeat.  His pulse was still erratic, but slowed
down with each passing moment.  

"I could get used to this."  Mac said in delight. 
"You felt wonderful...so right."

Harm couldn't suppress the look of joy on his face
when he heard her words.  He kissed her forehead and
leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I love you, Mac. 
You've stolen my heart." 

Mac smiled in happiness and said, "I love you, too." 
She curled around Harm and stared up into his face. 
She would never get over this incredible bond they had
together.  Her whole being swelled in contentment.   

With a heartfelt honesty, she said, "I'm glad we were
delegated to that island, Harm.  It forced us on the
right path.  Who knows how long it would have taken
before we got our act together?"

"Well, I guess we'll have to thank Carlos for that,"
he chuckled.  Mac could feel the vibrations through
his chest.  "There isn't anyone I'd rather have been
stranded with than you, Mac.  We survived together." 
He squeezed her firmly for emphasis.  

"I was awful to you at first though." Mac cringed in
shame.

"Oh, you were just having a bad hair week or
something.  Don't worry about it.  It's history."

"Marines don't have bad hair weeks, Harm.  I was just
pissed off about that girl.  I should have behaved
more maturely.  Sorry about that."

"I don't blame you, Mac." He patted her shoulders
gently.

"Well, at least we figured all of that out."  Mac
laughed to herself, and then let Harm in on the joke.
"Don't you think it's ridiculous that it took us being
abandoned on the shores of a deserted island to find
each other?  I suspect most people go about their
courtships a little more...normally."  

"As long as the end result is the same, I don't care."
 Harm moved down and kissed her sweetly on the lips. 
"We must have some bad karma regarding oceans...."
Harm said out of the corner of his mouth.

"And planes..." Mac muttered between kisses.

"Right,..and planes..." Harm conceded, kissing her
again.

"And South America..." Mac added.

"Oh, yeah, the whole continent..." He kissed her once
more.

"So, let's just stay away from planes, boats, and
Spanish speaking countries for a while, okay?  Once we
get back to D.C., we'll have to be more selective
about the TAD assignments we accept, " Mac suggested. 

Harm stopped midway through his next kiss, and looked
thoughtfully into Mac's beautiful eyes.  "That's fine,
because I'm never letting you out of my sight. You
know that, don't you?"  The intensity Mac heard in
Harm's voice rattled her to the core, and warmth
spread out to her toes.  She couldn't tear her eyes
away from his piercing stare.  "You're stuck with me,
Mac," Harm said possessively.

Mac gave Harm a glowing smile, which he returned in
kind.  "I can deal with that, as long as you don't
make me eat fish for a long, long time."

They laughed and held one another close, affirming
their love and sealing their fate.  No matter where
they ended up in life - in jungle, city, or castaway
on an island - they would always find refuge in each
other.  



The End