TITLE:  “Blessings Returned Tenfold”
AUTHORS:  Annie R. amrsecret@hotmail.com
                    Pat Steiner SSbpmn@aol.com
SUMMARY:  The latest in the Blessings series, which began with Thanksgiving, to 
Christmas, to Valentines Day and to Easter.  This story culminates on Memorial 
Day, and picks up where Blessings from Above left off.  Rated PG for mild 
violence and language.  A Harm-Mac Story.
DISCLAIMER:  JAG belongs to Paramount et al.  This work does not involve 
copyright infringement and is presented for entertainment only.
FEEDBACK:  We ask that you respect our work for the effort that goes into it.  If it 
does not please you, please simply move on.  

“Blessings Returned Tenfold”

30 Apr 01
Rabb Farm
Belleville Pa.

"Sarah, Sarah here's some tea," Grams called softly, finding her at the far corner 
of the porch.  "Are you out here brooding?"

"Yes I am," Mac answered, her tone sharper than she intended.  

"Sarah he's coming home tomorrow," Grams reminded her.  "In a matter of hours 
we'll be taking him out of that hospital."

"I know," she answered softly, not taking her eyes from the tree across the yard, 
keeping her gaze fixated on the blossoms and trying with all her strength not to 
cry.  She was not succeeding, a fact Grams could see from the gentle heaving of 
her shoulders.

"OK let's have it," she ordered, taking hold of Mac and turning her back to face 
her.  

"Sarah I want you to drink this, and then I want you to come inside and get some 
rest," Grams ordered, "but first I want you to tell me what's wrong.  You were fine 
when you left this morning to see Harm, and when you called with the news of his 
discharge you were so upbeat.  Now you've come home, and something is wrong.  
I know you've got hormones raging, but that's not what's wrong is it?"

"He's not wanting to come home."

"Excuse me?  For what possible reason?" Grams yelped.  "Why would he not 
want to be discharged?"

"Oh that he wants--very much.  But he wants me to get him to a facility."  She 
gave a long sob at that point, holding to her belly at the same time; an action that 
made Grams' eyes open wide. 

"Sarah are you having problems...are you in pain?" she gasped, immediately 
thinking how upset Harm would be if anything happened with this baby.  

"Not pain, just sick with worry," she sighed.

"You need to relax," Grams counseled, "this kind of stress is not good for a 
pregnancy."

"Well no one planned for Harm to get critically injured just after I got pregnant," 
she snapped and Grams backed up in shock.

Mac's hand went to her mouth and she burst into tears.  "Grams I am so sorry.  
Look, maybe I should take Harm back to D.C. and let him have his wish.  That 
would be better than treating you like this because you've already gone above and 
beyond for us."

"And that's the only time I want to hear you make that suggestion," Grams told her 
firmly.  "You and Harm belong here until he's one hundred percent.  Now what's 
this crap about him going to a facility?  And what in the hell kind of facility?"

Mac's head swiveled at her grandmother-in-law's language, knowing the older 
woman must be herself upset.  "It's just exactly that Grams.  Crap. He thinks he 
should go into some kind of rehab facility or..."  She choked back a sob.  "Nursing 
home."

Grams simply shook her head and hugged her granddaughter in law.
 
It had been over two weeks since the plane crash and Harm's healing was coming 
in bursts and starts.  He had been transferred from ICU to a regular medical bed 
and then finally to the rehab wing of the huge medical center.  The doctor's initial 
prognosis had turned out to be too optimistic, for the head injury had proved to be 
more debilitating than originally predicted.  He was now walking with a cane, 
having suffered weakness on one side, and at times his speech was at times slow 
as he grappled for the right word.  He still needed assistance in dressing.  But 
more disturbing was his discouragement, which the doctors said was increasing 
each day.  Harmon Rabb was not a patient man by nature, and having himself 
slowed by this recovery was making him less so.



 "Sarah honey, it's going to be okay" Grams soothed. "I know this hasn't been 
 easy on either of you, but you've got to remember that you've got someone 
 else to think about now."
 
 "I know Grams" Mac wailed softly. "But you know how impatient Harm is. And 
 he doesn't want to be a burden to either of us. He thinks that going 
 somewhere else would be the best thing."
 
 "I will have a long talk with Harm when he gets here tomorrow. I know how 
 pigheaded and stubborn he is but he's just going to have to learn to deal 
 with this for now."
 
 "Good luck" Mac said as she wiped away her tears. "Grams, I've told him a 
 hundred times that he needs to be patient but patience is not in Harmon 
 Rabb's vocabulary."
 
 "Well we're just going to have to fix that now aren't we" Grams said with a 
 gentle pat to her shoulder. "Come on inside and get some rest. You're going 
 to need it for tomorrow."
 
 University of Pittsburgh Medical Center
 May 1st
 10:00 AM
 
 Harm was sitting in the chair beside his behind when Mac arrived the next 
 morning, the same discouraged look on his face as he'd had the past few 
 times she'd been to visit.
 
 "Ready to go home?" Mac said with as big of a smile as she could muster.
 
 "Home is in DC not Belleville"
 
 "We’ll we're going home to Belleville. And you can throw as much of a temper 
 tantrum as you want but that's where you're going. Grams and I are willing 
 and able to take care of you and this is the way it's going to be."
 
 "Mac, you can't" Harm started only to cut off by her finger to his lips.
 
 "Harmon David Rabb, I married you for better or for worse. In sickness and 
 in health until death do we part. I can and I will take care of you. And so 
 you'd better just get used to that fact."
 
 "Well I'm not" Harm pouted. "This isn't how it's supposed to be."
 
 "Well, mister, you 'd better just get used to it" Mac said as she knelt down 
 in front of him. "Cause this is the way it is. And I can handle anything you 
 throw at me because right now the only thing that matters to me is that 
 you're still on this earth with me. When I think about it that way, 
 everything else doesn't matter."
 
 "I don't deserve you" Harm whispered as he reached a somewhat trembling hand 
 through her hair. She reached for his hand, wrapping it in hers before 
 bringing it to her lips and kissing it softly.
 
 "Yes you do" Mac said softly. "And we're going to spend the rest of our 
 lives together, raising that family of Rabb babies we both want."
 
 "Mr. Rabb, looks like you're all set to go" the nurse said a few minutes 
 later. "Mrs. Rabb, you've got the information for the Clinic in Altoona 
 where he's going to continue his rehabilitation right?"
 
 "Yes I do" Mac assured her.
 
 He didn't say a word as he stood up, Mac immediately putting her arm out to 
 help him. He waved her away and she bit back the tears as she stepped back 
 to allow him to make his way on his own to the waiting wheelchair.
 
 "Let's go home sailor" Mac whispered as she pushed the wheelchair out of the 
 room.
 
 The ride to Belleville was accomplished mostly in silence, Harm staring out 
 the window most of the time. When they pulled up in front of the old 
 farmhouse Grams was waiting on the front porch. Both she and Mac hurried 
 around to help Harm and he gave them both a long glare.
 
 "I can manage" he said irritably.
 
 Mac immediately took a step back but Grams didn't move. With a sigh, Harm 
 pushed himself out of the car, allowing Grams to help him. She didn't remove 
 her arm from his back as they crossed the driveway and Mac held the door 
 open as Harm slowly made his way inside. Grams reached for Mac's hand and 
 gave it a small squeeze as she passed.
 
 "He forgets I can be just as stubborn" Grams whispered as Harm walked 
 towards the living room. "I've been around Rabb men long enough to have 
 developed a thick skin. You're going to have to do the same."
 
 "I know" Mac sighed. "But it's hurting me just as much to see him like this. 
 He doesn't seem to understand that."
 
 "It's not going to be easy Sarah" Grams said quietly. "And you're both 
 stubborn. And you're both going to have to learn when to give in and when to 
 keep up the fight. But you'll get through it. With faith in God and the love 
 of your family and friends, you'll get through this. Now come into the 
 kitchen. I've got lunch on the stove."
 
 Mac headed to the living room where Harm now sat in one of the chairs, 
 staring outside.
 
 "Grams has lunch ready" Mac said quietly.
 
 "I'll be there in a minute" he said without looking over at her.
 
 With a long sigh she headed to the kitchen. But the thought of food didn't 
 appeal and she headed to the back door of the farm house.
 
 "Sarah?" Grams questioned. "Aren't you going to eat some lunch?"
 
 "Grams, I'm not hungry" Mac sighed. "I'm going to take a walk." She was out 
 the door before Grams could say anything else.
 
 "Dear Lord, please help them through this" Grams whispered softly with a 
 look to the heavens above. She started towards the living room only to find 
 Harm slowly making his way to the kitchen.
 
 "Where's Mac?" he asked.
 
 "She went for a walk" Grams replied. "Which is good because you and I are 
 going to have a little talk"

"Grams I can't take a lecture right now," Harm groaned.  "No one knows more 
than I do how much my attitude sucks right now."

"Well I'll start my lecture after that part then," Grams smiled. "Sit Harmon. And 
start eating.  I very clearly heard the doctor say that you needed food to keep up 
the strength you need for rehab."

Harm picked up a half sandwich with his hand, staring at it as it shook.  "It would 
have to be my right hand," he sighed.

"There's nothing your right hand can do that your left can't do just as good with a 
little training," Grams scolded.  "Harm you had brain surgery for crying out loud.  
You've come a long way back--from mostly dead I might add."

"I'm aware of that," he snapped.  "I'm aware of how I was allowed to live, in a body 
that's mostly useless."

"Well that's mostly up to you now isn't it," she pointed out and gestured to the 
sideboard where a small stack of papers sat, each one illustrating an exercise he 
was to do at home.  Each a movement designed to put strength back into a body 
weakened by injury and the subsequent surgery.

"Grams, I begged until I was hoarse for Mac to take me back to D.C. and let me 
go someplace until I could come back to her the man she fell in love with and she 
just refuses."  He reached over and put his hand atop hers.  "Would that be so 
wrong--to have her not to see the man I've become."

"As wrong as it could possibly be," Grams told him firmly.  "Harm it would be one 
thing if you required twenty four hour nursing--if you couldn't feed yourself or take 
care of your personal needs, but that's not what's happening here.  You've got 
some weakness on one side and...

"And half the time my mouth doesn't do what my brain tells it," he snapped.

"Manners please," Grams snapped back.  "Your injury does not give you license 
to be rude."

"Yes ma'am."  Harm had the good grace to look chastised.

"Some weakness on one side and a small speech problem," Grams went on.  
"Nothing that can't be over come, or lived with if you have to."

"And some short term memory loss.  Just enough to make me look like a complete 
ass in the courtroom if I can't remember what question I was about to pose." Harm 
took another bite of sandwich and a small spoon of soup.  "Grams could we talk 
about this later."

"You can be sure we will," she told him.

"Where's Mac?"

Grams looked at him, his cue that he should remember.  

"Upstairs...uh no, she went for a walk."

Grams nodded.

"She should be eating," he worried, looking out the window for her.

"Yes she should in fact.  And I'm proud of you for realizing that," Grams smiled.  
"I'm worried about you Harmon, but I'm worried about her too.  She's painfully thin, 
much more so than she should be for a woman nourishing a baby."

"My....uh...fault" he stammered, the word eluding him momentarily.

"Partly," Grams agreed.  "But only in so far as she's worried about you.  She 
needs to take responsibility for her health, just as you do."

"I can go get her."

"You eat first, and then if she hasn't come back, it might be nice to take her a 
sandwich and a cup of milk," Grams suggested.

Harm fell silent as he choked down the last bites of his sandwich and spooned up 
as much soup as he could hold.  "Thanks Grams.  I'll take something out to her 
and see if she's wanting that...uh...divorce...yet."

"That'll be the day," Grams groaned and shook his head.  "Harmon the love she 
has for you is the stuff legends are made of."

He managed a smile at that.  "I would die for her," he said softly.

"I know," Grams smiled and put her dishes in the sink.  "I'll make the sandwich for 
her."

"Thanks Grams," he smiled and began to walk haltingly to the front room.

"Harmon, your dishes to the sink please," Grams reminded him.
====================================
She had not intended to do so, but once clear of the house, she broke into a run, 
taking the path that led down to the river and then following the river bank.  When 
she ran she concentrated on her footing and her breathing and blissfully thought 
of nothing else.  Breathe-step, breathe-step...until the crash of thunder overhead 
drew her up short.  She had not seen the clouds rolling in, and now it was 
apparent it was in fact going to let loose any second.  A quick about-face turned 
her for home...the house they were now calling home.
======================
"What the hell?" Harm heard it too and hobbled to the back porch.  Over the river 
hung angry black clouds, lightning crackling between them.

"Sarah?  Sarah you out here.  Hurry inside will you?"  His voice traveled the 
immediate yard but there was no answer. 

"No sign of her?" Grams asked in concern, coming to join him.

"I need to go look for her," he gasped as the rain began to pelt down.

"Harm you'll do no such thing," she told him, "not only for obvious reasons but 
because there's no need.  She'll either be along here in a couple minutes or she'll 
take shelter until it's over.  You know the weather here in the mountains.  These 
things blow up and blow over all in twenty minutes sometimes.  Not to mention if 
she comes back and finds out you're out there, she's going to be upset and she 
doesn't need that."

Harm said nothing in response, staring out into the driving rain.  "Sarah please," 
he murmured, feeling his stomach tighten in worry."

  
 For the next ten minutes he paced the back porch. Finally he couldn't stand 
 it any longer.
 
 "Grams, I have to go find her," he said determinedly as he slowly made his 
 way down the two steps.
 
 "Well you're not going alone" Grams retorted as she looped her arm through 
 his.
 
 "Grams you" he started. "You" he tried again…"shouldn't be out here."
 
 "And neither should you. And now that we've established that both of us 
 shouldn't be out here, let's go find Sarah before we're all a bunch of 
 drowned rats."
 
 They'd just reached the path that led to the river when Harm spotted a 
 totally soaked Sarah Rabb coming towards them.
 
 "Mac" he called and she looked up with surprise.
 
 "What are you doing out here?" Mac screeched as she ran to him and Grams. 
 "Are you crazy? You could have fallen or..."
 
 "What about you?" Harm demanded. "You're the one who's carrying our baby."
 
 "Can we finish this discussion somewhere dryer?" Grams said shaking her head 
 at the two.
 
 "Yes we will" Harm said irritably.
 
 "Upstairs and out of those wet clothes, both of you" Grams ordered when they 
 finally got back to the house. "I'm going to put on some tea for all of us."
 
 "Easier said than done" Harm muttered as he started towards the stairs. With 
 a giant sigh he took the first step, wobbling unsteadily.
 
 "Am I allowed to help you or not?" Mac inquired softly as she came up behind 
 him.
 
 "Please" Harm sighed, the fight suddenly out of him. She gently wrapped her 
 arm around his waist to support him, and they slowly made their way up the 
 stairs. She directed him into the bedroom and onto the bed.
 
 "Okay, let's get you out of those clothes" Mac said softly.
 
 "You first" Harm countered. "You're wetter than I am."
 
 "Harm" Mac started.
 
 "Mac, please take care of yourself first. I'm not going anywhere. If I could 
 dress myself.." He stopped and looked away, unable to look at her. "You 
 shouldn't have brought me here. You should have just left me at some home 
 somewhere. I'm just going to be too much of a burden to you and Grams."
 
 "Harm" Mac whispered as she knelt down in front of him, gently turning his 
 head so he was facing her. "Please don't say that. I love you very much. And 
 there's no way I was going to leave you in some home. We are going to get 
 through this together. I don't know how to explain to you that nothing 
 matters to me except having you here with me."
 
 "So you can wait on me hand and foot" Harm finished irritably. "That isn't 
 what you signed on for when we got married."
 
 "Harmon Rabb, stop it" Mac shouted. "Will you just stop it.  I love you. I 
 will always love. Nothing you do or say is ever going to change that. And as 
 for what I expected when we got married, there is only one thing I expected. 
 And that was to spend every last day of my life with you. And that's what 
 I'm planning on doing."
 
 "Taking care of me, right?"
 
 "Well at least you're here to take care of" Mac exploded. "I'd rather be 
 dressing you and helping you eat every day then visiting your grave once a 
 week. And at least our child is going to know his or her father. I would 
 have thought after growing up without your father you'd want the same for 
 your child." She stormed out of the room, heading to the bathroom to change.
 
 "You're an idiot Rabb" Harm chided himself. "A total idiot."
 
 "Yes you are" Grams agreed as she walked into the room.
 
 "Grams, please, not another lecture" Harm sighed. "Besides, I need to get 
 changed." He attempted to pull his shirt off, only to find he couldn't quite 
 get his right arm up enough. "Grams" he said irritably. Without a word she 
 helped him get the shirt off and reached into the suitcase of clothes Mac 
 had brought down for another one.
 
 "Let's get you out of those wet pants as well" Grams ordered.
 
 "Thank you" he said quietly when she'd finished helping him get dressed.
 
 "Harmon, you are pushing Mac away for no reason. That woman loves you more 
 than anything else in this world. She went through hell those three days you 
 were in lying in a coma. All she wanted was for you to live."
 
 Without another word she strode out of the room. Harm sat there motionless 
 until Mac returned a few minutes later.
 
 "I'm going downstairs to get some tea" Mac said quietly. "Are you coming 
 down or are you going to sit up here and pout?" She extended her hand to him 
 and a few seconds later he accepted her help up.
 
 "Why do you put up with me?" Harm sighed as he wrapped his arms around her.
 
 "Because I came too close to finding out what my life would be without you" 
 Mac whispered. "Right now I'm just happy to have your arms around me."
 
 "I love you Sarah" he said softly.
 
 "Come on, let's go get some tea" Mac said pulling away and taking his hand.
 
 "About what I said earlier" Harm started and Mac put a gentle finger to his 
 lips.
 
 "Don’t worry about it sailor" she whispered. "Remember I'm a Marine. I've 
 got thick skin and it's just going to have to get thicker."
 
  
"I hope so," he sighed, "because I'm pretty scared right now."

She turned around and stared at him intently.  "Harmon Rabb is scared?"

"Yes the man with two DFCs, man who's been called ruthless in the courtroom--
Harmon Rabb is terrified."

"Of your condition?  Honey this is only temporary.  You're going to do your rehab 
and by the time it's done it will be like it never happened."  She stroked his cheek 
with gentle fingertips and then reached up and kissed him tenderly.

"Well those are nice words, but we both know it's not going to happen," he 
growled.

"I know no such thing," she said firmly.  "I know only what the doctors and 
specialists have told you and me.  That how much you come back largely 
depends on you.  And anyway, even if you were never any more than what you 
are right now, it wouldn't matter to me."

"Well it would to me," he sighed.  "You did not marry a man who can't even tie his 
own shoes."

"I married a man because I loved him more than anyone should be entitled to 
love," she whispered.  "I didn't marry Harmon Rabb the lawyer or Harmon Rabb 
the aviator---I married Harmon Rabb the man.  And if you think your little fits of 
temper and upset are going to drive me off, you'd better think again.  Now I'm 
going down for some hot tea and to get warm.  Please come with me."

"Yeah OK," he sighed, "but we've settled nothing."

"We have nothing to settle." She started down the steps and turned to make sure 
he was moving along with no difficulty.  The rehab people had assured her he 
should navigate stairs, that it was good for his leg, nevertheless she worried.  

"Mac don't," he gasped suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"What if I fell and knocked you down?  I could hurt you or the baby," he answered, 
freezing in place, "with you walking in front of me like that."

"Well what if I came and walked beside you," she smiled.  "Which is were I belong 
anyway," She stepped backwards the two steps until she shared his.  "Now let's 
go have that tea."
==============================================
Harm began rehab at Altoona Medical Center two days later and the next week 
fell into routine.  Mac would take him each morning, making the hour drive, and 
then kill the next six hours until it was time to bring him home in time for dinner.  
The evenings consisted of largely silence.  He would be exhausted from the day's 
activities, and she from the driving coupled with the sheer boredom.  Finally it was 
the weekend and this pleasant Saturday afternoon found Mac serving lunch on 
the porch to Grams and Harm when the cloud of dust and the crunch of gravel 
signified a visitor.

"Company?"

"AJ," Grams smiled and rose to greet him as he pulled up.

Harm looked pained rather than pleased.  

"Harm you look like you're sucking on a lemon," Grams admonished him when 
she caught sight of his face.

"Sorry Grams, it's just that sometimes it's all I can do to be...to be civil to you two 
and..." 

Mac's gasp of surprise interrupted him.  "I didn't realize being civil to your wife 
required a bunch of effort," she whispered, not able to keep the hurt tone from her 
voice.

"Mac I just meant...."

"I think I know what you meant pretty well Harm," she sighed, leaving him at the 
table to join Grams.

AJ parked and hurried around to help Sydney out.  Grams and Sydney hugged 
quickly while AJ held his arms to Mac.  She went eagerly to him, at that moment 
feeling a distinct need for a friend's embrace.

AJ noticed at once how tightly she clung to him, even if just for a moment, and 
from the porch Harm observed the same thing, feeling a pang of jealousy spread 
through him.  Not that he thought there could ever be any kind of a link there, but 
because his wife had turned to another for comfort, even if briefly.

"Sir," he smiled, making himself rise and hold out his hand to AJ.  "Sydney.  To 
what do we owe this?"

"To a beautiful spring day and a desire to escape the city," Sydney smiled.  
"Actually AJ and I have a three day weekend in the Poconos scheduled, and of 
course we're stopping here first."

"Well don't just stand there.  There's plenty of tuna salad and fruit sitting here," 
Grams smiled.

"I'm not embarrassed to announce I'm starving," Sydney smiled.  "You see when 
we travel, we 'make time'.  That means only the car gets attention.  And god forbid 
I drink a soda because I know my bladder is going to pay for it."

"Sounds like a wonderful romantic weekend," Mac smiled, hoping she was 
keeping her tone unwistful.  She and Harm and not even attempted any closeness 
beyond snuggling since the accident.  She was surprised in fact when he reached 
to take her hand.  

"I'm sorry."

"Don't," she told him, ignoring the presence of the others.  "Don't apologize for 
something you can't control.  Surely in one of those sessions you attend they're 
teaching you that."

"They're trying, I'm just not very....re...recep.....receptive," he sighed and fell into 
silence, though he kept his shaky hand in hers, eating with his left as best he 
could.

"You know we didn't plan to arrive to sponge lunch from you Grams but that was 
wonderful," AJ smiled when they were done.  "Thank you."

"You are very welcome," she smiled.  

"Grams let me help you with the dishes," Sydney spoke up.  "AJ has something to 
talk over with Mac and Harm."

"Actually Harm is going to excuse himself unless it's...that I should...that it's vital I 
stay," Harm spoke up.  "I'm going to take the sports page for a walk."

"No go ahead," AJ assured him.  "It's really Mac I need to speak to anyway since it 
more directly concerns her."

"Then I'll walk Harm up and be right with you," she smiled, not trusting him on the 
stairs.

They negotiated the stairs in silence, her keeping her arm around his waist, until 
they reached the bathroom door.  "I don't know what AJ wants, but I'm sure it 
doesn't concern just me," she said softly.

"Doesn't matter.  You'll tell me about it anyway," he sighed.  "And really I just want 
to stretch out for a while.  You know they do work me to death all day at rehab."

She kissed his cheek and was turning to go when he caught her arm.  "Mac about 
what I said earlier about civil and all..."

"Harm," she interrupted patiently.  "Do you realize how many of your sentences 
begin with 'about what I said'?  Please stop worrying about what you say.  I told 
you many times, I don't take it seriously."  Even as she was saying the words, she 
knew they were not true, for what he said did hurt, at times very badly.

"OK," he nodded and slipped into the bathroom.

"AJ let's take a walk," Mac smiled when she returned to the kitchen.  Sydney and 
Grams were chatting happily over the dishes.  "Baby ducks down by the river.  It's 
not much but it's about the biggest thing going around here unless you want to go 
see if Mrs. Willet's cat came down from the tree."



 A few minutes later they were making their way down to the river.
 
 "I don't think I need to ask how things are going" AJ said quietly. "The 
 look on both of your faces said it all."
 
 "It hasn’t been easy that's for sure" Mac sighed. "And you know how stubborn 
 and impatient Harm is. He wants to be like he was and he wants it yesterday. 
 They keep telling him at the clinic that it's going to take time, but he 
 doesn't want to hear it."
 
 "I was wondering how he was going to handle this. And of course the Harmon 
 Rabb I knew wasn’t going to accept this very easily."
 
 "No he hasn't accepted it. He's kicked and screamed the whole way. He 
 actually wanted me to take him to a nursing home. He thinks he's being a 
 burden to me and Grams. I can't seem to get it through his thick head that 
 I'm simply happy to have him here with me. That I don’t mind being here, 
 even though I'm missing working."
 
 "Well, that's what I wanted to ask you about. I haven't pushed you to come 
 back yet because I know Harm has needed you, but I was wondering if you 
 wanted to start back at least part time."
 
 "To be honest, it might be a good idea" Mac sighed. "Sometimes I get the 
 feeling I'm making it worse for Harm than better.  Maybe if I wasn't here he 
 wouldn’t feel like he has to get better over night."
 
 "I don't think that part is going to change" AJ smiled. "You know your 
 husband better than anyone else Mac. The only think that is going to make 
 him happy is getting back to the way he was."
 
 "And hopefully that is going to happen. Because I'm not sure he can live 
 with himself if he's not."
 
 They reached the river and Mac sat down on one of the large rocks, AJ 
 sitting down next to her.
 
 "Mac, it's going to be okay" AJ said gently, putting a comforting arm around 
 her shoulder.
 
 "I'm trying to stay positive" Mac whispered as the tears slid down here 
 face. "But sometimes it's so hard. He's so distant with me now. I feel like 
 I'm with a stranger most of the time. I love him with all my heart but 
 sometimes I feel like a part of him was lost in the accident."
 
 "Mac, he still loves you just as much. He's just trying to deal with a lot 
 right now. He's only lashing out at you because he's scared."
 
 "Yes he is" Mac agreed as she wiped her tears away. "He told me. And to be 
 honest I'm scared too. Scared that if he doesn’t get better I'm going to 
 lose him forever. That he'll just pull away even more."
 
 "Mac you won't lose him" AJ assured her. "Harm loves you too much to leave 
 you."
 
 "I wish I could believe that. But right now I'm just trying to get through 
 each day. And I'm going to talk to Harm about me going back to work part 
 time. I'm sure that someone from the church would be willing to take Harm to 
 rehab."
 
 "Let me know" AJ said as he patted her hand. "If you're not ready, I'll find 
 a way to manage. But if you want to come back, I'd be happy to have you even 
 if it is part time."
 
 Grams and Sydney were in the kitchen chatting when AJ and Mac returned.
 
 "Harm didn’t come back down?" Mac asked and Grams shook her head.
 
 "I went upstairs to check and he was pretending to be asleep. Do you want me 
 to go get him?"
 
 "No, I'll go check on him" Mac sighed. "I'm sorry guys. I didn't know he 
 would react this way to visitors. Grams and I have sort of gotten used to 
 his attitude."
 
 "Mac it's okay" Sydney said quietly. "I'm sure this isn't easy for Harm. Or 
 you for that matter. There's nothing to apologize for."
 
 "I'll be right back" Mac said as she stood up and headed upstairs. "Hey you" 
 she said softly as she entered the bedroom.  "You going to hide out up here 
 until AJ and Sydney leave."
 
 "If it's possible yes"
 
 She sat down on the side of the bed next to him and reached for his hand. 
 "Harm, you can't avoid everyone."
 
 "Why can't I?" he retorted as he pulled his hand away from her. She stared 
 at him, willing herself to remain calm. She knew seeing others wasn't easy 
 for him but he was going to have to get used to it.
 
 "Harm" Mac started.
 
 "Mac I'm really not in the mood for another lecture. So save your breath."
 
 "Fine Harm" Mac said quietly. "You can sit up here for the rest of your life 
 feeling sorry for yourself if that's what you want.  In the meantime, I'm 
 going to go downstairs and visit with our friends."
 
 "Sarah everything okay?" Grams asked as she met Mac at the bottom of the 
 stairs.
 
 "No Grams it's not" Mac whispered as she lost the battle to keep the tears 
 at bay. "It's never going to be okay?"
 
 "Shh" Grams soothed as she pulled Mac into her arms. "I know it seems like 
 it's never going to get better but it will. You just have to have faith."
 
 "Grams, I'm running low on that right now" Mac wailed. "He just keeps 
 pushing me further and further away. I don't know how much more I can take."
 
 "I know sweetie" Grams whispered. "But you know he doesn't mean it. He's 
 just lashing out because he's hurting right now."
 
 "So am I" Mac cried and Grams hugged her tighter.
 
 Upstairs Harm buried his head further into the pillow, his own tears 
 drowning the pillow as he tried to block out the sound of Mac's sobs. He 
 hated himself for being like that to her. Hated himself for not having the 
 courage to deal with what had happened without hurting her like that. He 
 just plain hated himself. She didn’t deserve a husband who treated her like 
 this. At that moment, he wished God would have simply ended it with the 
 plane crash. She would have gotten over losing him. And she wouldn't be 
 subjected to spending the rest of her life taking care of him.
 
 "Sarah, why don’t you rest in the living room until dinner?" Grams 
 suggested.
 
 Mac shook her head. "I want to talk to AJ and Sydney" she said as she wiped 
 away her tears. "They came all this way to see us."
 
 Grams nodded and the two women headed back to the kitchen.

"Mac I'm so sorry this is going this way," Sydney said softly.

"I don't know what I expected," Mac sighed. "But this is not it.  I'm just so thankful 
he's alive.  It's the first thing I say everytime I talk to God.  But he's not going to be 
happy until he's back to being better than he was--like the bionic man I watched 
as a kid or something.  All I can do is hope the therapy they're putting him through 
is working."  She gave a long sniffle and Grams handed her a napkin.  "He's 
taking physical therapy, and then they're also talking to him about his injury and 
helping him to cope with whatever limitations he may have to live with."

"What's sad is that he could be so much worse," Grams sighed.  "Well Sydney 
you're a doctor, you know."

"I know very well," she nodded.  "Some people have that surgery and are 
quadriplegics.  If all he's got is that weakness and a small speech and memory 
problem, he's damn lucky, and I'm probably going to have to tell him so."

Mac smiled at her vehemence.  "Thanks but he's getting it from all sides, me and 
Grams, and the people at the rehab.  But most of all from himself.  He's harder on 
himself than anyone else is.  I guess it's that aviator arrogance, can't stand to be 
less than perfect at anything.  Normally that's a wonderful quality in him--it makes 
him a top lawyer in the courtroom, but that stubbornness is not helping him here."

"Well if he'd use some of that stubbornness toward recovery instead of hating 
everything he'd be better off too," Grams sighed.  

"Well I know one thing, he's not going to drive me away," Mac vowed.  "We've 
waited too long to be together, came through too much already.  And now I have 
this baby to think of.  A baby our love made and that I want very badly."

"And so does he," Grams reminded her, patting her hand.  "But right now he's 
feeling like he can't be a father or a husband."

"Tell me about it," Mac sighed.
===================================
Sunday morning

"Sailor hit the deck," Mac ordered, giving his shoulder a firm shake.

"Huh what...where..." he stammered, coming awake.  He was taking pain 
medication only at night now to help his sleep, and it tended to make him 
disoriented when he awoke.

"I've brought you some breakfast, and then I'm going to help you get cleaned up, 
but we've only got an hour," she told him.

"Hour for what?  Mac it's Sunday.  I don't go anywhere on Sunday."

"Church mister."  She shook her head, at first amazed he could not recall, and 
then remembered that was part of his condition.

"Sorry."  She leaned down and kissed him, ruffling his hair.  "Eat your breakfast.  
Church--we talked about it last night.  Pastor Jacob called to ask if you were 
coming, and Grams promised we'd all be there.  Is this getting familiar to you?"

"Uh...yeah, but Mac I don't think I really want to go hobbling in..."  Her sharp look 
made the words die on his lips.

"Just who do you think it was who made the lame walk," she glowered.  "Not to 
mention, who do you think you owe the credit to for the fact that you're able to 
walk at all--for the fact that you lived for me to hold, and to see our baby be born.  
Now eat.  And then we're going to get dressed and go.  It's a beautiful day, the 
fresh air will be great."

She straightened up and put her hands on her hips, emphasizing she did not 
intend to be denied.

"All that's going to happen is everyone is going to look at me with this pity and I 
hate that," he murmured, nevertheless spooning up a mouthful of oatmeal.

"Then keep your eyes on the cross and you won't see them," she retorted, 
heading into the bathroom.

"You people ready up there," Grams called forty minutes later.  "The Rabb pew is 
waiting, and so am I."

"Just a tie and shoes left," Mac called back.

"I'll do without," he growled.  "God doesn't care."

"No but your feet do," she answered, sitting down on the edge of the bed to help 
him with his shoes.  She leaned over to tie them, as she had done each morning, 
and suddenly to Harm's horror she gave a small murmur of distress and fell onto 
the floor, collapsing in a small ball.

"Mac what..." he gasped, the screamed.  "Grams....Grams get up here quick.  
Something's happened to Mac."  At the same time he awkwardly knelt beside her, 
trying to lift her onto his lap.  "Sarah, please," he begged, immediate tears 
forming. "Sarah what happened?"  As best he could he rolled her toward him, 
gasping again at her pale face.

For a moment he stared helplessly at her until Grams reached them.  "Harm what 
happened, exactly," she demanded, kneeling beside her grandson.  

"Oh Grams I don't know.  She was leaning down to help me with my shoes and 
she just dropped to the floor.  She's going to be OK isn't she?"  He brushed her 
cheek with the back of his hand and an even more stricken look passed across his 
features.  "Grams is it the baby---is she losing the baby?"

"I doubt that very much.  More likely she simply fainted.  Just hold her still for a 
minute."  Grams went into the bathroom and returned with a cold wet cloth.  
Working quickly she wiped her face and pressed the folded cloth to her forehead.  
Sure enough Mac opened her eyes.  

"Mac, Mac honey I've got you.  You're OK.  Isn't she Grams?"  Harm held her 
tightly, his whole body shaking with fear.

"Sarah, what happened?" Grams asked gently.

"I just...I don't know," she frowned.  "Everything just got kind of dim and then I felt 
myself falling.  I'm OK now.  Let me up."

"Not yet," Harm declined.  "You just be still and let me take care of you for a 
change."  He was still shaking and she cupped his cheek with her palm.  

"I'm fine really.  I must have just fainted.  It's not that big a deal.  Something that 
happens to pregnant women."  She gave him a small smile.  "You do remember 
the baby right?"

"I don't think of much else," he sighed.  "But right now I'm scared to death about 
you.  One second you're reaching for my shoe and the next you're on the floor."

"Let me up," she begged.  "I'm fine and we have church.  It's real important to me 
to get there please."

"Grams?"  Harm looked to her, hoping she would order Mac to bed.

"I think we should get going," Grams smiled, her hand on her grandson's shoulder.  
"Harm sometimes pregnant woman faint, especially if they haven't eaten 
breakfast."

"I wasn't hungry," Mac mumbled.  "I'll have something in the car.  Get me up 
please."

Grams nodded and helped her to stand, and between them they helped Harm to 
his feet as well.  Grams frowned to herself, thinking of Mac's insistence she had 
not been hungry, and she made a mental note to speak to her about taking better 
care of herself---and the baby.

"Mac you're sure you're OK?" Harm asked gently, wrapping his arm around her.  
"I'm not sure we shouldn't be calling the doctor or taking you..."

"Church Flyboy is the only place I'm going," she smiled, kissing him before he 
could speak further.  "With some orange juice and toast I'm going to be fine.  I'm 
sorry I scared you."

"That you did, big time," he sighed.  "OK we can go, but I'm keeping my eye on 
you."

They arrived at church without further complication, and the choir was just coming 
to voice as they walked in.  With a grateful sigh Mac slipped her arm around 
Harm's waist and he likewise followed suit.  "I always feel like I'm home here," she 
smiled and looked at the Rabb pew, having her usual vision of her and Harm, and 
three or four little stair stepped children sitting between them.

"Me too," he smiled and for the first time in a long time she could feel him relax.  
With nods to the people they passed, Grams led them to their bench.  The choir 
was still singing and Harm's arm tightened around her waist, his hand splayed 
across her belly where their child rested.  "I love you Sarah," he whispered into 
her ear.
 
 
 For Mac, the service was exactly what she needed. Her spirits lifted as the 
 voices of the choir sang. They would get through this with the love of their 
 family and friends. The fact that he was still with her was all that 
 mattered. God had granted them another chance.  Another chance to make that 
 dream come true. The dream of filling Gram's farmhouse with the sound of 
 children laughing and playing. Of her and Harm growing old together.  She 
 squeezed his hand as she listened to Pastor Jacob, feeling peace for the 
 first time in weeks.
 
 Harm sat through the service trying to keep focused on what Pastor Jacob was 
 saying. But he found himself looking around the church, remembering the day 
 just a few months ago when they'd been married here. Everything had been so 
 different then. He'd been looking forward to the rest of his life with Mac. 
 They'd finally found the happiness they'd both searched their entire lives 
 for. But that was before the crash. Now he didn't care. The dreams he's had 
 now seemed out of reach. And all he was looking at was a lifetime of having 
 someone else take care of him. Of never stepping foot into the cockpit of an 
 airplane again. Of watching his child grow up without being able to do the 
 things he'd always dreamed of doing with them.  A life that was nothing that 
 he'd ever expected.
 
 "Harm, come on" Mac said pulling him out of his reverie. He looked around 
 and realized that the congregation was already starting to filter out of the 
 church. "I want to go over and talk to Pastor Jacob."
 
 "Can't we just go" Harm said sullenly. He didn’t want another lecture on his 
 attitude, especially from Pastor Jacob. He didn't want to talk about how he 
 felt with anyone, least of all a man of God.
 
 Before Mac could reply Pastor Jacob made his way over and Harm tried to hide 
 a sigh.
 
 "Sarah, how are you?" he said as he gave Mac a hug. "It's so good to see you 
 again."
 
 "I'm fine, thank you" Mac smiled. "And it's good to be back here. There's 
 some very therapeutic about this place."
 
 "Yes there is" Jacob smiled. "Harm, how you feeling?"
 
 "Fine" At Harm's one word response Mac shot him a long glare, remembering 
 how much Pastor Jacob had done for them when Harm was in the hospital. "Mac, 
 I'm really tired. I'd like to go home."
 
 "Of course, don't let me keep you" Jacob said quickly. "And remember, we're 
 here anytime. You don’t have to wait until Sunday to come and visit." He 
 looked at Mac as he spoke and she nodded slightly.
 
 "Thank you. I may take you up on that," she said as she looped her arm 
 around Harm's waist. "Come on sailor, let's take you home."
 
 Harm was silent on the short ride home; Mac giving Grams worried glances. 
 She hadn't yet told him she was going back to work, having arranged with AJ 
 to work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Monday and Friday would be her 
 travel days, going back and forth from DC to Belleville. She wasn't sure how 
 he was going to take the news and she'd hoped that church would have 
 mellowed his mood a little. But if anything he seemed more withdrawn than 
 before.
 
 "Sarah I'm going to make us some lunch and you are going to eat this time," 
 Grams said firmly as they helped Harm inside.
 
 "Thank you Grams" Harm spoke up. "It's about time someone told my wife to 
 start taking care of herself instead of me."
 
 "Harm, I am taking care of myself" Mac sighed. "I wasn’t hungry this morning 
 is all." She followed him into the living room and sat down with him on the 
 couch.
 
 "Well if you faint like that again, I'm taking you to the hospital myself" 
 Harm replied.
 
 "I'm fine" Mac assured him. She was silent for a second before deciding she 
 might as well tell him now that she was going back to work. "Harm, when AJ 
 was here yesterday he asked if I was planning on coming back to work soon."
 
 "What did you tell him?"
 
 "I'm going to start back this week," Mac said quietly. "At least part time."
 
 "Of course" Harm replied. "Why should you be stuck sitting here around here 
 all day with me?"
 
 "Harmon David Rabb, I do not want to hear another word about being stuck 
 with you" Mac screeched. "I do not consider being with you a prison 
 sentence."
 
 "You should. That's the way I see it."
 
 "Harm you are being way to hard on yourself" Mac whispered. "You have to 
 stop this and learn to deal with what has happened."
 
 "Stop what?" Harm shouted. "I didn't ask for this to happen. And maybe I'm 
 not dealing with it very well, but what do you expect?"
 
 "Harm"
 
 "No" Harm shouted as he forced himself to his feet, his hand shaking so 
 badly that he nearly dropped his cane. "You have no idea" he stopped, trying 
 to gain some control with little success…"no idea how I feel. I wish I'd.." 
 he stopped again as he tried to piece together the words…"never survived the 
 plane crash."
 
 This time it was Mac that shouted. "Don't you ever say that" she cried. "My 
 god Harm, how do you think I would have felt?"
 
 "You would have gotten over it" Harm said quietly.
 
 "No I wouldn't have" Mac whispered. "I would never have gotten over losing 
 you. We can get through this together Harm. It will take time but we can do 
 it. "
 
 "I'm glad you have that much faith, because I don't."
 
 And as she stared at her husband, she knew it was the truth. And she knew 
 because she'd been there. Cursing God for taking away the man she loved. 
 Somehow she'd been rewarded with a miracle and he was still with her. But 
 now he was cursing that same God for keeping him alive in a body he felt was 
 less than adequate.
 
 "I have faith because I still have you in my life" Mac said softly. "When 
 you were in the coma and I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up, I 
 hated God too. Hated him for giving me a glimpse of paradise with the man I 
 loved and then cruelly taking it away. But then I got you back."
 
 "You got back half a man," Harm said quietly. "You didn't get back Harmon 
 Rabb."
 
 "No, you're still there" Mac whispered. "You're trying to bury Harmon Rabb 
 but I won't let you. I won't give up Harm. No matter what you do. I will 
 stay by your side until the day I die."
 
 He didn't say anything as he fought the battle of emotions inside of him. 
 Part of him wanted to reach out to her, to tell her how sorry he was for 
 hurting her like this. But the other part of him wouldn't let him. She 
 didn't understand how he felt. No one did.
 
 "I'm going outside" he said finally as he started past her.
 
 She shook her head and willed back the tears as she watched him walk out. 
 "Dear God" she whispered with a look to the heavens above. "Please don't let 
 him shut me out completely. I know he's still in there somewhere."

Sarah Rabb came up behind her.  "You know what," she offered softly, "I just 
hope before this is over we're not sorry we didn't give in to his wish and let him go 
to some place to be taken care of."

"Grams what..what are you saying?" she gasped in horror.  "I would never...I 
could never....I love him and I need him.  And he needs me.  And us."

"For just that reason--because you do love him," Grams sighed.  "I don't want that 
love destroyed by what's happening here."

"No I don't think so," Mac sighed.  "I need him with me.  And if something this 
small--compared to real tragedies that can happen in life--can destroy our love, 
then it wasn't much in the first place."  She turned suddenly to the older woman.  
"Grams you wouldn't rather we weren't here?  I know it's hard for you--hard to see 
him like this."

Grams gave her a sad smile.  "Child I was a mother at sixteen, and a widow with a 
baby at eighteen.  This is all small potatoes.  I can well handle anything that pig 
headed boy throws at me.  My only concern is for your marriage, and my great 
grandchild growing inside you."

"Then we'll stay," Mac said decisively.  "I feel like the love he gets from you, this 
house, the church--all of that is going to make a difference."

"And are you comfortable with your decision to be in DC during the week?"

"I hope so.  It's not ideal, but I'm saving some leave that way.  Also I'm giving us 
some space and giving myself something to put my mind on besides dwelling on 
all this.  I think it's going to be good for both of us."  Her gaze rested on Harm as 
he walked at the edge of the yard, leaning heavily on his cane, the sign he was 
tired.  "I'd best get my sailor," she smiled.

"Hey," she called softly, coming up behind him.  "You're doing good with your 
walking.  You want a little company?"

"Suit yourself," he sighed, and then with an attack of guilt he quickly lifted his arm 
over her shoulders.  "Let me change that to I'm glad you're here.  Walk me down 
to the river.  I'd like to see the ducks."

"I'd love to," she smiled.  And for the next forty minutes there was nothing in the 
world but the bright spring day and a man and a woman very much in love.  
=====================================

"I hate this," Harm groaned, throwing a change of clothes into his duffel bag for 
the day in Altoona.  "Do you realize how much I wish we were in D.C. in our 
apartment, and we were going to JAG like normal."

"About as much as I do," she answered, trying to gather her own things for the 
drive.  She would deliver him to rehab, and then get on the road for D.C.

"Yeah well even handling a case with...uh...Singer would be heaven right now," he 
muttered.  "God Mac what if I'm never able to do that again.  What if I can't 
ever...ever cross examine a witness or do an investigation or.."

"Or what if you worry more about your rehab and less about some dim future," she 
snapped.  "And for godsake Rabb, you've only got a bit of a speech problem and 
a little memory loss.  It's not like your IQ was reduced by half.  You could do 
research or teach or write.  Or--now how's this for a really wild idea which I'm 
blaming on the fact I haven't had coffee yet, even the decaf crap I'm drinking 
these days--we both leave the Navy and settle down right here in this farmhouse."

"Now you've lost it," he declared, shaking his head.

She froze in place, her shoulders shaking, glad her back was to him so that he 
could not see her face.  "I think you've forgotten something," she said softly.  "We 
at one time talked very seriously about raising a house full of Rabb kids right 
here."

"That was then-this is now," he retorted.  "It would have been our choice.  Look 
I've already had flying stolen from me.  I'm not willing to let being a JAG attorney 
suffer the same fate."

Her shoulders shook again, and this time silent tears spilled as she snapped 
closed the suitcase.  "Then maybe you'd best pay attention to your rehab this 
week," she sighed, "because wishing isn't going to get you back into JAG.  In the 
meantime I'm going because I feel like it's where I can do the most good right 
now.  But what I'd really like to do is being living our dream."

"In case you haven't notice Colonel, our dream is on hold," he told her, zipping the 
duffel with a vengeance.

The drive to Altoona was in total silence.  Mac pulled up to the entrance with a 
long sigh.  The full reality that she was not going to see him for five days hit her as 
she helped him alight.  "I'll walk you in."

"Uh I'd sooner we just did good-bye's here," he stammered, feeling tears well and 
hating it.

"I can do that," she said, not wanting to go against his wishes at that point.  Her 
arms awkwardly went around him.  "Harm I love you.  Please never doubt that, 
and please never forget that."

"I'm trying honest," he whispered, holding her as best he could without losing his 
balance.

"I know," she sighed.  "I'll call you tonight.  You do good today."

"Mac...Sarah....I love you.  I'm loving you the best I can," he sighed and his hand 
fumbled against her belly.  "There's a baby in there."

"Yes there is," she smiled and felt tears threaten.  The joy they should be sharing 
at that was totally overshadowed by all they were going through.

"Goodbye Harm.  This is only going to get harder.  You go to your day and I'll go 
to mine and I'll call you tonight I promise."  Her lips quickly found his, giving him a 
light kiss.

He walked partway to the door and turned back as she was driving away.  
"Goodbye Sarah," he whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears on his cheeks.

For her part, Mac held her tears until she could no longer see him in the rearview 
mirror.  "Good bye Harm."  It took every bit of her resolve to keep going---to not 
turn around and sweep him into her arms and promise him it would be OK.  It 
would not be OK, not for a long time to come she knew.

 
 
 



 It was almost 1:00 PM when she pulled into the JAG parking lot. She'd driven 
 straight through, not feeling any need to stop and grab lunch. After the 
 emotions of the morning, her stomach was still on the edge. She walked into 
 the bullpen a few minutes later; realizing it had been almost a month since 
 the plane crash. A month that had felt like a hundred years. A gaze into 
 Harm's empty office made the tears pool again and she took several deep 
 breaths as she walked into her own office.
 
 The afternoon passed quickly as she attempted to catch up on what had been 
 going. She'd also spent a good portion of the day explaining to the others 
 how Harm was doing, carefully leaving out the current difficulties they were 
 experiencing. Only AJ knew the truth and she preferred to keep it that way 
 at the moment. Harriet had invited her over for dinner, but Mac had 
 declined. She needed some time alone to deal with her own emotions. She 
 promised Harriet she'd stop over another day during the week, but tonight 
 she just wanted to be alone.  At 6:00 she loaded her briefcase and headed to 
 their apartment. She was exhausted from the day, and she sunk onto the 
 couch. She was just about to reach for the phone when it rang.
 
 "Hello" she said tiredly.
 
 "Mac, its Maggie. How are you?"
 
 "I've been better" Mac sighed. "How did you know I was in town?"
 
 "I just called and talked to Grams. She said you'd started back to work part 
 time while Harm is doing his rehab. I asked to talk to him but Grams said he 
 wasn't in a talking mood. I take it things haven't been going very well 
 then."
 
 "No Maggie, they haven't" Mac said as she tried to keep her tears at bay. 
 "It's been pretty difficult the last few weeks."
 
 "If there's anything I can do, please let me know" Maggie offered.
 
 "Thanks but really there's nothing anyone can do except Harm. It's just 
 going to take time and he's having a hard time with that."
 
 "I was thinking of bringing Mollie and Brandon up for a visit this weekend. 
 I thought it might cheer Harm up."
 
 "It would cheer me up to see them" Mac smiled. "I've missed you guys. Harm 
 isn't much into guests right now."
 
 "Are you sure it would be okay?"
 
 "Grams would love to see Mollie and Brandon and so would I" Mac replied. 
 "Harm will just have to deal with it."
 
 "I still have to check with Josh. I kind of thought of this without 
 consulting him and he might have other plans. Grams said you were heading 
 back to Belleville on Friday so I'll call you before then to let you know 
 what we've worked out."
 
 "Sounds good" Mac sighed. "Let me know."
 
 She hung up with Maggie and was going to call Harm when her eyes caught 
 sight of their wedding picture on the table beside the sofa. She reached for 
 it, staring at the happy couple in the picture. That couple no longer seemed 
 to exist.
 
 The phone rang again and she reached for it.
 
 "Mac where have you been?" Harm demanded when she answered. "Do you 
realize 
 what time it is?"
 
 "I've been at JAG" Mac said tiredly. "And yes I know what time it is. I was 
 just trying to make some head way at work."
 
 "Mac are you okay?" His tone was gentler now, the worry very evident in his 
 voice.  "You sound tired."
 
 "I am," she admitted. "I'm going to grab something to eat and then soak in 
 the tub for a little bit and then go to bed. How was your day?"
 
 "Same as always" he sighed discouragingly. "I don't want to talk about it."
 
 "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I talked to Maggie. She said she talked to 
 Grams. She wants to bring Mollie and Brandon up for the weekend."
 
 "I don't want anymore visitors," Harm said irritably.
 
 "Well maybe you don't but I do" Mac shouted. "I am not cutting myself off 
 from the world because you don't want people to see you. Harm, people do 
 care about you. Everyone misses you at JAG. They all asked about you. Bud 
 and Harriet want to come up and see you." He didn't say anything and Mac 
 sighed loudly. "You shouldn't shut yourself off from the world."
 
 "No lectures please"
 
 "Maybe I should just go then" Mac whispered. "I don't want to fight anymore. 
 And it seems like no matter what the topic, that's what we do."
 
 "I'm sorry" Harm whispered. "You don't….you don't deserve this."
 
 "All I want is the man I love back. I don’t care about anything else but 
 that. And I don't mean physically. I just want the man I love to love me 
 back."  The tears were streaming down her face as she finished, and she 
 choked back a sob as she looked down at the picture in her hands.
 
 "I'm sorry" he whispered again, his own tears coming down as well. "I'm 
 trying Sarah."
 
 "I have to go" Mac whispered. "I love you Harm. I call you tomorrow night." 
 She hung up the phone before he could reply; burying her head in the pillow 
 as the sobs racked her body. She hugged the picture of what they used to be 
 close to her as she wept, wondering if they'd ever find themselves again.
 
 "Harm" Grams said gently as she came up to him. For a moment he just looked 
 at her, the pain in his eyes tearing at her heart. "Harm is Sarah okay?"
 
 "No Grams she's not" Harm whispered. He turned away as she went to reach for 
 him, and slowly walked away. She watched him with a heavy heart, wondering 
 how much more either of them could take.
 
 The rest of the week passed quietly, Mac's phone call's coming later and 
 lasting but a few minutes. Maggie had called back, sheepishly telling Mac 
 that Josh had planned a weekend getaway in NY Mountains.  Josh had arranged 
 a baby-sitter but Mac had talked Maggie into dropping the kids off with her 
 at Grams for the weekend. It was on the way and Mac was looking forward to 
 some time alone with the kids. Grams had loved the idea and Mac hoped that 
 maybe the kids would help bring Harm out of his mood. Meanwhile Mac had 
 thrown herself into work, finding that if she was busy she didn't have time 
 to think about everything else. Harriet had watched her closely, noticing 
 that her friend wasn’t taking care of herself. She begged off all of 
 Harriet's invitations to dinner, claiming to be busy with work. And when 
 Harriet came in Friday morning and saw Mac already at her desk, the dark 
 circles under eyes even more prevalent, she knew it was time to take action. 
 She waited until Bud and Mac were in a meeting with the Admiral before 
 marching into Bud's office to use the phone.
 
 "Grams, it's Harriet" she said when Grams answered.
 
 "Harriet, dear, how are you? Is everything okay with the baby?"
 
 "I'm fine" Harriet assured her. "The reason I'm calling is because I'm 
 worried about Mac."
 
 She didn't miss Gram's sigh on the other end. "I was afraid that's what you 
 were going to say. How is she?"
 
 "Grams, she's working herself like crazy. She's here early, leaves late. She 
 wouldn't come over to dinner and I know I hardly ever saw her leave for 
 lunch. Grams, I'm really worried about her. She's not taking care of herself 
 like she should."
 
 "Thank you for calling Harriet. I'll have a talk with Sarah when she gets 
 home tonight."
  
Grams tried to keep busy all day, but Harm and Mac were much on her mind.  
She knew how important good nutrition was early in the pregnancy, and she also 
knew that if anything happened to this baby, it might be the final blow that tore the 
two of them apart.  As for Harm, the week spent without Mac simply saw him slip 
deeper into his state of withdrawal.  He came home from rehab, poked at his food, 
talked to Mac by phone for a few brief minutes, and excused himself to his room.  
For the next several hours she could hear the TV as he watched one mindless 
show after another, or he would pace the long hallway in his restless state.

She was sitting on the porch when the O'Bannions dropped him off from rehab 
and greeted him with a warm hug.  "Grams Mac's not here," he gasped, looking 
under the tree where she always parked.  "Is she running late, or caught in traffic 
or what?"

"Harm slow down and take a breath," Grams smiled.  "She'll be here.  Harm you 
know yourself how long it takes, and Fridays is worse.  It's probably going to be 
another couple hours."

"Grams no," he shrieked, pulling away from her and hurrying as best he could to 
the side of the porch where he could make out the road that went by the farm.  
"No Grams you don't understand.  I called her at noon time today.  I had to hear 
her voice.  And she said she was finished in court and the Admiral had no problem 
with her leaving shortly.  She promised me she'd be here when I got back."  The 
effort of putting together so many words, coupled with his agitation, left him 
panting and Grams took his arm.

"Let's get you inside and sitting down, and then we'll call her cell phone and ask 
her how far along she is," Grams told him.  "You could use some ice tea I'm sure, 
and I need to check on the chicken."

"Grams something's wrong I'm telling you.  Something's bad wrong."  

She simply shook her head as she guided him in, mumbling about not borrowing 
trouble.  A few minutes later she handed him a glass of tea, the cordless phone 
and the TV remote.  "Watch the news, call your wife's cell phone and behave 
yourself," she ordered.  "Mac will likely tell you she's almost here, and if I don't get 
that dressing made you won't have any to slop gravy over."

Back in the kitchen she could hear the low murmur of the newscaster's voice as 
she deftly chopped celery and onion.  The peace lasted all of six minutes when 
Harm's ear splitting scream of "Grams come quick" shattered the quiet.

"Harmon what could be so..." Grams began as she reached him, leaning on the 
back of his chair.  

With a shaky hand he pointed to the TV screen, now showing a massive car pile 
up at Breezewood, where Mac would pick up the Pennsylvania Turnpike to come 
north east toward Belleville.  "I can't get her Grams on the...her phone...it just 
rings and then I get the mail--the voice mail thing.  I know she's in that 
somewhere.  She got that far and then that tractor trailer jackknifed and she's 
there someplace in that mess."

Grams rested her hand on the back of his head as she watched.  "I doubt that 
very much," she finally said, adding a little prayer under her breath that it she was 
right.  "But you know what, Sylvia Benson's son is a state trooper.  I bet she can 
get him to find out if a red car with DC plates was involved."

"Please yes," he breathed.  He started to hand the phone to Grams, and then 
impulsively dialed Mac's number once more.  "Just thought one more time might 
do it," he whispered.

Before the connection was made there was the crunch of tires in the driveway and 
Grams gave him a huge smile from her post at the counter.  "See you worried for 
nothing."

"Thank God," Harm smiled and got up, forsaking his cane as he hobbled to the 
front door.  "Grams it's not her," he gasped.  "It's Maggie and Josh and the kids."

"Oh my lord I completely lost sight of the fact they were due in," she sighed.  
"Which is really dumb considering the size of this bird here."  She quickly wiped 
her hands and hurried to the door, only to have the screen flung open by Mollie 
who was in her arms a second later.  "I'm so glad you all are here safely," she 
smiled over the top of Mollie's head.  "We're seeing the news about the accident 
at Breezewood.  Did you have trouble getting through there?"

"They've got one lane open," Josh said quietly, looking around.  "Mac's not here?"

"No why?" Harm gasped, seeing something in the man's expression that sent 
chills through him.

"Harm," Maggie spoke up, placing a hand on his arm.  "Harm the tractor trailer 
that jackknifed took out a small red car, crushed it when it toppled.  We couldn't 
see what kind."

"Oh god...oh god...no," he breathed, staggering backwards a couple steps until 
Josh's arm caught him. 

"We haven't been able to get Mac on her cell, and she should have been here by 
now if she left when she said she did," Grams explained, taking Harm's arm.  
"Josh, would you be sure Harm sits please.  I'm going to call Sylvia."

"Mama what's wrong?" Mollie whispered, looking up with her big trusting eyes.  
Brandon hung back, his keen mind taking in what was going on around him.  Josh 
walked Harm to his chair, Harm numbly allowing himself to be led.

"We're worried about Mac," Maggie explained as gently as possible.  "Because of 
the accident we saw."

In the kitchen Grams' low voice was explaining to Sylvia what they needed and 
when she hung up it was with her friend's promise to call her back once she got 
hold of her son.  

Josh returned for Brandon, taking hold of his shoulder to bring him into the front 
room.  The boy did not resist and Josh whispered a prayer that this was not yet 
another tragedy his young life would have to cope with.

"I don't know what else we can do except pray," Grams sighed, sitting on the arm 
of Harm's chair with her arm around his shoulders.  "And remember that there are 
thousands of small red cars in this state."

Harm squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, two tears were on his 
cheeks.  "Grams I've been such a jerk to her.  What if...what if she's gone and I 
haven't...Oh God please don't take her from me."


 "She's going to be fine Harm" Grams said softly. "But I hope that when you 
 see your wife again you remember just how much she means to you."
 
 Harm nodded and for the next ten minutes sat there silently as Grams talked 
 with Maggie and Josh. The ringing of the phone a short time later sent Grams 
 flying to the kitchen.
 
 "Hello" she said anxiously.
 
 "Grams, it's Sarah" Mac said tiredly.
 
 "Thank you Jesus" Grams whispered under breath. "Sarah honey, are you all 
 right? We've been worried sick about you."
 
 "I'm fine Grams" Mac replied. "Just really tired."
 
 "Grams is that Mac" Harm called as he pushed himself out of the chair. He 
 staggered to the kitchen, neither Josh nor Maggie sure he wanted the help.
 
 "Sarah, here's Harm" Grams said as she handed him the phone before pushing 
 him down into the chair next to the phone.
 
 "Mac" Harm said anxiously.  "Where are you? Are you okay?"
 
 "I'm okay" Mac assured him "I got caught in the accident. I was going to 
 call you and tell you but I forgot my cell phone. So I got off at the first 
 exit I could to call you but the line was busy. And then I realized I 
 couldn't get back on the turnpike from there, so I had to drive to the next 
 town to get back on."
 
 "Where are you now?"
 
 "Just outside of Belleville" Mac replied. "I needed to make a potty break 
 and I figured I'd try calling again."
 
 "Oh god, I was so afraid you were in the accident" Harms whispered. "I was 
 afraid…." He stopped as he tried to keep the tears at bay, not succeeding 
 entirely. "I was afraid I'd lost you."
 
 "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you" Mac said softly. "But I'm okay."
 
 "Sarah I'm so sorry. I have been so awful to you these past few weeks. If 
 anything had happened to you…" His voice broke off as he started to sob 
 softly.
 
 "Harm, it's okay" Mac whispered, her own tears falling as she heard his 
 tearful words. "Nothing happened. I'm fine and I'll be there in a little 
 bit."
 
 "I love you," he cried softly. "Please be careful."
 
 "I will be" Mac promised.
 
 He hung up and remained in the chair next to the phone until Grams came in a 
 few seconds later. "Harm" she said softly. "Honey, she's okay."
 
 "Grams what if something had happened to her?" Harm whispered.
 
 "Nothing happened to her" Grams soothed. "But do you realize now how hard it 
 was for her when you got hurt? First she didn't know if you were alive or 
 not. And then when they did find you, she didn't know if you were going to 
 be okay. She went through a lot Harm. And she still is."
 
 "And I'm not making it any easier for her" Harm finished guiltily.
 
 "You can change that you know" Grams smiled. "It's not too late. Now why 
 don't you go sit down? You've worn yourself out worrying about her."
 
 He stood up, staggering slightly and Grams put her arm around him as she 
 helped him back to the living room.
 
 "Is Mac okay?" Maggie asked.
 
 "She's okay," Harm said softly. "She should be here in a little bit."
 
 As predicted she was there a short time later, Mollie running out to meet 
 her before Maggie could stop her.
 
 "Hey you" Mac smiled tiredly as she her a hug. She looked up to see Harm 
 coming out onto the front porch, his worry for her evident on his face.
 
 "Harm was worried about you" Mollie reported. "Mama told him about the 
 accident and he thought you got hurt."
 
 "I'm fine" Mac assured the little girl.
 
 "Mollie come on inside" Maggie called, knowing Harm and Mac needed some 
time 
 alone.
 
 "I'll be in in a minute," Mac said to Mollie. "Go on."
 
 Mollie ran back into the house and Mac walked slowly to the porch.
 
 "Sarah" Harm whispered as she stepped on to the porch. "Oh god Sarah, I was 
 so scared I'd lost you. When Maggie said that a red car had been involved in 
 the accident, all I could think was I'd lost you."
 
 "Shh, it's okay" Mac soothed as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm okay, 
 you didn't lose me."
 
 "I don’t deserve you but I'm so glad I have still you" Harm cried. "I've 
 been so awful to you these past few weeks. I don’t know why you stay with 
 me…"
 
 "I stay with you because I love you" Mac said softly. "I'll always love you 
 Harm. I will never leave you."
 
 "And I'll never leave you" Harm whispered. "I'm going to try harder, Sarah. 
 I promise. I don't want to take this out on you like I have been."
 
 "That's what I want to hear sailor" Mac smiled. "I want the Harmon Rabb I 
 know and love to fight this. With the same tenacity that you've fought 
 everything else."
 
 "Come on, let's get you inside" Harm said softly. He finally pulled away and 
 looked at her closely. He'd been so happy to see her at first that he hadn't 
 noticed her haggard appearance.  "Mac, are you okay?" he asked anxiously. 
 "You don't look so good."
 
 "I'm just tired and hungry" she assured him. "Come on, I want to say hi to 
 Maggie and Josh." She wrapped her arm around his waist and they headed 
 inside.
 
 "Sarah, honey, are you okay?" Grams asked as she looked at her 
 granddaughter, remembering Harriet's earlier call.
 
 "Yes I'm fine" Mac assured her. "Maggie, Josh, it's good to see you. Sorry I 
 got caught up."
 
 "We're just glad you're okay," Maggie said giving her friend a hug. She gave 
 Grams a worried look as she too noticed how pale and tired Mac looked.
 
 "Well, let's all sit down and get some dinner" Grams ordered. "You must all 
 be starving by now."

"Yes ma'am," Josh grinned and picked up Mollie to carry her laughingly to the 
table.  Maggie followed with Brandon, Harm coming along with his slow one sided 
gait.  Mac held back a moment, watching Harm and it was that hesitancy that 
Grams took advantage of.  

"Sarah it's been a long week for you hasn't it?" 

"Yes ma'am," Mac nodded, resisting any urge to cry for the moment.  "I've been 
so behind at work, trying to keep a handle on everything, and then of course so 
worried about Harm."

"I want you and me to have a walk and a talk right after Maggie and Josh leave," 
Grams told her.  "It's important."

"Yes ma'am."

Harm had his arms open for Mac when she reached the table and she eagerly 
dropped into his embrace.  "Grams I'd like to ask the blessing please."

Grams nodded and Harm stood slowly, then took Mac's hand on one side and 
Brandon's on the other.  "Heavenly father for this food before us and for the 
company of family and friends, make us truly thankful.  And Father, for allowing 
this woman to be here tonight, for not taking her from me, I am forever grateful.  
Amen."

Mac squeezed his hand tightly and dinner began.

"People I hate to eat and run, but we've still got two hours to drive," Josh said as 
soon as dessert was finished.  "Grams I hope you know how much we appreciate 
your offering your home to these hooligans.  I know you'll make them behave."

"I'm not in the least concerned," she smiled.  "You two just have a great time and 
we'll see you Sunday night some time.  Drive real safe now."

Goodbyes were exchanged all around and they watched Josh and Maggie drive 
off from the porch.  "Harm, I'm going to borrow your wife for about fifteen minutes," 
Grams said firmly, "while you supervise the kids getting the dishes under control 
please."

"Something wrong?" he asked, his concern high at once.

"Just woman stuff," Grams smiled.  "By the time we've come back you'll have the 
dishes done and they can catch fireflies.  Harm fix jars for them will you please."

Grams looped her arm though Mac's, leading her off the porch before she could 
begin to object.  

"Is this about Harm?" Mac asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Actually no not at all," Grams answered.  "This is about you.  And about a baby 
you're carrying, and about you not taking care of yourself."

"Oh," Mac replied in a small voice.  "You're going to lecture me."

"I'm going to care about you," Grams corrected, leading her down the path that led 
to the grape arbor and encouraging her to sit.  "Sarah when you get ready for bed 
tonight I want you to take a good close look at yourself."

"I look bad don't I," she sighed.

"You look exhausted and malnourished," Grams responded.  "Neither of which are 
good for that baby that's trying to grow inside you.  Now what's going on?"

"Nothing---and everything," Mac answered.  "There's nothing really wrong, but 
nothing is right either.  I mean Harm is going to be fine soon as he finishes rehab, 
and I'm thrilled to be pregnant, and yet...well nothing seems as it should be 
either."

"Harmon is not making this any easier I know, with his attitude," Grams nodded, 
"but Sarah you can't tell me that you're eating right and sleeping, because the 
evidence that you're not is as plain as the nose on my face."

"No ma'am.  But yeah sometimes...well like tonight I ate.  You saw me."

"I saw you take a tiny slice of chicken breast, a spoonful of peas and dressing, no 
potatoes or gravy, and a lone biscuit.  Then you proceeded to push that around on 
your plate and by the time dessert was served you were pronouncing yourself 
full," Grams corrected her.  "You ate at most two or three bites of each."

"Guilty," she admitted suddenly, and the tears that had been just below the 
surface all night were in evidence now.  "Grams when I eat the food lumps in my 
throat.  And if I do get it into my stomach, it lumps there.  It just lays there and 
doesn't digest."

Grams nodded.  "And what about rest?  How much sleep do you get?"

"I've never been able to sleep more than a few hours a night, until we married and 
I slept in Harm's arms," she smiled softly.  "But now, sleeping alone again, it's just 
not happening.  And when I do drop off, from exhaustion, I have the most horrible 
dreams.  I relive that whole nightmare.  From being told the plane was missing, to 
finding Harm lying on the ground, to the coma--and it's to the point where I try not 
to fall asleep so I don't have to.  Living with the reality is bad enough.  I don't need 
dreams to expound on it."

"The reality of Harm's limitations?"

"See that's just it," she protested.  "When I look at him, all I see is the man I 
married.  His limp, and his speech, I don't even notice.  In fact if it didn't upset him 
so much I wouldn't notice at all."

"Because you love him," Grams nodded.  "And you'd wish he would accept his 
limitations?"

"No, not so he doesn't give up trying to get back to one hundred percent, but yes 
in that he stops making that recovery the focal point of his life," she answered 
honestly.  "I mean we have so much.  Each other, our love, this baby, more babies 
to come."  She was quiet for a long minute and then added, "Grams if he would be 
willing, in a heartbeat I'd quit JAG, and move up here, and start our dream in 
motion.  Rabb and Rabb, attorneys at law.  This baby being born, and then 
another and another until we have a house full.  And we get the farm up and 
running full speed again while we he does most of the law and I'm active in PTA 
and church and volunteer at the kids' school and I'm there for them when they get 
off the bus at the end of the day and..."  Words ended and tears started.  Grams 
put her arms around her granddaughter-in-law at once.

"And what does Harm say?"

"That all that is on hold," she sobbed.  "He's not so opposed to the idea as he 
can't stand the notion that something has been taken away from him again--that 
the change would not be his choice, like leaving flying wasn't, either time."

"He's got a lot of adjustment to make," Grams reminded her, "and remember he 
doesn't even know for sure what he's got to adjust to--not until he knows how far 
back he can come."

"I know," she sniffled.  "I know too that God is not going to throw anything to us we 
can't handle.  At least that's what Pastor Jacob tells me."

"Try to hold that thought child," Grams encouraged.  "Now let's talk about the most 
immediate problem.  What we're going to do to get you to take better care of 
yourself."

"It's not that I don't want to," she sniffled again.  "But eating and resting are my 
two hardest things right now."

"What's most important to you right now?" Grams asked gently.

"Harm.  Having my Harm back, and that has nothing to do with what happened to 
him.  I want the spirit of Harmon Rabb back," she sighed and added quickly, her 
hands resting on her belly, "and that this baby be healthy."

"Bingo," Grams smiled.  "And while your taking care of yourself doesn't impact 
Harm directly, well in a way it does.  He doesn't need worry about you.  But 
mostly, this baby is like a lifeline between you two right now.  Sarah honey you're 
both just hanging on by a mere thread.  I'm positive it's going to get better; but 
until then, the tie that's holding you two together is what's growing inside you.  The 
hope for the future.  If anything happened to that baby, well I'm not sure--given the 
way things are right now, that there would be a future."

Mac drew a sharp breath followed by a quick burst of tears and Grams 
immediately hugged her.  "I'm sorry honey, sorry that I upset you and scared you, 
but that's what I wanted to do.  I wanted your attention."

"I think you've gotten it," she whispered, burying her head in Gram's shoulder.  
"Please I want to go back and see Harm now."
===================================
Harmon Rabb, aviator turned lawyer, was at that moment sitting on the porch 
playing Old Maid with Brandon and Mollie.  "You planned that," Brandon shrieked 
as he pulled the Old Maid card from Mollie's hand, a flash of anger on his face and 
Harm reached over to ruffle his hair.  

"I doubt that, but if she did, you should be saying well done."

"Nah, she's not that smart," Brandon glared and Mollie giggled.

"Harm here comes Grams and Mac," Mollie squealed.

"Good talk?" Harm asked anxiously, searching both their faces.

"Yes, and now it's your turn," Grams smiled, taking the cards from him and 
handing him his cane from the back of his chair.  "Go on now."

Harm rose and took the cane, kissing Gram's cheek as he passed, and with Mac's 
awaiting arms to help, negotiated the porch steps.  

"Kissing, ick," Brandon groaned suddenly and Grams turned to find her grandson 
and his wife locked in a loving embrace.  It was times like that when she could 
believe it was all going to be all right.


 


 "So what did you and Grams talk about?" Harm asked once they were upstairs.
 
 "My turn for a lecture" Mac smiled. "She's concerned about her great 
 grandchild."
 
 "She's not the only one" Harm said as he sat down on the edge of the bed, 
 pulling her down with him. "Mac, you have to start taking care of yourself." 
 She started to open her mouth and he quickly silenced her with a finger to 
 her lips. "Let me finish please." She nodded and he took a deep breath 
 before continuing. "I know I haven't made this easy for you. I guess….."he 
 stopped and reached for her hand…"I guess I wanted you to hurt as much as 
 I'm hurting. And I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you these past few 
 weeks. If anything had happened to you tonight.." he stopped again as he 
 looked deep into the eyes of the woman he loved more than anything else…"If 
 anything had happened, I wouldn't have wanted to live."
 
 "Now you know how I felt" Mac whispered. "Harm, I almost did lose you. And I 
 felt the same way. That my life wouldn’t have been worth living if you 
 weren't with me. But you still are and we have a child on the way. And we 
 can still make all those dreams we had come true."
 
 "I'm going to try Mac" Harm promised softly. "I'm going to try so much 
 harder. I can't promise that I won't have moments where I'm so frustrated 
 that I want to scream, but I'm going to try not to take them out on you. And 
 I want you to promise me that you are going to start taking care of you and 
 our baby."
 
 "I wasn't sure you cared about our baby" Mac admitted.
 
 "I didn't want to care" Harm whispered. "Because I'm afraid I'm not going to 
 be able to be the father it deserves."
 
 "Harm don't ever say that. You will be a wonderful father. I know you will 
 be."
 
 "You have so much more faith that I do Sarah Rabb" Harm whispered as he 
 pulled her against him.
 
 "Harm, we'll get through this" Mac whispered. "Somehow, someway we have to. 
 Our baby needs both of us. We have to get through this."
 
 "Come on, let's get you into bed."
 
 For the first time in a week, Mac slept. In the arms of the man she loved, 
 she was finally able to find the peace to sleep. There were no tormenting 
 nightmares, just the wonderful sound of the even breathing of the man she 
 loved sleeping next to her.
 
 **********************************************
 Grams was making breakfast for Mollie and Brandon when Harm and Mac finally 
 meandered down.
 
 "Looks like someone got some much needed rest" Grams smiled as she looked 
at 
 Mac. "How you feeling Sarah?"
 
 "I'm fine, Grams" Mac assured her. "And yes I finally got some sleep."
 
 "Well, sit down and grab a plate" Grams ordered. "I've got pancakes and 
 sausage and I want to see you eat up good. You too Harmon. And yes I know, 
 no sausage for you."
 
 "Thanks Grams" Harm said as he maneuvered his way to the table to grab a 
 plate.
 
 "So what are you two up for today?" Mac asked Mollie and Brandon after she'd 
 filled her plate up. "Ready to do some exploring?"
 
 "Yes Yes" Mollie said enthusiastically.
 
 "After you eat up" Grams ordered and Mollie smiled as she downed the last of 
 her pancake.
 
 "Harm, are you going to come with us?" Brandon asked.
 
 "I wish I could buddy" Harm said quietly. "But you're going to have to trust 
 the Marine to take you on this hike."
 
 Brandon's look of disappointment was nothing compared to Harms. He wanted so 
 much to be able to take the kids on the hike with Mac. But there was no way 
 he could handle it.
 
 The phone rang and Gram quickly reached for it.
 
 "Hello…Yes Harriet dear, how are you?….we're all fine here….Mollie and 
 Brandon are spending the weekend…would we mind a few more for the day?" 
She 
 looked at Harm, trying to gauge whether or not he could handle the company. 
 He nodded slightly and Grams gave him a smile. "Of course we'd love to see 
 you and Bud and little AJ. Come on up….We'll see you in a few hours then."
 
 "Looks like you're little friend is coming up for a visit" Grams said to 
 Mollie and Brandon, remembering how much they'd enjoyed little AJ at 
 Christmas.
 
 "I like AJ" Mollie announced. "Can he go on the hike with us?"
 
 "Well it's going to be a couple hours before they get here sweetie" Mac 
 replied. "Once we all get some breakfast in us and we spend a little time 
 with Grams and Harm we're going to head off. But I'm sure we can take him 
 for a small walk later."
 
 "He's too small to go anyway, right?" Mollie asked. "He's not big enough 
 like me and Brandon."
 
 "No he's not" Mac smiled.
 
 Following breakfast, Grams shooed Mollie and Brandon outside to run around 
 and play, giving Harm and Mac a little more quiet time.
 
 "You okay?" Mac asked as she led him to the back porch so he could watch 
 Mollie and Brandon.
 
 "Yeah, just wishing I could go with you" Harm sighed. "If only…." he started 
 and then stopped. "I'm sorry, I promised I wasn't going to take this out on 
 you."
 
 "You're not, you're just telling me how you feel," Mac said softly. "I can't 
 imagine how hard it is to sit by and watch everyone do everything around 
 you. But you just have to remember that this isn't permanent. That one day 
 you'll be able to do all this."
 
 "I hope so," Harm said softly. "I really hope so."
 
 An hour later Mac gathered the kids for the hike.
 
 "Now you two listen to Mac" Harm said firmly. "No running off ahead of her. 
 You stick close to her."
 
 Two heads bobbed up and down in agreement and Harm gave Mac one last kiss.
 
 "Be careful honey" he whispered as he wrapped his arm around her. "You know 
 I love you."
 
 "I love you too" Mac smiled. "We'll be fine." She looked down at Mollie and 
 Brandon. "Are the troops ready to move out?"
 
 "Yes ma'am" they said in unison.
 
 "See I told you they'd make good Marines" Mac grinned as they headed off.
 
 He stood on the porch, not moving from his spot until they were no longer 
 visible. Grams joined him, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder.
 
 "Grams she shouldn't be going alone" Harm said quietly. "I should be with 
 her."
 
 "Harm, she'll be okay. Now come on inside with me until Bud and Harriet get 
 here."

"I think I'll just sit here for a bit," he sighed, staring at the place in the trees through 
which they had disappeared.

"Harm all they're doing is taking a long walk on the mountain trail like Mollie and 
Brandon were dying to do," Grams reminded him.

"Mountain lions."

"Excuse me?"

"Mountain lions."

"OK that's it.  You are certifiable Harmon Rabb.  There have not been cougars in 
these mountains since I was a child.  The farmers hunted them all down.  Now I 
am going to do some sewing for the church.  I'd love the company, but if you want 
to sit here, well at least you're enjoying some fresh air."  She patted his shoulder 
before leaving him alone with his thoughts.
=======================================
"Mac is Harm going to be OK?"  Mollie had been chattering away for the whole of 
the two hours they had been walking, about her friends, about the end of school, 
summer plans, a boy she liked; but these were the first words Brandon spoke.  
Mac smiled and shook her head.  The serious one of the two.  And events of the 
past six months had conspired to make him grow up much too soon.

"Let's take a break," Mac panted, lowering herself to the nearest rock.  The boy 
stood nearby, awaiting her answer, his gaze intently fixed on her, reminding her of 
Harm when he was staring down a witness.  "Brandon Harm is already all right," 
she assured him.  "He's not going to get worse, and yeah we hope that his leg and 
arm will get better someday.  But if it doesn't--well that's OK too.  He's alive and 
that's what's important."

"He almost died," Brandon whispered.

"He did," Mac agreed sadly, her arm around the thin shoulders.  "But he didn't.  He 
didn't because God sent him back to be with us.  His time on Earth was not over.  
And I'm sure God is not finished with him yet."

"I just want him to like me," Brandon sighed.

"Oh honey he does," Mac smiled.  "But right now everything is hard for him.  
Sometimes he's not sure he likes even me.  It's going to be OK I promise.  This is 
all going to work out."

Brandon nodded and walked away, his sign that he was through talking for the 
moment and wanted some time to think.  

"Guys ready?"  Mac called after a few minutes.

"I want to go up higher on the mountain," Brandon said, "could we?  Like that way 
there?  Where does that go?"  He pointed through the trees to an old dirt road, 
hardly more than a path.

"Grams says the mountains are covered with old logging roads, where they used 
to cut trees and haul them down with horses," Mac explained, checking her watch 
for the time.  "Sure we can walk that way a little ways and see if we don't get a 
good view.  And we'll have our sandwiches and juice when we stop again."

They started off again, and the road quickly turned steep as it lead up the 
mountain.  An hour passed and she realized they were nearing the peak.  "Guys 
let's sit," she panted, alarmed at how short of breath she was suddenly becoming.  
"Let's sit and have something to drink and maybe one of the sandwiches Grams 
packed."

"Mac are you OK?" Brandon asked when he came over to her. "You look really 
funny.  You're all white, except there's two real red spots on your cheeks."

"I just need to catch my breath," she nodded, touched by the child's concern.  She 
handed out sandwiches and juice and there was silence save the sounds of 
munching.  A few bites into her sandwich and her stomach began to roll.  As 
quickly as she could so as not to alarm the children she moved away from them, 
letting the illness have its way.

"Mac what's wrong?" Mollie squealed as soon as she realized what she was 
doing.

"I'm OK honey, just having a little morning sickness," she gasped, hoping that was 
all it was since in fact she had experienced virtually none since the inception of 
her pregnancy.  She stood up slowly, praying it was finished, and focused on the 
children, wanting desperately to reassure them as she saw their frightened looks.

"It's OK honest.  I think I'm just a little..."  Her words failed her as her vision 
dimmed and the world began to spin.  The last conscious memory was of Mollie 
screaming............

"Brandon what are we going to do?" Mollie whispered a long half hour later.  
"She's not going to wake up.  She's not.  What if she's dead?"

"She's not dead.  Dead people don't breathe," Brandon scoffed.  "But I don't know 
what we can do.  We can't make her get up and walk."

"And we're lost up here," she whispered, tears now on her cheeks.

"We are not.  Girls." He groaned.  "I know just how we got here and just how to 
get back.  What I don't know is how we can get Mac back.  We can't carry her."

"You're going to have to go get Harm," Mollie told him, her eyes huge.  "And I'll 
stay here with Mac."

"You can't stay here," he shook his head.  "You can't stay here by yourself.  You'll 
be too scared."

"I know," she answered solemnly.  "I'm already scared, but you need to get her 
some help.  You won't get lost will you?"

"No way," he scoffed again. "This road goes down to the trail where we sat and 
talked about Harm and that path goes right down the mountain to the road that 
runs in front of the house."

"Then go.  Now." She gave him a quick push.  "I'm going to stay here and take 
care of Mac."

"OK.  I'll run.  It won't take half as long as when we walked up here with you being 
so slow."

Before she could answer he had scrambled to his feet and was running back the 
way they had come.
================================
Rabb Farm
1 Hour Later.

"Grams they're here," Harm called.  He had not moved from his chair on the 
porch, dozing in the afternoon sun.  

Baby AJ wasted no time in greeting Harm.  As soon as he was released from his 
car seat, he was up the steps and throwing himself at him.  Harm picked him up, 
transferring him to his good arm as soon as he was able.  Bud helped Harriet from 
the car.  At five months along she had taken on a pleasant roundness, but was not 
yet awkward.

"Welcome," Grams smiled from the doorway as she watched her grandson being 
greeted by two of his best friends as he held his godchild.  Sometimes life was 
good.

 "I think AJ missed you" Harriet smiled at Harm. He looked so natural holding 
 a child and she made a mental note to ask Grams if she'd talked to Mac.  "I 
 know we sure have. How you doing Harm?"
 
 "I'm here" Harm said as she wrapped her arm around him for a hug. "How are 
 you and the next little Roberts doing?"
 
 "We're fine" Harriet assured him. "Where's Mac and the kids?"
 
 "They went for a hike" Grams chimed in. "Though I expect them back any time 
 now. Harriet, come on inside with me and we'll get some iced tea for 
 everyone." Harriet nodded and followed Grams inside, leaving Harm and Bud 
 alone with little AJ.
 
 "Grams did you talk to Mac?" Harriet asked once they were inside.
 
 "Yes dear, and thank you for calling and warning me" Grams replied. "She's 
 not doing it on purpose but with everything that's been going on she just 
 hasn’t been worrying about herself. "
 
 "Are they okay?" Harriet asked.
 
 "So far" Grams sighed. "I'm not sure how much more either of them can take 
 though. Their love is being tested right now. More so than either of them 
 ever imagined."
 
 "I know that feeling" Harriet said with a small smile. "After I lost Sarah, 
 and then the malpractice trial, I wasn't sure how Bud was going to be. 
 Somehow we made it through and so will Harm and Mac."
 
 "I hope so" Grams replied.
 
 The sound of a small voice yelling "Harm" cut through the afternoon quiet 
 and Grams and Harriet both went out front to look. Brandon was running 
 towards the house, yelling Harm's name as he went. Harm handed little AJ to 
 Bud and started down the porch steps, intercepting Brandon in the driveway.
 
 "Brandon, what's wrong?" Harm asked anxiously, though somewhere in his mind 
 he knew it was Mac. Something had happened to her. He knew he shouldn't have 
 let her go alone.
 
 "It's Mac" the little boy said breathlessly. "She's sick. Real bad."
 
 "Brandon, tell me what happened" Harm ordered.
 
 "We were hiking at the top of the mountain over there" Brandon said pointing 
 to where he'd just come from. "And Mac was looking kinda funny. She was all 
 white. And then she threw up and then she went to sleep."
 
 "Went to sleep?" Harm questioned, before suddenly realizing what he meant. 
 "Oh god, you mean she passed out."
 
 "Yeah that's it. And I didn't know what else to do so I left Mollie with her 
 so I could come and get you and you could help her. She's going to be okay 
 isn't she?"
 
 "Harm, what's going on?" Grams asked as she and Harriet made their way out. 
 "Where's Mac and Mollie?"
 
 "Mac passed out somewhere up on the mountain" Harm replied. "I've got to go 
 get her. Brandon you have to take me to where you left Mac and Mollie" Harm 
 ordered.
 
 "I'll go with you" Bud offered immediately and handed little AJ to Harriet. 
 "How far is it Brandon?"
 
 "We're way at the top" Brandon replied. "We took some path up."
 
 "The old logging road" Grams said quickly and Harm nodded as he remembered 
 the old trail he used to follow. "Bud, you can probably drive part of the 
 way up. But once the path ends you'll have to walk the rest of the way in."
 
 "Come on Bud" Harm urged as he headed towards his SUV. Bud gave Harriet a 
 quick kiss and hurried after Harm, taking the keys from him and helping him 
 in.
 
 "I'd better call Doc Weaver" Grams said quietly.
 
 "Grams you don't think she lost the baby do you?" Harriet whispered as she 
 pulled little AJ closer to her.
 
 "I'm praying that's not the case child" Grams said as she put an arm around 
 Harriet.
 
 "Oh Grams" Harriet wailed softly. "I don’t know if they could survive losing 
 the baby."
 
 **********************************************
 
 "Bud, you can go faster than this" Harm shouted.  "Come on."
 
 "Harm, if I go any faster we're not going to get back down" Bud replied. 
 "This isn't exactly a road here. We'll get to her and she's going to be 
 fine."
 
 "Oh God, what if she lost the baby" Harm whispered as the horrible thought 
 crossed his mind.
 
 "Don't even think it" Bud said sharply, though the same thought had crossed 
 his mind as well. And after everything else Harm and Mac had been through, 
 he wasn’t sure they could handle losing the baby. He and Harriet had only 
 survived it because they'd been able to be strong for each other.
 
 "Harm you said Mac was going to be okay" Brandon said in a frightened voice 
 from the back seat. "She is isn't she? Did I do something wrong by leaving 
 her?"
 
 "No Brandon, you did the right thing" Bud spoke up before Harm could. "And 
 Mac is going to be just fine. She probably just over did it is all."
 
 "It's my fault" Brandon wailed. "I wanted to go to the top of the mountain."
 
 "Brandon, it's not your fault" Harm said gently as he turned around to face 
 the little boy.
 
 "I'm sorry Harm" Brandon cried. "I want Mac and the baby to be okay."
 
 "And they will be" Harm said softly, at the same time uttering a silent 
 prayer above that that would be the case.
 
 "End of the line" Bud said a short time later. "How much further Brandon?"
 
 "Up there" Brandon pointed as he climbed out.
 
 "Harm, I think you should wait here" Bud said quietly. "That looks like 
 pretty rough terrain and.."
 
 "And you don't think I can handle it" Harm shouted, realizing he was being 
 unreasonable but at the same time not caring. The woman he loved was laying 
 up there and all he wanted to do was get to her.
 
 "Harm I'm sorry" Bud sighed. "But if I can't help both you and her back 
 down. Please wait here."
 
 "I am not helpless" Harm retorted. "I can manage on my own."
 
 "With all due respect sir, I can get to her a lot faster without you" Bud 
 said quietly.
 
 "Go" Harm said quietly as he leaned back against the SUV, Bud's words 
 finally sinking in. Bud was right. He could get to Mac a lot faster without 
 him slowing them down.
 
 "Brandon, come on and show me where you left them" Bud ordered and the 
 little boy hurried ahead.
 
 "Please Sarah, be okay" Harm whispered as he the pair faded out of sight. He 
 opened the door to the SUV and sat back down in the seat, suddenly 
 exhausted.  Mac had to be okay. And the baby. He felt tears well up as he 
 realized Mac might have lost the baby. She'd be devastated. As would he. And 
 it would be his fault. He was the one who'd pushed her away. If he hadn't 
 been so concerned with himself, he would have noticed sooner that she wasn't 
 taking care of herself. "Dear Lord, please let them be okay" Harm cried 
 softly, a few tears sliding down his face.
 
 "Mollie" Brandon yelled as he and Bud hurried towards her. The little girl 
 looked up from where she was sitting beside Mac, jumping to her feet at the 
 sight of Bud and Brandon.

"Bud Hi," Mollie squealed loudly and jumped into his arms.  "I can't wake Mac up."

"I know sweetie I know," Bud nodded and set Mollie down.  "Brandon, you did a 
good job getting us here."  With his breath held he leaned over Mac, afraid to look 
at first, and then with a shaking arm reached to check her pulse and breathing.  
Finding both there, he again drew in a sharp breath, wanting to check for any 
signs that she might have miscarried.  Mercifully there was no blood.

"She's OK isn't she?" Mollie gasped tearfully, "her and the baby?"

"I think so," Bud nodded.  "Let me have some of that water honey."

Bud cupped his hand and poured water into it, wiping her face and pressing his 
wet palm to her forehead.  "Mac it's Bud.  I want you to wake up now.  Mollie and 
Brandon are here with me.  And Harm is waiting for you.  Come on Mac, you don't 
want to get Harm upset.  I want you to wake up.  Harm is waiting--Harm."

That word coupled with the water did seem to reach her.  She moaned and stirred, 
her eyes opening slightly.  "Harm?"

"Not quite.  It's Bud," he said softly.  "But Harm's waiting for you back down the 
road.  Tell me how to help you.  Are you hurting anywhere?  The baby?"

"I'm OK I think," she mumbled.  "I don't know what happened."

"You puked and then you just fell on the ground," Brandon told her from where he 
was squatting nearby.

"I sort of remember," she sighed.  "But how did...Bud what are you doing here?"

"We brought AJ up for the day to see you guys," he grinned.  "And then Brandon 
came and got us.  And right now you have a pretty upset husband waiting for you.  
Ready to face him?"

"Yeah I am but...wait...Brandon you went all the way back down to the farm by 
yourself?"

"Yeah I did," the boy grinned proudly.  "See Mollie I told you I could do it."

"Well go do something else," Bud ordered.  "Go back to the car and tell Harm Mac 
is OK.  Take Mollie with you.  We'll be right along behind you."

"Yes sir," Brandon yelped and took off running.

"Quite a kid," Bud grinned, helping Mac to her feet.  "You're not going to pass out 
on me now are you?  Do I need to carry you?"

"I think I'm OK," she said softly, suddenly now aware of the pounding in her head.  
"Not that I feel great.  Harm's pretty upset I'm sure."

"He'll get over it--once he sees you," he smiled.  "Now come on, lean on me as 
much as you need to.  I've got you."
==================================
"Harm Harm Harm."  The shout echoed through the trees and Harm pushed 
himself up off the SUV at the sound of Brandon's voice.

"Brandon here," he called sharply.  "You guys found her didn't you?  Where is 
she?  Where is Bud?  She's all right isn't she?"

"She was talking when we left," Mollie supplied quickly when Brandon stopped to 
take a breath.

"Talking really?" he gasped in relief.  "Then she's OK?"

"She was talking to Bud," Brandon added.  "I told her I came and got him and 
you."  

"Thank you Jesus," Harm breathed and picked up his cane.  "OK let's us three 
start walking to meet them.
======================================
It was slow going and Harm was panting with the effort before they had gone a 
quarter mile, but a minute later they were rewarded with the sight of Mac and Bud 
in the distance.

"There they are," Mollie yelled and waved, and Harm tried to quicken his pace.

"Sarah," he called when she was more in sight.

"Someone you know?" Bud asked her with a short laugh.

"Yeah I think he belongs to me," she smiled, ignoring her aching head as she 
pulled away from Bud and began a halting run toward him.

"Sarah," he whispered when she was near, the low voice easily carrying to her.  
And in that voice was all the love and longing he felt for her.

"Harm," she managed just before he threw down the cane and caught her in his 
arms.  For a long minute they simply clung together, supporting each other while 
Bud kept a firm hand on each of them.

"Mac what happened?" he asked quietly, stepping back from her.  "You didn't...I 
mean the baby is..?"

"The baby's fine I'm sure," she sighed.  "I don't know.  I just got sick all of a 
sudden.  And then I couldn't move and everything got dark.  Next thing is Bud 
waking me up, telling me my husband is upset."

"Oh I was beyond upset, heading for about to lose it," he whispered.  "For the 
second time in twenty-four hours I was afraid you were gone from my life."

"Well you don't seem like you're doing any too well there yourself Squid," she 
observed, feeling him leaning on her as much as she was leaning on him."

"I think we need to get you both back to the farm," Bud put in firmly.  "I just don't 
know who to take back to the car first."

"Well go together I think," Harm decided.  "I'm not ready to let go of her just yet."

"Nor me him," she smiled.

Under Bud's watchful eye they reached the SUV with slow but steady progress.  
Bud helped Harm into the back and then Mac in her turn with him.  His arms went 
out for her at once, cuddling her upper body against him.

"I'm sorry I scared you," she said, softly stroking his cheek, her fingers gently 
passing over the small worry lines.

"It's OK now," he assured her, "but I want to know what happened to you.  When 
was the last time you saw the doctor?"

She looked blank and then sheepish.  "I haven't.  Harm there's just been so 
much..."

"Marine that is not acceptable," he exploded so loudly that Brandon and Mollie 
looked back in alarm.

"Hey don't worry about it," Mac smiled at them.  "I'm just getting my daily lecture--
another country heard from."

"And you're going to keep hearing about it.  You have not been looking after 
yourself."

"Thank you," Bud put in.  "Sir--ma'am....uh Harm, Mac--this is all I've heard from 
Harriet all week too.  How worried she is about you.  Harm you can stop worrying.  
Monday afternoon when Mac gets back, Harriet and I will haul her to Harriet's OB.  
She's great."

"Thank you," Harm sighed and looked to Mac, daring her to argue.  

"Yes sirs," she sighed and folded herself more deeply into his embrace for the ride 
back to the farmhouse. 

 Back at the farmhouse Grams and Harriet were both doing their own pacing as 
 they waited anxiously for sight of the SUV. A small pickup truck pulled in a 
 few minutes later and Grams ran out to meet Doc Weaver.
 
 "Where's the patient Sarah?" Judd Weaver asked.
 
 "We're still waiting for them Judd" Grams said anxiously. "They should be 
 down any minute now."
 
 As she spoke, the SUV suddenly came into sight and a few seconds later was 
 pulling up in front of the house. Bud hurried out from the driver's side to 
 help Harm and Mac. Mollie and Brandon jumped out first, and Grams and Judd 
 headed over to help Bud.
 
 "Sarah, thank goodness" Grams said when she saw Mac. "Child you are going to 
 give this old woman a heart attack yet."
 
 "Sorry Grams" Mac said with a weak smile as she climbed out of the SUV, Bud 
 and Judd each putting an arm around to support her.
 
 "Let's get you inside" Grams said taking one of Mac's arms from Bud so he 
 could assist Harm who was attempting to make his way out of the SUV.
 
 "Mac, are you okay?" Harriet asked worriedly as she opened the door to the 
 house to let them in. "It's not the baby is it?"
 
 "No, I think it's just me" Mac replied. "I'm really sorry I worried all you 
 guys."
 
 "Well we're going to let Doc Weaver take a look at you just to be sure 
 you're okay" Grams said as they made their way up the stairs.
 
 "Give me a few minutes with the young lady, Sarah" Judd said once they had 
 Mac upstairs in the bedroom. "And stop your worrying. One patient at a time 
 is all I need."
 
 Grams nodded and hurried back downstairs, an anxious Harm wanting to get to 
 Mac.
 
 "I've got Doc Weaver looking at her" Grams told Harm as Bud helped into the 
 living to rest, Harriet trailing after him with the kids. "And while he's 
 doing that you can rest for a few minutes. You're not looking to healthy 
 yourself."
 
 "Well you're not the only one who's going to have a heart attack if she 
 doesn't start taking care of herself" Harm sighed tiredly. "Grams did you 
 know that she hasn't gone to the doctor yet?"
 
 "What?" Harriet shouted. "You're kidding right? I need to have a serious 
 talk with her."
 
 "After I do" Grams fretted. "I should have been paying more attention to 
 what she was doing. I didn't event think about her not going to the doctor."
 
 "Well that is going to be corrected real soon" Harm replied. "When Mac is in 
 DC this week, Harriet, I want you to make sure she gets to a doctor."
 
 "You can be sure of that," Harriet said determinedly. "Even if we have to 
 drag her there kicking and screaming."
 
 It was but a few minutes before Judd Weaver came back down stairs, Harm 
 pushing himself to his feet immediately.
 
 "How is she?" Harm demanded.
 
 "Exhausted and malnourished to begin with. Which I don't quite understand 
 since everyone knows Sarah Rabb is the best cook in Belleville. How anyone 
 could be staying with her and not eat, well I just don't understand. But I 
 suspect she over did herself today and that the air was a little too thin 
 for her at the top of the peak. I suggest she stay in bed and get some rest 
 for at least today."
 
 "Is the baby okay?" Harm asked anxiously.
 
 "The baby is fine" Judd assured him. "However, your wife needs to start 
 eating for two. She's very underweight for a woman at her stage of 
 pregnancy. She did tell me that she hasn't been to see a doctor since she 
 found out she was pregnant. I trust you'll be remedying that real quick."
 
 "Yes sir" Harm replied. "So she's really okay?"
 
 "She'll be fine" Judd smiled. "Not that I can say the same for you if you 
 don't relax there young man. I know you're worried about her but giving 
 yourself a stroke ain't going to do her any good."
 
 "She means a lot to me" Harm said sheepishly and Judd smiled.
 
 "I know that son. She'll be fine. She just needs to start taking care of 
 herself a little better. But I think she'd like to see you so you'd better 
 head on up."
 
 "I'll help you" Harriet said as Harm headed for the stairs.
 
 "Let me show you out Judd" Grams said as he headed for the door. "Thanks for 
 coming by on such short notice."
 
 "No problem" Judd said as they walked outside. "Anytime Sarah. Just make 
 sure that young lady takes care of herself."
 
 "They've been through a lot Judd" Grams sighed. "Well, you know what 
 happened."
 
 "He looks darn good for someone who's been through what he has " Judd 
 replied. "Pastor Jacob told us what was going on at Easter. Considering what 
 happened, I'd say he's doing pretty well."
 
 "You don’t know my grandson very well do you" Grams smiled.
 
 "Well I'm guessing he's got every ounce of that Rabb pride and stubbornness" 
 Judd grinned and Grams nodded.
 "They'll be all right Sarah."
 
 Meanwhile Harriet had helped Harm upstairs, leaving him once she was sure he 
 could get to the bedroom without a problem.
 
 "Mac" Harm said softly as he slowly made his way into the room. She was 
 lying on the bed with her eyes closed, but at the sound of his voice, they 
 flew open.
 
 "Hi" she said softly as he sat down on the side of the bed.
 
 "How you feeling?" he asked as he gently stroked her cheek with a trembling 
 hand. "God Sarah, I was so scared when Brandon came running down. And 
when 
 he told me you'd passed out, I thought…" He stopped to take a deep breath 
 before continuing. "I thought you'd lost the baby. And it would have been 
 all my fault. I'm so sorry. I haven't been taking care of you like a husband 
 should."
 
 "No" Mac whispered. "It would not be your fault. It's my fault." The tears 
 started and Harm reached for her, awkwardly pulling her to him.
 
 "Shh it's okay," he said gently. "The baby is fine and you're going to be 
 fine. That's all that matters."
 
 "I'm sorry" Mac wailed. "I should have been taking care of our baby. I'm a 
 terrible mother already."
 
 "Don’t you dare say that" Harm chided her gently. "You are going to be a 
 wonderful mother. And you would have been taking care of our baby if you 
 hadn't been so busy worrying about me. But that's going to stop right now. 
 You're going to start worrying about you and our baby not me."
 
 "You know I can't do that" Mac whispered as she gently pulled away to look 
 at him.
 
 "I want you to try. I shouldn't have let you get to this point. If I hadn't 
 been so wrapped up in my own misery, none of this would have happened."
 
 "Okay, enough blame" Mac said softly.
 
 "Mac, promise me you're going to take care of yourself" Harm said seriously. 
 "And our baby. I don’t want to lose either of you."
 
 "You're not going to lose either of us" Mac whispered. "And I promise I'll 
 take care of both us from now on."
 
 "Starting with you getting some rest" Harm ordered. "Doc Weaver said you 
 should take it easy for the rest of the day."
 
 "Harm I want to see Bud and Harriet" Mac protested.
 
 "Later, if you're up to it. You'll need to have dinner anyway. In the 
 meantime I want you to rest. You scared me real bad this time Marine."
 
 "I'll rest if you join me" Mac countered. "You've done way too much for one 
 day. I don't even know how you made it to meet Bud and I."
 
 "I just wanted to get to you" Harm whispered. "That was all I could think 
 about."
 
 "Come on" Mac said patting the bed. "Lay down with me sailor. You need this 
 as much as I do."
 
 He did as directed lying down beside her so that she could rest her head on 
 his chest. "I love you Sarah" he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "Get 
 some rest."
 
 "Love you too" Mac sighed tiredly.
 
For a long time they lie awake, listening to each other breathing, until exhaustion 
finally released them both to sleep.  And it seemed no time after that when Bud 
and Harriet were leaning over them calling them to dinner. 

"Grams sent us to see if you needed any help," Bud explained.  

"I think we can manage," Harm grinned, nevertheless not refusing his supporting 
hand as he rolled from the bed.  "But this one I'll take myself."  

Mac laughed and rolled into his arms as Bud and Harriet steadied them both.  
Harm gave a momentary groan of disgust at needing the help and quickly shook it 
off.  Yesterday and today had been too close, too great a worry, for him not to be 
greatful for the woman now in his arms.

"Grams talked us into staying the night and going to church with you in the 
morning," Harriet was saying as they made their way down the stairs.  "We 
packed extra clothes in case we decided to detour, but we didn't plan on intruding 
on you people."

"Grams doesn't take no for an answer when she gets her mind set on something," 
Harm told her.

"Tell me about it," Harriet sighed.  "But it will be fun, and AJ enjoys Mollie and 
Brandon so much."

They were soon settled at the table and the food passed.  When Mollie and 
Brandon's babbling stopped long enough, Harm put his fork down noisily and 
looked around, resting his gaze on Mac.

"Next weekend, Friday morning early in fact, I want to go to JAG and spend the 
weekend in our apartment."

Mac opened and closed her mouth three times before she spoke.  "Well OK I 
guess," she said hesitantly.  "But the office?  Why?"

"I just feel a need to...I don't know...connect with it again. I am coming back you 
know."

"Of course I know you are," she said quickly.  "And I don't see why not.  I'll leave 
Thursday noontime as long as AJ doesn't object, and we'll drive back early Friday 
morning.  But Harm you're sure you're up to it?  That is a long drive....OK sorry.  
You'll be fine."

It was his long look that prompted her to add those final words.
===================================
Sunday passed quietly, with church, and then Grams and Harriet--with insistence 
that Mac rest--fixed a ham dinner.  They were on the porch at sunset, enjoying the 
sandwichs from that dinner when Josh and Maggie returned.

"Mommy," Mollie gave her usual squeal and jumped into her arms for a quick hug 
and then reached for Josh.  

"Hey sweetpea," Josh smiled and took her.  

"Hi mom," Brandon called.  "Hey Josh.  Hey you guys guess what.  I saved Mac's 
life yesterday."

"Excuse me?"  Maggie's eyes opened wide.  "Just what was going on that you 
needed to do that mister."

"The boy is exaggerating slightly," Mac smiled.  "I had a rare spell of morning 
sickness, in the afternoon, got weak and passed out.  He came back here and got 
Harm and Bud.  He was very brave, and very sensable and level headed.  And 
we're all very proud of him."

"Well I would think so," Josh grinned and held out his hand to Brandon for them to 
touch fists.  "Nice going partner."

"Thanks," Brandon said, now suddenly uncomfortable with the attention.

"Sit and have a sandwich," Grams urged, taking Maggie's arm.  It was then that 
she saw it.  "Maggie my lord what is that on your hand?"

"That would be an engagement ring," Josh spoke up, his eyes shining with pride.  
"This lovely woman has in a moment of total insanity, consented to be my wife."  
As he spoke he kept his eyes on Mollie and Brandon.  The little girl's face told 
immediately of her reaction as she literally beamed her happiness.  

"I'm going to have a daddy again," she whispered, turning to Mac.  "Mac I'm going 
to have a daddy."

"Yes you are," Mac grinned, hugging her and squeezing Harm's hand at the same 
time.

"Brandon?" Maggie asked anxiously.

Brandon looked from Maggie to Josh.  "Does this mean you're not going to leave 
us--not ever?"

"You got that right," Josh declared.  "Your mom and I are going to be married and 
you and Maggie are going to become my children, just as soon as it can all be 
arranged.  That is OK with you isn't it?"

"Yes sir," Brandon nodded, seeming scarely able to breathe.  "Yes sir.  It's what 
I've wanted for a long time.  I was just afraid...afraid to hope."  With that he 
launched himself into Josh's arms, hugging the man whom he would soon call 
Dad for all he was worth.

"Life is good," Grams smiled happily.  "And if you'd like to have the wedding here, 
by all means.  In the church or here in the house."

"Oh Grams we haven't gotten that far, not even to when," Maggie panted.  "Josh 
took me by total surprise with the ring.  I knew he felt like that--knew he loved me--
but to want to marry into the insanity of my home, I didn't think any man, let alone 
a man this wonderful, would ever want to."

Mac's emotions got the better of her and she sobbed softly, causing Harm to give 
her a tolerant smile.  "Sort of like us?"

She nodded and he smilingly thumbed away the tears that shone on her cheeks.
=============================
Monday night, 735PM EST
Rabb Farm

"Harm for crying out loud.  I told you before this carpet is thin, and your pacing on 
it, especially when you should be sitting, is making it thinner and me crazy," 
Grams scolded.  "She's going to call you--she said she would call you.  Her 
appointment wasn't until late, and city doctors are notorious for running late.  
Believe me son if anything was wrong, Harriet would let you know."

"Unless something happened with the baby and they're driving up to tell me in 
person," he sighed.

"Oh for crying out loud," she groaned in exasperation.  "Harmon Rabb your 
outlook sucks.  And for me to say that you know I'm upset.  Now I'm going to turn 
on the TV and knit.  Stay and enjoy the program or go wait on the porch, but no 
more of that gloom and doom BS."

"Yes ma'am," Harm sighed and slowly walked to the porch, leaning more heavily 
on his cane as he always needed to when he was bothered.  He had barely gotten 
to the door when the phone rang and he turned back.

"Mary, thank you for calling me back.  I wanted to talk to you about the 
sandwiches for..." Grams was saying.

"My baby could be in trouble and they're discussing finger sandwiches," he 
announced to no one as he slammed through the door, cursing that Grams did not 
have call waiting.

Ten minutes later he heard Grams say goodbye and put down the phone, which 
immediately rang.  He held his breath.

"Harm your wife," Grams called.  "Sarah thank God.  The man has been 
impossible to live with since Louis dropped him off....Eat?  No of course not."

"Tattletale," he yelped, reaching for the phone.  "Sarah yes I've been frantic.  Are 
you and the baby OK?  What did the doctor say?....I am breathing, now tell me."




 "We're both fine" Mac assured him. "I need to gain a few more pounds she 
 said and of course start taking the prenatal vitamins like I should have 
 been. But otherwise she said everything was okay."
 
 "Thank you Jesus" Harm whispered. "What took so long? I was so afraid 
 something was really wrong."
 
 "Sorry, Harriet and Bud took me out for dinner afterwards. They wanted to 
 make sure I ate."
 
 "Well at least someone is watching out for you since I can't" Harm sighed.
 
 "Hey, what's wrong?" Mac asked.
 
 "I just miss you. I hate that you're there and I'm here."
 
 "I don't like it either" Mac said softly. "But it won't be for much longer. 
 And I have to do this if I want to have any leave time left when the baby 
 comes."
 
 "I know. It just doesn't make it any easier. And when you didn't call right 
 away, I started to freak. I think I owe Grams an apology. I sort of yelled 
 at her when she was on the phone earlier. After this past weekend, I’m just 
 afraid of something happening to you and the baby."
 
 "I'm taking good care of our baby" Mac assured him. "And myself. I promise. 
 But I want you to do the same."
 
 "I will now that I know you're okay" Harm sighed. "I love you Sarah. You 
 have no idea how much."
 
 "Yes I do" Mac smiled. "Cause I love you just as much."
 
 *********************************************
 Thursday Afternoon
 5:00 PM Est
 
 "Looks like you beat Harm back this time" Grams said as Mac walked up to the 
 front porch. "How you doing dear?"
 
 "I'm fine Grams" Mac said giving her a big hug. "And before you ask, yes 
 I've been eating and sleeping. And taking my vitamins."
 
 "Well I have to say you look a lot better than when you left here on Monday" 
 Grams replied.
 
 "Harriet has been taking good care of me" Mac smiled. "I had dinner with 
 them on Tuesday and Maggie and Josh on Wednesday."
 
 "Come on in and get some iced tea" Grams said taking her arm. "I'm sure Harm 
 will be along any moment now. He's been running a little late this week. 
 I've got supper ready as soon as he gets here."
 
 "How's he doing?" Mac asked.
 
 "Well besides missing you, he seems okay" Grams replied. "I hope this trip 
 to DC isn't a bad idea. "
 
 "I know" Mac sighed. "But he's insistent about going. I'm just not sure he's 
 up to it yet. Both mentally and physically."
 
 The sound of a car pulling up interrupted their talk and Mac hurried out to 
 help Harm.
 
 "Hey you" Mac said softly as Harm pushed himself out of the car. "I was 
 wondering where you got lost."
 
 "Just getting a little extra time in" Harm said as he reached to pull her 
 into his arms. "I missed you so much" he whispered.
 
 "Me too" Mac said softly, feeling the tears pooling again. "Come on, Grams 
 had dinner ready." She stepped out of his arms and put an arm around his 
 waist as they walked to the house.
 
 **********************************
 "You'll call me when you get in right?" Grams asked again as she followed 
 Harm and Mac out to the car.
 
 "Yes ma'am" Mac smiled. "Now stop worrying. We'll be fine. I'm getting so 
 used to this drive I could do it in my sleep."
 
 "Well then I guess I'll see you on Sunday night" Grams sighed. "Gosh I don't 
 know what I'm going to do with myself for the next three days."
 
 "Enjoy some quiet time" Harm said quietly. "You deserve a break after the 
 past few weeks."
 
 "Harmon, I love you and Mac very much. I would love to have you here all the 
 time. I know eventually you're going to go back to DC but right now I am 
 enjoying having this time with you two. I don't consider it a chore at all."
 
 "Grams we'll see you on Sunday" Mac said giving her a big hug. Harm did the 
 same a few minutes later they were on the road to DC. "Okay, sailor, what's 
 up? You've been awfully quiet this morning since we got up."
 
 "I'm fine. Just tired that's all" he said giving her a small smile.
 
 "You feeling okay?" Mac asked glancing over worriedly. "You sure you're up 
 to this today."
 
 "Yes. I want to go home. To our home."
 
 She didn't press any further, realizing this was something he obviously felt 
 he needed to do. She didn't agree with it, but she would go along with it. 
 She normally drove the little over four hour drive straight through, but 
 realized that Harm would need a break in between. After a couple hours of 
 driving, she pulled off the freeway and headed for the nearest service 
 station.
 
 "We're stopping already?" Harm questioned as she pulled in to the busy 
 service station.
 
 "Potty break" Mac smiled, not wanting him to know she was stopping for him. 
 "I forgot to go before we left Grams'.
 
 She parked the car and came around to help him only to be waved away.
 
 "Go on ahead, I can manage" he said sharply. She suddenly realized that this 
 was the first time they'd been anywhere besides Belleville and the rehab 
 clinic since the accident. She saw him look around at all the people and she 
 knew immediately what Harm was thinking. The arrogant ex-fighter pilot 
 couldn't stand to let the world know he needed help.
 
 "Harm" she started.
 
 "Mac, go ahead" Harm ordered. "I can manage myself."
 
 For a moment she debated what to do, before finally walking away. She 
 glanced back as she reached the door to the ladies room, watching him slowly 
 make his way across the parking lot. Suddenly out of the corner of her eye, 
 she saw a car come flying into the service station lot. The car full of 
 teenagers was paying little attention and Mac screamed as she realized it 
 was heading directly towards Harm. The driver suddenly looked up and with 
 brakes squealing managed to stop the car just inches from Harm. Harm glared 
 at the young man behind the wheel of the car and Mac hurried back over.
 
 "Get out of the way next time mister" the driver yelled before backing up 
 and peeling out of the parking lot.
 
 "Harm" Mac said softly when she reached him, the eyes of everyone in the 
 parking lot on them.
 
 "Mac, please go do what you have to do so we can go" Harm said quietly as he 
 turned back towards the car.
 
 She did as directed, hurrying back to the car a few minutes later. She 
 started back onto the freeway, Harm not saying a word, only looking out the 
 window blankly.
 
 "Harm are you okay?" Mac said quietly. "Harm, please don't shut me out right 
 now. Tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling."
 
 "What the hell do you think I'm feeling?" Harm shouted and Mac bit back the 
 tears. "Gee Mac take a stab at it. How would you feel if you were in my 
 place?"

"I don't know," she admitted and then added, her head held high, "but I would 
hope I would be damn grateful that I'm alive and that I have someone who loves 
me as much as I love you."

"Sometimes that's not enough," he said, though her words took the fight out of him 
for the moment.

"It's enough for me," she sighed and was glad when he did not want to continue 
the conversation.

I-270 took them toward the beltway, and she began to fade to the left in 
preparation to go in the direction of Georgetown.

"No I want to go to JAG first," he said firmly.  "It's getting late on a Friday and 
people will be heading out."

Wordlessly she worked her way back across the traffic, suppressing a desire to 
curse D.C. area driving.  The farm and the roads around it were always so inviting 
after driving in this nightmare.

"Here we are Sailor," she announced as she turned into JAG.  

Harm opened his eyes and looked around.  "Same place as ever."

She parked and came around to him but made no move to open the door, waiting 
to see if he wanted assistance.  The door opened slowly and he began to slide 
out, his good leg first and his weak side following, with her hands hovering near.  
Satisfied he was steady she reached in for his cane, keeping one hand on his 
arm.

"No," he almost yelled.

"No what?  No cane?  Are you nuts?  You're going to have a lot of walking to do 
once you're in there."

"Mac I'm not going to look like an invalid in front of all those people," he stubbornly 
insisted.  

"And what are you going to look like if you fall flat on your face?"

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence," he muttered, pulling his arm from hers.

Mac immediately threw up her hands in surrender.  "OK Flyboy you're on your 
own."  Despite her words she kept her hands ready to steady him, and once they 
reached the door, she was surprised to find him reach for her hand, and even 
further surprised to note that he was trembling slightly.

"We don't have to do this," she whispered.

"Yes we do.  I need to.  I want my life back, and this was a big part of it," he 
answered.

Being lunchtime many of the staff were gone, but AJ came out of his office when 
Tiner told him the Rabbs were there.  "What the hell are you doing here," he 
boomed.  "Good to see you both.  Harm where's your cane?"

Harm smiled slightly at that.  "Good to see you too sir, and I'm winging it thank 
you."

AJ shot Mac a concerned look and she shrugged.  "Harm, Mac, I've got to make a 
call but then I want to talk to you both."

"Yes sir, I'm just going to go see if my office is still standing."

Another look from AJ, this time a questioning one and Mac shook her head. 

"OK what's going on?" Harm asked suspiciously.  "Does that look have anything to 
do with my office, like maybe the ceiling collapsed."

"Half right Sailor," she answered, about to continue when Harriet came from the 
Xerox room and spotted them.  

"I didn't know you guys were going to come down," she enthused.  "Bud's around 
here somewhere and we can all get some lunch maybe.  Admiral?"

"Sounds good to me, let me make this call," AJ nodded and looked to Mac.

"I will sir."

Harm left Harriet and Mac talking, still mystified by what AJ and Mac were 
communicating about, and began a slow walk to his office.  He was half way there 
when from behind him came another voice, one he did not recognize.  And worse 
were the words he heard.

"Sarah, what are you doing here?  I thought you were taking a long weekend."

Harm spun around the best he could, in time to read consternation on Mac's face 
as a man in the uniform of a Marine Lieutenant Colonel approached her, 
unmistakably glad to see her.

"Seth hi," she smiled, and Harm's scowl deepened.  A stranger, a stranger who 
called his wife Sarah, and a handsome Marine officer at that.  

"I'm down for the weekend yeah.  Harm wanted to come and see the place again."  
She looked over to Harm, and was not surprised at his darkened face.  She knew 
his dismay was only going to increase when the found on the rest of the story.

"Come and meet Harm," she said to Seth.  

"He looks a little...uh surprised...," he said softly.

"He's very surprised," Harm spoke up.  "And there's nothing wrong with his 
hearing thank you.  You would be?"

Seth was now the one looking surprised and his look to Mac asked the question 
on his mind.

"No I didn't get in to any of this," she admitted, her gaze now fixed on Harm.

"Colonel could you answer my question please," Harm requested, starting over to 
them.  A piece of paper on the floor--for anyone with normal agility not a problem.  
For Harm, once his foot hit it making him slide slightly, it threw him off balance and 
he went down heavily to one knee, his side impacting a desk on the way.

"Harm?"  Mac was beside him a second later, kneeling with him.  "Harm you're..."

"I'm fine," he snapped.  "Just totally wonderful."

Seth followed her quickly.  "Anything I can do?"

"Can you help me get him up?" Mac asked, "and can you forgive his rudeness?"

Harm seethed at those words but did allow Seth to pull him to his feet and Mac's 
hands helped to steady him.  "Did you hurt yourself?"  It was only with effort that 
she kept her tone level.

"I'm fine I told you," he snapped.

"Harm you and I haven't been formally introduced, but I know what happened to 
you, and I know how hard it must be to cope with this for a man who's so used 
to...well being in perfect health," Seth ventured.

"You don't know anything about it," Harm said coldly, "and no we haven't been 
introduced but I see you seem to know my wife pretty well."  His glare now fixed 
on Mac.  "And she hasn't seen fit to mention you either."

"OK now I'm beginning to understand," Seth said calmly.  "I'll be in my office.  
Sarah come see me before you leave."  

Mac's blood ran cold at that, knowing this was another part of what she had yet to 
disclose to Harm.  Sure enough, Harm watched in shock as Lt. Col. Seth Hawkins, 
ruggedly handsome and perfectly healthy, marched into what had been up until 
the crash, the office of Commander Harmon Rabb.

"Mac what the hell is going on here?"  Any attempt at calmness was gone by the 
time he uttered the word 'here'.  "Who is this guy, why does he seem to know you 
so well and what the hell is he doing in my office?"

The agitation in his voice brought AJ to his door. "Mr. Rabb I'm going to have to 
ask you to calm down or leave," he called, firmly but kindly.  "I know you work 
here, but you will not disrupt the order of the day."

"Yes sir," Harm answered, his eyes never leaving Mac and only slightly mollified.  
"Some answers please."

"Harm, if you give it some calm logical thought, you'll realize the man is your 
replacement--temporary, very temporary, replacement.  He's up from JAG at 
LeJuene, opened ended TDY until you come back.  Surely you knew with you 
gone and me part time, there was more work than there were bodies to do it."

"Are you partnering with him?"

"Harm that's not.."

"Are you partnering with him," Harm repeated, his tone now low and quiet, that 
insistent voice he used when he was cross examining and would not be denied an 
answer.

"Yes," she admitted, reaching for his arm.  "And I should have told you.  It was 
wrong, but at the same time you had enough..."

Harm turned on his heel and headed for the nearest exit, ignoring the pain that 
was beginning to emanate from his knee and his side, both bruised in his fall.  The 
door slammed behind him as he walked into the side courtyard and feeling the 
desperate need to be alone with his frustration, began to head for the wooded 
area that was part of the JAG property.


 Inside Mac fought to keep the tears back. She should have told Harm about 
 her temporary partner. But he'd been so upset about everything else she 
 hadn't been sure he could handle it. And she'd been right. She'd expected 
 him to be upset, but not like this.
 
 "Mac, you okay?" AJ asked gently.
 
 "No sir, I'm not" Mac sighed. "I knew this wasn't going to be a good idea. 
 He's hurting so bad, sir. And this just makes it all seem more real to him. 
 He's already afraid he's not going to be able to come back to JAG."
 
 "He's going to have to learn to deal with it" AJ said quietly. "Do you want 
 me to go after him and try and talk some sense into him."
 
 "No" Mac said shaking her head. "I need to call Grams and tell her we're 
 here and then I'll go after him. He can't go too far."
 
 She headed to her office, taking a few deep breaths to compose herself 
 before calling Grams.
 
 "Grams, it's Sarah. We're here safely."
 
 "What's wrong dear?" Grams asked. "Let me guess, Harm."
 
 "This wasn't a good idea Grams" Mac sighed. "I didn't tell him that I have a 
 new partner and he lost it."
 
 "Sarah, he has to learn that life goes on" Grams said quietly. "Even if he 
 feels his hasn’t. But I'm sure he'll get over it."
 
 "I hope so" Mac whispered. "I have to go find him. He was so upset when he 
 left here I figured I'd give him a few minutes alone."
 
 She hung up with Grams and headed outside, looking for Harm. She finally 
 spotted him way out on the edge of the property and she wondered how on 
 earth he'd managed to get that far. She crossed the distance between them in 
 a slow run, panting slightly when she finally reached him. He kept walking, 
 ignoring her presence until she grabbed his arm.
 
 "Harm, please stop. We need to talk."
 
 "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded as he whirled around to face her. "Why 
 did you tell me that you had a new partner."
 
 "For this reason" Mac shouted. "Because you can't handle it. Harm, no one is 
 replacing you. Seth is just filling in while you're out."
 
 "Well you and Seth seem pretty close" Harm retorted. "And we know how you 
 are about making moves on men you work with."
 
 If he'd slapped her she wouldn't have been more hurt. "I see" Mac whispered 
 as the tears slid down her face. "I didn't realize this is what you thought 
 of me." She tried to remember that it wasn't him talking, that he was just 
 lashing out at her because he was hurting.
 
 He stood there silent, knowing he'd hurt worse than he'd ever imagined he 
 could. But he was hurting and at that moment, he just wanted her to hurt as 
 much as he did. He couldn't help the jealousy that had spilled forth when 
 he'd seen her with another man.  "I want to go home" he said finally.  "I 
 don't want to have lunch with anyone."
 
 "Fine, I'll take you home." She reached for his arm and he jerked it away.
 
 "I don't need your help" he shouted. "Just leave me alone."
 
 "You want to be alone, fine" Mac shouted back, the last bit of composure she 
 had slipping away. "I'll leave you alone." She started back towards the JAG 
 building, leaving him standing there alone. By the time she reached the JAG 
 building the tears had overtaken her and she sank down on the bench outside 
 sobbing.
 
 "Sarah, you okay?" She looked up at Harriet's voice and shook her head 
 violently.
 
 "Oh Harriet" Mac wailed as her friend sat down next to her, gently pulling 
 her into her arms. "He hates me. He hates everything. I don't know how much 
 more of this I can take."
 
 "He doesn't hate you" Harriet soothed. "He would never hate you. He's just 
 upset is all."
 
 "No" Mac said shaking her head. "He said something awful to me Harriet. 
 About me and Seth. And Seth being just another guy I worked with that I was 
 putting the moves on."
 
 "He said that" Harriet's eyes widened and Mac nodded. "He didn't mean that. 
 I'm sure he didn't."
 
 "Harriet I don’t know" Mac whispered. "I'm losing him Harriet. Every day he 
 pushes me away even further. I thought that after last weekend things had 
 changed but now I'm not so sure. Being here has just made it worse for him. 
 He's seeing everything that he thinks he's lost. And he's not dealing with 
 it very well. And frankly, neither am I."
 
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" Harriet asked as she let go of Mac. 
 "Do you want me to talk to him?"
 
 "He doesn’t want to talk to anyone" Mac said quietly. "He just wants to go 
 home. And at this moment, I think that's the best thing to do." She looked 
 out to where he was slowly making his way back to the building. She could 
 tell from how slowly he was moving that he was hurting and she stood up and 
 headed towards him. When she reached him, she could see the pain in his face 
 as he took each step, the sweat beading on his forehead from the effort. 
 Without a word she slipped an arm around his waist and immediately felt his 
 weight as he leaned on her. By the time they reached the car, they were both 
 panting heavily and he leaned against the car, closing his eyes against the 
 pain.
 
 "Are you okay?" she asked softly.
 
 "Mac I'm sorry" he whispered. "I am so sorry."
 
 "Why don't we talk about this later" Mac suggested. "Right now you need to 
 get home and into bed."
 
 He nodded and allowed her to help him into the car, lifting his aching leg 
 into the car when he couldn't do it himself.
 
 A short time later, she helped him up to their apartment, thankful there was 
 only one flight of stairs.
 
 "Welcome home" she said softly as they walked in.
 
 For a moment he just looked around the apartment, realizing just how long it 
 had been since he'd been here last. He suddenly remembered the last night 
 he'd been here. Making love to Mac before he'd left for the trip to DeYoung. 
 It all seemed like a thousand lifetimes ago. He noticed the blankets on the 
 couch and looked up at her.
 
 "I can't sleep in the bedroom without you" she admitted quietly. "I always 
 seem to have a nightmare when I sleep in there." His eyes traveled to their 
 wedding picture which lay on the couch with the blankets. "I hold onto that 
 when I sleep" Mac whispered as she felt the tears pooling again. "Come on, 
 let's get you to the bedroom."
 
 "This wasn't how I pictured coming home would be" Harm said quietly, not 
 moving. "This doesn't feel like home anymore. Nothing feels right."
 
 "Does being in Belleville feel right?" Mac asked softly.
 
 "Nothing feels right anymore" Harm sighed. "Nothing." She felt him waver in 
 her arms and she quickly propelled him towards the bedroom.
 
 "Into bed" she ordered gently. "You've over done it and I know you're 
 hurting. I'm going to order us some lunch from the corner deli and then 
 after you've eaten I'm going to give you some pain pills and you're going to 
 get some rest." She helped him into bed, and he closed his eyes as he sank 
 back against the pillow. He was hurting, but not just physically.  "You get 
 some rest. I'll wake you when lunch gets here." She started to get up only 
 to be stopped when his trembling hand reached out for her.
 
 "Don't leave" he said quietly. "I still owe you an apology for earlier."
 
 "And I owe you one for not telling you about Seth."
 
 "No" Harm said quietly. "You did what you thought was right. And you were 
 right. I couldn't handle it. And I'm sorry. And I hope you know that I 
 didn't mean what I said."
 
 "I wasn’t sure" Mac whispered.
 
 "I'm sorry. What I said was so out of line. You have never done anything to 
 warrant those kinds of comments. I guess I was jealous. Jealous that another 
 man can do what I no longer can do."
 
 "Harm, I'm only working with him" Mac whispered. "And believe me, I'd much 
 rather be working with you. Do you know how hard it is for me to go in there 
 and see him in your office? I want it to be you in there. Not him."
 
 "I want it to be me in there too" Harm sighed as he closed his eyes again, 
 exhausted from both the drive and the walking.  "You don't know how bad I 
 want it to be me."
 
 "Get some rest" she said softly. "I'll go see about lunch."

"Yes I do, yes I do," she insisted, kissing his closed eyelids.  "I understand a lot 
more than you give me credit for in fact.  Please rest while I get some lunch 
ordered.  I think that Greek deli."

He rolled to one side and gasped with the pain that caused.  

"Harm?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"I am and I do, now let me see," she ordered, already tugging at his shirt.  His side 
just above his belt was in the process of turning spectacular shades of purple and 
black.

"I banged the desk when I lost my balance," he admitted sheepishly, peering at 
the area.  "Whoa, no wonder it's sore."

"Yeah well the pills will help it, but I'm getting you some ice."  She did that and 
when she had it centered on his side, took her other hand and smoothed some 
hair back from his forehead.  "I'm sorry and I love you."

"I'm sorry and I love you," he parroted back with a small smile.  "Sorry about how I 
acted all morning.  The thing at the gas station set me off.  I saw that car coming 
at me and my brain was telling my legs to move and they wouldn't.  You know I'm 
not ever going to regain the kind of reaction time I need to fly a Tomcat."

"Maybe not," she said evenly and then took his hand and placed it on her belly.  
"But you've got other things to look forward to.  And about your falling.  Harm you 
were hurt in the line of duty--you were on a mission when the crash happened, 
doing a job you were sworn to do.  There is no shame in what happened, and 
certainly no shame in using a cane, particularly if it's going to get you better 
faster."

"I know--well about that something to look forward to, and also about the other, 
but what I know in my brain doesn't seem to be getting through to my heart." He 
gave her a rueful smile.  "Sarah tell me about Seth."

"Harm he's a nice guy.  The Admiral asked for volunteers to come to JAG to help 
out for this short period of time and he chose him.  I can assure you I had nothing 
to do with it.  He's nice and good at what he does and easy to work with.  He is 
however no Harmon Rabb.  And we're working together to get out from under 
some of the backload of cases.  The Admiral likes him, and is probably going to 
ask him back to take my place when I go on maternity leave."

"Now there's a concept I haven't gotten a real handle on," he sighed, pressing his 
hand against her still-flat belly.  "I know better than to think you'd make any move 
on him.  Honest I do.  That just came out in a fit of jealousy and hurting."

"I know," she assured him, stroking his cheek.  "Harmon Rabb you are the only 
man I want in my life."  She stopped and looked down to his hand.  "Well other 
than the one growing here."

"Boy?" he asked softly, his eyes suddenly alight with wonder.  "My son?"

"Well I don't know that for sure of course," she laughed as well, "but yeah why not.  
Why shouldn't the first born Rabb of this generation be your son."  Another pause.  
"Harm you know I was serious when we talked before, about Belleville, and the 
farm and all.  I love the Marines, and I love JAG, but I also love that old house, 
and the land, and the notion that we could raise our family there."

"I know," he nodded soberly, "and when it's our choice, that's when it will be right 
for us to do that.  Like I said before, I'm just having a hard time with having 
something else taken away from me.  I've had so much stolen from me---my dad, 
flying, you almost by an arrogant Australian.."  His voice trailed off as the pain 
medication began to make his mind grow fuzzy.

"Mic Brumby was never a threat to you," she smiled, her mind going back to 
Thanksgiving and how that long snowy holiday weekend she came to realize who 
and what she wanted.  "No more talking.  Rest now."
========================================
Friday and Saturday passed quietly as Harm and Mac kept to themselves.  Harm 
mainly rested and watched movies and sports while Mac did household chores 
around the apartment and worked on some of her caseload.

It was just shortly after noon on Sunday that Harriet and Bud, with AJ and Sydney, 
and little AJ happily in AJ's arms, arrived at the door bringing brunch.

"Hey this is great," Mac smiled and swatted Harm with the case file she was 
holding.  "Rabb look alive, we have guests."

Guests was the last thing Harm actually wanted to deal with but seeing as it was 
his C.O. there was nothing he could do but stand and be pleasant.

"Well at least you're dressed, almost," Mac observed.  "Go put a shirt on Flyboy 
before you make these other women distracted."

"Mac you're a lucky woman," Sydney teased and hugged AJ at the same time.

"Tell me about it," Mac smiled and sighed at the same time.  She would never tire 
of seeing her husband's attributes.

"That was wonderful and what a nice surprise, thank you," Mac smiled when they 
were sitting with coffee and dessert.  "And I can't wait to see you guys next 
weekend.  It's going to be great."

"Next weekend?" Harm frowned.

"Memorial Day," she reminded him gently and squeezed his hand.  "Memorial Day 
weekend.  Everyone is coming.  Grams is cooking the turkey over the spit and 
we're all going to be together...stop me when this is getting familiar."

"Now," he nodded.  "OK I'm with the program now.  Bud bring I'm going to have a 
new horseshoe pit dug.  You're dead meat."

Mac smiled to see her husband enthused about something, even as temporary as 
it might be.

"Harm there's something else," AJ spoke up, nodding to Bud to acknowledge his 
look that Harm needed to be told something.

"I've asked Bud and Harriet to take you back to Belleville tonight.  I'm afraid I'm 
going to have to kidnap your wife."

Harm said straight up in his chair, ignoring the shooting pain from his side bruise.  
"Excuse me?  She can't take me back?  Why the hell not?"

Mac squeezed his hand firmly.  "Will you let the man speak please."

"Mac the Secnav has tasked me to do something about the problem at Mayport," 
AJ went on, turning to her.  "And that means you and your partner are going to 
have to run down there and see if a full Jagman investigation is warranted."

"What trouble and why my wife and why does her partner have to go?" Harm 
frowned suspiciously.

"Harm there's been three enlisted women sailors murdered down there in a 
month," AJ said slowly.  "It's been kept quiet up to now and the local people were 
investigating."

"So why now?" he growled.

"Because the last murder was Christina Pepper, Congressman Pepper's only 
daughter," AJ answered.  "And the man is on the Armed Forces Committee and 
wants to know why the Navy can't protect its own people on its own installation. 
So Mac and Mr. Hawkins are going to run down there and just see if they can get 
a handle on what's been happening."

"I don't want her to go," Harm whispered, holding her hand so tightly he was 
hurting her.  

"Harm I have to do my job," she said softly.  "It's going to be fine.  You and I have 
done a hundred of these things and nothing has ever happened."

"I don't like it," he objected plaintively.  "And if you are going to have to go 
someplace like this, it should be me going with you."

"And it will be again, but for now it can't be."

"All I can say is this Jarhead had better take good care of you," he growled.

"How about giving me some credit for being able to take care of myself," she 
returned.

"Mac I want you and Seth down there tonight so you can get started first thing in 
the morning," AJ directed, "and Harm please.  They'll be fine.  There's a whole 
NCIS team there they'll be working with too."

"Yeah that makes me feel all better," he groaned.  "Excuse me please."  With that 
he rose and walked slowly to the bedroom, not wanting to display any further 
emotions in front of his C.O. and friends.




 "I'm sorry Mac" AJ said quietly. "I'm sure you understand my position here. 
 With the SecNav breathing down my back and Congressman Pepper on his, I 
 don't have a choice. I've asked Seth to pick you up here in an hour."
 
 "Understood sir" Mac said quietly. "And I hope you'll all understand that 
 I'd like a little time alone with my husband. Thank you for everything. Sir, 
 I'll call you tomorrow as soon as Seth and I come up with something. Bud and 
 Harriet, if you wouldn't mind coming back later please."
 
 She waited until the others had left before heading to the bedroom.
 
 "Hey" she said softly as she sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. 
 "You okay?"
 
 "I don't want you to go" Harm said in a small voice. "This is too dangerous. 
 And you don’t even know Seth that well. What if something goes wrong and he 
 can't handle it?"
 
 "Harm, he's a marine Colonel. I'm sure he can handle it if things get out of 
 control. It's not like the Admiral's sending Singer down with me."
 
 "I'd feel better if I were with you" Harm said quietly.
 
 "Liar" Mac smiled. "You wouldn't like it any better if you were with me 
 because of the fact that three women sailors have been murdered. You'd be in 
 the Admiral's office begging him to send Bud with you instead."
 
 "Okay you got me on that one" he sighed. "Mac, I love you more than anything 
 else in this world. I don't want anything to happen to you. I thought I was 
 going to lose it last weekend as it was."
 
 "Harm, I'll be fine" Mac assured him. "Like the Admiral said we're going to 
 be working with the NCIS team. It's not like it's just Seth and I alone."
 
 "I suppose that makes me feel better" Harm said softly. "By the way, where's 
 everyone else?"
 
 "I sent them away" Mac smiled. "Seth is picking me up in about an hour. And 
 I wanted that last hour alone with my husband. Bud and Harriet will be back 
 to pick you up later."
 
 "You actually told everyone to leave?" A small smile crept to his face and 
 she slid into bed next to him, burrowing her head in his chest.
 
 "Yes I did" she whispered. "I love you Harm. More than anything else in this 
 world. I don’t want to go to Mayport either but for now this is my duty. And 
 until the day you and I resign our commissions, we don’t have any choice. 
 But I don't want to talk about that right now. I've got 52 minutes until 
 Seth gets here and all I want to do is be held by the man I love until that 
 time."
 
 "I love you Sarah" Harm whispered and she raised her head from his chest, 
 staring into the pair of green eyes that were still so filled with hurt and 
 pain. She wished that she could wipe away all the hurt, but she knew that it 
 wasn't up to her. It was up to him.
 
 53 minutes later there was a knock at the door. She'd left the sanctuary of 
 his arms just ten minutes earlier to throw together what she needed for the 
 trip and headed to the door with her bags in hand.
 
 "Hi Sarah" Seth said when she opened the door. "I take it you're ready."
 
 "Would you mind taking these down and I'll meet you at the car in a minute" 
 Mac asked and Seth nodded as he took her bags before heading back 
 downstairs.
 
 "Harm, I love you" Mac whispered as she sat down on the edge of the bed. 
 "I'll call you later okay?"
 
 He nodded and she pulled him into her arms for one last hug, both feeling 
 the tears brimming. She finally let go and with one last "I love you" 
 hurried from the room. He heard the door slam as she went out and he buried 
 his head in the pillow as the tears began again. He hated this. He hated his 
 wife on an investigation with another man. One that could be dangerous.
 
 The trip back to Belleville was made in silence, Harm staring out the window 
 most of the time. Even AJ's attempts to get Uncle Harm's attention failed 
 and eventually the toddler gave up and fell asleep.
 
 "Where's Sarah?" Grams asked as she came out from the house to meet them. 
 Bud was helping Harm out of the van, stiff from the long ride and still 
 hurting from his earlier fall.
 
 "She'd had to go on a case" Harm said sullenly as he stepped gingerly out of 
 the van. "With her new partner."
 
 "Bud, Harriet are you going to stay and visit for a little bit?" Grams asked 
 and Bud shook his head.
 
 "Sorry, Grams, we're going to have to head back. Thanks for the offer 
 though. Harm, if you need anything, let us know. Otherwise we'll see you on 
 Saturday."
 
 For a moment Harm gave him a blank look and then he remembered again the 
 Memorial Day party. "Yeah, sure" Harm replied. "See yah." He started towards 
 the house as Bud and Harriet climbed into the van.
 
 "So when is Sarah coming back?" Grams asked as she followed Harm into the 
 house.
 
 "I don't know Grams and I don't want to talk about it" Harm said irritably. 
 "This hasn't exactly been the best weekend of my life." She opened her mouth 
 to say something and he whirled around to face her. "And I don’t want the 
 lecture either. So just save it."
 
 "Harmon Rabb, how dare you talk to Grams that way? I know I raised you 
 better than that."
 
 Harm looked back around, surprised to see Trish sitting in the living room. 
 "Mom, what are you doing here?"
 
 "I came to spend some time with my son" Trish said as she stood up. "Frank 
 has some business in New York he's taking care of this week so I flew in 
 with him yesterday and then came over here last night. He'll be back on 
 Saturday for the party and I figured this would give me a chance to spend 
 some time with you and Grams and Mac."
 
 "Well you won't see Mac" Harm retorted. "She's off on a case with her new 
 partner. I'm not even sure she'll be back by the weekend."
 
 "I can see you're still Mr. Positive" Grams replied, having paid no 
 attention to his outburst. "Come along to the kitchen and I'll warm up some 
 dinner for you."
 
 "I'm not hungry" Harm pouted. "And I'm tired and I'd really like to just go 
 to bed."
 
 "Harmon, your mother has just flown across the country to come and spend some 
 time with you" Grams said quietly. "I think you can at least spend a little 
 time with her before you go to bed."
 
 "Why so you can both tell me that my attitude sucks and I should just start 
 learning to deal with this" Harm shouted. "Thank you but I've heard that 
 enough this weekend." He pushed past Grams and headed through the kitchen, 
 stepping outside on to the back porch and down the two steps and out into 
 the yard.
 
 "Has he been like this the whole time?" Trish asked quietly as she watched 
 him outside.
 
 "Pretty much" Grams sighed. "Once in a while he'll snap out of it but it 
 doesn't usually last very long. And since Sarah went back to work, it's been 
 worse. And it's not easy to see him hurting like this."
 
 "No I'm sure it hasn't" Trish said glumly. "I should have come back here 
 sooner to see him. When you said he wasn't handling things too well, I never 
 thought it was this bad."
 
 "He's a Rabb" Grams reminded her. "And his pride his hurting right now. 
 Until he learns to accept this, nothing is going to change. And of course 
 being a Rabb also means he's stubborn as hell so acceptance of this isn't 
 going to come easy. Nothing any of us say is going to change anything. Harm 
 is the only one who can do that."
 
 "I'm going to go try and talk to him" Trish said softly and headed outside 
 to her son. He was standing at the edge of the property, looking up into the 
 late evening sky. "Can we try this again" Trish said quietly as she walked 
 over to him. "Hello Harm, how are you?"
 
 "Hi mom" he said finally. "And I've been better."
 
 "You want to talk to me about it?"
 
 "Not really" Harm sighed. "I'm tired of talking about it." She stood there 
 looking at him intently and he felt a twinge of guilt for his earlier 
 harshness. "I'm sorry about earlier."
 
 "You need to apologize to Grams, not me" Trish said quietly. "Despite the 
 fact that she can take just about anything you dish out at her, she doesn't 
 deserve to be treated that way. She's done a lot for you and Mac."
 
 "I know" Harm said miserably. "But mom, you don't know how I feel. Nobody 
 knows what this is like. Do you have any idea how it feels to have 
 everything taken away? I'll probably never fly a tomcat again. I'm not even 
 sure I'll ever be able to work at JAG again. And my wife is now working with 
 some other guy. That's supposed to be me with her mom." His voice broke and 
 he turned away as he felt the tears again.
 
 "Oh Harm" Trish whispered as she pulled her son into her arms, her own tears 
 falling at the sound of his sobs. Her son was hurting far more than she'd 
 ever imagined, and there was nothing she could do to make it better. "Harm, 
 you haven't lost everything" Trish whispered. "It might seem like it but you 
 still have the most important things. You have Mac and your baby. And she 
 loves you more than anything in this world. Don't ever forget that." She 
 held him tightly until he finally pulled away a few minutes later.
 
 "Mom, is it ever going to get better?" he asked in a child like voice that 
 tore at her heart.
 
 "It will" Trish whispered softly. "Somehow it will Harm. I know it doesn't 
 seem like it now but it will." He nodded and she slipped her arm around his 
 waist. "Come on, let's go inside?" Trish said gently.
 
 The rest of the week passed quietly, Trish taking Harm to rehab each day. He 
 waited anxiously each night for Mac's call, needing to know she was okay. 
 She called each night at 7:00 and on Thursday night she didn't call at the 
 appointed time and he began his pacing in the living room.
 
 "Harm, I'm sure she just hung up somewhere" Grams said as she tried to 
 comfort her grandson. "Why don't you just sit and relax?"
 
 He'd just taken a seat when the phone rang and Trish ran to answer it while 
 Harm pushed himself to his feet. What he heard next sent a wave of fear 
 through him.
 
 "Hello AJ. Yes Harm is here. Hold on."
 

Harm had to swallow twice before he could speak.  "Sir?"

Meanwhile Trish came from the kitchen, watching and listening from the doorway 
in muted shock.  She had been a Navy wife long enough to know when something 
was wrong.

"Harm, hello.  This isn't going to be easy, so I'm just going to say it straight," AJ 
began.  "There's been some trouble at Mayport."

"Mac?" Harm screeched and Grams was beside him at once, knowing for him to 
make that anguished sound something had to be badly wrong.

"Harm we don't know.  I'm having a terrible time getting information.  The NCIS 
team, with Mackenzie and Hawkins, was attacked while they were checking a 
lead.  This was about an hour ago.  There are casualties.  And the first report is 
that one is a Marine who was with the group."

Harm swallowed hard again, and this time the words would not come to him.  
Silently he handed the phone to Grams.

"AJ it's Grams," she said quietly, sinking into the chair she kept by the phone for 
just this reason.  "Is it Mac?"

"I just don't know, but I didn't want Harm to hear it from anyone else.  I've got a 
call in to the base C.O. and also to the commander of the NCIS detachment, not 
to mention Mac will surely call Harm if...uh...when she's able to."

"Grams?" Harm managed a hoarse croak and she took his hand, shaking her 
head to indicate there was nothing more.

"Thanks for calling AJ," she said softly.  "I believe she's OK, just busy in the 
aftermath.  Please God."

"I'll let you know soonest," AJ promised and broke the connection.

"Harm.." Grams tried and he shook his hand from hers.  

"I don't want to talk about it.  In fact I don't want to talk at all, except to say that 
should have been me with her.  Hawkins wouldn't have taken care of her like I 
would have.  To him she would have been expendable--only the accomplishment 
of the mission would matter."  His voice was tearful and bitter at the same time 
and he turned from her, fleeing to the porch.

Grams watched him go and then walked silently to the TV, turning on ZNN.  When 
the stories repeated at the top of the hour, there was in fact a dateline Mayport 
Florida, stating details were sketchy but that there had been a shootout between 
investigators and two men suspected of kidnapping and then murdering enlisted 
women.

Anger rose within her and she picked up a little figurine from the end table, sorely 
tempted for one of the few times in her life to express anger by lashing out, 
smashing the little porcelain deer into a wall.  "For Godsake what kind of system 
sends a woman into something like that, especially a pregnant woman," she 
moaned.

Harm heard her from the porch and looked back through the screen.  "Grams Mac 
would not ask for any special treatment.  She would be determined to carry on her 
duty until she couldn't function in her condition."  It was as he said those words 
that the weight of guilt smashed into him and he sank slowly to the wooden porch 
floor.  She had mentioned on more than one occasion that she wanted them to 
soon consider leaving it all and starting their life on the farm and now....now what 
if his stubbornness had cost them that chance.

Trish walked slowly to Grams' side, putting an arm across the older woman's 
shoulders.  "Thanks dear," Grams tried to smile.  "Trish I don't know...if something 
has happened to Mac, or the baby, it's going to kill him.  He may as well take a 
gun to his own head."

"I know Grams," Trish nodded.  "And I want to go to him, but I think he's better 
alone right now.   Honestly, the boy is so angry--I sense it so often--and this is 
only going to add to that.

A long twenty minutes passed, with Harm pacing outside and Grams inside.  The 
phone did ring once and Harm could not help a tiny smile when he heard Grams 
snap, "Helen I don't have time to talk right now", and the phone slam down.  He 
was not the only one who could feel stressed.

The phone again, and this time Harm sensed it was the news.  His knees buckled 
and he collapsed to the old glider, hearing the springs groan in protest.  Before he 
could hear Gram's words, his hands went to his ears.  At that moment, he knew if 
the news was bad she would burst into tears, and if that happened, his heart 
would shatter.

"Grams it's me.  You heard what happened?"

"Oh Sarah yes," she gasped.  "And I can't tell you how good it is to hear your 
voice right at this moment.  Are you all right child?"

From across the room Trish broke into a huge grin, and gave Grams the thumbs-
up sign, gesturing out the window to where Harm waited.

"Yes ma'am.  Seth was hurt, and I've been buttonholed answering fool questions 
and then I had to know how he's doing.  But right now my main concern is my 
husband.  The admiral said he called him.  How's he holding up?"

"Not good, but that doesn't matter now," Grams answered, tears of relief now 
staining her face.  "He'll be fine in about five seconds, soon as I get him.  Hold 
on."

"Harm.  Harm phone," she called and then walked impatiently to the porch.  She 
almost laughed.  Here was her long since grown grandson, sitting with his hands 
to his ears like he did as a petulant six year old when he did not want to listen to a 
lecture.

She came through the door and nudged his shoulder and he turned to her, 
spotting the tears on her face.  "No.  NO," he screamed and instinctively looked 
for an escape route.

"Harmon stop it now," she ordered sternly.  "Your wife is on the phone."


 For a moment he just stared at her before finally forcing his trembling legs 
 to stand and walk inside. Without a word Grams handed him the phone.
 
 "Mac" he whispered.
 
 "Well who'd you think it was" Mac said softly and he felt his own tears of 
 relief. "I'm sorry I couldn't call earlier. Things have been crazy to say 
 the least."
 
 "You're okay? The baby is okay?"
 
 "We're both fine" Mac assured him.
 
 "Thank you Jesus" Harm whispered under his breath. "Mac, I was so scared. 
 The Admiral said there were injured but he didn't know who and what, only 
 that it was a Marine…"
 
 "No it wasn't me. But the man you doubted could cover my six did just that 
 and ended up with a bullet in his shoulder."
 
 He sat down in the chair by the phone, her words sending another jolt 
 through him. She had been in the line of fire…and Seth had protected her.
 
 "What happened?" Harm asked quietly.
 
 "Plain and simple is he pushed me out of the way of an incoming bullet" Mac 
 replied and Harm closed his eyes, trying to erase the image of his wife and 
 baby being shot at.
 
 "How is he?"
 
 "He just got out of surgery" Mac sighed. "From what the doctor said it 
 nicked an artery, so there's some concern about blood loss. But otherwise he 
 should be fine."
 
 He could hear the strain in her voice and at that moment he wished more than 
 anything that he was there with her.
 
 "Mac, I'm sorry" Harm said softly. "I don't know what else to say except I'm 
 just so glad that you're okay. I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank 
 Seth for what he did. He saved your life and our baby's life."
 
 "I'm sure he'll be the first to tell you he was just doing his duty" Mac 
 said quietly. "But yes, I do feel that I owe him quite a bit."
 
 "When are you coming home?"
 
 "I hope you'll understand that I don't feel quite right just running off 
 after what happened" Mac replied. "I'm hoping to be able to come back on 
 Saturday, but I don't want to just leave Seth."
 
 "I understand" Harm said quietly, though he wished she was coming home right 
 that second. He needed to see her, to hold her. To make sure she was really 
 okay.
 
 "I wish you were here" Mac whispered as she fought her own tears. "It's been 
 a very long day and right now I just wish you were here to hold me."
 
 "I wish I was too" Harm whispered. "I love you Sarah."
 
 "I love you too" Mac said softly. "I have to go. I promise I'll call you 
 tomorrow and let you know what's happening, okay."
 
 She was gone and he gently hung up the phone. She was okay but the 
 realization that she could have been killed was still fresh in his mind. If 
 Seth hadn't pushed her out of the way, he might very well have lost her.
 
 "Harm, is everything okay?" Trish asked softly. "Mac's okay right?"
 
 "This time" Harm whispered. "Mom she could have been killed. Our baby could 
 have killed."
 
 "Harm, what happened?"
 
 He recounted what Mac had told him, both women's eyes widening with alarm.
 
 "Harm I never realized how dangerous your job is" Trish said quietly.
 
 "And until I married Mac it never bothered me" Harm replied. "This is why I 
 was so upset when the Admiral said she was going to Mayport. Sometimes it is 
 dangerous and now with her pregnant, I don't know what I'd do if anything 
 ever happened to her or the baby."
 
 "I know you always said the Navy was your life but have you ever consider 
 giving JAG up?" Trish asked.
 
 "We had talked about it" Harm said softly. "Before the accident. How we 
 would leave JAG one day and come up here. Maybe start our own little 
 practice and raise our kids here in this farmhouse. Watch our kids grow up 
 here while we grew old." He smiled at the thought, him and Mac with the next 
 generation of Rabb's. And then suddenly another memory flashed in his head. 
 The next generation of Rabbs. He'd had this conversation with someone else 
 before.
 
 "I remember those dreams" Trish whispered as she felt the tears brimming. 
 "Your father and I always dreamed of coming back here one day. We never got 
 the chance."
 
 "I know" he said softly. "Dad and Gramps told me. And Dad says to tell you 
 he loves you."
 
 For a moment Grams and Trish stared at him, neither sure what he'd just 
 said. "Harm, what did you say?" Grams asked quietly.
 
 "I talked to Dad and Gramps" Harm replied. "They told me that Sarah and I 
 were going to get the chance to make our dream come true."
 
 "When did you talk to them?" Grams prodded. She had no doubt that Peter had 
 talked to Harm. She'd felt his presence with her the entire time she'd been 
 at the hospital.
 
 "I don't know. I just remember seeing both of them. And them telling me that 
 if I didn’t start showing some of that Rabb fight there was going to be one 
 very upset Marine."
 
 Trish simply stared at her son. She'd always known the connection between 
 him and his father had been great, but she never realized just how strong it 
 was. And for some reason she believed everything her son was telling her.
 
 "Mom, you okay?" Harm asked softly. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I just 
 suddenly remembered all this. As soon as we started talking about Mac and I 
 coming up here and living I remembered talking to Dad and Gramps."
 
 "You didn't upset me" Trish said as she gave him a small smile. "I was just 
 thinking how close you and your father are despite the fact he hasn't been 
 with you for the past 30 years."
 
 "But he has mom. He and Gramps are always with us."
 
 "Yes they are" Grams whispered. "And they must have been looking out for 
 Sarah tonight."
 
 **********************************************************
 Friday passed quietly with Harm waiting anxiously for Mac's call. When she 
 did finally call, he didn't miss the tiredness in her voice.
 
 "So when do you think you'll be home?" Harm asked, trying very much not to 
 whine. He knew she was dealing with enough and didn't need him on top of it.
 
 "I'm not sure" Mac sighed. "I've got everything just about wrapped up here 
 and Seth is supposed to be discharged tomorrow. "
 
 "So why can't you come home?"
 
 "Well, I feel a little bad about leaving Seth" Mac said quietly. "And before 
 you starting thinking the worst it's only because he doesn’t have any family 
 in DC to stay with. He says he'll be fine alone but after everything he did, 
 well, I feel like I should do something to help."
 
 Harm waited a second before replying, hoping he managed to keep most of the 
 jealousy out of his voice. "I suppose you want to stay in DC with him?"
 
 "Actually, I was thinking of having him come to Gram's for the weekend" Mac 
 replied.

"Uh...I don't know if that's...," Harm stammered and then suddenly as if in slow 
motion his imagination played before him the shooting.  He imagined his wife, his 
pregnant wife, walking along next to her partner, the man Harm swore would have 
cared more about the mission than his partner.  He imagined them being 
ambushed, and saw Seth Hawkins pushing her aside, taking the bullet in his 
shoulder that was meant for her.

"Sarah yes, please do bring him."  Harm's voice was suddenly clear and firm.  "If 
he needs a place to stay and recover he's welcome here for as long as he needs."

"Thanks," she smiled.  "Now I just have to talk him into it."

"You want me to talk to him?  I need to anyway."

"Harm he's down in his room," she told him.  "You and he will have a lot of chance 
to talk this weekend since neither of you are going to do any kayaking on the river.  
Unless you hear from me, assume we're going to get a flight out early in the 
morning and that we'll drive up with AJ and Sydney."

"OK that's good.  God I miss you."  Harm gave a long sigh.  "Mac are you sure 
you're OK?  You're sounding not good right now."

"Harm please.  Yes I'm fine.  You know the reports that have to be filed after 
something like this, plus I've been worried about Seth.  I owe him big time."

"As do I," he said softly, "and I'm not going to waste any time telling him so.  But 
you still sound tired."

"I am and on that note I'm going to bed.  Early flight remember Flyboy.  But before 
I go, I want to hear that you're OK yourself."

"I am, promise, but worried about you and wanting you in my arms."

"And you have no idea how much at this moment I would want that too," she 
sighed.  "But soon.  This time tomorrow night we'll be together.  Good night Harm.  
I love you.  We'll be together real soon."

"Yes we will," he answered.  "I love you.  More than I can say Sarah."

"Harm you're making me start to cry.  I'm going now."  She resolutely hung up the 
phone and walked down to Ethan's room.

"You OK?"

"Fine thanks," Ethan smiled.  "But I don't think Harm knows you're watching after 
me so close."

"Oh he probably does.  He just doesn't want to think about it."

"You're much in love with your husband Mrs. Rabb."

"Tell me about it," she grinned.  "I've loved him for so long it must have been from 
the day we met.  

"You didn't tell him about that did you?"  Ethan gestured to her arm, the lower half 
bandaged heavily.

"No I didn't," she admitted sheepishly.  "I plan to tell him the whole story, but I 
want him to be able to see I'm fine when I do it."

"You were bleeding badly they told me remember."

"Well we can leave that part out," she smiled.  "All I know is if you hadn't pushed 
me, I wouldn't have a baby inside me now and I'd be lying in one of these beds or 
worse.  And Harm will have a lot to say to you about that--he's already started.  
Which brings me to my next point.  This is what's going to happen.  I'm going 
home to Belleville in the morning and you're coming with me.  You're going to stay 
there where there's someone to keep an eye on you until you can manage better."

"I don't think so," he yelped.  "Mac I'm a stranger to these people, except your 
husband who doesn't really like me."

"That was then," she smiled again.  "And there are no strangers around Grams--
none.  The Admiral and everyone from the office are coming up for the long 
weekend.  It's supposed to be beautiful, hot and sunny, so there will be swimming 
in the river, picnicking on the grass and church on Sunday.  I want you to come."

"I can manage OK," he protested.

"Colonel in case you haven't noticed, your arm is strapped to your chest.  You 
can't even zip your own trou at the moment.  Don't make me talk to the Admiral.  
Please.  This is something we can do--a very small something--to repay what you 
did."
===========================
Rabb Farm
Saturday 130 PM

"Harm I know you're not pacing," Grams warned from upstairs.

"Uh no ma'am," he yelled back.  "Why don't I go wait on the porch."  >No rug out 
there< he muttered.

Mac had called the hour before and assured him that everything was on time.  
She and Seth had arrived from Mayport and were with AJ and Sydney.  Bud and 
Harriet, with baby AJ, were coming up in Josh's van with him and Mollie and the 
kids.

He was barely hanging on when two hours later, AJ's familiar SUV pulled into the 
driveway.  Harm was almost to the car, using his cane, when AJ got the back door 
open, and he assisted Seth out.  

"You doing OK Colonel?"

"Yes sir, but I'm not sorry to be here," Seth smiled and his eyes met Harm's.  
"Thank you for having me."

"Colonel," Harm nodded.  "We'll have some talking to do but right now I want to 
see my wife thank you."

Mac stepped out behind Seth and the bandage on her arm seemed to have 
enlarged three times its size and developed neon flashing lights.

Harm's eyes fixated on it at once, holding there a few seconds in shock, and then 
moved to her face.  "Mac you told me--you promised me--you weren't hurt."

"No I told you I was OK," she reminded him, her arms going around him at once.  
"I am.  It's just a graze.  This shot was just ahead of the one that got Seth's 
shoulder.  Thanks to him this is all that happened to me."
His eyes remained locked on it for a few seconds before he was finally able 
 to pull himself back to her attention. "You can tell me all about it inside" 
 Harm said finally. "And if I don't like your version, I'll get the real one 
 from Seth."
 
 "You'll get the real one from me" Mac retorted. "Harm, I didn't see any need 
 to upset you by telling you about it then. I wanted to tell you in person so 
 you wouldn't be thinking the worst."
 
 "Okay, maybe you're right" Harm sighed. "I probably would have been more 
 upset because I couldn't see you. But even just knowing this happened." He 
 shuddered as he looked down at her arm and she gave him a big smile.
 
 "I'm fine" she said softly.
 
 "You must be Seth" Grams said as she reached him. "We're very happy to have 
 you with us. And if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask."
 
 "Thank you ma'am" Seth replied. "I appreciate you having me."
 
 "There's no ma'am's here" Grams smiled as she helped him along. "Everyone 
 calls me Grams and I expect you to do the same."
 
 "Uh, sure Grams" Seth stammered.
 
 "Now I know you've had a long trip" Grams continued. "If you'd like to rest 
 upstairs, the bedrooms are all set up. Of course we've also got some chairs 
 set up outside in the shade if you want to join us out there. As soon as the 
 others get here we'll have some lunch."
 
 "I think I can handle a little time outside" Seth replied.
 
 Hours later the group slowly sat in front of the bonfire along side the 
 river, an evening of hot dogs and smores planned.
 
 "This is just what I needed" Mac sighed contentedly as she lay against Harm on 
 the blanket, set back aways from the others so they could talk.
 
 "You're feeling okay right?" Harm fretted and Mac smiled before placing a 
 gentle kiss on his lips.
 
 "Yes I'm fine, so stop worrying."
 
 "I'll never stop worrying" Harm said as he pulled her closer. She closed her 
 eyes, enjoying the peacefulness of the country again.
 
 "Harm, promise me you'll consider coming back here" Mac said softly. "I know 
 right now getting back to JAG is the only thing that matters to you, but at 
 least promise me you'll consider it."
 
 "I will" Harm said softly. "Especially after the other night. Mac if 
 anything had happened to you, it would have been my fault. All I kept 
 thinking after AJ called was how you'd kept telling me you were ready to 
 leave JAG."
 
 "When we leave JAG, I want it to be our decision together. Not me deciding 
 that we should leave. I want it to be us."
 
 "And that day will come" Harm promised. "But right now, I have to do this."
 
 "I know you do" Mac said quietly. "And I'm right here beside you the whole 
 way."
 
 "And that's why I love you so much" Harm whispered before their lips met in 
 another kiss.
 
 ************************************************************
 "Goodness it's going to be a hot one" Grams said as she stepped onto the 
 back porch following the church services the next afternoon.
 
 "I bet Mollie and Brandon would like to go down to the river and play" Mac 
 grinned and was met with a chorus of yes yes.
 
 "Can we go now" Mollie asked excitedly.
 
 "Lunch first" Maggie spoke up. "Then we'll go later."
 
 Mac had barely finished eating when Mollie and Brandon were tugging at her 
 to take them down to the river.
 
 "Okay, Okay" Mac grinned. "Harriet, you want to bring little AJ down with 
 us? I'm sure he'd love to cool off too."
 
 "Of course" Harriet replied. "I might join them. I didn’t think it was going 
 to be this warm."
 
 In the end the men decided they were going to watch the baseball game, and 
 it was the women who headed down to the river.  Harm took advantage of the 
 fact that Mac was gone and motioned for Seth to follow him outside while the 
 other's watched the game.
 
 "I wanted to say thank you" Harm said quietly as he and Seth walked the back 
 yard. "You saved Mac's life and our babies life and I can never thank you 
 enough for that."
 
 "No need to thank me" Seth replied. "I'm just glad I was there at the right 
 time. And honestly Harm, I didn't even think about it. I would have done the 
 same thing no matter who was standing there."
 
 Harm nodded. "And I owe you a bit of an apology. When AJ told me you were 
 going with Mac, well I wasn't too happy. I was afraid you'd be more worried 
 about the case than my wife. I'm glad I was wrong."
 
 "It's okay" Seth smiled. "You love your wife very much and you were 
 concerned about her. And I'm sure it's not easy to see her going on an 
 investigation with someone else. You were used to being the one covering her 
 six."
 
 "No it's not" Harm admitted. "Just like it wasn't easy to see you sitting in 
 my office. And while I'm apologizing I guess I need to apologize for my 
 behavior last week when Mac brought me to JAG."
 
 "Harm, stop apologizing. You've gone through a rough time. I'm not holding 
 anything against you. Hell I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I walked into 
 work and found out someone had taken over my office and was now partnered 
 with my wife."
 
 "Still I shouldn't have taken it out on you" Harm sighed. "And thank you for 
 being so easy going about it."
 
 "Well I have to admit when Sarah first mentioned coming up here I wasn't to 
 sure it would be a good idea" Seth replied. "But I have to say, I'm really 
 glad you invited me. This place is wonderful. And Grams is something else"
 
 "Yeah she is" Harm smiled.
 
 **************************************
 Grams sat on the edge of the river with Trish, looking up at the sky.
 
 "What's wrong Grams?" Trish asked.
 
 "Something's not right" Grams said quietly. "Look at the trees. Few minutes 
 ago the wind was blowing like crazy. Now all of a sudden it's gotten still."
 
 "You think there's a storm coming?" Trish asked.
 
 "Sure feels like it" Grams replied. "I think maybe we should think about 
 heading back."
 
 *****************************************************
 
 Inside the farm house the men had gathered around the TV and it wasn't until 
 the game was interrupted with a weather bulletin that they realized how dark 
 it had suddenly gotten.
 
 "A tornado warning has just been issued for…"
 
 "Mac" Harm cried as he leapt out of his chair, noting at once that the 
 stillness has been replaced by a sudden burst of wind.
 
 "Harm, calm" AJ ordered noticing at once the panicked looks on the other 
 men's faces. He was going to have to keep the others calm, though at the 
 same time his mind was on Sydney. "I'm sure they're on their way back up."
=================================================
"Grams does it tornado around here?" Trish asked anxiously, looking at the 
swirling mass of dark clouds.

"Peter built a storm cellar years ago but all I ever do is keep my canned jars down 
there," she gasped.  "I've never seen the likes of that.  We get bad thunderstorms 
here--but that's nothing I've ever seen."

"Let's head back.  But Grams what about Sarah and the kids--Maggie and Harriet 
too?"

Grams scanned the water without seeing them.  "They've gone down around the 
bend with the current I'm sure. They'll be OK.  They'll know to get out."

"We can't leave them," Trish yelled over the rising noise of the wind.

"They'll go back the other way--Sarah knows that path," Grams told her, grabbing 
her arm.  "Now come on.  It's the men I hope have enough sense to stay put."  
She began tugging her reluctant daughter in law toward the house, one eye to the 
sky.

==============================================
"Storm coming," Mac called and pointed to the sky just as lightening streaked 
across.  "Out of the water, and where's Brandon?"  She looked around the 
immediate area and called his name.

"Mac I told him he could swim further down with the current," Maggie shouted.  
"Down to the big tree and then to come right back."

"Moommeeeee," Mollie screamed as another lightening streak split the sky and 
the thunder echoed in the valley.

"Maggie, take Mollie and help Harriet and AJ," Mac ordered, very much in charge 
at that moment as she looked to Harriet, trying to hold a now screaming two year 
old.  "And where's Sydney?  Oh God where's Sydney?"

"She went to pick flowers in the meadow remember," Maggie shouted.  
"Mac...Brandon...and Sydney."

"Sydney will know to go back," Mac told her confidently.  "You do what I told you.  
I'll get Brandon and get him moving."

"I can't..." Maggie wailed, and Mollie and AJ added terrified screams to that.  

"Move it," Mac shouted roughly.  "Maggie trust me to get your son.  Go."

Maggie lifted Mollie and helped Harriet with AJ as best she could.  AJ was kicking 
hard in his fright of the noise and the wind, and she was terrified that the baby, the 
precious pregnancy, could be hurt.

Mac watched them for a moment and then sprinted along the river bank, looking 
for Brandon.  A few minutes later she spotted the familiar dark head as he 
attempted to make his way to the bank, struggling against the wind whipped 
current.  "Brandon this way," she screamed.  "Brandon."  To her horror, she 
realized he was rapidly weakening.  Without a second thought she plunged into 
the water, realizing her arm was going to hinder her, but also realizing that the 
small boy did not have a chance without some help.  

"Brandon, take my hand," she screamed above the wind, extending her good arm 
to him and trying to keep herself afloat at the same time.  

Brandon gave her one panicked shake of his head and tried to head in the 
opposite direction.  

"NO," she screamed and with surprising strength threw herself forward, catching 
his arm and yanking him to her.  "I said come."
====================================
"We've got to go after them," Harm said frantically, his eyes on the angry sky as 
the men gathered on the porch.

"I think Harm could be right," Josh nodded and Bud quickly agreed.  

"No one is to move from here," AJ commanded.  "I know technically I'm not in 
charge but humor me.  They will come back here.  And if we're not here they're 
just going to run back and look for us."

"I can't....I can't stand here and know she's out there," Harm screamed, edging his 
way toward the steps.

"Rabb freeze," AJ shouted, and Harm did so, out of habit if nothing else.

"Someone's coming," Seth pointed.

"Sydney, oh God thank you," AJ breathed.  "And there's....it's Grams and Trish."

Frank shouted his wife's name and stepped off the porch to wrap her into his 
arms, helping Grams at the same time.  They were just back onto the porch when 
Seth pointed again.  "Harriet and Maggie."  

Bud and Josh sprang from the porch and shortly had them back.

"Mac, where's Mac?" Harm screamed, grabbing hold of Maggie and then realizing 
she was in tears.  "And Brandon?  Maggie tell me.  Where are Mac and 
Brandon?"

"Brandon was in the river, and Mac said she would get him and come," Maggie 
sobbed.  "She made me come back with Harriet and Maggie.  I don't know what..."

Josh gently pushed Harm aside and took Maggie in his arms.  "Honey calm now 
they're going to be OK."

The wind picked up at that second, and the sky darkened so black it was purple.  
It was as if the world was about to end with the roar of a runaway freight train.

"Shelter now," Grams screamed and looked to AJ as she pointed to the sky.  
"There look."  The funnel dipped low from the clouds, coming in over the river. 

"Shelter," Grams screamed again, and ran to open the wooden doors that leaned 
against the side of the house.  Between her and AJ they herded everyone down, 
everyone but Harm who was clinging to the post at the top of the porch steps, 
screaming Sarah over and over into the wind.

"Frank, Josh, get Harm, please," AJ ordered, standing at the ready to close the 
doors.  "Anyway you have to.  I'm not going to explain to Mac when she comes 
back that we let the storm take him."
====================================
Mac meanwhile had pulled Brandon from the river, just in time to see the funnel 
cloud bearing down on them.  Exhausted and shaking from the cold of being wet 
in the wind, she looked around frantically, knowing there was no way to outrun the 
ominous cloud.  

"Mac the big tree, we can climb inside--under the roots.  There's plenty of room.  
Mollie and AJ and I played there remember."  Brandon jumped up and down 
eagerly as he shouted.

"Yeah show me," Mac decided.  "We can't stay here."

Sure enough there were large spaces where the ground had fallen away from the 
roots, leaving cave like openings.  Mac pushed Brandon in ahead of her and 
climbed in after him, pushing him as far back as she could and then covering his 
small body with hers. 

Thus a tree that was a seedling on that river bank when the Redcoats fought the 
Continental Army in the valley, sheltered and saved a small boy and the woman 
who was so cherished by a man waiting a mile away.


 
 **********************************************
 "Harm come on," Josh yelled as he and Frank reached him.
 
 "No" Harm shouted. "I have to find her." He tried to take a step and at that 
 second Josh and Frank grabbed him, pulling him back towards the cellar 
 stairs. He fought unsuccessfully to break free and once they were all inside 
 AJ quickly closed the doors. He remained in front of them, and Harm sank to 
 the floor dejectedly.
 
 "Harm they'll find somewhere to take cover" Grams soothed as she sat down 
 next to him.  "Sarah knows what to do."
 
 "Oh Grams" Harm whispered and began to utter a prayer upwards. He seemed to 
 be doing a lot of that lately and at that moment he prayed harder than he 
 ever had before. "Lord, please keep her safe. I need her in my life. She's 
 my world. Please don’t take her away from me. I can take anything except 
 losing her." As he uttered the quiet words he suddenly realized what he'd 
 said. And he also realized the truth of his words.  Nothing he went through 
 would ever be as bad as losing the woman he loved. They'd been blessed with 
 a love like no other, and to have that taken away would be something he'd 
 never get over.
 
 Beside him, Grams gently reached for his hand. "She'll be okay," Grams said 
 softly. "Faith Harmon."
 
 It was over as quickly as it began and AJ cautiously opened the doors once 
 the howling winds had subsided. Harm was on his feet and making his up the 
 stairs seconds later, intent on finding Mac.
 
 "Harm I'll go with you" Josh said as he climbed out behind him, knowing 
 exactly what Harm was planning on doing.
 
 "They were supposed to be at the river," Harm said as they walked across the 
 yard, now strewn with branches and tree limbs.
 
 "That's where the funnel cloud came over," Josh said quietly and Harm 
 quickened his pace.
 
 "It's over Brandon" Mac sighed as she climbed out. They were cold and wet, 
 but they were both okay. "You saved me again. I'm glad you remembered the 
 tree."
 
 "You would have thought of something" Brandon assured her.
 
 "Come on, let's get back to the house. I hope everyone else is okay." In her 
 mind she was visualizing the house being hit by the funnel cloud and she 
 uttered a silent prayer that everyone was okay. She knew Harm was probably 
 going crazy with worry and she hurried her pace.
 
 Brandon was the first to spot Harm and Josh coming towards them. "Harm, 
 Josh" he yelled as he took off running towards them, nearly knocking Josh 
 down as he flung himself into his arms. Harm hurried as best he could 
 towards Mac and she too flung herself into his arms.
 
 "Oh Sarah, thank god you're okay" Harm whispered as he held her tightly, his 
 tears further wetting her already damp hair.
 
 "Yes I'm okay" she whispered. "Cold, wet and scared but okay."
 
 She shivered in his arms and he wrapped his arms around her tighter. "I love 
 you," he said softly. "And we'll talk more once we get you back and into 
 some dry clothes."
 
 "Is everyone okay?" Mac asked. "And the house."
 
 "Everyone is fine" Harm assured her. "And the house looked okay as well. Now 
 let's get you back."
 
 "Brandon saved the day again" Mac smiled as they walked back, Josh and 
 Brandon in front of them. "He was the one who suggested the tree we hid in."
 
 "I owe you big time Brandon" Harm replied. "Anything you want, you just tell 
 me."
 
 Brandon stopped and turned around to face Harm. "How about that baseball 
 game you promised?" he said quietly. "You, me and Josh."
 
 "I think we can arrange that" Harm smiled as he knelt down in front of the 
 boy. "And I'm sorry about the way I've been acting."
 
 "It's okay" Brandon assured him. "I just thought that you didn't like me 
 anymore. That I'd done something wrong."
 
 "No you didn't do anything wrong" Harm sighed as he gave him a hug. "It's 
 just me. And I promise I'll make it up to you. Come on, let's get you and 
 Mac back to the house."
 
 Hours later Harm and Mac sat together on the old glider on the back porch, 
 enjoying a moment of quiet alone while the others were inside. Mac had 
 changed and was now snuggling comfortably in the arms of the man she loved.
 
 "You okay?" Harm asked for the millionth time.
 
 "I'm perfect now" Mac sighed contentedly. "All I need is right here next to 
 me."
 
 "I know" Harm smiled as he kissed her forehead.
 
 "So were you serious when you told Brandon you'd take him to the game soon?" 
 Mac questioned. "He really has been upset about you not wanting to spend 
 time with him."
 
 "Yes and that's my fault" Harm sighed. "I owe you and everyone else a huge 
 apology for the way I've been acting."
 
 "Go on" Mac prodded. "I'm listening sailor."
 
 "I'm not going to promise that I'm not going to have my moments" Harm said 
 quietly. "But the last few days have taught me that no matter how bad I 
 think my life is, I can deal with it as long as I have you beside me. 
 Nothing would be worse than losing you. So I may never fly a tomcat again. 
 I'll get over it. But only because I know that I have the woman I love with 
 me. And our baby. "
 
 "And you know I'll always be here with you" Mac whispered as she looked up 
 at Harm. "You could never have pushed me away. We're in this together for 
 eternity. And we've still got lots of dreams left to make come true."
 
 "And one day that dream is going to become a reality I promise" Harm said 
 softly. "You and me and our ten kids will be running around this place 
 driving Grams crazy. You think she'd mind."
 
 "I think she'd be ecstatic" Mac grinned. "And so would I. But only when 
 you're ready."
 
 "I love you Sarah Rabb" Harm whispered.
 
 "I love you too"
 
 Grams stood at the door to the porch, looking at the couple in the glider 
 with a smile. They were going to be okay. It hadn't been easy but Grams was 
 sure that the worst of it was behind them now.
 
 "Thank you" she whispered with a look heavenward. "Thank you for looking out 
 for them." She felt a presence beside her and she smiled. "You and Harmon 
 did good Peter" she said softly. "Just keep looking out for them."
 
 
 The End…