TITLE: "A Single Act of Indiscretion"
 AUTHORS:  Anne R. and Pat Steiner
  SUMMARY:    A few hours of poor judgement, a lifetime of consequence.  
 CLASSIFICATION/RATING:   J/S/R/A    PG for language and mild violence.  A Harm-Mac 
romance.  Sigh.
 SPOILERS:  In any of our work, any JAG episode may be referred to.
  FEEDBACK:  If you're so moved but never expected nor begged for.  Addy is 
ssbpmn@aol.com.  Please however, we request you respect the work, and the effort that goes 
into writing it.
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Http://www.capitalcitycollaborations.com also features much of our work.
 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"A Single Act of Indiscretion"
  
  JAG HQ's
 JAN. 2003
  
  "Ma'am he's not giving us a break" Bud complained as he and Mac walked back 
  from the courtroom. "He overruled every objection we had."
  
  "Tell me something I don't know Bud" Mac sighed.
  
  "I thought the Commander would at least be objective" Bud continued. 
  "Weren't you objective when you were on the bench ma'am?"
  
  "I thought I was. It's hard to say Bud. Being behind the bench is totally 
  different. I'm sure Harm is doing his best to stay objective even if doesn't 
  seem like it to us."
  
  With that she broke away and headed to her office, determined to put a bad 
  day behind her. Sturgis had ripped their case to shreds and Harm hadn't done 
  much to help their case. Deep down she knew he was simply doing his job but 
  at the same time it still seemed like he'd been quicker to overrule her than 
  Sturgis.
  
  "Sucks being on the other side doesn't it," he said a short time later as he 
  walked into her office.
  
  "Did I say a word?" she said as she looked up at him.
  
  "No but if looks could kill they'd be pulling my six off the bench" he 
  smiled. "You didn't agree with many of decisions today did you?"
  
  "You want to know my honest opinion?"
  
  "Sure go ahead. I can handle it."
  
  "I think this was the wrong case for you to preside over. I honestly don't 
  think you can be object in the case of these pilots."
  
  "You really believe that?" he asked.
  
  "Yes I do."
  
  "I thought you knew me better than that by now Mac" Harm said quietly. "I've 
  been waiting for my opportunity on the bench and just because the case 
  involves pilots you think I can't be objective."
  
  "Harm you asked what I thought. I'm sure you had similar thoughts about my 
  objectivity when I was on the bench."
  
  "No I didn't. I just thought maybe you were trying to over compensate for 
  the fact that we're closer than you and Sturgis. I never thought you weren't 
  objective."
  
  "Look I shouldn't have said anything. I knew this wasn't going to be easy 
  and we just need to remember that what happens in the courtroom stays in the 
  courtroom."
  
  "Yeah of course" he retorted. "I'll just forget the fact that my partner 
  doesn't think I'm objective on the bench."
  
  "Harm I didn't mean that" she sighed. "Why are you taking this so 
  personally?"
  
  "Never mind. Let's just forget this conversation."
  
  "Good idea" she nodded.
  
  He walked out without another word and she let out a long sigh. Fighting 
  with Harm was the last thing she wanted to do. She knew she shouldn't have 
  said anything about his objectivity on the bench but it has been a 
  frustrating day and she hadn't been able to stop herself.
  
  "Night Bud" Mac said as she walked into his office a half-hour later. "We'll 
  regroup in the morning and figure out where we're going."
  
  "You okay ma'am?" Bud asked.
  
  "No. I made the mistake of talking to Harm and we had words. Just chalk it 
  up to another thing wrong in the day from hell."
  
  "I'm sorry. This isn't easy being on different sides like this is it?"
  
  "No but we'll manage. Harm and I have always managed to put our differences 
  in the courtroom aside."
  
  "Yes ma'am. I'll see you in the morning then."
  
  Two hours later she grabbed her keys and headed out the door to her 
  apartment. She'd done nothing but pace since she'd gotten home and she knew 
  she was never going to sleep if she didn't do something about the argument 
  she and Harm had had. She wanted to clear the air with him before it got any 
  worse.
 
  The drive to the other side of the city took a full forty minutes in the evening traffic, and her 
heart sank as she pulled up to his building and saw his place dark.  "Mackenzie you're such a 
moron.  You should have called first."  
 
 She gave a long sigh of frustration as she thought overwhat she wanted to do.  She and Harm in 
the last six to eight months had been slowly coming together.  The friendship that had been so 
decimated by his sea duty and then by their involvement with other people needed to be set right 
first.  In the months between Jagathon and Afghanistan they had managed to get that far.  
Afghanistan and Bud's injury had turned them in a new direction and it was from there they were 
now proceeding.  Most of the time.  This was one of those times that it seemed tenuous at best, 
and going with the theory that what happens in court stays in court, she hoped she and Harm 
could find some common ground.  But first he would have to be home.
 
 Deciding going back to her apartment was the last thing she wanted to do, she simply pulled into 
a street parking space and waited.  Hopefully he had just gone to the store and would be right 
back.
 
 A long half hour later she was just about to give up when she heard the familiar sound of his 
Vette.  Harm's Vette, but Harm was not alone.  A young woman stepped from the passenger 
side, and she and Harm laughed together as they went into his building, each carrying a bag of 
groceries.  Obviously Mr. Rabb was planning to make a late supper for them.  And obviously this 
was not a good time to talk about the case or them.  Her foot hit the gas and she took off.  Back 
to her apartment to spend a sleepless night.
 ==========
 JAG HQ
 8AM
 
 "Good morning," Harm's cheerful voice greeted her in the coffee room, and she mumbled a reply 
while she prayed over the coffee maker.  Finally it yielded her a cup while he was making tea.  
 
 "Mac everything OK?" he asked softly, walking closer to her.
 
 "Oh just super," she smiled sarcastically.  "Can't wait for my day in court with Mr. Impartiality."  
She bit back any comment about the woman with Harm.  No way would she admit she had 
parked on his street to watch for his return.  Like she was spying.
 
 "That's Your Honor to you," he returned as she pushed past him.
 
 "In your ear."
 
 The day was a day like the previous one, and by the end of the day she was ready to capitulate.  
Sturgis had pretty well destroyed the People's case, with some help from the judge she thought 
bitterly, a thought she decided to keep to herself.  All that remained was closing arguments for 
Monday morning, and that suited her just fine.  She would ask Bud to write it, and would add her 
own touches, and then Sturgis would give his, the members would rule in favor of the pilots, and 
the nightmare would be over.  In the meantime she would avoid Harm for the rest of the day, and 
in fact did quietly slip out ahead of any encounter.  
 
 The woman he was with last night played heavily on her mind when she allowed herself to think 
about it.  That and the strain between them coupled to make her crazy until she felt the 
apartment closing in on her.  Finally she picked up the phone and dialed his number.  "Harm it's 
me.  We have to talk.  I'm coming over."
 
 "Uh. . .yeah sure.  I'm here," he replied, wondering what could be so urgent.
 
 A quick shower and change later, she arrived at his door, her hand poised to knock.  From 
inside there was music, the soft jazz she knew Harm favored of an evening and then another 
sound, that of a woman's soft laughter that came easily to her as the music paused for the 
change of CD.  "No this is not happening," she muttered, turning to go.  She had taken but a step 
when the door opened and the woman stepped through, pulling it with in an inch of closing 
before calling, "good night Harm and thank you again.  You were great."  
 
 Mac immediately recognized her as the same woman from the night before and she shrank back 
a few steps in surprise as the door closed firmly.  The woman turned and had to stop short to 
avoid bumping into Mac.  "Hello.  Is there something I can help you with?  Though I'm not real 
familiar with this building yet."
 
 Mac stared at her for a long moment.  Her blonde hair skimmed her shoulders, and her low cut 
knit top showed off exactly  what Harm might see in her.  "Thank you no.  I'm sure I'm in the 
wrong place."  Before the surprised visitor could say anything further, Mac ran for the stairwell, 
not slowing until she reached her car.
   
 Once inside she willed back the tears that threatened. If Harm wanted to see 
 other people he could. It wasn't like they were dating. In fact, they'd 
 never even been on a date. Talking about a case while having dinner was not a 
 date.
 
 Finally calm she pulled out of his lot and headed towards home. But as she 
 neared home she decided going back to an empty apartment wasn't what she 
 needed. All she would do was think about Harm and the woman. And how once 
 again it seemed so hopeless that she and Harm would ever be anything more 
 than friends.
 
 The grumble of her stomach reminded her she hadn't eaten dinner yet and with 
 a sigh she went in search of something that wasn't just fast food The 
 Melrose Hotel loomed nearby and she remembered Meredith mentioning to her 
 that she had enjoyed the cozy Liberty Bar restaurant inside.  Ten minutes 
 later she settled at a high top table near the bar, as the restaurant itself 
 was full.
 
 "Can I get you a drink ma'am?" the young man waiting tables asked her a 
 moment later.
 
 "Just tonic water with lemon" she replied.
 
 "I'll be right back with that while you decide on dinner."
 
 "God this place is mobbed."
 
 She looked up at the voice, finding herself looking into the bluest eyes 
 she'd ever seen. Her eyes quickly traveled over the rest of the man dressed 
 in what she guessed was a fairly expensive business suit.
 
 "I'm sorry" he smiled. "I'm just talking to myself. I didn't realize this 
 was the happening place tonight. I just wanted to get dinner before I 
 crashed for the night."
 
 "The food is supposed to be really good" Mac smiled back.
 
 "I guess. Well I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll just go find out from the 
 hostess how long the wait is for a table."
 
 "Would you like to join me?" She was more surprised than he was by her words 
 and he smiled more.
 
 "Surely your boyfriend will be joining you soon."
 
 "I don't have a boyfriend." It was true, she didn't. Even if she had 
 believed her and Harm might have some kind of relationship, that was no 
 longer appeared to be the case. "And if you like, I wouldn't mind having company. I'm not 
 really used to eating alone."
 
 "I'd love to join you," he said as he sat down. "Thank you. By the way I'm 
 Ken. Ken Hamilton."
 
 "Sarah Mackenzie."
 
 "You from the area?" he asked.
 
 "Yeah I live not to far from here" she nodded. "How about you?"
 
 "Just here for a business conference" he replied. "I'm from Williamsburg. I 
 was hoping to get out of here tonight and head home but the conference ran 
 late and I wasn't up to a four-hour drive on a Friday night in the traffic to Williamsburg. 
 So I booked the room for another night and here I am."
 
 "I don't blame you. Traffic on I-95 is miserable this time of the night."
 
 "I made the mistake a month ago" he smiled. "Three hours of stop and go just 
 to get to Fredericksburg. This time I said forget it, I'll just leave in the 
 morning when there's no one on the roads."
 
 "Your water ma'am" the waiter said as he returned. "Can I get you something 
 sir?"
 
 "Actually I'll just have what she's having" Ken replied. "Thank you."
 
 "So what kind of business are you in?" Mac asked once they were alone again.
 
 "Software. I have my own company that I built from the ground up. What about 
 you?"
 
 "I'm a lawyer for the JAG Corp. I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the Marines."
 
 "You're a Marine?" he smiled. "Wow. Last time I saw a Marine she didn't look 
 anything like you."

"I'm going to do you a favor and not tell you how many times I've heard that line," she smiled, 
taking a long drink and using the opportunity to size up the man sitting with her.  No wedding 
ring, probably somewhere in between her age and Harm's.  Soft brown hair with no gray, and 
obviously from the way he filled out the casual jacket he wore, he made liberal use of his 
company's health club.

"So you're a lawyer and a Marine," he went on.  "You've seen combat?"

"I've seen action yeah.  I mean I wasn't in the Gulf, but I was in Bosnia and a few other places 
under fire, and you know what you must be incredibly easy to talk to else I would have moved 
away by now.  I'm just not the type to open up to people."

He smiled again, a huge bright smile, nothing like Harm's but special in its own way.  

"So what does Ken Hamilton do when he's not at boring conferences or hunched over his 
computer?  And I bet before you answer, there's a girlfriend taking up your spare time."

"No.  No way," he assured her.   "I'm into a lot of sports, both watching and participating.  I play 
on the company's softball and bowling leagues.  I do some flag football on warm Sundays in the 
fall.  Play golf when it's good for business.  And then I love to watch basketball all winter."

"Well I'm not a sports nut that's for sure," Mac smiled.  "I enjoy music and movies, the occasional 
play at the Kennedy."

"I didn't say I was totally uncultured," he countered.  "I have season tickets to the orchestra and 
ballet."

"Wow OK you managed to impress me with that."

"I'd like to take you sometime."

A sudden vision of Harm swam before her, and she dismissed it at once.  There was no 
commitment there; and being friends only meant seeing other people was allowed.  "Something 
could maybe be arranged."

Her steak sandwich and his pasta dish arrived at the same time and they spent the next hour 
talking of many things and trying to ignore the increasing din around them.  Finally she took a last 
drink.  "OK I'm about at my capacity for noise and now that my belly's full I think I'll head out.  
Ken, this has been great thank you."

"It huh. . .it doesn't have to end," he said softly, and his fingers brushed across her arm.  "I've got 
a super quiet room upstairs and I'm betting there's a movie on the pay per view you haven't seen.  
You've nothing special to hurry home to do you?"

"You've got that right," she sighed, looking him over again.  It had been so long since she had 
really spent a pleasant evening that wasn't about work and she truly was in no hurry to cut it 
short.  Paying no mind to the little voice in her head that was sending up a red flag, she smiled 
and nodded, letting him take her arm.
===================
HARM's APARTMENT
Same Time

Mac's phone call to him had been forgotten in a flurry of activity and he was just settling in front 
of the basketball game when there was tapping at his door, and the voice he now recognized.  
"Harm it's Brittany.  Your new neighbor whom you're going to get that restraining order for."

"Nah.  You should have seen the last one," he called.  "Hang loose for a second."  He grabbed a 
shirt and opened the door.  "Problem?"

"Jason has been trying to call me and the cell phone is dead and I don't know where the charger 
is.  Have I mentioned how much I hate moving?  Coming to D.C. seemed like such a simple thing 
to do a month ago when I was offered the job with Congresswoman Helton.  Now I wish I had 
joined the circus.  He's going to worry if he doesn't hear from me.  He's sure I'm going to be 
assaulted in my bed before he joins me.  Phone?  Please?  And I'm so sorry."

"Phone is on the desk and that's what neighbors are for."

He returned to the game only to have him call her name a few seconds later.  "Cute picture.  
Your girlfriend?"  

"Uh, sort of," he smiled.  "Sarah Mackenzie.  That was taken in Afghanistan last summer."

"Pretty lady. . .but someone I've seen.  OK no that's not possible I guess, but I'm not usually 
wrong."

"About what?"

"Well, when I was here before, this woman, or her twin, was just outside your door.  She looked 
lost and confused and I offered to help, but she said no she was simply in the wrong place and 
then she ran. . .and I mean ran. . .to the stairs."
  
 "She was here?" he demanded, the memory of her call now flooding back to her. "When?"
 
 "When I was over at your place thank you for setting up the stereo. I walked 
 out of your place and she was there and I asked her if she needed help and 
 she took of running."
 
 "No" he groaned.
 
 "Is something wrong?" Brittany asked.
 
 "Nothing except she probably is thinking you and I. . .never mind it's 
 complicated."
 
 "Thinking we're what?" Brittany frowned. "Oh you mean sleeping together?"
 
 "Yes. And I need to go find her and tell her that's not the case."
 
 "Definitely not. Nothing personal Harm but Jason would kick your six if you 
 laid a finger on me. He's got a good twenty pounds on you and being an ex 
 football player he surely would be able to take you."
 
 "When I meet Jason, I hope you'll tell him I was the guy who helped you out 
 when you got here but didn't touch you."
 
 "I'm teasing. And I'm sorry if your girlfriend got the wrong idea."
 
 "She's not really my girlfriend and that's part of the problem" Harm sighed 
 as he reached for his coat. "And it's not your fault. But I do need to go 
 find her and explain to her that she's thinking the wrong thing."
 
 "Harm I'm sorry. I hope you get it worked out."
 
 "Me too" he sighed before running out the door.
 
 **********************
 Suite 345
 Melrose Hotel
 
 "Nice room" Mac smiled as Ken led her inside.
 
 "Being the president of the company has its privileges" he smiled. "Like 
 booking the nicer room. Have a seat on the sofa. Can I get you anything to 
 drink?"
 
 "No I'm fine," she said as she sat down on the sofa. "Thanks."
 
 "Do you mind if I change into something more comfortable?" he asked. "And 
 I'm sorry that just came out totally wrong."
 
 "No it's okay" Mac laughed. "I assume you mean getting out of the suit and 
 into something like sweats."
 
 "Exactly. I'll be right back."
 
 He emerged from the bathroom in sweats and a sweatshirt and sat down beside 
 her on the sofa. "Anything good on pay per view?"
 
 "You chose," she said as she handed him the remote. "I'm game for anything. 
 With the exception of the Halloween one."
 
 "Have you seen Spiderman yet?" he asked and when she shook her head he 
 turned it on. "You can get comfortable if you'd like" he smiled and she 
 scooted over on the sofa closer to him. He reached his arm around behind her 
 and she allowed him to pull her closer to him.
 
 **********************
 Mac's Apartment
 Same Time
 
 "Damn" Harm muttered when he arrived at her apartment only to find her car 
 not there. He'd tried calling several times but there had been no answer and 
 now he knew why. Her cell phone yielded him nothing and he pounded the 
 steering wheel in frustration. He had no idea where she might have gone or 
 how long it would be before she came back. He waited a long half-hour before 
 deciding he would call her in the morning.
 
 ****************************
 Melrose Hotel
 Suite 345
 
 Two hours later the movie was over but Mac made no attempt to move away from 
 Ken. Cuddling in his arms felt so good, especially when she felt so alone in 
 life.
 
 "You're comfortable aren't you" he smiled as he looked down at her.
 
 "So comfortable I could go to sleep" she said softly. "Thanks for the movie. 
 I guess I should be going."
 
 "You don't have to" he whispered. "I don't want you to."
 
 His leaned towards her and for a moment she was about to turn away. But 
 something wouldn't let her and she soon found herself wrapped in his arms as 
 their lips met in a passionate kiss.
 
 "Sarah" he breathed when they parted. "Sarah I want you. Now."
 The words she wanted to hear from Harm were coming from another man but at 
 that moment it didn't matter. Someone wanted her. Someone found her 
 attractive.
 
 "I want you too" she managed before his mouth covered hers in another long 
 kiss.
 
 He pulled her from the sofa as they kissed and they stumbled their way to 
 the bed, not breaking away from each other until he pulled her shirt up. 
 Only then did they stop and only for a moment that it took to slide her 
 shirt off.
 
 "God you are so beautiful" he whispered as he lowered her to the bed, his 
 lips making their way down from her lips.
 
 He leaned back and he quickly slid off his sweats and sweatshirts before his 
 lips once again found hers while his hands work to remove the last of the 
 restricting clothing from her.  It was not Harm, but for that time she could will that it was.  That it 
was the man she loved holding her and saying all those sweet words to her.  Wanting her, 
wanting to love her and be loved by her.
 
 Two hours later she slid out of his arms and reached for her clothes. She 
 hadn't planned to make love to him but she did,  and now she suddenly wanted out of the 
 room. She didn't wake him, instead quickly dressing and hurrying out as the 
 tears started.

Once inside her car she leaned over the steering wheel and let the tears come.  Blessing the fact 
that the parking garage was dark and deserted, she cried until the sobs turned to hiccups and 
her eyes were swollen and red.  Finally she blew her nose and drove the short distance to her 
apartment.

Inexplicably as soon as she was inside she locked the door and leaned back against it taking 
several long breaths for calm.   A calm that did not readily come as her insides churned with what 
she had done.  "My god Mackenzie have you lost your mind.  What if that guy had been some 
kind of pervert or criminal.  What if he has some disease.  What if. . . " Her thoughts churned as 
she realized she was speaking aloud.   "And what I wouldn't give for a drink right now."  Instead 
she ran for the shower leaving a trail of clothes in her wake and stood under the hot water for a 
long time forcing herself to take deep cleansing breaths.  By the time the hot water had given out, 
she had somewhat reconciled herself to what had happened. To what she had done.  To how 
foolish she had been.

She knew without looking it was now 5AM and the gray dawn was just beginning to rise over the 
city.  Coffee. . .no tea would be better. . .and then maybe some sleep.  And maybe she would 
wake up and find out it was still Friday morning.

She did in fact manage a troubled sleep and was tossing still when the phone rang.  "Colonel 
Mackenzie," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"Mac?"

"Yeah it's me.  What?"

"I need to talk to you.  I'll be right over OK?  Stay where you are now."

"Uh. . .yeah OK," she mumbled once more, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror and 
shaking her head.  Like she could go anywhere in her present state.
==========
Harm hung up the phone with a long sigh of relief mixed with worry.  Mac was home, but she 
sounded anything but herself.  Jamming his long legs into jeans and his feet into his Nikes he 
threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed his car keys, trying not to imagine what she must have 
thought when she saw Brittany exit his apartment last night.

The Saturday morning traffic was light and he accomplished the drive with breaking only a few 
speed ordinances. 

Mac meanwhile had managed to get out of bed and discovered she had a new problem.  
Soreness.  It had been a long time.  Oddly, she began to calculate how long and came up with 
somewhere in the two weeks leading up to the rehearsal dinner, and the night she had almost 
lost Harm.  Nothing a warm bath and some Tylenol wouldn't help she decided, and then shook 
her head as she thought of the possible consequences of what she had done.  "Not smart 
Mackenzie.  Not smart at all."

The ringing of the doorbell sent her thoughts to what she had seen at Harm's and away from her 
own circumstance and by the time she had opened the door, she had managed to work up a 
small case of outrage.  "You don't really owe me an explanation," she flung at him as soon as 
she saw his face.

"Oh yes I do," he said softly, stepping inside without waiting for her invitation.  "Mac about. . .my 
god what happened to you?  Are you all right?  Are you sick?  You look like hell Marine, and only 
your best friend could really tell you that I guess but you do.  What happened to you.  Answer 
me."

"Whoa wait I'm not one of those witnesses you get information out of mister so modify your tone 
please, and in fact lower your voice.  My head is pounding here."

"You've been drinking."

"I have not been drinking.  No.  And an accusation like that is not what I need right now thank 
you."

"OK I'm sorry.  I should have asked if you'd been drinking instead of accusing.  In fact I should 
know better."

"Yes you've got that right.  And like I said, you don't need to explain to me what you and your 
little girlfriend were doing.  It's hardly any of my business.  She does look like your type however. 
I'll give her that."

"Mac come and sit down first of all."  He reached for her arm and she planted her feet firmly.  
"OK don't.  But Brittany is nothing for you to be concerned about."

"Well that's good because I'm not in the least," she retorted.  "Brittany huh.  Yeah that pretty 
much suits her I guess.  Anyway, if you and the little blonde trollop want to spend your nights all 
cozy, I'm sure that's not my affair--so to speak."

He was about to answer that when her lawyer's mind kicked into gear and she put her fingers on 
his lips.  "No wait.  How do you even know what I'm upset about.  You didn't see me at your 
place.  You couldn't have known I was there."

"No I didn't see you.  But Brittany did.  She made the connection from seeing you in the hall to 
the picture on my desk.  You know the one.  And I knew right away what you were thinking and I 
drove over here as soon as she told me because I couldn't get you on the phone.  Mac I was 
worried about you last night."

"I was out," she replied vaguely.  "But no matter there.  Like I said, it's not a big deal.  You and 
she. . ."

"Her name is Brittany Stone.  She arrived in town on Tuesday in a car that barely made it from 
Indiana.  She's coming to work on the Hill.   Her fiance, Jason something I can't remember his 
last name, will be here next week to move in with her.  In the meantime because her car is in the 
shop waiting on a part that's on a loading dock god knows where, I was helping her get some 
food in on Thursday night, and then yesterday her stuff came and I was helping her set up the 
stereo earlier and do a couple of other things.  She needed my phone twice too so for the 
evening we were kind of back and forth.  Obviously one of the times  as she left, she saw you."

Mac's eyes had never left his face as he spoke and when he stopped she sank into a chair, 
burying her face in her hands.  There was no doubt in her mind he was telling the truth, and that 
made her feel all the worse.  

"Why did you run?" he asked gently, kneeling next to her.  
  
  "I don't know" she whispered without removing her face from her hands. She 
  should have known him better than that. "I just assumed"
  
  "You assumed that I'd taken up with someone else and not told you?" he 
  frowned. "Come on Mac. Do you really think that little of me?"
  
  "I don't know what I was thinking" she sighed as she finally looked up at 
  him. "I saw you with her and my mind just came up with the most logical 
  explanation. You were seeing someone new."
  
  "Most illogical you mean."
  
  "Okay so maybe now looking back I jumped to conclusions without finding out 
  what was really going on."
  
  "Which if you'd stayed last night, you would have found out."
  
  And I wouldn't have slept with a man I didn't even know, her mind screamed. 
  She felt the nausea rise up and she jumped from the chair and hurried to the 
  bathroom, making just in time. She leaned weakly against the wall when she'd 
  finished and a moment later Harm pressed a wet cloth to her forehead.
  
  "Thank you" she whispered. "I'm sorry about that."
  
  "Mac you look like hell. You need to go back to bed. You must have the flu 
  or something." Has he spoke he continued to press the cloth to her cheeks 
  and she closed her eyes, willing away the images of last night.
  
  "Mac" he said softly. "Come on let's get you to bed."
  
  She allowed him to help her to her bedroom and with a long sigh she climbed 
  into bed. She wasn't ready to talk to him anymore so him thinking she was 
  sick wasn't a bad thing. It would give her some time to get her head 
  together about what had happened.
  
  "Can I get you anything?" he asked as he pulled the covers up over her.
  
  "No thank you. I'm sorry you came all this way just to see me be sick. If 
  you'd given me another moment to answer I would have told you not to come."
  
  "I needed to explain to you. Besides, I'm glad I'm here to take care of 
  you."
  
  His words brought tears to her eyes and she turned away so he wouldn't see 
  them. "Thank you. I think I really just need to sleep. It's probably just 
  one of those twenty-four hour things."
  
  He nodded. "I'll stop back tomorrow and check up on you. But sleep is what 
  it looks like you need."
  
  "Harm you don't have to do that" she sighed as she finally looked back up at 
  him. "Really I'm sure it's just a bug and I'll be fine in the morning."
  
  "Yeah we'll I'm still going to stop by. Besides I'm sure you won't eat a 
  thing today and I'll bring you some nice homemade soup tomorrow. And I have 
  no plans for the weekend so I really don't mind."
  
  "Thank you."
  
  "Mac I'm sorry about the way things have been with us the past few days" he 
  said quietly. "I'm sorry we've been at odds because of the case. In the past 
  we always seemed to be able to keep cases from coming between us but 
  suddenly this time we didn't."
  
  "That's partially my fault" she sighed. "I blamed you for the case going 
  bad."
  
  "I hope you know I'm doing my best up there. I'm not trying to bury you to 
  save those pilots."
  
  "Somewhere I know that but it was a frustrating week and I guess I was quick 
  to judge you. On several issues."
  
  "I still can't believe you thought I was with Brittany" he sighed. "Even if 
  I had found someone I wanted to go out with, which by the way I'm not 
  looking for, I would have told you. I sure wouldn't sneak around."
  
  "You're not looking for anyone to go out with?"
  
  "Well I was hoping that a certain Marine would want to go out with me 
  sometime" he smiled. "But lately she hasn't been too happy with me."
  
  "Harm you never said you wanted to go out" she whispered. "I mean we've done 
  dinner and a case but you never said you wanted it to be anything but a 
  working dinner."
  
  "Okay so maybe I'm not real good at telling you what I want. But the thought 
  was definitely there."
  
  She turned away again as his words sunk in. If he'd told her before last 
  night. She closed her eyes as she fought back tears.
  
  "I'm going to let you get some rest," he said softly. "We can talk about 
  this later. I'll call you later and make sure you're okay and then I'll stop 
  by tomorrow with that soup."
  
  "Thank you" she whispered, hoping he couldn't hear the tearfulness in her 
  voice.
  
  "Take care Marine. I'll lock up when I leave."
  
  His hand gently stroked her forehead for a moment before he turned and left. 
  It wasn't until she heard the door close that she gave into the tears again.
 
 The remainder of the day was a blur of tears, sleeping, showering.  She attempted to eat, only to 
not have it stay with her.  Finally shortly before dusk, she dressed warmly and drove to Rock 
Creek.  The  apartment walls had been closing in on her, and she decided a run would clear her 
head, or at least exhaust her to the point where she could perhaps sleep through the night and 
when she woke up, it might all have been some kind of horrid nightmare.
 
 The cold air assaulted her lungs as soon as she stepped from the car, and after the first mile her 
lungs began to burn.  Still she kept going, heedless of the fact the shadows were lengthening 
and the temperature was dropping sharply.  It wasn't until she was at least six miles into the 
interior of the park that she stopped, panting hard and in pain from sucking cold air deep into her 
lungs.  And it wasn't until then that she looked around at the dark trees and remembered the year 
before.  Remembered a dead woman who had haunted her dreams.   Remembered that she had 
vowed once the Aiken murder case was over that she would never set foot in that park, much 
less in the dark.
 
 All at once the growing darkness and the sound of the wind in the trees seemed to make the 
park a place where evil abided.  She pulled her windbreaker more tightly around her shivered 
long and hard.  At the same time in the distance a dog barked.  One dog and then another, and 
then a third.  From somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered a recent news story of 
dog packs being spotted at night in the park.  Dogs abandoned to grow up to fend for 
themselves, living off small animals and trash.
 
 Howling now.  Not unlike the howling of a wolf pack she thought and that was all it took to make 
her run once more, turning back the way she had come.  Her lungs burned with the fire of cold air 
and her legs ached with the exertion.  Finally she could go no more and stopped, grabbing on to 
a tree branch for support as she swung herself down onto a large flat rock.  Drawing herself into 
as tight a ball as she could she closed her eyes and willed away all that had happened.
 ====================
 HARM'S APARTMENT
 2 Hours later
 
 The phone rang sharply, shaking him from where he was dozing in front of CNN.  Too lethargic 
to answer, he waited for his machine to pick up. After his greeting,  a quiet female voice began. 
"Mr. Rabb this is Sergeant Alexis Dominic, Park Police.  I'm at Georgetown Hospital ER with 
Sarah Mackenzie.  In her ID you're listed as. . ."
 
 That was as far as she got for Harm dove over the bed to the phone, grabbing it up.  "I'm here.  
Harmon Rabb.  My god what happened to her?  Is she OK?  Was she hurt?  I know she was sick 
earlier.  Dammit I should have stayed with her."
 
 "Mr. Rabb slow down and take a breath.  We found her in the park about thirty minutes ago."
 
 "Park?  What park?  What the hell was she doing in a park at night?"  As he asked, his mind 
filled with visions of her being kidnapped or assaulted or. . .
 
 "Rock Creek sir.  She apparently was jogging and got lost or disoriented plus she's pretty cold 
and the doctor did say he doubted she's eaten or drank anything today.  But I don't know 
anything more than that I'm afraid."
 
 "Yeah and we're talking when I could be on my way there," he yelled.  "Tell her. . .tell her I'm 
coming please."  He threw down the phone, dressed and ran for his car all in less than a minute.  
His trip across DC was harrowing, and later he would not even remember making the drive.  
Reality did not kick in again until he was directed to the bed where Mac was being kept under 
observation.
 
 He opened the door quietly and though she was facing his direction, she did not seem to 
recognize him.  Her pale face was framed by her dark hair, now matted from the cold and the 
sweat from her exertion, and she was staring blankly, an IV attached to one hand. 
 
 When he took a few hesitant steps nearer, he could see that she was covered by an electric 
blanket and remembered the police sergeant had told him she was very cold.  Cursing the fact 
that there was no doctor or nurse in the area to ask how she was, he closed the remaining 
distance between them.  "Mac can you hear me?" he asked softly, tentatively stretching his hand 
to touch the back of hers. 

 "Harm?" she whispered as she turned to look up at him. "What are you doing 
 here?"
 
 "They called me and told me they found you in the park. Mac what were you 
 thinking?" His words were gentle and she felt tears forming again.
 
 "I don't know. I just needed to get out."
 
 "Getting out is one thing. Running in the park when you're sick is another. 
 My God Mac if the police hadn't found you you might have frozen to death out 
 there."
 
 "I didn't think about that" she whispered.
 
 "This isn't because of me and Brittany is it?" he frowned. "I mean you 
 believed me when I told you that she and I are just neighbors right?"
 
 "It's not about you. It's just me."
 
 "Mac there's something wrong isn't there? And I don't mean you being sick. 
 There's something else bothering you big time."
 
 Before she could answer an older man walked into the room. "I see your 
 friend has arrived. I'm Doctor Kelly. I've been taking care of Ms. Mackenzie 
 since she was brought in."
 
 "Is she going to be okay?" Harm asked.
 
 "We're giving her an IV for dehydration and keeping her warm since she was 
 getting close to hypothermia. Otherwise she's a very lucky young woman and 
 once I'm satisfied she's warm and hydrated enough, I'll let her go. Of 
 course it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone stay with her 
 since she's still a little weak from the ordeal."
 
 "That someone is right here. Course if I'd never left her in the first place 
 this wouldn't have happened."
 
 "Harm it's not your fault" Mac said quietly.
 
 "Yes it was. You wouldn't have been out running around if I'd been there. 
 Cause I would have made sure you stayed in bed where you belonged."
 
 "I can see you'll be in good hands Sarah" Doctor Kelly smiled. "I'll be back 
 in another hour and then we'll see about letting you go. In the meantime, 
 just relax and take it easy."
 
 "Thank you Doctor" Harm said as the man headed out of the room. Once they 
 were alone again, Harm turned his attention back to Mac.
 
 "Harm please don't ask any more questions" she begged when he opened his 
 mouth. "I'm sorry I worried you and it was stupid on my part but I don't 
 want to talk about it right now."
 
 "All right. But I was serious about staying with you and making sure you're 
 okay tonight."
 
 "You don't have to do that" she whispered.
 
 "Mac you're very important to me" he said softly as his hand gently stroked 
 her cheek. "Just let me take care of you okay?"
 
 His words brought the tears and this time she let them go, slowly trickling 
 down her cheek.
 
 "Mac don't cry. It's going to be okay. Whatever it is, I promise it will be 
 okay."
 
 "Will you hold me?" she whispered. "Please."
 
 Awkwardly he reached his arms around her and gently held her against him as 
 she cried softly. He didn't ask any more questions, knowing that eventually 
 she would tell him what was wrong. Until then he would simply be there for 
 her.
 
 "Okay I'm done" she sniffled a short time later. "Thank you. And I've now 
 gotten you all wet."
 
 "I'll live. I'm a lot more concerned about you."
 
 "I know and it's nothing I can talk to you about right now."
 
 "That's fine. Just know that when you decide you do want to talk, I'm here 
 for you. Always."
 
 "Thanks" she sniffled again. "I'm sorry about all this. I really am. The 
 last thing you want to be doing on a Saturday night is hanging out in the ER 
 with me."
 
 "You're right. But only because I'd rather you weren't even here. I still 
 keep thinking how lucky I am the officer found you when he did. Hypothermia 
 is pretty serious stuff you know."
 
 She nodded. It hadn't been her intention to end up like that. But it had 
 happened and she was lucky the officer had found her.
 
 "Why don't you rest?" he urged. "You've got an hour so just close your eyes 
 and relax a bit. I'll be right here with you."
 
 "You're a good man Harmon Rabb" she whispered as she closed her eyes again.
 
 When she opened them again the nurse was removing her IV and Harm was 
 standing by the bedside.
 
 "Am I getting sprung?" she said tiredly.
 
 "Soon as the doctor is satisfied" the nurse replied. "He'll be by in a few 
 minutes."
 
 Thirty minutes later Harm helped her to his car, his arm steadying her as 
 they walked. He hurried around to the other side, quickly starting up the 
 car and flipping the heat on.
 
 "Thanks" she smiled weakly as the car began to warm.

 "No problem. Let's get you home."
  
"Long as I don't have to talk," she sighed, shaking her head with the memories that were 
clouding her mind.  Like all human beings, Sarah Mackenzie had a catalog of happenings from 
the past of which she was none too proud.  Most of them though were just that--from the past.  
This was not even old enough to be called recent past, but more like immediate, and the hurt and 
shame was raw.

"You don't have to do anything but take care of yourself, and to let me help you do that," he 
replied.  "Right now the only thing that I'm concerned with is your health.  Well there is one other 
thing--I've been pretty busy giving thanks that you weren't hurt, or worse.   My god Mac you could 
have been found by one of those gangs that have left their graffiti all over the park instead of two 
cops on horseback."

"Yeah I know.  Just don't scold OK.  Please."

"No I'm not going to scold you.  That I'm saving for myself.  For leaving you--for allowing you to 
tell me to leave you--when I knew you were sick.  I should be signing myself in for therapy right 
now.  Where was my head."

She gave him a soft smile and leaned back against the seat, letting the warmth overwhelm her 
and she managed to close her eyes.  Lulled by the soft music and the warm air, she was almost 
asleep when she felt a blast of cold air as the SUV door opened and a second later his strong 
arms went around her to help her down.

"I could carry you."

"Not and live," she smiled.  "Seriously I'm fine.  Just don't let go of me."

"No.  Not for a long time," he vowed.  "My heart rate is still up in the danger zone from that phone 
call.  It took me maybe two seconds to get hold of the phone and stop the incoming message and 
in that time I my mind must have painted twelve different horrible scenarios as to why the ER 
would be calling me about you.  And each one was worse than the last."

"I really am sorry I worried you," she murmured.  "I was just trying to have some alone time.  And 
I am wondering where was my head too."

"Well for right now it's going into bed with the rest of you," he told her firmly, guiding her up the 
stairs.  

"Harm I. . ." she began once he got her inside.

"Marine I don't know what you're about to say but if it's got anything to do with Harm I'm fine, 
Harm you can leave, Harm I want to be alone---save your breath.  It's not going to happen."

"Actually it's the opposite," she said softly.  "It was going to be Harm would you come hold me.  
And if I cry again could you pretend you don't notice.  I don't feel very much like a Marine at this 
moment." 
 
  "I think I can arrange that" he whispered. "Come on let's get you to bed."
  
  He led her to the bedroom and she slipped underneath the covers. He sat down 
  beside her, cradling her in his arms as she gave into the tears again. True 
  to his word he said nothing, simply holding her and stroking her gently 
  while she cried. His heart ached for her, unsure what had upset her so much. 
  But whatever it was, they would get through it.
  
  She fell asleep in his arms, exhausted from all that had happened. He gently 
  laid her back on the bed and brought the covers up tight.
  
  "Sleep well honey" he whispered as he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.
  
  He stood there for several minutes watching her sleep. Even while she slept 
  the lines of tension were evident on her face and he gently stroked her 
  cheek. She murmured slightly as she curled into a ball and with a sigh he 
  headed to the living room.
  
  ******************
  The smell of coffee greeted her the next morning as she pushed her eyes open 
  and it took her a moment before she remembered that Harm was there.
  With a long sighs she forced herself to a sitting position, staying that way 
  for several seconds while the dizziness passed.
  
  "Hey what are you doing up?" he frowned as she walked into the kitchen a 
  minute later. "I would have brought you something."
  
  "I know. I just needed to stretch. You stayed last night didn't you?"
  
  "You didn't think I was going to leave you again did you?"
  
  "Thanks for holding me last night. I guess I feel asleep on you didn't I?"
  
  "You were pretty gone at that point," he said softly. "But you look like you 
  at least got some sleep. Do you feel any better?"
  
  "I think my stomach is a little calmer now. As for the rest of me, it's just 
  here."
  
  "How about some toast and tea then? Cause I'm not going to let another day 
  go by of you not eating."
  
  "I'll try that thanks" she sighed.
  
  "I think you should go back to bed" he fretted. "You still look a little 
  unsteady Marine. I'll bring you your toast and tea."
  
  "Harm I can't stay in bed all day" she protested when he started to lead her 
  back to the bedroom. "I have stuff to do."
  
  "Your duty station is this bed," he said firmly. "I'll take care of whatever 
  you need done."
  
  "You're not doing my laundry. And I need to go to the store."
  
  "Both can wait. You've got a closet full of uniforms, not that you're going 
  anywhere tomorrow anyway, and I'll go to the store for you."
  
  "Harm I can't ask you to do any more than you have" she sniffled. "You've 
  gone way above and beyond the call of duty here. Especially after I nearly 
  drowned you last night with my tears. Which by the way I haven't thanked you 
  for letting me do."
  
  "Mac I'm always here for you. And I'm far from above and beyond my duty 
  here.  Whatever you need, just ask."
  
  "Stop being so nice" she sniffled as more tears slid down her face. "I don't 
  deserve this from you."
  
  "Why not? We're friends and that's what friends are for. Course I'd like to 
  think we're more than friends but that's a subject for another day. Let's 
  get you back into bed and then I'll be back with the tea and toast."
  
  "Thank you" she whispered. "For everything."
  
  "Rest honey" he urged. "I'll be back."
  
  Once she was under the covers again he returned to the kitchen and she 
  fought back more tears as she realized how big of a mistake she'd made 
  Friday night. Deep down she'd hoped that Harm had more feelings for her than 
  he'd made apparent and now she was realizing that was the case.
  
  "Toast and tea" he said as he walked in a few minutes later. "And I'm going 
  to sit here and make sure you eat this time."
  
  "I'll try" she sighed. "I'm not promising it's going to stay down."
  
  He nodded and watched as she took a small bite of toast. She finally downed 
  the last bite and handed him the plate.
  
  "Good job. Now why don't you get some rest? I'll just hang around here for a 
  bit longer till I'm sure you're okay."
  
  "Harm I'm sure you have stuff to do. You don't have to baby sit me."
  
 "Not baby-sitting you is how you got into trouble last night," he reminded her.  "I honestly have 
nothing to do, and if I went back to the apartment I'd just rattle around worrying about you and 
trying to settle in front of the TV and watch basketball.  Now I can do that same thing here--the 
TV I mean, and not have to worry that you're OK.  And I'm granting you a continuance for the 
case tomorrow by the way.  You can take another day to be sure you're OK."
 
 "Oh Harm I can't.  It's not necessary.  I'm fine really.  I can certainly stand up and do the close.  
Bud is writing it anyway."
 
 "OK that's a subject we'll re-visit.  Now why don't I build up the fire some, and you get a book 
and your blanket and your teddybear and come snuggle with me."
 
 "I do not believe that my macho Naval Aviator partner just said snuggle," she giggled, "and I 
further do not believe that this Marine is going to do just that.  But then like I said, I haven't been 
much of a Marine the last two days.  Wait until the Admiral hears I went running in the park, got 
disoriented, and instead of recon-ing my way out, just curled up in a ball and waited to die."
 
 "No.  NO.  Do not even think such a thing," he groused.  "It could have happened."  He reached 
for both her hands, putting a soft kiss in the palm of one.  "My God Sarah if something happened 
to you, I'd. . .well I'd lose it.  I almost did when I got that phone call."
 
 "I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes never leaving his.
 
 "No don't be sorry.  Just understand how much you mean to me," he begged.
 
 "I. . .I think I'm just beginning to."  And that brought another flood of tears.  Tears of regret for her 
Friday night indiscretion.
 
 "SShhh OK," he soothed.  "I still don't know what's wrong and I don't have to, but I want you to 
be OK."
 
 She sniffled and swallowed the last of her distress.  "I think I can be.  With your help."
 
 "Always honey.  Always."
 
 The remainder of the day they passed quietly.  She slept some and they worked on pending 
cases as she felt up to it.  Darkness was falling as she came out of the shower and he looked up, 
not able to suppress a smile at the sight of her in her pink robe and wet hair slicked back.
 
 "I think you're seeing the real me," she giggled.  "Harm please before it gets any later--not that I 
don't love having you here, but I'm concerned about you devoting your weekend to me and all."
 
 "Hey why don't you let me worry about that please.  But you do look like you're ready for the 
bed.  And you look like you might actually go there and stay.  Please."
 
 "I'm here for the duration.  But I will be at work tomorrow."
 
 "Maa--aac I told you that you had the continuance.
 
 "And I told you I didn't want it," she replied firmly, feeling some of her Marine resilience returning.  
Feeling that in the face of the care and concern he was showing for her that she could 
concentrate on that, build on that, and put the experience at the hotel into the back reaches of 
her mind.
 
 "OK then I'll see you in court," he smiled, sensing how important this was to her.  
 
 "Good."  She guided him to the door and as he slipped through she caught his arm.  "I wouldn't 
object to a good night kiss."
  
 "Good night Mac" he said softly before gently kissing her lips. "I'll see 
 you tomorrow."
 
 *******************
 JAG HQ's
 Next Day
 
 "Nice job on closing arguments Bud" Mac sighed. "We at least gave the 
 members something to think about."
 
 "Well I'm not sure it will do much good but you sure made it sound good" he 
 smiled. "Now we just have to wait and see. You want to grab some lunch while 
 we wait?"
 
 "Thanks but I'll pass. I had some kind of bug this weekend and my stomach is 
 still getting back to normal."
 
 "I thought you looked a little pale. You sure you're feeling okay?"
 
 "Yeah I'm fine. But I'm a bit tired so I'm going to go rest in the lounge. 
 Let me know if they come back with a verdict any time soon."
 
 He nodded and she headed to the lounge. With a long sigh she sat down on the 
 sofa, glad to be off her feet. It had been a long morning in court and she 
 still wasn't feeling a hundred percent.
 
 "Hey Bud said you were in here" Harm said as he walked in a few minutes 
 later. "You okay?"
 
 "Yeah just tired" she said with a small smile. "I'm fine."
 
 "Well if it's too much, just have Bud go back" he frowned. "I knew you 
 probably weren't up to this after this weekend."
 
 "Speaking of which, thank you for not mentioning what happened to anyone, 
 especially the Admiral. He'd been starting the paperwork for my psych eval 
 right away."
 
 "Mac I won't say a word to anyone. I just hope you know if you decide you 
 want to talk about whatever was upsetting me that I'm here. Well except for 
 right now because I'm the judge and you're the prosecuting attorney."
 
 "I know you are. And when and if I'm ever ready to talk about it, I'll let 
 you know."
 
 "Good. Now is there anything I can do for you?"
 
 "No I'm fine. Honest. I just want to lay back and close my eyes for a few 
 minutes."
 
 "You should eat something" he frowned.
 
 "I was going to grab a pack of crackers from the vending machine. Honest 
 that's about all I want. I'm better today but I'm still not up for real 
 food. Unless of course it's some more of that soup of yours."
 
 "I think I can arrange that. But I want your promise that if you're not 
 feeling good, you'll let Bud handle the rest of the case today."
 
 "Promise. Not get out of here before they accuse you of consorting with the 
 prosecution."
 
 "Like I care" he scoffed. "But I do have some stuff to take care of. I'll 
 catch you later."
 
 It took the members longer than she had expected to decide the fate of the 
 pilots and it wasn't until nearly four that Bud came and found her in the 
 lounge. She'd fallen asleep, still exhausted and run down from her weekend 
 ordeal.
 
 "Ma'am they've got a decision" Bud said as he gently shook her awake. "I'm 
 hoping the fact it took them a while is good for us this time."
 
 "Let's hope so" she sighed. "Come on let's go face the music."
 
 As she suspected would be the case the members found the pilots not guilty 
 and she let out a long sigh. They'd done their best but it hadn't helped.
 
 "Nice try ma'am" Bud said with a small smile.
 
 "We gave it our best Bud" she sighed as she stood up. She did so too quickly 
 and at once she grabbed onto the table as the world spun around her.
 
 "Ma'am you okay?" Bud frowned. "You don't look so hot right now?"
 
 "I think I just got up too quick" she said with a deep breath. "It'll pass."
 
 "Maybe you should sit down" he urged. "Until it does pass."
 
 From his spot on the bench, Harm noticed Mac get up and sit back down and at 
 once he also noticed how pale she looked. Without a thought to what anyone 
 would think, he quickly hurried over to her.
 
 "Mac you okay?" he asked gently.
 
 "I'm okay" she said with a weak smile. "I'm just a little dizzy that's all. 
 I think I got up too quick."
 
 He at once knelt beside her chair, cupping her cheek with his palm and feeling Bud's eyes on 
them both.

"Sir what can I do.  Ma'am?"

"You can tell the Admiral that the Colonel, who was a fool for coming to work today, is taking the 
rest of the afternoon such as it is, off.  And that she'll be on light duty tomorrow, which means 
she'll be working from home."

"Bud strike that last part.  I will be at my duty station."

"Lieutenant you have your orders."

"Bud belay those orders.  I will be here."

"Uh. . ."  Bud looked from one to the other.  "Ma'am respectfully, the Commander is bigger than 
you and more likely to hurt me.  Excuse me."  With that he fled the room.

"Harm. . ."

"Did you not hear Bud.  I'm bigger.  Now let's get you home and some good food into you.  If 
you're a good girl and eat it all, plus a good breakfast in the morning, and don't look like death 
warmed over, maybe you can come in for the afternoon."

"Harm. . " she tried once more.

"You won't win.  Give it up."

"Yeah when you set your jaw like that I know I won't.  And it doesn't feel that bad to be taken care 
of right now."

He nodded slowly, frowning all the while.  If she was this compliant, something was wrong.  
Something she obviously was unwilling to share.

"OK let's do it," he smiled, helping her to turn her chair outward and then lifting her to her feet.  

"I need to go by my office and get some files.  I'm not going to spend the rest of the day staring at 
the ceiling, or daytime TV would make me even buggier."

"You can do that and I'll do the same and then we can not feel like we're ditching completely," he 
grinned, wrapping a supporting hand around her arm.

"Colonel, Commander, hold up please."  AJ's voice assailed them as they started to walk.  
"Colonel I don't want to see you again until you're fit for duty," he told her quietly after closing the 
distance between them.  "Obviously you've got something you can't shake, and the chance of 
you infecting us all aside, you need to get rid of it.  If it takes a day in bed with the Commander. . 
.let me rephrase that.  If it takes a day in bed where you're resting and getting back on your feet, 
by all means.  Commander you see to it will you."

"Yes sir."  They answered in unison and continued their walk.  

"See even the Admiral knows you're not well.  Just take a down day.  That's all it's going to take," 
Harm urged as he walked her to her office.

"Yeah OK, right now that does sound good.  Thank you for not telling him that I nearly froze my 
stupid six off in the park," she sighed.

"Hell no I'm not going to tell him.  I was saving that for when a really good blackmail was 
needed," he grinned.  
============
MAC's APARTMENT 
1 Hour Later

"Bed or sofa?" he asked.

"Uh. . .sofa for sure.  I don't want to be back there by myself.  Did you promise me some soup?"

"You bet I did.  Soon as I know you're down for the count I'll run to the corner and get the stuff."

""I'll change and be right back."  

When she emerged, she was wearing the Cowboy flannel PJ's and he smiled as soon as he saw 
her, lifting the blanket from the sofa back.  "My Marine," he teased.

"Your Marine doesn't feel very much like a kick-ass Jarhead right now," she sighed.  Her hair was 
tousled from the act of changing clothes, hanging over her forehead and he stepped forward to 
push the stray locks aside.  

"My Marine will be OK," he said softly, kissing the area he had uncovered.

"I know I will, because I have you to see to it," she smiled wanly.

"You bet you do," he growled playfully, kissing that same spot once again.

"Flyboy why don't you think about doing that again, only bettering your aim?"
    
  "I can try" he smiled before dropping a quick kiss on her lips. "Now march 
  that little six over to the sofa. You need to rest."
  
  "You're right" she sighed. "But at least I made it through the case today. 
  Not that I was happy with the outcome."
  
  "Sorry. But you know Sturgis had a better case."
  
  "I'm not discussing that one," she said with a small smile. "I'm just glad I 
  didn't leave Bud to deal with it all alone."
  
  "He could have handled it and you should have stayed in bed. But this time 
  I'll make sure that's the case."
  
  "How do you plan on doing that?"
  
  "I'm staying this time. Just like I should have last night."
  
  "Harm no. You can't keep sleeping on my sofa. It has to be killing your back 
  not to mention then you'll have to drive home in the morning to get ready 
  for work."
  
  "My back is fine and I can handle a little driving. A small price to pay to 
  make sure someone is taking care of herself. Now why don't you close those 
  big brown eyes and get some rest."
  
  "Will you hold me until I fall asleep?" she asked softly.
  
  "Of course. Come on Marine."
  
  She snuggled against him and with his arms around her it wasn't long before 
  she fell asleep. Once he was sure she wouldn't wake, he gently laid her 
  against the pillows. He watched her for several moments, before finally 
  pushing himself to move. He needed to get the stuff for the soup and he 
  wanted to have it made before she woke again.
  
  He was whistling in the kitchen when she stumbled in a few hours later.
  
  "Smells good" she said softly. "Thanks for doing this."
  
  "My pleasure. How was your nap?"
  
  "Good but I think I could sleep for another eight which is totally unlike 
  me."
  
  "That's because you're still not feeling well" he frowned. "And coming to 
  work today was a big mistake. I know you felt you had to be Gung Ho Marine 
  and handle the closing arguments but you really should have stayed in bed."
  
  "I couldn't leave Bud on the sinking ship alone" she said with a small 
  smile.
  
  "Sorry. I hope you understand there was nothing personal there."
  
  "No I know you did what you had to do" she nodded. "But I'm going to be 
  honest and say I really don't like it when one of us is up there on the 
  bench like that. Like when I was I know you thought I was over compensating 
  for our relationship."
  
  "Weren't you?"
  
  "Weren't you doing the same and trying to save the pilots?" she countered.
  
  "I thought I was being objective" he sighed. "Let's just say it's not as 
  easy as it looks. Especially because we do have a relationship. Not that I'm 
  really sure what kind of relationship that actually is."
  
  "Yet to be defined" she said with a small smile. "But one thing I can say is 
  you are the best friend I've ever had.  No one else has taken care of me 
  like you have. Especially with the whole episode this weekend."
  
  "You ready to talk about that yet?" he asked.
  
  "No. Actually I think it's one of those things that's just going to go away 
  on it's own and eventually I'll look back and realize how silly I was to get 
  so upset about the whole thing."
  
  "As long as you're not just burying something that's fine."
  
  "I'm not really burying it. I'm just forgetting about it. It was one little 
  moment that it's best not to think about anymore."
  
  He nodded, wanting to press her for more information but at the same time 
  knowing she would tell him when the time was right.
  
  "Why don't you go relax on the sofa?" he suggested. "The soup will be done 
  in a little bit."
  
  "Will you join me?" she smiled. "Unless you need to watch the soup."
  
  "I'd love to join you."
  
  She gratefully snuggled against him, letting out a content sigh as she did 
  so.
  
  "Well at least you look a little better than you did earlier," he said as he 
  gently stroked away a piece of hair from her forehead.  "You're not quite as 
  pale. And the soup should help."
  
  "I'm getting good TLC from you" she smiled. "Good enough that I'll be fine 
  to go back to work tomorrow."
  
  "We'll see about that. You pushed it today. It probably wouldn't have hurt 
  for you to take another day just to relax."

  "I'm relaxing now. And tomorrow I'll be fine. Besides I think the Admiral 
  has something in mind for us now that we're done with the big case."
  
  "I for one am glad it's over" Harm sighed. "I hope Sturgis gets the next 
  shot at the bench."
  
  "I'm sure the Admiral has him in the rotation. And if anyone can be 
  objective up there it's him."
    
 "He's a good man and a good friend," Harm nodded.  
 
 "One of those people no matter how badly you screw up, he's always going to be there for you," 
Mac smiled.  "Reminds me of someone else I could mention.  And speaking of that, how am I 
ever going to thank you for what you're doing for me here.  I owe you so much."
 
 "Like you haven't done for me in the past," he scoffed.  "Russia ring a bell. How about the time I 
was on the run?  You risked everything taking me in."
 
 "Friends don't keep score.  But you know I believe if I survive this with some semblance of 
sanity, it will be only because of you."
 ==================
 JAG HQ
 MAR. 2003
 4PM
 
 "You have any idea why the royal summons?" Harm frowned, meeting Mac just outside of AJ's 
office.
 
 "Not at all.  But we've had nothing meaty in weeks.  Maybe that trend is about to change," she 
smiled.  "Whatever it is, you promised me that new Italian place in Bethesda tonight.  This better 
not change that."
 
 "No way.  I had to threaten the guy's life to get a reservation," he grinned.
 
 "Thanks," she smiled.  "I've had my mouth set for it for a week since we saw it on that restaurant 
critic's show."
 
 "Mac I just had a real bad thought here.  What if we're about to be separated," he frowned.  "I 
mean what if he's wanting to see us because. . ."
 
 "What if you don't borrow trouble there," she advised, nevertheless looking troubled.  In the six 
weeks since her experience with Kenneth Hamilton, she and Harm and found a new closeness.  
Making slow but steady, and happy, progress toward what both considered an eventuality, albeit 
it unspoken.
 
 "Are you two going to lurk out there all afternoon or come in here like I wanted," AJ bellowed.
 
 "Sir sorry," Harm called, ushering Mac into the office, unconsciously with his hand at her back.
 
 "Well far be it for me to interrupt your private conversation," AJ smiled, his eyebrow only slightly 
raised at Harm's attention to her. 
 
 "No problem sir, what can we do for you," Mac spoke up.
 
 "You can go to Syracuse New York and find out what the hell is going on with Major Alan Mobley 
that's what you can do for me," he growled.  "I've got the SecNav crawling up my six and 
Commander I can see from the expression you're giving me you have no clue."
 
 "None sir."  Harm shook his head.
 
 "Major Mobley is with the Defense Investigative Service's Northern New York branch," Mac said 
slowly.  "He was arrested in a sting operation in a small town just north of there by agents from 
DEA.  They found a pound of crack cocaine in his trunk."
 
 "Exactly," AJ nodded, glaring at Harm.
 
 "Teacher's pet." Harm directed that at Mac, who promptly stuck out her tongue.
 
 "Children please," AJ admonished.  "Major Mobley of course alleges it was a set up.  That he 
was investigating.  And no one is buying that, including his superiors whom he says want him 
out.  Look it's giving me a migraine in addition to that other pain.  Get up there and make it go 
away."
 
 "Tonight sir?"
 
 "You have other plans Commander?"
 
 "Dinner plans sir.  Nothing of course that couldn't be postponed for the good of the service."
 
 "Good answer.  But no, by the time you got there it would be too late to do anything.  I'll tell Mr. 
Ward you'll be there first thing in the morning."
 
 "Sir?"
 
 "Daniel Ward.  Division Chief.  He asked for the JAG-man.  He's not sure who he can trust any 
more."  AJ took a long breath and shook his head.  "But the head of DIS has hinted to the 
SecNav he's not sure if he can trust Mr. Ward.  Bottom line, be careful.  You know how these 
things go.  Don't put your faith in anyone you're unsure of."  He handed Harm the case file.  "You 
will file a daily report with Tiner.  That's it.  Good trip."
 
 They turned in dismissal and Mac was the first to groan when they got back to the bullpen.  "It's 
just starting to get warm here.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's still winter up there."
 
 "Pack your long-johns," he replied with an evil grin and she swatted his arm.  

"OK but I have no intention of passing on that dinner."
 
 "No of course not.  I want that too.  I'll go pack and come pick you up.  Then we'll come back to 
your place and I'll crash on the sofa so we can go to the airport together in the morning.  Sound 
like a winner?"
  
 "Perfect" she smiled. "I'll see you later."
 
 ****************
 Al Fresco Italian Restaurant
 Two Hours Later
 
 "Nice place" Mac commented as she looked around the dimly lit, 
 well-appointed dining room of the restaurant. To her delight they'd gotten a 
 cozy table near the fireplace and she wondered how Harm had managed to pull 
 that off.
 
 "I thought you might like it. And remember this is on me, so whatever you 
 want. Eat up."
 
 "Yeah I've been doing a lot of that" she laughed.
 
 "You needed the few pounds" he smiled as he looked over her. "You look 
 perfect now."
 
 "I'll take that as a compliment" Mac blushed. "I didn't know you were 
 studying my figure."
 
 "Hard to miss. And by the way it looks really good in that dress tonight."
 
 "Well enjoy the view because it's the last time you're going to see my legs 
 for a while" she laughed. "I've packed slacks for the trip to New York and 
 that's all."
 
 "We would luck out and end up with a case in New York wouldn't we" he 
 sighed.
 
 "I'm just glad we're working together on this one. I'm not sure I like the 
 sound of this case and if you were going with anyone else I'd be worrying 
 about someone covering your six."
 
 "I don't like it either" Harm admitted. "And I was highly tempted to ask the 
 Admiral if someone besides you could go with me."
 
 "You wouldn't have?" she demanded.
 
 "I would because I care about you and this case does sound like it might be 
 something nasty. So yes I would have. But I didn't."
 
 "Well I understand your reasoning but I'm glad you didn't open your mouth," 
 she said with a small smile. "You would have been in big trouble mister."
 
 "Yeah yeah I know. That's why I didn't do it. But don't think Im not going 
 to keep my eye on you during this."
 
 "We'll keep our eyes on each other. Which is why I'm glad we are going 
 together. There's no one I trust more with my life than you."
 
 Two hours later he helped her from her chair, Mac laughing as she put a hand 
 to her stomach.
 
 "I swear I gained ten pounds tonight. How could you let me all that?"
 
 "Let you" he laughed as well as he reached for her hand. "Look what I ate."
 
 "Okay we can only come here once a month. But every bite of it was 
 wonderful. As was the company."
 
 "Yeah it was" he smiled. "I had a lovely time Ms. Mackenzie." He dropped a 
 gentle kiss to her lips as they stood at the table. She smiled brightly, 
 before her eyes suddenly caught sight of someone at another table. For a 
 moment she couldn't move as her mind tried to determine if it was really 
 him.
 
 "Mac you okay?" Harm asked as he noticed her staring off. "Mac?"
 
 The man at the table smiled and at once Mac knew it was him. Ken Hamilton. 
 He was with another woman and they seemed to be having a wonderful time. He 
 hadn't caught sight of her and she realized at once that she didn't want him 
 to see her.
 
 "Yeah I'm fine. Come on let's go."
 
 She hurried from the dining room, nearly tugging Harm along as she did so. 
 It was until they were outside the restaurant that she finally stopped and 
 took a deep breath of calm.
 
 "Mac what's going on?" Harm frowned. "You spaced out on me and then you 
 practically pulled me through the restaurant."
 
 "Nothing I'm sorry. Too much Alfredo I think."
 
 "Are you going to be sick?" he asked at once.
 
 "No I don't think so. My stomach just rolled for a moment but I'm fine now. 
 I just didn't want to make a scene in the restaurant."
 
 "You sure you're okay?" he asked.
 
 "I'm fine. Honest. I promise I won't be sick in the Vette."
 
 "I don't care about the car" he frowned as his hand went to stroke her 
 cheek. "I care about you. I want to make sure you're okay. If you're coming 
 down with something again, maybe you shouldn't be going to New York with 
 me."
 
 "Oh no. You're sure not going alone. I'm fine. I just ate too much and my 
 stomach isn't used to me pigging out like that."
 
 "All right but if you're not okay in the morning, you're not getting on that 
 flight."
 
 "Harm I've had a touchy stomach the past couple months or so.  Maybe like you said all that 
non-nutritious food I eat is finally having its way with me.  Don't make a big deal of it and I am 
going on this mission thank you very little.  You're not going up there alone.  Only Sturgis would I 
trust as much as I do myself to back you up and he's butt-deep in that mess at Twenty-Nine 
Palms.  Bottom line, a little stomach upset isn't keeping me from the assignment."

"OK.  Well thankfully we're not going anywhere there won't be medical facilities," he muttered.

"GIve it a rest," she smiled, happy that he cared.  Happy in fact with him, and with them, them 
together.  She had managed to push that night into the back of her mind, and seeing Hamilton 
had brought it all back in living color but it didn't hurt any more.  She had made a mistake.  A bad 
one and she was lucky to escape unscathed.  If God was smiling, never again would she be so 
alone that she would seek solace with a stranger.
=============
MAC's APARTMENT
1 Hour later

"You're packing those long-johns right?" He called from the kitchen where he was making a hot 
cocoa nightcap.

"Three pair," she yelled back.  "And you think you're kidding but I do actually have something to 
wear under my uniform slacks that will keep me warm."

"Care to model?"

"Someday Flyboy," she laughed, taking a moment from her packing to marvel yet another time at 
how easy they were with each other.  

"Is that a promise?"

She came to stand behind him before answering, surprising him by slipping her arms around his 
waist and resting her head on his back.  "It's a promise," she whispered.
=================
ABOARD US AIR FLIGHT 335

"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Syracuse where the temperature is a bracing sixteen 
degrees and with the wind, you'll find that to be about minus five.  And yes that white stuff 
cascading down outside is snow.  We get a lot of  it here."

"Who is this guy?  Bob Hope?" Harm scowled.

"I just hope our DIS escort is here.  I'm not of a mood to wait on the curb and turn into the human 
Frosty," she sighed.

They were in luck, for as they reached the main terminal, there was a woman in civilian clothes 
carrying a sign bearing their names.  

"We're Mackenzie and Rabb," Mac smiled. 

"Which is which?"

"We're interchangeable--doesn't matter," Harm grinned, holding his hand out.  "Harm Rabb, 
Sarah Mackenzie."

"Welcome to New York," she smiled.  "I'm Nicole Hudson, call me Nikki, DIS civilian.  My partner 
is bringing the car around.  Assuming he doesn't get lost.  Man can't find the men's room from his 
office.  You ready for the cold?"

"No but it's not going to get any warmer is it?"

"Oh yeah sure it is.  Come back in June."

"You lived here all your life Nikki?" Mac asked as she followed the younger woman.

"I'm from Carthage yes ma'am.  Did the whole travel the US thing, even went to school in Texas 
to see a different  part of the world.  DIS recruited me on campus, I went to training and all, and 
then when I said I wanted the South, I ended up right back here.  Now my partner on the other 
hand is a transplanted Hawaiian, and the man is suffering.  He's only been here eight months 
now.  And there he is with the car.  I'm impressed."

"Marine huh," Mac smiled as the young man leaped from the car and stood at attention by the 
door at the sight of the officers.  

"So much for a civilian cover," Nikki giggled.  "At ease Daniel for crying out loud."

"You don't get to say that, only they do.  Sir, ma'am, Lieutenant Daniel Gere at your service."

"Thank you Lieutenant.  Now try reminding yourself you're not in uniform."

"Sir yes sir," he gasped and Nikki broke into gales of laughter.

"You cannot take the Marine out of the man just by taking off the uniform," she laughed.  "And by 
the way Daniel, congratulations on your successful trip around the airport."
  
 "Thank you. Now can we get out of this cold" he said with a long shiver. 
 "Man do I hate this weather."
 
 "Please" Mac agreed. "Even for us this is a bit much. Seeing as how you're 
 from Hawaii, I'm sure you're not enjoying this."
 
 "Someone's idea of a joke I guess" he sighed as they climbed into the car. 
 "Sending a guy from Hawaii to New York in the winter. There are DIS offices 
 all over the country and I end up here."
 
 "Just ignore his whining" Nikki laughed.
 
 "We might be whining along with him" Harm shivered as well. "Don't tell me 
 you get used to this."
 
 "You do if you're born and raised here. Otherwise no it's a bit of a shock 
 to the system."
 
 "And to think we were just getting the first warm air of the season back 
 home" Mac sighed.
 
 Daniel drove them to the nearby Holiday Inn they were staying at with the 
 promise to return in the morning to pick them up.
 
 "That's if we don't get another foot of snow tonight" he sighed.
 
 "Foot?" Harm questioned.
 
 "He's just kidding" Nikki smiled. "They're calling for some snow. Probably 
 four or six inches more. But not a foot."

 "What did we do to deserve Iceland?" Mac asked as she and Harm made their 
 way to their connecting rooms a few minutes later.
 
 "Not sure" Harm smiled. "I guess the Admiral just had it in for us this 
 time."
 
 "I guess" she sighed. "I'm beat and I'm going to hit the bed. I'll knock on 
 your door around seven and we'll go get breakfast."
 
 "Sounds good. If you need anything just holler. I'll leave the door open 
 between us just in case."
 
 "Thanks. I'll see you in the morning."
 
 "Mac you okay?" he asked, suddenly remembering she hadn't been feeling good 
 earlier.
 
 "Yeah I'm just tired," she said with a weak smile. "I promise it's nothing 
 more. That and it's so cold that honestly I just want to put on my jammies 
 and crawl under the covers and get warm."
 
 "Well if you need any help getting warm" he smiled.
 
 "I'll call down to the desk and ask for more blankets" she laughed.
 
 "I was hoping you'd call for me and I'd help you warm up" he grinned.
 
 "Good night Commander. I'll see you in the morning bright and early."
 
 Ten minutes later she crawled under the covers, glad for the extra blanket 
 they'd put on the bed. She'd put the heat up in the room but it still seemed 
 chilly. She closed her eyes and at once the face of Ken Hamilton haunted 
 her. One little moment in time that she'd managed to bury for a while was 
 now back at the surface. With a long sigh she closed her eyes and prayed she 
 would fall asleep quickly.
 
 It was around four when Harm first heard her. At first he thought he'd 
 imagined it but then he heard it again. Mac was crying. Or so it sounded.
 
 "Mac" he called as he hurried through the door between the rooms.
 
 She was sobbing softly and as he turned on the light he realized her eyes 
 were still closed. She was in the middle of some kind of nightmare or dream 
 and at once he reached for her.
 
 "Mac honey wake up" he said softly.
 
 His voice instantly woke her and she looked around at him with wide-eyed.
 
 "Was I dreaming?" she whispered.
 
 "You tell me. I heard you crying so I came in. You looked like you were 
 asleep."
 
 She nodded as she realized why she was crying. She'd been reliving the night 
 with Ken over again. Crying again just like she'd cried that night when 
 she'd left the hotel.
 
 "It was just a bad dream," she said finally. "I'm sorry if I woke you."
 
 "Anything you want to talk about?" he asked.
 
 "No but since I dragged you out of bed and your freezing there in your 
 boxers you might as well join me under the covers cause I'm getting cold 
 looking at you."
 
 "Do you want me because I'm making you cold or because you don't want to be 
 alone again?" he asked softly.
 
 "Both" she whispered. "I just really need to feel your arms around me right 
 now."
 
"You can have my arms any time you want them," he told her firmly, sliding in behind her as she 
turned on her side and he fitted his body around hers.  

"I wish I could count on that."

"You can.  Where did that come from?" he demanded, just a trifle sharply.

"I. . ."  Her tears started again and she sank her head into the pillow.  "This is not the time to 
have this discussion.  Not when I'm a basket case of emotions."

"Well now that you mention it," he began warily, "I've noticed in the past few weeks you've been 
a little. . .well excitable or emotional or whatever name you want to give it.   Remember we were 
watching the news the other night with dinner and that ad came on where the dog has the 
puppies and the lady gives the owner a Hallmark card?   You puddled."

She lifted her head from her pillow and smiled softly.  "OK yeah I did.  Harm there was something 
that happened a while back that I don't want to talk about.  I'm trying to put it behind me.  Trying 
real hard."

"O--K," he said thoughtfully.  "I'm not going to make it seem like you're on the stand here by 
asking you questions so I'm just going to say when you feel like you want to tell me, you can."

She shook her head and her body trembled slightly.  How could she tell him that she allowed her 
body to be used in that way.  That she had so little respect for herself that night that she went to 
bed with a stranger.  No way would she tell him.  And see the look of disappointment and pity on 
his face. . .and in his eyes.  No.

"Just promise me you're not in some kind of trouble or something like that.  Something you 
shouldn't be handling alone."

"No nothing like that I promise.  It's really over.  Over except for how it plays on my mind.  And 
the nightmares that I have about it."

"OK.  Please just know. . .well you know."

"Harm I know you care.  Honestly I do, and I love you for it."

The word hung in the air between them.  For a half-minute neither of them moved, nor barely 
breathed.

"Harm I. . ." she tried only to have him silence her lips with a gentle finger.

"No.  Not now.  Not in a freezing cold Holiday Inn room while we're on a case," he said softly.  
"Another time and place when we can just let it be about us.  Then we'll talk.  About that word."

She  nodded solemnly, her head moving against his chest and she closed her eyes, feeling 
herself relax and want to sleep.  Not since the last time they shared a bed had she felt so 
comforted.  For the rest of the night he held her, and the rise and fall of his chest, along with the 
sound of his even breathing, lulled her into a deep sleep.
================
DIS HQ
SYRACUSE NY
1 Week later
7PM

"I'm going to kill her," Daniel announced, dropping heavily into a chair in the office Mac and Harm 
had been given to share.  "Sir you're a lawyer.  Be straight with me.  It's not illegal to kill your 
partner when she makes you insane is it."

"Not at all.  Justifiable homicide.  I can get you off with a medal to boot," Harm grinned.  "Now 
what did the little woman do this time?  And for godsakes don't tell her I called her that."

"She's a total moron.  Sent me an email.  Said she had a lead he was checking and she'd talk to 
me later."

"So you've never gone on your own to check on something without telling her?  I mean I know 
you haven't worked together long, but I'm going to bet there are times what you had was so thin 
you didn't want to share."

"Sir she's been gone four hours.  This was sent at 310PM.  All I get his her voice mail and no one 
has seen her.  Where's the Colonel?"

"She went to talk to Ensign Clyburn remember.  In fact wasn't Nikki going to take her and. . ."  
Harm scowled and looked at his watch.

"See sir, you're not liking it either.  You haven't heard from her have you?"

"No I sure as hell haven't," Harm groused, reaching at once for the phone.  "I came back from my 
interviews and then I was reading the depositions we've gotten so far and then I had a phone call 
from Commander Turner at JAG and we got to talking and. . .and she's not answering either.  
Dammit what are they doing?  Mac knows better than to be out of touch this long when we're on 
a case."
   
  "So does Nikki" Daniel sighed. "Sir, I'm really worried about them."
  
  "So am I. Do you have the address for Ensign Clyburn?  Maybe we can back 
  track and find them."
  
  "You're serious aren't you?"
  
  "I can't sit here" Harm sighed. "I'll go crazy. I know something has 
  happened to them. I just don't know what."
  
  ****************
  Outside Syracuse
  Same Time
  
  Her head hurt. Her chest hurt. And she was cold. So cold. Mac forced her 
  eyes open and it was then that realization of what had happened hit her. She 
  and Nikki had been on their way to chase down some information they'd gotten 
  from Ensign Clyburn. About a man who knew that Major Mobley was in fact the 
  one involved with the drugs. But it had all been a set up. As soon as they 
  gotten onto the desolate road Clyburn had told them to follow, a large truck 
  came after them. Nikki had done her best to control the car but in the end 
  they'd ended up off the road in a ravine.
  
  "Mac?" Nikki moaned beside her.
  
  "Yeah I'm here" Mac assured her. "How bad are you hurt?"
  
  "My head hurts. And my leg hurts really bad."
  
  "Is it broken?" Mac asked.
  
  "I don't know. It just hurts bad. And of course it's freezing out here."
  
  "I can't believe we let Clyburn do this to us" Mac sighed. "He set us up you 
  know."
  
  "Him and Major Mobley. He was the one driving the truck that ran us off. I 
  saw him."
  
  "We need to get help" Mac sighed. "I'll see if my cell phone is around 
  somewhere." With a groan she reached for her purse and finally pulled out 
  her cell phone.
  
  "I'm not sure it will work out here ma'am" Nikki whispered. "We're pretty 
  far out."
  
  Mac pushed the power button and waited. The no signal came up on the display 
  and she let out a long sigh.
  
  "You just had to be right didn't you?"
  
  "Sorry. I've only been out here a few times but I knew it wasn't likely we'd 
  get a signal."
  
  "How traveled is this road?" Mac asked.
  
  "Not very ma'am. But if you're thinking about trying to walk and get help, 
  don't. It's below zero out there and at least in here we have a chance."
  
  "If someone finds us before we freeze to death" she sighed.
  
  "You know Daniel and the Commander will be worrying about us" Nikki reminded 
  her. "In the meantime, I do have some extra blankets and other stuff in the 
  trunk. Around here you always keep that kind of stuff in the car just in 
  case."
  
  "Can you reach down and pop the trunk?" Mac asked. "I'll go get the stuff."
  
  With a groan, Nikki reached down and pulled the trunk latch. Mac opened the 
  door and pushed herself out. A wave of dizziness sweep over her and she 
  waited for it to pass before heading back to the trunk. As promised Nikki 
  had several blankets, a flashlight and even some food stored there. Mac 
  gathered all she could and quickly closed the trunk before hurrying back to 
  the car.
  
  "God it is so cold out there" Mac sighed as she handed Nikki one of the 
  blankets.
  
  "I know. I just hope they find us soon."
  
  ******************
  "He's not around" Harm sighed as they knocked on the door to Ensign 
  Clyburn's apartment again. "Damn."
  
  "Sir, what are we going to do?" Daniel moaned. "We have no idea where they 
  are and it's getting dark and really cold out here."
  
  "We're not going to freak. We're going to find them somehow."
  
  "How?"
  
  "I don't know" Harm sighed. "I honestly don't know. I'd hoped we'd come here 
  and find them or at least Clyburn and have some clue where they might have 
  gone."

  "And now that we don't?"
  
  "We can try calling the authorities. See if we can get someone to start 
  looking for them. And then start checking the hospitals to see if there were 
  any accident victims brought in that match their description."
  
  "This sucks" Daniel sighed. "They could be anywhere. They could be out in 
  this cold somewhere and there's nothing we can do to help them."
  
  Harm regarded the young man before him, now pacing nervously.  "You and Nikki have gotten 
to be pretty close friends I know."
 
 He flushed uncomfortably and did not meet Harm's gaze. "Yes sir.  I know being involved is 
discouraged and for eight months we've tried to. . .tried to not but I don't think we succeeded.  I 
think I. . .I think you don't need to hear my personal issues sir."
 
 "It's all right son.  I know all about denial and waiting.  Let's make some phone calls."
 =================
 "How many hours until dawn?" Nikki moaned through chattering teeth.
 
 "Way too many," Mac sighed.  "But I don't think we'll freeze to death as long as we stay in the 
car.  I think between us, with the blankets to help, we can generate enough heat to keep us 
going.  Why don't you tell me about Daniel?"
 
 "My partner?  We're just friends ma'am."
 
 "OK but I didn't ask you to justify your relationship," Mac smiled despite her pain.  "You enjoy 
working with him?"
 
 "Oh yes ma'am.  He's great.  So smart and knows what he's doing all the time.  Unlike me who's 
so unsure of herself sometimes but he over looks that, and gives me credit for accomplishments 
even when I don't think I much deserve it and then he's always happy and cheers me up when I 
have a. . ."
 
 "Quiet."  Mac held up her hand to stop the young woman's rush of words.
 
 "Yes ma'am sorry.  He tells me I don't know when to shut up either and. . ."
 
 "Shut up," Mac hissed and opened the door, cursing the power windows that were dead.  
"Listen.  That's a dog barking."
 
 "Yes ma'am.  Not surprised.  There's wild dogs in these hills.  Offspring of abandoned pets.  
People should be shot for doing that."
 
 Hastily Mac closed the door.  "Well we don't want to be dinner that's for sure.  I was hoping. . ."
 
 This time it was Nikki who wanted quiet.  "Listen again ma'am.  There's someone out there 
yelling."
 
 Cautiously Mac opened the door once more.  Now carried easily by the frigid wind, she heard it 
too. 

 "Dammit Shane you'd better get back here.  I'm not going to freeze my ass off chasing yours all 
over hell's half acre.  You stupid dog."
 
 "And you thought it was only legend that they saved people stranded in the snow," Mac giggled 
and pointed to the top of the ravine where a huge St. Bernard was barking.
 
 "Well he's probably chasing a rabbit, but it's the guy chasing him we need."
 =====================
 DIS OFFICE
 1 Hour Later
 
 "OK thank you ma'am," Harm sighed and hung up the phone.  
 
 "That sounded like good news," Daniel asked hopefully.
 
 "Well it was a commitment to put a chopper in the air at dawn," he said.  "And confirmation that 
there's no reports of accidents or any Jane Doe hospital admittance's that would match their 
description."
 
 Daniel nodded, drawing a long breath for calm as the phone rang.  Both men exchanged a ray of 
hope and Harm grabbed it.  "Commander Rabb speaking."
 
 "Harm it's me."
 
 At that moment he decided those were the sweetest words he had ever heard.  He gripped the 
back of a nearby chair as his legs went weak with relief.  "Hey Me," he smiled.  "Thank God.  
Where are you?"
 
 "I'll tell you but you have to promise not to scream," she said softly.
 
 "Is Nikki with her," Daniel demanded anxiously.
 
 "Mac is Nikki with you before Daniel has a stroke?"
 
 "We were together yeah.  And I haven't seen her for the last half hour but tell Daniel they're 
taking good care of her."
 
 "Daniel, Nikki is with Mac and OK and they're. . .wait just a damn minute.  Taking good care of 
her.  What the hell happened?  Where are you two and I want a straight answer. Now."
 
 "Oswego County General, and remember you promised not to freak."
   
 "You tell me you're at a hospital and you expect me not to freak" Harm said 
 with growing alarm. "Mac what happened?"
 
 "Hospital?" Daniel gasped. "What are they doing at the hospital? What 
 happened?"
 
 "Tell him to chill" Mac sighed. "Both of you. We had a little car trouble on 
 the way home. It's a long story which I'll explain when you get here."
 
 "Just promise me you're okay" Harm whispered. "And that I'm not going to get 
 there and find out something that's going to give me a stroke."
 
 "I'm okay. I promise. When you get here we'll talk."
 
 "We're on our way" Harm promised. "Just hold tight Marine."
 
 He hung up and turned to Daniel. "They're at Oswego County General. I assume 
 you know where that is?"
 
 "Yes sir. What happened to them?"
 
 "Mac just said they had some kind of car trouble and that they were taking 
 care of Nikki but she promised both of them were going to be okay."
 
 "Car trouble? What the hell does that mean?"
 
 "We'll find out when we get there which isn't going to happen if we stand 
 here talking all night. Let's move it."
 
 A short time later they hurried through the double doors of the ER and 
 headed towards the information desk.
 
 "How can I help you?" the young woman asked.
 
 "Sarah Mackenzie and Nikki Hudson" Harm demanded. "We need to see them. I 
 don't know if they've been admitted or if they're just being treated."
 
 "Admitted" she replied after punching the keyboard. "Both of them."
 
 "Where are they?"
 
 "Third floor. When you get there, check with the nurse's station up there."
 
 "That's not ICU or anything like that right?" Daniel asked.
 
 "No sir. Just our regular floor."
 
 "Thank God for something" Harm sighed as he and Daniel headed to the 
 elevators.
 
 Once on the third floor they quickly got directions to the room which Mac 
 and Nikki were sharing.
 
 "Marine you sure know how to give a guy a stroke" Harm sighed as he hurried 
 into the room and gently gathered Mac in his arms. "Do you have any idea how 
 scared I was?"
 
 "Sorry" she said as she pulled away. "Daniel they just brought her up and 
 she's still out of it from when they set her leg."
 
 "What happened?" Daniel whispered as he looked down at Nikki.
 
 "Mobley ran us off the road. At least Nikki was pretty sure it was him. And 
 Clyburn is in on it. He gave us directions to someone he said would help us 
 with our case against Mobley. But it was all a setup. When we were in the 
 middle of no where, he ran us off the road. It was several hours before 
 someone found us."
 
 "My God you could have been killed" Harm gasped. "Or frozen to death."
 
 "Didn't happen" Mac said with a small smile. "We're both going to be fine. I 
 tried to convince them I didn't need to stay but they wanted me for at least 
 twenty four because I hit my head pretty hard."
 
 "Concussion?" he whispered.
 
 "No. So stop freaking. But between that and the few sore ribs, they wanted 
 me to stay."
 
 "I'm sorry" he gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"
 
 "Cause I needed that hug" she sniffled. "And I'm going to cry and Daniel you 
 are not seeing this." She buried her head in Harm's shoulder as the tears 
 began and the young man headed to the door.
 
 "I'll give you two a few minutes," he said softly. "I want the doctor to 
 tell me Nikki's going to be okay."
 
 "Honey it's okay" Harm soothed as Mac cried softly. "It's all over now and 
 you're going to be fine."
 
 "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be acting like this."
 
 "I think after what you've been through you're entitled. You could have been 
 killed. As it is I'm not sure how you two didn't freeze to death out there."
 
 "Fortunately Nikki had emergency supplies in her car" Mac sniffled. 
 "Blankets and stuff. Otherwise we probably would have been worse off."
 
 "I don't want to think about it" he whispered. "All that matters is you're 
 going to be okay. I have never been so scared in my life as I was today. We 
 had no idea where you two were or how to find you. I've never felt so 
 helpless in my life."
 
 "I'm sorry. We were going to call you after we left Clyburn's and then we 
 got to talking and before we knew it we were off the road. And of course out 
 there the cell was useless. All we could do was wait for someone to find 
 us."
   
"And is that what happened?"  

"Yeah.  His name was Shane.  But he was chasing a rabbit or something and found us instead."

"Mac are you sure you didn't hit your head?"  

"Not like that.  Shane is a St. Bernard and his owner was running him down," she smiled.  "You 
know this is the second time in two months I've been caught out in the cold.  I hope I'm not 
making this a habit."

"You?  What about me?" he yelped. "I told you before I was scared, well it was about like the 
night they called and said you were hospitalized after that little jaunt.  I had all but forgotten how 
scared I was then.  Marine you've got to stop doing this to me.  I'm not a young man any more.  
Give me a break huh."

"Sorry," she whispered letting herself relax against him.  "But on the plus side, I think we've got a 
good case building here.  Just have to make it stick."

"The only thing you're sticking too is his bed," he admonished her.  "I swear can't take you 
anywhere."

"Don't scold and don't make me laugh too much," she begged.  "Plus I've already cried in front of 
a junior officer.  How much more pathetic can I get."

"It's all right, and I know Daniel didn't think anything about it.  He's too concerned over Nikki to be 
majorly bothered about anything other than that."  Harm rubbed her back a few moments more 
and then laid her back on the pillow, wiping her face with a kleenex as he did so.

Daniel returned a minute later, smiling in relief as he looked down at the sleeping form of his 
partner.

"Well?" Harm asked at once.

"She's OK sir.  She has a hairline fracture of her shin bone and it's badly bruised so she'll be off it 
for a couple weeks while it heals."  

"They were both very lucky."

"Yes sir, and sir if you have to, could you pretend you're not seeing this," Daniel begged, sitting 
beside Nikki's bed and taking her hand in his.

"I see nothing," Harm grinned.  "Son it's not a sin to care about someone. I just wish someone 
had told me that about six years ago."

"Yes sir, thank you."  Daniel pushed some hair back from Nikki's forehead and placed a gentle 
kiss there, gentle but enough that she stirred and smiled softly.  

"Who's there?" she whispered without opening her eyes.

"Just how many men kiss you each day that you have to ask?" Daniel demanded.  

Her eyes opened slowly and she smiled again, looking up into his anxious face.  "Hi.  I feel all 
floaty."
 
 "I'm sure you are. But thankfully you're going to be okay. At least that's 
 what the doctors assured me."
 
 "You were worried?" Nikki murmured.
 
 "Never.  Harm and I were just sitting around the office like nothing had 
 happened."
 
 "Sorry. It was Mobley."
 
 "I know. Mac told us you saw him. You're sure?"
 
 She nodded slightly. "It was him. Clyburn is in on it with him."
 
 "We'll handle that," he said gently. "You just worry about getting better."
 
 "Mac you okay?" Nikki asked as she turned her head to look over to the other 
 bed.
 
 "I'm fine. Hovering partner is making sure of that."
 
 "Hovering partner nearly had a stroke worrying about you two" Harm groaned. 
 "So he's entitled to hover for a while."
 
 "You both need to get some rest" Mac countered. "Neither of us is going 
 anywhere tonight."
 
 "I think we'll hang out just a little longer," Harm said as he reached for 
 her hand. "At least I'm not going anywhere right away."
 
 "Neither am I" Daniel added.
 
 "Well I guess you're going to watch us sleep then" Mac sighed as her eyes 
 closed. "Because as much as I'd love to stay awake and talk, that's not 
 going to happen."
 
 "Rest honey" Harm urged as he gently stroked her forehead. "You've had a 
 rough day."
 
 It wasn't long before the even sound of their breathing told the two men 
 they were once again asleep.
 
 "We're not really leaving are we?" Daniel asked.
 
 "No way. I'm sure the authorities are looking for Mobley but there's no way 
 I'm leaving them alone."
 
 *************************
 
 "Harm what the hell are you doing here?"
 
 It was Mac's voice that woke him the next morning and with a groan he opened 
 his eyes and looked over at her.
 
 "Good morning to you too" he smiled as he pushed himself from the chair. 
 "How you feeling?"
 
 "You answer my question first. What are you doing here?"
 
 "We stayed" he shrugged as he looked over to where Daniel was still 
 sleeping. "We were concerned about Mobley still being out there."
 
 "Harm you should have gotten some rest" she sighed. "We would have been 
 fine. The hospital has security you know."
 
 "I did get rest. Now how are you feeling?"
 
 "Crappy actually" she admitted. "Like I'm coming down with something."
 
 He frowned and reached a hand to her forehead, noting at once that she was 
 warm. "Okay time to get the nurse in here" he sighed. "You're not well 
 Marine."

 "Harm no. They were going to release me this morning."
 
 "They won't when you've got a fever like that. And I'm calling for the 
 nurse."
 
 He reached for the call button before she could stop him and a few minutes 
 later the nurse wandered in.
 
 "Everything okay?" she asked.
 
 "No" Harm said as once. "She's running a fever."
 
 "Just because I'm warm doesn't mean I'm running a fever" Mac countered.
 
 "Well we can check that" the nurse smiled. "Only takes a second."
 
 She pressed the digital thermometer into Mac's ear, frowning as she read the 
 display. "101. I'd say he was right. We'll need to run some tests to see 
 what's going on. Have you been sick? Any cold or cough?"
 
"Can't you do that as I'm on my way out or something.  We've got work to do and I can't stay here 
anyway," she objected.

"You're not answering the nice lady's questions," Harm admonished her.  "Have you been sick?  I 
know you probably wouldn't tell me."

Mac glared at him and with a long sigh of capitulation admitted, "I think I might have a bladder 
infection.  I've gotten them before."

"Pain and burning?"

"Yeah some," she nodded.  "Sometimes just extra liquid will flush it out but a few times I've 
needed antibiotics."

"OK well what I'm going to do is first delay your discharge until this is checked.  Then I'm going to 
draw some blood and have you wee in a cup.  I promise it won't take any longer than it has to 
and this good looking guy here can probably take you to lunch."

"This is not how I envisioned my morning."

"No me neither," Harm spoke up. "But I want you to be OK.  And if you can get it taken care of 
instead of me hauling your stubborn six back over here, then all the better.  And they'll maybe 
even let me stick you."

"Kill me now," she moaned, dropping her head back onto the pillow.  "Harm as long as I'm stuck 
here, go back to the room and get a couple hours rest.  Please."

"And take Boy Wonder here with you," Nikki spoke up from her bed, having awoken to find 
Daniel sprawled half in his chair and half on her mattress.

"How are you feeling?" Mac asked her.

"Sore but nothing I can't manage."  She gave Daniel's head a gentle shake.  "Hey you, reveille.  
Commander Rabb is taking you and him home to rest and clean up."

"No I'm fine," he protested, his red eyes belying his assertion.

"Ma'am can't you give them an order," Nikki urged.

"Get out," Mac laughed.  "Seriously both of you go back, shower, eat and take a nap.  If they're 
going to be poking at me I won't be in the mood for entertaining.  Out.  Now."

"OK but you better be here and be OK when I get back."

"Promise. Of course I'm not going to object to a good-bye kiss."

He smiled softly and rested a hand on her forehead, allowing himself a moment of fretting before 
he kissed her.

"Daniel are you frozen in place," Nikki demanded.

"Almost," he growled.  "OK I'll be back soon."  He quickly pressed his hand to the back of her 
cheek before Harm hauled him from the room.

"They're cute," Nikki laughed.  "Both of them.   In your case though, yours is pretty much in love 
with you isn't he."

Mac blushed and shook her head.  "We've been feeling our way through that maze the past few 
weeks.  We've known each other a long time and there's been other times though when I thought 
we were going to get it figured out and it didn't happen.  So right now I'm just enjoying, and 
waiting to see what happens.  You and Daniel?"

"Not sure there," she admitted.  "I like him a lot.  A whole lot.  But he can be infuriating too.  
Some days I have my request for transfer actually up on my computer screen.  Then other days 
all I want is to be with him."
================
THREE HOURS LATER

"Marine you really look worse," Harm gasped as soon as he saw her.

"Good because that about matches how I feel," she grumped. "The poking as been non stop.  
Three different blood lettings and then they made me drink a quart of water so I could pee 
profusely which I did which hurt like hell.  Would shooting me be above and beyond the duties of 
a partner."
  
  "Did they say what's wrong?" he asked anxiously.
  
  "No. Likely it's a simple bladder infection like I said. It's just taking 
  them forever to figure it out."
  
  "Okay so there's no reason I should start freaking right?"
  
  "Freaking is reserved for me and that's exactly what I'm going to do if 
  someone doesn't come back here soon and tell me I can go home" she retorted.
  
  "Sorry. You want me to go find someone?"
  
  "Please" she sighed. "I really just want to get out of here."
  
  He was about to head out when the older man in the doctor's coat walked into 
  the room.
  
  "About time" Mac groused.
  
  "Sorry Sarah. I'm Doctor Silvin. I looked over all your test results."
  
  "What did you find?" Harm asked anxiously as he reached for Mac's hand. 
  "Nothing bad right."
  
  "Simple bladder infection" he smiled. "Nothing lots of water and some 
  cranberry juice and a course of antibiotics won't take care of in a few days."
  
  "I could have told you that" Mac groaned. "Can I go now?"
  
  "We also found one other thing" Doctor Silvin smiled. "And I guess 
  congratulations are in order for you two."
  
  "Congratulations?" Harm frowned. "For what?"
  
  "For the pregnancy.  Or. . .uh. . .didn't you two know?"
  
  "NO"
  
  The word shrieked out of Mac's mouth and at once Harm looked to her. "Mac" 
  he whispered.
  
  "NO" she shouted again. "NO. You're wrong. I am not pregnant. Do you hear 
  me? I am not pregnant."
  
  "I'm sorry but you are" Doctor Silvin frowned, not sure of his patient's reaction.
  
  "NO" she shouted. "I am not pregnant. I can't be."
  
  "Ma'am please calm down" Doctor Silvin ordered as he looked at Harm. "Sir I 
  don't understand what's going on here. Why is she so upset?"
  
  "I don't know" Harm whispered, his thoughts racing as he tried to make sense of what was 
happening. "I'm as much in the dark as you are. Mac honey, what's going on?  How could you be 
pregnant when you and I. . ."
  
  "NO" she whispered as the tears turned to sharp sobs. This wasn't happening. She 
  wasn't pregnant with Ken Hamilton's baby. It was a simple one-night stand. 
  She couldn't have gotten pregnant by him.
  
  "Mac you're scaring me," Harm said softly as he reached for her.  His own emotions and 
reactions could wait.  Right now he was concerned about her. "Honey please tell me what's 
going on?"
  
  She could only sob and he gathered her into his arms, Doctor Silvin looked 
  at him with concern. He didn't normally see this kind of reaction from women 
  when he talked of their pregnancy.
  
  "Sarah I need to ask you a question" Doctor Silvin said quietly. "Do you 
  know the man who got you pregnant?  Obviously it's not Mr. Rabb here."
  
  Harm took in a sharp breath at the doctor's words, finally understanding 
  what he was asking. If she'd been raped. And suddenly it all started to make 
  sense. The weekend she'd gotten lost in the park. How she'd kept crying and 
  couldn't tell him why.  Rape.  He could hardly think the word let alone say it.
  
  "Mac" Harm's voice trembled as she finally raised her head to look up at 
  him. "Honey, what happened that weekend? Please tell me. Whatever it is, you 
  can tell me."
  
  "I wasn't raped" she managed finally, knowing what they were surely thinking, her voice so quiet 
they could barely hear her. "I met a guy at a bar at a hotel. Afterwards we went up to his room."
  
  "It was consensual sex?" Doctor Silvin asked. "Not date rape?"
  
  "It was consensual" Mac whispered as she looked away from Harm.
  
  "So you don't know anything about this man then?" Doctor Silvin asked and 
  Mac shook her head. "Have you seen him since?"
  
  "No" she whispered. "And I don't want to."
  
  "I'm going to need to run the normal tests for HIV and other STD's" Doctor Silvin 
  said quietly. "Since you don't know the man and anything about him. Just as 
  a precaution."
  
  Her mouth fell open in shock as the full impact of what was happening hit her.  From the other 
bed Nikki watched in silence, wishing she could help, and wanting Daniel at that moment.
 
 "No.  NO.  NOOOoooo,"  her voice got louder with each utterance and when Harm attempted to 
gather her into his arms she pushed him away as hard as she could given her soreness.  Dr. 
Silvin reached for her as well, concerned she would hurt herself, only to have her turn from him 
and violently thrash in the bed.
 
 "Sarah stop," Harm urged, reading the doctor's thoughts and trying to hold her once more.  
 
 "Doctor Silvin?" The nurse called softly from the doorway.  She had seen hysterical patients 
before and knew what to do.  All she needed was his permission.
 
 "Do it," he ordered and before Harm could object, the nurse had filled Mac's IV with the contents 
of the syringe in her hand.  A few more struggles and she was still, feeling her body go out of her 
control.  Except for her tears.  Enormous sobs of pain and guilt.
 
 "OK Mr. Rabb, she needs you now," the doctor urged.  "And when she's calmed down we'll talk 
later.  She has options about this baby.  And hearing that from you might help."
 
 "Yes sir, thank you," Harm nodded, not moving from where he stood a few feet from the bed.
 
 Mac sobbed, more softly now as the drug took hold and she looked up at him, wanting to lift her 
arms for Harm and not being able to.
 
 "She'll be OK right?" Harm turned to the doctor.
 
 "Physically we need to run those tests and make sure she didn't contract a disease.  I'm going to 
refrain from mentioning how foolish having unprotected sex with a stranger is.  I'm sure from her 
reaction she knows that.  As for the baby, well. . .like I said, she has options.  What I also hope 
she has is you Mr. Rabb.  She obviously loves her, and I know you do her.  I just hope you can 
overcome this.  Somehow."
 
 "Yeah so do I," Harm mumbled, watching Mac's eyes close and feeling the full weight of the 
situation hit him.  "I need some space and air.  How long will she sleep?"
 
 "Couple hours.  It was just a light dose.  Hopefully when she wakes up her subconscious will 
have absorbed the truth and she'll be better able to deal.  Meanwhile we'll do the tests.  A clean 
bill of health would help make her feel better and if it's not, the sooner we start treatment the 
better for her and the baby."
 
Harm pursed his lips in thought and then with a bare nod to Nikki, exited the room, not stopping 
to breathe until he got outside and the frosty air assailed his lungs.  "God Mac what have you 
done to yourself.  To us?" he whispered.
 ==============
 MAC & NIKKI's ROOM 
 10 Minutes later.
 
 "Hey beautiful."  Daniel leaned over Nikki and kissed the corner of her mouth, putting a small 
bouquet on her bedside table.  "Nikki what's wrong?  You're crying.  What is it?  Are you in pain?"
 
 "No nothing like that," she whispered.  "It's Mac Danny.  She's pregnant and it's not Harm's and 
she didn't even know it and. . ." In a rush of words the story poured out to him.
 
 "So where's Harm now?"
 
 "He walked out.  Danny you don't think he won't come back do you?  She needs him more than 
ever right now and I know he loves her.  This is going to be hard for them to get through but they 
need each other."  Her last words were accompanied by another rush of tears and he drew her 
into a warm embrace. 
 
 "SSSHHH OK let me go see if there's anything I can do to help," he told her, rubbing her back.  
"You going to be OK?"
 
 "I'm sorry.  I just think they're good people and need each other and I know how I'd feel if I'd 
done something that made me afraid I was going to lose you."
 
 "You're never going to lose me," he smiled.  "Now relax and let me go see if I can help Harm."
 
 Daniel knew in the cold he would not have gone far, and sure enough he was standing outside 
the door, his chin to his chest as he contemplated what had happened.
 
 "Sir.  Sir respectfully.  You're coming back aren't you?"  Daniel's voice broke into his thoughts 
and he did not turn around.
 
 "What are you doing here Lieutenant?"
 
 "I left a woman I care a helluva lot about upstairs in tears because of what happened to you and 
Mac.  Sir, you've been dealt a hand of crap but you're not helping it by running away."
 
 "You know nothing about how things are with me and Mac," he replied, still not moving.  "And I 
honestly don't think I need any advice from you."
 
 "Respectfully again sir, I know the story.  Nikki told me.  I know you're probably horrified.  I know 
I would be.  But she needs you right now.  She's going to wake up in a little bit and if you're not 
there. . .sir that's so wrong."
 
 "Lieutenant I came out her because I needed some time to think.  Because I was afraid if I 
stayed, my initial reaction wouldn't be what I wanted.  Please, give me that time.  Go back to the 
woman you care so much for, and let me just calm down here so I'm better able to cope.  Leave 
me be Lieutenant."
 
 "Yes sir."  Daniel took his last words for the order they were and returned to Nikki.
 
 "Well?"
 
 He sat down on the edge of the bed, taking her hands.  "He's right downstairs.  That he didn't 
leave the hospital is a good sign.  Don't give up on them.  Not yet."
   
 "I hope you're right" Nikki sighed as she looked over at Mac.
 
 As Doctor Silvin had promised, a few hours later Mac started to awaken, the 
 first muffled sounds Daniel and Nikki heard was her murmuring Harm's name.
 
 "Where is he?" Nikki sighed. "She's going to be awake any minute and she's 
 going to freak if he's not here."
 
 "Harm" Mac murmured again as she tossed in the bed.
 
 "Should I go over to her?" Daniel asked. "At least so she knows someone else 
 is here. Even if I'm not the person she wants."
 
 Nikki nodded and Daniel slowly made his way over to Mac's bed, not sure what 
 he's was going to tell her. He wouldn't be lying if he said Harm was still 
 at the hospital, since he hadn't technically left the grounds when Daniel 
 had last seen him.
 
 Awareness slowly returned for Mac and finally she opened her eyes, hoping 
 she would find Harm at her side.
 
 "Harm?" she whispered as she looked up at Daniel. "Oh God he left didn't he. 
 He left me because of what I did."
 
 "He didn't leave" Daniel said slowly. "He just went out to get some air. I 
 promise you he's still here."
 
 She nodded as tears slowly slid down her face. She was pregnant. By a man 
 she didn't even know. And worst of all she'd betrayed Harm. The tears turned 
 to sobs as she realized what a mess she'd made of her life and Daniel looked 
 to Nikki for help.
 
 "Mac it's going to be okay" he said lamely.
 
 "No it won't" she managed between sobs. "He probably hates me and he has 
 every right to. I ruined everything."
 
 "I don't hate you."
 
 All eyes in the room turned to where Harm stood at the door.
 
 "You should" she sobbed.
 
 "Nothing you do could ever make me hate you" he said as he slowly made his 
 way over to her bed. "But we'll talk about that later. The doctor said you 
 could be released. The nurse will be in shortly with the papers."
 
 "I'm sorry" she whispered.
 
 "There's nothing to be sorry about" Harm said quietly.
 
 It was a long ten minutes before the nurse arrived with the release papers 
 and finally they were on their way back to their hotel. Neither had said 
 anything on the trip to the car and once in the car Mac had leaned her head 
 back and closed her eyes, more tears spilling down her face.
 
 "Mac please stop crying" he sighed when they reached their hotel rooms. "I 
 hate seeing you like this."
 
 "I hate myself" she sniffled as she sank down on the bed. "And I wish you 
 would do the same."
 
 "It's going to take you doing something a lot worse than this for me to hate 
 you" he said softly as he sat down next to her. "I just have one question 
 Mac. Why?"
 
 "I thought you were with Brittany" she whispered. "We'd been fighting and 
 everything was wrong and I just figured I'd lost you. I went to your 
 apartment and I saw you with her. Instead of going home, I stopped at the 
 Liberty Bar in the Melrose. I didn't plan on doing anything except eating."
 
 "But obviously that wasn't the case."
 
 "No" she sniffled. "The place was crowded and he was looking for a table. I 
 don't know why I offered him to join me. I just did. And we talked and then 
 he invited me to his room."
 
 "And you went?"
 
 "I wasn't planning on sleeping with him" she wailed. "I just didn't want to 
 be alone. I just wanted someone to hold me for a few hours so I wouldn't 
 feel so damn alone. But after the movie, I don't know what happened."
 Her voice broke and more tears made their way down her face. It had all been 
 wrong. She'd known the moment she'd woken up in Ken's arms it was wrong. But 
 it was too late to go back now.
 
 "And this is why you were in such a funk that weekend?" he asked and she 
 nodded.
 
 "I hated myself as soon as it was over" she whispered. "And now I really 
 hate myself. How could I have been so stupid?"
 
 "You aren't the first person to go to someone else when you were lonely" 
 Harm sighed. "It's not like I haven't done the same thing a few times myself."
 
 "I should have known better. And now what do I do? I'm pregnant. With a baby 
 I don't even want because it belongs to a man I don't even know."
 
"Well right now is not the time to make any decisions," he cautioned.  "You're in shock from the 
news and worried about my reaction and all that does not give you the level head you need."

"Of course I'm worried about what you think.  Harm you and I were just about to. . ."  She got no 
more out as her words were swallowed by a giant sob and she collapsed backwards onto the 
bed.  "God am I going to spend the next seven months in tears.  Or the rest of my life even."

"Right now you need to take care of yourself and try to forget what I might be thinking and 
feeling."  He laid down next to her on his side, propping himself up on his elbow and pushed a 
lock of hair from her face.

"I can't.  No.  Don't you see that's why I was so upset all that weekend.  I let you down.  Worse I 
betrayed you.  I just jumped to the conclusion you were seeing Brittany and then in a huge fit of 
feeling sorry for myself I let a stranger use my body.  And then you were so concerned and 
caring that it actually made me feel worse at first."

"I'm sorry I was a jerk," he smiled teasingly.  "Look you made a mistake.  A bad one.  A severe 
error in judgment.  And one that could have long term consequences.  We haven't heard from 
your blood tests yet.  You know the doctor was flabbergasted that in this day and age anyone 
would have unprotected sex with a stranger."

"Thank you.  At least when you're scolding I can handle that," she sniffled.  "When you're being 
nice I feel like I'm such a shit."

"Me being upset isn't going to make any of this going away," he reminded her, putting a firm arm 
over her and rolling her to him, tucking her into his chest.  "We'll figure all this out.  Somehow.  I 
promise you."

"This is one promise you're not going to be able to keep," she mumbled.  "It's just one huge 
mess, and it's my problem anyway."

"No.  NO it's not.  We've had our ups and downs over the years.  Times when we were almost. . 
.well almost; and times when we were barely speaking, but through all of that we would have 
been there for each other.  No matter what.  And this is no exception.  Just promise me 
something.  Promise me that you won't do anything without talking to me first.  Just do that 
much."

"OK I can do that," she sighed.  "Please let me wake up and find this whole thing is a nightmare.  
Or that this baby I'm carrying is yours."

"It could be."

"Sailor you lost me," she murmured not looking up from his chest.

"That's one of those options you have," he said slowly.  "Who's to know the difference.  We go 
back to D.C. and we had a one nighter that weekend you were with Hamilton.  Who's to know the 
difference."

"Harm I couldn't. . .you couldn't. . ."  

"It's an option," he insisted.  "We're not going to rule anything out while we figure out what's best.  
For all concerned."
 
  "I don't know. Harm it's just so confusing right now."
  
  "I know. And that's why you don't have to figure it all out right now. We've 
  got time before anyone will notice that you're pregnant. And it's not like 
  everyone hasn't seen us together the past month anyway."
  
  "I still don't like the idea of you looking bad to cover my six" she sighed.
  
  "We could get married."
  
  "No"
  
  "You wouldn't want to marry me?" he frowned.
  
  "Of course I would. But for the right reasons. Not because I was stupid 
  enough to get myself knocked up."
  
  "What if it was for the right reasons? Come on Mac, we both know we care 
  about each other. We've danced around the issue for a long while now but I think 
  that deep down inside we know how we feel about each other."
  
  "That still doesn't make this right" she whispered. "And I appreciate the 
  offer but I'm really going to have to think hard about it."
  
  "All right. It's your decision. But I want you to know the offer is on the 
  table. Either way, I'm not leaving you to deal with this alone. We'll figure 
  out something. But in the meantime you need to rest and I need to find out 
  what happened to Mobley. With any amount of luck someone picked him up."
  
  "Thank you for everything" she said quietly. "I'm sorry for making a mess of 
  everything."
  
  "Nothing is a mess Mac. And none of this has changed out how I feel about 
  you."
  
  "I don't deserve you in my life. But I'm glad you're here."
  
  "I'll always be here Mac. We'll get through this together. I promise."
  
  *******************
  Two Months Later
  JAG HQ's
  
  "You ready to face him?" Harm asked.
  
  "Ready as I'll ever be" she sighed. "And I know I've said this a hundred 
  times, but thank you for this."
  
  "Mac no one is going to think twice about it" Harm smiled. "It's not like we 
  haven't been together since we got back from Syracuse. In fact I'm sure 
  he'll tell us he's suspected all along something was going on."
  
  "I know Harriet does. That's why I want to tell him before anyone else 
  figures it out and clues him in."
  
  "He's not going to care."
  
  "Well I had nightmares last night about him yelling at both of us for being 
  irresponsible and then he sent you away to Iceland."
  
  "Mac it's okay," Harm said softly. "Would you chill? What did Doctor Ryan 
  tell you about your stress level?"
  
  She let out a long sigh and then gave him a small smile. "Thank you. I need 
  to relax don't I?"
  
  "Yes you do. Now let's go tell him."
  
  A few minutes later they sat in front of AJ's office.
  
  "So what is it?" AJ asked as he looked up at him.
  
  "Sir, there's something we need to tell you" Harm started.
  
  "The Colonel's pregnant and you're the father. Congratulations."
  
  "Sir how did you" Mac gasped.
  
  "Colonel I wasn't born yesterday" AJ smiled. "And you'd be surprised to hear 
  what goes through the grape vine around here. That is what you were going to 
  tell me isn't it?"
  
  "Yes sir" she nodded.
  
  "I'm assuming there's going to be a wedding in the near future?" AJ asked.
  
  "Not just yet" Mac said slowly.
  
  "I see" AJ nodded.
  
  "Sir it will be happening" Harm spoke up. "Probably after the baby is born."
  
  "So what's your plans Colonel?" AJ asked.
  
  "Right now to come back after the normal six weeks" Mac replied. "I'm not 
  ready to resign yet."
  
  "When's the due date?"
  
  "Beginning of November sir" Mac replied. "I plan to be back the first of 
  next year."
  
 AJ pressed his fingertips together in steeple formation.  "OK.  Well I'm sure we have issues we 
need to deal with but for the moment I can't identify any except to ask if you're OK Mac and if 
there's anything I should be aware of."
 
 'Other than the fact that I'm allowing you to buy into the lie, no sir' she muttered to herself.  "Sir 
I'm fine and feeling well.  The doctor said I'm the rare exception to the morning sickness cycle."
 
 "He also said her stress level is high and so his her blood pressure," Harm spoke up.
 
 "Well yours is probably off the charts too," she returned.  "Sir he's a worrier."
 
 "And you love it," AJ smiled, making her blush.  "So you're having problems?"
 
 "No sir nothing that's not being handled.  I have medication for the BP, I'm staying away from 
salt and that's killing me, and stress, well it goes with the job, and of course with my concern 
about telling you."
 
 "Did I bite your head off," he smiled.  
 
 "Can I ask how you knew sir?"
 
 AJ took off his reading glasses and looked at her intently.  "You can ask but I'm certainly not 
going to share that information.  If I revealed my sources I'd never find out anything that goes on 
around here..  Now is there anything you need to make this easier?  And by the way Mr. Rabb, 
well done."
 
 There was a brief second of stunned silence between them and Harm simply nodded.  "Thank 
you sir."
 
 It had been a long two months since that night in New York.  Two months full of tears and 
recriminations and consideration toward terminating the pregnancy.  In the end it was Harm who 
convinced her the life inside was given to her by God and that she had no right to reject it.  
Armed with his promise of love and dedication, she agreed to have the baby.  Harm would be the 
child's father, all ways except biologically and in the end it was  that argument won her over.  
Almost any man can father a child, but it takes a special man to be a Dad.
 
 "Then why don't you two get back to work," AJ ordered.  
 
 Harm rose and his hand went to Mac automatically to help her to her feet.  "Don't be pulling that 
in court this afternoon," she giggled. "I'm still going to mop up the floor with you."  

 "You wish" he smiled.
 
 *****************
 "Sir, ma'am I just want to go on record as saying I am so happy for you" 
 Harriet said as she met up with them after their afternoon in court.
 
 "Thank you Harriet" Mac smiled. "I guess the news is out already."
 
 "Well some of us already had our ideas" Harriet blushed. "But I'm so happy 
 for you two. I'm just surprised the big day isn't coming before the baby."
 
 "We're still working all that out" Harm explained. "But it will happen."
 
 "Anyway I'm sure you're thrilled about the baby. And we're all thrilled for 
 you two. It's been a long time coming."
 
 "Yes it has" Mac nodded before she and Harm continued to her office.

 "I'm sorry about all the wedding questions" she said once they were behind 
 closed doors.
 
 "Mac it's all right. And for the record, the idea of marriage hasn't ever been 
 that far away from me. I've been thinking about it a lot. And I know you 
 want to have this baby and then see where we are, but I don't have a problem 
 telling people it's going to happen eventually."
 
 "You don't?"
 
 "No. Because I do want it to happen. And sooner than later. I know you've 
 had a lot to deal with the past two months and that's why I haven't brought 
 it up."
 
 "You really want the whole package?" she asked. "Me and the baby."
 
 "Yes you and the baby. Mac you know how I feel about you. And now we're even 
 closer than we were before because of this."
 
 "And you know how I feel about you. But I can't help thinking this all 
 happening because I'm pregnant."
 
 "Do you need me to prove to you how much you mean to me?" he asked. "Cause 
 I'm willing to do it."

 "I know you are" she smiled. "And that's why I can't imagine my life without 
 you right now. You have been there for me like no one else."
 
 "And I will be all the way through this and beyond. This little baby inside 
 you is going to have a father. The best one I can be."
 
 "You're way too good for me" she sniffled.
 
 "It's cause I love you Sarah" he said softly. "Don't you get that. I'd do 
 anything for you cause I love you."
 
 "You really mean that don't you."
 
 "Mean I love you? Hell yes I do. I always have. And I always will. And I 
 think we can spend the rest of our lives together happy."
 
 "There's nothing more I want" she whispered. "Nothing."
 
 "Then let it happen" he smiled. "Let me love you and this baby for the rest 
 of your lives."
 
 "When the baby is born" she whispered.
 
 "All right. I can wait that long. But if you change your mind, I'm willing 
 to make it happen any time."
 
 "I know you are. But I want to get through this pregnancy and the birth 
 first and then we'll talk about the rest."
 
 "Deal. I'm going to go wrap up some stuff and then we can head home."
 
 He started towards the door, only to stop at her next words. "I love you too 
 you know" she whispered. "And the idea of having you as my husband and a 
 baby is something I've dreamed of."
 
 "Then I guess your dream is about to come true" he smiled.
 
 ************************
 November, 2003
 JAG HQ's
 
 "No. You're not going. There is no way you're driving two hours with me to 
 the mountains to go interview Captain Cline tomorrow."
 
 "May I ask why not?" Mac sighed.
 
 "You know why" Harm countered.
 
 "Harm this baby is not due for at least a week. And everyone has told me 
 that the first one is never on time. There is no reason I can't go with you 
 tomorrow."
 
 "Mac" he groaned.
 
 "It's a losing battle sailor" Mac smiled. "I'm going with you tomorrow. Tell 
 Bud he's off the hook."

 He gave her a long aggrieved sigh. "Fine you win."
 
 "Good. And after you talk to Bud, I'm so ready to get out of here. I'm 
 thinking dinner at that new Italian place sounds good."
 
 "You sure you don't want me to make dinner?' he asked.
 
 "No we'll go out. I have this major craving for Alfredo even though I'm sure 
 I'm going to regret it later."
 
 "All right. I'll talk to Bud and then we're out of here."
===========================  
THE ROMAN HOLIDAY RESTAURANT

"You're really finishing that whole plate," Harm marveled, watching Mac fork up the final bite of 
Alfredo.  "I hope the baby moved to make room."

"Yeah well she'd better move further because there's cheesecake about to join the noodles.  Are 
you having dessert?"

"I'll have a bite of yours thanks.  And a doggie bag for the rest of my linguine.  You're pretty 
amazing you know that don't you."

"Oh you've always known I could eat," she smiled.  "Actually I just feel well.  Kind of content I 
guess.  You're good for me Rabb.  Me and this baby."

"Well I gave you my word a long while back and I haven't broken a promise to you yet have I?"

"No of course not.  You promised to take care of us and you've done that.  And now it's almost 
over.  By the way, what did Bud say about not having to do the mountain trip?"

"It started with YES and went from there," he smiled.  "He was glad.  I'm just not sure you need 
that long drive."

"Harm to get away from the office for most of a day I'd hitch-hike up there.  It's supposed to be a 
nice day and the leaves are gorgeous and you can get me a gallon jug of cider and we can get a 
bushel of apples and make fresh sauce."

"What are you the original earth mother," he groaned.  "But yeah we can do that, and if the 
interview doesn't take forever, we can lunch at one of the inns in the area."

"Great.  Now about that cheesecake."
==================
NEXT MORNING
En Route to Charles Town

"You're watching the map for me now right," Harm asked, trying to keep an eye on the road and 
the speedometer, plus he had a new worry.  The sunny day that was in force when they left DC 
was no more and the temperature seemed to be dropping as they got more into the mountains. 
"This is dumb. We should go back."

"Are you crazy?  We need this man's information.  Our client is innocent and Capt.. Cline can 
corroborate his story."

"No argument there," Harm sighed.  "Long as the members don't think he's a taco short of a 
combo plate.  This man got to the rank of Captain and now he has panic attacks if he has to 
leave his house?"

"Hey don't yell at me," she giggled.  "And speaking of panic attacks, look who's talking.  
Remember the mouse in the bathroom the other night?   I didn't know you could move that fast in 
your old age Commander.  It took me twenty minutes after I escorted the poor thing outside in a 
bucket to talk you down off the edge of the tub."

"Don't exaggerate and is that Route 6 coming up?  I can't see through this sleet or whatever it is 
coming down.  Nice day my six.  And we'll have to try again for that apple stuff.  None of the 
stand operators in their right minds would be open in this cold and wet.  I swear how can the 
weather be so different in just fifty miles."

"OK yeah that's the turn," Mac confirmed.  "Six miles and then there's a red barn and we turn left 
and his house is two miles from there."

"Got it.  Feed that into the NAVSEA and I'll wake you when we're there."

"You can take the pilot out of the Tomcat," she giggled, sobering quickly as her hand went to her 
belly.

"Hey I saw that," he screeched.  "And you did that same thing last night while we were lying there 
watching the movie.  I could feel you stiffen.  Now what's going on.  And you be straight with me 
Marine."

"Harm where were you during the lecture about pre-labor contractions," she sighed.  "I'm going to 
be having them these next couple weeks."

"By the time this baby comes my sanity will be just a distant memory," he muttered.  "OK I'm 
trusting you to know that you're OK and to tell me if you're not."

She gave his hand a quick squeeze.  "We're all going to get through this just fine."

The baby inside Sarah Mackenzie had grown strong and healthy, helped my Harm's attentive if 
not overzealous care.  A baby girl, whom Harm swore would be the clone of her mother.  
Kenneth Hamilton had not been mentioned for months.  If either Mac or Harm remembered that it 
was not Rabb DNA which made up of half of her lineage it was never spoken of.

"Right here Harm," Mac yelped, having lost the last mile in thought.

Harm hit the brakes and swung the SUV into the corner feeling the wheels slide slightly on the 
glazed road.  "Damn these roads are getting bad.  Was I drinking heavily when I agreed to this, 
and agreed to bring you?"

"Maybe when we trusted the weather report," she giggled.  "Relax Sailor.  We'll talk to the man, 
and once we're back on the interstate it won't be so bad."
 
 "I can hope" Harm sighed. "I still need my head examined for bringing you 
 out here."
 
 "I'll let the Admiral know he should order a psyche eval when we get back" 
 she laughed. "Course that'll come as no surprise to him. He's had his doubts 
 about you for a while now."
 
 The tucked away cabin of Captain Cline finally loomed ahead of them and Harm 
 carefully pulled up the gravel driveway. He helped Mac out and they made 
 their way up to the front door.
 
 "Captain Cline" Harm called as he knocked on the door. "Commander Rabb and 
 Colonel Mackenzie from JAG."
 
 A moment later the door opened and a timid looking man stared back at them. 
 "Please come in. I'm sorry for making you come all this way."
 
 "It's quite all right" Mac smiled as they walked in. "And hopefully we won't 
 take too much of your time."
 
 "If you don't mind me asking, how far along are you?" Captain Cline said as 
 he looked at Mac.
 
 "Too far" Harm growled and Mac laughed.
 
 "A few more weeks to go and I'm not sure my partner here is going to 
 survive."
 
 "Well let's get started so we can get you back on the road," he said as he 
 led them to the living room.
 
 Two hours later Captain Cline had provided plenty of evidence to prove their 
 client was innocent of the charges. He also promised he'd be willing to 
 testify if necessary and Harm and Mac left feeling better about the defense 
 of their client.
 
 "Okay I'm not liking this" Harm frowned once they were in the car. "This is 
 getting real slick out here."
 
 "Slow and easy and we'll be fine" Mac counseled. "We're in no hurry here. If 
 we have to we can put up somewhere for the night."
 
 "That's once we get back to civilization" he sighed as he slowly backed out 
 of the long driveway. "I still can't believe a man who commanded a ship of a 
 five hundred men can't handle being around people."
 
 "Hey everyone has their limits. I guess he just had too much and couldn't 
 handle it anymore. He's not the first one to lose it from the stress of all 
 this."
 
 "I guess. Just make sure that seat belt is on will you. This is not looking 
 good."
 
 "Good thing I used his bathroom" Mac smiled. "There is no way I could have 
 held it that long."
 
 Harm nodded as he carefully maneuvered down the road. The two miles to the 
 turn seemed to take forever as Harm kept the speed down to a minimum.
 
 "Right at the red barn" Mac said quietly. "And you're doing just fine." The 
 words were no sooner out of her mouth when she let out a cry as a sudden 
 pain ripped through her.
 
 "Mac" he said anxiously as he stopped the SUV in the middle of the dirt 
 road. "Honey what's wrong?"
 
 "I'm not sure" she whispered. "That wasn't like the ones before."
 
 "Please tell me you're not going into labor" he begged.
 
 "If I am there's still plenty of time to get back to the nearest city. It 
 takes a while for them to come."
 
 "Yeah and that's why little AJ was born in the Admiral's office" Harm 
 countered.
 
 "That was a fluke. Most women spend hours in labor. Especially the first 
 time. So don't freak on me just yet."
 
 "I'm way past freaking Mac. In case you didn't notice it took us forever 
 just to go two miles. And I can't go any faster because we'll end up in the 
 ditch."
 
 "Then just keep doing what you're doing. We'll get to the city in time." 
 Another pain brought another cry and Harm stopped the SUV again.
 
 "Mac" he wailed.
 
 "It's okay" she managed once the pain had passed. "But I'm pretty sure this 
 is the real thing."
 
 "Why do you say that?"
 
 "Because the seat under me is all wet now" she whispered. "I think my water 
 just broke. I'm sorry." The tears slid down her face and at once he reached 
 for her.
 
 "Don't be sorry. This is my fault. But I'm going to get you out of here and 
 to the hospital. You just tell me if it gets any worse and I need to stop."
 
 She nodded and leaned back in her seat, tears of pain and fear running down 
 her face. Despite the fact she hadn't initially wanted the baby, the little girl growing inside her 
had become her world. Along with Harm.
 
 Harm slowly inched the SUV down the road, every cry from her sending his 
 heart pounding more. It was reminding him too much of when Harriet had had 
 little AJ and he prayed that this baby wasn't in that much of a hurry.
 
 "Harm stop" she cried suddenly a short time later. "We're not going to make 
 it."
 
 "Mac I can't deliver this baby" he whispered. "Honey I need to get you to 
 the hospital."
 
 "She's not going to wait that long" Mac sobbed.
 
 He pulled the SUV safely off the road in case anyone did come by before 
 helping Mac from the front seat to the back where she could lay down. He 
 then reached for his cell phone and dialed 911.
 
"911 Operator.  Your emergency please.

"Baby.  My uh. . .wife yeah. . . she's having one.  Now."

"You have a great future as a RIO," Mac giggled between pains.

"You need to get her to the hospital sir."

"I'd love to.  In the first place we're not from around here so I have no clue where the nearest 
hospital might be.  In the second place I can't drive and deliver at the same time and this baby is 
not going to wait.  Obviously all those cute little pains we thought were practice were the real 
thing."

"OK sir, now where are you?"

"We just left the Cline place.  If I give you that phone number you could narrow our location down 
right.  We're off Route 6, trying to get back to 50 but I know we're a long way."

"OK sir is that Steven Cline?"

"Yes ma'am."  

"I've got it.  What kind of a car are you in?"

"Big SUV, and you can't miss us.  We're the only ones stupid enough to be on the road."

"OK I'm getting someone out to you but it's not going to be quick.  They end up in a ditch they're 
not any help to you."

"Yes ma'am.  What should I do in the meantime.  I've thought of telling her to put her knees 
together but she'll deck me.  She's a Marine see."

"You call back if it gets more than you can handle and we'll talk you through it.  Meanwhile stay 
warm and sit tight."

She broke the connection and Harm groaned loudly and dropped the phone.  "Honey they're 
sending help.  You and the baby are ordered to wait for it."

"You hear that Amanda?  Daddy says you can't come yet."

"Cute.  Can't you breathe or something and make them stop.," he begged.

"Breathe this," she gasped as another pain took her breath and she began to perspire. 

Harm caught her hands, holding them tightly, yielding to the inevitable that he was alone, and in 
charge.  "OK you, focus on my face and remember how much I love you.  How much I want you 
and this baby.  Remember what we learned.  Breathe through the pain.  No pushing yet I guess.  
I think I'd better get 911 back too.  Watching a nice clean film wasn't the same as doing it.  And I 
don't even remember Harriet.  That was a total blur that day."

"On the other hand we're going to have a neat story to tell our daughter."

'Our daughter'.  She was most certainly theirs he thought as he watched the woman he loved 
struggle to bring her into the world.  
 
 He quickly dialed 911 again, getting the same operator as before.
 
 "Ma'am this baby isn't going to wait" Harm said anxiously. "I'm going to 
 need some help here."
 
 "Okay stay calm. First off what's your names?"
 
 "Harm and Mac is having the baby. And I'm going to have the stroke here in a 
 minute."
 
 "Harm calm. I'm Kelly and I'm going to get you through this. Is this her 
 first?'
 
 "Yes ma'am. First for both of us."
 
 Mac's scream of pain made him turn his attention back to her and he held out 
 his hand for her to squeeze.
 
 "Easy honey" he soothed. "It's going to be okay. You're not pushing are 
 you?"
 
 "I had to" she wailed. "Harm it's not going to wait."
 
 "Harm you're going to need to see how far along she is" Kelly directed. "Can 
 you see the baby's head yet?"
 
 For a moment he didn't move, the realization that he was going to have to 
 deliver this baby hitting him full force. The life of this baby was in his 
 hands.
 
 "I can see it" he said a moment later as he lifted the blanket he'd put over 
 Mac. "It's coming."
 
 "Face up or face down?" Kelly asked.
 
 "I only saw a bunch of dark hair so I guess face down" Harm answered. "Is 
 that okay?"
 
 "That's fine. Do you have anything you can use to wrap the baby with once it 
 comes out? You're going to need to keep it warm."
 
 The only blanket he'd had in the SUV he'd used to cover Mac and he didn't 
 think twice about what else he could use.
 
 "My coat is all there is. Will that do?"
 
 "That'll work. You just need to keep the baby warm."
 
 "Amanda is her name. We know it's a girl."
 
 "Well just make sure you keep Amanda bundled up once she comes out."
 
 Another scream and push from Mac and Amanda's head emerged even further out.
 
 "She's coming" Harm gasped. "The head is out."
 
 "Not much longer then. A few more pushes and she's going to be out. How's 
 Mac doing?"
 
 "Honey how you doing?" Harm asked as he turned his attention back to Mac, 
 taking a moment to push her damp hair back from her forehead. "You hanging 
 in there?"
 
 She nodded. "How much more?" she panted.
 
 "Not much. I can see her head. Full of dark hair like her mommy."
 
 He turned his attention back to the baby and with Kelly coaching him waited 
 for the baby. Several minutes later Mac gave one final push and Amanda 
 landed in Harm's waiting arms and he quickly wrapped his coat around her.
 
 "I got her" he gasped as managed to juggle the phone against his shoulder so 
 he could hold the baby and cold began to seep into his belly. "But she's not crying. Shouldn't she 
be crying?"
 
 He tried to keep his voice calm but as he held the infant in his arms he 
 knew something wasn't right. Little AJ had entered the world with a loud 
 scream and so far he hadn't heard a sound from Amanda.
 
 "She should be. Likely she's got some mucous stuck in her mouth and nose. 
 Use your little finger to clear out her mouth."
 
 "Harm what's wrong?" Mac wailed. "Why isn't she crying?"
 
 "It's going to be okay honey," he said without looking at Mac. "Just stay 
 calm." As he spoke he did as Kelly directed, gently opening the tiny mouth 
 and pulling the thick mucous from it.
 
 "Harm is she breathing yet?" Kelly asked.
 
 "No" he wailed. "I got the stuff out but I don't think she's breathing yet."

 "Harm have you ever had training for CPR on a baby?" Kelly asked quickly. 
 "Because it's not the same as an adult."
 
 "I think so," he said as he fought to stay calm. "Just give me a quick 
 refresher."
 
 "Cover both her nose and mouth and give five small puffs" Kelly directed.
 
 Praying he was doing it right and that she would be okay, Harm followed 
 Kelly's directions, blocking out Mac's sobs for the moment. All that 
 mattered was making sure this little baby took a breath.
 
 "Please Lord" he begged as he waited.  "Please don't let her die."
 
 "Harm please," Mac whispered, her sobbing ceasing long enough for her entreaty.  "Please 
Harm make her be OK."

Mac's tortured eyes tore at his heart and soul when he looked up between breaths.  "Amanda 
Michele you have a mommy and a daddy who love you," he whispered.  "God sent you to us and 
we're not wanting to let you go.  Please."

His mouth pursed to repeat his action when from the baby there was a small cough and he froze.  
Had he imagined?  Or. . .no it came again. . .a cough or maybe a hiccup.

"Harm she's dead isn't she," Mac gasped bitterly, her sobbing renewed.

"No.  No she's not," he told her sternly.  "She is not dead.  Listen.  Be quiet and listen."

Mac put her hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs and heard only silence.  Her eyes questioned 
but she remained quiet.

"Amanda Michele Rabb," Harm called softly, staring into the little face.  Her mouth was moving 
and her nostrils were beginning to flare.  "Mac I swear she's breathing."  He picked up the phone, 
his eyes still affixed to the baby.  "Ma'am I swear she's breathing. She coughed or hiccuped or 
something but nothing else.  Should I try to breathe again for her?"

"No.  Not if she's. . ." was all Kelly managed to get out for a second later the small baby took 
what was for her a deep breath and when she let it out, a long wail came with it. "Harm would 
that be the baby?" 

"Yes ma'am it sure would be," he gasped in relief.  "She's crying and breathing.  Is that OK?"

"It's perfect.  Now wrap her up warm, don't mess with the cord, and put her on your wife's chest.  
ETA on the paramedics is ten.  Nice job Harm.  You do good work."

"Thank you," he breathed and dropped the phone back to the floor while he reached his arms out 
to Mac, Amanda cradled gently.

"I don't. . ." she shook her head, not moving to take her.  "I'm afraid Harm."

"Afraid?"

"Afraid I'm going to hold her and look into those eyes and then she's going to be gone."

"No way.  She's fine.  Her little heart is beating and her chest is bumping up and down and if I 
didn't have her so wrapped up you could hear the little mewing sounds she's making.  Sarah, 
take our daughter.  No one is going to take her from you.  I promise you that."
 
  "Our daughter" Mac sniffled as Harm handed the baby to her. "God Harm she's 
  so beautiful."
  
  "Yes she is" he whispered. "Just like her mother. Whom I'm so proud of. You 
  did good Marine."
  
  "I couldn't have done it without you" she whispered as the tears slid down 
  her face. "You saved her Harm. You saved her life."
  
  The enormity of what had transpired finally hit him and he sank down next to 
  her on the floor of the SUV. "I had to. There was no way I was going to let 
  her die."
  
  He buried his head against her and they remained that way until the wail of 
  the sirens forced him to move. In short order, Mac and Amanda were loaded 
  into the ambulance, Harm forced to follow behind in the SUV. Fortunately it 
  wasn't far to the nearest hospital and he quickly parked and hurried in 
  after them.
  
  "Stop right there" a nurse said as he attempted to go through the doors that 
  Mac and Amanda had vanished behind. "Where do you think you're going?"
  
  "I need to be with them. My partner and our baby."
  
  "You will be as soon as the doctor looks them over. Now just have a seat 
  over there and fill out some forms for us please."
  
  She handed him a clipboard and pushed him towards the waiting room. The last 
  thing he wanted to do was fill out forms but he realized he didn't have much 
  choice. He did his best with the forms before heading back to the desk.
  
  "I want to see Mac now," he said as he thrust the clipboard as the woman. 
  "Sarah Mackenzie. Where is she?"
  
  "She's being moved to her room" she informed him. "You'll be able to see her 
  shortly."
  
  "What about our daughter?"
  
  "The baby has been taken to the neonatal unit. And that's all I can tell you 
  about her."
  
  "Is she okay?" Harm gasped. "Please I need to know if she's okay."
  
  "I'm sorry sir. The doctor in Neonatal will be in to talk to you and Ms. 
  Mackenzie shortly. In the meantime, if you wait a few minutes I'll then take 
  you to her."
  
  He paced the waiting room floor for several minutes before he was finally 
  directed to Mac's room.
  
  "Harm where is she?" Mac wailed as he walked in. "Is she okay?"
  
  "Shh it's okay honey" Harm soothed as he hurried to her side, at once 
  reaching for her and taking her into his arms. "They're just making sure 
  she's okay."
  
  "I'm so scared Harm" she whispered. "What if she's not okay?"
  
  "Don't. She's going to be fine. She's a Mackenzie. She's going to be a 
  fighter and she's going to be fine."
  
  He held her tightly as she gave into the tears, sobbing softly for several 
  minutes. Finally she raised her head from his shoulder and gave him a weak 
  smile.
  
  "I'm sorry."
  
  "You're entitled. You've had a rough day Mom."
  
  "Mom" she sighed. "I can't believe I'm a mother Harm."
  
  "And you're going to be a great one" he smiled. "Amanda is lucky to have 
  you."
  
  "And you" Mac said softly. "You're going to be her father Harm. The only 
  father she's ever going to know."
  
  "Father" he gulped. "I'm going to be her father."
 
 She sniffled and Harm handed her a kleenex.  "Harm you are her father.  Unless we have to tell 
her later for some medical reason, she doesn't ever have to know.  I think she'll look enough like 
me to pull it off don't you?"
 
 "Honey she is you," he smiled.  "And I feel like you've given me a gift.  Thank you."
 
 "And she's OK right?  Harm go see please.  I need to know."
 
 "Mac I don't want to leave you."
 
 "You're just going down the hall.  Harm serious now, I need to know she's OK.  And I don't want 
to hear that from some bored nurse.  I want to hear it from her father.  That's you."
 
 "Yes it is," he smiled.  "For now and for always.  I am her father."
 ===================
 The local newspaper picked up the story and with their permission Amanda Michele Rabb's 
picture was put on the front page forty-eight hours later.  A picture taken in her mother's arms, 
her eyes open wide and there was just the hint of a smile Harm would swear, never mind gas.
 
 "The first entry in her baby book," Harm held up the paper to Mac, his grin ear to ear.
 
 "And well done Mr. Rabb.  The wire services also have the photo.  It made a nice addition to my 
breakfast table this morning in the Post." AJ's voice came from the doorway, with Sturgis close 
behind.
 
 "Sir."  Harm and Mac both said in unison, Harm immediately getting to his feet.
 
 "Sir the flowers are beautiful.  Be sure to thank everyone for me," Mac sighed, gesturing to the 
spray by the window which had been delivered earlier.
 
 "Well everyone wanted to come but I exercised Admiral's privilege and Mr. Turner here won the 
drawing.  We didn't figure you needed company at all yesterday and not but two of us today."  AJ 
stepped forward and took Mac's hands, kissing her cheek.  "Colonel how are you doing?"
 
 "I'm fine sir thank you.  Did you see her?  Isn't she beautiful?"
 
 "Yes I did and yes she is.  Is that a Rabb nose?"
 
 Harm heard the slight hitch in Mac's breathing but simply smiled and shook his head.  "No sir.  
The baby is all Mackenzie.  She's her mother.  My turn will come.  A baby boy Rabb in the future.  
But not any time real soon.  I have to work at making the mother a Rabb first."
 
 "Is that day in the immediate future?" Sturgis asked, coming up on the other side of the bed and 
giving Mac's hand a squeeze.  
 
 "Yeah if he plays his cards right I think so," she nodded.  "His name is on the birth certificate so 
it may as well be on a marriage license."
 
 "And?" Sturgis prompted, his eyes laughing and Mac knew at once to what he was referring.
 
 "And there's the no small matter that I love him."
   
 "Like that was a surprise to any of us" AJ scoffed.
 
 "I guess it was only to us" Mac smiled as she looked at Harm.
 
 "Well I'm pretty impressed with both of you. That's a pretty incredible 
 story and one I'm sure Amanda is going to love to hear."
 
 "And one day we'll be telling our grandkids" Harm smiled.
 
 "Can we just stick with the kids for now" Mac laughed. "We've got a while 
 before the grandparents stage."
 
 An hour later they were alone again and Mac leaned against Harm as he sat 
 down on the edge of her bed.
 
 "Happy?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her.
 
 "Content" she smiled. "I always knew I wanted to be a mother. And now that I 
 am, I can't believe how wonderful it feels to know that little baby in there 
 is ours."
 
 "I just hope we're good parents."
 
 "You've done a pretty good job as Dad already," she said softly. "If it 
 wasn't for you, she wouldn't even be with us."
 
 "I just did what I had to do" he whispered. "And thankfully the Lord was 
 with us."
 
 Mac nodded and closed her eyes, comfortable in Harm's arms. She didn't open 
 them until she heard footsteps in the room again.
 
 "Can I help you?" Harm asked.
 
 "'I'm here for my child."
 
 Mac's eyes flew open at the sound of the voice and she felt her stomach 
 lurch when she looked up and saw Ken Hamilton in the room.
 
 "What are you doing here?" she whispered.
 
 "I'm here for my child Sarah. Amanda is my child isn't she?  I'm right aren't I?"
 
 "I don't know who you are but you've got two seconds to get out of here," 
 Harm said as he stood up and started towards the man.
 
 "My name is Ken Hamilton. Sarah and I met nine months ago at the Melrose 
 Hotel in Georgetown. Maybe she didn't tell you about that."
 
 "I know who you are.  I know all about you," Harm said coldly. "Now get out."
 
 "I saw the story Sarah" Ken said as he looked at Mac, deliberately ignoring Harm. "And I saw the 
 picture. I know she belongs to me."
 
 "Get out" Harm ordered. "Before I call security."
 
 "I'll leave now. But I can assure you this is not the last time you'll hear 
 from me. Amanda is my child and if I have to take you to court to prove it I 
 will."
 
 "Why are you doing this?" Mac whispered. "Why do you want to take my child 
 away?"
 
 "She's not just yours Sarah. She's a piece of me too. Despite what you're 
 telling everyone. I'm betting there's no way Sailor boy here the father. And I'll prove it. I'll 
 get a court ordered DNA test. Then there will be no doubt who's the father." 
 With that he strode from the room and Mac let out a small cry as she burst 
 into tears.
 
 "Shh it's okay" Harm soothed as he reached for her. "Honey don't. It's going 
 to be okay. He's not going to take her away from you."
 
 "Harm he's going to go to court" Mac wailed. "If they do a DNA test it's 
 going to prove he's the father."
 
 "Maybe we can work something out with him" Harm sighed. "So that we don't 
 have to get that far. I don't know what he wants but maybe we can make a 
 deal of some kind with him."
 
 "He's going to take her away. I know he will."
 
 "That's not going to happen. We'll fight him. Even if they say he's the 
 father, you're still the mother."
 
 "You don't understand" Mac whispered. "He's got more money than we do to 
 fight this."
 
 "How much do you know about him?" Harm asked.
 
 "Just that he has his own software business. And he lives in Williamsburg."
 
 "If he's single and has his own business, how is he going to take care of a 
 baby?" Harm frowned. "There is no way a court is going to give him custody 
 of Amanda. And if we have to we can get married to show the court we can 
 provide a stable environment for her."
 
 "You'd do that?" she sniffled.
 
 "We were just talking about getting married weren't we?" he said with a 
 small smile. "Whatever it takes, we'll do it. But honestly I don't see how 
 any court in their right mind would just turn over custody to him."
 
 "I hope you're right" she whispered. "I don't want to lose our baby."
 
 "We won't honey. We won't."
 
 "Harm what are we going to tell everyone?"
 
 "Nothing. Except for maybe the Admiral. No one else has to know what's going 
 on."
 
"I can't lose this baby Harm.  Please no.  Not after carrying her, not after she wouldn't have made 
it through the delivery without you.  I can't let her go.  She's a part of me."  Her chocolate brown 
eyes swam with tears and Harm hugged her to his chest.

"She's a part of me too, because she's a part of the woman I love," he replied.  "This man is not 
going to take her from us.  Not without a fight.  Not without the fight of his life."
================
That fight arrived five days later.  Mac and Harm had taken the baby home to her apartment 
where they had set up a small nursery.  At first they had been seemingly walking on eggs as they 
tried to pretend Ken Hamilton's threat had not happened.  Then each day they breathed a little 
easier when they heard nothing.  "Empty words," Harm had prayed that morning.

Now he was returning from Starbucks with coffee and blueberry muffins, opening the door to find 
Mac in the rocker, nursing their--yes their, he would think of the baby as nothing less--daughter.  
"I will never get tired of seeing you do that," he said softly.  

"Well she's tanked up and her mother is drained and starving," she laughed.  "So what did you 
bring me there Flyboy."

"I'll take that while you have your coffee," he grinned, lifting the baby off her and putting her onto 
his chest where she was dwarfed. 

It was at that second their world began to collapse around them.  The door bell rang and instead 
of a baby well-wisher it was a woman in a business suit.  "Mr. Harmon Rabb, Ms. Sarah 
Mackenzie?" she asked crisply as soon as Harm got the door open.

"My name is Rabb," he said calmly, having a pretty good guess what it was.  

"This is for you."

Harm took the envelope with a long sigh.

"Consider yourselves served."  And with that she was gone.

"Harm?"

"You can take a pretty good guess what it is," he sighed, putting Amanda down in her seat to 
open the envelope.

"Court order," she breathed.

"Yes it is.  The first step.  We're ordered to appear with Amanda to show cause why a paternity 
test should not be ordered."

"How do we stop it?"

"You know we can't," he said quietly.  "I can hear the judge very easily in my head.  'Mr. Rabb if 
that is your biological daughter you have no reason not to submit to the DNA test.  If she is not, 
then Mr. Hamilton has every right to open a custody suit'."  Harm picked the baby up once more 
as if holding her to his chest could save her.

"We could run you know," he said after a few moments of listening to Mac's soft sobbing.

"What?"  She wiped her face and looked up, suddenly hopeful.

"Run.  Leave the city.  Change our names.  Webb would help us."

She was silent as she thought over the possibilities.  "And spend the next eighteen years in 
hiding, afraid to talk to anyone.  Afraid to let her have friends for fear something would be found 
out.  No I don't think so."

He gave her a small smile and kissed the top of the baby's head.  "Then we fight.  You're her 
mother.  He's her father.  That doesn't give him any more right to her than you."

"He has unlimited resources."

"And we can have a marriage certificate," he growled.  "And I'm ready to make that happen.  
Right now.  Today if we can."

"Harm you're not serious.  Look at me will you?  Do I look like a bride?"

"No.  You look like a mother.  And never more beautiful to me than right this moment."
  
  "This isn't exactly how I imagined this would come about" she sighed.
  
  "Mac you know I love you" Harm whispered. "And I love our little girl. 
  What's wrong with us becoming a family for good?"
  
  "Nothing" she sniffled. "And I didn't want a lot of fluff anyway."
  
  "Would you feel better if we could get someone like Chaplain Turner to do 
  the ceremony?" he asked.
  
  "No then we'll have to explain it to everyone. If we just get the license 
  and have a judge do it that's better."
  
  "And at least we'll have one up on him" Harm sighed. "A stable family 
  instead of a single man should count for something."
  
  "So we're getting married?" she whispered.
  
  "I guess I should get you a ring first," he said softly. "Unless you don't 
  mind using the ring Dad gave to Mom when they got married. She gave it to me 
  a few years ago and said if I ever wanted to use it I could. She just had it 
  tucked away in a box since she married Frank."
  
  "You have the ring he gave her?" she sniffled.
  
  "I do. And I'd like very much to put it on your finger and make you my wife. 
  So that we can fight this bastard and prove to the court our daughter 
  belongs with us."
  
  "Harm you don't have to do this" she whispered.
  
  "Mac I love you. And I love Amanda. It's only natural that we do this. I was 
  just waiting but there's no point in waiting any longer."
  
  "I guess we're getting married then."
  
  A short time later they walked up the steps to the DC Clerk of 
Courts office. Within minutes they had their license and they made 
  their way to a local Justice of the Peace.
  
  "Welcome" the older gentleman smiled. "I'm Harry Martin. I guess you two 
  would like to get married."
  
  "Yes sir" Harm nodded.
  
  "Haven't had many Tuesday weddings recently" he smiled. "We must be in a 
  hurry."
  
  "We're both military" Harm explained.
  
  "Say no more" Harry nodded. "You want to make it right before one of you is 
  shipped off to somewhere. And now that you have that darling little girl I 
  can see just why you'd want to do that."
  
  "Something like that" Harm smiled.
  
  "Well let's get started then. We don't need any witnesses so as long as 
  you're ready we can begin."
  
  "One day I'll give you the real wedding" he whispered as they followed 
  Harry. "But for now I just want to make it official."
  
  She nodded and a few minutes later as she held their daughter in her arms 
  she became Mrs. Harmon Rabb.
  
  "Can I kiss my bride?" Harm said with a small smile when Harry pronounced 
  them man and wife.
  
  "Please do" Harry smiled. "Would you like me to hold the little one so you 
  can get a proper kiss in?"
  
  Mac handed Amanda to him and Harm took advantage of the moment, brining Mac 
  into his arms for a long and passionate kiss.
  
  "I love you Sarah" he whispered when they parted. "No matter what happens, 
  don't ever forget that."
  
  "I love you too" she whispered.
  
  Harry handed Amanda back to Mac and Harm wrapped his arms around them. "It's 
  going to be okay," he said softly. "I promise it will be."
  
  ***************
  JAG HQ's
  Next Morning
  
  "Harm I'm so nervous" Mac whispered. "What is he going to say?"
  
  "He's not going to say a thing. He's not going to judge you for what 
  happened. And we have no choice but to tell him the truth. We have to have 
  the time off to go to court and he's going to see your change of personnel 
  form that says you're now Mrs. Rabb."
  
  "I just hope he understands" she sighed. "We did lie to him."
  
 "Well in our defense we thought it was something that wasn't ever going to come up," he 
reminded her.  "That his jerk Hamilton would be the one guy in a million one night stands who 
actually wants the offspring of same."
 
 "Maybe we can just tell him that we got married on the spur of the moment and. . ."
 
 "Mac that's not a secret that can stay kept any more," he said as gently as he could.  "And if we 
try it's only going to make us look even more deceitful when it finally comes out.  We'll tell the 
Admiral because he's going to have to know.  The others will find out of course and that's 
unavoidable but they don't have to hear it from us."
 
 She shook her head and a tear squeezed from one eye.  "Well why not.  Just another in a long 
line of Mackenzie muck-ups."
 
 "Knock it off," he ordered sternly.  "You've made some mistakes and some bad choices and who 
hasn't.  I'd sure hate to start listing mine.  There's not a person on this planet who's not done 
things he's not proud of.  But we're going to get through this thing.  Besides your name is Rabb 
now.  Just like this baby's."
 
 "I just pray that's enough.  I don't even care what people think.  I just want us to be able to be a 
family," she wailed softly, looking down at the sleeping baby in the carrier that Harm carried.
 
 "I know honey," he whispered as the elevator door opened.  He took a long breath and put his 
arm over her shoulders.  "Shall we?"
 
 The office staff was going about their business and took no notice of the arrivals.  Harm guided 
Mac to Tiner's desk and gave the young man a quick smile, seeing his mouth fall open at the 
sight of the tiny baby sleeping soundly in the carrier.  "Tiner the Admiral is expecting us.  Uh. . .all 
three of us."
 
 "Yes sir he is.  I guess. Go on in."
 
 "Well good morning to you all and hello Amanda," AJ boomed.  "I don't know to what I owe this 
visit but it's a pleasure to see this little one.  She's grown since the hospital."
 
 "Yes sir we think so," Harm nodded, helping Mac to a chair.  "Sir this isn't a social call I'm afraid.  
We need to talk.  Thank you for seeing us."
 
 "I'm always glad to talk to my staff about anything that's on their minds," AJ said.  "I don't 
suppose I could do it holding your daughter?"
 
 "Oh yes sir.  She's a cuddler."  Mac smiled for the first time and lifted her from the carrier seat, 
placing her on AJ's lap.  "Sir that looks real good on you."
 
 "Uh maybe as a grandfather someday," AJ nodded.  "Of course my daughter is too busy jetting 
around the world with her fashion designer friends.  OK what can I do you for this morning?"  The 
baby gurgled and AJ laughed softly.
 
 "Mac you want to?" Harm asked, realizing they had not planned who was going to explain.
 
 "I'll start, but I doubt I can get through it,'" she sighed and looked intently at AJ.  "Sir there's no 
other way to say this except straight out.  Mr. Rabb is not Amanda's biological father."
 
 It took a full ten seconds for AJ to recover himself enough to absorb that fully.  "I see.  I think.  
Uh. . .do I know the gentleman who is?"
 
 "No sir.  Nor do I except for a few hours acquaintance."
 
 "A one night stand Colonel?" AJ's eyebrow went up to its apex.
 
 "Yes sir.  A fact I'm not at all proud of but. . .well maybe all of us have done that, not that it 
makes it right."
 
 "Yes and no.  Go on."
 
 "It gets worse.  Sir, the father saw us the paper.  He did the math and believes Amanda to be 
his.  Worse yet, he wants custody.  We've been ordered to present her for a DNA test as the first 
step."
 
 AJ nodded, one hand instinctively patting the baby's back as he held her.  "You're planning to 
fight him I trust?"
 
 "Yes sir, with everything we've got."  This from Harm.  
 
 "I'm glad to hear it.  Now what can I do?"
 
 "Well first you can not freak when you hear the next thing," Harm sighed.  "Mac and I got 
married."
 
 AJ's mouth froze in a half open position as he digested that news.  "Well then I guess the next 
thing to say is congratulations.  I just hope you did it for the right reason.  Like you two are in 
love."
 
 "Yes sir, very much," Harm smiled and Mac nodded.  "So that's not even an issue.  We just 
wanted you to know because it's going to get ugly."
 
 "Oh yeah it is," AJ agreed readily.  "Have you thought about counsel?"
 
 "Sir I guess we figured we could. . .or that I would. . ."
 
 "No.  Don't be foolish like that saying says.  You get some help.  Mr. Turner has some 
background in family law."
 
 "And he's got a full case load here," Mac pointed out, her eyes begging Harm for a decision.
 
 "What if I do some juggling and give him a little free time?  Of course that's going to mean telling 
him; and once it goes to hearing, you know it's going to come out anyway."  
 
 "Yeah it is," she said softly. "I guess everyone is going to find out soon. 
 And we do need any help we can get."
 
 "Would you like me to ask Mr. Turner in?" AJ asked. "And then I can make 
 myself scarce while you talk to him."
 
 Mac nodded and a few minutes later Sturgis walked into the office and AJ 
 made a quick exit.
 
 "Hey I didn't know you two were in with Amanda" Sturgis smiled as he walked 
 over to the baby. "She is such a doll."
 
 "Yeah she is" Mac agreed before taking a deep breath. "Sturgis we need some 
 help."
 
 "What kind of help?" he smiled. "You need a babysitter?"
 
 "No we need a lawyer," she said quietly. "Sturgis, Amanda isn't Harm's 
 child. It's a long story but the end result is the real father wants custody 
 of her."
 
 "There's no doubt he's the father?" Sturgis asked.
 
 "No.  No doubt," Mac shook her head miserably. "And we know as soon as they request a 
 DNA test, we're going to be in for the fight of our lives just to keep her."
 
 "So what do you know about the father?"
 
 "Nothing except he's got more money than we do and probably has already 
 hired the most expensive attorney money can buy" Mac sighed. "Otherwise, I 
 don't know a thing about him. It was a one night stand and it's not 
 something I'm proud of and I'd hoped I'd never have to think about it 
 again."
 
 "How'd he find out about you and the baby then?"
 
 "The news photo. I never thought about it or I would never have agreed to it."
 
 "Okay so what has he done so far?" Sturgis asked. "In terms of legal 
 proceedings."
 
 "We've been served with notice to appear before the judge next week" Harm 
 spoke up. "We're pretty sure they're going to order a paternity test which 
 will of course prove he's the father."
 
 "Okay so we know he's the father. Doesn't mean the judge will grant him 
 custody."
 
 "Well we do have one thing going for us," Harm said softly. "Mac and I got 
 married yesterday."
 
 "Congratulations" Sturgis smiled. "You didn't invite anyone?"
 
 "We just went to the justice of the peace," Mac said softly. "It was just us 
 and Amanda."
 
 "I promised her once this is all over we'd have a real wedding with our 
 friends" Harm sighed. "But right now our main concern was to have something 
 on our side when we went to court."
 
 "The judge may ask about the sudden marriage. But I know several people who 
 will vouch that you two have been in love for a while. So that shouldn't b a 
 problem. I'm guessing he's not married?"
 
 "He didn't wear a ring" Mac frowned. "But I never asked. I'm pretty sure he 
 wasn't."
 
 "Well we'll find out next week won't we" Sturgis said with a small smile.
 
 "I guess that means you'll help us?" Harm said hopefully.
 
 "As much as I can yes. But I may need someone to help me out around here."
 
 "Deal. I'm here when you need me. I want you to concentrate on us as much as 
 you can. We don't want to lose her Sturgis. She's our daughter and no one is 
 taking her away without a fight."
 
 "A fight we're not going to lose" Sturgis assured him. "Can I stop over 
 tonight and get the rest of the story? So I can start working on this."
 
 "Of course. We'll have dinner ready for you" Mac smiled.
 
 "That means I'm cooking" Harm smiled as well. "Thanks Sturgis, you have no 
 idea how much we appreciate this. And somehow we'll pay you back for this."
 
 "Seeing this family stay together is the only thanks I need" he smiled. 
 "I'll be by around seven."
 ================
MAC's APARTMENT
9PM

"That baby looks really sweet with you," Sturgis smiled.  

"And I don't believe you just used the word sweet when it's not related to a basketball shot," 
Harm growled, lifting Amanda onto his shoulder for the post-nursing burp.

"Have you got her?  I need to be excused," Mac said quietly.

"Sure go ahead," Harm nodded, going to her side and giving her a quick hug and kiss to her 
temple.  "It's going to be OK.  We've got a lot on our side."    

"This whole thing sucks Sturgis," he added as soon as he heard the bathroom door close and the 
shower water run.  "You know I've even thought of running but then that's no way for a baby girl 
to grow up."

"Harm you know your chances of getting sole custody are slim and none." Sturgis told him, 
choosing not to address Harm's flight urge.

"And Slim just left town.  Tell me about it."

"I do think we can come out OK.  That there's a mom and a dad, now married, in this household 
will help.  But she's entitled to know her real father."
 
"I know.  The best interest of the child," Harm  replied.  "We can afford to give a little on visitation 
but not on custody.  For godsake Sturgis she's an infant who belongs with her mother.

"Hey you're preaching to the choir.  I won't argue with you.  First thing's first.  The DNA test.  It 
might impress the judge if Mac was willing to stipulate to the actual paternity."

Harm nodded.  "No point in arguing that one.  OK we give there.  Then what?  Visitation.  Let's 
start high.  Something like one Sunday afternoon a year from now."

Sturgis looked at him to be sure he was in fact being sarcastic.  "First of all the baby can't 
actually leave Mac while it's so young, so that's going to work in our favor; and we can talk 
bonding, but so will they.  You may have to allow the man to come here."

"Oh sure why not.  I'll fix him a drink and we'll watch sports while he takes my daughter away," 
Harm raged.

"She's not your daughter."

"Oh yes she is.  She was born of my wife and she is my daughter," he returned, his voice in 
barely controlled anger.  "If you want to help, start by getting your mind wrapped around that 
fact."

"OK OK, don't kill the one guy on your side," Sturgis soothed.  "What we are going to need to do 
is agree to a visitation schedule, which can start out at almost nothing while the baby is nursing, 
and can gradually increase to something you three can live with by the time she's off bottles and 
baby food."

"Or I could hire a hit man."

"Or you could hire a hit man."

Sturgis's calm parroting of his words made Harm look at him closely.  "Maybe we should explore 
that.  I mean I'd be in Leavenworth but Mac would have her daughter."

"Right.  Now where were we before you were having that brain spasm," Sturgis groaned.  "Harm 
be serious here.  You're going to need to impress the judge that you're a sober reliable serious 
stepfather who wants the best for this child."

"I can do that," Harm nodded, taking his friend's words to heart.
====================
The first meeting with the opposing side came three weeks later in a mediation room at the DC 
courthouse.  Harm and Mac arrived first, the baby cradled protectively in Harm's arms, all but 
hidden by a big fluffy blanket.

They had just gotten settled when Sturgis arrived, followed by a middle aged gray haired woman 
in a crisp Navy suit.   She wasted no time in introducing herself.   "Maxine Dewhurst for the 
father.  You're Mr. Turner?"

"Yes ma'am and of course Mr. and Mrs. Rabb and Amanda," Sturgis replied smoothly.  "Harm 
show Ms. Dewhurst the reason we're here."  
  
  Reluctantly Harm moved the blanket away to reveal Amanda to Maxine.
  
  "Yes just as he said" Maxine nodded. "She does have his features. I'm hoping 
  you aren't planning on pretending she's not his."
  
  "No ma'am" Sturgis assured her. "You won't need to petition the court for 
  the DNA test. Mrs. Rabb has agreed that Mr. Hamilton is the father."
  
  "Good. Then this should be simpler. I'm sure we can work up some kind of 
  agreement that will be fair to all.
  
  It was then that the door to the room opened again and Ken walked into the 
  room with another woman.
  
  "This is Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton" Maxine informed Sturgis and both Harm and 
  Mac took in a sharp breath.
  
  "You're married?" Mac gasped.
  
  "Five years in October" Ken said quietly. "This is my wife Sally."
  
  "I don't get it" Harm said as he glared at the man. "You're married yet you 
  were screwing around on your wife."
  
  "My client's personal life is not the matter here," Maxine said hastily.
  
  "Yes it is" Harm countered. "What kind of relationship could they possibly 
  have if he's out sleeping with other women?"
  
  "I have to agree with my client Ms. Dewhurst" Sturgis spoke up. "If there's 
  instability at home, then the child should not be subjected to that."
  
  "Ken would you like to explain it" Maxine said as she looked over at him.
  
  "Look Sally and I have had some rough times," Ken said as he reached for his 
  wife's hand. "We've been trying for four years to have a baby. Not one 
  doctor in this whole damn state could tell us why she wasn't getting 
  pregnant. The stress was tearing us apart and so I started doing more trips 
  away. But I love my wife and she loves me. And we want to raise this child."
  
  "Raise this child" Mac gasped and Harm unconsciously pulled Amanda closer to 
  him.
  
  "We're petitioning for custody of Amanda" Ken said quietly. "We feel we can 
  provide a better home for her than you and Harm. You'll be allowed 
  visitations of course but she'll be raised by us."
  
  "No" Harm said as he shook his head. "You're not taking her away from us. 
  There is no way we're giving her up without a fight."
  
  "Then I guess we'll be seeing you in court" Ken snapped.
  
  "Can I see her?" Sally Hamilton whispered. "Can I just hold her for a minute 
  please?"
  
  "No" Harm said quickly.
  
  "Mr. Rabb please" Maxine sighed. "It's just for a moment. She's not going to 
  run off with the baby."
  
  Harm looked at Mac who shook her head and then over to Sturgis for guidance.
  
  "Just for a moment" Sturgis said quietly.
  
  With great reluctance Harm handed the baby to the woman, who promptly 
  started to cry as she looked down at the baby.
  
  "Oh god Ken she's so beautiful" Sally whispered. "She's even got your face."
  
  "Give her back" Mac demanded suddenly as she stood up. "Give me my baby 
  back."
  
  Sally handed Amanda back to Mac before turning to her husband and burying 
  her face against him.
  
  "She may be yours for now but you're not going to win" Ken said as he glared 
  at Mac. "She belongs with us. In a stable family that can raise her 
  properly."
  
  "We are a family" Mac snapped. "Harm and I are married."
  
  "You can't give her what we can. And the judge will see that." With that he 
  and Sally left the room.
  
  "I guess we'll be seeing you in court" Maxine said as she stood up and 
  walked out.
  
  "They want to take her away" Mac wailed when they were alone. "They're going 
  to try and take my baby away from me."
  
  "That's not going to happen" Harm said as he stood up and hugged his wife 
  and child. "I won't let it. We'll run away. It won't be hard to set up a new 
  life somewhere far from here."
  
  "Harm stop" Sturgis said quietly. "Just stop. You're not going to do that. I 
  won't let you."
  
  "You can't stop us."
 
 "No I can't.  But please remember I'm an officer of the court and as such am obligated to report 
any thing like that."
 
 "Would you?"
 
 "I said I was obligated," he smiled.  "Harm seriously that's a really bad bad bad idea.  And you 
know it.  You're sentencing Mac and your daughter not to mention yourself, to a life of running 
and hiding."
 
 "It wouldn't be like that.  I know Webb would help us.  I know we could find a place to start over 
with new documentation that he'd get for us."
 
 "I am not having this conversation," Sturgis told him firmly.  "Mac I'm appealing to you as the 
reasonable one of the duo--listen to your lawyer here.  Don't do that."
 
 She lifted her head and accepted the kleenex Sturgis was offering her with one hand and 
scooped the baby from Harm with the other.  "No we're not there.  Not yet.  Harm we're ready to 
go home.  Please."
 
 "And that's exactly what you need to do right now," Sturgis told them, reaching out to give 
Harm's arm a firm grasp.  "Harm take your wife and baby home.  I'm going to talk to Ms. 
Dewhurst in a couple of days after things have calmed down and I'll let you know what the next 
step is."
 
 "We're going to fight Sturgis.  Don't settle for anything less than that," Harm told him.  "Those are 
my instructions as your client."
 
 "You'll get my bill," Sturgis told him with a wry smile.  "Relax.  You're in good hands."
 =================
 Six weeks passed.  Six weeks in the life of Amanda Michele Rabb.  Six weeks for Mac and 
Harm to become totally immersed in her life, yet with the knowledge that it could end soon never 
far from them.
 
 That end came on a cold January afternoon in the family court.  Judge Thomasina Marlowe 
looked long and hard at the four would-be parents, two attorneys and one cherubic infant 
dressed in a pink coverall with a white ribbon wrapped around her head, sitting in her carrier on 
the witness table.
 
 "Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton, I've taken great pains with this case I can assure 
you.  And what I based my decision was on was solely what I felt was what would be best for 
Amanda.  Which after all is what you four want as well.  I've determined that while the love of her 
mother and the love of her father are both equal, not to mention her step-parents who both care 
so much for her.  A child cannot have too much love.  But she also needs stability, and for that 
reason, given that Mr. and Mrs. Rabb are both subject to the whims of the Commander-in-Chief, 
I'm awarding physical custody to the Hamiltons."
 
 "No.  NOOOooooo."  Mac's scream echoed through the small courtroom and she staggered 
backwards.  Only Harm's swift grasp saved her from hitting the floor.  At once Sturgis slid a chair 
beneath her and offered her water, which she slapped away.  
 
 "Mrs. Rabb please allow me to finish," Judge Marlowe sighed.  "You and Mr. Rabb will have 
equal time with the child.  My order simply specifies that her actual custody is to be vested in her 
father and his wife."
 
 "Equal time?  No no way that's fair," Ken yelped.  "I've finally gotten my wife a baby and she can 
have her only part of the time.  No way."
 
 "Mr. Hamilton that is my ruling," the judge snapped.  "Don't make me decide at the last second 
to question your emotional stability.  There will be some further legal stipulations that will be 
worked out in terms of health insurance and in the event of the death of any of the parties that 
sort of thing.   I'm giving the Rabbs a period of a week to adjust to the ruling.  Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, 
one week from today no later than noon, you will bring Amanda to the home of the Hamiltons.  
This case will be reviewed in ninety days.  We're through here."  
 
 The rap of her gavel went straight to Mac's heart as if she had been physically struck.  
 
 "Harm, Mac I'm sorry," Sturgis whispered.  "I thought we had it.  You'll want to hire someone 
better for the review."
 
 "I don't even want to think about that," Harm told him.  "Right now I'm only wanting to take my 
wife and my daughter home."
 
 "I'm sorry" Sturgis repeated lamely.
 
 "We're not blaming you" Harm sighed. "We'll see you later."
 
 Mac said nothing as they made their way home, her silent tears tearing at 
 Harm's heart. More than once he thought about turning the car in another 
 direction, far away from DC. But in the end he drove home and helped his 
 wife inside their apartment a short time later.
 
 "You okay?" he asked once she'd put Amanda down.
 
 She shook her head as more tears ran down her face and he pulled her into 
 his arms as the sobs wracked her body.
 
 "They're taking her away from us" she wailed. "They're taking our baby away 
 Harm. She belongs with us. Not with them."
 
 "I know she does" Harm whispered as he fought back his own tears. The idea 
 that the tiny bundle he'd delivered into this world and brought back to life 
 was going to be taken away from them was almost too much to bear. But he had 
 to be strong for Mac.
 
 "It's not fair Harm" she sobbed. "It's just not fair."
 
 He led her to the sofa where he held her and gently rocked her as she 
 sobbed. For how long they stayed like that he didn't know, but it wasn't 
 until Amanda cried later that he finally moved. Mac had cried herself to 
 sleep and he gently pulled himself from her and headed to the bedroom for 
 Amanda.
 
 "It's okay honey" he whispered as he lifted the little baby into his arms. 
 "Daddy's here."
 
 An hour he laid her back down, once again dry and her stomach full from the 
 bottle he'd given her. He stood there watching her for several moments, 
 knowing that in less than a week she would be gone from their lives. Despite 
 the fact they had equal visitation time, it wasn't going to be the same. 
 Nothing would ever be the same again.
 
 ****************
 The week passed in a blur and the morning they were supposed to take Amanda 
 to the Hamilton's was suddenly upon them. Mac had refused to talk about it 
 during the week, as if not talking about it would make it go away. But in 
 the end the day arrived and both awoke that morning knowing it was their 
 last with their daughter.
 
 "Mac you okay?" Harm asked as she fed Amanda.
 
 "I'm losing my baby today" she whispered. "Do you think I'm going to be 
 okay?"
 
 "Honey we'll get her back. We're going to make the court see that she 
 belongs with us. Somehow we'll get the judges decision changed."
 
 She looked at him miserably as if she knew that was never going to happen. 
 In her mind, she'd lost her daughter. And there was nothing she could do to 
 get her back.
 
 "I'm going to shower," he said quietly. "And then we'll drive down."
 
 As she listened to the shower start up Mac looked down at her daughter. 
 There was no way she could give her up. She belonged with her. Not with 
 them.
 
 A moment later she walked out of the apartment with Amanda and the diaper 
 bag stuffed full of Amanda's clothes. She had no idea where she was going, 
 she just knew she wasn't going to giver her baby away to Ken.
 
 "Mac" Harm called as he stepped out of the shower. "Mac?"
 
 Silence greeted him and he felt a wave of panic run through him. "Mac" he 
 called as he hurried through the apartment. "Mac where are you?"
 
 There was no sign of her or Amanda and his mind immediately began to fear 
 the worst. Until he realized that Amanda's diaper bag was gone along with 
 Mac's purse. A quick look outside told him the car was gone and he let out a 
 long sigh.
 
 "Mac don't do this" he begged. "Please come home honey."
 
 Four hours later there was no word from her and when the phone rang he raced 
 to answer it, praying it would be her.
 
 "Why the hell aren't you on your way here?" Ken Hamilton demanded when Harm 
 answered. "You're supposed to be here by now."
 
 "We'll be there. We've just been delayed."
 
 "Delayed. You had a court order to be here. Now why the hell aren't you 
 here?"
 
 "Hamilton shut up," Harm shouted. "And listen. We'll be there soon. I 
 promise. But you're just going to have to wait."
 
 "Wait for what?"
 
 "Wait for me to find Mac and Amanda" Harm admitted. "She's gone. Mac took 
 off with Amanda."

"Took off?  Rabb what the hell are you two pulling?  Took off.  For where?  Goddamit don't even 
try to tell me you didn't know she would do this.  You planned all this didn't you.  You were 
planning to disappear with my child from the start."  Ken's voice grew louder with each word and 
Harm held the phone away from his ear against the onslaught, waiting until the man simply ran 
out of steam.

"Hamilton shut up and listen to me," Harm said, his voice purposely quiet to get his attention.  
"Shut up and think.  If Mac and I were planning to run, we would have done it seven days ago.  
Believe me if I wanted, we three could be long away from this city.  But that's not what I wanted 
for my daughter and wife."

"My daughter."

"Only an accident of biology," Harm retorted.  "Now what's going to happen is that you're going to 
calm down and I'm going to find Mac and the baby, and as soon as I do I'll give you a call."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Because you have my word.  Man I'm an Naval Officer.  Disobeying a court order could get me 
court-martialed and confined.  I wouldn't do that.  I have a daughter to raise and a wife to care 
for."

"I'm giving you three hours," Ken hissed.  "Three hours and then I report you to everyone from 
the Commander in Chief on down."  He disconnected the call with a sharp click and Harm gave a 
long sigh of frustration and worry as he dialed Mac's number once more.

"Hi."

Her quiet voice which answered on the first ring startled him so much that he was at first unable 
to speak.

'Harm I'm here"

"Sarah honey thank god. Are you OK?  You and Amanda?"

"Yeah.  I just wasn't ready to give her up. I know I scared you.  I know I'm in trouble and I know I 
did wrong."  She got that much out before bursting into tears.  "Come get us please.  Unless 
you're not wanting. . ." she sniffled.

"Of course I'm wanting to," he yelped.  "But you know what we need to do."

"Yeah I do know," she replied.  "I know all too well.  But I can't do it.  I want you to come get her 
and take her to him.  I can't hand her over.  I just can't."

"Whatever is easier for you," Harm told her softly.  "Just tell me where you are."

"Washington Cathedral.  I guess that sounds weird."

"I'll be right there."

===============
She was waiting just inside the main door of the imposing structure, Amanda asleep on her chest 
in the snugli she loved to be carried in.  "Hi.  Don't hate me."

"Never in a million years."  His arms went around them both and he held her while she sobbed 
softly.  

"I got in the car and started to drive and just kind of ended up here," she sniffled.  "Maybe God 
brought me here I don't know.  But I know what we have to do.  You take her and I'll see you at 
home."

"Sure.  You don't want to say goodbye there?"

"No.  We've said our goodbyes."

Harm nodded and helped Mac off with the snugli, easily transferring the baby to his chest.  "You'll 
be OK driving now?"

"Yeah.  Just hurry home will you.  I'll be there.  I promise."
 
"I'll call you when I leave there," he said softly. "So you don't worry. And 
to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not sure I'll ever be okay" Mac whispered. "Please just go before this 
gets any harder and she wakes up."

Harm nodded and gave his wife one final hug and kiss before heading to the 
car with Amanda. He strapped the baby in and with a long sigh started south 
to Williamsburg.

Two and half-hour later he pulled into the long driveway that led to the 
huge house. A minute later he lifted Amanda into his arms and walked to the 
front door.

"I was just about to call the authorities," Ken Hamilton said as he opened 
the door.

"I told you I'd be here," Harm said quietly.

"My baby" Sally whispered as she took the baby from Harm. "You're finally 
mine."

Harm swallowed hard at her words. This wasn't the way it was supposed to end 
up. Amanda belonged with him and Mac. Not with Ken and Sally.

"Thank you for bringing her" Ken said finally.

"Yeah sure" Harm managed before hurrying from the home. It had been no 
easier for him than it would have been for Mac and he took another deep 
breath to keep back the tears as he climbed into the car. It was over. They 
had custody. He and Mac could visit but they would never be able to raise 
Amanda as their own. He waited until he was back on I-64 East before calling home. Mac's 
tearful voice answered and he blinked back the tears.

"It's done," he said softly. "She's with them. I'm on my way home. How are 
you?"

"I'm okay" she whispered. "I'll be better when you're here to hold me."

"I'm so sorry honey. I wish I could have done more."

"It's not your fault" she sniffled. "Drive safely please. I need you now 
more than ever."

For the next two hours he contemplated how things had transpired against 
them. How the baby they loved so could be taken away from them. And what 
this was going to do to Mac.

She was sitting on the sofa holding Amanda's baby picture when he arrived 
back home.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. She started to 
cry again and he this time he let his tears fall along with hers. He was 
hurting as much as she was. He'd brought Amanda into this world and now he'd 
had to hand her over to a stranger. A stranger who didn't deserve her.

"Okay I have to stop this" Mac said finally as she lifted her head and wiped 
her tears.

"You're entitled" he sighed. "This hasn't been easy on you."

"Or you" she sniffled. "You love her as much as I do. Probably even more if 
that's possible."

"I do" he nodded. "I still can't believe we only get to visit her."

"I'm sure she'll be well taken care of" Mac whispered.

"The house was pretty impressive. But that doesn't mean they'll love her 
like we would have. And it's so damn unfair."

"Yes it is," she said somberly. "And exactly why I'll never have another 
child. I will never let myself get hurt like this again."

"Mac you're not serious" he whispered. "Why can't we have our own child? No 
one would take our child away if we had one."

"We almost lost Amanda when she was born. If anything happened like that, I 
don't know if I would survive it. I don't know how I'm going to survive this 
as it is."

"Mac I know you're scared but we'll be okay. As long as we have each other 
we can get through anything."

"No" she shook her head. "I'm not having another child Harm. Ever." With 
that she pushed herself out of his arms and ran to the bedroom where she 
gave into the tears again.

"Why Lord?" Harm whispered as he sat alone on the sofa "Why did you do this 
to us?"

There was no answer and with a long sigh he closed his eyes and leaned back 
against the sofa pillow. Somehow they would get through it. He had to have 
faith that they would survive this.

  For a long while he sat in the dark, listening to her sobbing while his own heart broke.  Not just 
for the loss of the child, but for her overwhelming sadness.  Finally she cried herself to sleep and 
only then did he go into their bedroom, silently slipping into bed with her.  Sometime during the 
night he felt her slide against him,  At first he simply held her as she trembled, and to his surprise 
her mouth sought his, leaving no doubt as to what desire she was feeling.

The next morning she awoke in his arms, knowing at once from their state of undress what they 
had done.

"No.  NOOOO."  The word bounced off the wall and brought him awake at once, trying to hold 
her.  "No way," she hissed, pulling back from him.  "Harm what the hell did you do?"

"Excuse me?  I'm confused," he frowned, staring at her cowering at the far edge of the mattress, 
pulling the covers up to her tightly.

"You know real well what you did."

"Honey no I'm sorry I don't."

"You made me have sex."

"Whoa hold up there.  I would never ever make you do that.  We made love.  Yes we did.  You 
came to me during the night and made it plain what you wanted.  I was only too happy to oblige."

"I bet you were.  Don't do that again."

"Mac wait no please.  You're not going to tell me we're not going to ever make love are you?"

"I'm not risking another pregnancy.  Now I'm going to shower and dress and then we're going to 
clean up Amanda's room."

"Mac we need to talk," he gasped, reeling from both her pronouncements. 

"Talk is over.  We talked for weeks and all it got us was our daughter being ripped away from us.  
And there is no way I'm going to risk that again.  I will not be hurt like that again."

"Mac OK.  Just don't make any irrevocable decisions right now please," he begged.  

"I'm going to get a shower.  Are you going to help me clean up her room?"

"Honey you know I'd do anything for you, but she didn't die.  She's not even gone for good.  
She's coming back in two weeks for our turn; and I for one am looking forward to that."

"So am I.  But in the mean time I don't want to look at diapers and bottles like she's in the next 
room.  I want her stuff put away in between times.  That's not too much to ask.  As for the other, 
that's my decision.  My body, my choice."

When he did not reply, she moved off the bed toward the bathroom.  "You're free to find 
someone who will give you a child if that's what you want.  I wouldn't blame you."

He was so stunned by her words that she had the bathroom door closed before he could reply.  "I 
have the woman I want thank you.  And I have a child.  I just don't have her full time.  Right now."
================  

One Month Later
Harm and Mac's Apartment

"Mac what are you doing?" Harm sighed as he walked into the bedroom. Their 
first two weeks with Amanda had ended the night before and for the past 
twenty-four hours Mac had barely spoken to him.

"I'm packing" she answered.

"I can see that. Would you mind telling me where you're packing for?'

"I don't know. I just know that I need some time away."

"I take it that means I'm not invited," he said quietly.

"No you're not," she said as she turned to face him. "I need some time to 
get my head straight."

"About what?"

"About this. Our marriage. The arrangements with Amanda. All of it."

"Mac I love you" Harm whispered. "No matter what. And we'll get past all 
this."

"I can't do this Harm" she sniffled. "I can't have her and then give her 
back. I can't do it. I'd rather not have her at all. And what I'm doing to 
you isn't fair either. You don't deserve this. You only signed up for this 
because you thought Amanda needed a father."

"I married you because I loved you" he gasped. "Not because Amanda needed a 
father. You know that. And you're not serious about not wanting her for 
visits."

"Harm I can't do it. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll change my mind while I'm gone but 
I don't think that will be the case."

"Will you at least tell me where you're going?" he asked quietly. "I love 
you and I don't like the idea of you off somewhere alone."

"I've booked a flight to Arizona. I'm going to spend some time out at Red 
Rock Mesa. I'll have my cell phone if anything urgent happens."
"You planned all this without telling me?" he frowned. "Why?"

"Harm please" she sighed. "Just let me go. I need this time alone."

"Fine. You can go. But not before I remind you again that I love you. And 
that I want very much to spend the rest of my life with you. I'd like to 
have Amanda as part of that life but if you choose not to, I'll live with 
it."

"You deserve better than this" she whispered. "And I hope that when I come 
back if I've decided that's what's best for both of us, you won't fight me."

"You are what's best for me. I love you. Don't you get that? No matter what 
Sarah, I love you."

"I love you too. And that's why I think that letting go might be the best 
thing for both of us."

"I hope you think long and hard about that" he whispered. "Because that's 
not what I want. And I don't think it's what you want either."

"I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted. "But that's why I'm going 
away. So I can figure out what I want."

"How long are you going to be gone?" he asked.

"The Admiral approved a week to begin with. I told him I might need more and 
that I'd call him if that was the case."

"I don't like the idea of you out there alone that long."

"I'll be fine" she sighed as she zipped her suitcase. "My flight leaves in 
three hours. Would you mind taking me to the airport?"

"Yeah sure" he said quietly.

Two hours later he stood at the security checkpoint with her.

"You'll at least call me and let me know you got in okay" he asked.

"Harm its going to be late when I get in. I don't want to wake you. I'll 
just call you in the morning."

"Call me when you get in. I won't be sleeping anyway."

"I'm sorry" she whispered. "I don't mean to hurt you like this."

"I know. But please call me. I'm going to worry about you until I hear from 
you."

"All right. I'll call when we land. I'm going to spend the night in town 
anyway and then head out the next morning after I get some supplies 
together."

"Promise me you'll be careful" he said softly. "I love you and I want you in 
my life. For a long long time."

"I love you too" she whispered. "I'd better go."

"Not before this" he said as he pulled her into his arms, his lips finding 
hers. Her initial reaction was to push him away as she'd done for the past 
month but this time she found herself melting against him.

"That's to remind you how much I love you" he panted when they parted.

"I have to go" she whispered as she grabbed her bags and ran to the security 
checkpoint.



He was pacing the floor of the apartment, one end to the other when she finally called.  "I'm here 
and I'm fine.  You can relax now."

"No I can't because the woman I adore isn't with me," he replied quietly.  

"Oh she's with you, just not where you can hold her.  Harm we've talked about why I have do to 
this.  I love that you've cared for me through this and fretted over me but I just need this time."

"And because I love you I'm willing to grant you that without complaint or question," he told her, 
his voice strained with repressed emotion.

"And I love you for that.  I promise while I'm here I'm going to make a good decision about 
Amanda."

"Mac when you say that it scares me.  You're her mother.  She needs you in her life and you 
need her.  I need both of you.  Having her part time is better than not at all."

"And that's what I'm not so sure about.  Harm she's going to be getting older and going to be 
more aware.  It's going to be really hard for her to live in two places.  To be wrenched out of the 
arms of her mother and then the same for her father two weeks later."

"I'm her father," he reminded her in that same strained voice.  "Hamilton and his wife are just 
pretenders to the throne.  But the phone is not the place to get into this.  So what are your plans, 
and let me add quickly how foolish I think it is for you to be in the desert alone."

"I'll be fine.  I know the area well, I'm checking with the park rangers.  I'll be fine.  Good night 
Harm."

"Good night Sarah.  You know I love you."

"I know and that makes this that much harder."

Four days passed with each seemingly a week long.  Mac called every night at sunset to report 
she was doing well.  She had the solitude she craved plus some contact with the locals and 
tourists and was feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time.  Harm for his part refrained 
from pressing her, settling instead for reminding her that he loved her and would be there when 
she returned.
==============   
JAG HQ 
Mac's 5th Day Gone

"Yes ma'am.  I understand.  I think.  I can do that.  Yes of course."  Sturgis hung up his phone 
and pushed the intercom button for Harm's phone.  "Harm get in here.  It's urgent."
===================
RED ROCK INN
48 Hours Later

"You're sure Mac doesn't know what this is all about?" Sturgis asked.

"No for the tenth time," Harm laughed, "I would have told her if I needed too but I wanted to 
surprise her.  And truth be told, it was kind of a test too.  I needed to know we-she and I-had 
enough left that she would trust me to come without knowing why."

"Well never in a million years would she guess," Sturgis sighed.  "I doubt she even knows about 
the arrangements.  I mean she was so distraught that I never really went over the rest of the 
agreement with her."

"I know.  I'm actually nervous would you believe."

"Well no need.  It's going to be totally fine.  Let me take that now.  You've only got five minutes 
and you know she'll be on time."  Harm nodded and relinquished his burden then hurried out to 
the courtyard.  The fountain bubbled invitingly, its water sparkling in the desert sun.  He drew his 
breath in with a sharp gasp, her beauty almost painful to him.  Dressed in khaki shorts and white 
blouse tied over her middle, she hardly looked like a woman who had given birth a matter of 
weeks before.

"Sarah I've missed you," he called.  "It feels like years."

"Yeah to me too," she called back, turning to face him but not stepping forward.  

"Thank you for coming."

"No, thank you for calling.  I know I didn't want you to but I'm glad you talked me into it.  I'm ready 
to come home Harm."

He closed the distance between them and held his arms for her, praying she would not deny the 
ache there.  A second later his prayers were answered as she melded to him, crying softly.  
"Sarah I. . ." 

His words were cut off by her lips meeting his.  "I'm ready to come home," she repeated after a 
long kiss.  "This time apart has taught me that.  I need to desperately in my life.  As much as I 
need my daughter, I need you that much more."

"I need you too honey.  And it's all going to be OK.  I promise you that."

"You can't do that but thanks for saying that at least," she sniffled.  "I just know that together is 
how we belong."

OK good," he breathed, taking her hand.  "Now you're going to have to trust me for a few minutes 
because I have something you need to see, but it's a surprise."

"Harm I said I was feeling good about us; but that doesn't mean I'm in the mood to party," she 
objected."

"Oh this is one party you'll want," he promised.  "Trust me please.  I've trusted you these past 
days."

"Yes you have," she admitted and allowed herself to be led along, even more mystified when he 
got behind her, putting his hands gently over her eyes.  

"OK hold your arms out.  You're about to get a package," he coaxed.  

"What are you doing," she demanded.

"Never mind. Relax and go with it."

Sturgis knew his cue and stepped forward, carefully placing the bundle into Mac's arms, keeping 
his hands in place for support.  

"OK you can look now," Harm told her, pulling his hands away and when her eyes flew open, she 
was staring into the soft brown eyes of Amanda Michele Rabb.

"I don't understand," she gasped, her arms trembling.  "Sturgis why are you. . .Harm how. . 
.never mind I don't care."  With that she burst into tears and buried her face in the baby blanket.  

"I think we need to get these two in out of the sun and explain, Sturgis urged.  "Besides she's 
getting the new blanket all soggy."

 Sturgis led them inside the hotel and to the room they'd booked earlier.
 
 "Harm I don't understand" Mac whispered as she looked down at her daughter. 
 "This isn't our time with Amanda. And how did you even get her out of the 
 state?"
 
 "Our time with Amanda is all the time now," he said softly. "There was an 
 accident the other night. Ken and Sally were on their way to DC when they 
 were involved in an accident."
 
 "Oh my gosh" Mac gasped. "And Amanda was with them?"
 
 "Yes she was. Fortunately she wasn't hurt at all. The car seat did its job. 
 However the Hamiltons weren't so lucky."
 
 "No" Mac's eyes widened as she finally realized what he was saying. And why 
 Sturgis was with them. "They're not…" Her voice trailed off as she left the 
 thought unfinished.
 
 "They're dead" he finished quietly. "Neither had their seat belts on. She 
 was thrown from the car was killed instantly and he died a short time later 
 at the hospital."
 
 "But Amanda's fine?" Mac whispered as she looked down at the bundle in her 
 arms. There didn't appear to be any marks on her that would indicate she'd 
 been hurt in anyway."
 
 "Perfectly. The state highway said they've seen it before. The baby's 
 strapped in but the parent's aren't. Fortunately they thought about her even 
 if they didn't think about themselves."
 
 "So she's ours? Forever?"
 
 "Yes she is Mom" Sturgis spoke up. "The formal paperwork will be coming in a 
 few days but as far as everyone is concerned, you and Harm are now Amanda's 
 parents."
 
 "There's no one else who's going to try and take her away?" Mac questioned.
 
 "No one. She's all yours."
 
 "I'm sorry it happened like this. But I'm not sorry I have my daughter 
 back."
 
 "Our daughter" Harm corrected. "And I guess things have a way of working 
 themselves out."
 
 "Yes they do" Sturgis nodded. "Because there was one other thing I didn't 
 tell you that I'll tell both of you now. Ken Hamilton was planning on moving 
 out of the state. Maxine was preparing the paperwork for the court about 
 their relocation."
 
 "He wanted to take her away from me permanently" Mac gasped.
 
 "Likely that was his plan. And I guess in the end, God made sure Amanda 
 ended up where she belongs."
 
 "And this is where she belongs" Harm said softly. "In the arms of her 
 mother. The woman who really loves her."
 
 "And her father" Mac whispered as she handed Amanda to him. "The father who 
 really gave her life."
 
Harm swallowed hard as he recalled that cold day in the back of the SUV, cradling what his head 
was telling him was a stillborn baby, but what his heart refused to let go of.

"You saved her.  She wouldn't be here without what you did," Mac whispered.  "She's truly yours 
as much as mine."
 
 *********************
EPILOGUE

RABB HOME
Great Falls, Virginia
Amanda Rabb's Second Birthday Party

"Mac sit," Harm frowned, seeing her starting to get up to head for the kitchen.  

"I am not your cocker spaniel," she retorted.  "Honestly Harm I'm fine.  Your son is actually giving 
me an easy day, now relax."  She laughed and shook her head, smiling at AJ's look of sympathy.

"Rabb you weren't this nervous through the first pregnancy," he laughed.

"Sure I was.  I just was better at hiding it," he groused.

"Guys this place is amazing," Sturgis pronounced, coming from Harriet's guided tour of the Rabb 
home, finished just the month before allowing them to take residence just ahead of their son's 
impending birth.

"I'm picturing a pony in the back for Amanda," Harm admitted to everyone's laughter.

"Daaaa-deeee."  Amanda's shrill voice echoed across the festive deck and she lifted her chubby 
arms to him.  

"Hey baby girl."  The proud father lifted her onto his lap and she rested her head against his 
chest, taking a break from all the activity.

Some day they would tell her the whole story.  How one man fathered her but how another man 
loved and raised her.   And how three days after the second anniversary of her birth, there came 
into her life Tyler Harmon Rabb, her baby brother.

THE END