TITLE:  "Distant Hearts II-Now It Starts"
        AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
        SUMMARY:  The First Chapter of the Distant Hearts series.  Set 
after Head to 
Toe, Harm and Mac have made their first tentative steps toward coming 
to grips with 
the emotions which have swirled around them since their first meeting.  
In 
subsequent chapters, events play out that threaten the fragile union.
        DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to CBS, Paramount et al.  No copyright 
infringement is intended with this work of fiction.
        FEEDBACK:  Yes, if you're moved to do so, to [SSbpmn@aol.com] 
and it would 
be much appreciated by both of us.  However, if your intent is only to 
tell us you are 
not liking our work, please don't spend the time.  While we realize our 
work does not 
please everyone, we do ask that the journey be respected.
        
        NOTE:  All parts of this story, as well as much of our other 
work,  will be 
available at 
                 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories
    
          No subbing is required to read from the message archives.
     
    Also  our other efforts  should be available at
    
    http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/
    
    or the Harm-Mac shipper archive at   
http://hmarchive.topcities.com/index2.html
**********************
Previously in DH?Harm and Mac are sent along with the Secnav and CDR 
Lindsey 
on a flight to Europe.  A flight that did not get far. The sea claimed 
the lives of Secnav 
and Lindsey shortly after the forced landing.  Mac and Harm were 
finally rescued, 
with Harm suffering from severe hypothermia.

****************
From DH I?
Harm was just being hooked into monitors, having been stripped and 
covered with 
warming blankets, when AJ arrived and he hurried to his side.  "Admiral 
Chegwidden, 
Commander Rabb's C.O." he introduced himself, his gaze falling on 
Harm's pale 
face.  "He's not good is he?"
 
 "I haven't written him off, but no he's not.  Admiral, I'm Dr. Ted 
Storey, and no he's 
not.  His blood pressure and body temperature are at the moment not 
what I want to 
see.  And he's totally exhausted.  In other words his body is wanting 
to shut down."
********************

"Distant Hearts II--Now It Starts"
 

 "But you're not going to let that happen are you doctor?"
 
 "Not if I can help it sir. Excuse me."  He called out several orders 
to the nurses that 
were gathered around, instructing that various treatments be 
instituted, his frown 
deepening. "Sir if you want to talk to him that might help.  He's 
fading away from us."
 
 AJ gulped hard, thinking of the woman he had left three flights above.  
"No it's not 
me he wants to hear from but I know who he does."  He stepped forward 
and put a 
hand on Harm's forehead.  "Rabb you listen up.  I'm going to go get 
her, but you've 
got to hang on.  That's an order mister."  And to the doctor he added, 
"you keep him 
going.  His will to live will be here momentarily."  
 
 "Whatever you say sir."
 
 Mac was sitting up starting anxiously at the door when he returned.  
"Harm?"
 
 AJ took a deep breath.  "He needs you."
 
 Mac at once knew what he meant.  "Oh God.  Harm I'm coming."  She 
threw back 
the covers and before AJ could stop her started to leap from the bed.
 
 "Hey hold up there," he yelped, catching her quickly.  "Your legs 
aren't ready for that 
I'm sure."
 
 "I don't care just let me get to him."  She struggled in his grasp and 
he held her 
tightly.  
 
 "Colonel relax now.  Let me get a wheelchair and I'll get you to him."
 
 "He's dying isn't he," she shrieked, her alarm rising.
 
 "He's in trouble," AJ acknowledged quietly.  Mac froze in place and AJ 
retrieved a 
wheelchair from the hallway.  "OK lets have you Colonel."  He reached 
for her again 
and this time she compliantly let him all but lift her into the chair.
 
 "Hurry please," she begged.  
 
 "Make a hole people," AJ called as he pushed her in the cubicle.  "How 
is he?"
 
 "Not good," Dr. Storey sighed.  "Who would this be?"
 
 "This would be the woman who loves him," AJ smiled, words that Mac did 
not hear 
as she stared at Harm's pale figure.  
 
 "Help me please," she managed, using all of her self control to hold 
back her tears.  
AJ reached for her and with his help she mounted the table to the 
astonishment of 
Dr. Storey and his staff.  "Harm I'm here.  I'm right here.  I'm OK, 
and I need for you 
to be too."  She pressed her cheek to his, gasping sharply at the cold 
he was 
radiating, and settled herself against him.  "Come on Flyboy, I'm here 
now.  Show me 
that you want me to be."
 
 A long minute passed with no change and Dr. Storey sighed.  "We've 
done all we 
can for the moment.  He's being rewarmed and. . ."  He stopped and 
shrugged.  "I'm 
sorry.  I wish I could offer more hope.  Hypothermia is an insidious 
condition.  The 
person seems to be hanging on and then slips away all at once."
 
 "Get out."  Mac's words were muffled by the warming blanket over him 
but heard 
nonetheless.  "I said get out all of you.  I want to be alone with 
him."
 
 "Really I don't think that's going. . ."
 
 She raised her head.  "You just said you've done all you can.  Now 
it's my turn.  But I 
want to be alone with him.  Get out."  Her eyes turned pleadingly to 
AJ.  "Sir please?"
 
 AJ nodded, not seeing any problem with her request.  "Let's go people.  
Let's give 
them some time."
 
 "Sir I. . .yeah OK, let's move people.  No harm in letting her have a 
few minutes 
alone with him."  
 
 AJ knew Dr. Storey was thinking she wanted to tell him goodbye and he 
let him go 
on thinking that as he ushered him and the nurses out the door.
 
 "Thank you sir," Mac breathed just before he closed the door.
 
 As soon as they were alone, moving as best she could with 
noncooperative legs, 
she pulled off her hospital sweats, stripping totally to bare skin, and 
then eased 
herself beneath the blankets covering Harm.  She turned him onto his 
side as best 
she could and pressed her body against his, tucking her head in the 
crook of his 
neck.  "OK Sailor it's just you and me now.  Like it should be," she 
whispered.  
  
  "And you are not going to leave me. You hear me sailor. You're going 
to be 
  fine. We've got a lot of ground left to cover."
  
  She swallowed a sob and pressed further against him, letting him know 
she 
  was there. At the same time she issued a silent prayer heavenward. 
  Exhaustion finally took over and she closed her eyes, falling asleep 
a short 
  time later.
  
  "Sir, I need to check on the Commander" the nurse said to AJ as she 
started 
  towards the room.
  
  AJ nodded and followed her into the room, keeping back a smile at her 
shock 
  of seeing Mac's clothes on a pile on the floor, the two officers 
intertwined 
  together.
  
  "This is highly unorthodox" she said with a look in AJ's direction. 
"But it 
  seems to be working. His temperature is up a little and so is his 
blood 
  pressure."
  
  "Then we'll just leave them alone won't we" AJ commented.
  
  "I'll let Dr. Storey know that he's improving" the nurse replied. 
"And I 
  suppose it will be all right to leave them like that."
  
  "Good" AJ said tiredly. It had been a long night but he wasn't ready 
to 
  leave just yet. Not until he knew for sure that both his officers 
were going 
  to be okay.
  
  "Admiral we have a lounge down the hall. Why don't you try and get 
some rest 
  there. I'll be keeping an eye on them and if anything changes with 
the 
  Commander's condition I'll let you know."
  
  "Thank you" AJ said with an appreciative smile.
  
  *********
  Several Hours Later
  
  There was something warm lying next to him. Or was it someone. Harm 
pushed 
  his way out of unconsciousness, finally realizing that it was someone 
  keeping him warm. And that someone was Mac. He shifted slightly, 
enough that 
  she was instantly awake.
  
  "Harm" she whispered as she opened her eyes. "Harm oh thank god 
you're with 
  me again."
  
  "You thought I was going to leave?" he managed.
  
  "They couldn't tell me if you were going to be okay" Mac sniffled as 
she 
  felt a sudden burst of tearfulness. "I thought I was going to lose 
you."
  
  "I'm sorry if I scared you" he said softly.
  
  "You told me you're were going to be coming right after me. And I was 
so out 
  of it I didn't even realize you weren't with me until the chopper 
land here. 
  I freaked when they told me you were still out there. And then when 
the 
  second chopper wasn't here right away." Her voice broke and the tears 
came 
  rushing out.
  
  "Shh" he soothed. "It's okay. I'm okay."
  
  "You weren't before" she wailed. "And you're still like ice." She 
pressed 
  her body closer to him again and it was then that his still foggy 
mind 
  realized that they were naked under the covers.
  
  "First Skates jumps my bones and now you're under the covers naked 
with me" 
  Harm said with a weak smile. "Is this a new form of treatment?"
  
  "I wanted you to know I was here" Mac said as a small blush crept 
into her 
  cheeks. "You were slipping away and they told me they couldn't do 
anything 
  else. So I made them leave me alone with you."
  
  "Well that's one way to get into my bed" he teased. "But if you'd 
asked I 
  would have let you join me."
  
  "Harm" she wailed. "How can you joke like this? I was so afraid you 
were 
  going to die."
  
  "Hey I'm sorry" he whispered. "And after I almost lost you when we 
crashed I 
  know how that feels. You weren't breathing when I finally got you to 
the 
  surface. And I was terrified I was going to lose you."
  
  "You know we saved each other's lives tonight" Mac sniffled.
  
  "Sounds like you saved mine twice. First at the restaurant before and 
now this."
  
  "I just did what I thought would help" she whispered. "I couldn't 
imagine my 
  life without you and I still can't. It's just something I couldn't 
let 
  happen."
  
  "We both could have died tonight" Harm said softly. "But we didn't. 
And you 
  know why that is?"
  
  "Why?" she whispered.
  
  "Because God is going to give the two most stubborn people on this 
earth one 
  more chance to get it right" Harm whispered. "And I think this time 
we 
  should make it work Sarah." Still cool but gentle lips touched hers a 
second 
  later.
  
  "I want it to work Harm" she said softly when they parted.
  
  "And it will. Nothing will ruin it for us this time Sarah. Nothing"
  
  "Is that a promise Sailor?"
  
  "Yes it is" he said softly. "And you know I've always kept my 
promises to 
  you."
  
 "You'd better Sailor, you'd better," she whispered, burying her head 
in the crook of 
his neck, shivering from the touch of his still-cold skin.  The shiver 
turned into a 
general shudder and trembling and she did her best to stifle the sobs 
that were 
threatening.
 
 "Hey stop now.  It's all over," he soothed.  "I'm going to be fine and 
. . ."  A wall of 
fear passed over him and he shook her slightly.  "Mac your legs.  I 
remember--you 
weren't able to feel them.  Are you OK?  Tell me you're not. . ."
 
 "No I'm going to be OK," she assured him quickly, lifting her head.  
"They said the 
crate was resting on a nerve in the spinal cord and caused the numbness 
and 
temporary paralysis.  I won't be running ten in Rock Creek any time 
soon, but they 
don't expect any lasting effect."
 
 "Thank God," he breathed, holding her tightly to him once again.  "Do 
you know how 
good it feels to hold you like this," he added after a few minutes, 
giving a long sigh.
 
 "Everyone comfy?" Before she could answer, AJ's comment sailed across 
the room 
to them.  "And please both of you, don't---do not---get up."
 
 "Sir," Harm gasped, at once tugging the blanket up as far as he could.  
"Bet this 
looks really funny."
 
 "Never a camcorder around when you want one," he confirmed.  "Actually 
I'd be 
laughing harder but I saw it earlier."
 
 "Sir?"
 
 "I visited earlier, saw the clothes pile and no Colonel until I looked 
at the bed."  His 
eyes twinkled with amusement as his gaze rested on his senior officers.
 
 "Sir you may as well know that Harm and I have pretty much decided 
that we want. . 
."
 
 "Hey I'm not blind here."  AJ held up his hand for her silence.  "I 
trust I this scene 
isn't going to be repeated around JAG HQ?"
 
 "No sir, only in the courtroom," Harm teased and Mac pinched him.
 
 "I guess if you can joke, you're recovering," AJ sighed.  "I'm glad.  
You had us 
worried Commander.  JAG lawyers of your caliber are not a dime a dozen 
thank 
you."
 
 "No thank you sir," Harm gasped.
 
 "Well I can see that you're pretty important to a certain Colonel 
too," he added with 
that same amused look.  "OK I'm out of here.  Colonel next time I see 
you I expect 
you'll be dressed?"
 
 "Yes sir, promise," she giggled slightly.
 
 "He took it well," Harm breathed when they were alone.  
 
 "Yeah he did," Mac sighed and turned her face to his once more.  "You 
want to do 
that thing with your mouth again sailor?"
 
 "You have to ask?" he grinned and his lips touched hers again, more 
than before, 
but still light and gentle.  "Now it begins," he whispered.
 ==============
 48 HOURS LATER
 
 "Marine you're still hobbling," he admonished her as soon as she 
walked into his 
room that morning.  
 
 "Yeah a little," she acknowledged and shot him a look of triumph.  "On 
the other 
hand I'm released today."
 
 His face fell at once.  "I'll miss you."
 
 With a quick laugh she waved papers in his face.  "I'm free, but then 
so are you 
Flyboy.  As I was passing the nursing station they were drawing these 
up.  And 
Sturgis is coming for us."
 
 "Thank you Jesus," he hooted and then caught her hand.  "What happens 
now 
Sarah?"
 
 She smiled gently and leaned down to kiss him gently.  "You worried 
Sailor?"
 
 "We're OK aren't we?"
 
 "We are more than OK," she assured him.  "And I have a surprise for 
you."
 
 "Does it involve you naked again?"
 
 "Only in your dreams.  But it does involve a cabin and woods."
 
 "Make sense will you," he begged.
 
 "Our C.O. is sending us for a long recovery weekend to a place in the 
mountains in 
Pennsylvania."
 
 "Either you've been sniffing the disinfectant fumes or he has," Harm 
gasped.  "You're 
not serious."
 
 "Very Flyboy.  Very," she giggled.  "Four days of quiet.  It belongs 
to some Colonel 
he knows at the Pentagon.  The Admiral said we should go and relax and 
come back 
ready to work."
  
  "Any other reason he's sending us away?" Harm asked quietly. "Like 
because 
  the SecNav's and Lindsay's funerals are this week?"
  
  "Harm" Mac said softly as she sat down on the edge of his bed. 
"You're not 
  blaming yourself for the fact they didn't get out are you?"
  
  "I had a choice," Harm said quietly as he looked straight into her 
brown 
  eyes. "And I don't second guess myself on that part. Because saving 
your 
  life was the only thing that mattered at that moment. I just wonder 
if there 
  wasn't more I could have done once I'd gotten you out."
  
  "There wasn't anything anyone could have done. If they'd put on their 
vests 
  like they'd been told they might have had a chance. The crew tried to 
get 
  back to them but it was too late."
  
  "I know" he sighed.
  
  "Harm I don't want you to beat yourself up over this" Mac said 
gently. "It's 
  over and you have to let it go."
  
  He nodded and reached for her hand. "And I can do that because I have 
you in 
  my life" he whispered before leaning forward for a kiss.
  
  "Uh, I'm not interrupting am I?"
  
  The voice of Captain Wallace at the door made Harm and Mac part and 
with a 
  smile the older man walked over to the pair, escorted by a woman 
holding on 
  tightly to his hand.
  
  "No sir" Harm smiled. "They letting you out of here too?"
  
  "Yes but I wanted to stop by and make sure you were both okay. Heard 
you 
  gave the doctor a scare the other night."
  
  "So I've heard," Harm said as he squeezed Mac's hand.  "Captain 
Wallace, I'm 
  not sure you ever met my partner, Colonel Sarah Mackenzie."
  
  "Nice to meet you Colonel. The Commander had quite a bit to say about 
you 
  while we were out there. And this lovely lady at my side is Mrs. 
Captain 
  Wallace."
  
  "Amy" the older woman smiled. "I'm glad you're both okay."
  
  "Thank you ma'am" Harm smiled as well. "Your husband is a big reason 
we are. 
  He did one heck of a job getting us down. Not to mention keeping me 
awake 
  while he and I were floating around out there."
  
  "The Commander's exaggerating" Captain Wallace grinned. "I just did 
what I 
  had to do."
  
  "And you did it damn well" Harm replied.
  
  "That's my sailor" Amy said as she squeezed her husband's hand.
  
  "Commander take care of yourself," Captain Wallace said as he shook 
Harm's 
  hand. "And your partner."
  
  "Plan to sir" Harm nodded.
  
  "Nice guy" Mac commented once they were alone again. "So did you 
really 
  talking about me that night?"
  
  "Of course. Thinking about you was what kept me going. Just like it 
was that 
  night last May."
  
  "And what were you thinking about?" Mac smiled seductively.
  
  "Thinking about you and me like we were when I woke up" Harm grinned. 
"No 
  seriously I was just thinking how glad I was you weren't with me at 
that 
  moment. And just praying that I was going to have another chance."
  
  "You've got it sailor. Now what are you going to do?"
  
  "I'm going to make things right Sarah" he whispered. "It's you and me 
  together from now on." Another kiss this time interrupted by 
Sturgis's 
  voice.
  
  "I see things are progressing well with you two" he smiled as he 
walked in. 
  "Anyone ready to get out of this place."
  
  "Yes sir" Harm smiled. "Very ready."
  
  It was another hour before they finally made their way out of the 
hospital, 
  each supporting the other, both having insisted on walking out on 
their own.
  
  "Anyone ever tell you two you're the most stubborn people on earth" 
Sturgis 
  chided them both as he helped them to the waiting car. "God must 
really have 
  a sense of humor to put you two together."
  
  "Why do you think it took us this long?" Harm smiled as he and Mac 
climbed 
  into the back seat.
  
  "Okay my orders are to take you both home. The Admiral said you're 
going to 
  be spending the next several days at some cabin in Pennsylvania and 
that I'm 
  supposed to offer to drive you up there."
  
  "We'll manage on our own" Harm assured him. "We'll take our time and 
we'll 
  be fine."
  
  "He figured you'd say that" Sturgis laughed. "So he insisted you 
check in 
  when you get there."
  
  "I think we can do that" Mac smiled. "And thanks for the lift. We do 
  appreciate it."
  
  "Just glad you two are okay."
  
  He dropped them at Mac's place first, helping the ailing officers up 
to 
  Mac's apartment.
  
  "You sure you don't want a chauffeur ride to the mountains?" he asked 
as he 
  helped them inside. "I'd be happy to take you."
  
  "Thanks but we'll be okay," Mac said as she helped Harm to the sofa 
before 
  dropping down beside him.
 
 Harm's arm went around her automatically and Sturgis smiled gently.  
"Looks to me 
like you two are more than OK."
 
 "We're working on it," Harm acknowledged, smiling when Mac blushed.
 
 "OK I'm heading back.  You know who to call if you need anything 
right?"
 
 "Thanks buddy.  We owe you," Harm grinned.
 
 "Yeah you do.  And you know I'll be collecting," he grinned back.  
"Mac take care of 
this broken down sailor huh?"
 
 "We take care of each other," she whispered, pressing herself to him 
as another 
memory of his cold almost lifeless body came to her.
 
 "It's good to be home," she said softly when they were alone.  "And 
good to have 
you here.  Stay please.  I just want to us to spend the day together 
OK?"
 
 "Nothing I want to do more," he assured her.  "And I can't wait to get 
up into the 
mountains with you.  Just long walks, sitting in the hot tub, good 
food, a big bed."
 
 "You were on a roll till that point," she teased.
 
 "Oh yeah?  I'm good enough to save your life but not good enough to 
sleep with?  
What's up with that?" he teased back, pushing her to the sofa and 
kissing her 
lovingly, then tickling until they were both panting from laughter, and 
Harm began to 
cough.
 
 "Whoa easy Sailor.  Those lungs aren't back full yet," she cautioned 
anxiously, 
immediately totally serious and she began to rub his back.  "Nice easy 
breaths there.  
Do you need your thingy?"
 
 She was referring to the portable breathing treatment machine they had 
given him to 
counter the aftereffects of the long hours of cold and breathing of the 
salt spray.  
 
 "No I don't need my thingy," he mimicked.  "I hate that.  The 
inhalation makes me 
gag and then I'm nauseous.  No thanks."
 
 "Good thing you men don't give birth," she sighed, turning his face to 
hers for a 
gentle kiss.  "Rest easy."
 =============
 24 HOURS LATER
 
 "OK Marine, hit the road," Harm chortled, pushing her gently from his 
apartment 
where they had stopped so he could pack his duffel.
 
 "We're not pushing now remember," she cautioned, having reluctantly 
agreed to let 
him drive the first leg.  "We've got all day to get there."
 
 It was a long eight hours later with frequent breaks that they pulled 
up to a small 
cabin at the base of Alpine Mountain.
 
 "It's beautiful," she gasped as she stepped out of the SUV, only to go 
down on one 
knee, stiff and sore from the confinement of the SUV.  She was just 
getting to her feet 
when he reached her, helping her up the rest of the way.
 
 "You know it's just wonderful to look over at you getting out of this 
thing and 
suddenly you're not there.  Are you OK?  What happened?"
 
 "I'm just sore that's all, and a little numb," she admitted.  "Don't 
even start.  You 
know the doctor told me I was fine and to ease back into activity.  
That's exactly what 
I plan to do.  Now let's have a look here."  She took his hand and 
tugged him toward 
the cabin door.
 
 "Well I mean to see that you take it easy," he groused.
 
 "Look who's talking.  Open the door will you."
 
 "This is amazing," she gasped as soon as she got a look inside.  A 
single room, with 
a living area divided from the sleeping area by an overstuffed sofa.  
One corner held 
a small kitchen, and the other  whirlpool tub, with the big hot tub on 
the porch in the 
back.
 
 "That's it.  We're resigning and moving up here," she laughed.  
"Listen to that quiet."
 
 "All I can hear is your stomach growling."  
  
 
 "Then I guess you'd better feed me" she smiled as she wrapped her arms 
 around him.
 
 "And then we'll go explore that hot tub" he grinned. "It's going to 
feel 
 good after that long drive. You take it easy while I go get our 
stuff."
 
 "We'll both get our stuff" she corrected. "I don't want you over doing 
it 
 either."
 
 Two trips to the SUV later he was stocking the refrigerator with the 
food 
 they'd brought up for the weekend.
 
 "So what's the chef cooking tonight?" Mac asked as she peered over his 
 shoulder.
 
 "What would my lady like?" he smiled as he turned to drop a kiss on 
her 
 lips.
 
 "More of that" she sighed happily. "Oh you meant dinner. Whatever you 
want 
 to whip up as long as it doesn't take long."
 
 "I'd forgotten how good of a cook you were" she raved between bites of 
pasta 
 a short time later. "I might just have to keep you around you know."
 
 "I'm hoping that's the case" Harm smiled as he reached across the 
small 
 table for her hand. "I meant what I said about us never being apart 
again."
 
 "You think we can really make this work?" she whispered.
 
 "We didn't get through the crash not to be together. We belong 
together Mac. 
 And that's how it's going to be from now on."
 
 "You know sometimes I still can't believe what I'm hearing is coming 
from 
 the mouth of the Harmon Rabb I've known for the past six years" she 
said 
 softly.  "You know how many times I've dreamed of hearing you say 
stuff like 
 that."
 
 "It's not a dream anymore" he smiled.
 
 They made quick work of cleaning up the dinner dishes and a short time 
later 
 both changed into their suits before heading to the back deck and the 
hot 
 tub.
 
 "Perfect" Mac sighed as she sank into seat in the hot tub. "I still 
can't 
 believe the Admiral arranged this for us."
 
 "I?m not complaining" Harm said as he sat down beside her. "This is 
exactly 
 what we needed."
 
 "Yes it is" she agreed as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I 
just 
 can't believe how quiet it is here. It's like we're the only two 
people in 
 the world."
 
 "I could live with that" he smiled as he kissed her hair. "You and me 
and 
 this place for the rest of our lives would work real well."
 
 "And just how do we plan on supporting ourselves" she laughed. "Unless 
 you've got a trust fund tucked away I don't know about."
 
 "No but it's nice to dream isn't it" Harm smiled. "Course you know 
you'd be 
 bored without JAG in two minutes."
 
 "That depends on what I've got to do with my free time" she whispered 
as she 
 looked up at him. Their lips met in a long kiss, stopped only by the 
need 
 for air.
 
 "If I could do that all the time, I wouldn't be bored" she smiled.
 
 "Me neither" he whispered. "You know how long I've imagined us being 
like 
 this."
 
 "How long?" she whispered back.
 
 "Since the moment we shook hands in the Rose Garden" he said softly.
 
 "What took you so long sailor?" she smiled.
 
 "No excuses ma'am" he smiled. "I didn't realize that the best thing in 
my 
 life what right beside me all the time."
 
 "Sappy sailor" Mac sniffled, feeling teary at his words. "If you're 
trying 
 to impress me it's working. Not that you had to impress me."
 
 "Why is that?"
 
 "Because the first time you flashed that Flyboy grin you had me" she 
said 
 softly. "Hook, line and sinker. I just fought it the whole time."
 
 "No more fighting what we feel right?" he prodded.
 
 "Hell no" she said with a wide smile before her face was suddenly 
serious. 
 "I haven't forgotten that I almost lost you again a few days ago. That 
the 
 doctor was ready to write you off."
 
 "He just didn't know the right medicine" Harm said softly. "So no more 
 pretending?"
 
 "No more pretending" she said as her lips gently brushed his again 
before 
 she dropped her head on his shoulder again.
 
 "I can't imagine a perfect moment than this" he sighed contentedly. 
"You in my 
 arms like this in a hot tub in a cabin all by ourselves."
 
 "You know there's going to be some kind of payback for this" she 
laughed as 
 she lifted her head again to look at him. "I'm sure the Admiral 
already has 
 it figured out too."
 
 "Well whatever it is, this is worth it"

"If we were independently wealthy we could just stay here," she sighed.  
"Picture you 
and me sitting here with the snow falling."

"Sounds cold," he grinned, scooting some so that she was all but in his 
lap.  "OK this 
is perfect but don't wiggle OK?"

"Huh . . .OK I get it," she giggled.  "There will be plenty of time for 
that.  If that was all 
there was between us we could have done it anytime in the past."

"You're only like that with me," he laughed.  

"Only with you Harm," she mirrored, slipping further into his arms.

"When I fall in love it will be forever," he sang softly into her ear 
as her eyes closed.  
Her head lolled against him and he cupped her cheek with his palm.  
"Forever is 
here," he told her softly and for the next hour simply reveled in 
having her in his 
arms.

Finally she stirred and opened her eyes.  "How long have I been 
asleep?" she 
murmured, making no effort to leave his arms.

"A while.  I've been dozing and enjoying," he smiled, tilting her face 
up to meet his in 
a long kiss.  "I think we should move inside though and put on a 
movie."

"I don't know when I've been this relaxed. . . or happy."

"Me too," he grinned and stepped out of the tub, helping her out after 
him, keeping a 
tight hand on her and watching that her legs were steady beneath her.  
He guided 
her to the bathroom, taking his own turn when she was finished and when 
he 
emerged found her curled up on the bed.  

"I think I need a raincheck on that movie," she sighed.  "Sorry, I'm 
just not awake 
enough."

"That's OK.  I'm pretty ready to sleep too."  Gently he lifted the 
covers over her and 
started to turn away.  "Good night."

She smiled softly and rolled to the far side of the double bed.  "I 
don't bite."

That was all the invitation he needed and he dove in next to her, 
stretching out his 
six-four frame and reaching for her at the same time.  "You may not 
bite, but you do 
snuggle don't you?"

That set off a wave of giggling that she almost could not stop.  

"OK Marine what's funny?" he demanded.

"Snuggle," she chortled.  "To hear you talk of snuggling.  You're like 
that only with me 
aren't you."

"Only with you Sarah," he answered, drawing himself to her, pressing 
his chest 
against her back.

"You're cold," she sighed and he pulled the covers up further.

"You want me let go?" he whispered, his mouth to the back of her neck.

"Don't you dare.  Not in a million years," she sighed, turning her head 
back toward 
him, sensing he wanted to say good night with a soft kiss.
  
 Their lips meet in a gentle kiss and with a small smile he looked down 
at 
 her.
 
 "Goodnight Sarah" he whispered.
 
 "Goodnight Harm" she murmured back before closing her eyes.
 
 ***********
 The smell of breakfast woke her the next morning as she realized she 
was 
 alone in the bed.  The sun pouring through the windows told her they'd 
slept 
 late and with a content sigh she grabbed her robe and headed over to 
the 
 kitchen, where Harm was happily making breakfast.
 
 "Good morning beautiful" he smiled as he dropped a kiss on her 
forehead. 
 "Sleep well?"
 
 "Perfect. I really think we should ask the Admiral's friend if we 
could buy 
 this place. I could handle waking up every morning to this."
 
 "The peace and quiet or me cooking you breakfast?"
 
 "Both" she smiled. "So what's our plan for the day?"
 
 "Breakfast, maybe a short walk cause one of us is supposed to be 
taking it 
 easy and then some time in that hot tub out back again."
 
 "Both of us our supposed to be taking it easy" she reminded him. "So 
yes we 
 will make that a short walk. And slow. You don't need to be overdoing 
it 
 yet."
 
 After breakfast he headed to the shower while she cleaned up the 
kitchen.
 
 "All yours" he said as he emerged from the shower a short time later, 
clad 
 only in a towel.
 
 "Nice view" she grinned as she looked over at him. "Did you leave me 
any hot 
 water?"
 
 "Plenty left" he assured her. "Take your time."
 
 She did just that, soaking for a while under the hot spray of the 
shower.  
 She finally turned off the water and grabbed a towel, drying off 
before 
 stepping out of the bathroom.
 
 He was staring at the TV and even from the distance she was she could 
see 
 what he was watching.
 
 "Harm" she said softly as she walked over to the sofa where he sat 
 motionless as he watched the funeral for the SecNav on ZNN.
 
 "I was uh flipping and this was on" he said finally. "They're supposed 
to be 
 doing a story about the crash afterwards. You know, the investigation 
into 
 what happened."
 
 She nodded and gently reached for the remote that was still in his 
hand. She 
 turned the volume of the TV down and gently turned his head so he was 
facing 
 her and not the TV.
 
 "Harm it's not your fault" she said quietly. "You know that right?"
 
 "I know that I wish I could have done something to help them" he 
sighed. 
 "But if I had, then I would have lost you. And if that had happened, I 
 wouldn't have wanted to be here."
 
 "I'm sorry I made you make that choice" she whispered.
 
 "No" he said sharply. "There was never a choice. You were always the 
only 
 one that mattered."
 
 "But you feel guilty about that?" she prodded gently.
 
 "I don't know what I feel" he sighed. "All I know is that if the 
situation 
 existed again I wouldn't do anything differently. Nothing means more 
to me 
 than you."
 
 "You really mean that don't you?"
 
 "Yes I do," he said quietly. "I can't picture my life without you 
anymore. 
 Not when we've made such steps these past few months. Everything we 
always 
 dreamed of us is right in front of us now."
 
 "I know," she said softly as she stroked his cheek with her finger. 
"And 
 it's going to be ours now.  We both know that's what we want." She 
shivered 
 and he finally realized that she was still dripping from the shower.
 
 "Mac go get dressed before you get sick" he ordered.
 
 "I wanted to make sure you were okay first. I saw you staring at the 
TV and 
 I was worried about you."
 
 "I'll be okay," he said unconvincingly. "It's just going to take some 
time 
 to let it go."
 
 "I know and you know I'm here for you" she said softly. "I don?t want 
you 
 burying this inside. I know you're real good at doing that."
 
 "I promise if I need to talk about it, I'll find you" he said with a 
small 
 smile. "But only if you promise to go get dressed before you freeze to 
death 
 over here."
 
 She nodded and finally got up, blow drying her hair before getting 
dressed, 
 all the while keeping her eye on him at the other end of the room.
    
He had turned back to ZNN and was again staring in transfixion as the 
horse-drawn 
caisson brought the body to the grave site.

"Harm you're obsessing again," she called as soon as she shut off the 
hair dryer. 

"I should have been there.  I should have offered to be part of the 
honor guard.  I 
should have been able to tell his wife what happened.  Look at her Mac.  
She must 
have aged ten years since that night."

"Yeah I know the feeling," she retorted, slipping quickly into her 
jeans and sweatshirt 
with him too busy staring at the TV to notice her.

"I could have at least asked to escort her.  Not that she would want 
me.  The man 
who let her husband die."

"OK that's it.  It's getting deep in here," she groaned, crossing the 
floor and reaching 
for the remote from the coffee table, intending to shut it off.

His arm shot out and grabbed her wrist with such intensity she gave a 
short startled 
cry.  

At once that shook him from his trance and he turned to her.  "I'm 
sorry.  I hurt you.  
I'm sorry."  His words spilled out and his face mirrored the shock he 
felt.

"Relax Flyboy, you just startled me that's all," she replied and 
wrapped her arms 
around his middle.  "Seriously though if you don't stop that you're 
going to give me 
survivor's guilt."

"Huh?"  

"You're going to make me wish you had saved him instead of me," she 
replied 
quietly.

"Oh god no.  That's not what I want, and it's sure as hell not what I 
wish," he gasped, 
his arms going around her so tightly it was as if she might be taken 
away right then 
and there.

"OK just checking," she choked out, squeezed by his hold.

"I would have done the same thing again in a heartbeat," he told her, 
his mouth 
coming down on hers firmly, letting his kiss emphasize his words.  At 
the same time 
his hand groped for the remote and shut off the TV.  "Let's go enjoy 
some of that 
fresh air."

"Harm we can still talk about it."

"No need.  Not right now."

"OK.  But when we get back, well if you want to pay a call on his wife, 
you know I'll go 
with you."

He looked at her in amazement.  "You would?"

"Of course I would.  Why wouldn't I?  Flyboy you need to get your head 
out of your 
six and get used to the idea that there's not anything I wouldn't do 
for you."

He gulped hard and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to 
his side.  
"Let's take that walk."

Alpine Mountain loomed above them as they walked down the road and he 
turned to 
her and smiled.  "You up to that?  Climbing I mean?"

"Yeah but I don't think you are," she returned, staring at the summit.

"If I promise I'll stop if I get winded?  It's not a steep climb 
anyway.  You can see the 
trails going up.  I mean I don't think we need Sherpas and I promise to 
take it easy 
just so's you don't worry."

She regarded him dubiously.  "OK, only on that condition and that we 
backpack some 
food up there and rest before we start back down."

"You're on Marine."
   
 
  He quickly made up two sandwiches and grabbed some water bottles, 
putting 
  all of it into one of the backpacks.
  
  "Okay we've got lunch" he smiled as he swung the pack over his 
shoulder. 
  "You ready to walk?"
  
  "Slow and steady sailor" she said as they started out. "We're not in 
a hurry 
  and you're not supposed to be running any marathon's just yet."
  
  "We'll take it slow" he promised. "I don't want you hurting yourself 
  either."
  
  For the first half-hour they walked quietly, neither saying anything 
as they 
  made their way up the mountain.
  
  "You doing okay?" she asked as she came to a stop.
  
  "I'm fine. How about you? Your leg doing okay?"
  
  She nodded and they continued on, her pace a little slower than 
before. "So 
  you want to talk about anything?" she prodded gently.
  
  "If you mean about the crash, no" he sighed. "Mac, I'll deal with it 
  somehow.  And I appreciate your offer to go with me to see his wife."
  
  "I want to help in anyway I can" she said softly.
  
  "Thanks" he said with a small smile. "Right now I'm just glad you're 
still 
  here with me. And that we're here. I guess the Admiral had the right 
idea by 
  sending us out of town."
  
  "You need this. You weren't ready to face all that yet."
  
  "No I wasn't," he admitted. "And I'm not looking forward to talking 
to the 
  investigators but I guess we'll have to deal with that when we get 
back."
  
  "You did nothing wrong" Mac said gently. "And why don't we drop this 
for 
  now. We're going to forget about all that for a while and just enjoy 
the 
  fresh air and quiet here."
  
  "I can live with that" he smiled. "And I'm sorry if I'm being a 
downer."
  
  "You're not being a downer. I'm just worried about you is all."
  
  "And I'm glad you do" he said softly. "Cause for a long time I didn?t 
think 
  you did anymore."
  
  "Ancient history now" she smiled. "That's all behind us. It's just us 
from 
  here on out and we're going to make it right. Remember what you told 
me in 
  the hospital when you woke up?"
  
  "That we survived everything that happened that night because we 
belong 
  together."
  
  "You believe that don't you?" she whispered.
  
  "Of course I do," he said as he stopped. "We do belong together. And 
now 
  that we know that I don't think we'll let anything stand in our way 
again."
  
  He reached for her and pulled her towards him, their lips meeting in 
a long 
  kiss.
  
  "No we won't," she said with a long contented sigh when they parted.
  
  "Come on Marine" he said with a smile. "We're never going to make it 
up this 
  mountain at this rate."
  
  "Would that be all bad?" she smiled. "That hot tub is awfully nice."
  
  "And it will be nice when we get back from our hike too."
  
  His hand reached for hers and they continued up the trail. It became 
steeper 
  as they climbed, their pace slowing as it did so.
  
  "Take ten" Mac panted as she leaned against a tree a short time 
later. "How 
  you doing?"
  
  "Okay" he managed as he caught his breath.
  
  "You sure?" she asked as she looked at him carefully, noticing at 
once how 
  winded he was. "If this is too much I think we should stop here and 
then 
  head back down. I know you're not a hundred percent yet. Plus those 
clouds 
  are starting to look pretty ominous over there."
  
  "I'm okay" he said after a few deep breaths. "Just not used to being 
this 
  out of shape again. But you're right about those clouds."
  
  "Why don't we just rest here for a while before we head back down?" 
she 
  suggested, reaching for his arm and gently pulling him down to the 
ground 
  with her. "We're in no hurry remember?"
  
  He nodded and allowed her to bring him against her, his head resting 
against 
  her shoulder as they leaned against a tree.
  
  "Better?" she asked a few minutes later. His breathing had calmed and 
she 
  gave his forehead a quick kiss.
  
  "Yeah I'm okay" he assured her. "I'm ready to go whenever you are. 
You doing 
  okay?"
  
  "I'm fine. As long as we don?t have to move fast I'll be okay."
  
  He nodded and together they helped each other to their feet. The 
skies had 
  darkened even more and the wind picked up as the clouds moved closer.
  
  "I hope we can beat that back" Harm said as he eyed the clouds.
  
  Mac nodded and they picked up their pace a little more as the first 
flash of 
  lightening lit up the sky.
  
  "Maybe not" Mac sighed.
  
  Minutes later a loud rumble of thunder followed by another flash of 
  lightening close by startled them both.
  
  "I don't like this" Harm panted as he grabbed her hand. "Come on. We 
need to 
  get back to the cabin before this storm really lets loose."
  
  He spoke too soon as the pelting rain suddenly started ,the wind 
howling 
  through the trees. He held on tightly to her hand, doing his best to 
led her 
  down the hill as quickly as he could. Another crash of lightening, 
this time 
  hitting a nearby tree, splitting it in half and sending it crashing 
to the 
  ground.
  
  Harm picked up the pace again, until her cry behind him stopped him 
as he 
  felt her slipping from his hand.
  
  "Harm my leg" she wailed. "I can't run."
  
  Without another thought he lifted her into his arms, hurrying down 
the 
  remainder of the trail. He could see the cabin looming ahead and with 
his 
  last bit of energy ran across the clearing, finally reaching the 
cabin 
  minutes later. He hurried inside, managing to get her to the sofa 
before 
  collapsing beside her.
  
 "We are soaked," she panted, her head lolling against the back of the 
sofa and 
reaching for him at the same time.  "And you way over-did Sailor.  Your 
lungs weren't 
ready for running in that wind."  
 
 "Just did what I had to do," he replied, his words separated by short, 
sharp, gasps 
for breath.  "More worried about you.  What happened with your leg?"
 
 "I just twisted it when I was running and it gave out."  She reached 
up and pushed 
some wet hair from his face.  "So neither of us are back at one hundred 
percent yet.  
The doctor told me I shouldn't shy away from the exercise."
 
 "Well he didn't mean running," Harm chided her, "but of course look 
who's talking."
 
 "You're not talking.  You're wheezing," she scolded.  "You brought 
your breathing 
gadget didn't you?"
 
 "It's in my bag but you know I hate that thing."
 
 "Better than me listening to you wheeze and scaring me to death," she 
retorted, "but 
first out of these wet things and into that warm hot tub I think."  As 
she was speaking 
she was tugging at his soaked shirt and he gave her a lopsided grin.
 
 "Somehow this is not how I imagined it would be the first time you 
undressed me."
 
 "Yeah well it's not my fantasy either," she smiled.  "However if you 
help me out here 
I might share mine with you."
 
 "You'll tell me a story?"
 
 "I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours," she laughed, pulling 
harder on the shirt, the 
sodden fabric being decidedly uncooperative.
 
 With a sheepish smile he stood up and stripped to the wet boxers, then 
helped her 
up and pulled off her sweatshirt over her head.  "Uh . . . maybe you 
should do the 
jeans.  They look pretty plastered to you."
 
 "Good thing I elected to wear underwear today," she smiled teasingly, 
leaning 
against him as she struggled out of the jeans that had seemed to have 
shrunk two 
sizes.
 
 As quickly as it had arose, the storm abated and the sun was peaking 
from behind 
the mountain once more.  He stepped into the tub and brought her in 
after him, 
settling them down together.  "OK Marine I'm ready,  Uh. . .for your 
story I mean."
 
 "OK, but remember I get to hear yours.  Mine is actually very simple."
 
 "I'm all ears," he announced, grinning with anticipation as he helped 
her to rest 
against him.
 
 "I've always loved the ocean, even though I don't get to see it much," 
she began.  
"So you and I are working a case.  It's a witness protection deal.  
We're keeping this 
woman safe for a few weeks until all the evidence is gathered.  
Naturally Clay Webb 
is involved.  Anyway we're at a house on the beach  OK."  Her face took 
on a half-
dreamy, half-amused appearance as she continued.  "And you're walking 
down by 
the water.  I come down to see you because you'd been so quiet all day, 
and I ask 
you if you're missing Renee that much."
 
 "Excuse me?" he yelped at that point.  "Missing Renee?  I'm still?  I 
mean she and I 
are. . .?"  His eyes narrowed.  "And where is Brumby during this?"
 
 "Oh I've long since told him it won't be happening," she giggled.  "I 
came to my 
senses before I even moved the ring."
 
 "And I'm still with Renee?"  His eyebrows were raised fully.
 
 "Yes now get past that and listen," she ordered.  "So I ask you if 
you're missing 
Renee."
 
 "And what do I tell you?  And since we're in this romantic beach 
house, I hope it's 
hell no."
 
 "Bingo," she laughed again, easing her sore leg up to rest on the 
opposite bench.  
"So I sit down in the sand there at the water's edge and you sit behind 
me, rubbing 
my back and neck like I did to you in my place that time, and then I 
lean my head 
back and you kiss me.  Am I getting too sappy here for you Sailor?"
 
 "No not at all," he sighed, at that moment totally caught up in her 
tale.  "Was it sort of 
like this?"  He put his head over her shoulder and she leaned back, 
letting his lips 
contact hers.
 
 "Just like that."
 
 "Go on please," he begged.
 
 "Except that the kiss gets more serious and demanding, and the next 
thing I know 
I'm flat on my back on the sand and you and I are kissing--seriously 
kissing, while 
we. . .well we help each other out of our shorts and tee shirts.  And 
then. . ."
 
 "And then I make love to you," he whispered, enraptured by the 
pictures her words 
were painting.
 
 "Basically, yeah," she giggled.  "Total sap right?"
 
 "No it's beautiful," he breathed and nuzzled at her neck, adding 
mischievously, "so is 
Clay watching from the window with binoculars?"

?Knowing Clay I suspect so,? she laughed.  ?OK what?s your fantasy 
dream Mr. 
Rabb??  
  
  "Well it starts with us in a hot tub just like this" he whispered as 
he 
  kissed her neck.
  
  "I'm listening" she smiled. "Go on."
  
  "And then we start to kiss like this" he said softly as he turned her 
to 
  face him. Their lips met in a long kiss and when they finally parted 
both 
  were breathless.
  
  "What happens next?" she panted.
  
  "I don?t know" he whispered. "I always wake up at this point."
  
  "What do you want to happen next?" she whispered.
  
  "I want to make love to you Sarah" he said so softly she barely heard 
him.
  
  "You do?"
  
  "Yes I do" he managed before her lips found his again, another long 
and 
  passionate kiss ensuing. It was only when he couldn't keep a cough 
down that 
  they finally parted. He turned away as a small coughing fit took over 
and 
  Mac rubbed his back gently.
  
  "You okay?" she asked gently.
  
  "Yeah I'm fine" he managed between coughs.
  
  "You don't sound it" she fretted. "And your duty station for the rest 
of the 
  day is in the cabin on that sofa."
  
  "Only if you're with me" he countered.
  
  "Nowhere else I'd be" she said softly.
  
  "Mac about my fantasy" he started sheepishly, only to be silenced by 
a 
  gentle finger to his lips.
  
  "I want that too. But there's no reason we have to hurry is there?"
  
  "No there's not" he smiled. "We have plenty of time. And I want us to 
do 
  this right this time. We've both messed up a lot in the past and this 
time I 
  don't want to mess this up. It means more to me than anything else."
  
  "I know cause I feel the same way," she said softly. "Now let's get 
you 
  inside and we'll talk about this some more later."
  
  She helped him from the hot tub and after both had taken showers they 
  settled onto the large sofa in the living room.
  
  "I'm in charge of the remote this time" she said firmly as she 
snuggled with 
  him.
  
  "Mac I do want to go see his wife" Harm said quietly. "As soon as we 
get 
  back."
  
  "And I'll go with you. It's not something you should do alone."
  
  ***********
  The four days passed too quickly for them and on Sunday morning they 
packed 
  their stuff and made one last trip around the cabin.
  
  "You think the Admiral's friend would ever let us come up here again" 
Mac 
  smiled. "I kind of like this place."
  
  "Wouldn't hurt to ask. And maybe the next time we can finish those 
  fantasies" he grinned.
  
  "Come on Flyboy" she said as she gave him a playful swat. "We'd 
better head 
  back."
  
  He was quiet most of the long trip back and when they reached DC he 
let out 
  a long sigh.
  
  "Okay sailor, what's going through that mind of yours?" she said 
softly.
  
  "Just thinking of where we were this time last week" he said quietly. 
"Seems 
  like it was longer than a week ago."
  
  "That's because we had four wonderful days at the cabin" she smiled 
as she 
  reached for his hand. "You going to be okay?"
  
  "Yeah I think so" he sighed.
  
  "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" she offered softly. "It 
wouldn't 
  take much to twist my arm and get me to stay."
  
  "Would you mind?"
  
  "Not at all. In fact I got pretty used to having your arms around me 
at 
  night."
  
  "And I got pretty used to holding you all night" he admitted. "And I 
know 
  we're not ready for the next step yet but I just need to be with you 
right 
  now."
  
  "The feeling is very mutual. I still haven't forgotten how scared I 
was when 
  the Admiral came to get me that night and said you weren't doing 
well. I 
  almost lost you and I won't soon forget that."
  
  "Neither will I" Harm whispered. "So shall we go to your place?"
  
  She nodded and a short time later he pulled the SUV into the lot of 
her 
  apartment building and the two weary officers made their way up to 
her 
  apartment.
  
  **************
  JAG HQ's
  Next Morning
  
  "I trust you two had a restful long weekend" AJ smiled at his two 
officers. 
  "You look much better than the last time I saw both of you."
  
  "Yes we did sir" Harm replied. "Thank you for arranging that."
  
  "You're welcome.  I should warn you that the investigators will be in 
today 
  to talk to both of you concerning the crash. I managed to hold them 
off this 
  long but they'll be in first thing this morning."
  
  "Understood sir" Harm nodded and Mac's hand gently brushed against 
Harm's 
  and he gave her a small smile. "And speaking of that sir, I'd uh, 
like to 
  visit the Secnav's wife if possible."
  
  "Harm you don?t have to do that" AJ said quietly.
  
  "Yes I do sir."
 
 "Really Harm she has to know it's not your fault."
 
 "Sir I'd just feel better if that came from her.  I mean I wanted to 
go back for them 
honestly I did, but there was just no way.  By the time I found Mac 
here, the plane 
was full of water.  If they had put their vests on like they should 
have, and if they had 
gotten out right away and if. . ."
 
 "And if you don't stop you're going to give us all nightmares," Mac 
told him, her 
gentle hand to his arm.
 
 "Well they can join the repertoire," he returned.  "I mean I still 
relive the ramp strike 
and we know how long ago that was."
 
 "Sir I'm not really sure it's a good idea either, but if it gives him 
some sense of 
closure," Mac offered.  "Besides I'll be going with him so he doesn't 
go off the deep 
end."
 
 "Has that ever stopped him before?"
 
 "Sir a piece of advice, cute doesn't become you," Harm smiled.  "Is 
that a yes?"
 
 "Are you planning on going anyway?"
 
 "Yes sir."
 
 "Then it's a yes  Just know that at the funeral she did not handle it 
real well.   She's 
not a young woman and this was a total shock to her."
 
 "Yes sir I can relate," Mac sighed, thinking of a night in May when 
she waited to 
learn Harm's fate.  
 
 As if reading her mind, his hand slid across to cover hers.
 
 "OK," AJ nodded, his eyes resting momentarily on their hands.  "On 
that note, 
dismissed.  Just be gentle Mr. Rabb--with the investigators I mean.  
They're only 
doing their job."
 
 "Aye Sir."
 
 They walked out and Harm turned to Mac with a quick smile.  "I guess 
I'll see you at 
the inquisition."
 ===============
 "Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie, Commander Rabb reporting," Mac 
announced to the 
Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who stood upon their entry into the 
conference room.
 
 "Pleased to meet you both.  I'm Lieutenant Colonel Millford, put in 
charge of the 
accident investigation, not by my choosing I might add."
 
 "Have you made any determination as to what caused the plane to lose 
altitude like 
that?  I might guess something to do with the stabilizer trim."
 
 "We're looking at that pretty closely," Millford nodded, and if he 
thought it odd that 
Harm pulled out Mac's chair he did not even raise an eyebrow.  
"Commander I see 
that you're an aviator so I'm especially interested on your take. . ." 
He paused and 
looked to Mac, more intently than Harm might have wished.  "Not that I 
want to 
discount your input Colonel."  He opened his folders and studied them 
for a long 
moment before he looked up.  "OK which of you wants to step out of the 
room first?"  
 
 "If it's possible I think we'd like to both remain," Harm said, 
keeping his tone casual, 
and his hand resting on the back of Mac's chair in what Millford 
interpreted as a 
partially protective, partially territorial, gesture.
 
 "Commander you're a trained investigator just as I am," Millford said 
easily.  "I think 
you know the answer to that.  Look no one is here to lay blame.  We 
hear all 
accounts and look for any discrepancies just as you would in any 
investigation."
 
 "Of course, it's called divide and conquer, separate and trip up," 
Harm replied, 
making no move to rise.
 
 "Colonel you'll have to excuse my partner, Commander Paranoid," Mac 
smiled.  
"Look if it will help you do your job and get this over with, I'll be 
glad to go powder my 
nose."
 
 "Thank you Colonel," Millford sighed in relief and a second later with 
a quick nod to 
Harm, she was gone.
 
 "You and her, good friends," he nodded, uncapping his pen as his gaze 
rested on 
Harm.
 
 "Very," he replied firmly, letting just a touch of implied threat 
linger.  "OK, SecNav 
and Commander Lindsay disregarded the crews suggestion to put on vests.  
If you 
want something good to come out of this, make it mandatory that all 
passengers 
wear them.  If I had not had mine on I would have been sucked under and 
might not 
have made it to the surface as the plane was filling."
 
 "Says here you saved Colonel Mackenzie's life," Millford observed 
mildly.  "In doing 
so you did not attend to the needs of the others?"
 
 "There was no way to get to them in any kind of timely manner.  They 
were across 
the hold, separated from us by all kinds of crates and other equipment.  
More 
importantly, the colonel was in immediate danger.  She was below the 
water's 
surface, held fast by one of the crates as it turned out.  Secnav and 
Lindsay should 
have been able to manage for themselves, and had they worn their vests 
they would 
have been OK."
 
 Millford stopped his furious note taking long enough to look to Harm 
with a half 
smile.  "Moreover you saved the life of the person back there who meant 
the most to 
you."
 
 Harm's expression did not change as his eyes met Millford's.  "You got 
that right."
  
 "And if you had to do it again, would you do anything differently?"
 
 "No" Harm said quickly. "I did the right thing."
 
 "You believe that don't you?"
 
 "What would you have done?" Harm countered. "Put yourself in my place 
for a 
 minute."
 
 "You mean choosing between saving the woman I love and the guy in 
charge of 
 the Navy?"
 
 "Look if you don't have any other relevant questions than I think 
we're 
 done" Harm said tersely as he stood up.
 
 "Sit down Commander. I'll let you know when I'm finished."
 
 With a long sigh Harm sank back into the chair. "Look don't think I 
don't 
 think there might have been something else I could have done. There 
isn't a 
 minute that goes by that I haven't thought that since this happened."
 
 "You just had to make a choice," Millford said quietly. "And honestly 
I 
 don't know what I would have done in that situation. Maybe I would 
have done 
 what you did. Or maybe I would have helped them first."
 
 "If I had done that she would have died" Harm whispered. "And I wasn't 
going 
 to let that happen."
 
 "Instead you let two others die" Millford countered. "I think I'm done 
now."
 
 The words of Lt. Colonel Millford rang through his head as he walked 
out of 
 the conference room.
 
 "Harm you okay?" Mac asked gently as he passed her in the hall.
 
 Before he could reply, Millford stuck his head out the door of the 
 conference room.
 
 "Colonel I'm ready for you now."
 
 "We'll talk when I'm done" she whispered as she put a gentle hand to 
Harm's 
 arm before heading into the conference room.
 
 For a minute he leaned against the wall and let out a long breath. 
 Millford's words had done nothing to help the guilt he was already 
feeling.
 
 "Commander you okay?" AJ asked as he walked over to him. "You don't 
look so 
 hot."
 
 "No sir, I'm not" he managed. "If you don't mind, I think I'm going to 
take 
 the rest of the day. Tell Mac I'll call her later."
 
 Before AJ could reply he sprinted to his office and grabbed his 
briefcase 
 before hurrying out the back stairwell.
 
 ************
 
 "Have a seat Colonel" Millford motioned as Mac walked into the 
conference 
 room.
 
 "What did you say to my partner?" Mac demanded. She could tell Harm 
was 
 upset and she knew that Millford was the reason.
 
 "Nothing. I simply asked him the facts of what happened. Why he helped 
you 
 and not the others."
 
 "You didn't" Mac whispered. "How dare you? Do you have any clue how 
guilty 
 he already feels about this? Not that any of it was his fault. If 
they'd 
 been wearing their vests like they should have they would be alive."
 
 "I concur. And maybe there wouldn't have been anything he could have 
done to 
 help them. But we don't know that."
 
 "He saved my life" Mac said quietly. "And what I'm hearing from you is 
that 
 instead he should have saved their lives instead. And you're making 
him bear 
 the guilt for choosing my life over theirs."
 
 "I didn't say that" Millford countered. "I'm just trying to determine 
 whether the Commander acted properly or not that night."
 
 "Not but you sure as hell implied it" Mac snapped. "As for acting 
properly, 
 lets see what you would have done under the circumstances Colonel. 
There 
 wasn't a lot of time to ponder what should be done. We were in a 
sinking 
 plane and Harm did what he could do."
 
 "To save your life" Millford replied. "Because he's in love with you."
 
 *************
 For the first half-hour he simply drove. He had no idea where he was 
going 
 or what he was doing. He just knew he had to have some time away. He 
finally 
 picked up his cell phone and thanks to Tiner secured the address to 
the 
 Secnav's home. He knew Mac had offered to come with him but this was 
 something he needed to do alone. He needed to know if she blamed him 
like 
 Millford did.
 
 A short time later he pulled into the long circular drive of the large 
home. 
 With a deep breath he proceeded to the front door, somehow managing to 
ring 
 the doorbell.
 
 "Can I help you?" the young woman he guessed to be the maid asked.
 
 "I'm Commander Rabb. I uh, need to speak to Mrs. Adams please. Is she 
 available?"
 
 "Can I tell her what this is about?"
 
 "Tell her I'm the one who was on the plane with her husband" Harm said 
 quietly. "I'd like to talk to her if she has a few moments."
 
 "Wait here please" she said as she let him into the large foyer. "I'll 
be 
 right back."
 
 He nodded and moments later she returned and led him to a large 
sitting 
 room.
 
 "She'll be with you in a moment" the maid said before scurrying off.
 
 Harm paced the floor of the room as he waited, trying to figure out 
what he 
 was going to say to this woman. How he was going to explain that he'd 
saved 
 the life of the woman he loved and not that of her husband.
 
 "Commander Rabb" the distinguished looking older woman said quietly as 
she 
 walked into the room a few minutes later. "Jennie tells me you're the 
one 
 who was on the flight with my husband."
 
 "Yes ma'am" Harm said quietly. "I'm sorry about your loss. I uh wish 
there 
 could have been more I could have done."
 
 "I've seen the reports Commander. I know what happened."

 "Well it's still under investigation of course," he replied guardedly.  
"I uh. . ."  He 
stopped and looked at her helplessly.  She was his mother's age, with 
the same kind 
eyes and he gave a long sigh of frustration.  "I wish there was 
something I could say 
ma'am that would make this easier."

"Did you know him?"

"Yes ma'am but only professionally," he answered.  "I mean I'm just a 
commander. . 
.we would have had no reason to come into contact that wasn't 
business."

"Rabb. . . .from the JAG Corps?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Of course," she smiled softly.  "Harmful Rabb."

"Yes ma'am that would be me," he smiled softly.  "Apparently my 
reputation precedes 
me."

"Oh yeah he's expounded at a couple of dinner tables about you," she 
smiled.  "But 
apparently you didn't know him well."

"No ma'am.  Only professionally as I said."

"Then come this way," she said softly, leading him from the entry hall 
into a small 
den.  "This is Paul.  Husband, father and grandfather."  She gestured 
to the mantel 
and a piano sitting nearby, both filled with pictures.  "Our wedding 
picture.  We were 
a handsome couple."

"Oh yeah you were. . .I mean yes ma'am," he smiled, seeing a young man 
in an 
ensign uniform with a smiling, and yes blushing, bride at his side.  
"Chapel at 
Annapolis."

"Exactly.  Forty-six years ago last month.  And these are our boys 
Thomas and Paul 
Junior, and our girls Allison, Jeanette and Ellen.  And of course the 
grand children.   
Nineteen strong now.  Here we all are last summer.  We had a family 
reunion in the 
Shenandoah.  Every one of them managed to come."

"A fine family," he whispered, not knowing what else to say.  

"And we lost the anchor of this family," she whispered back.
============
JAG HQ

"Captain Millford, with respect, that is not your place to comment on," 
Mac said firmly, 
keeping her voice calm and firm.

"But you don't deny it."

"No I won't deny it.  But nor will I confirm it.  It's beneath 
commenting on.  Harm was 
closest to me--I mean physically closest to me.  And Captain I was in 
fact very much 
in danger of dying.  I was trapped by a crate.  I had lost my air and 
when Harm pulled 
me up I was not breathing.  Now if you're him--you've got hold of a 
non-breathing 
person, you're not going to put her down to tend to others."

"Maybe.  Or maybe I realize the importance of the man who's dying ten 
feet away."

"Captain, are we through?" she demanded, ignoring his last comment.  
Her concern 
for Harm was growing by the minute.

"Probably not."

"Let me put it another way.  We are through for today.  If you have any 
further 
relevant--relevant--questions, I'm right here in this headquarters most 
days.  Would 
you excuse me please."  Before the startled Captain could reply she had 
exited the 
room and was hurrying to Harm's office.


  "He's not in there" AJ called as she hurried into Harm's office.
  
  "Where is he?" Mac demanded, forgetting for the moment who she was 
talking 
  to.
  
  "I'll pretend I didn?t hear that come out like that" AJ said as he 
followed 
  her into the office.
  
  "Sir, I'm sorry," Mac said quickly. "Where did Harm go?"
  
  "He bolted after his interview with Colonel Millford" AJ sighed. 
"Said to 
  tell you he'd call you later. That was it. You want to tell me what 
Colonel 
  Millford said that upset him so much."
  
  "Colonel Millford is an idiot," Mac said before she could stop 
herself. 
  "He's making Harm feel guilty for saving my life and not the 
Secnav's."
  
  "I figured that. And let me guess Harm was already on a guilt trip."
  
  "Yes sir. That's why he wanted to go see the Secnav's wife. It's 
eating him 
  up inside that this happened and there was nothing else he could have 
done. 
  Except let me die."
  
  "Yeah and hell would freeze over before he would have ever let that 
happen," 
  AJ said quietly.
  
  "And I would have done the same thing if the situation would have 
been 
  reversed sir."
  
  "I know" AJ nodded. "And that's something we'll have to have a 
discussion 
  about at some point now that you two have this new relationship. But 
right 
  now the important thing is to find your partner."
  
  Mac nodded as AJ walked out of the office and picked up the phone and 
dialed 
  Harm's cell phone. She got his voice mail and left a message, knowing 
even 
  if he got the message he probably wouldn't call. She tried his 
apartment 
  just in case but again got the answering machine.
  
  "He's not answering anywhere" Mac reported to AJ a few minutes later 
in his 
  office. "I'm doing my best not to panic sir but you know he really 
isn't 
  totally well yet."
  
  "Mac I'm sure wherever he is he's okay" AJ sighed. "He probably just 
needed 
  some time alone to work through this."
  
  "Excuse me sir, ma'am" Tiner said as he knocked lightly on the door. 
"Are 
  you talking about the Commander?"
  
  "Yes have you heard from him?" Mac asked.
  
  "He called here and asked if I could get him the address of the 
SecNav."
  
  "He went to see her alone" Mac groaned. "I didn't want him to do that 
alone. 
  What if she blames him like Millford does?"
  
  "Tiner, get me the number and I'll call over there" AJ said quietly. 
"Maybe 
  he's still there and I can talk to him."
  
  ******************
  "I should be going ma'am" Harm said quietly as the Secnav's wife 
continued 
  to show him the pictures of the family. "Again, I'm really sorry for 
your 
  loss."
  
  "It's not your fault," she said somberly. "There was nothing you 
could do. 
  Like I said, I read the initial report. I know that Paul and Teddy 
didn't 
  put on their life vests like they should have. And for that reason, 
there's 
  no one to blame."
  
  "Yes ma'am, if they had done that they most likely would have 
survived" Harm 
  nodded.
  
  "Thank you for stopping by. I didn't see you at the services did I?"
  
  "No ma'am. I wasn't able to attend. I was still recovering from the 
  accident." As he said the words he felt another stab of guilt. Yes 
he'd been 
  recovering but he could have made it.
  
  "Oh yes I remember reading that. And you don't look all that well yet 
either 
  Commander. You need to go home and rest."
  
  "I'm going to do that ma'am" he lied as she led him to the door. 
"Again, I'm 
  so sorry about what happened."
  
  "Thank you. Somehow we'll get through it."
  
  He nodded and made a quick exit before she could say anything else. 
Once 
  inside his SUV, he let out a deep breath. Looking at pictures of the 
  Secnav's family had done nothing to help with the overwhelming sense 
of 
  guilt he was feeling. But at the same time his heart screamed to him 
that 
  he'd made the choice. That there was no way he could live without 
Mac. And 
  that someway, he'd get through this. He pulled out of the driveway 
with no 
  intention of going home. He knew Mac would be worried about him but 
he 
  wasn't ready to face her yet.
  
  ******************
  "Okay thank you" AJ sighed as he hung up the phone.  "He just left. 
He told 
  her he was going home."
  
  "Why don't I believe that?" Mac said quietly.
  
  "Because you know your partner better than anyone else," AJ said with 
a 
  small smile. "Do you know where he might have gone?"
  
  "I can guess a few places" Mac replied. "With your permission sir, 
I'd like 
  to go find him."
  
  "You won't get any work done here worrying about him so go on. Just 
let me 
  know when you find him."
  
  "Will do sir" Mac nodded. She stood up and walked to the door, 
stopping as 
  she reached for the handle. "Sir, do you think what Harm did was 
wrong? 
  Saving my life instead of the Secnav's?"
  
 AJ studied her thoughtfully before he answered in a gentle tone.  
"Sarah I don't think 
there is a right or wrong here.  I think it was one of those things you 
had to be there.  
And I think it's wrong to second guess.  Captain Millford is doing his 
job.  You would 
do the same questioning if you were investigating."
 
 "I would have died sir.  But then maybe my life wasn't worth the two 
of theirs."
 
 "And if he had gone after them, that might have cost all four lives," 
AJ nodded.  "Mac 
it's done, and the second guessing isn't going to change it.  Right now 
the important 
thing is that Harm can live with what happened.  If in his own heart he 
knows he did 
the right thing, that's going to go a long way to easing his mind."
 
 "Yes sir," she sighed.  "But you know that Rabb mind.  Once he gets 
something 
stuck in it, he has a hard time letting it go."
 
 "Where do you think he went?"
 
 "To talk to his dad sir.  Excuse me."
 
 That was indeed Harm's destination.  He left the Bethesda home of the 
Secnav and 
made a circuitous route through Rock Creek and the zoo, enjoying the 
respite from 
the traffic and noise.  His hand reached for his cell several times, 
intending to call 
Mac, and yet he could not  yet.  He had to get his own mind straight 
first.
 
 For Mac, the drive into DC consisted of her saying over and over 'hang 
on Harm I'm 
coming'.  It was not until she parked and was walking past the Lincoln 
Memorial that 
she slowed her pace, suddenly questioning whether  he wanted her there 
or would 
want to be alone.
 
 She spotted him easily, knowing which panel contained the name of Lt. 
Harmon 
David Rabb Sr.  Quietly she approached him, stopping when she was six 
feet away, 
standing uncertainly.
 
 Harm meanwhile was tracing the slightly indented letters as he always 
did, his eyes 
closed, his mind on a man of whom his memories at times seemed to be 
more and 
more vague and fuzzy.  "She would have died Dad," he whispered.  "She 
was dying.   
She was all but dead when I pulled her out.  I don't care what anyone 
says Dad.  I 
don't care."  Irritably he wiped an unwanted tear.  "You understand 
don't you Dad?  
You understand how it is to love. . ."  The word caught in his throat 
and he choked.  
The truth.  The truth hitting him between the eyes with the accuracy of 
a sniper's 
bullet.   He took a long breath, and found it was the first truly easy 
breath he had 
drawn.
 
 "I did the right thing Dad.  I did," he went on fiercely, not 
realizing how loudly he had 
spoken until. . .
 
 "I think you did too, if that means anything.  And not because it was 
me you saved, 
but because you had to make a choice in a matter of seconds."
 
 "Mac?"  He did not turn around, but rather let the fact of her 
presence wash over 
him.
 
 "Yeah Sailor."
 
 "You knew I'd be here didn't you."  It was a statement, not a 
question.  "You know 
me so well--almost too well.  It's kind of scary."
 
 "Face it Flyboy.  You and I are fated to be together."
 
 He turned around slowly and she did not advance, keeping the distance 
between 
them.  "Harm the last thing I wanted was to intrude on you here.  But I 
was 
concerned about you.  I know when you're ready to talk you will, and 
I'm going to 
leave you alone now.  But I had to see for myself you were OK."
 
 He nodded in silence and turned back to the Wall, hearing her 
footsteps in retreat.  
"Mac no," he yelped a few seconds later.  "No don't go.  I need you. "
  
  She turned and opened her arms to him and he slowly walked into them, 
her 
  arms going around him at once.
  
  "It's going to be okay sailor" she whispered as she held him tightly. 
For 
  several minutes they stayed that way until he finally pulled back to 
look at 
  her.
  
  "Thank you for being here" he said softly. "How did you know I needed 
you?"
  
  "Millford told me what he asked you. I knew you were upset and when 
Tiner 
  told us you'd called and gotten directions to the Secnav's house, I 
thought 
  I might find you here."
  
  "I thought she would hate me" Harm whispered. "But she just wanted to 
show 
  me pictures of the family. Which was worse than if she'd yelled at me 
and 
  blamed me for what happened."
  
  "When is it going to get through that thick skull of yours that it's 
not 
  your fault. You had a split second to make a decision and you did 
what you 
  thought was right."
  
  "Millford doesn't see it that way."
  
  "Millford is an idiot. And I told the Admiral that."
  
  "You did" Harm said with a hint of a smile.
  
  "Yes I did. But I don't want to talk about him. I want to talk about 
you and 
  make sure you're okay."
  
  "I am now" he sighed as he reached for her hand. "I'm sorry I took 
off like 
  that. But after my interview with Millford I just had to get away."
  
  "Why did you go see Mrs. Adams alone?" she asked. "You know I was 
going to 
  go with you."
  
  "It was something I needed to do alone. I know you wanted to go but I 
just 
  needed to handle it myself."
  
  "No more running off on me" she chided him. "I care a lot about you 
and I 
  was worried about you when the Admiral said you'd taken off."
  
  "Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I just knew I needed some space."
  
  "Well next time take me with you" she said with a small smile. "You 
okay 
  now?"
  
  "I think so," he said with a long sigh. "Mac when you got here, how 
long 
  were you standing there."
  
  "Long enough to hear you say something that sounded like the word 
love" Mac 
  whispered.  "But I'm not going to hold you to that. I know when the 
time is 
  right you'll say the words again."
  
  For a moment he was silent before looking into her brown eyes.
  
  "I can say the words Sarah" he whispered. "Because after that night I 
know 
  what I feel. I love you. And I want us to be together."
  
  "I love you too Harm" she said softly, her hand gently stroking his 
cheek. 
  "And we will be together. We're going to get through this together 
and then 
  there's nothing to keep us apart."
  
  "Promise" he whispered as he retreated back into her arms.
  
  "Promise Flyboy. You didn't save my life for no reason."
  
  ********************
  JAG HQ's
  Monday, May 20th
  
  "Lunch?" Harm asked as he stuck his head in Mac's office. She had her 
back 
  to the door, staring out the window. "Earth to Mac. Hello."
  
  "Oh sorry" she said as she whirled around in her chair. "Did you say 
  something?"
  
  "I asked if you wanted to go to lunch" he smiled as he sank down in 
front of 
  her desk. "Have a little alone time."
  
  For the past five weeks they'd grown even closer since that afternoon 
at the 
  Wall when they'd admitted how they felt. They kept their relationship 
low 
  key at work, only allowing themselves stolen moments when they were 
alone at 
  lunch.
  
  "As wonderful as that sounds, do you really think that's a wise idea 
with 
  the Admiral in his mood today?" Mac asked. "I went to ask him about 
the 
  McGruder case and he told me to come back later."
  
  "He's been that way for the past week. Any idea what's up?"
  
  "Not a clue" she sighed. "And don't laugh but I have this feeling."
  
  "Good or bad feeling?" he asked. "Cause you know what happened last 
time I 
  had one of those feelings."
  
  "Well it's not a good feeling I can tell you that. It's that 
impending doom 
  feeling you had that night."
  
  "Okay, no more doom and gloom. We're going to lunch."
  
  "Sir, ma'am, the Admiral has called a special staff meeting" Tiner 
said as 
  he appeared at the door. "He wants everyone in the conference room 
ASAP. And 
  I wouldn't keep him waiting."
  
  "Great" Harm sighed. "We'll be right there Tiner."
  
  The JAG staff gathered in the conference room and a few seconds later 
AJ 
  walked into the room.
  
  "As you are all aware, the new SecNav was appointed a few weeks ago. 
His 
  first order of business was to look into staffing levels and see if 
there 
  was a way to cut costs. It appears that this office is the first to 
have the 
  budget ax swing its way."
  
  AJ paused and took a deep breath as he looked at his staff. He hated 
what he 
  had to do but there was nothing he could do.
  
  "Effective immediately, the following personnel are being reassigned. 
  Commander Rabb, you have been transferred to the Navy Legal Services 
Office 
  in Bahrain. Commander Turner, you have been transferred to the JAG 
office at 
  Pearl Harbor. Colonel Mackenzie will remain on as my chief of staff, 
along 
  with Lt. Roberts and Lt. Singer."
  
  The End.
	Watch for the next chapter of Distant Hearts, coming soon.