Counting Sacrifices 
By Jared Chapman

Rating: PG

Disclaimer:  I do not own JAG or any of the characters in this story.  
Those 
of you who do…please don’t sue me.  I’m just another one of the 
thousands of 
fans who love your shows and I am not profiting in any way from this 
story.  
Those of you who read this story…please do not copy or redistribute it.  
You 
could get me in trouble and that’s just not nice!  However, if you wish 
to 
archive it, please send me an email and I will be happy to say ok!

Summary:  When Mac returns from her TAD assignment, she finds a clue 
that 
leads her to what she’s always wanted.

Spoilers:  “Measure of Men” and “Guilt”

Feedback:  jared2142@hotmail.com

Archive: BTL


2054 Eastern Time
Wednesday
Washington Beltway

‘I said it.  She just didn’t hear me,’ Harm thought as he pushed his 
SUV 
well beyond the posted limit.  Ever since their conversation aboard the 
Guadalcanal, he had been able to think of little else.  They had been 
so 
close to finally admitting their feelings, and then she had asked the 
big 
question.  ‘What are you willing to give up to have me?  Would you give 
up 
your girlfriend, Harm?’  Then he had given her the same song and dance 
that 
he always had.  ‘What if I did?’  It had only taken him a moment to 
realize 
that that was the wrong answer, but by the time he had answered ‘Yes, I 
would,’ she was already gone.

Now all he could do was wait.  ‘When she gets back, I am going to tell 
her.  
Even if I have to write it on my forehead,’ he thought with a weak 
chuckle.  
At that moment, he began to feel just how tired and emotionally drained 
he 
was.  ‘A nice hot shower and some sleep, that ought to do the trick,’ 
he 
thought as he turned the vehicle onto his street.

Suddenly, a look of dread came over his face.  There, in the parking 
lot of 
his building, was a certain blue Jaguar.  “Not now!” he groaned as he 
pulled 
into the spot next to his girlfriend’s car.  “When did she get back?” 
he 
muttered as he made his way to the door of his apartment.  ‘Oh well, no 
time 
like the present,’ he thought just as the door opened.  When he stepped 
inside, he found the apartment illuminated by candlelight with a 
beautiful 
dinner already prepared on the table.  He turned to his right where he 
found 
Renee, dressed in a lovely green dress.  He didn’t notice that it was 
lovely.  In fact, he didn’t even notice all the trouble that she had 
gone 
thru to welcome him home.  Now, when he saw Renee, all he saw was a 
substitute.  She had merely been a substitute because Mac had been with 
Brumby.  Now everything had changed, and Harm had realized just how 
wrong he 
had been to lead Renee on.

“Welcome home, Sailor,” she said softly, closing the distance between 
them 
and placing a soft kiss on his lips.  “I’ve missed you,” she said, 
fully 
expecting to hear him say how much he had missed her too.  Instead, he 
pulled away and wandered toward the window, where he let out a long 
sigh.

“Renee, we need to talk.”

“What is it, Harm?” she asked even though she already knew where this 
was 
going.  She had feared this moment ever since Mic Brumby had left to go 
back 
to Australia.  In her heart she knew that with Mac back on the market, 
Harm 
would eventually break it off with her.  But, she had decided to try 
just 
the same.

“I’ve done something horrible, Renee.  I haven’t been honest with you 
these 
months that we have been together.”

“It’s Mac isn’t it,” she replied, a single tear sliding down her cheek.  
“You’re in love with her.”  It wasn’t a question.  It was just a simple 
statement of what she already knew to be true.  Just the same, hearing 
his 
answer shattered her heart in a way she had never felt before.

“Yes, I am.  I’m so sorry, Renee.  I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” she whispered, her tears now turning to sobs.  “Just be 
happy, 
ok?” she said, kissing his cheek and then fleeing thru the door and out 
of 
his life before he could say another word.

“I’m so sorry,” he said to the empty apartment as his own tears began 
to 
fall.  After staring out the window for what felt like hours, he blew 
out 
the candles on the table and crawled into bed.  His thoughts had 
shifted 
back to his beautiful Marine, and his mind turned over and over again 
trying 
to figure out a way to make her see how much he would give up for her.

After several hours of trying to get some sleep and not getting any at 
all, 
Harm found himself wandering around his own living room.  Then, 
suddenly, 
something just clicked in his mind.  He knew what he needed to do to 
win her 
heart, and he wasn’t going to wait another second to start.

*    *    *    *    *

TWO DAYS LATER

0954 Eastern Time
Friday
Mac’s Apartment
Georgetown

After a very long night flight back to the states, Mac was ready to 
crash.  
She didn’t have to report to JAG until Monday and she intended to sleep 
until then.  She unlocked her door and made her way to the kitchen for 
a 
cold drink of water before heading off to sleep.  As she opened the 
bottled 
water, she turned towards the center of the kitchen.  There, on the 
counter, 
was a mysterious looking envelope with three red roses lying on top.  
After 
looking at the envelope for a moment, she picked it up and opened it 
revealing a short note in Harm’s handwriting.


Dear Sarah,

You asked the question and you deserve an answer.
However, there is more than one answer.
Follow the clues and gather the answers to your question.

Clue #1

It’s yellow and it has wings.
Go to its nest and you will find the first answer and the second clue.

Love,
Harm

P.S.  For once, be a good sport, Marine.  Go along with it.
< - - - - Insert my famous smile here to convince you - - - - >


Mac couldn’t help but laugh at the last part.  In all honesty, she 
didn’t 
feel much like playing games at the moment.  All she wanted to do was 
curl 
up and go to sleep.  But, her curiosity soon got the better of her and 
she 
made her way back down to her car and left for Leesburg.  ‘He must not 
want 
to drag this out,’ she thought when she realized just how obvious his 
clue 
had been.  ‘I sure hope this is going where I think it is.’

*    *    *    *    *

1215 Eastern Time
Friday
Leesburg Airfield
Leesburg, Virginia

‘It’s a beautiful day for flying,’ the old man thought as he gazed at 
the 
yellow Navy Stearman parked on the other side of the hanger.  It 
reminded 
him of the good old days, back when he had been a Navy pilot.  ‘Oh 
well, 
back to work.’  Just then he heard a loud knock on the hanger door.  
‘That 
must be the girl,’ he muttered, remembering the conversation he had had 
with 
Harm the day before.

Meanwhile, Mac stood outside wondering if she would see him here.  His 
note 
didn’t say how many clues were in this riddle, and she began to wonder 
if 
this was just a way of getting her to the airfield to go flying.  Then, 
just 
as she was about to give up and head for home, she heard the lock turn 
on 
the door.  Her heart began to race in anticipation as she wondered who 
was 
on the other side of the door.  Her countenance dropped a notch when 
the 
door opened revealing the little old man she recognized as the field 
mechanic.

“Colonel Mackenzie?” he asked, recognizing the woman but wanting to be 
sure.

“Yes, my friend Harm asked me to come here, but I’m not sure why.”

“Come with me, Colonel,” he said, nodding for her to enter.  “Harm 
asked 
that I let you in to see Sarah today.”

“Thank you,” she replied, now obviously disappointed that he wasn’t 
here.

“Go on ahead,” he said motioning to the plane.  “I think he left 
something 
for you in the passenger seat.”  With that the little old man left her 
and 
went back to work on another plane.  Carefully, Mac climbed onto the 
wing 
and looked in the passenger seat.  There she found a large box 
containing a 
scale model of the Stearman that she recognized from Harm’s office.  
Taped 
to the top wing was a small index card with a short note in black 
marker.

Answer #1

MY PLANE

Clue #2

It’s the place where I am most at home.
Go to where it is docked, and you will find Answer #2 and clue #3.

She smiled a soft smile as she realized where she would have to go for 
the 
next part of the game.  One her favorite memories happened on those 
docks 
and now he was sending her there.  She ran quickly to her car and sped 
out 
of the parking lot, leaving a very confused mechanic behind to wonder 
what 
his young pilot friend was up to.

*    *    *    *    *

Author’s Note:  I have no clue how long it takes to get from Leesburg 
to 
Norfolk.  Frankly, it doesn’t matter.  For the purpose of this story, 
it 
takes two hours.  If it should actually take longer, just chalk it up 
to the 
fact that she’s driving a Vette!

1425 Eastern Time
Friday
Norfolk Naval Base
Norfolk, Virginia

As Mac pulled into the parking lot at Norfolk, she began to really feel 
how 
tired she was.  ‘Any way you look at it…’ she thought with a sigh.  
“…this 
is the last clue for today, Flyboy.’  With that she got out of her car 
and 
made her way to the docks.  There she found the USS Patrick Henry 
docked for 
repairs.

At first, she wandered around the docks, looking for some sort of 
package 
from Harm.  Then she heard a familiar voice calling down to her from 
the 
observation deck.  “Colonel Mackenzie!  Up here.”  Mac looked up to 
find 
Harm’s old RIO, Skates, waving her to come on board.  After several 
minutes 
of weaving her way thru the ship, she made it to the observation deck, 
where 
she found Lt. Skates holding another pink envelope.

“Harm asked me to give you this, Ma’am,” she said with a sly grin.

“And just what does that grin mean, Lieutenant?” Mac said, trying to 
sound 
like a tough marine Colonel, when her mind and heart where racing a 
mile a 
minute wondering what was in the envelope.

“Nothing, Ma’am.  I guess I was just thinking how lucky you are.”

“And how is that?”

“Well, I know Harm pretty well, and by the look on his face when he 
gave me 
this, I’d say he’s head over heels in love with you, Ma’am.  Not a bad 
place 
to be, if I may say.”

“Not at all, Lieutenant,” she replied with a smile just as Skates made 
her 
way back inside the ship.  Now alone on the observation deck, Mac 
carefully 
opened the envelope she had handed her a few moments before.  She 
gasped 
when she saw what fell out into her hand.  It was a glistening pair of 
gold 
Navy wings.  She quickly opened the note.

Answer #2

MY WINGS

Clue #3

It’s the only place on earth where an Ex-Seal, an Ex-Tomcat pilot
And a tough, hardnosed, beautiful, wonderful, Marine Colonel
Would possibly find themselves working together.
Go there, and you will find the Answer #3 and Clue #4.

*    *    *    *    *

0936 Eastern Time
Saturday
Mac’s Apartment
Georgetown

After a peaceful night’s sleep and a good breakfast, Mac was ready to 
get 
back to Harm’s little adventure.  She had spent the entire drive back 
from 
Norfolk wondering what Harm had waiting for her at JAG.  Now, as she 
drove 
to the office, she hoped that this would be over soon.  She was 
beginning to 
see the message that he was trying to send and now she just wanted him 
to 
take her in his arms and tell her.

Before she knew it, she was pulling into the parking lot at JAG and her 
heart began to race with anticipation all over again.  She made her way 
into 
the building and onto the elevator.  As the doors opened at JAG ops, 
she 
headed first for her own office.  When she didn’t find anything unusual 
in 
her office, she checked Harm’s office.  Again, she found nothing and 
she was 
starting to get a little frustrated.  Finally, she plopped down in his 
chair 
and let out an exasperated “Where is it?”  She heard someone chuckling 
in 
the doorway and she looked up expecting to see Harm.  Instead, she 
found 
Admiral AJ Chegwidden standing in the doorway, wearing a grin from ear 
to 
ear.  “Looking for this, Colonel?” he asked, nodding at the large box 
he 
held in his hands.

“Actually, Harm…er…I mean Commander Rabb was supposed to leave 
something 
here for me.”

“That’s what this is, Colonel.  This is answer #3 and clue #4,” he 
replied 
with another big grin.

“You’re in on it too, Sir?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yes, I am, Colonel.  And, just for the record, I’d like to say that 
Commander Rabb has already discussed, with me, where he is going with 
this.  
He has my emphatic approval.”  With that, AJ set the box on the desk 
before 
leaving the office.  Mac was speechless.  She couldn’t believe that the 
Admiral had given his approval.  After all, he had been the one that 
said: 
“Don’t get too familiar.  You’re going to work together.”

After pondering the Admiral’s words for another moment, her attention 
shifted to the box on the desk.  She opened it carefully and scanned 
it’s 
contents.  She was surprised to find that all of his momentos from his 
career were in the box.  Both of his Distinguished Flying Crosses, his 
law 
degree, his diploma from Annapolis, and a dozen or so pictures from 
various 
events throughout his career where scattered across the bottom of the 
box.  
When she lifted the photos, she found another index card.

Answer #3

MY CAREER

Clue #4

We shared a wonderful moment beneath the mistletoe.
Return to the door, knock, and ask the person who answers
For the fourth answer and the final clue.

When Mac finished reading the card she couldn’t keep the tears from 
falling. 
  She now knew for sure what he was trying to tell her and she couldn’t 
wait 
to see him.  She practically flew down to her car and took off for Bud 
and 
Harriet’s.

*    *    *    *    *


1057 Eastern Time
Saturday
Bud and Harriet’s Apartment
Virginia

When she made it to the door of Bud and Harriet’s apartment, it jerked 
open 
before she could even knock.  A very excited Lieutenant Harriet Sims 
ran out 
and threw her arms around Mac.  “You’re finally here!” she practically 
screamed.

“Calm down, Harriet,” Mac tried using her best command voice.  It 
didn’t 
work.  Obviously Harm had been here and now Harriet had some idea of 
what 
was going on.  This made Mac a little concerned.  As much as she 
understood 
why he would talk to the Admiral before talking to her, she didn’t like 
the 
idea of him telling Bud and Harriet how he felt about her before 
telling 
her.

“What did Commander Rabb tell you two?” she asked suspiciously when 
they 
were finally seated on the couch.  Bud spoke right up when he caught 
the 
Colonel’s tone.

“He didn’t say anything, Ma’am.  He just gave us an envelope to give 
you.  I 
don’t think he wanted to say too much to us, but the look on his face 
gave 
it away.  He’s in love with you, Ma’am.”

She sighed a sigh of relief when she heard that Harm hadn’t said 
anything to 
Bud and Harriet.  Then the last part of what the young Lieutenant said 
hit 
her and she blushed bright red.

Bud immediately tried to apologize.  “I’m sorry, Ma’am.  I didn’t mean 
to…” 
he started only to be cut off by a wave of her hand.

“Don’t worry about it, Bud.  And call me Mac.  I’m not in uniform and 
neither are the two of you.”

Bud and Harriet both smiled in relief when they saw that Mac had calmed 
down 
a little.  “So, don’t keep me in suspense, you two!  Let’s have that 
envelope.”  Harriet retrieved the envelope from her purse and handed it 
to 
Mac, who opened it carefully, finding another card.  This one was a 
little 
bigger and it had a picture of the two of them, taken in Australia, 
attached 
to it.  It was cut in the shape of a heart.  Underneath the picture was 
another note.

Answer #4

MY HEART

Final Clue

This one is easy
Go to the place where you know you are always safe.
Go to the place where someone will always love you.
Come to me, Sarah.
I promise, I’ll never turn you away again.
1900 hours, tonight.

*    *    *    *    *

1854 Eastern Time
Saturday
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station

He’d been sitting by the window for the last two hours waiting for her 
to 
arrive.  He looked at his watch for the hundredth time and saw that it 
was 
almost time.  Instantly, his palms began to sweat and his heart began 
to 
race.  Then suddenly, his heart leapt from his chest into his throat.  
There, in the parking lot, was the love of his life.  ‘My word, she is 
beautiful,’ he thought when he saw her get out of her car.  She was 
dressed 
in a short black dress and her hair was pushed back behind her ears 
just the 
way he liked it.

As she disappeared into the lobby of the building, he stood and 
straightened 
his dress whites.  Quickly he walked around the apartment, making sure 
that 
everything was just right.  “Perfect,” he whispered as he took one last 
look 
around the apartment.  Just then, he heard three soft knocks on his 
door.  
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered as he turned to answer the door.

On the other side of the door, Mac was in about the same shape as Harm.  
She 
honestly couldn’t remember ever being this nervous in her whole life.  
She 
paused for a moment to gather herself before reaching up and knocking 
softly 
on his door.  Several moments passed with no answer and she began to 
wonder 
if he had heard her knock.  Just as she was about to knock again, the 
door 
swung open revealing her tall Navy Commander with dress whites and gold 
wings to boot.

When he opened the door and took a look at her up close, his jaw fell 
straight to the floor.  “You’re so beautiful,” he said with a soft 
smile, 
after recovering his senses.  “Please, come in.”

“Thank you.  You don’t look so bad yourself, Flyboy.”

“Would you care to dance, Colonel?” he said softly as he flipped on the 
stereo.

“I’d love to, Commander.”

He slowly closed the distance between the two.  When they met, she 
melted 
into his embrace as the soft strains of the piano floated thru the 
room.

She’s got a way about her
I don’t know what it is
But I know that I can’t live without her
She’s got a way of pleasin’
I don’t know what it is
But there doesn’t have to be a reason anyway

She’s got a smile that heals me
I don’t know what it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She’s got a way of talkin’
I don’t know what it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin’ anywhere

“I love you so much, Sarah,” he whispered in her ear as they continued 
to 
sway to the music.  She already had tears in her eyes when she looked 
up at 
him.

“I was beginning to think that you would never say that, Harm.  I love 
you 
too.”  She tucked her head tightly under his chin as the song carried 
them 
around the room as though they were on a cloud.

She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around

She’s got a smile that heals me
Oh I don’t know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She’s got a way about her
I don’t know what it is
But I know that I can’t live without her anyway

As the song faded, Harm led her over to the couch.  When they were 
seated, 
he reached over and cupped her chin with his strong hand.  He paused 
for 
just a moment as he gathered himself.

“I love you, Sarah.  I always have.  And to answer your question, I 
would 
give up everything to have you.  My plane, my wings, my career, and my 
heart…those things are just a small part of what I am willing to give 
up for 
you.  When we were in Australia, I really messed up with you.  But, you 
have 
to understand, at that time I wasn’t ready to let go of these things.  
I 
wasn’t ready to make you my number one priority.  I am now.”

As soon as the words were out, she leaned over and captured his lips in 
a 
passionate kiss.  “I know, Harm,” she said softly when they came up for 
air.

“You didn’t stay long enough to hear my answer to your other question,” 
he 
continued softly.  He was determined to get it all out so that they 
could 
move on with their lives.  “You asked me if I would give up Renee.  And 
the 
answer is yes.  I broke up with Renee the moment I got back to the 
states.  
You are the one true love of my life and I would give up every moment I 
ever 
spent with Renee or anyone else for just one moment with you.”  When he 
was 
done, they both had tears in their eyes.  After a few moments of simply 
holding one another, Harm pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“Sarah, now that I’ve answered your questions, I have a question for 
you.”

“What is it, Harm?” she replied as she took a handkerchief to wipe her 
eyes. 
  The handkerchief never made it to her eyes.  It fell from her hand in 
shock when Harm got up from the couch and dropped to one knee, at the 
same 
time removing a small box from his pocket.  He opened the box slowly 
revealing a beautiful diamond engagement ring.  Mac found herself on 
the 
verge of hyperventilating.  She had never expected this, especially not 
so 
soon.

“Sarah Mackenzie, I have never known anyone as amazing as you.  I, in 
no 
way, deserve you.  But, at the same time, I can’t bear the thought of 
another day without you.  Will you be my wife?”

She took a moment and looked deeply into his eyes.  What she saw there 
was a 
deep love mixed with hope.  She knew, in that moment, that she wanted 
to 
spend the rest of her life with him.

“Of course I will marry you, Flyboy,” she finally said, as a brilliant 
smile 
crept across her face.  He instantly swept her from her feet and spun 
her 
around in his arms.  When he came to a stop he kissed her passionately 
before setting her back on her feet.  Then she looked up at him and 
winked.

“Love you, Stickboy.”

“Love you too, Jarhead.”

*    *    *    *    *

The End

Feedback is never a requirement, but it makes me happy.  Hint, Hint.

Author’s note:  The song that Harm and Mac dance to is called She’s Got 
a 
Way by Billy Joel.  No copyright infringement is intended.