Title: A Case of Do or Die
Author: manette
Feedback to: manetjt@aol.com
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: They belong to DPB
Summary: A sequel to A Kiss is Just a Kiss- from
Harm's POV


A Case of Do or Die

This was a disaster. 

The thought bounced around in his head even as his
arms tightened around the woman in his arms.  

This wasn't supposed to happen ----not like this. 
Clothes were scattered everywhere, the cushions were
half on, half off the couch, and Mac was naked and
sprawled across his body. 

He was naked, too.

Well, at least 'Tear off Mac's clothes and ravish her'
could be scratched from his list of things to do. 

Harm was lying on the floor, his legs tangled with
hers, while she slept, peacefully unaware of his
chaotic state of mind. He ran his hands over the
smooth skin of her back as she snuggled into him. Even
now he couldn't stop touching her, couldn't stop
wanting her.

Mac was everything he wanted. He had come to terms
with that shortly after his last crash into the
Atlantic Ocean, but he had spent many sleepless nights
since then trying to figure out if she wanted anything
more than friendship from him.

After Mic's abrupt departure last year, Harm had
thought it best to proceed carefully.   

"He doesn't believe I love him," she'd explained when
she had shown up at his door all those months ago.

"Do you?" He'd asked.

"Yes," she had sighed.

He couldn't forget that Mac had run out of his
apartment in a desperate attempt to stop Mic from
leaving the country. He hadn't forgotten that she'd
run away to the Guadacanal instead of turning to him
for support. But he had been so relieved when they had
slowly found their way back to each other that he
hadn't asked too many questions. 

They had settled into this quasi-friendship,
quasi-dating thing and it had been fine at first, even
comforting. He'd thought that it was the perfect way
to lay the foundation for something more. He would be
patient, show restraint, not push for too much too
soon, and in the end he would be rewarded. Mac would
see that he loved her and more importantly that he
could be trusted with her heart.  

But then weeks had turned into months and nothing had
changed. Oh, there was the occasional hug that lasted
a little longer than necessary and once or twice a
quick kiss thrown in for no apparent reason, but that
was it, and he was slowly going out of his mind.

This platonic thing was starting to wear on him and
without any conscious decision, his touches lingered a
bit more, his normal teasing became more flirtatious.
He couldn't help himself. He wanted her too badly to
pretend otherwise.

Last night before he'd left her apartment, he'd kissed
her goodnight. It had been short and sweet, but it had
nothing to do with friendship. And with that kiss
everything had changed. 

He was past the point of holding back. He was
determined to try a new approach. He would cook for
her and tease her and kiss her and make her laugh.  He
would make her feel beautiful, make her feel like a
woman----his woman.  

He knew how to seduce a woman. He had done it
countless times before, but the stakes had never been
so high and the game had never felt more dangerous.
She might never love him the way she had loved Mic,
but he knew he could make her want him.  If she were
willing to settle for that then he would learn to live
with it. He was also past caring if it was the
smartest thing to do. He loved her.  Maybe that would
be enough.

He had convinced her to have him over after work to
review a case and at first everything had gone
according to plan. A simple meal as foreplay----a
little work on the case to build the anticipation, but
somewhere along the way he had lost control of the
situation. 

He looked down at her peaceful face, brushed a strand
of hair from her check and sighed.  Hell, he'd never
had control of the situation. That was what made
loving Mac so damned complicated. 

She had teased him all night, sitting so close that
the heat from her body had made him sweat. She had
laughed at his lame jokes, and Mac never laughed at
his lame jokes, but tonight she had laughed the way
women do when they want a man to know that they find
him attractive. It scared the hell out of him. He had
never expected the seduction to be so easy.

On top of that she had practically begged to be
kissed, or at least that's what he told himself before
he dragged her into his arms. 

Greedily, hungrily, selfishly he'd satisfied almost
every fantasy about her mouth he'd ever had.  Her
response had been utter and total surrender, and that
had been his undoing.

Maybe he could have pulled back if her hands hadn't
found their way inside his shirt and onto his bare
chest.

Maybe he could have stopped things if she hadn't
sighed and murmured his name. 

But no power on earth could have changed the outcome
once she whispered those fateful words.  "I want you,
Harm."

Months, no-years of wanting her had channeled his
desire into a deep underground river that cut through
his veins at some buried primal level. Now it
threatened to erupt with the earthbound chaos of
earthquakes----volcanoes----reemerging lost
continents. 

He found himself mired in a simmering, steamy pool of
slow caresses and languid kisses.  Time stilled and
passions were banked as he reveled in the way his
hands looked on her naked body. He discovered the
delicate textures of her skin with drawn out
precision. Her touch measured the limits of his
control with lazy indulgences.  His eyes returned
again and again to hers, memorizing the way she looked
when she gave into her desire for him. 

This was Mac wanting him and he wanted to remember how
it looked -how it tasted.

Learning her mouth was almost enough-her tongue in his
mouth, her lips glistening and sweet-

Until her breasts beckoned him-

Feasting on her nipples was intoxicating-the welcome
weight of her breasts as he nuzzled them with his
face---- 

Until the scent of her pulled him lower----

The taste of her was maddening-her legs spread just
for him-

And he knew that it would never be enough.

His thumbs settled onto the hollows of her hipbones
and nothing had ever seemed more erotic. His tongue
mapped a path from her navel to her neck, and the
throaty moan she made was swallowed by a kiss, and
then another.

Her hands skimmed across his back pulling his hips
roughly against the juncture of her thighs. He bucked
at the wet feel of her, and the need to be inside of
her was so strong that it frightened him. 

He drew back to look at her, to reconnect, and her
eyes were glazed with desire and something else. His
feverish mind imagined that it might be love. He
whispered her name as he sank into her, and the
answered sound of his name on her lips gave him hope.

He cradled her-assaulted her-took her-worshipped her-

And then he was pounding himself into her, all finesse
gone. 

Nothing mattered but finishing this, burying himself
so deep inside of her that she would never be the same
without him. 

He felt her tighten around him, binding him to her in
some invisible way. He heard her call his name again,
claiming him at least for that moment. 

Then he was conscious of nothing but vanishing into
the soft, hot mystery of her body.

He clung to her in the aftermath, still needing the
feel of her body against his. She curled herself into
him and nuzzled his neck with kisses and soft murmurs.
He didn't want to think beyond that moment. He didn't
want to face what he might see in her eyes, so he
pulled her close and held her until she drifted off to
sleep.

He couldn't be nonchalant about this and pretend that
it hadn't altered his entire life.  He would never be
the same. A voice in his head was telling him to hold
onto her and never let her go, but a louder more
insistent voice kept reminding him that if Mac didn't
love him he couldn't really hold on to her anyway.  He
had been stupid to think that making love to Mac would
solve anything. 

And now they were lying naked and cold on her living
room floor. God, how romantic. This hadn't been a
seduction-it had been more like a stampede. He had
taken her like a bull in heat and the least he could
do was to get her off the floor and into her bed where
she could be more comfortable. There would be time
later to deal with regrets.

Unfortunately, getting a naked woman off the floor was
not that easy, especially since he didn't want to wake
her.  He tried gently scooping his arms underneath her
but then he had no leverage to stand. He tried putting
her arms around his neck and hoisting her up from a
squatting position, and he'd gotten about half way up
when he heard her giggle.

"What are you doing, Harm?"

He pulled back to look at her. She was smiling in a
way that made him want to kiss her for the rest of his
life.

"I'm trying to take you to bed," he groaned as he made
another futile attempt to stand.

"Oh really? Was all of this just foreplay?" She batted
her eyes at him as he laid her back down on the floor.

He stood and held out a hand to her. "C'mon, Mac. I
think I'm too old to carry you." He smiled but it
didn't quite reach his eyes.

She studied him for a moment before giving him her
hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet. "Well,
old man, let's go to bed." She linked her arm through
his and started toward the bedroom.

"Mac, stop. I'm not sure I can do this." He tried to
look at anything but her, though it only took a glance
to see the hurt that filled her eyes.

The proud, sexy temptress was instantly replaced by a
vulnerable woman fumbling to find her clothes.   

"Don't worry about it, Harm. We just got carried
away."  She'd managed to get her sweater on and was
wrestling with her pants, jamming her legs into them
hurriedly. 

"Mac-," he started but she interrupted him.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later and now things
will be better between us. We got it out of our system
so we won't have to wonder about it anymore-" She
seemed to wind down and had nothing left to say.

She turned and walked a few feet away and he could
almost see her throwing up walls-cloaking herself in
indifference. 

Harm just watched her for a moment before deciding
that honesty was his only option. "You're right, Mac. 
I won't have to wonder about it anymore.  I'll never
look at your mouth again without wanting to kiss you.
I'll never look into your eyes without wanting to take
you to bed. But I also know that it's not nearly
enough unless you love me as much as I love you."

At his last words Mac turned to face him and tears
were sliding down her face. 

He'd made her cry, but he didn't know what that meant.
All of the things he'd feared most were compressed
into the three feet of space that separated them and
he didn't know if there were enough words in the world
to span the distance.  

"Mac, say something, please. Why are you crying?"

She sniffed then said in a small voice. "I'm crying
because I never imagined when we declared our undying
love for each other that you would be standing stark
naked in my living room, or that I would be standing
here with my pants on inside out."

Harm glanced at the pants she had thrown on
haphazardly and took a cautious step towards her.  "I
can understand why that would make you cry."

He took another step closer, his eyes brimming with
hope as he asked, "Are you declaring your undying love
for me?"

She looked forlorn, then nodded as she went into his
arms. 

"Oh Mac," he sighed. A flood of emotions- joy, relief,
surprise-enveloped him as he hugged her close.  "I
love you."

"I love you, too, Harm," she said with a teary smile.

"Why are you still crying then?"  His hands cupped her
face.  "Are these happy tears?" 

"No." She shook her head adamantly.

"No?"  He sounded surprised and a little worried.

"I'm crying because if we hadn't wasted so many years
trying to figure all of this out, you would have still
been young enough to carry me to bed."

"Oh really?" His eyes glinted dangerously as she
backed away from him.

"Really, but I'm sure I'll get over it someday."  She
scampered away, but she was laughing when he caught
her and threw her over his shoulder. She yelped and
giggled as he headed for the bedroom.

He threw her down on the bed, grinning wickedly as he
came down beside her and took her into his arms. "I
think we better get your pants off while we are at it.
I wouldn't want you to cry anymore."

"You are too good to me," Mac said. Then she kissed
him and it was full of passion and sweetness. 

He broke off the kiss and looked at her thoughtfully. 
"Mac, if I ask you something will you give me an
honest answer?"

"I'll try," she said quietly.

Somberly, he asked, "You said you used to imagine us
declaring our undying love for each other, right?"

"Maybe once or twice," she admitted.

He looked even more serious.  "And you never imagined
me naked even once?"

She laughed then and confessed teasingly, "Maybe once
or twice."

He laughed too as he gazed at the woman in his arms.

This was a miracle.

The thought bounced around in his head until his lips
met hers and then for a long time he didn't think at
all.


The End