TITLE: "By Dawn's Early Light" AUTHORS: Anne R. and Pat Steiner SUMMARY: Memorial day 2003 and a crisis for AJ and Kendra, followed by an upheaval of another sort for Harm. This is the sixth chapter in the Dale March series. Previous chapters were: To Ask the Lord's Blessing Let Every Heart A Cup O'kindness Yet Rings and Promises Of Forever and Goodbye In this series, the events of Afghanistan have occurred but we will not deal with the Singer/Sergei/Lindsey/NCIS story line. CLASSIFICATION/RATING: J/S/R/A PG for language. SPOILERS: In any of our work, any JAG episode may be referred to. FEEDBACK: If you're so moved but never expected nor begged for. Addy is ssbpmn@aol.com. Please however, we request you respect the work, and the effort that goes into writing it. NOTE: All parts of this story and previous chapters, as well as much of our other works, are available at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AnniePatJAGstories The message archives are open to all registered Yahoo users-no subbing required. Please ignore any notice of adult content you may see-there is no R nor NC17 content there. Other archives containing our stories: http://thearchive.mine.nu:85/exlibris/ or http://www.netroenterprises.com/exlibrisjag or BTL- http://www.wtv-zone.com/trgarchive/btl/ http://destined.to/btlarchive - {BTL H/M Fanfiction archive.} ==================== Previously in the series: Thanksgiving, 2002, Harm and Mac are introduced to Seaman Dale March as part of a USO Home for the Holidays project. They soon learn he has a son, and a woman he loves, in his home state. After a harrowing Christmas experience to get them reunited, Harm and Mac realize their own love and Harm asks Mac to marry him on New Years Eve. On Valentines Day Dale and Allison are married, and Harm gives Mac his ring. Easter brings the Mackenzie-Rabb wedding and Mac's announcement of a baby on board. Dale and Allison ride out a marital storm and Dale ships out for the Eisenhower carrier in the Persian Gulf. ***************************** "By Dawn's Early Light" RABB APARTMENT Wed, 14 May 03 730AM "Uh hey gotta go. I've got a major distraction here. Take care of yourself and I'll call you in a couple days. Meanwhile you know you can call me if you want or need anything." There was a short pause and Mac added, "love you too," before hanging up. "Was that Allison?" Harm had come from the bathroom, drying his hair with the end of a towel that hung from the back of his neck and wearing nothing else. "No it was Sturgis," she replied, taking the time to appreciate the sight before her. Even pushing forty, the man still could make her knees knock at the sight of his well toned body. "I hope you gave him my love too," he grinned. "You see anything you like?" "Uh only everything, and nothing I have time for," she groused, knowing without looking at the clock they needed to move. "I told you to come into the shower with me." "Oh right that would have really speeded things up," she groaned, pushing past him and letting her fingers linger just for a second. "Allison OK?" he yelled after her just as the door closed. "Yeah. She was just having a mom's club meeting last night when I called and she and a friend went for coffee after so she thought it would be too late to call back but she knew we'd be concerned. Said she figured we were busy." "We weren't were we?" "Think again Robo-Machine," she laughed sticking her head out of the door. "Oh yeah I guess we were," he grinned and almost blushed. "So did she say they caught the guy?" "No they have not. They're baffled," Mac sighed and closed the door, stepping in to the shower still scowling. For the past six weeks in the March's area of Newport News there had been a series of crimes, growing more serious with each one. It started with a few nighttime burglaries of apartments and homes where no one was home and had escalated ever since, the robbers growing more bold, or desperate. The police had theorized it was for drug money as only small items that were easily unloaded were being taken in addition to any cash. "Last one was two days ago in the apartments three blocks over," Mac yelled as soon as she stepped out of the shower. "They demanded the man drive them to an ATM and he refused. They hit him with a baseball bat and if his wife hadn't come up from the laundry room and opened the door and screamed. . .well who knows." Harm opened the door and his train of thought was broken momentarily. "OK I need to have this scene in mind later when I'm begging you for the Mills plea. Anyway, you offered to Allison to come here." "For the twentieth time of course I did, but she's hanging tight to her job. I don't know what the answer is. She says she's not scared. Harm she bought a gun over the weekend and learned to use it." "Oh yeah? Good for her," he said vehemently. "Good for her." "Well I hope she knows when to fight and when to run," Mac sighed. "And speaking of running, why don't you stop ogling me and hand me my robe. We've got to go." "I was having more fun ogling you" he smiled. "But it's probably not a good idea to make the Admiral unhappy right now." "Righto. Unless you want to be doing your next few years in Iceland." "I really wish he and Kendra had worked out" Harm sighed. "There's no reason for them to be apart like this. He loves her and she loves him. " "I agree. You want to tell him that?" "No. I'd like to stay on this planet with my wife for just a little bit longer. And right now he'd not too receptive to any opinions on what he and Kendra should be doing." "Which is sad" Mac nodded. "Because they really do belong together. But we'll discuss that later. Let's move it sailor." Tiner nearly pounced on them as they stepped off the elevator and both knew it wasn't going to be good. "Sir, ma'am, the Admiral wanted to see you right away when you got in" he said quickly. "How's his mood?" Mac dared to ask. "Not good ma'am." As he spoke they could hear AJ bellowing for his yeoman and Tiner let out a long sigh before hurrying off. "I think I need a vacation" Harm sighed. "You arrange it and I am so there" she smiled. "Can we do the Bahamas again?" He smiled at the thought of their honeymoon on Grand Bahama island. It had been six sun filled days of sandy beaches and clear blue water with the woman he loved. Never before had he felt so relaxed as he had then. "Earth to Harm" she laughed. "Come back to me Sailor." "Sorry I was in the Bahamas again" he sighed. "But I'll have to save that memory for later. We'd better go." She nodded and they hurried to AJ's office where Tiner was making a hasty retreat. "Good luck" he whispered as they walked in. "Reporting as ordered sir" Mac said as she and Harm stood at AJ's desk. "Have a seat" AJ said with a long sigh. "I've decided to take some time off and I wanted to make sure you two could handle running things around here while I'm gone." "Vacation?" Harm asked. "Something like that. I just need to get away from things for a while. And before you ask, no not with Kendra. As I understand it, she's leaving on the USO tour in a few days anyway." "Sir she's only doing that because you pushed her away" Mac offered quietly. "Colonel something's just aren't meant to be in this world. You and Harm were lucky. Despite all your trials and tribulations someone upstairs wanted you two together. In this case, everything is against Kendra and I being together." "If I can say so sir, only because you're letting it" Mac countered. "Maybe but it's done. She's going on her tour and likely I'll never see Kendra Martin again. And that's just the way it's going to be. Now back to what's important which is running this office. Can I trust you two to keep things in order while I'm gone?" "Of course sir. How long do you plan on being gone?" Harm asked. "A week. Maybe two. I just need some time away. In fact Colonel, I was going to ask you about Red Rock Mesa. There's some good camping and aloneness out there isn't there?" "You really want to get away don't you?" she asked and he nodded. "Well Red Rock is a good place then" she continued. "I can give you a map of the best spots." "Perfect. I'm looking to leave Saturday so if you could get that to me right away I'd appreciate it." "Yes sir. I'll get it for you." "I'll be in touch while I'm gone of course. But I hope that you can handle most stuff without my help." "Of course sir" Mac nodded. "Good. That's all." "Okay this is crazy" Mac sighed as she and Harm walked out a few minutes later. "He's running away isn't he?" "He thinks going away will help him forget her. But I don't think it's going to work that easily. Not if you really love the other person. And I think that's what he's so afraid of he. He really and truly loves her and he hasn't been that attached to someone in years." "Well there was Laura," Mac reminded him and Harm shook his head, not wanting to think about a beloved woman being killed for vengeance. "The whole thing is asinine. He does love her." Harm's words were so strong that Mac looked at him in surprise. "Since when are you so much into that sort of thing," Mac giggled. "Only since I talked the most beautiful Marine in the Corps into marrying me, fool that she was," he grinned, and dropped his hand to her belly. "And now she's carrying my child." "Yes she is," she smiled. "And she needs to get that information for the Admiral and then we have court. By the way, you and Sturgis are dead meat there." "Not on your best day," he retorted and both nodded, reminding themselves and they were being allowed by the grace of AJ to remain at JAG and to continue their working relationship unchanged. Unchanged including a 'no mercy' policy when they opposed in court. She obtained what information she thought would best help AJ to make a decision about the Red Rock area and left the folder with Tiner. A long three hours in court followed, leaving her exhausted and hungry when they emerged. "You OK?" Harm waited until they were in the corridor before catching her arm. "You're looking a little peaked there." "You and Sturgis tag teamed me and wore me out," she laughed. "I'm fine really. Just in need of food and I also need to remember to have juice in there for the sugar high. You want to take a pretty Marine to lunch?" "He'd love to but he should probably take his wife," Sturgis teased, catching up to them at the last. "Nice job in there counselor." "Thanks," Harm grinned. "I was talking to Mac," Sturgis laughed again. "I could be up for Chinese." "Yeah well the baby isn't," Mac sighed. "Something milder please." They walked back into the bullpen only to be assailed by Tiner. "Ma'am, Ms. Martin is in your office." "Kendra? Oh that's nice thank you," Mac smiled looked over to wave to her in a 'be right there' gesture. "And I see you have lunch plans Petty Officer." "Yes ma'am." Tiner almost blushed as he nodded toward his desk where Petty Officer Melissa Barnes awaited him. "She's on thirty days leave ahead of deployment and we're. . .you know." "Yes I do." Mac turned to Harm, "Flyboy let me go talk to Kendra and you and Sturgis go ahead and get that Chinese." "No. I don't want to leave you," Harm protested. "Harm, she's getting ready to leave town and she probably wants to talk. I can give her an hour. And before you ask, yes I'm fine." She gave his hand a quick squeeze and walked toward her office. Instinctively Harm started to follow and Sturgis quickly grabbed his arm. "Pull back a bit baby," he grinned. "She's OK, and she'll let you know if she's not." "Well she wouldn't, but yeah I know," he sighed. "OK let's get that Chinese and plan our kill strategy." Meanwhile Mac walked into her office, finding Kendra in deep reading. "Hi. I'm glad to see you," she smiled. "Interesting stuff?" "Research on the area we're going to. I haven't done one of these tours in ages." "So what do you do on them?" "Anything that's needed. From schlepping the luggage to arranging meals and lodging to holding the hand of a homesick performer. I'm looking forward to getting away." "So is the Admiral." "He's going somewhere too?" "Arizona for a week, maybe two. Says he needs to get away." She bit back anything further on that subject for the moment. "Well so do I," she returned. "And are you up for lunch? You've got time." "Me and the baby are starving and I will make time," she declared. "Thanks Mac" Kendra said softly. "I appreciate it. Harm won't mind too much will he?" "He'll deal with it" Mac smiled. "Come on. Just be warned I'm eating for two now." Kendra laughed. "I think I can afford it. And this is my treat." They ended up at a nearby deli and once they'd ordered their sandwiches they found a quiet table. "So AJ is really going away?" she asked quietly. "Kendra this is eating him up inside. He loves you and he wants to be with you but for God knows what reason he's too afraid to let that happen." "It's eating me up too. That's why I'm going on the tour. I have to get away for a while Mac or I'll go crazy. I figure if I can lose myself in my work, maybe I'll forget about the pain." "You love him so much don't you?" Mac said gently. "I never met anyone like AJ" Kendra whispered. "From the moment we met, it was like we'd known each other forever. And we got so close and then he suddenly pushed me away." "I'm sorry. I wish there were more we could do. But the fact that he's going away just proves that he's not happy with this either. And maybe after he's had some time he'll realize what a mistake this was." "I can hope that will happen. In the meantime, there's not much else I can do." "No there's not. And you're doing the right thing by giving him some space. Though I'm not sure going half way across the globe is the right idea either." "I've been wanting to go on a tour and I've been putting it off. Now is the perfect time." "You're going to Afghanistan I presume?" Mac asked. "There and anywhere else in the region we're allowed. I think we've got a few stops on some of the carriers out there. It should be interesting and I always feel better when I see how much the guys appreciate that someone back home cares about them." "I'm sure it does" Mac nodded. "This is your first time overseas?" "First time to a real war area," Kendra said with a small smile. "I've gone overseas before but just to our bases. Never out to where the real action is." "Are you scared?" "No" Kendra shook her head. "Not at all. I'm looking forward to the challenge." "Your father would be proud of you" Mac smiled. "I hope so." "You'll keep in touch right?" Mac asked. "Of course" Kendra smiled. "I want to hear all about how this baby is coming along." "You want to have kids one day don't you?" "I'd hoped to" she said sadly. "But I'm not sure that's ever going to happen. Even if by some miracle AJ and I got back together I doubt he'd consider having kids. He has such a hang up with our ages as it is." "Don't give up hope yet," Mac said softly. "He may come to his senses yet. Of course by then some young sailor may have swept you off your feet." "Won't happen" Kendra sighed. "Not when I'm hopelessly in love with AJ." They chatted about the others while they ate and finally Kendra looked at her watch and sighed. "I've taken up enough of your time. I'd better get you back." "All right. But I want you to come up and say goodbye to everyone. I know Harriet especially will want to say goodbye." Kendra finally agreed and a short time later they stepped off the elevator, Harm meeting Mac as she made her way across the bullpen. "Everything okay?" he asked. "Just fine Dad" she laughed. "We had a wonderful lunch and now our baby and I are stuffed." "Sorry Harm" Kendra smiled. "I didn't mean to keep her so long." "No that's okay," he said sheepishly. "So I hear you're leaving us for a while. You're heading overseas?" "Afghanistan and the Gulf" she nodded. "I'll be gone about a month." "Well take care of yourself," Harm said seriously. "And keep in touch." Before she could answer AJ walked out from his office, his eyes meeting hers a moment later. "I will" she managed finally. "Do you know where Harriet is? I want to say goodbye before I leave." "In the library I think" Harm answered. "I'll find her there. Thanks." AJ watched her walk away and with a long sigh returned to his office, Harm following him. "Commander I don't want to discuss Ms. Martin thank you," AJ snapped. "Yes sir. Uh. . .no sir. You asked me to come in with the information on the Martinsburg frigate sir." "Oh. Yes I did. You have it? Harm produced a CD-ROM case from his pocket. "Yes sir. Lt. Roberts did a good job. I think the case is eminently winnable." "Good. And about my snapping at you earlier. . ." "No need to be concerned sir. I understand. Relationships aren't easy. Ever." "No and you're certainly the poster boy for that fact," AJ groaned. "How long did it take you and Mac to get it right." "Way too long. That's exactly right sir. You love her and she loves you and you don't need anything more than that." "Commander how is it we happen to be discussing something I just said we weren't going to discuss?" AJ glowered. "Because sir I must be out of my mind. If there's nothing else, I should see about getting to court." "Out. Now." Mac and Harriet walked Kendra to her car and with promises to keep in touch, she drove off. =============== FOLLOWING MORNING "Good morning sir." Mac moved aside to allow AJ access to the Mister Coffee machine. "Did you find anything helpful in the information I got for you on Red Rock?" "Absolutely. Thank you. And then I got online and found an outfitter who's going to fix me up with camping gear. I'm really looking forward to it." "Sir do you really think it's a good idea to go out there alone," Harm spoke up, waiting for his bagel to pop up in the toaster. "I think it's an excellent idea," he replied sharply. "Anything further on the subject Commander?" "No sir, but please at least leave word where you're going. Shutting up now." "You have my cell phone number. Leave a voice mail if something comes up. I'll check it periodically." "Yes sir. At least you'll have that with you." "Is there any particular reason why you think I can't handle myself alone Commander?" AJ asked. "No sir. It's just that one never knows what might happen." "No they don't. But I'm sure I'll manage." He walked out and Mac let out a long sigh. "This is so wrong. She's running off to a war zone and he's running to the desert. They should be going somewhere together and working this out." "I don't think that's going to happen" Harm said as he grabbed his bagel. "Face it Mac, he's just going to let her go." "He's making a big mistake. Really big mistake." "You want to tell him that? He wasn't real receptive to my ideas. And I don't think he's going to be to yours either." "I know. I guess we can't fix everything." They headed back to their offices and it was a few hours later that Mac walked into Harm's office. "Harm I just got a call from Allison. Apparently there was another robbery in the area last night. She terrified and she was wondering if we'd come down for the weekend and stay with her. Instead of her packing up Chris and coming up here." "What happened this time?" Harm frowned. "A young woman was carjacked at a nearby grocery store. She was smart enough to give up so she got away unhurt. But Allison is terrified." "Did we have any plans this weekend?" he asked. "None except minding JAG. Which I guess we can do from there. If they need something, one of us can be up here in a few hours." "So I can call her back and tell her we'll be down?" "Yeah. Maybe we'll get her out of the house and down to the beach for a bit. That should help." ' "You'll hang out with two preggie women on the beach?" Mac smiled. "Neither of you is even close to looking pregnant" Harm scoffed. "You're both way too thin. Allison especially. It's probably a good idea for us to go down and check on her. You know Dale will be calling wanting to know how she's really doing." "I know. I think he knows she's hiding something from him but he has no idea what." "And he's going to be one shocked sailor when he steps off the ship and sees her pregnant like that." "Well at least he'll be home in time for the birth. And like Allison said, this way he doesn't have to worry about her while he's out there." "No we're doing all the worrying" Harm sighed. "And to think we're not even parents yet. It's going to be worse when it's our own." "I know" she smiled. "No one said it would be easy that's for sure. But for the record, I think we'll be good parents." "Me too" he smiled. "A little overprotective maybe but still good." "I'll call Allison and let her know we're coming. This way at least she'll get some sleep this weekend." ********************* I-95 South 6:00 PM EST "I forget about this mess" Harm sighed as they came to a screeching halt once again on the highway. "I hope you didn't tell Allison we'd be there for dinner." "She told me the traffic would probably be bad" Mac smiled. "So no, she's not expecting us for dinner." "Good. Cause it will be time for breakfast when we get there." "Chill sailor. We'll get there before then." They slowly crawled down I-95, finally getting a break from the traffic once they'd hit Fredericksburg. It wasn't until they hit the Hampton Roads area that the traffic began to crawl again and Harm let out a long sigh when they finally reached Allison's exit. "I was getting worried about you guys" Allison smiled as she let them in a short time later. "Was traffic awful?" "The usual Friday night horror" Mac sighed. "But we're here. And of course starving." "There's a great Pizza Hut nearby" Allison replied. "You just want me to order you something?" "Only if you're ordering something for yourself as well" Harm frowned. "Is it my imagination or are you getting thinner?" "Harm I'm pregnant, how can I be getting thinner," she demanded. "Don't answer a question with a question," He growled and turned to Mac. "Can you direct the witness to answer please." "Do I look like Admiral Morris," she laughed. "Allison, you really do look thinner than the last time we saw you. I mean look at me--despite Harm's contention to the contrary, we're about the same amount of time along and I'm already having to suck it in to button my uniform skirt. Of course that may have to do with my new addiction to amaretto cheesecake but never mind that. Are you eating OK?" "No not really," she admitted under the intense gaze of her two best friends. "I mean I eat. Most of the time. But it doesn't stay with me half the time when I do. And then there's times when I put something in my mouth and it's like it turns to straw. No matter how I try, I can't swallow it. My throat closes over and I have to get rid of it." "Sounds like stress," Harm offered. "Thank you Doctor Rabb," Mac glared. "Allison sweetie have you talked to your doctor?" "Talked? That's not in the schedule over at the clinic. Not this early. Those military doctors run us who are barely second trimester through that place like cattle heading for the slaughter. Weight, a quick belly measurement, blood drawn, and then finally she says any questions or concerns." "And?" "And I say I'm tired all the time and food doesn't sit well with me and she goes--honey you're pregnant. All to be expected." "Your tax dollars at work," Harm groaned. "Yeah. So I'm trying to take my vitamins and iron and rest, but honestly Harm, Mac--I get so wound up over everything. Chris's health for starters. He's still having a lot of ear infections and they're talking about how he needs ear tubes. Then there's the whole thing about the crime wave in my area so I'm sleeping with one ear open and fretting off the food I do keep down. It doesn't help that every time I turn on the TV there's something about tension in that part of the world where Dale is. I mean what if someone decides to take a speedboat and do a suicide bombing against the fleet?" "Well that I can help you with," Harm told her. "Security for all the Battle Group is at the most it's ever been. Someone comes near the area in a plane or a boat and they're going to be blown out of the water before they get near enough to do any damage." "Really? I mean Dale said the same thing, and he's pulling his share of CQ he calls it but that scares me too. Oh let's face it, I'm a hormonal basket case that should be committed." "Harm tell her about me throwing the bar of soap at you last weekend," Mac grinned, "speaking of hormonal basket cases." "Were you aiming for him?" Allison giggled. "No, and it's a good thing I wasn't because he'd be black and blue," she laughed. "I was frustrated over a case and went to shower and he made a smart ass remark and I zinged a bar of Zest at him." "OK shall we get to the pizza," Harm growled. "You know I might have been rendered incapable of performing if that soap had been a little more centered." "What do you want?" Allison asked as she reached for the phone. "Veggie him. Meat Lovers me" Mac smiled. "And trust me I can eat one of those myself tonight. I am starving." "I wish I had that appetite" Allison sighed before placing the order. Less than an hour later the pizza arrived and Harm frowned as he watched Allison pick at her piece of pizza. She barely managed a few bites and he shot Mac a worried glance. "Allison tell me you're eating more than that?" Mac said gently. "That's all for me. Honestly I can't eat like I used to. Please dont fuss at me." "We won't sweetie. We're just worried about you. And we promised Dale we'd take care of you." "You are" she sighed. "I'm fine. Just stressed." "Tomorrow is a de-stressing day then" Harm spoke up. "We're going to the beach and you're going to relax and enjoy yourself for a change." "I'll try. Honest I will. And thank you for caring. You two are great. I'm not sure what I'd do without you around." Harm cleaned up the dinner while Mac played with Chris, giving Allison a few moments of quiet to herself. Afterwards they all watched a movie on cable while Chris contentedly fell asleep in Harm's arms. "He misses Daddy I think" Allison said softly as she looked over at Harm. "But you're doing a great job with him tonight. Thanks." "I'll put him to bed" Harm offered. "I need some more practice anyway." "You want some help sailor?" Mac yawned. "Yeah and then I think it's time to call it a night for you." "You don't have to tell me twice" she sighed. "Allison you going to bed soon I hope." "Right behind you. And thanks again for everything." "Sleep well" Mac said softly. "We'll see you in the morning." Once Chris was tucked into bed in the crib in Allison's room, they headed to the second bedroom. "Harm I'm really worried about her" Mac said softly as she climbed into bed. "This is a lot harder on her than I thought it would be." "I know. But that's why we came down this weekend. And I guess we'll just have to make more trips to make sure she's doing okay. We promised Dale we'd look after her and we will." "You're a good man Mr. Rabb" Mac said sleepily as she snuggled against him. "No wonder I love you so much." "Love you too" he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep." Four hours later the quiet night was shattered with the sound of sirens and flashing lights that pulled up in the building next to Allison's. "What's going on?" Mac murmured, the lights and noise waking her. "Not sure" Harm mumbled as he reached for his sweats. "I'll go see what's going on." "Harm Mac wake up" Allison whispered as she knocked on their door. "Allison it's okay," Harm said as he hurried to the door and opened it up. "We're awake." "Something's going on in the building next door," she said anxiously as she wrapped her arms around herself. "There's several police cars and an ambulance out there." "It's okay," Harm said gently. "I'm going to go out and see what happened." He quickly dressed and headed outside and made his way over to the crowd. He could see a young woman sobbing in a police officer's arms and he looked around to see what might have happened. "What happened?" Harm asked a young man dressed in Navy dungarees. "Someone said she found her room mate dead" the young man replied. "I guess the place had been broken into." A few moments later the coroner's vehicle pulled up and Harm let out a long sigh. He headed back to Allison's building and back up to her apartment. "What happened?" she asked as he walked in the door. "Someone found their room mate dead" he said quietly and Allison's hand flew to her mouth as she tried to stifle a scream. At once he reached for her and pulled her into his arms as she let out a long sob. "Shh" he soothed. "It's okay. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe right now." "Allison it's OK," Mac added, trying to share the embrace. "Honey no one is going to hurt you or the baby. And this case may have nothing to do with the whole other crime wave. It could be someone this girl knew. It happens. Living in DC I can tell you it happens every day." "You can't promise me and Christopher are going to be safe," she whispered. "Even the gun I bought and learned how to use can't promise me that." Harm led them both to the sofa and wrapped a nearby blanket around them the best he could, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table. "Allison do you want to move? We can help you do that. We can even help a bit with the rent if that would help. I'm just not sure it's the answer." "I don't know if that would help," she wailed softly. "This is considered to be a safe neighborhood. I know we checked before we took the place. We looked at places that were cheaper and didn't like the crime statistics. My head tells me as soon as they catch the guy it's going to be fine; but my heart is scared." "And you know the offer to come stay with us is open," Mac reminded her. "You guys already do too much and if I give up this job it's not like another one is going to fall into my lap. Thanks but we'll stick it out. I think. Meantime the gun is going into my night stand. Loaded." "Could you use it if you had to?" Harm asked gently. "Yeah I could. I've handled a twenty-two before as a kid but never a handgun. It wasn't hard to learn. And someone threatening my baby or me--oh yeah I could use it. In a heartbeat." "OK well the excitement is over for tonight," Harm pronounced, walking to the window to make a quick check just to be sure. "Harm what if the guy didn't ever leave the area?" Allison whispered, eyeing the door. "Oh that's not likely," he replied confidently. "Soon as he did it you know he was gone. She could have been dead a good while before her room mate found her." "Somehow that's not real comforting," Allison sighed. "I guess nothing else to do but go back to bed. Excuse me while I double check the door even though I saw you throw the dead bolt when you came in." They watched as she did that and walk to her bedroom door. "And this is why I'm stressed," she sighed before slipping through the door. "Maybe having a good time tomorrow will take her mind off some of this," Mac murmured, accepting Harm's hand to help her rise. "I honestly don't know what the answer is. This is just a bad time for Dale to be gone." "Yeah but she knew being married to a Sailor was no day at the park," he smiled. "Boy that's for sure," Mac muttered with such a serious tone that Harm spun her to him before he realized she was laughing. "Come here you. I'll show you what being married to a Sailor is really like." "And as nice as that sounds, I'm sure Allison would hear every heavy breath," she smiled and wrapped her arms around his chest. "You can hold that thought until we get home right?" "Well maybe till the rest stop on I95," he laughed. "You know pregnant women turn me on." "No I didn't know that. Just how many have you known in your life anyway?" He took her back to bed and once they were settled she curled tightly into his chest. "I don't know what I'd do if you had to go," she whispered. "Would this be a good time to mention my nightmare that you were somehow called to a squadron. I couldn't get back to sleep last night for a long time when I woke up. You might have noticed the death grip I had on you in fact." "And here I thought it was because you wanted to do it," he smiled in the darkness and then kissed her firmly. "Honey, there is nothing on this planet that would get me to leave you and this baby like that. Not even the orders from the Commander in Chief." "Harm you're not serious" Mac gasped. "You wouldn't disobey a direct order like that." "I'd resign my commission" "What if they wouldn't let you? You know they're holding everyone in now. People who signed up and thought they'd give five years to their country aren't going anywhere now. And someone with your skills in a cockpit" Her voice trailed off and he pulled her closer to him. "Honey you're getting all wound up for nothing" he said gently. "That may never happen. And if for some reason something like that came up, well then I'd do what I had to do and then come back to my wife and child. But I wouldn't worry too much. There's a lot of guys a lot younger and better than me out there." "Not likely" she sighed. "But I'll hold on to that hope." "Try not to worry too much. It's bad enough Allison is all stressed. You don't need to be that way too. Everything is going to be fine. You'll see. Now let's try and get some sleep." With his arms around her, she finally drifted back to sleep. It took him longer as her words ran through this mind. He would go if he had to. That was his duty. And at the same time, he was never more thankful that Mac was pregnant. At least this way, he knew she wouldn't have to go. ***************** It was a weary group that finally stumbled to the kitchen the next morning, Chris the only one who was wide-awake and fussing to be fed. "You doing better?" Mac asked Allison as she helped her get Chris's food together. "Honestly no. I don't think I slept at all last night. But I'll manage somehow. I'm just glad you and Harm were here last night. Otherwise I probably would have gone into total meltdown." "If there's anything we can do to help," Harm said gently. "Please let us know. You know we have plenty of contacts in DC and we could probably get you a job up there. You could live with us for a few months. Heck think of all the money you could save up by the time Dale comes back." "It's tempting" Allison sighed. "But I'm married to Dale now and there's going to be times when he's deployed like this. I just have to get used to being on my own with Chris down here. I was fine back in Illinois but that's because I knew everyone there. Here I don't know a soul besides my friends at work." "Well the offer will stand" Mac added. "And remember this is your first time going through this. Next time it won't be so bad I'm sure." "Next time I won't be pregnant. Well at least I hope not. And I'm sorry for dumping all this on you guys." "No problem" Harm smiled. "Dump away. In the meantime, are we still heading to the beach? I think a day in the sun is exactly what both of you need." "It might take my mind off things," Allison admitted. "I'm still game I guess." "Good. Breakfast and then we'll head off." Two hours later they packed up Harm's SUV with beach chairs, a cooler full of food and plenty of beach towels and headed towards the Virginia Beach oceanfront. Already it was beginning to fill up when they arrived forty-five minutes later and Harm quickly located the parking lot next to the boardwalk and managed to snag one of the last spots available. He carried the load of stuff towards the water and they finally settled on an area near the water so Chris could play. "Mind if I take this little guy off your hands?" Harm asked once they were settled. "Go ahead" Allison smiled. "Just be careful with him. He's never been in the ocean before. I'm not sure if he's going to like it or not." "I'll take good care of him" Harm promised before wading out to the water with Chris. "He's so good with kids" Allison said softly as she and Mac watched Harm play with Chris. "You are so lucky. He's going to be a great father." "Yeah he is" Mac smiled. "And I'm sure when Dale is back he's going to be a great father too. To both of his children." "I know he will be. Once he gets over the shock. And by that time he'll probably be getting shipped off somewhere else. And here I am whining again." "You're not the first woman to miss her husband when he got deployed. And you know it might help to get involved with a support group of other wives." "Dale mentioned that last time we talked" Allison sighed. "He said there's probably women who've been through this several times that could help me through the rough spots like this." "I think you should find out how to get in contact with them then," Mac said gently. "Unless you just want to come and stay with us. Because you're making yourself crazy down here alone." "I know. And I know I can always come to you guys but this is what our life is going to be like for the next five years. I have to get used to it." "Or longer" Mac murmured as she watched Harm. "I haven't even allowed myself to think about that" Allison sighed. "But I guess there's the chance Dale will want to make a career of this. In which case I really need to get my act together if this is the way it's going to be for the next twenty years." "He could do a lot worse," Mac nodded, smiling as Harm tossed Christopher into the air and then dangled his feet into the waves. "The Navy has been good to Harm and the Marines to me. My life was on a fast track to hell before I joined. And of course Harm grew up with the obsession. He knew from the time before his dad was taken that he wanted to fly. And he's very good at it." "And whenever he does it, it scares you witless," she smiled. "Oh yeah. When we first met I didn't get it a lot of thought. He flew several times in the course of our investigations and I was pretty OK with it and then of course he had the punch-out and the dunking in the ocean and ever since then, well I cringe at the thought." "Being married to him and pregnant with his baby makes a big difference." "Yeah. Getting back to Dale's deployment, you know the time is already passing pretty fast. Are you marking it off?" "How'd you know?" she giggled. "I have a calender with his picture on top, and each night when Chris finally gives it up, just before I collapse in tears, I mark off the day. It helps." "You are exaggerating about the tears I hope." "Well only in that it's not every night. And I do have the Mom's group that I've been going to, but I am going to look into something that's for women who's husbands are deployed. The one I go to us more women escaping home. We take the kids to one place where two moms mind them while the rest of us do something. It's pretty nice. But I think I'd have more in common with the wives of the deployed guys. Do you know that I'm not even the youngest one. I didn't know Navy guys married so young." "Yeah well mine being the exception," Mac laughed. "Except with officers they're so wrapped in education at first. Come on, let's go splash the future Dad out there." "He's going to make a great father." "Yeah he is. He doesn't say much about it because it's so far off, but he rubs my belly sometimes and gets this real peculiar look on his face, like he's imagining his baby." "He should have a boy you know." "Well the request is in but I'm afraid that's not up to me." ==================== ALLISON'S APARTMENT That Evening "Mac sit," Harm ordered when she passed through the living room for what he swore was the thirtieth time. "You ready for me?" she laughed and he opened his arms for her as he picked up the remote. She settled into his arms, tired from the long day. "You're a news junkie," she murmured as he turned to ZNN. "I just like the woman who does it at night," he smiled and kissed her forehead, helping her to settle against him. The anchorwoman had passed the main stories and by the time the headlines came around again Mac was all but asleep, her head snuggled to his shoulder. "And in the top news story, shots were fired at a USO show in Kuwait City at Camp Doha. The initial shots came from the roof of a nearby building. Marine guards fired back. Before the shooting stopped, two assailants and two Marines were wounded as was a member of the USO contingent. The word we are being given is that the injured USO member is not a performer but on the coordination staff. Ms. Kendra Martin was sitting at the side of the stage when the first shots rang out." "Oh--My--God." Harm sat up straight, bringing Mac up with him. "Wha'sa matter?" "SSShhh. . ." He gestured to the TV. "It's Kendra." "Ms. Martin was medivack'd to the medical facility at the installation with no further word on her condition." "Oh my God" Mac gasped. "It can't be. It can't be Kendra." "I'm sure there's not another Kendra Martin in charge of the USO group" Harm said soberly. "What's going on?" Allison demanded as she ran into the living room. "Did something happen?" "It's Kendra" Harm said quietly. "According to the news someone fired on the USO group. Kendra was one of the injured." "NO" Allison gasped. "Did they say how bad?" "Just that she was medivac'd" Harm sighed. "Which means it's not good." "Harm we need to get in touch with the Admiral" Mac said quietly. "He needs to know about this. I'm sure where he is he hasn't heard about this and he'll want to know." "Are they still together?" Allison asked. "No. That's why Kendra took the job as the coordinator for this tour. She wanted some time away because the Admiral had said he wanted some space between them. It's all wrong and they belong together and now this has happened." "You have the Admiral's number right?" Harm asked. "I'll call him now and tell him." Mac grabbed her purse and a moment later handed him the cell phone number. "Good luck" she sighed. "This isn't going to be easy to tell him." Harm nodded and took his cell phone outside to the balcony and dialed AJ's cell phone number. He prayed he would answer, knowing there was no way he could leave a message like this. "It better be important Rabb" AJ said when he answered. "Ah yes sir it is" Harm stammered. "Very important. It's about Kendra sir." "Commander, my personal life is none of your business" AJ snapped. "Sir, she's been hurt in Kuwait. Someone fired shots at the USO group and Kendra was hit. They didn't give her condition but they said she was being medivac'd to the nearest facility that could handle her." There was silence on the line and for a moment Harm thought they'd been disconnected. "Sir, are you still there?" "When did this happen?" AJ managed finally. "It was just a breaking news story on ZNN sir. That's all the information they gave." "God why did she have to go there?" AJ moaned. "She knew it wasn't safe. I warned her but she didn't listen." "Sir is there anything I can do?" Harm asked. "Find me a flight to DC tonight. I'm coming back. In the meantime, if you hear any other news, contact me immediately." "I will sir. And I'll call you back as soon as I have a flight for you. I assume you'll be on your way to the airport?" "Packing as we speak" AJ said before hanging up. "How did he take it?" Mac asked as Harm walked back into the apartment. "He wants me to book him a flight home tonight. That at least tells me he still cares." "You know damn well he cares" Mac sighed. "He loves her. And they should be together." "I wish there was someway we could get more information. He said to call him back if they say anything else. In the meantime, I need to get him a flight." "I'll do that" Mac offered. "As long as I can have your cell phone. Allison's on with Dale right now. I just got to say hi to him but he sounds like he's doing okay." "He must have got the phone cards we sent. You know I wonder if anyone on the Ike would be able to get us any more information about Kendra." "I could try Commander Cavanaugh if you'd like. He might be able to get us something more than the news has." "Not that I want you calling Dougie but it might not be a bad idea" Harm sighed. "The more information we have the better." "I'll make the flight arrangements and then see if I can get Doug on the phone. I just hope things aren't as bad as they sounded on the news. God Harm what if she doesn't make it?" She bit her lip to keep back the tears and at once Harm pulled her into his arms. "Don't even think it," he said softly. "We just have to hope for the best." He was still holding her when Allison emerged from her bedroom, her eyes red from crying. "Everything okay?" Mac asked. "Yeah I'm fine" Allison sniffled. "Sometimes I think it's easier not talking to Dale. I miss him so much that when we do I start crying and he feels bad and it's all just horrible. And now we don't know if Kendra's okay or what happened to her." "Well we're going to find that out pretty quick," Harm assured her. "The Admiral will get on the horn to whoever and I guarantee you he's not in the habit of being told none of your business." The baby began to make noise and Mac rose to go. "Harm?" "You go. I'll make the call and once I do that, he'll know something about her I'm betting when I call him back." Mac gave Allison a quick hug and went to see about Christopher while she sank into the chair. "I wish I was more like you two," she whispered. "You always know what to do. I just dissolve into tears. I've let go enough tears to float the Ike." "You'll get better at it," Harm assured her. He was about to say more when his call went through and he held up his hand for quiet. He was still talking and writing furiously when Mac returned with the baby and Allison shook her head in admiration. "He likes you and mostly he screams when anyone else tries to get near him. You're so good with him too. I run out of patience far too quickly. What I bring home after a day at the slime pit doesn't last very long I have to admit." "Well you should be having Dale here to help." "And there's no point in wishing for something that's not going to happen," Harm reminded them both as he brook his connection. "Dale is there, and he's stuck and that's not going to change. Meanwhile you've got me." "You can't do it all," Allison sniffled. "You already do too much for me and Chris." "I've got pretty broad shoulders," he replied. "And I'm not going anywhere." "Yeah well see that you don't," Mac sighed, her arms going firmly around him. "I can't lose you Sailor." "Not going to happen," he promised. "Now let me get the Admiral back." The phone rang several times before a distracted sounding AJ picked up. "Sir you're all set. Just get to the airport." "I'm on my way. Uh. . . the news on Kendra is pretty sketchy except that she's being flown to the Guadalcanal for treatment there. Like Bud was. She's stable and they're hopeful. Hopeful. What the hell does that mean anyway." "That things could be a lot worse sir," Harm said softly. "We'll meet you at Reagan sir. Try to take it easy. If you have cardiac arrest you're not going to get to talk to her, and with all respect sir, that probably is what you want to do most in the world right now." "You damn right it is. I'll see you soon." Harm hung up and looked into two anxious faces. "She's alive, and stable for the moment and on her way to the Guadalcanal first stop. From there who knows but at least all the wheels are turning." Mac nodded and took the phone. Several minutes later she had reached Cdr. Cavanaugh and managed to ignore Harm's scowl as they talked. "The same information was relayed back to the Ike," she sighed. "That they stabilized her but didn't want to keep her there. That the surgical team on the Guadal was better able to handle her." "Well at least they're on top of it," Harm grunted. "Allison we hate to leave you. Are you going to be OK? I wish you'd come back with us." Mac gave her arm a quick squeeze. "You know I can't. I have a job and Chris is just getting settled in his daycare. I need to be using the time I'm on my own to grow up some. It was easier in Mt. Vernon somehow but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be trying." "Well you know where we are. The invitation is open. Or even if you just need to do something for a long weekend without Junior here," Harm told her, holding to her arms and giving her cheek a light kiss. "You're not alone." "Thank you," she sniffled. That means so much to me. Really it does." "You take care of yourself," Mac added. "Stay in at night and keep your door locked." "Count on it. Thanks for a wonderful weekend. Please let me know as soon as you hear about Kendra. She's such a nice person and doesn't deserve this." ================= REAGAN NATIONAL AIRPORT "Damn that we can't go to the gate," Harm raged, pacing the main concourse. "Harm what would you do at the gate that you can't do here except pace in a smaller area," Mac smiled. "The flight is in. He's fine and likely so is Kendra. If God is listening that is." A few minutes later they easily caught sight of AJ in the crowd of people and they rushed to meet him. "Any other news sir?" Harm asked once. "I was just going to call" AJ said as he shifted his luggage. Harm quickly grabbed the bags from him and they made their way to a quiet spot. "With any luck I can be on a plane on the way to the Guadalcanal in a few hours and then I'll know for myself how she really is." "You're planning on going out there?" Mac asked. "Damn right I am." It was several minutes before he was finally connected through, the somber look on his face growing more so as he listened. "Thank you Commander. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up and let out a long sigh. "They're taking her to Ramstein. She's stable enough for the transport now and they want to get her somewhere that's more capable of handling her." "That's good isn't it?" Mac whispered. "I just wish Commander Buckley had sounded more positive" AJ sighed. "I almost got the feeling he wasn't telling me everything." "Sir, I'm sorry" Harm said softly. "Is there anything we can do?" "Take me to Andrews. Because I'm getting to Ramstein as soon as possible." "Sir are you sure?" Mac asked. "I have to get to her" he sighed. "She wouldn't be there if it wasn't for me. I've made a mess of everything and God help me if I lose her I'll have no one to blame but myself." "You won't lose her," Mac said quietly. "She's going to pull through and she's going to be fine. You just have to keep hoping for the best." AJ said nothing and they hurried through the crowded airport to the baggage claim before heading to the car. "Sir how do you plan on arranging a ride to Ramstein?" Harm asked once they were in the car. "I don't know" AJ admitted. "But I know I have to get to her. I'm sure someone over there owes me a few favors." They headed directly to Andrews despite the late hour and it wasn't long before AJ learned of a transport plane leaving for Ramstein first thing in the morning. "I could take a commercial flight quicker" AJ growled. "Dammit I want to get to her now." "Sir you're exhausted and maybe it's not a bad idea for you to go in the morning" Mac said quietly. "They still have to transport her anyway. Go home, get some rest and leave first thing in the morning." "You're right" he sighed. "Hell I'd probably scare her if she saw me right now. Not that she's even going to want to see me. Not after I was such a fool." "We're not going to touch that one sir" Harm said with a small smile. "Come on we'll take you to get some food and then we'll drop you off and you'll get a few hours sleep and be at Andrews in the morning." They found a late night diner and after forcing a few bites of his sandwich down AJ pushed his plate away. "Thanks but I can't eat" he sighed. "All I can think about is Kendra. And how she wouldn't haven't been there if I hadn't pushed her away." "You don't know that" Mac countered. "She said she wanted to go on one of the tours." "Well she wouldn't have gone on this one if I hadn't screwed us all up." "You love her don't you sir?" she said softly. "Yes and that's probably why I pushed her away. I've never felt this way about anyone since Laura. And when she died I swore I'd never get that attached to anyone again. And then Kendra walked into my life. And I couldn't help but fall in love with her, no matter how many times I told myself I was a fool for doing so. The age difference a big part of that and now I know how idiotic I was to worry over something so insignificant. "You know she loves you too," she added. "And I'm sure it's not too late for you to make things right with her." "I plan to. I'm just praying I get the chance." "So are we" Mac said gently. "We're all praying for her." They dropped AJ at his place after receiving his assurance he would call as soon as he got to Ramstein and had information. "Home sailor" Mac sighed. "This has been a long day." "Never a dull moment that's for sure" he said softly. "I really feel bad for the Admiral. He's so afraid he's not going to get to tell her how much she really means to him." "I'm glad we're not like that anymore" Mac whispered. "Me too" he said softly as he reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. =============== The door buzzer woke them both the following morning and Harm leaped from the bed, trying to look at the clock and grab for his robe at the same time. "It's the Admiral," he called, having checked the peep-hole and then opening the door. "Sir good morning. To what do we owe. . ." He paused as he saw his C.O. dressed in a civilian suit. "Sir I thought you'd be getting a hop to Europe." "Oh I'm hopping all right. A Lufthansa flight in four hours out of Dulles. This is after an hour chat with the SecNav this morning." "Would you like some coffee sir?" Mac asked softly and AJ smiled despite his concern, getting his first candid glimpse at their domestic life. Both in robes, Mac devoid of make up and her hair still bearing the evidence of recent sleep. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything. And I would love some coffee, thank you. I need to talk to you two anyway and I don't have a lot of time." "Sir how's Kendra?" Mac asked, smiling gratefully at Harm who had guided her to a chair while he went to the kitchen. "Any news?" "No change. It's like a broken record. They need to remove a bullet but they can't until she's more stable. So 'no change' is all I get when I call. God Mac I'm so scared I'm going to get there and it's going to be too late." "That's not going to happen sir," Harm called from the kitchen. "Now why are you flying commercial and does this have to do with the SecNav?" "Yes it does," AJ sighed. "I left word with his duty officer that I had an emergency. I told him about me being friends with Kendra and that I would be gone for a few days at least. Then in the middle of packing and talking to the MAC people out at Andrews I get a call from him telling me not to go. He reminded me that he didn't approve of my relationship with a woman young enough to be my daughter and that permission to travel was denied." "But you're. . ." Mac stammered, unable to finish her thought. "Going anyway. Yes I am. Which brings me to my purpose here. I'm not sure what's going to happen when I get back. I'm not sure I'll even be anything more than an Admiral in retirement process at that point. So just to be clear, Colonel Mackenzie I'm going have faxed to Tiner before my flight leaves, instructions for you to be acting JAG while I'm gone and then maybe for some time after until. . .well until my replacement is on board." "Sir don't say that,. About replacement," she gasped. "You are the Judge Advocate General sir. I have no problem taking your place while you're gone but only temporarily. Don't make it anything more than that." "Not willingly no Colonel," he smiled softly. "But I want to leave JAG in good hands. And with that fax, I will have done that." "Yes sir, thank you for your confidence in me." AJ nodded and accepted the coffee cup from Harm, smiling again as he watched the officer go to sit next to his wife, his arm automatically to go over her shoulders and she to lean slightly against him. "Thanks for this," AJ nodded a few minutes later, setting his cup down. "I'm leaving JAG in good hands I know." "Sir please call us as soon as you see her," Harm urged. "Let us know how she is, and sir. . .well this is not of my business but please when you get there. . .don't waste it sir." "You're right it's not," AJ said slowly, "but if I had listened to some really good advice I was being given months ago, we wouldn't be here doing this now. I'm out of here. Colonel you've got the con." A few moments later they were alone and Harm reached for her, giving her a long kiss. "So my wife is the acting JAG." "Yes I am," she smiled, returning the kiss. "Why don't we go back to bed and I'll give you a few lawful orders to carry out." ******************** Ramstein, Germany 12 Hours Later "Admiral AJ Chegwidden" AJ said to the doctor at the base hospital. "Please what's the word on Kendra Martin." "She made it through surgery to remove the bullet," Captain Jillian Sommers informed him. "But she's still extremely critical." "Can I see her?" AJ asked. "Family?" Captain Sommers asked. "Not quite. But I really need to see here. Please I just flew all day so I could get to her. She and I are. . . .well it's complicated but I really need to see her." "I understand" Captain Sommers nodded. "I'll allow you just a few minutes tonight. If she starts to show signs of improvement, then I'll allow you more time." "I'll take whatever I can get," AJ said quietly. "I just need to tell her something important." Captain Sommers led him to the ICU and motioned him to the room where Kendra was. "Please just a few minutes. She's very weak right now and she doesn't need to be upset either." "What I have to say won't upset her. At least I hope not." He slowly made his way into the room, unable to suppress a gasp at the sight of her beneath all the wires and tubes. Despite knowing her condition was serious, nothing had prepared him for this. "I'm so sorry" he whispered as he reached for her hand. "This should never have happened. If I hadn't been such a fool.." His voice trailed off and he took a deep breath. "Kendra honey I'm here" he said softly. "I'm here because I need to tell you something very important. I love you and I want to be with you." ******************** JAG HQ's Monday Morning "Where is he?" the SecNav demanded as he rushed into AJ's office where Mac was seated. "Dammit he went anyway didn't he." "Yes sir he did" Mac nodded. "I'll have his career for this. I forbade him from going." "He took some personal time sir." "Which I didn't approve. And I suppose he left you the acting JAG?" "Yes sir. Is there something I can do for you?" "No" the SecNav growled. "If you hear from Chegwidden tell him his days as the JAG are numbered." He strode from the office and Mac let out a long sigh. She had hoped the SecNav wasn't serious about his threats but now she wasn't so sure that was the case. "Everything okay?" Harm asked. "I saw the SecNav was here. What did he want?" "The Admiral's head on a platter. He said he's going to have the Admiral's career for doing this." "You think he's serious?" Harm frowned. "Unfortunately yes" Mac said quietly. "I'll warn the Admiral when he calls. Not that I think he cares." "He's more worried about Kendra. And I don't blame him. I'd say the hell with my career if I were in his shoes." "Well the SecNav is a fool if he pushes him out. He'll never get someone that good to replace him and I think deep down he knows that." "So what other good news do we have this morning?" Harm asked. "I haven't gotten through everything yet" Mac frowned as she looked at the pile. "But stick around. I may have something for you." "I'll do that. You enjoying your time on the throne here? The seat of power. The chair from which a thousand decisions have been launched?" "Shut up." "Yes ma'am. Good grief I didn't know this amount of sh. . .well stuff, came through here. Do you know what to do with most of it?" "You better believe it," she declared, gesturing to a large box to which she had affixed a sign reading ''For Adm. Chegwidden's attention'. "I figured that would buy me a couple days and then if he's not back, I'll try to work my way through some of it. And speaking of heartburn, acting JAG or not, we're supposed to have opening arguments in the Rasmussen dereliction case. You ready?" "Of course I'm ready. I was born ready. Didn't I prove that last night?" "I don't know. I wasn't awake enough. Getting back to the matter of Ensign. . .oh my god. No. NO." "Mac what?" She was staring at the set of papers she was holding, her hands trembling. "It's orders for sea duty Harm and flight status. . .for you. No. NO. I won't let this happen. I won't let you go. I need you here. JAG needs you. I need you. The baby needs you." "Why don't you calm down and let me see what it says," he urged, reaching for the paper, only to find that she had a death grip on it. "Mac let me see. I'm not going anywhere but I need to see what it is so it can be handled." ================= RAMSTEIN AFB HOSPITAL Kendra stirred slightly, managing to get one eye half way open despite the pain even that simple movement caused. She hurt everywhere. And she wasn't even sure how that could be since she remembered the bullet hitting her in the side and then she fell. . . .fell from the stage to the cement below. With that much straight in her pain-fogged mind, she returned to working on getting her eyes to open. One was part way already. The other one was resisting and she gave up. Instead she allowed pleasant thoughts to consume her. Memories of the dream she had. Of a handsome man holding her hand, telling her he. . . "Kendra come on honey that's good. Open up those pretty blue eyes. Come on now." AJ. AJ was here. It was not a dream. The man she loved--the man she believed had not wanted her--was here. She could hear his voice, and she felt her hand pressed between his. Now if she could just let him know. . . "Nurse. Nurse what's going on here? She's got one eye sort of open. I know I saw it move, but she's not responding to anything. Help me out here would you?" "Sir she was very heavily drugged to get her through the surgery. She's still on medication for the pain and to keep her calm. However. . ." She gestured to the monitors. "I do believe she knows your here. The numbers don't lie." AJ swallowed hard and lifted her hand to his cheek, pressing his lips to the back. "Kendra honey I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere until I know you're going to be OK. I told you last night I loved you, and I'm ready to say it again, but I would like to look into your eyes the next time." "Lucky woman," the nurse smiled. "Lucky to have survived the shooting, and now lucky to have you here." "No I'm the lucky one" AJ sighed. "It just took almost losing her to make me realize that. Right now I just want her to be okay." ****************** Harm and Mac's Apartment Eight hours later "Mac please don't do this to yourself" Harm sighed as he let them into the apartment. "You and the baby don't need this kind of stress. It's going to be okay. I'll get it fixed." "Harm you can't get it fixed" she whispered as she wiped away the traces of her tears. "Yes I can. I can resign. You and the baby mean more to me than the Navy does." "I won't let you" she sniffled. "Mac you don't have a say in this. I'm going to submit my resignation in the morning." "No. As much as I don't want you to go, I won't let you do that. Your career is important to me. I happen to be very proud of you and I like that feeling." "Honey I can't leave you and the baby now" Harm groaned in protest. "Harm stop" she whispered. "Listen to yourself. You're a Naval Officer. You've been called to duty and you're going to do that duty. Just like your father and grandfather did before you. Do you think either of them wanted to leave their family? Of course not. And I'm sure your grandmother and mother didn't want them to go either. And I don't want you to go. But at the same time I know you have to go." "You won't let me resign will you?" he said quietly. "Even if the Navy would let you, I wouldn't let you. And I'm almost ninety-nine percent sure there is no way they would allow you to resign right now." "I don't want to leave you" he whispered as he pulled her into his arms. "Not for ninety seconds let alone ninety days." "At least you'll be home for the baby" she whispered. "That's all that really matters. And somehow I'll get through the next ninety days even knowing you're going to be flying from the deck of a carrier in the Gulf again." "See this is what I don't want" he sighed. "You worrying about me. It's too much for you and the baby." "Harm we'll manage. Somehow. And at least you and Dale will be in the same place so Allison and I can worry together." "You have no idea how much I wish I didn't have to do this. Honestly if I thought I could manage a way out of it" "No" she said as she shook her head. "We'll get through this. It's only ninety days. I can live with that." "What if it's more than ninety days?" he whispered. "What if I can't come back for the baby?" "Then I'll be like the rest of the Navy wives who've given birth while their husbands were out to sea" Mac said with a small smile. "I'm not first and I'm sure I won't be the last." "No I'm sure you won't" he sighed. "And you're one of the bravest I know. Hell I think I'm more scared than you are about me going." "You are right now. But once you get out there you're going to be doing what you born to do. And you're going to be fine." "I never had a wife and baby to worry about coming back to before," he said softly. "God won't take you away from me" she said softly. "Not when I just got you. We still have a lot of life left to live together sailor. Starting with the two weeks until you leave." *********************** Ramstein, Germany "AJ" The murmur of his name brought him closer to her side and he gently reached for her hand again. "I'm right here Kendra" he whispered. "You're real," she said with a faint smile as she finally managed to push her eyes open. "I wasn't sure." "Very real. And very worried about you. You know you shouldn't scare the old guy like this." "Where am I?" she asked. "Germany. They medivac'd you here the other day." "What about the others?" she asked. "They're all fine. You were injured the worst. I swear for a while I thought I was going to lose you." "I didn't know you cared" she whispered. "Well I certainly didn't give you any reason to think I did," he murmured in misery, pushing stray hair from her forehead. "I've lived and died a thousand lifetimes getting here to you. But you're going to be OK honey." "I guess so," she said softly. "Right now I don't feel very OK. I hurt and I need to sleep. Will you be here?" In reply he picked her small hand up and pressed it between his two large ones. "Security is going to have to bodily remove me to get me out of here." "Do you want us to talk?" She whispered, her voice barely audible. "I want a lot more than that, but I'll settle for talking for right now," he replied, struggling to keep tearfulness from his voice. "And I know I don't have the right after the way I've been but. . .but would it be OK if. . .uh. . .may I tell you I love you?" Her eyes widened and she shuddered slightly. "Only if. . . .only if you mean it AJ, because I can't do that any more. I came on this trip in part to get over you." "I don't want you to get over me. I thought I did but a few days in the desert and then this and now I know for sure. I know don't want to be over you. So it's OK then? For me to tell you then?" "If you mean it, I want you to." Her eyes closed as AJ leaned over her, pressing his lips to her temple. "I love you Kendra Jean Martin," he said as softly and tenderly as he could and a few seconds later she was asleep, a soft smile on her face. ==================== Sunday, May 25th McLean Va. In the two weeks that had passed, Kendra had returned home to Virginia to stay with AJ, despite the SecNav's continued disapproval of the relationship. AJ had offered his resignation to the SecNav, only to have it ripped in half and returned to him with the warning that next time that wouldn't be the case. Meanwhile Harm had prepared for his TAD to the Ike, a fact of life Mac was slowly learning to live with. And in honor of the Memorial Day holiday and Harm's final day before his travel orders, AJ had thrown a picnic for the JAG staff and friends. "How many more hours before your sailor leaves?" Allison asked as she sat down next to Mac and Kendra at one of the picnic tables. "Seventeen hours and twenty three minutes" Mac said with a small smile. "And I've promised myself I'm going to hold it together until he's gone. He doesn't need me sobbing all over him." "He's really not looking forward to this is he?" Kendra asked as she looked over to where Harm and AJ were entertaining Chris. "He wanted to resign. But I wasn't going to let him. Not that the Navy would have let him anyway." "The SecNav wouldn't take AJ's resignation either. I guess he realized he didn't really want to lose someone like AJ." "Well he was ready to give it all up for you" Mac smiled. "And to me that says it all." "Yeah it does" Kendra blushed. "I hope we can make it work out. He's risked so much for us to be together." "It'll work out." "Mind if I join you ladies?" Harriet smiled as she sat down with them. "God I feel so fat already and I've still got a few months to go." "I'm not sure I should be sitting at this table" Kendra laughed. "I might end up pregnant like everyone else." "And that would be bad why?" Harriet grinned. "One step at a time. AJ and I are just getting back together." "But you can picture yourself having his child one day right?" Mac asked. "Oh yeah. The Albert Jethro Chegwidden Jr. he's always dreamed of having. But we need a little time to make sure we're on the right track for all that." "So how's Dale doing?" Harriet asked Allison. "Is he surviving his first sea duty okay?" "Yeah I guess he's made some friends. He's looking forward to seeing Harm of course." "And his new baby when he gets home?" "He uh still doesn't know about that," Allison said sheepishly. "It's just not the kind of thing you can tell someone over the phone. He's just going to get a big surprise when he gets home." "I take it you've sworn Harm to secrecy?" Kendra asked. "Oh yeah. He said he won't say a word and I trust him." "You can" Mac nodded. "Harmon Rabb always keeps his word. "Did I hear my name mentioned in vain?" Harm smiled as he walked over to the table, Chris still snug in his arms. "Harm I can take him if you want to eat" Allison offered. "I know he's been pretty attached to you since we got here Friday." "He misses Daddy" Harm smiled. "And I'm good for now. I just came over to see if you ladies needed anything. Well actually the Admiral wanted me to check and make sure Kendra was okay. I told him you were in good hands over here with the three mothers but he was still fretting." "Tell Mr. Chegwidden I'm fine" Kendra laughed. "And to stop fretting." "Kendra you have no idea how much he worried over you when he knew you were hurt," Harm told her quietly. "No he just passes all that off as not wanting to think about it," she sighed. "And I don't remember much of anything. The last thing I recall is taking my seat and getting my notes out, then I've just got bits and pieces, except for the pain. And then AJ. AJ holding my hand and talking to me. AJ asking if it was OK if he told me he loved me." With that, to everyone's surprise, she burst into tears, which of course brought AJ on the run. "What the hell did you people do to her," he roared, reaching for her only to have her hold him at arm's length. "AJ I'm fine. No one did anything. We were just talking and I got emotional. I'm sorry." "You're sure," he scowled, looking up at Harm. "You're sure I don't need to kill Rabb or anything?" "No but I love that you'd think you might want to defend my honor," she smiled, accepting the kleenex Harriet offered her. "Thank you." "Oh believe me I keep them handy," she sighed. "I have at least one crying jag a day. No pun intended. Bud yells 'hormone storm' and grabs up AJ and they run the other way." "I just realized there's three pregnant women at this table," AJ laughed. The others joined in and a few seconds later the laughter doubled with Tracy walked over with Sturgis. "Tracy I don't know if you want to sit down here," Harriet giggled. "We're just laughing over the fact that there's already three pregnant women sitting here. I'd hate to think we were contagious." Tracy blushed and Sturgis simply shrugged, saying softly, "I wouldn't have any objection," making her blush even further. "Tracy we have to talk," Mac laughed. "Hey I got nothing to say," she laughed as well, sitting down and when Sturgis rested his hands on her shoulders she reached up and covered them with hers. "Harm, Admiral, buy you a beer?" Sturgis smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of Tracy's head. "You got it." Harm brushed the back of his hand against Mac's cheek and she caught it, putting a kiss in the palm. "Unless you don't want to leave her right now," Sturgis added hastily. "We're fine, thanks," Mac smiled. "And it's better to be normal right now. We're going to have our goodbye tonight." Harm turned her face up to his, giving her a long kiss and ambled off with Sturgis and AJ. "It's going to kill him to leave you," Harriet whispered, "not to mention what it's going to do to you." "We can handle it," Mac said firmly. "Ninety days will fly by. What I actually mean though is I can handle the separation. The fear for him flying I'm just not sure of." "Have they said how much he's going to do?" Tracy asked gently. "No and I don't think I want to know," she sighed. "Some instructing and counseling of the young guys but also some relief too. What I'm praying for is an early end to this whole mess. You know if we had just finished the job twelve years. . .never mind. Not going to ruin the day by getting off on a rant." Allison patted her hand in comfort. "So what do you and Harm have for the big goodbye?" "You won't laugh will you?" "Of course not." "When we leave here we're driving to the eastern shore to sit on the beach and make love and watch the sun come up." "Wow." This from both Harriet and Tracy in the same breath. "Can that be any more romantic," Kendra sighed. "Well it has to last me a long three months." Mac's words caught slightly and she swallowed a quick sob. "It's going to be okay" Allison soothed. "Like you said before it will fly by. He'll be home before you know it." "Thank you for saying that" Mac sniffled. "And I shouldn't be carrying on like this. You're the one who isn't going to see your husband for six more months." "Or longer" Allison added softly. "I just hope he's here for the baby's birth." A few hours later Harm bid farewell to his friends before guiding Mac to the car. "That was the easy goodbye" he sighed. "Tomorrow is going to be a lot harder." "I know" she whispered. "But can we just forget about tomorrow tonight." "Yes we can," he said softly. For the next twelve hours there was nothing in the world besides them as they made love under the moonlight skies and then again as the sun rose the next morning. Afterwards she lay in his arms, doing her best to keep her tears at bay. She'd promised herself she would be strong for him, knowing this was no easier for him than it was for her. "I love you Sarah" he whispered. "Don't ever forget that." "Just promise you're going to come back to me" she whispered. "To me and our baby. I can't do this alone you know." "And you won't have to. I'll be back." "Promise" she pleaded. "Because I know if you promise me then it will happen. You've never broken a promise to me yet." "And I never will. I promise I'll be back Sarah. Just promise me you're not going to spend the next ninety days worrying." "I can't promise that. Because I'm not going to stop worrying until you're back here with me." "Try not to worry to much" he sighed. "It's not good for you and the baby. And that's all that matters to me." "I'll try" she sniffled. "I guess we need to get going if you're going to make Norfolk by eight." A short time later she gave Harm once final hug as the plane waited on the tarmac. "I love you" Harm said softly as he hugged her tightly. "I'll call when I can. But you know it's going to be crazy out there." "I know. And I'll understand. Just call when you can." With one final hug and kiss he hurried off and she watched until the plane took off before retreating to the car. Only then did she give into the tears that somehow she'd managed to keep at bay. Finally she lifted her head up and wiped away her tears. It was only ninety days. Somehow she would manage. She had to. For her sake as well as the baby's. The End Watch for the next Chapter on the July 4th weekend