Flight School Please send feedback and let me know if you want more of this story. :-) Author: Nik Summary:Imagine … Harm left the Navy after crashing his Tomcat. ------------------------- Day 1 Flight School She walks into my classroom one Saturday morning, long brown hair floating around her shoulders, the golden highlights catching the sun as the door shuts behind her. Her beautiful eyes seem to look right into my soul and I am captivated for what seems like an eternity. Finally, I introduce my self. “Hi, I’m Harmon Rabb..I teach the ground classes.” “Sarah Mackenzie,” she answers. “You can call me Mac. Nice to meet you.” She doesn’t sound to happy to be here and I can’t figure out why. “Call me Harm. Can I call you Sarah?” I ask, regretting it the moment the words are gone. I don’t want her to think I am pushy and for some reason I can’t explain, I really care what this woman thinks of me. “Yeah I guess so,” she answers. “Are you always this early?” I ask jokingly. Class isn’t scheduled to start for 15 minutes. “Do you have a problem?” She sounds pissed. Whats her problem? I wonder. I was just making conversation. . “Listen, “ I snap. “You don’t have to be rude. I was just making conversation.” Just then, the rest of the class comes in and Sarah takes a seat. I watch her walk over to the desk she chooses as she glares at me. I try to ignore her and I speak to the rest of the class, telling them to sit wherever, and introducing myself. While I explain the format of our upcoming classes, I pass out registration sheets, on which everyone can write their names, addresses, and brief summaries of any prior flight ecperience. Plus a mini quiz I always give out to get a feel for where the students are. Some come in with no knowledge whatsoever, some have flown but need ground training to get licensed, some are just refeshing their knowledge. While the new students work on these, I go back to my desk to gaze out the window and prepare for another first day of Flight School. On days like this one, I long to fly. Warm, clear, Spring days…the kind of day that makes you think of freedom, starting new, rebirth. I long to fly, need it, ache for it with the passion that only a man born to be an aviator can feel. But that is the one thing I can never do again. I killed my RIO in 1991, landing my Tomcat on an aircraft carrier. Although it was nothing I could control, it was still my fault. Bad eyes..unfit for night landings, so they tell me. Supposedly I can still fly during daylight hours, but I will never command an aircraft again. The Navy sent me to law school, but I didn’t want the Navy if I couldn’t fly, so I left, and now I’m here, at this little airport outside of DC, teaching ground school to those people who will fly those machines I can’t touch. Soon it is time to collect the paperwork, so I retrieve the papers and begin my usual introduction routine. I have each student stand up, reveal their name and reason for taking lessons and anything else they want to share. A couple of young guys want to join thr Air Force, one business executive wants to learn how to fly the Cessna he just bought, a housewife is bored with kids and chores, a few people just for fun…and then Sarah’s turn. Something in her eyes was haunting, telling me there was a secret to be revealed. “My fiancee died in a plane crash, trying to make it back to our wedding. I was devastated and became phobic of anything to do with planes. I have to travel for my job a lot,and I need to be able to get on a plane. So, I am taking this class and will become a licensed pilot to conquer my fears.” She sat down and looked away. I could tell she was trying not to cry. She must have really loved her fiancee, I thought. The next student begins to speak, explaining why they are here, but I can’t listen. I am drawn to Sarah… the pain is evident in her watery eyes, I want to abandon this class and kiss away her agony. What am I thinking? I ask myself. I don’t even know her. And here I am getting ready to screw up the one job I’ve been able to keep longer than six months since I left the Navy. Suck it up, Rabb, and teach this class. Day 5 Flight School I have just completed teaching day five of ground school, and my students have left to do their in-flight training. For weeks now, I have been thinking of one of my new students, Sarah Mackenzie. I can’t get her out of my thoughts. She is so beautiful, but its more than that. It’s the intensity she radiates. I can identify with that intensity, the constant warring of emotions that has threatened to overtake me for a long time, every since my accident on that carrier. No, I am honest with myself, even before that. Ever since my childhood, I have been fighting a losing battle with my feelings. Losing my Dad to Vietnam when I was six was the end of my world as a little boy. He had shown me the love an aviator has for flying and I had followed in his footsteps in the Navy…and in life….I have been lost for many years, just like him. I tried to find him once when I was sixteen, failed miserably, and never really gave up hope, but now…I have little hope left for anything. Suddently, I see Sarah come back in the classroom, interrupting me from my melancholy thoughts. She walks right up to me and stands very close. “Hi,” she says. ‘Hi,” I reply. “How are you doing so far? I mean, with the in-flight part of this?” “Surprisingly, I have been doing ok. Of course, we’re not doing any landing or takeoffs yet. Really, though, I think I’ve done great just to get on one of those planes. I haven’t been off of dry stable land in years. Harm, I wanted to apologize for being rude the first class. I guess I am a little too emotional about this whole thing, and I took it out on you. Please accept my apology?” “Of course,” I assure her. “I understand completely.” “Listen…I still feel lile I owe you. I was totally out of line and….” “Go ahead…” “Well, how about if I take you out to dinner tonight to make it up to you?” Is she asking me out, I wonder? “Maybe you…” I begin. “Oh never mind. I should have known you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. Its just as well, everyone I’ve dated has ended up dead or feeling like it. I understand completely…I don’t blame you for not wanting –“ I interrupt her, kind of interested at the last statement, but not scared off. “But I do want to see you, Sarah. I was just going to ask if you wanted to come to my apartment. I think I kind of owe you too, so why don’t you let me cook you dinner and then we’ll call it even?” “Ok, you’re on.” “Great, You can come over right after your in-flight lessons I’ll give you a ride or you can follow me from here.” “Sounds great. See you then.” she says as she walks out the door, and I watch her leave. I quickly leave the classroom, locking it up and almost running to my Corvette. I need to go buy groceries and clean up my apartment asap. There’s going to be a very special girl in it tonight, and right now it looks like a place unfit for even a rodent to live. Day 5 Flight School Just as I reach my car, I notice a few my students running towards me. They arrive, and I ask whats going on. One of the Air Force kids speaks up. “Harm, it looks like Mike isn’t going to make it in, so we don’t have anyone to take us up today. We can’t do in-flight.” Mike is one of the pilots who teaches the in-flight training. He hasn’t killed anyone with a plane yet, so he still flies, but he also sucks at classroom instruction, which is where I come in. He is also highly irresponsible when it comes to obligations and probably an alcoholic. Chances are, he’s still sleeping off last night’s adventures. He is a damn good pilot, though. “Look, I’d love to help you guys out, but I don’t fly planes. I just teach the class.” “I thought you said you used to fly Tomcats.” “I did. Look, I’m sorry, see if you can work it out with the owner of the flight school. I’ve really got to go.” I am probably too abrupt, but there is no way I am even going to entertain the notion of flying these people around. No way. “The owner sent us to you.” “He did what?!” Now I’m so pissed, I could happily strangle Clyde, owner of Clyde’s Flying Rides. He knows I don’t fly. “Clyde said you could take over for Mike today.” a new voice speaks. Its Sarah. “Well, he’s wrong. Come on,” I say. “Lets go talk to Clyde.” We walk across the field, into the main building, and up to Clyde’s office. I opt not to knock on the door. and go right in. “Clyde. We need to talk. You know I’m not flying. I am not taking these people’s lives into my hands. I’ll quit first.” “What do expect me to do Harm? I’m in a bind here. Mike didn’t show up again..I’ve got eight students out there wanting to learn to fly.” “I don’t know, Clyde, but the solution does not involve me. I don’t fly planes anymore.” “Fine, Harm. Fine. But consider yourself out of a job.” Disappointed as I am, I am not going to argue. Clyde is truly a jerk anyway. Besides, there are plenty of flight schools around here for me to work at. Who am I kidding? I ask myself. I’ve already checked all of them out, and they all require the ground instructor to also teach in-flight. Which I don’t do. Dejectedly, I exit his office. I know my head is drooping so low, my usual 6 foot 4 frame is probably about 5 foot 10. The Air Forice boys and Sarah look at me expectantly. I shake my head. “No can do, guys. I’ve just been fired. Sarah, I’ll understand if you want to cancel tonight.” “Why would I want to cancel? Clyde is a jerk anyway, Harm. You can do much better than this place. Besides, I think I got what I needed out of this. I went up in a plane, I met a really nice guy…things are looking up, I’d say.” I look at her and smile what has to be the biggest goofiest smile she has ever seen. I take her hand in mine and we walk out the door and over to our cars. “Sarah, I need to take care of a few things this afternoon, but I can pick you up or you can drive over to my apartment later. “ “I’ll come over around 7:00, is that alright?” “That’s perfect, let me tell you how to get there…” I complete the instructions and we drive off in separate directions, but I can’t help but hope and pray we are hurtling towards one shared destiny. Day 5 My Apartment Sarah knocks on my apartment door, and I let her in. She looks amazing, having changed out of the jeans and t-shirt from earlier today in flight school. Now she’s wearing this tiny little skirt and a lacy shirt that I know is going to have me distacted all night. The apartment is clean, the food is almost done, some soft music is playing and I have a selection of videos for us to watch. “Hi,” she says. “Nice apartment.” “Thanks,” I say. “You should have seen it a couple of hours ago.” She laughs a little and I walk her over to the TV and the videos. “Dinner is still cooking. Why don’t you pick out a movie for us to watch.” She looks over the videos and makes a selection. She picks “A Few Good Men” and pops it in the VCR. “I’ve seen this a hundred times,” she says, “but it’s a good movie. And its funny to watch, in a way. Real life as a JAG isn’t quite that exciting..well..most of the time anyway.” “You’re a JAG?” “Yeah, I’m a marine, stationed at JAG headquarters in Falls Church. You’re former Navy, right? Used to fly Tomcats, I think you said?” “Yeah. I was.” “What made you quit?” “Wow, you jump right into the hard stuff don’t you?” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t know it was a problem for you.” “No, its ok. Maybe I need to talk about it. I crashed my Tomcat in 1991, killed my RIO. We were caught in a terrible storm, the night was pitch black. I was trying to land this plane on a postage stamp that wouldn’t stay still. Didn’t happen. Night blindness, they said. I went through all the investigation and they found no evidence of negligence on my part…but it doesn’t matter. I still killed someone. The Navy decided I’d be a good lawyer, so they sent me to law school and I even worked at JAG for a couple of months. I hated it though. How could I stay in the Navy without flying? So I resigned my commission. And here I am.” “Teaching ground school.” “Well, getting fired from teaching ground school. So, tell me, who’s in command over there now, at JAG?” “Admiral AJ Chegnwidden is my CO.” “Never heard of him. I guess I was there before his time.” “Yeah, I guess so.” “You know, I am kind of happy you didn’t stick around at JAG, know why?” “No…why?” “If you were still there, we’d probably work together…which wouldn’t be all that bad. But I’d have to long for you from afar. We’d never be able to be more than coworkers.” Is she kidding around? Long for me from afar? We are both sitting on my couch. She is very close to me, so close I can almost taste her kiss. I debate with myself about whether or not to kiss her, when I lose the debate altogether. She kisses me, stirring up feelings I haven’t had for years. We stop to breathe and just stare at each other. I am lost in her and we are both quiet. Almost too quiet. I hope I haven’t done something wrong. “Sarah, I’m sorry.” She looks at me strangely. “Why?” “You weren’t ready for all this. You’re still hurting from losing your fiancee. I know you loved him, and I here I am forcing myself on you.” “Harm, you’re are definitely not forcing yourself on me. Besides, the issue with my fiancee, its more than what you think.” “I am sure you loved him very much. Why don’t you tell me about him? Come on, I told you about my ramp strike.” “That’s just it, Harm. I really didn’t love him. His name was Mic Brumby . He was flying back for our wedding. The plane exploded on takeoff and he was killed along with the other passengers and crew. He wouldn’t have been on that plane if he wasn’t trying to come back for me.” “ It isn’t your fault, Sarah. Please don’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could have known, or stopped it.” “But I could have prevented his death. I wasn’t going to marry him, Harm. I left him a note telling him we weren’t getting married and left town. If I had just told him while he was still in Australia, he never would have gotten on the plane. But I was a coward, and now I have to live with the guilt forever. “You can’t blame yourself, Sarah. It will destroy you.” “Look who’s talking.” “Whats that supposed to mean?” “You won’t fly because of your own misplaced guilt. Here you are getting fired from teaching ground school to wannabe pilots, refusing to face your fears. “ “Fears? What fears?” “You’re afraid to fly again.” “No, I’m not.” “Yes, you are.” “No, I’m not.” "Prove it." Next Day Dominion Aviation I can’t believe I am doing this. She challenged me to prove I’m not afraid to fly. Well, I’m not about to back down, even though I’m terrified. Not of being hurt or killed, but I would never survive if I hurt someone else. After talking last night, we ate the food I cooked and watched the movie. We didn’t really talk much more, but after she kissed me goodbye at the door, she said “Don’t forget.” “What? Don’t forget what?” I asked her. “You still have something to show me. Show me you’re not afraid to fly.” She kissed me again and walked out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts. So here I am, doing pre-flight checks on thisCessna I have rented for three hours. I am blowing almost $250 on this thing, and I would prefer that it not kill me. I asked Sarah to meet me here at 3:00 and its about a quarter till 3:00 right now. She doesn’t quite know it yet, but I am going to take this plane up in the air and show her she is wrong. I am definitely not afraid to fly. Cautious, yes. Scared, no. There’s no way I am going to admit this to her, but I am quite nervous. I haven’t piloted a plane in years, and the last time I did, a very good friend died. I wish there was some way I could get out of this, but I can’t. I complete the pre-flight checks and prepare to enter the aircraft. “Hey, flyboy,” she calls to me. “Hey,” I reply. “I was just getting ready to start her up. Ready to watch me do this?” “Oh I’m ready, alright. But not for watching. I’m ready to ride.’ “Uhh…ride?” “Yes, ride. As in a plane ride. As a passenger. On this plane.” She’s talking very slowly, and briefly, I wonder if she is screwing with me. “Look, Sarah, I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to ride along this time…” “Scared?” “No!” “Prove it!” Damn, these challenges she keeps issuing are going to get me in a ton of trouble, but there’s no way I can back down. “Fine. Get in.” We get in the plane. I start it and we proceed down the runway. Surprisingly, we have an uneventful takeoff. Then again, takeoffs have never been my problem. It’s the landings that seem to cause diffculty. “You’re doing great, Harm. And so am I. I’m not afraid at all. I think you are helping me get over Mic for good, in every way.” “Don’t get too hopeful, yet. I haven’t got you back on solid ground yet.” “I’m not worried, Harm. I trust you.” I know she trusts me. But I still don’t trust myself. We fly around, out over the mountains, doing no fancy moves, just enjoying the beautiful day. I’m getting used to being up in the air again, but as we head back to the airport, I start to get nervous again. She takes my hand. “You’re doing fine.” “I don’t feel fine.” “I know. But we’re almost ready to land. I know you can do it, Harm.” “Yeah, here goes nothing.” I circle the runway to get a good position and bring the little plane down for a perfect landing. It looks effortless, I am sure, but I feel like that guy in the movie “Airplane” with the shaky employment history, fear of flying, and strange drinking problem. “Harm,” she whispers. “Are you ok?” We are still sitting in the landed airplane, and I must have been really quiet for a while, because she looks really concerned. “I’m doing great, Sarah, really. I am just doing some thinking. About my future. I am an unemployed ex-Naval Officer with a pilot’s license and a law degree. I just blew all the money I had on a three hour plane ride, trying to prove to the woman I am in love with that I am not afraid of airplanes – “ “ What did you just say?” “I am not afraid of airplanes.” “No, before that. Something about the woman you love…” “Oh, yeah, that. Well, I didn’t exactly mean to say it, but now that I did…I’m not taking it back. I love you, Sarah. I know we just met, and I am in no position to be in a relationship, but I love you.”: “Harm, I love you too. I know its early for us, but why wait? I don’t understand, though. Why are you in no position to be in a relationship?” “Well, don’t you think I need a job first?” “You’ll get a job. Just pick something. Lawyer or pilot. Eeenie meenie miney moe.” “Neither?” “Very funny.” “Just kidding. I guess I could go back in the Navy, see if they’d consider letting me fly again.” “No way, flyboy. I’m not going to have you shipping out on me for six months. Besides, they’d have to fix your eyes, and you don’t even know if they can.” “Very true. Tell you what. On my way in here, I saw a sign. They need a new flight instructor. Why don’t I talk to the owner and see what he thinks. I can handle doing the in-flight classes now. Not that I couldn’t before, you know…” “Of course, of course, I know all about it.” She’s smiling really big and I think she is screwing with me again. “You know, you could always start using that law degree. Admiral Chegwidden has been talking about trying to get another attorney on staff. “ “I don’t know…” “Oh come on, just think about it. Please?” “Ok, I’ll think about it.” “Ok, Harm. I know you’ll find your true calling. You just have to look for it. ” “Sarah..” “Yeah..” “Thank you. For everything.” “You’re welcome. Promise me something, Harm?” “Anything.” “After you decide what you’re going to do with your career, you’ll finish my flight lessons. Teach me to fly these things?” “Of course I will. Whenever you’re ready.” “Thank you, too Harm. For everything.” She kisses me on the cheek and takes my hand as we exit the aircraft, heading towards the future.