Title: "Come To Me" Author: Christine Farkas e-mail: fakur@gmx.de Rating: PG Classification: S,R,A Spoilers: Adrift II Authors notes: Harm/Mac This is my little take on what would have happened, if Renee wouldn't have been there...you all know where! English is not my first language so forgive me for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Feedback is highly appreciated – if you liked it. If you didn't, keep it to yourself. NORTH OF UNION STATION HARM’S PLACE "Come to me" "Why?" "So we can talk" "We already talked" "Don’t argue with me!" "I need a better reason!" "You know the reason..." "Mac?" "I...I'm here" "I'm waiting" Standing in front of his door, she replayed that conversation over and over in her mind. Was he trying to tell her, that there was a chance or was she just hearing, what she wanted to hear? Mac didn't know and it wasn't making her decision any easier. Still pondering whether or not she should knock on his door she leant on the wall beside it, sliding down in a sitting position slowly. She just stared at the opposite wall, not having the courage to knock but not willing to go either. It was getting chilly but it didn't register in her mind. Harm had laid down when she'd called from the airport. Hearing her crying had almost torn him apart and he'd wanted nothing more than to hold her and take it all away from her right then. Ever since he'd put the receiver back on the phone he had watched out for her. He saw her stepping out of her car and entering the building but heard no knock on his door. She must be outside, fighting with herself about whether she should come in or not. And as much as he wanted to just open the door and draw her in his arms, he knew she had to come herself. This had to be her decision. Then he heard it. The knock. Mac was standing outside and saw her fist raising to knock. She wasn't really in control of it, her hand seemed to have a life of it's own. Anyway, seconds later the door opened and Harm stood in front of her. "Come in" he said gently. "How are you?" she asked, eyeing him full of concern. She felt awkward to come here. Why did they allow it to get that far? They used to be better than that. "Maybe better than you right now" he answered seeing the pain in her red-rimmed eyes. Noticing her slight shiver he offered: "Do you want to get out of that uniform?" "Wouldn't you like that?" she teased him despite her emotional turmoil inside. Harm blushed slightly causing her to give a little laughter. "Well, I’'m sure I can find something for you to wear..." he trailed off. Harm couldn't look her in the eyes. He was afraid she would see his desire and get it wrong. He didn't want to scare her after all that had happened. They went over to the bedroom and Harm retrieved his smallest pair of sweat pants and a shirt from his closet, tossing it on the bed before he left her to get changed, heading for the kitchen to prepare some tea. When he turned around from the kitchen counter a few minutes later, he found her standing by his window and staring out into the rain. He hadn't heard her coming back and was a little startled at first. That changed to concern soon. He'd seen her like this before. Her arms were slung tightly around her chest and her inner fight was clearly visible to him. She needed to talk but, knowing Mac, he wouldn't get anywhere if he pushed. He leaned against the counter when she started pacing the room. She was tense and he gave her all the space she needed to work it off. He had to be patient and seeing the state she was in, that was not an easy task. After what seemed like an eternity she finally sank down on the couch. She dropped her hands into her lap and they immediately started shaking, prompting her to clasp them together before Harm could see it. But it was too late, he'd already noticed. Slowly he walked over to her, sitting down beside her, but still leaving some space between them. Her hands trembled violently now despite her effort to keep them from doing so. Seeing that, Harm knew that she was about to lose control. "Aw, Mac. Come here!" he whispered and reached out to pull her into his embrace. She was hesitant at first but soon allowed herself to relax against his shoulder and the tears started to flow again. Harm drew her even closer, holding her in a tight grip. He was stroking through her hair lightly. Then he started to tenderly caress her back, feeling her tense muscles loosen up with his gentle treatment. When his movements stilled his hand came to rest at the small of her back. After a few minutes she had stopped sobbing and lifted her head to look up at him. He wiped away the last remains of her tears and and cupped her cheek in his palm, not able to suppress a light flinch when his ribs protested against the movement. "You're hurting" she said, her voice hoarse. "So are you" Harm countered. "Wanna talk about it?" "What is there to say? He left. I'm fine." Her gaze shifted to the floor. "Mac..." he hooked a finger under her chin and turned her to face him. "...there's no way on earth that you are fine right now. Your fiance just broke up with you, because he can't get past what is between us." Mac looked as if he had just turned the knife in her wound. But he was right, unfortunately. "Yes, it hurts. I...I wanted it to work. I wanted this so badly..." she broke off drawing her gaze away from him, when the tears started to well up again. She willed them back. "Why did you want that so much, Mac? You didn't love him the way it is supposed to be" he asked softly. Mac jerked up glaring angrily at him. "How dare you!" she hissed and started to move away when he catched her wrist. "Mac, I'm sorry. I was out of line" he appologized. "Damn well you were, Commander!" She wriggled her hand free and went for the door. "Don't leave, Mac" Harm started to get up and follow her, when a shot off pain made him gasp and his hand went on his injured ribs. Hearing that, Mac turned back, her impression quickly changing from anger to concern. She rushed over to him and forced him back down. "Don't think I forgive you. I'm still leaving, but first you lie down" she ordered while pressing him back against the cushions. "Please, don't go, Mac. I'm sorry" he said searching for her eyes to let her see that he meant it. Mac stared at him for a long moment "Why would it hurt so much if I didn't love him?" she asked quietly. "Because your dream is just crashing around you. You just lost one chance for the family you wanted all along. And he left you. The only thing you need to understand is, that you are not alone, you'll never be" he answered softly, sitting back up and pulling her down beside him again. She tried to protest first, but didn't fight him that hard. "If you already know that, why did you ask why I wanted this so much?" Mac stared at his couch table not able to meet his gaze. "I know, but I want to hear it from you" Harm wondered if it was maybe too much to ask right now. "I can't. Not yet" she answered, passing him a pleading look to let it slip. He understood. It was too fresh, hurting too much right now. After a little while he continued. "Mac, you know what I was talking about on the phone, don't you?" "Yeah, I guess" Macs heart started beating up to her throat. She couldn't deal with that right now. Harm took her hands in his, looking down at them for a while and unconciously rubbing her knuckles before he raised his gaze back up to her eyes. "Well, I meant it. I'm waiting. But now wouldn't be right, you know that as much as I do. You're hurting. I'll be here, when ever you need me as a friend as long as you're healing. And when you're ready, come to me" It had taken him all his courage to go that far, but his recent near death experience and the talk with Skates had showed him where his priorities were. Mac couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "Harm...." she broke off to give way to a sob. He just looked at her lovingly. "...what did I do to deserve that? And what about Renee?" "I broke up with Renee." He'd talked to her right after he'd gotten home from the hospital. Her question, if he had been able to imagine them as a couple while his memory was gone had actually opened his eyes. Deep down he must have known all along, but with Mac wearing Brumbys ring there had been no hope for the life he'd always wanted. "As for the rest...Mac, you're worth waiting an eternity." he simply stated, remembering their desasterous ferry ride. "But I hope, it won't be that long" he added grinning, finally getting the ghost of a smile from her. "Harm, I...I have to work through this on my own" "Fine with me, as long as you remember that I'm always here for you. Day and night" "Thank you" she said wiping her last tears away and attempting to smile again this time with more luck. "I'm starving, Sailor. I hope you have something to eat for that Marine" Harm flashed her one of his flyboy grins "I'm glad to hear you didn't lose your appetite!" Then he got up again and walked over to the kitchen. The tea was cold by now and he started some new along with Pasta for dinner. They ate in companionable silence and when everything was finished and the plates rinsed, they settled in front of the tv to watch a movie. Halfway through it Mac fell asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. Smiling he turned the tv off and let her lie down carefully not to wake her up. He brought a blanket from the bedroom to cover her and after tugging her in, he gave her a small kiss on the forehead. Maybe it all would work out fine in the end, they just needed a bit more time. After 6 years he could wait a bit longer. When he drifted off to sleep in his bed, his last thoughts were of that beautiful Marine currently occupying his couch and hopefully soon his life. THE END